Fandom Radio, Saturday, September 12

[likethegun]

Sam: Good evening, Fandom. I didn't think I'd miss being here, but I really kind of did. As the remaining Winchester, I felt it was my duty to keep up the tradition of bringing you news.

*sounds of doors opening and closing and running footsteps*

Sam: ...it's not, however, my duty to do that while getting bitten by a gremlin. Don't you even think about coming near me.

*sounds of a gremlin chittering*

*sounds of doors opening and closing again and more running footsteps*

Andy: Gus, I don't think we're supposed to be in here--Oh hi, Sam.

Sam: Uh, hey Andy. What are you doing here?

Andy: Gus had the munchies.

Sam: And Gus is...?

*sounds of gremlin chittering*

Andy: That's Gus.

Sam: You named a gremlin? A gremlin with the munchies?

Andy: It would be rude to just keep calling him 'gremlin.'

Sam: Riiight, of course. He's not going to take care of that hunger issue on us, is he?

Andy: No, he just really seems to like nuts. Like really.

Sam: He does seem to be fighting the squirrels really hard for them. I guess you're welcome to stick around if I'm not going to end up as a gremlin snack.

Andy: He won't bite you. What are you doing here anyway?

Sam: I'm doing the radio broadcast tonight. Do you want to help? I've got all the notes here, you just have to read them.

Andy: Okay, sure. I'm game.

Sam: Awesome! Here, I'll take the first part.


School News

Sam: Liir, Arthur, Dinah, Jack Priest, Effy, Kate, Francine, Jonothon, and Azula all had the pleasure of attending detention this morning. Whether or not they actually earned that detention is anyone's guess.

Andy: Jack's my roommate. I don't think he did anything detention worthy.

Sam: Honestly, he probably didn't. That's just how detention works sometimes. George was in the library watering the flowers; Jean complimented him on having something good to put on his transcript, and Jen Walters came in looking for books on recent history, and ended up talking to George about his dating failures. And since it's the weekend, that seems to be it for the school.


Student News

Sam: Jack Priest and Emma watched a movie version of A Midnight Summer's Dream in her room, so Jack could convince her to audition for the play. He's right, you should at least audition. It's fun, I swear.

Andy: Have you done a play?

Sam: Not yet, but I tried out too. It wasn't that bad at all. Andy had a gremlin not bite him, and get stoned with him and Jack Priest instead. Seriously, you'd better look out, because I don't think the Skywalkers will like you very much right now.

Andy: Why?

Sam: They're kind of like human nuts to gremlins. Apparently, they're the tastiest of us all.

Gus: *enthusiastic gremlin chittering*

Sam: Don't mind me, I'm just going to scoot a little closer to you. Alex was lounging on his bed with a book, like smart people often do on Saturdays, and Arthur and Merlin ended up having a serious business kind of conversation about Leto and the room situation. Don't make such sad noises, squirrels, I'm sure they'll be fine.

Jill hung out in her room and watched a bad action movie for the attactive actors in it. Dinah came by after detention, and they talked about hot actors in bad action movies, hot teachers, and Fight Club, and Turtle also stopped by, in full Student Council campaigning mode. If you're going to vote for Turtle, I'd also like to recommend that you vote for me, because I'm running for the senior class too. If you're not going to vote for Turtle...well, you should still vote for me.

Andy: Wow, you're running for student council too? On top of the librarian gig and the possible acting gig and the radio gig?

Sam: And I'm one of the co-captains of the cheerleading squad. Clearly, someone so involved with the school and town would be good for the council.

Andy: You need some downtime.

Sam: I'll have downtime when I'm accepted to college and scholarshipped up.

Andy: Yeah, because college will make you less busy.

Sam: It might be. I'll find out when I get there. Tahiri was meditating out on the beach when Ben found her and got caught up with her. Cal and Hayley watched some movies in Cal's room, which may or may not have been a date. They talked about her training with Azula, and the lies of squirrels. Oh Hayley, you're learning the truth already. That's really good.

Angela had ice cream and a trashy novel and a Hurley to share the ice cream with as they got caught up on how their classes are doing, and talked about the fun of sex in semi-public. Oh yeah, I'm sure that's loads of fun.

Andy: I think sex is supposed to be fun no matter where it is.

Sam: Maybe, but I really think involving a live audience crosses a line. Turtle's campaign trail continued, and Angela told her she'd have her vote even if Turtle wasn't bribing people with sweets. I'd like to point out that I am above bribing...unless you guys really want to be bribed. Anyway, after that, Hannibal came in with a ton of snack food for the frat - awesome - and told Angela about Illyria trying to join the frat before they made out. Um, Angela and Hannibal, that is. Not that people shouldn't want to make out with Illyria, if she wants to. Please don't kill me in my sleep.

I called Dean while I'm still alive enough to do so, and someone messed with the door to Rose and Morgana's room, but the squirrel doesn't know who it was, because it wandered too close to Andy and Jack's room and got a contact high. Good job, guys. This is totally what you earn the good rum for. Since Rose couldn't get into her room, Jack let her into his and Andy's room instead.

Andy: Huh.

Sam: I'm sure the door will be fixed in the morning, and then it'll be just you and Jack again.

Andy: Yeah, but it would be rude to go back and maybe walk in on something that they might want private.

Sam: Hey, it's your room too, don't forget that. They can go somewhere else if they want to do something private. Layla sent out an e-mail, and Tony celebrated being human again by watching Supers on DVD, getting candy from Turtle, and getting teased by Dinah, since she had the privilege of taking care of him while he was a tiger.

Codex was watching a cartoon about a princess warrior and her sidekick in the third floor common room this morning. Leto came in and helped her learn how to deal with social situations and how fingering people might be inappropriate. Either this is from the stoned squirrel again, or that word doesn't mean what I think it means.

Andy: Maybe they were talking about semi-public sex like those others.

Sam: That does seem to be the topic of the day, doesn't it? Codex told Didi all about the show she was watching and how studios are evil and cancel good shows after only one season. Didi and Leto met and talked about cartoons and about how Didi is the personification of death. Because those are two topics that totally go together. And Codex was a little weirded out by Leda being an actual elf.

Chuck wasn't happy with the television in the third floor this afternoon, probably because Saturday afternoons contain the worst television of the entire week. Kate told Chuck and Valentine all about detention, which was apparently a tea party. Valentine and Chuck talked about business and half-naked women. And semi-public sex, quite probably. Effy consoled Chuck and tried to find something else he could do for fun, and Chuck taught Mirax all about Rumor Gal, the internet, and how Spooky Things fans don't get laid.

Andy: That's totally not true. I love Spooky Things.

Sam: Me too! And...well, I won't speculate about your sex life because I'm not, you know, everyone else at this school. Merlin was studying the news very carefully on the fourth floor this afternoon, until Priestly came in and redirected him to the Food Network. which Merlin agreed was much better. Shilo probably would have agrred as well, after trying to cook macaroni and cheese in the sixth floor kitchen, and ending up with something that wasn't the right color.

Andy: So it wasn't dayglo orange?

Sam: If she ate it anyway, I really hope it wasn't. And Jonas was out on the deck this evening, stargazing. He got his candy bribe from Turtle, as did Beka, and he and Beka wondered what clounds might feel like. Sounds like that contact high might have spread a little further.

Andy: You keep saying that like it's a bad thing.

Sam: It's not bad. Just...awkward.

Andy: You wouldn't say that if you tried it some time.

Sam: No, I really shouldn't try it because my dad and my stepmother are probably listening.

Andy: *amused* We'll talk later.


Town News

Andy: Down in town, Irulan was studying catalogues at the Imperial Brim and Robin the frog was looking at magazines at the Android Dungeon. Lots of reading going on. Sophie was at Fourth Dimension and Karla came by to ooh and ahh over some of the art pieces. Hey, Gus, do gremlins have artwork?

Gus: *gremlin chittering*

Andy: No kidding. I'll get you some paint and you can show me, okay? Jean was feeding the ducks in the park when Jono came by and they had a soccer rematch. And Haley was dealing with bike parts at Strokes of Genius when Vince came by to hit on her. Sean Nast and Annja had a movie date in his hotel room. Somehow that seems like some kind of progression there.

Hurley was awesome and bouncy at Groovy Tunes, Hoshi pestered Gunther for recipes at the Arms, and Cable was beleaguered by Toys when Jean stopped in for training and got a job. Kinda what happened to me here, huh?

Sam: Yeah, except I'm a lot less scary than the mayor.

Andy: Not having met the mayor I'll take your word for it. Kyle was stacking soup cans in a pyramid at the T&C. That's cool. Geometric shapes are always fun to play with. Emma came in with Beka and badgered her to try on modern clothes. What was she wearing before, like a corset and victorian skirt or something?

Sam: Possibly? Not everyone comes from the present when they end up here

Andy: I know. But still. Down at the water, Aphrodite was riding around on a clam shell. The real Aphrodite? Okay that's just way cool.

Leto came by and met Aphrodite and they talked about how she is setting up a counseling office at the sex shop. Now there's something you don't hear every day. Jack Burton was embarrassed by Aphrodite and Minsc and Boo wanted to attack the shell, but settled for just pushing it back out to sea.

At Caritas, She-Ra was fighting the battle of E-Coli. Sounds scary. Daisy Day heard about the germ warfare from She-Ra and McCoy was grateful someone was paying attention to hygiene. Fred Dukes confused She-Ra by damning his lime. I don't get it.

Sam: Yeah, that happens sometimes. Between people who are kind of crazy and getting the news from squirrels, it doesn't always make sense.

Andy: And you just report it even if it doesn't? That doesn't seem right somehow.

Sam: You just try to make the best sense of it that you can.

Andy: I think I'm going to need more weed. Anyway, Daisy and Fred caught up and Jenny came in to get gin.

Sam: Since Caritas doesn't card. In case no one's told you that already.

Andy: No, but that's okay. I never have any problems getting served if I want a drink.

Sam: You don't seem like you have many problems at all, do you?

Andy: I'm good at talking my way out of problems.

Sam: Like dealing with gremlins? We should probably get out of here before Gus's high wears off.

Andy: He still wouldn't bite you.

Sam: Maybe he won't bite you, but I'm not taking any chances. This was fun though. A lot better than doing it by myself.

Andy: I suppose I could be talked into helping again if you want.

Sam: I might just have to do that. As for the rest of you, have a good night, and a safe weekend.