Fandom Radio, Sunday Morning

[abitlowkey]

Loki: Again? What have I done to deserve such torment?

Alex: Why can’t you stupid squirrels just--I was sleeping. Again. I--oh. It’s you. Oh, this is a conspiracy, isn’t it?

Loki: I wish to return to my rooms. Now.

*chittering*

Alex: I don’t think they care. Hey. Are you...are you a mare? You know. Again.

Loki: I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU ARE REFERRING TO.

Alex: Oh, I think you do. How’s Sleipnir these days? Still got eight hooves?

Loki: I loathe you, vile creature. In the school, Cassidy was kind enough to allow me to stay and keep any unsavoury ponies away. The Librarian, who is a monkey of some sort, was less than pleased that his employee was a pony. It seems terribly hypocritical of him.

Loki: Outside of the dorms, that simpleton Butters was thrilled to find himself with hooves. Atton was reasonably unimpressed by the unwilling foray into shapeshifting and Butters' ridiculous name. I believe I like this Atton. Jeremy was offered the announcer position in a horse race. So he may not win? Kenzi informed Butters of who she was before they raced. Though she had wings. I do not have wings. How is that fair?

Alex: I don’t have wings either. Get over it.

Loki: You are also dull and boorish. I would not be surprised that you lack a brain along with wings. Stark as a pony with armor on. How... unsurprising. Topher wished to know if he needed assistance removing it, but was rejected. Bobby then appeared and had the mark upon his flank mocked. I like mine, at least. Ender also appeared to check in on the armored pony. If only I could use a camera, my Tumblr would have so many more followers.

Loki: Bobby woke up to his prediciment and then placed a blanket over his head. Sia was pleased to find that she was still attractive as a pony. That is not a good thing, I would say. Juliet attempted to explain this to Sia while painting her hooves red. Why would one do that? Britta--ugh--stopped by to offer to take Sia out for 'partying'. Ben and Ender woke up in a small bed as ponies. We can only assume this did not end well for them at all. Fawn cried like a child upon realizing she was a pony. When Ace showed up to try to coax her out of the room, she told the girl that she was crippled. Tsk. Not even a good lie. Petra attempted to help by informing her it will only last for the weekend. I, for one, can not wait for it to be over.

Alex: In Town, April Ludgate started her first shift at Caritas and Britta the pony came in looking for a trough of booze. Yeah, uh...welcome to Fandom, Ms. Ludgate. This is pretty typical. Bo was happy not to be a pony at The Devil's Nest, where Tyrion the unicorn brought his book to the bar. Despite not having thumbs. I'm impressed. Then Callie told him she didn't get how the horns and wings worked. Kitty fluttered in and had to reintroduce herself to Bo because, pony, and then Callie wanted to know how come Kitty's wings worked. Our new Librarian confirmed with Bo that he is always an orangutan...wow, really? Callie decided it must mean he'd pissed someone off. Anyway, with all of that, Callie needed some booze and compliments, and Bo told her her wings were nice. And hopefully gave her a drink. And over at the Gig Dani watched horses race with her horses while she was a horse.

Loki: Is it a joke? You are not good at them, Ares-son.

Alex: No, that’s really what the note says she did! Here, look.

Loki: Huh. You are still bad at jokes.

Alex: I am not. Electroclash was in the park, where Professor Holmes came by looking for Pinkie Pie, but Electroclash told him this totally wasn't her fault, just an island thing. Tyrion was annoyed about not being able to turn pages in his book, and then he and Electroclash wondered what they could eat. Good question. It's too hard to get a Pop Tart out of the wrapper like this. Atton tripped over his own hooves and Eletroclash made fun of him, and then Yakko showed up with the Wheel of Morality. I don't...I don't know what that is.

Loki: I am certain it did nothing to help.

Alex: Tara was exploring in the Preserve when Jono came by to make sure she wasn't trying to graze. So uh. What was she supposed to do if she was hungry? Ben Skywalker wanted to know if everyone got wings but him, and Tara tried to cheer him up before Jono told him yes. He was lying, Ben. I don’t have wings. And neither does this asshole. At Stark Industries, Topher was having some trouble doing delicate work with his hooves, and Samus came in to run some tests I guess on her pony-shaped power suit. Topher really wanted to help her, but Samus told him no I guess because she's met Topher. Oh, and then Victor came in all "I thought I would be immune!" because I guess he's new here, and then he wanted to know how long it would last. Probably not much longer, Victor! Other people also didn't let being a pony stop them from opening up, like Jono, who opened up the Boards and was visited by Emma Frost, who teased him about conforming by being a pony. Wait, but. The note says she was a pony, too? And then Deadpool wanted Jono to come frolic with him in the park, because Deadpool. Valentine, who is a pony, opened up Turtle & Canary, and her brother Ender brought her an apple. Aw. April stopped by before her shift at Caritas, and Valentine's bad puns probably didn't help her cope. And then Emma Frost stopped by for more puns and to talk about those weird marks on their butts. Mine's a sword.

Loki: Mine is a rune. Yours looks very unfortunate. I believe the word 'overcompensating' would be applied in this case.

Alex: My sword is awesome, okay?

Loki: And miniscule! Nay, non-existent!

Alex: Okay, just because I don’t have it right now doesn’t mean it doesn’t exi--hey wait a minute. And you’re the one that turns into a mare anyway!

Loki: Jaye woke as a pony with a... tramp stamp. Ah, very clever. On the rooftops of the town, Batman--such a ridiculous name was flying around. Sparkle--even more ridiculous--asked why he could not fly, but was informed his horn may be used to pick locks. Karolina glowed like the Bifröst, but still admired how Batman could fly. Sparkle was not pleased by more flying ponies until it was said that unicorns are supposed to have powers beyond those of the average creature. Karolina told Iceman that he was cool.

Heh. How clever.

Loki: Iron Man appeared to speak with Karolina about flight and where they are from. Again, I am saddened by my lack of a camera. Batman and Iceman got into a, I believe it is called, 'pissing contest' about their powers and lack of powers. Batman was terribly jealous of Iron Man's armor before they discussed the mark upon Batman's flank. And then Iceman decided to play tag with Iron Man. No one asked me to play tag...

Alex: There’s a reason for that. It’s called you’re evil.

Loki: I have a bee eff eff. Do you?

Alex: I have a Nicholas?

Loki: It is okay, I will tell people that we are friends. Perhaps then you will appear less creepy to them!

Alex: We are the opposite of friends. If I had fists I would hit you.

Loki: Sad, sad godling! Good morrow, Fandom!