fandom_radio | Fandom Radio, May 20

Gabrielle: There, see, the light's on, that means we're on the air, so now we get to talk into this microphone-thing here.

Sara: I don't see how you understand all this if you're from so much more ancient a time than I am.

Gabrielle: Well, I've been here longer than you. Don't ask; I just know.

*impatient chittering*

Gabrielle: Oh, right! On the air. Uh. Hello, everyone! Welcome to WTFH. I'm Gabrielle. *pause* Introduce yourself!

Sara: . . . and I'm Sara. I'm not exactly sure what I'm doing here.

Gabrielle: Well, you know how the squirrels rescued us from that herd of teal deer in the preserve? I think this is their way of collecting payment.

Sara: You can't seriously mean the squirrels run this place? How am I to trust that you're right about everyone being able to hear us, anyway? You know, for someone who claims to be from ancient Greece, you speak English awfully well. And I know lots of stories about the Greeks --

Gabrielle: You've read stories from my time? Any of mine, by any chance?

Sara: -- and I've never heard of anyone named Gabrielle in any of them.

Gabrielle: You, neither? What is the problem here?!?

Sara: Well, I've hardly read them all yet. I daresay I could come across your name yet, although it doesn't sound very Greek at all. That bed of lisianthus over there in the corner agrees with me.

Gabrielle: . . . traitors. Look, here's the notes for the day. We'd better start reading before the squirrels use us for target practice. You know what? Why don't you start?

Sara: Oh, I don't see why not. This is an awful lot like gossip, but I'm sure we can make an interesting story out of it.

Gabrielle: Oh, don't you get started with me, missy. You're not out-storytelling me.

SCHOOL
Sara: We'll just see about that, why don't we? *chittering* Don't you dare. Put those acorns down. *much meeker chittering*
That's much better. Laser Tag Adventures, taught by Mr. Castle, met in the Danger Shop to hunt flowers among the greenery at the New York Botanical Gardens. It's awfully silly to hunt the flowers when they keep popping up everywhere today.

Gabrielle: Um. Not that kind of hunting . . .

Sara: That makes even less sense. I've no idea what laser tag entails or what kind of gear it requires, but at least while they were putting it on the students had the chance to admire the woods, then play laser tag with the flowers in the woods. Alex Russo was present in her capacity as teacher's aide, and for his part, Mr. Castle was hunting petunias. I never cared much for petunias myself. I haven't run across any of those today, and that's a shame; I'd actually been curious as to whether they'd act the way I always imagined they would.

Gabrielle: Sassy. Very sassy little things.

Sara: That's disappointing. I thought they'd be much more prim. Which is far more than I can say for the lack of an outfit you have on.

Gabrielle: Hey, hey, there's nothing wrong with what I'm wearing, and as for the petunias, believe me, they can be both.

Sara: I'd ask you to explain more, but the squirrels are beginning to look impatient. Being Marooned students had to dress as pirates and collect maps from Captain Jack before going on their treasure hunts. I know several stories about treasure hunts, and ever so many more about pirates, and . . . the squirrels are looking murderous at me. Oh, all right. Poor Christian was perplexed when Delirium asked him what treasures eat, seeing as she wanted to bribe hers, but went along with the idea anyhow.

Gabrielle: I can think of a few hungry treasures myself. There was this one time I --

Sara: Do you want me to read these notes, or not?

Gabrielle: Fine, fine. See if you ever get to hear that story from me, then.

Sara: Afterward.

Gabrielle: . . . yeah, okay.

Sara: All right, then. As I was saying. Anyone who didn't feel like searching for treasure could enjoy the sunshine and work on their tans, since sometime in the past hundred years that stopped being a horrible thing, or talk to Captain Jack. Logical Fallacies had their lecture and discussion on the use and rebuttal of the fallacies known as "if by whiskey" and "no true Scotsman." I know stories about whiskey and Scotsmen and --

*chittering*

Gabrielle: Uh-uh. Get on with it, Story Girl.

Sara: You don't need to look so smug. Hinata, the teacher's aide, and Ms. Perrault were of course both in attendance. Anatomy of a Trial -- and I'm afraid I don't know nearly as many stories about trials as I'd like --

Gabrielle: What is this, a contest now?

Sara: You're not very good at understanding how to not interrupt, are you? The class had a lecture and discussion on opening statements in the presence of Karla, who was ready to fulfill her TA duties despite being busy scribbling notes, and Ms. Cabot. Self-Defense met in the . . .

Gabrielle: Dojo. I'm not sure what it means either, but after everyone had a chance to listen to Faith talk, she had them warm up and tested their fighting skills by sparring them one-on-one. Leda wanted to know if using magic is cheating, which depends on the fight according to Faith. Xena doesn't need magic to do things in a fight that people think is cheating. No, squirrels, that's not dirty, stop looking at me like it is. The TAs were around, but unpestered, and --

Sara: Are you done interrupting me yet?

Gabrielle: No, I got bored of not getting to read. Ah, and now you look scandalized by that page, so I'll take that, thank you, and do a little reading myself. Emmett and I ended up winging it for All-Sexuality Support Group today when everything was covered in flowers, so Karla helped us teach the flowers some new songs to sing, but Mitchell didn't help. He just looked at us funny. And that's all right too. Drake's office was full of flowers, and he taught them to sing sappy love songs when he wasn't getting a visit from Didi to talk about deadlines and summer plans and missing being in his class. Anakin's office hours were in the flight shed, accompanied by flowers insisting he needed more joy in his life. Did Raven and her very affectionate roses address that concern? Iiiiiiiiiit's possible. It's also possible that had the opposite effect, but what do I know? I can tell you for sure that I know, at least according to what my helpful squirrel friends here tell me, that Loki had a nap during his office hours.

DORMS

Sara: Leda got bitten by a gremlin --

Gabrielle: Again?

Sara: You really are hopeless about interrupting. Out in the preserve, elsewhere from where we were held hostage by the teal deer, Toothless the dragon resorted to breathing fire to convince the flowers to serenade him with a different song, and Cara attacked them. Sookie was doing something with her telephone --

Gabrielle: Web surfing.

Sara: Whatever that's supposed to mean. Karla came to offer her a muffin, but the flowers warned Sookie against it; Bod came to visit and heard all about how Sookie was having a hard time finding a birthday present for Kennedy, then told her how he'd never celebrated a birthday before he came to Fandom. That's a story I'd like to hear.

Gabrielle: Yeah, yeah, we get it, you hoard them like a raccoon with shiny things. Try writing your own once in a while. Bobby -- hi, Bobby! -- gave Sookie a call, too. No wonder I haven't seen him around lately . . . Rinoa had the flowers grilling her about her love life, a fate I'm glad I escaped, but Squall came in to answer a few flowery questions as well. That's helpful of him. Peter Bishop was watching Mythbusters in the fourth floor common room tonight, joined by Claudia, who approved of both the viewing choice and Peter's father's Unblinded Science class, and by Delirium, who thought the Mythbusters' job was second only to chocolate . . . skyscraper . . . nudist painters . . . don't ask, Sara, I think you're happier not knowing. Scully was working on her computer out on the deck this evening, too, and wondering if her soda was drugged when the flowers started singing to her. Was it henbane? That stuff will make you think you're hearing a god talk to you. Ino tried to convince her that no drugs were involved and it was just the island, and tried to tell James that no, it wasn't a spell gone wrong and he should enjoy it. I have to agree with that. They're flowers! They're singing! What could possibly be wrong with that? Honestly, folks, it's Fandom. Enjoy it! Don't be like Scully, not believing in magic and talking to James about how it might be a plan to keep us distracted from thieves or attackers. I have yet to find a thief or a warlord's army who would use flowers like -- well, there was that one -- never mind.

TOWN

Sara: Groundbreaking on the town's new community center is underway, and the construction crew was aided by Jo, Cindy, and Faith -- doing construction?

Gabrielle: You're from two thousand, nine hundred years ahead of me. Why are you the one who's so shocked?

Sara: -- while Barney, Dani Reese, and Zoe chose to watch instead. Dani Davis, on the other hand, was more interested in . . . admiring the construction crew. Millie was reading at Book Haven -- now there's a place I've got to visit in this town -- and Helen had the horses at the Gig enjoying the weather. And, one presumes, the flowers. The flowers at the clinic were a bit flattering to Doctor Jones. Vida got serenaded at Covent Garden Flowers, where it's not at all surprising there were flowers, is it?

Gabrielle: Oh, probably a lot more of them than usual. Nice talented flowers, too. Jack Priest had an inquisitive lily to deal with at Cabot and Associates, Dani Reese was at the Trooper Station checking email, Hoshi's mood at the Arms Hotel stayed afloat because of the flowers -- which serenaded Lindsay on her first shift at Nast Sporting Goods, where K-Mart came to check up on her. Over at the church, Castiel was . . . drunk, and gave a very short sermon about enjoying ourselves until life ends. Seizing the day and all that. It's good advice . . . I'm not sure why everyone in the congregation was so surprised.

Sara: He was drunk in the pulpit. Honestly, why do you think?

Gabrielle: I think I'm from waaaaaaaaay before your time, is what I think. Chuck found out that Castiel was drunk because he thinks he's a failure, Dean got to hear all about how another version of him passed Castiel over for another angel, and Sam got to hear about how, and I quote, "brothers suck" and one of Castiel's is now siding with humanity. Sam thinks that's a good thing. I can't say I disagree. Geoffrey held casting for East Side Story, a musical, at the Boards, where Karla, Kate, Alice, and Robin the frog tried out for roles, Claudia got hired as the stage manager, Harper was working on costumes again, and Chloe was just there to volunteer. Looks like Leda was singing in the park after being gremlin-bitten, with Robin the frog for an audience.

Sara: Max's Combat Training for Adults course met at the gym today, with Tim Desmond, Millie, Mary -- who had to remind Max where her eyes were -- Jane, and Summer in attendance before learning about balance.

Gabrielle: The flowers were teasing Tara at The Magic Box, and not even Kennedy coming in to complain about getting homework on her birthday and talk about Tara's plans for the party tomorrow was going to stop them from being smart-alecks. Faith coming in to check out the shop and ask Tara about being a witch probably didn't stop them either.

Sara: The practice dummies at Atlas Gym got a thorough refitting from Dimitri, who had to get interrupted by Rose the bobcat trying to bring him a flamingo. Which was considerate, at the very least.

Gabrielle: Chuck opened Caritas in a pretty good mood, and talked to Faith about being a different version of herself; Faith talked to Dean about getting hit or hit on in their classes; Jaina's lack of actual alcoholic beverage didn't stop Chuck from talking to her about roaming galactic bad-guy-fighting and mass-purchase of buildings. Dean and Chuck, on the other hand, were trying to figure out what was wrong with Castiel.

Sara: The notes, unfortunately, don't say if they did. The notes don't actually say a thing more.

Gabrielle: In which case, I think it's time to say good night to everyone.

Sara: You're sure they're really listening on that thing?

Gabrielle: Absolutely! Good night, Fandom!

Sara: . . . yes, I suppose. Good night.