Fandom Radio, Friday, July 7, 2006

[demonbelthazor]

BEL: In a fit of insanity, Veronica asked me to cover the radio tonight. She's busy getting lucky.

WILLOW: She is? I had no idea the local prison let the inmates out today.

MARIE: She's not going to hear this right?

WILLOW: Hopefully none of us are going to hear her.

BEL: She did mention something about downloading the podcasts, but hopefully (for her sake) she'll be too busy basking in the afterglow.

MARIE: EW.

WILLOW: Bel! Some of us want to retain our will to live!

BEL: What? If she's gonna get some, more power to her. Archie'll be a happy man.

WILLOW: Are we sure he's human? Um, no offense, Bel.

BEL: I do know he's not a demon.

MARIE: Can we stop talking about Veronica's sex life and start the news?

WILLOW: Can we stop talking about Veronia's sex life, you know, ever?

BEL: Sure, where should we start?



The Last Day of Workshops

MARIE: Flight and Flying went hang-gliding off a cliff and now I’m starting to wonder if I made a mistake in signing up for that workshop.

BEL: It was fun. And if Anakin gives you any grief, just mention Padme and he'll turn red and leave you alone.

MARIE: Okay. Well, Aeryn and Rory both survived their jumps and were chatting afterwards though, so maybe it wasn’t too scary.

MARIE: Things to Do at the Beach went sailing through an obstacle course. Isabel and Archie paired up and Parker challenged them to a race. Pippi and Molly wanted in on the action too. And it doesn't say who won!

MARIE: Applied Dadaism presented their own Dada games. And I have to confess that I still don’t really understand that workshop at all. Oh, and it says here that some named Das Schnitzel opened the cafeteria but no one ate there today. Who's Das Schnitzel?

WILLOW: A bad cook, apparently.

Dorms: That place where we live until we get shuffled off to the cabins again

BEL: Now for the daily report of who is waking up with whom. Sadly, nothing sordid to report.

BEL: Very early in the morning, River gives Berthold a blanket. He gets bored and goes for a slither.

WILLOW: Um - are you sure there's nothing sordid to report?

BEL: Well, there were tentacles involved.

WILLOW: Oh god. And I wore a skirt again.

BEL: Me and Tim give him ice cream, and he makes friends with Mr. Neilson. Sakurazaki leaves Jude a note before leaving town. Bye, Setsuna! Meanwhile, Nadia's up on the roof, trying to get rid of a hangover, and she and Pippi worry about Walter. What is it with girls worrying about their boys so much?

MARIE: It's totally normal for girls to worry about boys. And how they should act around them. And what they should wear. And say. And be afraid they're going to make a fool of themself.

WILLOW: You'll be fine.

BEL: Got a hot date?

WILLOW: She might. With somebody who'd better treat her like a princess if he doesn't want a protective witch hexing his behind into the middle of next Thursday.

BEL: Or a demon who will kick his ass.

WILLOW: Wait your turn.

MARIE: This is such a bad idea.

WILLOW: You'll be fine!

BEL: Congrats on finding one of the few non-taken non-gay men in Fandom. Anyway, in the fifth floor common room, Demyx watches TV, then talks to Pip and Pippi about Disneyland. Meanwhile, Pip's cat Merebaise prowls the halls. He meets Furrball and Mr. Neilson and Tim, who later would be found in the third floor common room watching girlkissy. Upon on the roof, Nadia and Pippi play with their ball. Elsewhere, John rearranges the furniture in his room then pretends to sleep. Until Aeryn licks his ear. That'd wake me up. Sir Peter returns to Fandom and for some reason, Willow is terribly happy about this.

WILLOW: Not terrible! There is no terrible! There is only good and feelings of happy dancing butterflies in my - oh. These mikes just don't turn off, do they? Ahem.

MARIE: It's okay! That is a very good reason to be happy.

WILLOW: It's a very, very good reason to be happy.

BEL: We don't have to worry about you losing your soul, do we?

WILLOW: Do I look like I'm wearing a corset?

BEL: ...corset?

MARIE: What are you two talking about?

WILLOW: Nothing!

BEL: I'm in my happy place. Er, I mean, anyway.... Sakurazaki and Ranma, on the other hand, head out of town. Nadia and Cally get changed for the party. And probably kiss. Sawyer hangs out in his room alone. And Parker shows up at Janet's room before the party and...flashes her or something. There's a trenchcoat involved.

That place with the bar. And the brothel. And other stuff.

BEL: Over in town, River and Tyler have a movie date at the theater. Lana opens up the bookstore, and Jenny is at the Perk. She talks to Susan, Willow, Xander, and Tim, who is everywhere today.

WILLOW: Have a safe trip, Jenny!

BEL: Cally and Nadia go costume shopping at All and Sundries. And kiss.

WILLOW: Ew. I thought Nadia had taste.

BEL: And Parker surprises Jarod at the Sin before the party. Tommy opens the clinic in the morning, while the Arms Hotel welcomes new staff. And Dr Pevensie and Peter Pevensie talk about Peter's trip home.

WILLOW: And back. Because he came back. Which is a very good thing.

BEL: I told you he would. And now Willow's blushing. And Marie is hugging her. It's so sweet.

MARIE: Quit rolling your eyes.

WILLOW: And why are you staring at us hug?

BEL: ... no reason.


Showing off talents other than boykissy

WILLOW: Today we had Fandom High's first ever Talent Show! Or it's the first that I know of. There may have been others. I don't mean to assume. The audience was hopping. Not literally. There were seats and everyone was very polite and did not interrupt anyone else's field of vision by constantly getting up and down or wearing large hats. Or having Angel hair. I talked with Bel and Anders. Oh - Peter? The English one? If you're listening, Bel totally agrees with me that you need to have plans in case of attack by rabid hampsters with teamwork and screwdrivers. Our vote is for some kind of blocking spell, right, Bel?

BEL: Or a healthy supply of toothpicks.

WILLOW: Also in the audience was Conner who was there to support Marie - yay Marie!

MARIE: Thanks.

BEL: Now she's blushing. Is it time for another hug?

WILLOW: [sound of her thwapping Bel] You don't have to report everything! Just what it says in the notes!

BEL: All right, then let's get past the chick flick moment and get on with the news.

WILLOW: John who, according to my notes, was in the audience for so long that he actually showed up yesterday with a sleeping bag and the whole Deadhead groupie thing going except for no bag and I actually don't remember the auditorium smelling anything like oregano. Chloe threw popcorn at Cute Sam. I'm assuming Cute Sam ducked, though the notes don't mention it so feel free to imagine Cute Sam catching the popcorn in his mouth and then doing a dance of joy at his accomplishment, as well he should.

BEL: I'd rather not.

WILLOW: Peter Parker was also in the audience almost as long as John was, though this does raise the question of when Mr. Parker finds time to be loyal to his girlfriend which I'm sure he was doing, right?. Tyler, Aeryn, and Piper were there. Draco and Pippi thoughtfully brought cameras. And Gwynn and Bridge earned their good deed badges for the day by saving seats for Tim and Xander respectively. Bridge also earns a Willow gold star of approval for this, which can be redeemed for cookies the next time I make them.

MARIE: Oh! I want Willow cookies, too!

BEL: With or without goat's blood?

WILLOW: I'm still working on that.

MARIE: EW

WILLOW: Oh, not for you! You can have chocolate chip.

MARIE: Okay, thanks.

BEL: Snickerdoodles are made with people, you know.

WILLOW: They are not! I made them in Piper's class. No people were harmed in the baking of those cookies.

MARIE: I signed up for that workshop next session.

BEL: ...

MARIE: What?

BEL: [sound of Bel mumbling something.]

MARIE: I didn't quite make that out. Did you understand him, Willow?

WILLOW: Maybe if he spoke into the microphone? And stopped popping his Ps so much?

BEL: I'm signed up for it, too, okay? Want to make something of it?

MARIE: Oh yay! It'll be fun to have a workshop together!

WILLOW: Mr. GOB, who should totally put a dance floor in at Caritas and everyone should remind him about this then next time they see him, started the show with a few magic tricks. My notes mention that we should all be grateful he didn't include the one where his pants disappear. Oh gross! Then there were performances! The Andrews Sisters, Phoebe, Joxer, Kawalsky, Nadia, Peter who is neither English nor a Parker, and Marie all sang songs. And not to make anybody feel bad or anything but Marie so totally owned the singing portion of the show.

MARIE: Everyone was really good.

WILLOW: You were better.

BEL: Phoebe was the best.

WILLOW: But the audience liked all the songs anyway. Cordelia did not sing, which we're all grateful for. And Jamie did the grand finale to the joy of all. Or all the people that I care to mention. If you don't like Jamie you don't know what you're missing! Not that I'm thinking of anybody in particular here. Ahem.

MARIE: Jamie was hysterical! If you didn't laugh, then something is wrong with you.

WILLOW: After the show Marie met her adoring fans.

MARIE: [*sound of meeping*]

BEL: And again with the blushing.

WILLOW: [sound of her thwapping him again]

MARIE: I have the best roomie ever.

WILLOW: Want me to kick him too?

BEL: Move that foot and I'll forget I'm a good guy now.

WILLOW: I'll sic my orbs on you, buddy. Don't think I won't.

BEL: You have orbs?

WILLOW: Oh yeah. Just ask Angel.

MARIE: Are you guys done?

BEL: As long as ninja witch here keeps her hands and feet to herself.

WILLOW: [far too innocently] No problem. John asked non-English-nor-Parker Peter if he's thought about going pro. Which I'm going to assume was not sexually related. Though if it is? You should totally talk to Becky. Apparently she's hiring.
Um - so I've heard. Nadia, Joxer, and Phoebe are also given kudos by adoring fans.

BEL: Go Phoebe!

WILLOW: And Cordy is congratulated by those who were deaf, blind, and clearly not even in the auditorium during her performance to begin with. Oh! Or people who think today is Opposite day. In which case yes, Cordy did great.

Happy Birthday, Jarod

MARIE: Even though I don’t think I ever met you. Everyone else apparently has though, and showed up at Caritas for Jarod’s birthday party. Nadia and Cally got drunk and may have discussed hooking Cally up.

WILLOW: To something electric and painful, maybe?

MARIE: Pippi got Nadia on stage and they both complimented Tim on his costume. Parker and Cally compliment Callisto, apparently on not killing John. Isabel talked to Nadia about workshops and cartoons, Parker about costumes, and Tim about the talent show. Isabel also caught up with Cally, was complimented by Elliot on her costume, was adorable with Greg, whom she thanked Callisto for not killing and what is it with this girl? Is she some kind of homicidal maniac? And if she is, why is she allowed on the streets?

BEL: Seras and Nadia talk about costumes and witches.

WILLOW: I hope not costumes of witches because those just perpetuate very nasty stereotypes.

BEL: Cally and Seras meet. Seras plays with Tim's braids, then she talks to Pippi about weekend plans. Aeryn compliments Greg on not dying, which is always a plus. Callisto prepares Rory for her workshop. [Pause] By stripping her naked? Tim tries to buy Rory and Becky drinks, but apparently is shot down.

BEL: [Long pause.] The notes...they say that...Callisto and Becky were making out. Please tell me someone got pictures.

MARIE: Why would you want pictures of that?

WILLOW: Why would anyone in their right mind want to kiss Callisto?

BEL: I'm sorry, did you two say something? Becky, when her lips aren't locked on Callisto's, has a conversation with Elliot. And Parker sees Becky in color. GOB is a banana, and Tim chokes. My notes say that's not dirty, but I'm not buying it. GOB compliments Nadia on the talent show and meets Seras and talks about stabbings and stuff. Always good conversation. Now, the notes say that GOB and Becky are GOB and Becky at each other, whatever that means, and GOB checks up on Sawyer.

BEL: John and Aeryn talk about Vladdiesitting and the talent show. Parker tells Aeryn to meet Jarod, and Callisto and Aeryn think their costumes aren't them. Pippi compliments Sawyer's costume, Parker meets Sawyer, and Sawyer boggles at Tim's costume. Parker and John talk about costumes past, then Sawyer teases John about wearing pink.

MARIE: What's wrong with wearing pink? I like pink. Should I not wear pink tomorrow?

WILLOW: Maybe Sawyer had on the same outfit?

MARIE: Well at least I don't have to worry about that.

WILLOW: Yeah. Your hips are nowhere near as big as John's are.

BEL: Are you done? Elliot asks Parker about her and Jarod, and Elliot and Isabel talk about doctors. Becky gets Alec to dance onstage, while Callisto and Alec tease each other about their costumes. Considering the only costume I could find, I'm glad I didn't go. Cally and Nadia compliment Parker's costume, and , I quote, "Parker and Jarod are cute." Can you call Parker cute and live?

WILLOW: Can you call Parker cute and not be immediately handed a dictionary? Cally wishes Jarod a happy birthday. At which point I hope he washed his hands and hopefully got some antibiotics as a birthday present. Pippi and Jarod talk about workshops, and if you ask me the only thing more fun than that would be talking about classes and grades. Which we should SO GET for this summer, seriously!

WILLOW: Jarod guesses Nadia's costume and I haven't seen it or anything but I'm going to guess she was dressed as a paperclip. She seems very creative and I bet she's got the imagination to be able to pull that off. Tim meets Mr. Birthday Boy and undoubtedly finds him to be as nice and helpful as I have. Isabel and Jarod talk about Parker and Greg. My guess on the topic? "One of these things is so insanely not like the other, OMG." Jarod asks Callisto about the wig and I knew she wasn't a natural blonde! I just knew it!

MARIE: Don't say that! She might try to kill you!

WILLOW: GOB and Jarod talk about future Caritas plans - like building a dance floor? And about how Becky doesn't want to have sex with GOB tonight. Gee, I wonder if it's because there's no way at all for her to do any club-inspired dancing in order to get into the mood? That's one for all of us to ponder. Finally, Nadia, Seras, and Pippi all sang while Alec did a little dance. The notes don't clarify, but since this is Alec I'm sure this then led to making a little love and definitely some getting down tonight. My guess? With half the school. Or possibly anyone ambulatory.

MARIE: Except us!

BEL: So how badly is Veronica going to regret giving me the radio tonight?

WILLOW: On a scale of one to ten? It was nice knowing you.

MARIE: Maybe you could steal the batteries from her taser so she doesn't hurt any of us?

BEL: I'm counting on the too satisfied to care.

WILLOW and MARIE: [in unison] Again with the ew.

BEL: So that's Fandom Radio for tonight, brought to you by Veronica's sex life.

MARIE: And Bel's apparent death wish.

BEL: I like to live dangerously.

WILLOW: You know, I had perfectly nice memories of smoochies until you Veronicaed all over them.

BEL: Then go be be-smooched with Peter.

MARIE: I think I'm going to take a shower when we get back.

WILLOW: [embarassed cough] And I'm... going to do something productive. And wholesome. Possibly with books.

BEL: I'm going to go sleep with my girlfriend.

WILLOW: What about the expression on my face suggests that I want that level of detail?

MARIE: TMI! Let's just say good night.

BEL: Good night, Fandom!

WILLOW: Good night, Fandom!

MARIE: Good night!