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fandom_radio2005-10-06 06:00 pm
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Student Council Debate Transcript
Right before the next debate, Pirate Radio be proud t' present last night's debate transcript (without OOC discussion or audience snarking).
PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATES
MODERATOR: Mr. Malfoy, you seem prepared. You may begin. How do you view the position of President as being in our unique environment, what are your goals, and how do you plan to achieve those goals?
MALFOY: Well, I admit that having a student council here would be a difficult job. We have such a wide variety of people, human and non-human that it's hard to be able to suit everyone's needs. I believe the first thing that is needed is a way to break down the racial barriers we have here. Humans, aliens, mutants, wizards; we need to stop putting ourselves in separate groups and start working together. We shouldn't be afraid of each other just because we have unique abilities. We should be taking our abilities and using them to make a better school.
To achieve these goals I think we should start with having more activities planned. Homecoming is a start, it's a way for all of us to be together without the distraction of schoolwork. I know students have formed clubs but there could always be more to suit every interest. And some clubs have been formed but haven't had meetings yet, we need to get more involvement. Even parties are a good way of getting people in a room together, interacting. Whatever helps the students of Fandom High to stop being suspicious of each other.
MODERATOR: Thank you Mr. Malfoy. Miss Halliwell's rebuttal...
HALLIWELL: The thing is, I happen to agree with a lot of Mr. Malfoy's ideas.
We have such a diverse population of both students and faculty that it will indeed be a challenge to be balanced and fair for each student. No one decision or event is going to please everyone that calls Fandom High their home. The idea is to try to at least provide a balanced medium that offers compromise to each student without showing favoritism.
The problem is that there is too much racism and cliquishness among the student body. We as student government, no matter what the outcome of the election, need to work at doing more to unite the student body. It shouldn't take an attack on our school to unite us and make us work together.
MODERATOR: Thank you Miss Halliwell. Mr. Malfoy? Care to make your rebuttal to anything she's said?
MALFOY: "I have got nothing to add to Miss. Halliwell's comments as we seem to agree that the main issue is to get the students together."
MODERATOR: Mr. Six, thank you for your patience. You've gotten to hear what the other candidates have said. Now I pose the same question to you:
How do you view the position of President as being in our unique environment, what are your goals, and how do you plan to achieve those goals?
SIX: "The position of the President is to help guide the students of Fandom High towards the truth. The truth, of course, being the ultimate pinnacle of learning and experience. We must always keep in mind those that surround us, watch us, control mold us." He straightened up. "As President, I would work to learn what our administration would like from us, and what we as a student body would like from our administration, and see that those two goals are made to intersect as efficiently as possible."
MODERATOR: For all the candidates, please.
*clears her throat and tries the accent*
Ye be talkin' about how wonderful all yer ideas are. Give us three things about why yer opponent be not Satan.
HALLIWELL: Draco Malfoy is not Satan for the following three reasons:
1) He honestly seems to share the same views I do about what this school needs.
2) He seems to stick by those he calls friends hrough thick and through thin.
3) He's honest. Whether you like his attitude or not, he doesn't wear masks and pretend he's someone other than who he is.
MALFOY: Excellent question. I don't want the students to think that because we are running against each other the competing candidates hate each other. I happen to have great respect for both of my fellow students who are running for president.
Phoebe is an extremely involved woman. As Professor Jerusalem's assistant she is extremely dedicated. She's dedicated to him, her schoolwork and her fellow students. I also like how she interacts with everyone, not just a certain group. And unlike others I have met here she always waits to make her own impression of others, she doesn't listen to the gossip that floats around the school.
Number Six is a man who is also dedicated. He loves freedom and will do anything to get it. Also from what I have seen he is very creative and can think of plans easily. And he is extremely polite and is able to deal with others without hostility.
SIX: Why opponent is not...Ah. Mr. Malfoy has brought a wonderful artistic talent to the race. His ideas of non-partisanship are fair -- ideas should come from all sides. Ms. Halliwell is a lovely woman, from what I can tell, and works hard as a journalistic assistant. As you know, I find the truth to be very important, and so I salute her in that. Furthermore, both of my opponents are fine, upstanding members of the Fandom High student body, and I would be happy to work with them no matter what the outcome of the election.
MODERATOR: We hear a lot of talk about diversity, but what about action? What have you actually done to reach out to the different kinds of students in this school and what will you do if you get elected?
MALFOY: Well, being from a school where it was filled with all magical students I didn't really have a chance to deal with anyone else. Naturally when I came here I was fascinated with those who were brought up differently than myself. I have joined clubs, which is a great way to meet new people. In classes where I am required to get a partner I try to choose a parter with a different background than my own. For instance two of my partners are Rory Gilmore and Death. Both are different from what I am used to, Death especially, and I feel we've become good friends. I have learned from my interactions with students that we aren't so different as I was led to believe back at my home. And of course people have come up to me asking me questions about being a wizard and I am only too happy to answer them. I want everyone to be comfortable with me being a wizard as I want to be comfortable with them.
I just wish there were more ways that I could meet my fellow students outside of class. There are so many of us that it is hard to get to know everybody. That is why if I am elected president I will make it one of my main goals to create more ways for the students to get together. Study groups, common room get togethers, fundraisers and creating more clubs.
SIX: That is an excellent question. As many of you know, I'm seen as a bit of a loner here at Fandom High. Such a perception couldn't be further from the truth! I am constantly engaging with my fellow students, watching out for spies their needs. As President of a diverse Fandom High Student Council, I would encourage activities that would broaden the horizons of the student body, and make each being, be they human, vampire, demon, alien, or undefined feel welcome to share with one another.
MODERATOR: What level of responsibility and accountability do you feel your position will owe to both the student body and to the administration?
MALFOY: I believe the first job of the president is to know what is going on in Fandom High. The president needs to talk to the students to find out the problems of the school so he/she can fix them. And they need to know the things that are going well in the school so they can perhaps improve on them. They are the eyes and ears of the school.
Another job of the president is to know what the other officers are doing and try to help them in any way possible. The student council, like the school, has to work together to get to a common goal.
The position of president is not a position of phenomenal cosmic power. They do not have the final say. Everyone in the student council works together to make decisions. A president's responsibility is to make sure that everyone in the student council is organized, aware of what is going on in the school and working together.
SIX: The President should be responsible for the wellbeing of the student body as a political body. That is to say, he should fight every day to ensure their safety and freedom from the tyranny of the administration. Every student has basic rights as a free person, and I see it as my duty to make sure the Student Council hold the administration responsible for upholding those rights.
As for the administration, fie as President, I would personally ensure that their grand designs for us are met with the enthusiasm they deserve.
MODERATOR: Also, Should some horrifying cafeteria concoction cause ye to exaggerate yer most annoyin' characteristic, what would ye be doing?
HALLIWELL: If I was to exaggerate my most annoying characteristic, it would be that I was trying to organize projects for everything imaginable. I would get a project started and do a whole spreadsheet on how it should be done and why. The very second that I have completed one project, I would be on to the next one.
MALFOY: Well, I know better than to eat from the cafeteria but if I did end up eating something like that I'd probably be pretty arrogant. I'd probably be showing off or bragging about myself. I don't think being confident in yourself is a bad or anything but it can get out of hand. So yeah, I'd imagine I'd be a pretty big show off if I ate something like that.
SIX: I suspect that I would be very afraid for the minds and hearts of my fellow students. I would not wish them to come to harm. It is my greatest fear that my friends in the student body do not think with their own thoughts.
MODERATOR: How do you feel about Barry Manilow? Kenny G? That one annoying white-boy band who think's they're reggae and ruins perfectly good Cure songs?
HALLIWELL: I don't know much about Barry Manilow and Kenny G puts me to sleep anytime that I hear anything by him. As for the boy band that ruins perfectly good Cure songs, I don't like them. I think it's a crime what they do to Robert Smith's songs.
MALFOY: Well, I can't really give an honest opinion on Barry Manilow or the annoying white-boy band because I have no idea who they are. I have not yet been at this school long enough to learn a lot of pop culture references, but I'm trying to get caught up.
And as for Kenny G...even being a wizard does not mean you can escape the horror that is Kenny G. Nobody should "rock out" on a clarinet. Nobody.
SIX: Frankly, madame, they aren't worth they vinyl they are printed upon. I prefer Vivaldi, Bach, Beethoven, and Chopin.
MODERTOR: How do you propose to solve the problem of the cafeteria food attacking students?
HALLIWELL: See, that's a harder question to answer.
First, I think I would want to make sure that all of the Gremlins at Fandom High are kept away from the food to begin with. They cause strange things to happen. Second, I would talk to the Swedish Chef and get his help in getting to the bottom of the sentient foodstuffs. I would also recruit the help of our Chemistry and Biology teachers to see if they could help me figure that out.
If all of that happens to fail, I would propose that we demolish the cafeteria and build a new one. With the new cafeteria in place, we could appoint someone to carefully inspect all shipments of food before it is prepared and served to the students.
MALFOY: Well from what I've seen, ever since the Swedish Chef has arrived the cafeteria food attacking hasn't been too much of a problem. Or if it does cause problems he is nice enough to warn you. I think we should be more careful about what the students make. I know Slartibartfast has cooking courses students can take. And perhaps maybe the Chef could take on an apprentice who can in turn make the foods for student organizations.
And if the Chef does make food that attacks the students well...we can just sit him and Das Schnitzel down and talk to them about food safety.
SIX: I suppose we should open communication and determine its needs. As a sentient creature, it deserves the rights and freedoms of anyone at Fandom High. Unless it refuses to cease its attacks. Then we attack with Baking Powder.
---
VICE PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATES
MODERATOR: Mr. Baltar, as a candidate for this position, how do you view the position of Vice President in our unique environment, what are your goals, and how do you plan to achieve those goals?
BALTAR: Well, if this is to be a debate, I require someone to debate with. As for the position of Vice President, well, we all know the office is largely for show, just someone waiting in the shadows for the president to be incapacitated. However, should I be elected, I would not sit still. I would be an approachable liaison between the students and the president. I would do everything in my power to keep the student body peaceful and happy by seeing that their needs and concerns are promptly addressed to the proper administrative officials and then dealt with to the satisfaction of all involved. I believe applying my intellect to the myriad problems that will surely arise in such a diverse population as we have here will result in a positive atmosphere for learning and growth.
BELTHAZOR: Nobody said this was mandatory. I don't do debate.
MODERATOR: Mr. Turner, if you do not wish to debate, no one will force you. However, that position makes it clear you do not want to be Vice President and you have wasted everyone's time.
Is that your wish?
BELTHAZOR: I'll take this seriously when the write-in candidates are allowed to voice their opinions officially as well. Makes it more fair than me and Mr. Science over there going at it. So, tell ya what, I'm gonna take a stand for those you aren't letting talk and decline the invitation to debate.
MODERATOR:
If...that's how you feel, Mr. Turner. I...I thank you for your honesty. Perhaps you have a valid point. I hadn't thought...
Mr. Turner, you can feel free to leave my stage.
Before you go, Mr. Turner...I've been handed a question.
Are the rumors about yourself and the student known only as Angelus true?Mainly the ones about all the gay sex strange noises coming out of your room late at night.
I don't know what that means...you don't have to answer. You can go.
BELTHAZOR: Nice to see you treat these debates as seriously as you think I do, Professor. I thought the questions were supposed to be about serious issues, not attempts to spread gossip or humiliate one of the panel. Yeah, you told me I don't have to answer, but you still asked the question. Nice.
MODERATOR: What level of responsibility and accountability do you feel your position will owe to both the student body and to the administration?
BALTAR: I of course would be completely accountable to the student body and the administration. Obviously, if I am elected it is because the students think I can best handle their interests, and I will not disappoint them. I would hope the administration would have the same faith in me as the students.
MODERATOR: Should some horrifying cafeteria concoction cause ye to exaggerate yer most annoyin' characteristic, what would ye be doing?
BALTAR: I'm sorry, what was the question?
Errr...annoying, yes. I have been told I talk about my intelligence too much, so I suppose I would do nothing but want to discuss how brilliant I am.
MODERATOR: How do you feel about Barry Manilow? Kenny G? That one annoying white-boy band who think's they're reggae and ruins perfectly good Cure songs?
BALTAR: *blinks*
They are not to my taste, but if people insist on listening to them, they should keep it to the confines of their room so as not to make the other students retch.
MODERATOR: Do you ever hear voices telling you to do things and if so what?
BALTAR: Of course not! That idea is completely ridiculous!
Only if the voice has sex with me first.
---
SECRETARY CANDIDATES
MODERATOR: Miss Lehane, shall we begin with you? What do you see the position of Secretary as being in our unique environment, what are your goals, and how do you plan to achieve those goals?
LEHANE: Well, considering that our school is... a bit unique, anyone who wants to represent the student body here is going to have to adapt to the special circumstances.
As secretary, I plan on making sure that the student body is totally and completley informed on everything that goes on with student council- secrets can't, and shouldn't, be kept in a school like this. I plan on using the school newspaper, radio station (where I do a weekly broadcast), web site, and bulliten boards to inform students of what goes on.
A very important thing in a school where there are zombie attacks, gremlin infestations, and evil baked goods is communication of what to do in an emergency. The student council officers should work with the administration to develop emergency plans for every contingency, and to publicize them to the students. My experience and knowledge of various sorts of supernatural danger (such as zombies) would make me very helpful in this respect.
Thank you, Professor Cregg.
SWANN: Normally, a Secretary would be on call to take down notes during meetings and report to the student body as to what happened in the meeting. Of course, this isn't a normal school, and such the position must be altered slightly. I see a secretary in our school as being, as Faith has referred to, as a position of communication. The secreatry would be a messenger between the general student body and those who hold positions and make the decisions in student council.
I plan on keeping the students informed by using as many means as necessary. Whether it be e-mail, which I have recently learned how to use, or posting flyers up with various announcements, I will make sure that there is no doubt as to what the student council is up to.
Considering the recent concern with the safety of the school, I will make sure that if there are any impending attacks, there will be no doubts as to whether they are occurring and how one can help stop it from happening, as well as how to avoid getting hurt in the event that such attacks should occur. This would include escape routes, saftey zones, etc. I might not have had as much experience as my opponent in these matters, but having lived in a place where pirates frequently tried to overrun our island, I believe I have a fair amount of knowledge as to avoiding trouble.
MODERATOR: Ye be talkin' about how wonderful all yer ideas are. Give us three things about why yer opponent be not Satan.
LEHANE: Well, I'm not best friends with Elizabeth. But she seems like an incredibly nice girl- she seems polite, even to those running in other parties. She seems smart- I mean, she's running for student council. She is also someone who seems to be well spoken and aware of what she wants to do- she has it together.
SWANN: As Faith said, we are not very good friends. But from what I've heard, she did a good job defending the school from zombies, she can be quite nice, and is one of the few people who didn't try to attack the mime, according to some of my friends on the second floor, at least. She holds a great deal of honor, which is important when running for office.
MODERATOR: Should some horrifying cafeteria concoction cause ye to exaggerate yer most annoyin' characteristic, what would ye be doing?
LEHANE: Hm. I'd probably start feeling compelled to like, save and protect everyone. Sometimes, these Slayer instincts, they just get out of control, and it's annoying as anything.
SWANN: My most annoying characteristic...although I am not entirely sure myself, it would probably cause me to whine about how much I do not want to marry Norrington and complain about my current state of my love life. I would be lying if I said I didn't have any annoying characteristics, so it is probably best to be up front.
MODERATOR: How do you feel about Barry Manilow? Kenny G? That one annoying white-boy band who think's they're reggae and ruins perfectly good Cure songs?
LEHANE: I'm not a fan of Barry. Kenny, I like that one song of his, with the radio clips. And ruining Cure songs? 100% unacceptable.
SWANN: I have never heard any of these bands. Are these modern? I am not up to date with the music of this time period, and therefore cannot answer.
MODERATOR: Argh! Do any o' ye be likin' pirates?
LEHANE: I love pirates. Lots and lots.
MODERATOR: Exactly how many people herehave you nailed so far?...I'm not finishing that question, Miss Lehane.
LEHANE: No, no, I am willing to be open with the student body. Would the question asker like some ratings, cause I could give them that, too.
Four men, two women. As far as I remember.
---
TREASURER CANDIDATES
MODERATOR: Miss Jenkins, let's get this started. As a candidate for this position, how do you view the position of Treasurer in our unique environment, what are your goals, and how do you plan to achieve those goals?
JENKINS: The treasurer should hold the money, invest the money, and make more money. My goal is to have more money!
MODERATOR: Ye be talkin' about how wonderful all yer ideas are. Give us three things about why yer opponent be not Satan.
JENKINS: I actually have met Satan, or someone that introduced himself as Satan anyway. I still have doubts about him being 'Satan, Satan' since I am fairly certain Satan wouldn't wear flowered swim trunks and a bird shaped flotation device, but I guess you never know. You know those underworld demons...What was the question again?
MODERATOR: Miss Jenkins, I want you to say three nice things about your opponent.
JENKINS: Sorry, just started thinking about those horrendous swim trunks again. *shudders*
My opponent has not campaigned much which was very nice of her, but I've never actually met her so I don't know what else to add to that.
MODERATOR: What level of responsibility and accountability do you feel your position will owe to both the student body and to the administration?
JENKINS: My responsibility will be to take care of the money and make more of it. Since it's money, there will be accounting....
MODERATOR: Should some horrifying cafeteria concoction cause ye to exaggerate yer most annoyin' characteristic, what would ye be doing?
JENKINS: I actually prefer not to eat in the cafeteria. I mean after the horrible zombie eating incident. Did you see what it did to Rory? And Angelus, well, people are still talking about that.
MODERATOR: How do you feel about Barry Manilow? Kenny G? That one annoying white-boy band who think's they're reggae and ruins perfectly good Cure songs?
JENKINS: I haven't met Barry or Kenny yet, but I heard they are both very nice.
And yes, that one boy in a band is very annoying and should be fired immediately.What the hell is this? It has nothing to do with money and I was specifically told treasurer was money.
MODERATOR: How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
JENKINS: It depends. What kind of a woodchuck?
MODERATOR: If all zips are zoodles and some zoodles are zips why is grass green?
JENKINS: Grass is green so that bunnies can't hide in it. I know, you're all thinking 'Why would cute little bunnies hide?' but I'm here to tell you, it's not all marshmallow and Easter eggs.
---
MODERATOR: Mr. Malfoy, you seem prepared. You may begin. How do you view the position of President as being in our unique environment, what are your goals, and how do you plan to achieve those goals?
MALFOY: Well, I admit that having a student council here would be a difficult job. We have such a wide variety of people, human and non-human that it's hard to be able to suit everyone's needs. I believe the first thing that is needed is a way to break down the racial barriers we have here. Humans, aliens, mutants, wizards; we need to stop putting ourselves in separate groups and start working together. We shouldn't be afraid of each other just because we have unique abilities. We should be taking our abilities and using them to make a better school.
To achieve these goals I think we should start with having more activities planned. Homecoming is a start, it's a way for all of us to be together without the distraction of schoolwork. I know students have formed clubs but there could always be more to suit every interest. And some clubs have been formed but haven't had meetings yet, we need to get more involvement. Even parties are a good way of getting people in a room together, interacting. Whatever helps the students of Fandom High to stop being suspicious of each other.
MODERATOR: Thank you Mr. Malfoy. Miss Halliwell's rebuttal...
HALLIWELL: The thing is, I happen to agree with a lot of Mr. Malfoy's ideas.
We have such a diverse population of both students and faculty that it will indeed be a challenge to be balanced and fair for each student. No one decision or event is going to please everyone that calls Fandom High their home. The idea is to try to at least provide a balanced medium that offers compromise to each student without showing favoritism.
The problem is that there is too much racism and cliquishness among the student body. We as student government, no matter what the outcome of the election, need to work at doing more to unite the student body. It shouldn't take an attack on our school to unite us and make us work together.
MODERATOR: Thank you Miss Halliwell. Mr. Malfoy? Care to make your rebuttal to anything she's said?
MALFOY: "I have got nothing to add to Miss. Halliwell's comments as we seem to agree that the main issue is to get the students together."
MODERATOR: Mr. Six, thank you for your patience. You've gotten to hear what the other candidates have said. Now I pose the same question to you:
How do you view the position of President as being in our unique environment, what are your goals, and how do you plan to achieve those goals?
SIX: "The position of the President is to help guide the students of Fandom High towards the truth. The truth, of course, being the ultimate pinnacle of learning and experience. We must always keep in mind those that surround us, watch us, control mold us." He straightened up. "As President, I would work to learn what our administration would like from us, and what we as a student body would like from our administration, and see that those two goals are made to intersect as efficiently as possible."
MODERATOR: For all the candidates, please.
*clears her throat and tries the accent*
Ye be talkin' about how wonderful all yer ideas are. Give us three things about why yer opponent be not Satan.
HALLIWELL: Draco Malfoy is not Satan for the following three reasons:
1) He honestly seems to share the same views I do about what this school needs.
2) He seems to stick by those he calls friends hrough thick and through thin.
3) He's honest. Whether you like his attitude or not, he doesn't wear masks and pretend he's someone other than who he is.
MALFOY: Excellent question. I don't want the students to think that because we are running against each other the competing candidates hate each other. I happen to have great respect for both of my fellow students who are running for president.
Phoebe is an extremely involved woman. As Professor Jerusalem's assistant she is extremely dedicated. She's dedicated to him, her schoolwork and her fellow students. I also like how she interacts with everyone, not just a certain group. And unlike others I have met here she always waits to make her own impression of others, she doesn't listen to the gossip that floats around the school.
Number Six is a man who is also dedicated. He loves freedom and will do anything to get it. Also from what I have seen he is very creative and can think of plans easily. And he is extremely polite and is able to deal with others without hostility.
SIX: Why opponent is not...Ah. Mr. Malfoy has brought a wonderful artistic talent to the race. His ideas of non-partisanship are fair -- ideas should come from all sides. Ms. Halliwell is a lovely woman, from what I can tell, and works hard as a journalistic assistant. As you know, I find the truth to be very important, and so I salute her in that. Furthermore, both of my opponents are fine, upstanding members of the Fandom High student body, and I would be happy to work with them no matter what the outcome of the election.
MODERATOR: We hear a lot of talk about diversity, but what about action? What have you actually done to reach out to the different kinds of students in this school and what will you do if you get elected?
MALFOY: Well, being from a school where it was filled with all magical students I didn't really have a chance to deal with anyone else. Naturally when I came here I was fascinated with those who were brought up differently than myself. I have joined clubs, which is a great way to meet new people. In classes where I am required to get a partner I try to choose a parter with a different background than my own. For instance two of my partners are Rory Gilmore and Death. Both are different from what I am used to, Death especially, and I feel we've become good friends. I have learned from my interactions with students that we aren't so different as I was led to believe back at my home. And of course people have come up to me asking me questions about being a wizard and I am only too happy to answer them. I want everyone to be comfortable with me being a wizard as I want to be comfortable with them.
I just wish there were more ways that I could meet my fellow students outside of class. There are so many of us that it is hard to get to know everybody. That is why if I am elected president I will make it one of my main goals to create more ways for the students to get together. Study groups, common room get togethers, fundraisers and creating more clubs.
SIX: That is an excellent question. As many of you know, I'm seen as a bit of a loner here at Fandom High. Such a perception couldn't be further from the truth! I am constantly engaging with my fellow students, watching out for spies their needs. As President of a diverse Fandom High Student Council, I would encourage activities that would broaden the horizons of the student body, and make each being, be they human, vampire, demon, alien, or undefined feel welcome to share with one another.
MODERATOR: What level of responsibility and accountability do you feel your position will owe to both the student body and to the administration?
MALFOY: I believe the first job of the president is to know what is going on in Fandom High. The president needs to talk to the students to find out the problems of the school so he/she can fix them. And they need to know the things that are going well in the school so they can perhaps improve on them. They are the eyes and ears of the school.
Another job of the president is to know what the other officers are doing and try to help them in any way possible. The student council, like the school, has to work together to get to a common goal.
The position of president is not a position of phenomenal cosmic power. They do not have the final say. Everyone in the student council works together to make decisions. A president's responsibility is to make sure that everyone in the student council is organized, aware of what is going on in the school and working together.
SIX: The President should be responsible for the wellbeing of the student body as a political body. That is to say, he should fight every day to ensure their safety and freedom from the tyranny of the administration. Every student has basic rights as a free person, and I see it as my duty to make sure the Student Council hold the administration responsible for upholding those rights.
As for the administration, fie as President, I would personally ensure that their grand designs for us are met with the enthusiasm they deserve.
MODERATOR: Also, Should some horrifying cafeteria concoction cause ye to exaggerate yer most annoyin' characteristic, what would ye be doing?
HALLIWELL: If I was to exaggerate my most annoying characteristic, it would be that I was trying to organize projects for everything imaginable. I would get a project started and do a whole spreadsheet on how it should be done and why. The very second that I have completed one project, I would be on to the next one.
MALFOY: Well, I know better than to eat from the cafeteria but if I did end up eating something like that I'd probably be pretty arrogant. I'd probably be showing off or bragging about myself. I don't think being confident in yourself is a bad or anything but it can get out of hand. So yeah, I'd imagine I'd be a pretty big show off if I ate something like that.
SIX: I suspect that I would be very afraid for the minds and hearts of my fellow students. I would not wish them to come to harm. It is my greatest fear that my friends in the student body do not think with their own thoughts.
MODERATOR: How do you feel about Barry Manilow? Kenny G? That one annoying white-boy band who think's they're reggae and ruins perfectly good Cure songs?
HALLIWELL: I don't know much about Barry Manilow and Kenny G puts me to sleep anytime that I hear anything by him. As for the boy band that ruins perfectly good Cure songs, I don't like them. I think it's a crime what they do to Robert Smith's songs.
MALFOY: Well, I can't really give an honest opinion on Barry Manilow or the annoying white-boy band because I have no idea who they are. I have not yet been at this school long enough to learn a lot of pop culture references, but I'm trying to get caught up.
And as for Kenny G...even being a wizard does not mean you can escape the horror that is Kenny G. Nobody should "rock out" on a clarinet. Nobody.
SIX: Frankly, madame, they aren't worth they vinyl they are printed upon. I prefer Vivaldi, Bach, Beethoven, and Chopin.
MODERTOR: How do you propose to solve the problem of the cafeteria food attacking students?
HALLIWELL: See, that's a harder question to answer.
First, I think I would want to make sure that all of the Gremlins at Fandom High are kept away from the food to begin with. They cause strange things to happen. Second, I would talk to the Swedish Chef and get his help in getting to the bottom of the sentient foodstuffs. I would also recruit the help of our Chemistry and Biology teachers to see if they could help me figure that out.
If all of that happens to fail, I would propose that we demolish the cafeteria and build a new one. With the new cafeteria in place, we could appoint someone to carefully inspect all shipments of food before it is prepared and served to the students.
MALFOY: Well from what I've seen, ever since the Swedish Chef has arrived the cafeteria food attacking hasn't been too much of a problem. Or if it does cause problems he is nice enough to warn you. I think we should be more careful about what the students make. I know Slartibartfast has cooking courses students can take. And perhaps maybe the Chef could take on an apprentice who can in turn make the foods for student organizations.
And if the Chef does make food that attacks the students well...we can just sit him and Das Schnitzel down and talk to them about food safety.
SIX: I suppose we should open communication and determine its needs. As a sentient creature, it deserves the rights and freedoms of anyone at Fandom High. Unless it refuses to cease its attacks. Then we attack with Baking Powder.
VICE PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATES
MODERATOR: Mr. Baltar, as a candidate for this position, how do you view the position of Vice President in our unique environment, what are your goals, and how do you plan to achieve those goals?
BALTAR: Well, if this is to be a debate, I require someone to debate with. As for the position of Vice President, well, we all know the office is largely for show, just someone waiting in the shadows for the president to be incapacitated. However, should I be elected, I would not sit still. I would be an approachable liaison between the students and the president. I would do everything in my power to keep the student body peaceful and happy by seeing that their needs and concerns are promptly addressed to the proper administrative officials and then dealt with to the satisfaction of all involved. I believe applying my intellect to the myriad problems that will surely arise in such a diverse population as we have here will result in a positive atmosphere for learning and growth.
BELTHAZOR: Nobody said this was mandatory. I don't do debate.
MODERATOR: Mr. Turner, if you do not wish to debate, no one will force you. However, that position makes it clear you do not want to be Vice President and you have wasted everyone's time.
Is that your wish?
BELTHAZOR: I'll take this seriously when the write-in candidates are allowed to voice their opinions officially as well. Makes it more fair than me and Mr. Science over there going at it. So, tell ya what, I'm gonna take a stand for those you aren't letting talk and decline the invitation to debate.
MODERATOR:
If...that's how you feel, Mr. Turner. I...I thank you for your honesty. Perhaps you have a valid point. I hadn't thought...
Mr. Turner, you can feel free to leave my stage.
Before you go, Mr. Turner...I've been handed a question.
Are the rumors about yourself and the student known only as Angelus true?
I don't know what that means...you don't have to answer. You can go.
BELTHAZOR: Nice to see you treat these debates as seriously as you think I do, Professor. I thought the questions were supposed to be about serious issues, not attempts to spread gossip or humiliate one of the panel. Yeah, you told me I don't have to answer, but you still asked the question. Nice.
MODERATOR: What level of responsibility and accountability do you feel your position will owe to both the student body and to the administration?
BALTAR: I of course would be completely accountable to the student body and the administration. Obviously, if I am elected it is because the students think I can best handle their interests, and I will not disappoint them. I would hope the administration would have the same faith in me as the students.
MODERATOR: Should some horrifying cafeteria concoction cause ye to exaggerate yer most annoyin' characteristic, what would ye be doing?
BALTAR: I'm sorry, what was the question?
Errr...annoying, yes. I have been told I talk about my intelligence too much, so I suppose I would do nothing but want to discuss how brilliant I am.
MODERATOR: How do you feel about Barry Manilow? Kenny G? That one annoying white-boy band who think's they're reggae and ruins perfectly good Cure songs?
BALTAR: *blinks*
They are not to my taste, but if people insist on listening to them, they should keep it to the confines of their room so as not to make the other students retch.
MODERATOR: Do you ever hear voices telling you to do things and if so what?
BALTAR: Of course not! That idea is completely ridiculous!
SECRETARY CANDIDATES
MODERATOR: Miss Lehane, shall we begin with you? What do you see the position of Secretary as being in our unique environment, what are your goals, and how do you plan to achieve those goals?
LEHANE: Well, considering that our school is... a bit unique, anyone who wants to represent the student body here is going to have to adapt to the special circumstances.
As secretary, I plan on making sure that the student body is totally and completley informed on everything that goes on with student council- secrets can't, and shouldn't, be kept in a school like this. I plan on using the school newspaper, radio station (where I do a weekly broadcast), web site, and bulliten boards to inform students of what goes on.
A very important thing in a school where there are zombie attacks, gremlin infestations, and evil baked goods is communication of what to do in an emergency. The student council officers should work with the administration to develop emergency plans for every contingency, and to publicize them to the students. My experience and knowledge of various sorts of supernatural danger (such as zombies) would make me very helpful in this respect.
Thank you, Professor Cregg.
SWANN: Normally, a Secretary would be on call to take down notes during meetings and report to the student body as to what happened in the meeting. Of course, this isn't a normal school, and such the position must be altered slightly. I see a secretary in our school as being, as Faith has referred to, as a position of communication. The secreatry would be a messenger between the general student body and those who hold positions and make the decisions in student council.
I plan on keeping the students informed by using as many means as necessary. Whether it be e-mail, which I have recently learned how to use, or posting flyers up with various announcements, I will make sure that there is no doubt as to what the student council is up to.
Considering the recent concern with the safety of the school, I will make sure that if there are any impending attacks, there will be no doubts as to whether they are occurring and how one can help stop it from happening, as well as how to avoid getting hurt in the event that such attacks should occur. This would include escape routes, saftey zones, etc. I might not have had as much experience as my opponent in these matters, but having lived in a place where pirates frequently tried to overrun our island, I believe I have a fair amount of knowledge as to avoiding trouble.
MODERATOR: Ye be talkin' about how wonderful all yer ideas are. Give us three things about why yer opponent be not Satan.
LEHANE: Well, I'm not best friends with Elizabeth. But she seems like an incredibly nice girl- she seems polite, even to those running in other parties. She seems smart- I mean, she's running for student council. She is also someone who seems to be well spoken and aware of what she wants to do- she has it together.
SWANN: As Faith said, we are not very good friends. But from what I've heard, she did a good job defending the school from zombies, she can be quite nice, and is one of the few people who didn't try to attack the mime, according to some of my friends on the second floor, at least. She holds a great deal of honor, which is important when running for office.
MODERATOR: Should some horrifying cafeteria concoction cause ye to exaggerate yer most annoyin' characteristic, what would ye be doing?
LEHANE: Hm. I'd probably start feeling compelled to like, save and protect everyone. Sometimes, these Slayer instincts, they just get out of control, and it's annoying as anything.
SWANN: My most annoying characteristic...although I am not entirely sure myself, it would probably cause me to whine about how much I do not want to marry Norrington and complain about my current state of my love life. I would be lying if I said I didn't have any annoying characteristics, so it is probably best to be up front.
MODERATOR: How do you feel about Barry Manilow? Kenny G? That one annoying white-boy band who think's they're reggae and ruins perfectly good Cure songs?
LEHANE: I'm not a fan of Barry. Kenny, I like that one song of his, with the radio clips. And ruining Cure songs? 100% unacceptable.
SWANN: I have never heard any of these bands. Are these modern? I am not up to date with the music of this time period, and therefore cannot answer.
MODERATOR: Argh! Do any o' ye be likin' pirates?
LEHANE: I love pirates. Lots and lots.
MODERATOR: Exactly how many people here
LEHANE: No, no, I am willing to be open with the student body. Would the question asker like some ratings, cause I could give them that, too.
Four men, two women. As far as I remember.
TREASURER CANDIDATES
MODERATOR: Miss Jenkins, let's get this started. As a candidate for this position, how do you view the position of Treasurer in our unique environment, what are your goals, and how do you plan to achieve those goals?
JENKINS: The treasurer should hold the money, invest the money, and make more money. My goal is to have more money!
MODERATOR: Ye be talkin' about how wonderful all yer ideas are. Give us three things about why yer opponent be not Satan.
JENKINS: I actually have met Satan, or someone that introduced himself as Satan anyway. I still have doubts about him being 'Satan, Satan' since I am fairly certain Satan wouldn't wear flowered swim trunks and a bird shaped flotation device, but I guess you never know. You know those underworld demons...What was the question again?
MODERATOR: Miss Jenkins, I want you to say three nice things about your opponent.
JENKINS: Sorry, just started thinking about those horrendous swim trunks again. *shudders*
My opponent has not campaigned much which was very nice of her, but I've never actually met her so I don't know what else to add to that.
MODERATOR: What level of responsibility and accountability do you feel your position will owe to both the student body and to the administration?
JENKINS: My responsibility will be to take care of the money and make more of it. Since it's money, there will be accounting....
MODERATOR: Should some horrifying cafeteria concoction cause ye to exaggerate yer most annoyin' characteristic, what would ye be doing?
JENKINS: I actually prefer not to eat in the cafeteria. I mean after the horrible zombie eating incident. Did you see what it did to Rory? And Angelus, well, people are still talking about that.
MODERATOR: How do you feel about Barry Manilow? Kenny G? That one annoying white-boy band who think's they're reggae and ruins perfectly good Cure songs?
JENKINS: I haven't met Barry or Kenny yet, but I heard they are both very nice.
And yes, that one boy in a band is very annoying and should be fired immediately.
MODERATOR: How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
JENKINS: It depends. What kind of a woodchuck?
MODERATOR: If all zips are zoodles and some zoodles are zips why is grass green?
JENKINS: Grass is green so that bunnies can't hide in it. I know, you're all thinking 'Why would cute little bunnies hide?' but I'm here to tell you, it's not all marshmallow and Easter eggs.
no subject
I bet Barbossa could write a newspaper column on booze and, and exploring the seas or something...no subject
How often would this hypothetical column be needed?no subject
weekly, bi-weekly or monthly - up to you. Hypothetically, of course.no subject
I could probably kick something out twice a month. Hypothetically.