Jaye Tyler (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
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fandom_radio2007-01-21 01:06 am
fates_jaye) wrote in fandom_radio2007-01-21 01:06 am
Entry tags:
Fandom Radio, January 20
Jaye: Hey there, Fandom, this is Jaye, who is actually Jaye, thank you, here with... Um. Okay, why don't you two tell the nice people who you are?
Cedric: Cedric Diggory. Quidditch player extraordinaire, outstanding student and all around excellent fellow.
C.J.: *blows whistle* I'm C.J. Parker, a lifeguard for the Los Angeles County beaches.
Jaye: Yeah, sure. Also, you blow that whistle in here again and I'll shove it up your nose.
C.J.: That would be a violation of the law.
Jaye: ...And?
C.J.: You could be arrested.
Jaye: ...And?
Cedric: Why don't I just do this broadcast since my melodious tones will soothe listeners and make them feel safe at the same time?
Jaye: Wow. That's... special.
Cedric: Thank you, I know.
Edumacation
Jaye: Over in detention today, Cally, Katara, someone named Jason Kevin Valentine, Liam, Princess Nefer-something, Pretty Sam, Kowalski the... penguin. Okay. The Madri, Blair, and a turtle all had detention with Ares. Who is the God of Love. I want pictures from someone.
C.J.: That's what happens when you don't respect the rules. Or nature. Or the rules of nature.
Cedric: I've never had detention in my entire life. I'm far too good to be associated with those that walk dark paths in dark light with dark hopes and dreams.
Jaye: Wow. I mean, just... wow.
Cedric: Try to keep your excitement over me at a bare minimum while I'm here. I do not want drool on my clothing.
Living Conditions
Cedric: In news that is not related to me, Liam wondered why Door wasn't in his bed. Perhaps because he was a little too soft around the waist? I could show you a fix for that, Liam. A rather hairy man wakes up and fights with Sam, Juliet and Tori wake up, and Kowalski the penguin waddles off. And all of this was extremely boring compared to the time when I single handledly saved Finland from Dementors.
C.J.: That's nothing. I battled an alligator and a shark and a giant octopus and a giant squid all in the same day. My old beach was a dangerous place, and the ocean can be a terrible mistress. But in on-shore news, Street was pissed when he woke up, , Tess drew some pictures, Henry had a feeling of dread, and Lana gave Jim a wakeup call he wouldn't forget. Hope you used protection, kids. A moment of fun can mean eighteen years of bills and diapers! And girls, you don't HAVE to look as perfect as me or act skanky to get a man to love you. Girl power!
Jaye: Phoebe was pissed to wake up with Bel. Must have missed that fight on the radio. Lloyd woke up determined to ask Diane out. Congratulations, Lloyd! Who the hell are you and who's Diane? Hermione was serenaded by some Frederic guy and talked to Rikku about treasure.
Cedric: Peter Pevensie, a rather fine looking fellow, woke up hungover. Then, he and Cedric Diggory did some...talking of a different nature
Jaye: Are you talking about yourself in third person?
Cedric: Do not interrupt Cedric Diggory again.
C.J.: *blows whistle*
Jaye: Oh my god.
Cedric: Cedric Diggory demands that shrill instrument be properly removed. Tim and Dick wake up, Sandy wakes up hungover, Pip and Sandy are snuggly and wouldn't everyone rather hear about Cedric Diggory's fight to free England from the oppression of coffee?
C.J.: Brian tried to remember the name of the girl he woke up with - hey, drinking and drugs aren't cool! Don't give in to peer pressure, kids! Nadia told Al that Walter has gone crazy, which isn't very nice, and Leo...Lobe...Leobean and Six got along and talked about their mission, while Tom fought with Dawn. Awww, I hope they make up!
Jaye: Yeah, sure. Dean came by to yell at whoever Tom is for being a dork. You tell 'im, Dean. Cedric Diggory approved of the day, and he and Hermione had a... talk? or something? And then he decided he didn't feel the need to help Pretty Sam with the beast thing. Nice going.
Cedric: Did Cedric Diggory give you permission to speak of his exceptional personal life?
Jaye: The squirrels did.
Cedric: Relatives of yours, Cedric Diggory is sure
C.J.: Squirrels are like Mother Nature's most helpful messengers. Like seagulls, only with poofy tails and on land.
Jaye: The bleach has soaked into your brain, princess. Becky did her makeup, Six woke up and this is news, Willow and Pole... Po... Polecat made out, and then Alec hit on them both. This is unsurprising.
Cedric: Nef..Hef...Someone and Layla go to detention. Really, have readable names so Cedric Diggory can pronounce them. A turtle is exploring, Heidi wakes up annoyed, Eric wakes up confused due to the presence of a woman in his bed. Perhaps Jaye should fetch Cedric Diggory breakfast as well.
Jaye: Perhaps Cedric Diggory should bite Jaye Tyler's ass, not dirty.
C.J. Cedric, brush your teeth after. Oral hygiene is important.
Cedric: Cedric Diggory's oral hygeine is pristine. Cedric Diggorys' teeth are the color of newly fallen snow.
C.J.: Chad and Justin had an interesting wake up call, which I think means that they got woken up like I did during lifeguard training camp - with the sun kissing their faces and a whistle in their ear before a brisk run on the salty, bright beach. Chris ordered Summer to get him breakfast. Chris! That is no way to treat the best season of all. I mean, you can order around winter and autumn and sometimes spring, but summer is, like, sacred. And Zuko was confusingly nice. Zuko, it takes more muscles to frown than to smile. Try to keep that in mind, and then it won't be confusing when you're always nice.
Jaye: Pretty Sam couldn't get Lonnie to be any damn help, Bettina and Captain Crichton- oh-kay- weren't happy waking up together. Morning breath? Sam worked in the garage and talked to The Beast and Leobanana, and The Beast accused him of not being a person. ...Says The Beast.
Cedric: Compared to me, everyone is rather beastly. Setsuna poses cutely, Jeremiah checks his email, Alec wakes up and goes to look for fun, Wyatt is cranky, and then TK's Tannim's lamp into a wall. Such a place of violence. Cedric Diggory supports peace.
C.J.: Chris and Wyatt decided to wreak havoc together, and first of all, who is Havoc and why are they...wreaking her together, and second - wear condoms everyone! Safe sex is still fun for everyone! Anyway, Rikku decided to go on a treasure hunt, and I hope she has a metal detector because sometimes I saw old guys with those at the beach where I saved lives, and they found ZILLIONS. And, um, some guy woke up with a naked boy on his shin.
Jaye: That sounds... interesting. Casanova woke up, Katara and Zuko expressed their love... I always hoped you two crazy kids would get it together. Look, I'm just happy I recognize names. D'Anna heard about Buffy's attack, and Simba looked for food. I say start with the emo girl.
Cedric: Jaye, stop looking at Cedric Diggory like that. As beautiful as I am, you cannot have me. Alas, no one can.
Jaye: ...Okay yeah sure. Somehow I'll find the will to go on.
Cedric: Naruto wakes up and screams. Kabuto and Armand both tell him to cease the noise. Hopefully Naturo, unlike CJ, listens. Hel wakes up in bed with John Winchester. Cedric Diggory really did not need to know about that. Really. Dr. Orpheus drinks tea and then chats to Jonas Venture Jr. Cedric Diggory does not know if the chat was one of happiness or sadness. Armand wakes up.Naruto wakes up and screams. Kabuto and Armand both tell him to cease the noise. Hel wakes up in bed with John Winchester. Cedric Diggory really did not need to know about that. Really. Dr. Orpheus drinks tea and then chats to Jonas Venture Jr. Cedric Diggory does not know if the chat was one of happiness or sadness. Armand wakes up. And then goes back to sleep. Very impressive. Almost Jaye like. Waldo is in his living room but he's hard to see. Mufasa destorys a sphere and Cedric Diggory is sure CJ will object to that. Stephen Colbert wakes up and makes breakfast. Waldo is in his apartment which is creepy to Cedric Diggory. Captain Liberty comes to Stephen's apartment to borrow some milk. Wilson discovers he's sleeping with someone called James Bond. He sounds vaguely like currency. Xander drinks whiskey in the moring, Chrono discovers someone called Mary Magdeline, Winnie makes her bed, and Captain Morgan surveys his domain. And Cedric Diggory has become bored with you all. Therefore, I'm leaving to go do my hair. Goodbye.
Jaye: Um. Cedric Diggory has left the building. Up in the fourth floor common room, Henry did homework. He's cool. He made me eggs. Sak defeated his homework and hey, even if you are on drugs, that's a useful talent to have. Henry and Sak both asked Mac how Cally is, but Sak totally kissed Mac. I'm not going to question the thought process there. Apparently someone named Heidi said she wanted to go back to New Jersey, but I talked to her and that little psych-ho is totally Kaylee.
C.J.: So okay in the gym, some guy worked out his shin muscles, which are like, the most important muscles. Go, you!
In the second floor common room, there was breakfast, the most important meal of the day! Zero showed up - hey, girl, you are not a zero! You're a ten! Girl power! Anyway, she greeted D, talked to that skanky bitch Hermy-one, and filmed Spider-Ham, Rita, meeeee, Simba, and Juliet, and talked to Jake about editing. I love movies, and I look great on camera. Make sure you keep me in there lots, Girl With Low Self-Esteem!
Hermy-one, uh, didn't speak English at D'anna, and Rita was looking for a spare boy before Billy introduced himself.
Spider-Ham, who saves people - hey, fellow life-saver! - and doesn't smoke - JUST SAY NO, KIDS - met Molly, who went to see Buffy in the clinic with D.
Oh, and Hermy-one is a skanky bitch ho and her hair isn't as nice as mine.
So anyway Simba learned about Elvis, met Juliet, Rita and Tannim, and Ir...Iru...Iran was really confused. Hey, just pay attention and you can catch up quick!
Jaye: Yeah huh. In the fifth floor CR, Bel treated everyone to healthy snacks. I'm so glad I had Henry make me food. And I'm sure CJ would say something about like, yay raisins or something. Sandy worried about her boyfriend, and Al checked up on her. She also found out Pip groped her due to mistaken identity. I could see that happening since I DON'T KNOW HALF OF YOU PEOPLE. Brian met Bel, who is in charge of love and happiness or something. Jeremiah is wary. I can't blame him.
You know what, maybe I'm on drugs. Pam, wherever you are, I might not have been kidding about the LSD in the water thing.
Brian ignored Sandy, told Annette he'd rather be called Sneakerfight, and then Nadia made herself his babysitter. Schrodinger just doesn't know who the guy is. Nadia and Al got their pockets picked, Dick is all yay with the acrobatic skills, I would love some alcohol right now, Billy asked Annette if she was spying on him, and Summer tried to tell Jeremiah he's her boyfriend. That's so no way to land a guy, Summer, but I admire your chops.
Sokka couldn't get Bel to change the channel, and apparently Bel is an agent for the Source of All Good. Well, that's... good, or something. I have no clue. You people talk too damn much. Alec hit on Annette, Summer decided Bel's food caused the weirdness that is today, and complained about it to Alec and Billy. Nadia couldn't get alcohol or answers out of Bel, and she and Annette were very happy to be normal. I'm really happy to know you're both normal, oh-em-gee. Summer thought Chris' hair is demonic, Nadia found out Alec is a sex fiend and um, have we listened to the radio for a while? She and Billy figured out that Walter was in the common room with them, and some Waldo guy looked for food. Apparently Bel's wasn't good enough. Oops.
C.J.: Nef...Neffy played with knives in the sally, and she wasn't wearing anything protective. Boys and girls, don't do that! That's a good way to lose an eye! Conner sparred with her, and so did Tyler. And Henry was very polite to Neffy.
Dick - heeheehee - hid in a tree. He thought Annette was EVIL, and he helped Sandy find her boyfriend.
Wade mocked Dick's nipples, which is just mean. Just because your breasts are different or your nipples all...protrudey...doesn't mean that anyone has the right to make fun of you in any way! No one should make you feel insignificant, especially when it comes to boobs.
Dick escorted Rita to town, and Josh told him that boredom is dangerous. And Dick told Tori that he's a superhero.
Paul Revere announced that Cassie and Victor von Doom didn't fight in the park, and Zero accused Dick of accosting Rita. Rikku found treasure in Zero's pockets, and Dick stopped Tannim on his way out. But
Kabooty didn't get stopped.
In the third floor common room, Josiah was a big grumpypants. He met Justin, who was interviewed by Zero and Cassie didn't get why Justin didn't know this von Doom guy. Well, maybe they just haven't met. It's not really a big deal.
Paul Revere told everyone that Rita was accosted in her underwear, and Josiah thought that Zero was a goddess or something.
Tori was also a grumpypants in another common room, and she and Connerdecided that everyone's gone nuts. Hey, don't judge what you don't know! Cassie's got the right idea, since she doesn't care about that since there's a hottie in town. She told Tori about him. Rowr.
Out and About
Jaye: Clark hung at the Perk, recognizing Stephen Colbert as that guy who did that thing, and god, it's that Waldo guy again. Jeez, everywhere you look, there he is. Anyway, Lana gave Clark a little hi, Brian and Bond stopped at All and Sundries, and also, there were like seventy people in the park today at all times. Mufasa stalked ducks in the park, Annette took pictures, The Beast watched stuff, Rose jogged, Tess drew, and seriously, where's a good bottle of rum when you need it?
Josh was sullen at customers at Luke's, where Dawn and Eric got to wtf over Rita. ...Please tell me it's Rita Skeeter and she can finish off this broadcast.
C.J.: Victor von Doom - cool name! - was cranky in the park. He warned Cassie about evil, met Sandy, and Bluntman and Chronic did not make friends with him.
Paul Revere warned everyone about Waldo, and Rita rushed through the park, and Annette went doubleeweteeeff, which I don't get.
The Devil's Nest was open, and Tess and Bluntman and Chronic all stopped in.
And Lonnie ran into the Beast, which is a mean thing to call someone! What's wrong with you people?
There were LIONS on the cliffs.
Paul Revere made fun of Josiah's hair, which is mean. Mufa...Muffy taught Simba how to pounce on Kow...Kowsky the penguin, who was ANNOYING.
Lime liked the kitties. He was cute. I liked him. And speaking of me, I was there to watch over the beach!
And Mel went on patrol! That sounds like fun.
Jaye: Bluntman and Chronic um, bummed around? on the roof, and then they fought Sak. Some Venture guy hung at the Perk, and you know, I don't even need booze. Water will do right now. The twins opened Sparky Repairs, where there was Sak and kissing, and also Rita and Casanova checked it out, but there was less kissing and therefore less interesting.
Rita checked out the bank but apparently turned no one into animals, and Cafe Fina is open under new management, with Sam and the Beast showing up. Someone named Mary took a walk through the park, where she talked with Yuki and Suichi, Casanova, Yuuko, and Deadpool. Finally, a name I didn't have to tongue tie over.
Tess drew in the junkyard, Tommy Chong opened the Photo Hut, and Jarod opened the Sin. Where Paul Revere announced that Lana thinks John Crichton is hot, Winnie was impressed with the nice hotel, Six kissed Jarod and Lana hit on him. ...And apparently some bitches have decided they need to be beaten.
C.J.: There was a new doctor in the clinic, along with Waldo, Dawn, Dean and D'anna all visited Buffy before the clinic quieted down at night. Aw, good! Everyone got better!
Jaye: Some guy named Street totally solicited outside JGOB. Hm, you think that wouldn't be legal. And then I think 'brothel' and suddenly I'm less likely to call a cop. Tess asked for directions, but a Peter joined Street and totally made out with him. Peter proved to be quite the kissing ho, too, smacking tongues with Lonnie, Tyler and Bettina. Becky joined the boys all hanging on the corner, and okay, this whole thing was just a whole big kissing slash flirty orgy where I don't think anyone actually had sex. There was the random stuff, like Leoben preaching at Becky and Waldo showing up, hopefully not to hustle, Paul Revere announcing the Six and Jarod thing like HI DO YOU WANT TO GET HURT TOO PAUL? Z, Conner, Layla, Josiah, Eric and Tori all had negative or confused or downright frightened reactions, and really, who can blame them. Zero asked who wanted to be filmed for a documentary-
...Zero, I will not only pay you for footage, I will walk around with my camera all day tomorrow and see if I can't help a little. Seriously.
Alec, Xander, Luke, Doogie- Doogie?- and Tannim all flirt and/or get propositioned against their will, and then there's still John giving his credit card and wallet to hookers and Tim paying Becky for a hug. Dude, Becky hugs?
C.J.: In Cartias, Polecat sat by the stage and appreciated Brian's song, and then Nadia sang.
According to Paul, Critch-ton paid money to a hooker. Hey! Selling yourself is not cool, girls! You don't need to do that to be loved!
JJ talked to Mr. Bluth and Rita, and Mr. Bluth refused to break the law for Critch-ton.
Armand wanted some blood - probably to donate to anemic children, and he ignored Nadia.
Annette bribed Mr. Bluth for a drink and then she chatted with Rita. Bettina also bribed Mr. Bluth for a drink, and guys, Cokes just aren't that expensive. Seriously, Lonnie? Don't sell body for a drink! Those breasts are precious and yours alone. A woman's curves are her own and they are to be treasured!
JJ, Bettina, and Juliet talked with Lonnie, too.Rita talked to Mr. Bluth and Eric, and Jim just got water.
Nadia and Lana and Armand all met Bondjamesbond, which is a weird name. Nadia talked to Mr. Bluth about a gob.
Willow also ordered blood, and then she talked to Nadia about bonding. I think that's what that says. She talked to Armand about vampires, which is just silly because everyone knows those aren't real, and Ex-ander found her and told her that Slayer was outside. Ohmigod, like the band??? I should've gotten them to sign something of mine.
Willow offered to help Juliet through her sadness, and Li...Lia...Lime tried to put the moves on Willow.
Paul announced that Conner beat...uh, Neffy at sword stuff, and -
*sound of horse hooves*
Paul: SKYWALKER SHOWED PETER HIS LIGHTSABER! SKYWALKER SHOWED PETER HIS LIGHTSABER! TOMORROW'S THE DATE, PETER'S SWORD WILL AWAIT, SKYWALKER SHOWED PETER HIS LIGHTSABER!
*sound of hooves retreating*
C.J.: ...anyway, Juliet asked Mr. Bluth for news, and she talked to Lloyd about where they're from.
Nadia and Brian challenged each other, and Brian had to actually pay for his drink, I guess. He talked with Juliet about faithfulness, and Rita got Lime's help with something for tomorrow.
Jaye: Okay, so I think that's it, and if not, I really kind of don't care.
C.J.: *blows whistle* It's not cool to neglect people 'cause you're tired!
Jaye: What did I tell you about that whistle?
C.J.: I am a certified lifeguard. It's my job to blow this whistle.
Jaye: You're not the lifeguard OF THE RADIO STATION.
C.J.: LIFE GUARDING IS A TWENTY-FOUR HOUR JOB
Jaye: Okay, you know what? *sounds like a person possibly getting up in an attempt to forcibly remove a whistle*
C.J.: *blowing of whistle until abruptly cut off* HEY.
Jaye: You'll get it back when I'm less annoyed. Say good night.
C.J.: *poutily* Goodnight.
Jaye: Night, Fandom. Get back to normal soon, dammit.
[Preplayed with the wonderful and lovely![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
keds_champion and chasingsnitches. And I think on behalf of all of us I can safely say DFSUAGHJAUJ;SDRHGJAEHGRA TALK LESS!!!]
Cedric: Cedric Diggory. Quidditch player extraordinaire, outstanding student and all around excellent fellow.
C.J.: *blows whistle* I'm C.J. Parker, a lifeguard for the Los Angeles County beaches.
Jaye: Yeah, sure. Also, you blow that whistle in here again and I'll shove it up your nose.
C.J.: That would be a violation of the law.
Jaye: ...And?
C.J.: You could be arrested.
Jaye: ...And?
Cedric: Why don't I just do this broadcast since my melodious tones will soothe listeners and make them feel safe at the same time?
Jaye: Wow. That's... special.
Cedric: Thank you, I know.
Edumacation
Jaye: Over in detention today, Cally, Katara, someone named Jason Kevin Valentine, Liam, Princess Nefer-something, Pretty Sam, Kowalski the... penguin. Okay. The Madri, Blair, and a turtle all had detention with Ares. Who is the God of Love. I want pictures from someone.
C.J.: That's what happens when you don't respect the rules. Or nature. Or the rules of nature.
Cedric: I've never had detention in my entire life. I'm far too good to be associated with those that walk dark paths in dark light with dark hopes and dreams.
Jaye: Wow. I mean, just... wow.
Cedric: Try to keep your excitement over me at a bare minimum while I'm here. I do not want drool on my clothing.
Living Conditions
Cedric: In news that is not related to me, Liam wondered why Door wasn't in his bed. Perhaps because he was a little too soft around the waist? I could show you a fix for that, Liam. A rather hairy man wakes up and fights with Sam, Juliet and Tori wake up, and Kowalski the penguin waddles off. And all of this was extremely boring compared to the time when I single handledly saved Finland from Dementors.
C.J.: That's nothing. I battled an alligator and a shark and a giant octopus and a giant squid all in the same day. My old beach was a dangerous place, and the ocean can be a terrible mistress. But in on-shore news, Street was pissed when he woke up, , Tess drew some pictures, Henry had a feeling of dread, and Lana gave Jim a wakeup call he wouldn't forget. Hope you used protection, kids. A moment of fun can mean eighteen years of bills and diapers! And girls, you don't HAVE to look as perfect as me or act skanky to get a man to love you. Girl power!
Jaye: Phoebe was pissed to wake up with Bel. Must have missed that fight on the radio. Lloyd woke up determined to ask Diane out. Congratulations, Lloyd! Who the hell are you and who's Diane? Hermione was serenaded by some Frederic guy and talked to Rikku about treasure.
Cedric: Peter Pevensie, a rather fine looking fellow, woke up hungover. Then, he and Cedric Diggory did some...talking of a different nature
Jaye: Are you talking about yourself in third person?
Cedric: Do not interrupt Cedric Diggory again.
C.J.: *blows whistle*
Jaye: Oh my god.
Cedric: Cedric Diggory demands that shrill instrument be properly removed. Tim and Dick wake up, Sandy wakes up hungover, Pip and Sandy are snuggly and wouldn't everyone rather hear about Cedric Diggory's fight to free England from the oppression of coffee?
C.J.: Brian tried to remember the name of the girl he woke up with - hey, drinking and drugs aren't cool! Don't give in to peer pressure, kids! Nadia told Al that Walter has gone crazy, which isn't very nice, and Leo...Lobe...Leobean and Six got along and talked about their mission, while Tom fought with Dawn. Awww, I hope they make up!
Jaye: Yeah, sure. Dean came by to yell at whoever Tom is for being a dork. You tell 'im, Dean. Cedric Diggory approved of the day, and he and Hermione had a... talk? or something? And then he decided he didn't feel the need to help Pretty Sam with the beast thing. Nice going.
Cedric: Did Cedric Diggory give you permission to speak of his exceptional personal life?
Jaye: The squirrels did.
Cedric: Relatives of yours, Cedric Diggory is sure
C.J.: Squirrels are like Mother Nature's most helpful messengers. Like seagulls, only with poofy tails and on land.
Jaye: The bleach has soaked into your brain, princess. Becky did her makeup, Six woke up and this is news, Willow and Pole... Po... Polecat made out, and then Alec hit on them both. This is unsurprising.
Cedric: Nef..Hef...Someone and Layla go to detention. Really, have readable names so Cedric Diggory can pronounce them. A turtle is exploring, Heidi wakes up annoyed, Eric wakes up confused due to the presence of a woman in his bed. Perhaps Jaye should fetch Cedric Diggory breakfast as well.
Jaye: Perhaps Cedric Diggory should bite Jaye Tyler's ass, not dirty.
C.J. Cedric, brush your teeth after. Oral hygiene is important.
Cedric: Cedric Diggory's oral hygeine is pristine. Cedric Diggorys' teeth are the color of newly fallen snow.
C.J.: Chad and Justin had an interesting wake up call, which I think means that they got woken up like I did during lifeguard training camp - with the sun kissing their faces and a whistle in their ear before a brisk run on the salty, bright beach. Chris ordered Summer to get him breakfast. Chris! That is no way to treat the best season of all. I mean, you can order around winter and autumn and sometimes spring, but summer is, like, sacred. And Zuko was confusingly nice. Zuko, it takes more muscles to frown than to smile. Try to keep that in mind, and then it won't be confusing when you're always nice.
Jaye: Pretty Sam couldn't get Lonnie to be any damn help, Bettina and Captain Crichton- oh-kay- weren't happy waking up together. Morning breath? Sam worked in the garage and talked to The Beast and Leobanana, and The Beast accused him of not being a person. ...Says The Beast.
Cedric: Compared to me, everyone is rather beastly. Setsuna poses cutely, Jeremiah checks his email, Alec wakes up and goes to look for fun, Wyatt is cranky, and then TK's Tannim's lamp into a wall. Such a place of violence. Cedric Diggory supports peace.
C.J.: Chris and Wyatt decided to wreak havoc together, and first of all, who is Havoc and why are they...wreaking her together, and second - wear condoms everyone! Safe sex is still fun for everyone! Anyway, Rikku decided to go on a treasure hunt, and I hope she has a metal detector because sometimes I saw old guys with those at the beach where I saved lives, and they found ZILLIONS. And, um, some guy woke up with a naked boy on his shin.
Jaye: That sounds... interesting. Casanova woke up, Katara and Zuko expressed their love... I always hoped you two crazy kids would get it together. Look, I'm just happy I recognize names. D'Anna heard about Buffy's attack, and Simba looked for food. I say start with the emo girl.
Cedric: Jaye, stop looking at Cedric Diggory like that. As beautiful as I am, you cannot have me. Alas, no one can.
Jaye: ...Okay yeah sure. Somehow I'll find the will to go on.
Cedric: Naruto wakes up and screams. Kabuto and Armand both tell him to cease the noise. Hopefully Naturo, unlike CJ, listens. Hel wakes up in bed with John Winchester. Cedric Diggory really did not need to know about that. Really. Dr. Orpheus drinks tea and then chats to Jonas Venture Jr. Cedric Diggory does not know if the chat was one of happiness or sadness. Armand wakes up.Naruto wakes up and screams. Kabuto and Armand both tell him to cease the noise. Hel wakes up in bed with John Winchester. Cedric Diggory really did not need to know about that. Really. Dr. Orpheus drinks tea and then chats to Jonas Venture Jr. Cedric Diggory does not know if the chat was one of happiness or sadness. Armand wakes up. And then goes back to sleep. Very impressive. Almost Jaye like. Waldo is in his living room but he's hard to see. Mufasa destorys a sphere and Cedric Diggory is sure CJ will object to that. Stephen Colbert wakes up and makes breakfast. Waldo is in his apartment which is creepy to Cedric Diggory. Captain Liberty comes to Stephen's apartment to borrow some milk. Wilson discovers he's sleeping with someone called James Bond. He sounds vaguely like currency. Xander drinks whiskey in the moring, Chrono discovers someone called Mary Magdeline, Winnie makes her bed, and Captain Morgan surveys his domain. And Cedric Diggory has become bored with you all. Therefore, I'm leaving to go do my hair. Goodbye.
Jaye: Um. Cedric Diggory has left the building. Up in the fourth floor common room, Henry did homework. He's cool. He made me eggs. Sak defeated his homework and hey, even if you are on drugs, that's a useful talent to have. Henry and Sak both asked Mac how Cally is, but Sak totally kissed Mac. I'm not going to question the thought process there. Apparently someone named Heidi said she wanted to go back to New Jersey, but I talked to her and that little psych-ho is totally Kaylee.
C.J.: So okay in the gym, some guy worked out his shin muscles, which are like, the most important muscles. Go, you!
In the second floor common room, there was breakfast, the most important meal of the day! Zero showed up - hey, girl, you are not a zero! You're a ten! Girl power! Anyway, she greeted D, talked to that skanky bitch Hermy-one, and filmed Spider-Ham, Rita, meeeee, Simba, and Juliet, and talked to Jake about editing. I love movies, and I look great on camera. Make sure you keep me in there lots, Girl With Low Self-Esteem!
Hermy-one, uh, didn't speak English at D'anna, and Rita was looking for a spare boy before Billy introduced himself.
Spider-Ham, who saves people - hey, fellow life-saver! - and doesn't smoke - JUST SAY NO, KIDS - met Molly, who went to see Buffy in the clinic with D.
Oh, and Hermy-one is a skanky bitch ho and her hair isn't as nice as mine.
So anyway Simba learned about Elvis, met Juliet, Rita and Tannim, and Ir...Iru...Iran was really confused. Hey, just pay attention and you can catch up quick!
Jaye: Yeah huh. In the fifth floor CR, Bel treated everyone to healthy snacks. I'm so glad I had Henry make me food. And I'm sure CJ would say something about like, yay raisins or something. Sandy worried about her boyfriend, and Al checked up on her. She also found out Pip groped her due to mistaken identity. I could see that happening since I DON'T KNOW HALF OF YOU PEOPLE. Brian met Bel, who is in charge of love and happiness or something. Jeremiah is wary. I can't blame him.
You know what, maybe I'm on drugs. Pam, wherever you are, I might not have been kidding about the LSD in the water thing.
Brian ignored Sandy, told Annette he'd rather be called Sneakerfight, and then Nadia made herself his babysitter. Schrodinger just doesn't know who the guy is. Nadia and Al got their pockets picked, Dick is all yay with the acrobatic skills, I would love some alcohol right now, Billy asked Annette if she was spying on him, and Summer tried to tell Jeremiah he's her boyfriend. That's so no way to land a guy, Summer, but I admire your chops.
Sokka couldn't get Bel to change the channel, and apparently Bel is an agent for the Source of All Good. Well, that's... good, or something. I have no clue. You people talk too damn much. Alec hit on Annette, Summer decided Bel's food caused the weirdness that is today, and complained about it to Alec and Billy. Nadia couldn't get alcohol or answers out of Bel, and she and Annette were very happy to be normal. I'm really happy to know you're both normal, oh-em-gee. Summer thought Chris' hair is demonic, Nadia found out Alec is a sex fiend and um, have we listened to the radio for a while? She and Billy figured out that Walter was in the common room with them, and some Waldo guy looked for food. Apparently Bel's wasn't good enough. Oops.
C.J.: Nef...Neffy played with knives in the sally, and she wasn't wearing anything protective. Boys and girls, don't do that! That's a good way to lose an eye! Conner sparred with her, and so did Tyler. And Henry was very polite to Neffy.
Dick - heeheehee - hid in a tree. He thought Annette was EVIL, and he helped Sandy find her boyfriend.
Wade mocked Dick's nipples, which is just mean. Just because your breasts are different or your nipples all...protrudey...doesn't mean that anyone has the right to make fun of you in any way! No one should make you feel insignificant, especially when it comes to boobs.
Dick escorted Rita to town, and Josh told him that boredom is dangerous. And Dick told Tori that he's a superhero.
Paul Revere announced that Cassie and Victor von Doom didn't fight in the park, and Zero accused Dick of accosting Rita. Rikku found treasure in Zero's pockets, and Dick stopped Tannim on his way out. But
Kabooty didn't get stopped.
In the third floor common room, Josiah was a big grumpypants. He met Justin, who was interviewed by Zero and Cassie didn't get why Justin didn't know this von Doom guy. Well, maybe they just haven't met. It's not really a big deal.
Paul Revere told everyone that Rita was accosted in her underwear, and Josiah thought that Zero was a goddess or something.
Tori was also a grumpypants in another common room, and she and Connerdecided that everyone's gone nuts. Hey, don't judge what you don't know! Cassie's got the right idea, since she doesn't care about that since there's a hottie in town. She told Tori about him. Rowr.
Out and About
Jaye: Clark hung at the Perk, recognizing Stephen Colbert as that guy who did that thing, and god, it's that Waldo guy again. Jeez, everywhere you look, there he is. Anyway, Lana gave Clark a little hi, Brian and Bond stopped at All and Sundries, and also, there were like seventy people in the park today at all times. Mufasa stalked ducks in the park, Annette took pictures, The Beast watched stuff, Rose jogged, Tess drew, and seriously, where's a good bottle of rum when you need it?
Josh was sullen at customers at Luke's, where Dawn and Eric got to wtf over Rita. ...Please tell me it's Rita Skeeter and she can finish off this broadcast.
C.J.: Victor von Doom - cool name! - was cranky in the park. He warned Cassie about evil, met Sandy, and Bluntman and Chronic did not make friends with him.
Paul Revere warned everyone about Waldo, and Rita rushed through the park, and Annette went doubleeweteeeff, which I don't get.
The Devil's Nest was open, and Tess and Bluntman and Chronic all stopped in.
And Lonnie ran into the Beast, which is a mean thing to call someone! What's wrong with you people?
There were LIONS on the cliffs.
Paul Revere made fun of Josiah's hair, which is mean. Mufa...Muffy taught Simba how to pounce on Kow...Kowsky the penguin, who was ANNOYING.
Lime liked the kitties. He was cute. I liked him. And speaking of me, I was there to watch over the beach!
And Mel went on patrol! That sounds like fun.
Jaye: Bluntman and Chronic um, bummed around? on the roof, and then they fought Sak. Some Venture guy hung at the Perk, and you know, I don't even need booze. Water will do right now. The twins opened Sparky Repairs, where there was Sak and kissing, and also Rita and Casanova checked it out, but there was less kissing and therefore less interesting.
Rita checked out the bank but apparently turned no one into animals, and Cafe Fina is open under new management, with Sam and the Beast showing up. Someone named Mary took a walk through the park, where she talked with Yuki and Suichi, Casanova, Yuuko, and Deadpool. Finally, a name I didn't have to tongue tie over.
Tess drew in the junkyard, Tommy Chong opened the Photo Hut, and Jarod opened the Sin. Where Paul Revere announced that Lana thinks John Crichton is hot, Winnie was impressed with the nice hotel, Six kissed Jarod and Lana hit on him. ...And apparently some bitches have decided they need to be beaten.
C.J.: There was a new doctor in the clinic, along with Waldo, Dawn, Dean and D'anna all visited Buffy before the clinic quieted down at night. Aw, good! Everyone got better!
Jaye: Some guy named Street totally solicited outside JGOB. Hm, you think that wouldn't be legal. And then I think 'brothel' and suddenly I'm less likely to call a cop. Tess asked for directions, but a Peter joined Street and totally made out with him. Peter proved to be quite the kissing ho, too, smacking tongues with Lonnie, Tyler and Bettina. Becky joined the boys all hanging on the corner, and okay, this whole thing was just a whole big kissing slash flirty orgy where I don't think anyone actually had sex. There was the random stuff, like Leoben preaching at Becky and Waldo showing up, hopefully not to hustle, Paul Revere announcing the Six and Jarod thing like HI DO YOU WANT TO GET HURT TOO PAUL? Z, Conner, Layla, Josiah, Eric and Tori all had negative or confused or downright frightened reactions, and really, who can blame them. Zero asked who wanted to be filmed for a documentary-
...Zero, I will not only pay you for footage, I will walk around with my camera all day tomorrow and see if I can't help a little. Seriously.
Alec, Xander, Luke, Doogie- Doogie?- and Tannim all flirt and/or get propositioned against their will, and then there's still John giving his credit card and wallet to hookers and Tim paying Becky for a hug. Dude, Becky hugs?
C.J.: In Cartias, Polecat sat by the stage and appreciated Brian's song, and then Nadia sang.
According to Paul, Critch-ton paid money to a hooker. Hey! Selling yourself is not cool, girls! You don't need to do that to be loved!
JJ talked to Mr. Bluth and Rita, and Mr. Bluth refused to break the law for Critch-ton.
Armand wanted some blood - probably to donate to anemic children, and he ignored Nadia.
Annette bribed Mr. Bluth for a drink and then she chatted with Rita. Bettina also bribed Mr. Bluth for a drink, and guys, Cokes just aren't that expensive. Seriously, Lonnie? Don't sell body for a drink! Those breasts are precious and yours alone. A woman's curves are her own and they are to be treasured!
JJ, Bettina, and Juliet talked with Lonnie, too.Rita talked to Mr. Bluth and Eric, and Jim just got water.
Nadia and Lana and Armand all met Bondjamesbond, which is a weird name. Nadia talked to Mr. Bluth about a gob.
Willow also ordered blood, and then she talked to Nadia about bonding. I think that's what that says. She talked to Armand about vampires, which is just silly because everyone knows those aren't real, and Ex-ander found her and told her that Slayer was outside. Ohmigod, like the band??? I should've gotten them to sign something of mine.
Willow offered to help Juliet through her sadness, and Li...Lia...Lime tried to put the moves on Willow.
Paul announced that Conner beat...uh, Neffy at sword stuff, and -
*sound of horse hooves*
Paul: SKYWALKER SHOWED PETER HIS LIGHTSABER! SKYWALKER SHOWED PETER HIS LIGHTSABER! TOMORROW'S THE DATE, PETER'S SWORD WILL AWAIT, SKYWALKER SHOWED PETER HIS LIGHTSABER!
*sound of hooves retreating*
C.J.: ...anyway, Juliet asked Mr. Bluth for news, and she talked to Lloyd about where they're from.
Nadia and Brian challenged each other, and Brian had to actually pay for his drink, I guess. He talked with Juliet about faithfulness, and Rita got Lime's help with something for tomorrow.
Jaye: Okay, so I think that's it, and if not, I really kind of don't care.
C.J.: *blows whistle* It's not cool to neglect people 'cause you're tired!
Jaye: What did I tell you about that whistle?
C.J.: I am a certified lifeguard. It's my job to blow this whistle.
Jaye: You're not the lifeguard OF THE RADIO STATION.
C.J.: LIFE GUARDING IS A TWENTY-FOUR HOUR JOB
Jaye: Okay, you know what? *sounds like a person possibly getting up in an attempt to forcibly remove a whistle*
C.J.: *blowing of whistle until abruptly cut off* HEY.
Jaye: You'll get it back when I'm less annoyed. Say good night.
C.J.: *poutily* Goodnight.
Jaye: Night, Fandom. Get back to normal soon, dammit.
[Preplayed with the wonderful and lovely
keds_champion and chasingsnitches. And I think on behalf of all of us I can safely say DFSUAGHJAUJ;SDRHGJAEHGRA TALK LESS!!!]
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*snuggles and leaves pie*]
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