Fandom Radio, Saturday, January 30th, 2010

[imonscholarship.livejournal.com]

Dan: Hello, Fandom. Don't check your calendars, it's really Saturday. We just swapped days with Drake because Chuck has something to do tomorrow night.

Chuck: Work, Humphrey. I have a meeting on Monday so I'm going back to the city tomorrow night.

Dan: I didn't realize you had a job.

Chuck: I have several. How many do you have?

Dan: ...one.

Chuck: No wonder you have to shop at Target.

Dan: What's wrong with Target?



School

Dan: Target's awesome, I don't care what you say. Anyway, Griff didn't let a carnival stop him from coming into work, where he spent his library shift sketching. Way to be dedicated, dude.

Dorms

Chuck: Layla yelled at nobody in her room. I do that when drunk. Dinah was doing research in her room and got a visit from Priestly.

Dan: Man, we're light on notes today.

Chuck: Just wait, Humphrey. Just wait.

Town

Dan: Over on Unicorn Street, Sam was de-chocolatefied and talked to Dean about carnival food. I...honestly can't think of Dean without thinking about angry sex with you now.

Chuck: You say that like it's a bad thing.

Dan: It is a bad thing. It's gross.

Chuck: Does it really bother you that much?

Dan: Yes.

Chuck: In that case, I've kissed Sam too.

Dan: Stop!

Chuck: Nope. This is gonna be fun.

Dan: God, why? *sigh* Anyway, Ellie and Fred were at their respective jobs, and Hurley closed Groovy Tunes due to the carnival. Smart move. Over at Caritas, Jaina--

Chuck: Kissed her.

Dan: --dammit! So gross. Anyway, she opened up Caritas but kept taking phone calls in the lounge. Ashley grabbed a Molson and introduced herself to Jaina. GOB was confused because he missed the carnival and Ashley explained to him it was in town. Jaina frowned at GOB and talked drinks with Fred. Gunn wanted a beer and complained about the zombies. Castiel--

Chuck: Kissed him.

Dan: *sigh* Of course you did. Castiel was dressed to the 9's at the bar and got complimented on his clothes by Fred. He introduced himself to Jaina and got complimented by you, Chuck.

Chuck: Well he looked good. Of course I was going to compliment him.

Dan: How come you're not that nice to me?

Chuck: Because you suck.

Carnival Time

Chuck: Okay then, let's get this over with. There was a carnival in town today. You all know that because you were there. All of you. There were concessions that had food that is terrible for you. Chuck who is not me gave Mulan food recommendations. Kate's weirded out to see Mitchell in public and Emmett tries to hit on him. Nice try, but I don't think it's gonna happen. Jonas and Beka are apparently cute with each other and Peyton tells Dean she's going to make him blush. Yeeeeeeah. Not going to happen. He has less shame than I do.

Dan: That's impressive.

Chuck: I know, right? Dean got a hug from Alice and caught up with Claire. Helen and Hinata talked food while Mulan caught up with Ino. Merlin was in awe of cotton candy. Cotton candy is amazing. Anyway, he assured Helen that hot dogs weren't really made of dogs. Rory and her daughter were sampling the food and she talked to Jaina about not resisting the chance to dunk Anakin. I can see how that's tempting. Meanwhile, Emmett and Elena contemplated a hot fudge hot tub. Sounds extremely messy.

Dan: There was a tables area for people too lazy to stand. And, oh look, nobody is surprised to see Chuck there. He talked to Dean about cotton candy and apologized to him for bolting last month. That's actually...nice of you.

Chuck: I'm a nice person to people that deserve it.

Dan: I used to do your homework for you. Don't forget that. Hinata wanted to know if Ender didn't like sugary things. Apparently he's just indifferent. Ben has a ton of food with him when he takes a seat near Ender and they argue about Ben's inability to judge size.

Chuck: Come on! Am I really supposed to believe you two aren't having sex? Really?

Dan: Arthur was stuffing his face and Merlin jacked some of his food which led to a discussion about Merlin being a food stealer.

Chuck: Bee tee double-you. Kissed Merlin.

Dan: Come on, Chuck. We had a big chunk there where you didn't gross me out at all. Reno and Ino talked about things I don't understand, like Ino's Thunder armlet. Have no idea what that is. Rikku tackleglomped Reno, Meg played catch up with Dean and Alice asked Leto why he looked so serious. Yeah! Carnivals aren't for serious stuff.

Chuck: Shut up, Humphrey. Anyway, back to the carnival. Beka and Hinata talk apple fritters and intimidating crowds. They could be one and the same if the apple fritters were really good. Angela caught Peyton up on recent invasions. Dan?

Dan: Yeah?

Chuck: I slept with Angela.

Dan: I hate you so much.

Chuck: Feeling is mutual, believe me. Moving on, Kate encouraged Bod to visit her at the kissing booth. Kris ran into Sam, which is impressive considering the guy is Sasquatch. I say that affectionately. Lulu was doing paperwork at the carnival for some reason and recognized Ino as someone familiar with Reno's world. Jean is trying to tell penguin!Bobby he can't have hot dogs and Kate came over to share her amusement at it. Warren thought the penguin was an actual penguin. Nope. Student. Easy to make that mistake though. Hurley asked Sookie to bake him a cake for his birthday. Really? You have to ask? That's sad. Jaina told Zanye how much fun it was dunking her grandfather. Again, I can really see the fun in that.

Dan: I wouldn't risk pissing Professor Skywalker off. Ever. Adrian and Kris chatted about the carnival and where Kris is from. Effy thought Adrian lived at the bar and he explained he was at the carnival people watching. Creepy.

Chuck: Slept with Effy.

Dan: I'm just going to ignore you now. Bel got greeted by Paige and freaked out about that for some reason. Veronica and Dick made dirty snowmen. Sadly, they're the adults here, apparently. And Summer and Chris had a snowball fight. I love snowball fights.

Chuck: I'm sorry, aren't you from Brooklyn? Aren't you afraid of used needles and cockroaches in your snowballs?

Dan: For god's sake, Brooklyn is not that dirty. In news that's totally true, the carnival had booths and tanks for everyone's amusement. There was a kissing booth, which is where I was. And, no, I have no idea how I ended up there.

Chuck: Did anyone actually visit your booth?

Dan: Plenty of people did, thank you. Claire came by and--hey! I do not have an awesome lack of social skills. I kissed her, didn't I? I met Dinah and kissed her too. I talked to Dean about Chuck, mostly. Elena decided to be mean to the new kid but I got a kiss out of it. Angela gave me some advice and I kissed her on the cheek and I also got a kiss from Helen.

Chuck: Bad Dean, stay away from this loser. He sucks.

Dan: I do not! You are such an ass. Kate also had a booth and was available for kissing. Leto got a lot for his money but I think that was a given. Claire kissed Kate and offered to be a reference if anybody doubted her kissing skills. Kate's unsurprised to see Mat there and Bruce wants to know where the money is going to. Both got kisses, yes. From Kate. Not each other. Puck ditched his own booth to kiss Kate and Warren wants to know if paying is weird since Kate's his stepsister. I think kissing your stepsister in any situation is weird.

Chuck: It so is not. I'd kiss my stepsister.

Dan: You don't even have a stepsister.

Chuck: Oh, little stuck in the past Humphrey. I do so. Serena van der Woodsen ring a bell?

Dan: What?!

Chuck: Spoiler alert, sorry. Actually she's something else completely now since her mom adopted me. And...since you're staring in shock, I'll take over now. Jacob is at a kissing booth and totally macks on Morgana. I've kissed her too, Dan. But apparently they might take it outside the kissing booth, according to this squirrel. Somewhere Arthur is spazzing out. Dru and Jacob talk about who would play him in a movie and she ends up kissing him on the cheek. Lame. Dinah pays up for a kiss but first Jacob asks a questions about reserves. Claudia is amused Jacob signed up for this in the first place and there's a lot of blushing. Come on, people. It's just kissing. Elena and Jacob share a pretty hot kiss, apparently. Layla's kiss with Jacob got awkward, Emma admired Jacob's shirtlessness before getting her kiss and Helen made small talk before kissing Jacob. Oh, snap out of it, Humphrey.

Dan: What? Sorry. I was having an out of body experience or something.

Chuck: You're such an idiot. In more kissing booth news, Chloe didn't sign up to have one, got one anyway, and was pretty excited about it. Mat and Bruce both introduced themselves to Chloe and paid for kisses. Puck, who apparently has stupid hair, is way too excited about having a booth. Calm down, champ. You're a low-grade hooker. Anyway, he got a pretty aggressive kiss from Elena, which is something I appreciate in a woman. Effy quizzed Puck on how he enticed girls to his booth before getting a kiss from him. Your turn.

Dan: We've still got more kissing booth news, folks. Leia--

Chuck: Kissed her.

Dan: ...Ignore him, Dan. Leia had a booth and assure Leto that she signed up for it and he got to be her first kiss of the day. Dean apparently doesn't have to pay for a kisses which, okay, I can see since he's pretty good looking. Anyway, he kissed Leia too. Claire wanted to know if Leia's accepting girl kisses too and apparently she is, yes. Professor Skywalker is apparently not pleased with Leia. Yikes. Mat took a break from his own booth to see Leia. That's sweet. Even though he was probably looking for more kissing. Bruce and Hayley also got kisses from Leia in the name of school spirit.

Chuck: The fact that some of you people need an excuse to kiss worries me.

Dan: Maybe we don't all want to make out with the whole town like some people. Like, Azula, who was not happy to have a booth. Griff wanted to know if she was going to charge extra. Dinah mocked Azula for having a booth. That's not very nice. Mat demonstrated his kissing skills for Azula. This time Bruce and Hayley are attempting to kiss to make Azula look happier. Good luck.

Unsurprisingly, Mat has a kissing booth of his own. He and Dru talk gremlins before getting to the kissing. Aravis wants to know if she has to pay to kiss Mat now and, whoa, this squirrel predicts a booty call. I don't need to know that. Elena asked Mat if there was ugly girls asking for kisses before getting a kiss of her own and Dinah gets a kiss as well, but not before asking if Mat's been giving people a hard time. Of course he has. Helen also paid to kiss Mat.

Chuck: Yes, still more kissing booth news.Ellie Bartowski has a booth and gets her first kiss of the day from Mat. Puck asks Ellie out on a date before getting his kiss. Sort of defeats the purpose of the kissing booth, don't you think? Bruce was polite and introduced himself to Ellie before kissing her. Hoshi has a booth and, surprise surprise, Mat's there first to kiss her. Bruce also gets a kiss from her.

Emma has a booth too and--seriously, Mat? Were you running from one booth to another? Chill out. Karev stopped by for banter and Warren asked how much a twenty would get him. Not a lot since Emma is a classy lady. Elena tells Emma she has to bother Spock and Bruce pays for a Emma kiss. And, in the last kissing booth was Spock, who wasn't there willingly. Dinah offered to donate money without a kiss, which he appreciates. Kinda lame. Elena and Helen both pay for kisses and Dean offered Spock tips on looking more gettable. Looks like I wasn't the only one spreading the fruits of my knowledge in that area this week. I was probably better at it, though.

Dan: In something that doesn't involve kissing at all, there were dunk tanks filled with hot fudge. That sounds ridiculously messy. Sam didn't think Chuck could dunk him and, boy, was he wrong. Lucky shot?

Chuck: Incredibly.

Dan: Figured. I've seen you in gym class. Dean teased Sam before dunking him, which is what siblings should do. Dinah asked Sam if he got any offers to get the fudge licked off of him.

Chuck: Thought about it, but he would have never gone for it.

Dan: Gross. Claire's told Sam she was glad he was at the dunk tank and not the kissing booth before getting him all hot fudge'd. Lois got dunked by Jaina, who proceeds to take pictures. That's, um...

Chuck: Pretty hot, yeah. I slept with Lois.

Dan: You have to ruin everything for me, don't you? Dinah has a dunk tank and apparently she is either well liked or well hated because a lot of people dunked her. Arthur, Leto, Dru, Azula, Priestly, Roy and Bruce all did it. Wow.

Chuck: Jono has a dunk tank and gets an apology from Jacob instead of a hot fudge bath. Alice, however, manages to dunk him. Hannibal got teased by Angela and he tried to bribe Alice into not dunking him. Don't think I haven't forgotten about our bet, Hannibal.

Dan: Anakin has a dunk tank of his own and it becomes a popular place. Veronica manages to dunk him, despite Anakin's protests, as does Kyle. Rory and Juliet cutely dunk Anakin and Dean was there to be amused. He found out Leia was Anakin's daughter but that didn't mean he regretted kissing her.

Chuck: I didn't either, despite all the glaring I got. Jaina is extremely cheerful about dunking Anakin. Bel's there for snark and to try to dunk Anakin but Anakin totally cheats. Francine was a little too excited about being dunked in hot fudge and both Alice and Dinah fulfill Francine's wish of becoming a human sundae. Roy also has a dunk tank and gets fudge'd by Dinah and Bruce.

Dan: Oh thank god, there's a light at the end of the tunnel. The last activity at the carnival was pie tossing. A classic. Zoe got pie'd by Leto, Dean and Zanye. Joan got pies thrown at her by Hurley and Jim had Adrian throwing pies at him. And Castiel got pies thrown at him by Chuck and Dean.

Chuck: And we're finally done.

Dan: Thank god. If I had to hear about one more person you've made out with I was gonna throw up.

Chuck: Oh, we haven't even made a dent in the list.

Dan: I'm out of here. Goodnight, Fandom.