Fandom Radio, Monday, September 28

[likethegun]

Sam: Good evening, Fandom. We're almost a third of the way through the semester, good job on surviving so far.

Andy: You actually keep track of those things?

Sam: Of course. You don't have a calendar for the semester set up?

Andy: Not really, no.

Sam: Of course not. Why do I ask these questions? Consider me your personal calendar then, because yes, I do keep track of this stuff.

Andy: Okay. Not that I expect to need to know that kind of stuff, but...

Sam: I'll tell you anyway. You never know when it might come in handy.

Andy: ...You're really enthusiastic about this.

Sam: I like it when things are orderly and make sense.

Andy: You must spend a lot of time frustrated here then.

Sam: Oh, you have no idea.


School News

Sam: Applied Science's students learned about germs and viruses by getting glitter on themselves to show how easy it is to spread germs. It doesn't sound like there was any resulting same-sex kissing, so they were probably learning about more general germ-spreading instead.

Andy: I still don't get the relation to being sparkly and kissing boys, but oh well.

Sam: It's part of Fandom's history of how things work here, like snickerdoodles being made of people. I think that one might actually be true though.

Andy: That's kinda disturbing.

Sam: Yeah, that is a little more disturbing than I want to think about. Hubris from Revelation learned about Yom Kippur and talked about atonement - what it means to everyone and whether or not they believe it's possible. The Physical Films class got wet today, dressing out in what I'm sure was stunning blue and gold swimwear to swim laps while watching a movie about swimming. I don't know if those two things go together very well, but everyone did it anyway.

Care for Magical Creatures talked about the way faeries can both hurt and heal humans, but first, they celebrated All Badger's Day, complete with real badgers. And the Sex Ed class got to deal with a gremlin-bitten Mr. Bond, who thought he was someone named Paulo there to answer their questions about lovemaking. Oh, you guys, I'm so sorry.

Andy: I hope it wasn't Gus.

Sam: I thought he just won't bite you, not anyone else.

Andy: Well yeah. But still. He's kinda a friend and I don't like it when friends go around biting people.

Sam: Maybe you should convince your friend not to bite anyone, and then you won't have to worry.

Andy: But it's what gremlins do. I don't want to make him not a gremlin.

Sam: Then I guess you're just going to have to hope he doesn't bite anyone too hard. The Fencing Club met today, and worked on attacking drills under the watchful eyes of Edmund and Mr. Algren.

Over at the teacher's offices, Mr. Bond got bitten by a gremlin before his class, Constable Fraser tried to figure out what to do with the plants he got for Ms. Scherbatsky now that she's not a triceratops anymore, and Lady Ghanima got a visit from Ino, who wanted to talk to her about Jennifer.

*chittering*

One last minute note? Okay, it says that Mr. Sweets will be having an assembly tomorrow to discuss teenage sexuality. That ought to be an interesting sight at this school.

Andy: Does it say if it's a pro-teenage sexuality assembly or an anti-teenage sexuality assembly?

Sam: It just says there's going to be one, but I'm guessing anti-sex. It's not being run by the students, after all.


Dorm News

Sam: Francine and Merlin were talking in her room when Special Agent Gibbs came by for...some reason the squirrel refuses to mention. So, it's either really good or really bad.

Andy: Or another case of bias squirrel reporting.

Sam: They're going to start throwing empty rum bottles at you if you keep that up. Jaime called home and proceeded to get dumped over the phone. Luckily, Didi was there to talk to when the conversation was over.

It's a Monday and we're not in a bizarro world, so that means Arthur and Merlin were in the salle this morning. Merlin wasn't sure if Arthur still needs the practice - or if what they do in the salle even counts as good practice - but Arthur assured him that their time there is necessary. Dinah and Arthur exchanged the usual pleasantries before she showed him a twirly sword move that Zayne taught her, and Arthur made it clear that he did not approve. Yeah, he doesn't strike me as a twirly sword kind of guy.

Rachel was on the roof this afternoon, meditating. Hayley came out to smoke and learned for what sounds like the first time that the cigarettes were dangerous to herself and to Rachel. Hayley was utterly fascinated with Robin, which was probably a nice change from people who freak out at him.

Andy: Really, if you're going to freak out at every little thing that's weird here, you're going to break your freaking out... thingy.

Sam: Some things take a little longer to get used to when you first get here. Talking frogs would be one of those things. Not everyone can be perpetually mellow like some lucky people.

Andy: There's ways to help with that, you know.

Sam: Not everyone can be perpetually mellow without illicit substances. Illyria and Rachel talked about not being from around these parts, and where they came from, and Robin tried to figure out how Illyria's hair got so nice and pretty while she tried to figure out what the heck he is. Mat flirted with Rachel before the conversation turned to the impending weather, as roof conversations often do, and Robin also talked to Rachel about how this is the first time she's ever seen autumn, which means that when winter comes, it'll be her first snowfall too. Rachel, for your sake, I hope it's a good one, and not one filled with crazy snowmen.

Alex was out on the deck this evening, smoking away. Aravis was surprised that his cigarettes didn't smell like pipes, and tried to get him to let her see how they tasted, but he made her ask really nicely first. Emma decided that Alex looked lazy all sprawled out like he was, but Jack didn't mind, and talked to Alex about their collectively dull weekends, and to Emma about what she's been up to lately since he hadn't seen her in a little while. Jaina apparently warned Alex that his cigarettes will kill him, because he was quick to point out that she's not a doctor, so her thoughts don't count. How very nice of him.

And Bobby had energy shots in the third floor common room tonight, which was apparently the sort of situation that earns reporter squirrels hazard pay. Jennifer found popcorn for Bobby, which made her the best Jennifer that's ever existed. Jean got reminded of her name a whole lot as she tried to make sure Bobby was okay, and Jennifer said it was nice to see Jean, which might have been code for "Thank god I'm not alone with the energized one anymore."

Andy: I'm now picturing Bobby as a giant pink bunny wearing sunglasses and carrying a bass drum.

Sam: It sounds like that's not far off. Sookie wondered what was on television and after Bobby listed like, everything he'd been watching, she asked who gave him whatever amount of sugar he'd clearly had. Jennifer suggested that he might be on speed instead, and tried to convince Sookie to distance herself from him to stay safe.

Bobby was hyper at Mirax and Ben, who couldn't quite figure out what he'd taken either. Ben told Jennifer about his latest gremlin bite experience, and met Mirax, who also got all the details from Jennifer about the glitter that made her kiss girls.

And then Bobby gave Gabrielle some of his energy drinks, and the squirrels fled. Chickens.

Andy: Rodents actually.


Town News

Andy: Things were less than great for a lot people down in town where Alex Russo was getting over her illness at the Magic Box, Mirax was wet at Things Reborn, Oz was bothered by the theme at the Holiday Grove, and Irulan was fighting with her computer to do paperwork at the Imperial Brim.

Gibbs got a call in his office at the trooper station, and another call later at MCA when he was getting dirty with Alex the lawyer. Vince Noir was braiding the horses' manes at the Gig when he got a visit from Dani Davis warning him to behave himself when her Dad was in town. Are you having anyone come for Parents Weekend?

Sam: My brother's coming back to visit, actually.

Andy: Yeah? Cool. I'd like to meet him. Ender was at Stark Industries and Ben Skywalker showed up with coffee and covered in glitter and they discussed spreading diseases. I'm against that actually, if anyone wants my opinion.

Lacey had an unholy amount of energy drinks at Luke's Diner. The Weetiny Boys Club pondered the energy drinks, and Dinah and Jak tried the energy drinks also, as they talked about Parents Weekend.

Worf was analyzing headlines at Wellspring Arms to see what would be on The View. Cable approved of this hobby. Castiel inquired as to the nature of the store and they discussed killing gods. Yeah, that's a good subject for an angel.

Sam: At least he seems to have gotten over being high.

Andy: You say that like being high is a bad thing. Adrian Ivashkov failed to impress Tino at Caritas tonight. Robin-not-frog came in for a drink and totally picked on him. Tough night for Adrian.

And Millie was cheerful with her book at the clinic. Yeah, books are happy making, I find.

Sam: Now there's a subject where you and I actually agree.

Andy: Book geeks of the world unite.

Sam: We're the ones who are going to rule the world someday, just watch.

Andy: Totally.

Sam: I guess for now, we have to settle for ruling Monday nights. I think that's the end of the notes.

Andy: Yep. So it's good night from the book geeks, Fandom.