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fandom_radio2009-05-31 01:12 am
capt-maxfactor.livejournal.com) wrote in fandom_radio2009-05-31 01:12 am
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Pirate Radio [Saturday, May 30]
Hello, imaginary people through the microphone! Hello, my drunken little rodent minions! This is Captain Jack Sparrow, here to provide you the news, such as it is, for today. Which is what again? Oh, Saturday! I love Saturdays! Drinks all around!
School! With its learning!
Well, there was no real learning today, only horrible, horrible detention. Ask Zack, Tony, Karla, Morgana, Fiona, John Sheppard or Jaina if you'd like the details. As for me, well, I'm just going to assume they were flogged by the mainsail.
Dorms! Where the children play!
Oh, there must be some drama today! The squirrels all have popcorn. Shall we get to it, then?
Arthur is covered in smelly ointment and what the squirrels assure me are terribly sexy wounds this morning. Leto complains about the smell, which somehow turns into a discussion of the potential offspring of Zack and Dinah before Leto goes off for breakfast. I assume someone was drunk. Merlin comes in and gives Arthur a rubdown. The squirrels assure me this is very, very dirty. Peyton makes a few phonecalls to Angela and Dean. Apparently, Peyton has found her mother and they are all going to see her! How delightful. Angela was thoughtful enough to leave her roommate a note before leaving, just in case he doesn't listen to this terribly insightful and witty broadcast.
Chuck has imported some housewives to entertain him for the day--lovely--and Diana emerges from the closet wearing many sashes. How odd. Effy and Alex spend the day flirting with each other, and Francine flails all over Morgana, which sounds tremendously uncomfortable for both parties.
Leto is watching a show called Dark Serpent: oh, one of those delightful things with scantily clad wenches? I love those! Arthur finds it hilarious. I agree, the acting certainly tends to be lacking something, but then, who's watching for the dialogue? In related news, Fiona wants Arthur to recommend someone to teach her about swordfighting. If you're a wench with a sword, it's best to be upfront about that before any money exchanges hands. It's much less awkward that way. Tony is a big fan of Dark Serpent--the squirrels find that tremendously amusing for some reason--and Fiona approaches him asking for help understanding idioms. Oh, I love idioms! I shall use some throughout the broadcast now. It'll be a theme! And then--oh, here's where the popcorn comes in--Leto and Fiona beginning making out--there's an idiom!--in the common room. No word about if they made it to second base--another idiom!--but Dinah certainly got an eyeful before leaving the room awkwardly.
Wait. I thought Fiona was with someone else. Weren't there dates with other people not named Leto? The squirrels are drawing me a flowchart...no, I still don't understand. But in my defense, I have also been drinking.
Dinah then went for a run along the beach, as you do, especially if you are being chased by cannibalistic natives, and chats with Leda--who is not Leto in case I am not enunciating enough--and then stops to watch Griff sketch, which leads to a discussion of the Fiona and Leto--and I'm quoting--snugglefest.
This is going to be good.
In the fifth floor common room Jaina is watching a science fiction movie after her detention. John Sheppard asks if she is lost, they talk about cleaning up alligator guts, and then they go over the rules of girlfriends. There are rules? I suppose that must be why I get slapped frequently. Katina and Jaina speak of Katina's sentient...clock. Really. In less strange news, Jennifer was there with an evidence bag, which she was hauling around with her for a class. Fascinating. Tahiri wanted to know if Jaina is related to a soccer player with the same last name of Solo...less fascinating, but I'm not a sports fan. Tahiri then went down to the fourth floor to keep watching the game, where she was interrupted by her roommate Hurley, even though neither of them live on this floor. Perhaps the food is superior on this floor, or that Jaina girl smells oddly.
I bet it's the second one. Later this evening Fiona is being sad on the roof--you were kissed quite thoroughly earlier today, wench, what do you have to complain about?--before yet another lad named Himura shows up to talk to her. This is how young girls get reputations.
Speaking of reputations, Merlin is in his room this evening--reading, not rubbing anyone down--before Francine the flailer stops by. The squirrels are also waving their popcorn buckets around for this. I think the squirrels need to stop drinking.
Town, where everyone is at an orgy but me
But first, people had to work, as no one has yet figured out how to be a professional orgier. That is completely a word. Hush, rodents.
Ned made chocolate chip pie at the diner. That sounds interesting. Rodents, get me some pie!
*thunk*
Ow, that was a nut and not pie. Gwynn was trying not to awaken her boss at the Gig--did he fall asleep in the stable, too? I knew a man like that. Drinking problem--before Tully came in on crutches to see his horse. You must be...quite close to your horse. Not that I'm judging!
...much. Hurley didn't enjoy the crocodile rock playing at Groovy Tunes today, and Mary was equally unhappy with Gunther's attempt to serve alligator at the hotel. Jess seemed afraid to go outside once he arrived at the book store. Are you running from a crazy ex-girlfriend of some kind? I've been there, my friend. Turtle opens the store named after her and Jon comes in to ask what he missed. I think that depends on how long you've been gone. Zack also drops by to tell her about his punishment over at the school. Was it flogging? I still believe it was flogging.
Charlotte was definitely not looking at dresses at the gallery, Jen pulled the pants off of the staff at the pizza restaurant, which sounds unhealthy, so I think I will eat at Cafe Fina where everyone was quite normal. Perhaps they will serve frog! There seems to be one reading comics in the dungeon! Oh, and we seem to have yet another member of law enforcement--a man called Gibbs, who is certainly not the Gibbs I knew.
And everyone else who is not doing radio tonight is over at Daisy and Deadpool's Slumber Party and Orgy If Biff Has His Way. That seems like a very long title. People arrive! Well, that's tremendously descriptive, squirrel.
*thunk*
You mean this entire ream of paper is the party? Evil, evil rodent. You shall get no pie if you ever fetch it for me. Deadpool meets Sophie and tells her that he hasn't killed anyone in a while. That...is quite a conversation opener, but then a eunuch I used to know told me he practiced with a sword for hours at a time so he could kill pirates, which is really quite a rude thing to mention to a pirate. Daisy is pleased about how well the party, not the not-killing people bit, is going. Biff and Deadpool exchange sexual exploits and orgy hopes, but Daisy tells Biff that the orgy should wait for another night. Biff assures Ghanima that he is not a girl--bet he's a eunuch, which would be a nasty surprise for Sophie, who is flirting with him. Sophie tells Daisy about hiding from alligators yesterday, and Deadpool wonders where Cable's footie pajamas are. Veronica squeals over the baby that Cable brought--there goes the orgy (sorry, Biff and Loki)--and Ghanima promises that she is not an evil, babystealing twin. That's...good to know. Daisy also greets Cable, as a good hostess should. Loki gets...jazzhanded at by Deadpool before getting something I recognize, a kiss, from Daisy. Anakin tears himself from his comlink--whatever that is--to say hello to Deadpool, Veronica, and Daisy. Eliza is not pleased that her flower shop might be thought of as cover for a prostitution ring, even though that would be an excellent addition to our fair town, and makes the acquaintance of Sophie and Daisy. Lily is there in what the rodents assure me are cute pajamas, and is greeted by--you guessed it--Deadpool and Daisy--as is Dani who is not wearing pajamas. I am assuming she is wearing nothing at all, and am now very anxious to meet her. Oh, and Vince blinded the squirrels and Deadpool with his red vinyl, which Daisy doubts is comfortable to sleep in.
Loki scandalizes Mina by explaining what a slumber party is before Daisy greets her. Tim has no idea what he is doing there--wonder if he gets blackouts often--and Veronica brought brownies, which were greeted more enthusiastically than she was by Haley, Deadpool, Mina and Daisy. Haley wonders if Vince can tango before saying hello to Daisy, and Ben treks all the way across the hall to get snarked upon by Deadpool and greeted by Daisy. Ghanima brought pie with her, which is leaped upon--not literally--by Deadpool and Daisy. Brennan brings evil healthy snack food with her, so Deadpool is not impressed, but Daisy thinks this might be the start of a lovely friendship. Arya also has no pajamas, so I assume that means nothing on at all, which draws Tully's attention. Daisy's too. Aaaaaaand Tully arrives late. I'm convinced that there are tumbleweeds rolling through town. Everyone else is stuffed into Daisy's apartment.
There is food and drinks, of course, which is where you will find Cable and Jan, Ronon, and Ben Reilly. Loki and Haley exchange stories about tattoos, and Loki and Ben each assess each other as 'men not normally seen at slumber parties.' And Sophie goes straight for the vodka, meeting Brennan along the way.
There is primping and party games, including Truth or Dare, Spin the Bottle and I Never. There is not a lot of things I never did. Well, spending the entire night at a wench's house, maybe...
At Caritas, Griff and Dinah were drinking moji's toes? That can't be right--and laughing. They're probably also eating the pretzels Marion put into bowls before they arrived. I would like some pretzels, too, rodents.
*thunk*
Ow. Dinah and Griff stumble home, as I so often do because land is a lot harder to keep upright upon than the sea. Just don't end up in the flight shed, children. I hear that man is insane. And at the clinic, Ino was yawning as she studied. May I suggest not studying? It makes things so much easier. And that's it!
*thunk*
Oh, yes! We have new broadcasters to announce! Congratulations to Arthur, Katina and Lacey, Brooke and Jaina, Deadpool, Emmett and Chuck, the Winchesters, and Turtle and Valentine. There will be a staff meeting sometime next week! And that's it. This has been Captain Jack Sparrow! Good night!
School! With its learning!
Well, there was no real learning today, only horrible, horrible detention. Ask Zack, Tony, Karla, Morgana, Fiona, John Sheppard or Jaina if you'd like the details. As for me, well, I'm just going to assume they were flogged by the mainsail.
Dorms! Where the children play!
Oh, there must be some drama today! The squirrels all have popcorn. Shall we get to it, then?
Arthur is covered in smelly ointment and what the squirrels assure me are terribly sexy wounds this morning. Leto complains about the smell, which somehow turns into a discussion of the potential offspring of Zack and Dinah before Leto goes off for breakfast. I assume someone was drunk. Merlin comes in and gives Arthur a rubdown. The squirrels assure me this is very, very dirty. Peyton makes a few phonecalls to Angela and Dean. Apparently, Peyton has found her mother and they are all going to see her! How delightful. Angela was thoughtful enough to leave her roommate a note before leaving, just in case he doesn't listen to this terribly insightful and witty broadcast.
Chuck has imported some housewives to entertain him for the day--lovely--and Diana emerges from the closet wearing many sashes. How odd. Effy and Alex spend the day flirting with each other, and Francine flails all over Morgana, which sounds tremendously uncomfortable for both parties.
Leto is watching a show called Dark Serpent: oh, one of those delightful things with scantily clad wenches? I love those! Arthur finds it hilarious. I agree, the acting certainly tends to be lacking something, but then, who's watching for the dialogue? In related news, Fiona wants Arthur to recommend someone to teach her about swordfighting. If you're a wench with a sword, it's best to be upfront about that before any money exchanges hands. It's much less awkward that way. Tony is a big fan of Dark Serpent--the squirrels find that tremendously amusing for some reason--and Fiona approaches him asking for help understanding idioms. Oh, I love idioms! I shall use some throughout the broadcast now. It'll be a theme! And then--oh, here's where the popcorn comes in--Leto and Fiona beginning making out--there's an idiom!--in the common room. No word about if they made it to second base--another idiom!--but Dinah certainly got an eyeful before leaving the room awkwardly.
Wait. I thought Fiona was with someone else. Weren't there dates with other people not named Leto? The squirrels are drawing me a flowchart...no, I still don't understand. But in my defense, I have also been drinking.
Dinah then went for a run along the beach, as you do, especially if you are being chased by cannibalistic natives, and chats with Leda--who is not Leto in case I am not enunciating enough--and then stops to watch Griff sketch, which leads to a discussion of the Fiona and Leto--and I'm quoting--snugglefest.
This is going to be good.
In the fifth floor common room Jaina is watching a science fiction movie after her detention. John Sheppard asks if she is lost, they talk about cleaning up alligator guts, and then they go over the rules of girlfriends. There are rules? I suppose that must be why I get slapped frequently. Katina and Jaina speak of Katina's sentient...clock. Really. In less strange news, Jennifer was there with an evidence bag, which she was hauling around with her for a class. Fascinating. Tahiri wanted to know if Jaina is related to a soccer player with the same last name of Solo...less fascinating, but I'm not a sports fan. Tahiri then went down to the fourth floor to keep watching the game, where she was interrupted by her roommate Hurley, even though neither of them live on this floor. Perhaps the food is superior on this floor, or that Jaina girl smells oddly.
I bet it's the second one. Later this evening Fiona is being sad on the roof--you were kissed quite thoroughly earlier today, wench, what do you have to complain about?--before yet another lad named Himura shows up to talk to her. This is how young girls get reputations.
Speaking of reputations, Merlin is in his room this evening--reading, not rubbing anyone down--before Francine the flailer stops by. The squirrels are also waving their popcorn buckets around for this. I think the squirrels need to stop drinking.
Town, where everyone is at an orgy but me
But first, people had to work, as no one has yet figured out how to be a professional orgier. That is completely a word. Hush, rodents.
Ned made chocolate chip pie at the diner. That sounds interesting. Rodents, get me some pie!
*thunk*
Ow, that was a nut and not pie. Gwynn was trying not to awaken her boss at the Gig--did he fall asleep in the stable, too? I knew a man like that. Drinking problem--before Tully came in on crutches to see his horse. You must be...quite close to your horse. Not that I'm judging!
...much. Hurley didn't enjoy the crocodile rock playing at Groovy Tunes today, and Mary was equally unhappy with Gunther's attempt to serve alligator at the hotel. Jess seemed afraid to go outside once he arrived at the book store. Are you running from a crazy ex-girlfriend of some kind? I've been there, my friend. Turtle opens the store named after her and Jon comes in to ask what he missed. I think that depends on how long you've been gone. Zack also drops by to tell her about his punishment over at the school. Was it flogging? I still believe it was flogging.
Charlotte was definitely not looking at dresses at the gallery, Jen pulled the pants off of the staff at the pizza restaurant, which sounds unhealthy, so I think I will eat at Cafe Fina where everyone was quite normal. Perhaps they will serve frog! There seems to be one reading comics in the dungeon! Oh, and we seem to have yet another member of law enforcement--a man called Gibbs, who is certainly not the Gibbs I knew.
And everyone else who is not doing radio tonight is over at Daisy and Deadpool's Slumber Party and Orgy If Biff Has His Way. That seems like a very long title. People arrive! Well, that's tremendously descriptive, squirrel.
*thunk*
You mean this entire ream of paper is the party? Evil, evil rodent. You shall get no pie if you ever fetch it for me. Deadpool meets Sophie and tells her that he hasn't killed anyone in a while. That...is quite a conversation opener, but then a eunuch I used to know told me he practiced with a sword for hours at a time so he could kill pirates, which is really quite a rude thing to mention to a pirate. Daisy is pleased about how well the party, not the not-killing people bit, is going. Biff and Deadpool exchange sexual exploits and orgy hopes, but Daisy tells Biff that the orgy should wait for another night. Biff assures Ghanima that he is not a girl--bet he's a eunuch, which would be a nasty surprise for Sophie, who is flirting with him. Sophie tells Daisy about hiding from alligators yesterday, and Deadpool wonders where Cable's footie pajamas are. Veronica squeals over the baby that Cable brought--there goes the orgy (sorry, Biff and Loki)--and Ghanima promises that she is not an evil, babystealing twin. That's...good to know. Daisy also greets Cable, as a good hostess should. Loki gets...jazzhanded at by Deadpool before getting something I recognize, a kiss, from Daisy. Anakin tears himself from his comlink--whatever that is--to say hello to Deadpool, Veronica, and Daisy. Eliza is not pleased that her flower shop might be thought of as cover for a prostitution ring, even though that would be an excellent addition to our fair town, and makes the acquaintance of Sophie and Daisy. Lily is there in what the rodents assure me are cute pajamas, and is greeted by--you guessed it--Deadpool and Daisy--as is Dani who is not wearing pajamas. I am assuming she is wearing nothing at all, and am now very anxious to meet her. Oh, and Vince blinded the squirrels and Deadpool with his red vinyl, which Daisy doubts is comfortable to sleep in.
Loki scandalizes Mina by explaining what a slumber party is before Daisy greets her. Tim has no idea what he is doing there--wonder if he gets blackouts often--and Veronica brought brownies, which were greeted more enthusiastically than she was by Haley, Deadpool, Mina and Daisy. Haley wonders if Vince can tango before saying hello to Daisy, and Ben treks all the way across the hall to get snarked upon by Deadpool and greeted by Daisy. Ghanima brought pie with her, which is leaped upon--not literally--by Deadpool and Daisy. Brennan brings evil healthy snack food with her, so Deadpool is not impressed, but Daisy thinks this might be the start of a lovely friendship. Arya also has no pajamas, so I assume that means nothing on at all, which draws Tully's attention. Daisy's too. Aaaaaaand Tully arrives late. I'm convinced that there are tumbleweeds rolling through town. Everyone else is stuffed into Daisy's apartment.
There is food and drinks, of course, which is where you will find Cable and Jan, Ronon, and Ben Reilly. Loki and Haley exchange stories about tattoos, and Loki and Ben each assess each other as 'men not normally seen at slumber parties.' And Sophie goes straight for the vodka, meeting Brennan along the way.
There is primping and party games, including Truth or Dare, Spin the Bottle and I Never. There is not a lot of things I never did. Well, spending the entire night at a wench's house, maybe...
At Caritas, Griff and Dinah were drinking moji's toes? That can't be right--and laughing. They're probably also eating the pretzels Marion put into bowls before they arrived. I would like some pretzels, too, rodents.
*thunk*
Ow. Dinah and Griff stumble home, as I so often do because land is a lot harder to keep upright upon than the sea. Just don't end up in the flight shed, children. I hear that man is insane. And at the clinic, Ino was yawning as she studied. May I suggest not studying? It makes things so much easier. And that's it!
*thunk*
Oh, yes! We have new broadcasters to announce! Congratulations to Arthur, Katina and Lacey, Brooke and Jaina, Deadpool, Emmett and Chuck, the Winchesters, and Turtle and Valentine. There will be a staff meeting sometime next week! And that's it. This has been Captain Jack Sparrow! Good night!
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