WTFH, Saturday, Jan. 10

[not_every_mage]

Cassandra: *sound of a scuffle* What is the meaning of this?! Why are you assaulting me--

*pained chirping*

Cassandra: Release me! (pause) --Mage.

Anders: Seeker! My favorite person! So kind of the squirrels to bring us together like this.

Cassandra: Ugh. What is this? Explain it.

Anders: I don't think there is an explanation. As far as I can tell the squirrels drag people off sometimes, and make them read about what happened the day before so everyone can hear it over the radio-thing, and then they let you go. It's some kind of ritual of theirs.

*chittering and rustling*

Anders: See? They're shoving paper at us now.

Cassandra: If we read these, they will go?

Anders: I can only hope.

Cassandra: (disgusted noise)


SCHOOL

Cassandra: I will take these, then.

*chittering*

Cassandra: (something that sounds suspiciously like a dagger hitting paper hitting table) I said, I will take these, and I will be fine.

*slooooow chittering*

Anders: Dear Maker, be careful with that! I don't think they'll let us go if you hurt them.

Cassandra: I am not hurting them. Merely their scandalous notes. In a class called 'Powers, Identity and the World', the irritating bus driver Jonothon and his compatriot Rinoa introduce themselves, which is worth being referred to as a lecture in these notes. Others introduced themselves. I am glad this practice is now over. No one is learning anything important by repeating their names over and over. A professor named Bruce speaks of cities in his Cities class, and then there are introductions. A professor named Hatter speaks of Business Sense, and then there are introductions. A professor named Cara spoke to us of survival skills, and then there were (sigh) introductions. At least she had the sense to send us on a scouting exercise afterward, though that does not return to any of us the time we wasted introducing ourselves, or talking about students introducing themselves.

Then the student council met and spoke of 'winter events'. I shiver to think what may fall under that banner here.

Anders: Whatever it is, I'm sure there will be too much food and you'll manage not to have any fun. I'm looking forward to whatever terrifying new uses for glitter the council comes up with, myself.

Cassandra: You are a glutton for punishment, then.

Anders: Only if it comes from the right sources.

Cassandra: Ugh. The faculty met afterwards. I am sure it was a very colorful occasion. Why do none of these notes contain surnames? I cannot keep calling these professors 'Zoe' and 'Obi-Wan', though I fail to see the use of a glower as a teaching method. However, I can see that some may be tempted, in this place. 'Hatter' and 'Irene' spoke of his efforts to aid her class last semester, and convincing more women to wear pants. I assume one means trousers, in which case I fully agree. Trousers are far more practical than endless lines of skirts.

Anders: No argument here. If I never wear a robe again it'll be too soon.

Cassandra: I have never understood the robes. They appear drafty and inconvenient. The bus driver and 'Rinoa' spoke of their class together. Then the bus driver proceeded to speak to 'Hannibal' about their students. I pity them. As did the bus driver pity himself, while speaking to Bob about the beverages. 'Jones' and… that pony… creature spoke about the talking animals they have met. Magic. That is all there is to it. Bob informs after 'Jones' week, as did 'Irene' after 'Hannibal's, etcetera, etcetera, must we report on every nicety these people share? (disgusted noise) Only Orlesians would care about these matters. On with it.

Anders: There's still an entire other page about that meeting! Unless you want me to start reading...

Cassandra: No. I worry what will become of your portion of these notes as it is. 'Bo' and… I believe his name is Professor Hale, spoke of Professor Hale's enduring fear of the creature's crying. I do not understand why. When it is crying, it is not attacking you with cakes and balloons. Eliot and Hannibal discuss how the former is fitting into his new role, and then the creature and 'Parker' met. The squirrels seem both enthused and terrified over their meeting, going into some depth about… 'coffee, selfies, magic and magical zebras, Eliot's potential cutie mark and CAKE.' Ugh.

Anders: Cake is an ugh?

Cassandra: Have you met the creature?

Anders: I took a class from her over the summer. She's -- an experience, but not a bad one. You just need to get past your prejudices. Assuming you can.

Cassandra: Hmph. I see nothing redeeming about the creature, regardless of what it is.

Anders: She's very cheerful! Exceedingly strange, but cheerful about it.

Cassandra: There is such a thing as too cheerful.

Anders: I'm not sure I can disagree.

Cassandra: 'Anakin' discusses every teacher he once taught himself with 'Obi-Wan'. Illuminating, more gossip. 'Irene' and 'Tony' talk about matters concerning time-traveling students, though I see no condemnation of clearly dangerous time magic in these notes. Even though 'Kitty' and 'Tony' seem to have some trouble discovering which time they are from in comparison to one another. (pause) Mage, what year do you believe it is?

Anders: Er. 2015 here. 9:17 Dragon at home. Unless you did some 'dangerous time magic' yourself, Seeker.

Cassandra: I am merely determining whether we were affected by such an inconsistency. I am relieved we are not.

Anders: I … well, at least it simplifies things.

Cassandra: So it does. 'Anakin' introduces himself to the newcomer, as well. Then 'Eliot' and Professor Hale insisted on posturing at each other. I do not see the relevance of this. And apparently 'Bob' and 'Eliot' knew one another. That is the end of it. I pray most have long since ceased listening to this nonsense.

PERSONAL/TOWN

Anders: Which I guess makes it my turn now. Hurrah. Well, there's nothing going on in the dorms -- either that, or all the bribes to keep squirrels out of our business are finally working. But in town, Clint and Kitty shared Chinese food to celebrate their name-days.

*chittering*

Anders: I think they want me to call them birthdays. It's the same thing. Clint asked Kitty to stay, and then they talked about whether people really are interested in his arms. From what I've heard, the answer is yes.

Cassandra: I am not.

Anders: You haven't seen them yet. Anyhow, elsewhere in town, Sparkle whistled while he set up a display of glttery sex toys at 'Dite's Decadent Delights. I didn't know they came with glitter … ahem. And then Amy stopped by for her sweater and introduced herself as a new employee, and then they talked about a giant metal cock.

Cassandra: Ugh.

Anders: It was the rooster kind, but that's not as funny. Celia came in to be confused by the glittery toys -- as am I, Celia -- and do some personal shopping.

And over at the bar that won't serve me, Allie read behind the bar. Thrilling. Is there anything more?

Cassandra: Thank the Maker, there is none.

Anders: That's us, then.

Cassandra: Not so fast. Did you bring this upon us? How did these chittering creatures know where to find me? Why did they?

Anders: (indignant sputtering) I was asleep and they dragged me here, same as you. And -- what kind of mage do you think I am? I don't have the first idea what's going through the blighted creatures' heads, and I don't think I want to.

If they're trying to play matchmaker, they're in for disappointment.

*chittered sighs*

Cassandra: Ugh, yes. But there have been mages who could control animals. It is not so strange of me to ask. And you had better not be lying.

Anders: -- or you'll drag me back to the Circle and I'll lose my head, in that order if I'm lucky. I know. But if I had an army of squirrels to do my bidding, I'd find much better uses for them than bothering you.

Cassandra: Whatever the case, this farce is over. Goodbye.

Anders: Goodbye, Fandom. May your days start more pleasantly than ours did.