Fandom Radio [Thursday, January 28, 2010]

[suit-of-awesome.livejournal.com]

Lily: So do we have to start off talking about the gremlin things that went ahead and trashed everything, since we're probably going to be reporting people talking about that for oh, the next three weeks, or can we skip it?

Barney: That depends on if black blood stains on the hardwood are considered 'old news.'

Lily: Do we have new news?

Barney: That's what the squirrels would claim we're here to report.

Lily: Which means we should probably get to it, huh?

Barney: Dibs on school!

SCHOOL
Barney: Where Loki is in rare form as his People Suck class delves into the murky waters of the Relationship. As I would know, getting Teens In Love to listen to such a lecture can be difficult, but they all had relationship problems to share. Even if Kurt and Claudia were more interested in passing notes. Starting something that sucks, are we kiddies? I admit it, I'm curious if the TAs suck. Ahem.

Modeling for Dummies had a movie day whereby students were invited to sleep on the job or wish someday that they too could be an administrative assistant to a hot cougar. Hannibal showed he could live up to Deadpool's high expectations. Rick takes the Perfect Crime students on a journey through Clue, hoping the film has a new ending this time around. I say it was Tino with the broken bottle in the lounge!

Or was it George, in the library, with Special Collections? DUN DUN DUUUUUUUN! The world may never know since George up and vanished, leaving Karla and Henry to discover his note before the incredibly exciting library staff meeting. Instead of business talk and pizza, I suggest you hire some real entertainment to liven up the place if you really want to keep that staff happy! Principal Hotness, I hope you're listening.

Steve, Drake, and Paige - aka Jimbo's girl - are in their offices doing god knows what to pass the time. You're damn straight he knows, but don't believe the lies about blindness. The littlest Skywalker joined Anakin for patty-cake in his office. Now, are we talking height or age, because there are some dirty ways for that scenario to go...

Lily: I'm pretty sure that's a baby, so you'd be wanting to take that whole last sentence fragment back before you end up with a lightsaber somewhere you really don't want it.

Barney: Please, even Skywalker can take a joke. Look at his family. Speaking of family, Rory stops in with an offering to the gods of quiet children and they discuss putting Juliet to work. Maybe that will keep her from running off with the first boy who holds her hand. Raven's ravin' like every week but this time there's gremlins on the agenda. Oh, and there's Jaina to encourage child labor.

DORMS
Lily: Back in the dorms,
Jacob went to check on how Didi was doing after the gremlins, which led to happy, cheery talk about when it's your time to go and how you don't really have that much control over it. Anyone depressed now? Just me? Great. Jaime brought takeout, and there was more gremlin talk with Did, who was also pondering what she's going to do with herself if the humanity things sticks. Don't say a word, Barney.

Barney: I think my audience knows where I'd go with that.

Lily: It would scare me so much if they did. Warren found Hinata after she talked to her father, so there was some talk of daddy issues there- trust me, those are never fun- and Tara got to meet Merlin's owl, who was trying to peck him to death while being fed. Hopefully she got better treatment than its owner did.

In the second floor common room, Ben was eating cereal and watching a cooking show. That kind of seems like half-assing it, Ben. At least make toast and say you were cooking to it. Bod wanted to know if it was a fashion show, and while they do sometimes dress poultry, no. No it's not. He and Ben were amazed at the amount of alcohol used on this show, and I swear that's not my reason for why I love cooking, or is it why I'm so good at it. Jaime showed his system of eating dry cereal and washing it down with milk, which got him teased by Dinah, and wow, Jaime, you are a teenage boy. Ben got to explain holos to Dinah, and then there was general WTF-ing at the show. Yeah, that tends to happen.

TOWN
Barney: Taking a page from R. Kelly, Tara was trapped in a Magic Box that only Kennedy could help her out of. Totally dirty. I'm hoping there was a midget involved somehow - maybe that Skywalker! STOP THE PRESSES! Jen Walters was business-suited up at Cabot and Associates today! Finally, someone in this town has found a use for the suit. I'll be over here, weeping tears of joy and scotch with my fellow be-suited squirrels.

Lily: You do that. Vida left a note for her floral minions at Covent Garden Flowers, and Francine brought Katina lunch, giving her a break from cleaning up gremlin damage at Strokes of Genius. It's not nice knowing what you're going to have to do at work ahead of time, it's really not. Hoshi was worrying over her college applications at the Arms, and people were just giving Priestly a hard time at Luke's. I guess you have to make the work day interesting somehow? And at the church, Castiel was giving a sermon on how God doesn't care what you do with your reproductive organs, and I guess there was like a Power Point presentation and fuzzy handcuffs and Chuck Bass noted that this sermon had been done before. Marshall, baby? We're going to start going to church, okay?

Barney: DON'T DO IT, ERIKSEN! For the love of Princess Leia Daisy: It's a trap!

Lily: You heard what they were talking about! I can get on board with that kind of religion, maybe. Or not, but it's worth a listen!

Nathan Algren was reading a book at Wellspring Arms, and Vimes noted that the place doesn't get a lot of business considering how often we get invaded. It's not that often. Just... more than most places. Mina was there flirting through their discussion of whether the kids should be armed. Yeah, I wanna see you try and take the weapons away from them. You'd think we were a public school. Jack O'Neill was restocking shelves at Dite's, and trying to get advice from the cat. Yeah, every week I'm going to want to make kitty jokes. Every. Week.

Dimitri had to rescue Rose the bobcat from a box at the gym, Tony Foster was scrubbing out gremlin stains at the Boards... Gremlin stains? Iiiiiii'm just going to move on to talk about how Jean showed up to Sushi Station for her date, but first she had Bobby asking her if she was waiting for someone... and then he turned into a penguin. He was still under the table when Jean's date Bruce showed up, and really, if you want interesting date conversation, a penguin friend under the table fits the bill. Speaking of animal friends, Helen and the horses were all in good moods at the Gig. Millie kept falling asleep at Book Haven, which is fine because she's the boss, and Kyle Katarn was late to Caritas because he had to find his key. Interesting.

Barney: Interesting would be the twenty dollar lady of negotiable affection in the alley behind the bar finding his key in her cleavage.

Lily: ...I actually have to give you that one.

Barney: Because I'm Awesomely right.

Lily: Not giving you that one.

Barney: But you just agreed with me!

Lily: I heard the capital A in there. I have limits.

Barney: Fine! I know I'm right, the listeners know I'm right, so I say good night!

Lily: Good night, listeners! I know what you really think, just go along with him for now.