Fandom Sports Radio, June 29

[connernotconnor.livejournal.com]

CONNER: Hey, everybody! Welcome to another edition of Sports Night on Fandom Radio! This is Conner with an E-R McKnight and Anders who still won't tell me his first name, and we're filling in for Bridge Carson tonight because, um, because.

ANDERS: We actually have no idea where he is. But anyway.

CONNER: Hey, you know, if Bridge was here we could be A --

ANDERS: Don't go there, man.

CONNER: Okay, okay, touchy, geez. Anyway, here's today's scores and game recap.

Learning the Fundamentals

ANDERS: Sex Ed did some interesting stuff today.

CONNER: Isn't that class sort of always interesting by default? I mean, look at the subject matter. And the teacher. She's hot in a black-and-white kind of way. They learned about erogenous zones, which are nothing like ESPN Zone restaurants.

ANDERS: No, really? That was lame.

CONNER: I bet the hands-on experimenting wasn't lame, though. That's like, a scrimmage in practice. Not quite an actual league game, but you sort of get the feel for things without it actually going on your record, and --

ANDERS: You know, sometimes the metaphor can go too far. I'm just saying. Wonder if Dean and Alec have the same erogenous zones?

CONNER: I'm trying not to think about that one too much.

ANDERS: Good. You might sprain something.

CONNER: Shut up. Anyway, Wilderness Survival got to learn about snares and pit traps today. Some of them went barefoot and made traps and the rest of them got to keep their shoes but had to scout for traps. Hope they had fun with the ones Callisto set up in the woods for them late last night.

ANDERS: I bet Buffy, Parker, and Aeryn didn't, since they fell into pits. Or Joxer, who got stuck hanging upside down. All the blood rushes to your head that way, and not in a good way.

CONNER: Sucks to be Buffy, too, since Alec also did the upside-down thing. Aeryn rescued him, but he ended up landing on Buffy.

ANDERS: Hey, it's Alec. Maybe it didn't suck to be Buffy.

CONNER: Good point. In, um, Yogalaties, Blair took Lana and Phoebe through some poses and exercises, and helped Lana deal with her ghost.

ANDERS: Frak, she's got a ghost too? That is not a cool trend to try and spread, people. Seriously.

CONNER: You were in Leadership and Outdoorsmanship this morning, weren't you? How'd that go?

ANDERS: We learned about guns. That was pretty interesting, even if me and Pevensie were kind of nervous about it at first. But Professor Harrington is way cool and helped us out with that.

CONNER: What does that -- let me see those notes! *sounds of a brief scuffle* Bel talked to Pippi and Dean about ghosts and was waving his gun around, which is not safe sportsmanship even if you are being haunted, and that got him detention. And Dean and Pip were discussing weapons.

ANDERS: Which is kind of . . . okay, Dean looking at guns is kind of like you when your eyes glaze over. Pip was pretty happy about it too. Pippi, on the other hand, kinda kicks ass with both throwing dart things and with an assault rifle.

CONNER: Peter Parker isn't a gun kind of guy. Can't say I blame him. My roommate Tim wasn't too comfortable with them either.

ANDERS: And then there was Nature and Nature Magic, where they meditated and did vision quests.

CONNER: The hiking from last week sounded more sports-like. But they did pair off to work. There was Team Blair and Lana, Team Willow and the Xander Who Isn't Dating Your Best Friend, Team Dawn and Luna, and Team Tim. Go roomie! The one-man vision quest machine!

ANDERS: Oh, you did not just say that. But, uh, the library was open today. During summer? Seriously? Professor Wagner and Phoebe talked about group hauntings, and then Phoebe did research with Piper. . . . yeah. 'kay. Moving on.

CONNER: More action to talk about. The fun kind. But first, your nutrition PSA. Tempe and Sakurazaki were in the cafeteria today, but it doesn't say if anyone else was. People, eating is good for you.

Partying In The Team Hotel

ANDERS: So Tyler was watching TV in the third floor common room this morning and talked to you about ghosts. There was coffee? You didn't bring me any?

CONNER: You were in class. Shut up. River was talking to Tyler's ghost, but she talked to Tyler too so it's all good. Because that would be kind of rude, to ignore him for the ghost, you know? It's been following him around, like he told Jamie. Zack didn't believe in ghosts, but I guess he does now!

ANDERS: Sam, that is Winchester Sam, doesn't believe in being naked in Wilderness Survival. Good thing they weren't. And Harkness said goodbye to Cedric before leaving on a trip. And then . . .

CONNER: I got that one, man. Veronica sent email and was talking to Cally this morning, and then fell asleep in Archie's room tonight. Rory and Nadia sent email out today, too, and continuing the trend of communication, which is awesome and keeps you and your teammates from completely screwing up plays, Isabel made a phone call to Phoebe.

ANDERS: Jamie got a package and talked about it with Nadia. Maybe a mutant detector is exercise equipment? It probably isn't, though. Willow was sore. Um. And being really adorable with Peter my fellow Blue Gremlin. I, uh . . . are those two things connected? Possibly? My cooking study buddy rocks, you guys. I just want you to know that.

CONNER: She's really cute, too, and so is Marie, and the two of 'em were talking about guys. Did my name come up anywhere there?

ANDERS: Oh, for frak's sake. You're hopeless. Nice to know people were trying to make each other feel better today, though. Tim brought River ice cream, and Phoebe was trying to cheer Bel up -- hey, Phoebe, can you maybe hassle him a little bit about giving me a hard time in class today?

CONNER: You too? What's up with that? I think Bel's having enough of a hard time as it is right now, with that ghost. Anyway, Cameron's back and was checking up on Molly, who, oh geez. Also has a ghost, apparently. And Aeryn's going on a trip, and tried to convince John that everything's going to be fine.

ANDERS: Is it the same trip to Coru-something that Anakin was worrying about?

CONNER: I dunno. Sam -- why do you twitch whenever that name comes up? -- and Dawn, who's cute too, were talking about music, and Lana was wandering around outside the dorms. So was Alphonse. You know what, man? We should hit the gym sometime.

ANDERS: Like, more often? Because people are putting me to shame here. Pippi and Sakurazaki were in there talking about fighting styles, and then Pippi sparred with Tim. Then later on in the gym Peter Parker was showing Anakin how he talks while he fights. Um. Is that like trash-talking the other team?

CONNER: No idea. I'm more of an incoherent-yelling-while-fighting guy. You know, "AAAAH!" and "WHOA!" and stuff.

ANDERS: You are kind of all about the grunting.

CONNER: Shut up. Ask Rory, though. She was there watching, and she's hotter than the scary hooker even though they look alike, because I don't think she's crazy. She was sparring with Anakin, too.

ANDERS: Oh, and Tyler was hanging around, too. He talked to Peter Parker about his ghost, and checked out Dean's EMF reader.

CONNER: He has an EMF reader? Sweet. So yeah, the fifth floor common room was nuts tonight. Nadia and Walter were watching something starring a guy who looks like Nadia does when she's a boy? Does that make sense?

ANDERS: Well, this is Fandom. Anyway, she told Seras that story. And Walter told her about how he was a girl. So that makes sense.

CONNER: Point.

ANDERS: Pippi compared notes with Nadia on hauntings, talked to Walter about Al and the ghosts . . . aw, geez, you too? And chatted with Seras.

CONNER: Seras is cool. Isabel was pretty grateful that Seras helped her be ready for a naked Greg. Buh. Also, she's pretty hot.

ANDERS: *sigh* Did anyone ever tell you there's such a thing as trying too hard, man? Isabel was researching the ghosts, too, and talking with Nadia and Pippi about it.

CONNER: And Nadia and Gwynn were talking about water balloons . . . wait . . . HA! *about fifteen seconds of uncontrollable snickering*

ANDERS: I . . . don't get it. But Gwynn also asked Pippi about an emo virus, and dude, keep the emo away from me, okay?

CONNER: Forget it. The emo looooooooooooooves you.

ANDERS: Shut up. I feel kind of dirty now.

CONNER: Oh, thanks.

ANDERS: I wasn't talking about . . . gah!

Post-Game Party Out On The Town

CONNER: So I don't know if the clinic was open this morning, but Doctor Goodchild opened it tonight. Goodchild? That's a name that looks cool on the back of a jersey. Anyway, nobody had to get carried off the court on a stretcher or anything, so that's always good news.

ANDERS: Definitely. Injuries suck.

CONNER: I was going to say they blow.

ANDERS: Same difference.

CONNER: Not really. Sakurazaki taped Walter up down at the junkyard -- I thought there were no injuries today?

ANDERS: No, dork, he was destroying stuff and she was getting it on film.

CONNER: Oh. I can read. Really. Like Jamie was doing at Empire Records today. Aw geez, Jamie, an encyclopedia? Do you want to borrow my Sports Illustrated backissues? I have all the swimsuit editions.

ANDERS: You would. Over at All and Sundries, Mister Blackadder was pondering workshops. What about 'em? I kinda like mine.

CONNER: Is there anything left?

ANDERS: Yeah, Caritas. Where we are never going ever again, especially when Mars is working.

CONNER: Not even for free drinks? I bet the cute girls will buy us more free drinks if . . .

ANDERS: NO. But Phoebe was there to check up on Veronica, and my new brownie buddy Nadia was there with more information on ghosts.

CONNER: More ghosts. Clark was there reading about 'em, too. And Archie was being snuggly with Veronica. *pause* I don't think I've met Archie.

ANDERS: Please. Keep it that way. For both of our sakes.


CONNER: So yeah, I think that's all for tonight. Wow, there wasn't a whole lot of sports stuff going on, although tomorrow? I am so there for the Germany-Argentina game. It's going to be awesome.

ANDERS: You and your soccer. I swear.

CONNER: You're one to talk, Pyramid-boy. But we're out of stuff to talk about. Any last words, Anders?

ANDERS: Yeah. The moon is going to Mars in a go-kart on vacation.

CONNER: . . .

ANDERS: Never mind. Have a good night, Fandom, we're out of here. Stuff to do. You know how it is.

CONNER: Gremlins for the win!