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fandom_radio2009-02-15 02:39 am
trustshisbarber.livejournal.com) wrote in fandom_radio2009-02-15 02:39 am
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Fandom Radio, Saturday, February 14th
Good evening, Fandom. Listen up, it's time for the news. This is your host, J. Jonah Jameson. Happy Valentine's Day to those of you with a significant other. I had a lovely phone call with my lovely wife who sent me here. At least she didn't make me take her to an expensive restaurant this year. You have to look for silver linings, I think. And the silver lining for those of you without someone is that you also didn't have to take anyone to an expensive restaurant. Let that help you deal with your crushing loneliness tonight.
Starting off, SCHOOL news.
Mac was in the library, hiding from the big, scary holiday. Get a date next year so library patrons don't have do deal with that, okay?
And now, DORM news.
Arthur and Jenny woke up together... Seriously, kids, I don't want to read about this and you don't want to hear me reading about this. If you're going to get into that kind of crap on a Friday night, have the decency to sneak back to your room before the squirrels wake up, okay? Anyway, Merlin had the joy of walking in on the morning after. You deserve better than that, Funny Name. Maybe not much better, but a little better.
Cal and Claire also woke up together. You know, I think I'm taking a vacation day the Saturday after Prom. I think we'll all be happier for it. If anyone else makes me report on the aftermath of what they did last night, I swear that I'll launch into a lecture about safe sex. Don't think I won't!
Chuck - oh god, here we go - read and watched TV. Alone? Huh. Thank you, Chuck Bass, for sparing both myself and all of my listeners.
Liir and Amber... Fine! Before you go to a high school dance, be sure of three things. First, figure out whether or not you're ready to have sex. Guess what: YOU'RE NOT. You won't be until you're well into your thirties, but that's not going to stop anyone. So second, figure out where to get some condoms. Check local stores. Turtle & Canary might have them, I don't know. I'm suspecting Kwik Stop has them, and you're probably less likely to run into one of your classmates there, so it might be the better place if you're likely to be embarrassed. Third, figure out whether or not you want to be a parent or diseased. If the answer to either of those is 'no,' be sure to either not have sex or use those condoms that you bought, even though that does still give you a chance to be either. That's right, if you have sex, you have the risks even if you are trying to be safe. The only foolproof method is abstinence. Have fun with that information, kids.
Now, to avoid having to go over all that again, I'm going to assume that anyone who woke up together did so after an all night game of Monopoly.
Dinah and Leto had a game of chess... No, really, the notes say that. Momoko woke up to flowers and fortune cookies, Kaylee and Ned woke up to flowers and the realization that Ned landed on Boardwalk with a hotel on it, Claudia spent the afternoon painting, Dean picked Peyton up for a date, and Penelope and Hurley had a bit of a flower exhange. And Katina was painting on the roof before being interrupted by Momoko.
Ben visited Tahiri and was very proud of himself for getting her traditional flowers. Did you hear that last paragraph I read? Everyone else managed to get traditional flowers too. Congratulations, you're just as good as everyone else. Angela had a girl's night in all alone with her flowers, Joan brought Marco chocolate, and my TA, Rikku, and Reno had to decide who got to be the little dog piece before they could play another game.
Dinah had a visit from Merlin, who apparently couldn't stay in his room because somebody had both utilities. Francine had comics - they're crap - and flowers, which were sent by Merlin, who had stopped by to confirm that she got them. She also had a visit from Alice, who heard about Merlin being stranded. So has everyone listening tonight. Don't you love the squirrels?
In the third floor common room, Leto and Alice woke up on the couch, where I assume there was no Monopoly being played since, a) public place, b) the notes state that they were still in their clothes from last night. Good for you, kids! The squirrels also note that the two of you were being cute, which kind of makes me want to vomit. Ender walked in on the nauseating scene and introduced himself to Leto before they talked about the dance. That should only be expected, I suppose.
And now, to TOWN news, which is probably mostly about people on dates while my wife is in New York and I'm here.
John and Jaina had a movie date at Movie Sign Theater - and what kind of crap name is that for a theater? Turtle opened up Grocery Sign Store - see? That naming is horrible - and there were all kinds of flowers and decorations. Fantastic. Jen brought J,GoB cupcakes for the staff at Pizza Planet, Robin opened up the Den of Idolizing Masked Menaces, and John Winchester opened The Magic Box where he planned for something in the near future.
At Groovy Tunes, Hurley was playing songs by guys named Barry. Hopefully not Barry Williams. I can't stand that guy. The Arms Hotel showcased Viki's great work ethic once again. And Loki left presents and notes for everyone at MHA. The entire building is his valentine. The man takes being a landlord to a terrifying new level, but I may be alone in that opinion. And Buffy went out on patrol in the cemetery, which sounds like the aftermath of a successful Valentine's Day.
And finally, Joan delivered flowers all over town, and people couldn't hide their excitement over them.
And then, of course, there was an event for a bunch of single people who had nothing better to do for twenty minutes on Valentine's Day than try desperately to find true love by trusting in a crazed woman with a whistle at Caritas This should be good.
Let's see, before...
*sound of door opening*
What? YOU! What are you-- *a THWIP sound followed by a THWAP very near the microphone* *a few more thwips*
Spider-Man: Sorry for the interruption, but what's a pirate radio station without a hostile takeover every now and then. I'm your friendly, visiting-from-out-of-town Spider-Man, and I can't help but think that anybody - seriously, ANYBODY - would be better to report on the romantic happenings at the bar tonight than my old pal Jolly Jonah here, so, well, I guess it's up to me to do just that.
Let's start with the bar before the event. Tully, Jack, Eliza, Ghanima, and Alice where there to talk, get liquid courage, or, I don't know, just hang around a bit.
In Rou... Wait, is there a bell anywhere? It feels like I need a bell. Oh, hey, little squirrel friend. You're very resourceful. In ROUND 1 *ding ding ding* we start off with THE WARRIORS, Adora and Worf. You know, they say that love is a battlefield and I think that makes these two crazy kids that much better suited for a shot at the big l. Don't you agree, Jonah?
Jonah: Mmmmrf.
Spider-Man: I knew that you were just a crazy old romantic at heart. I hear that the J stands for 'Jinormous Heart.' Can you confirm or deny?
Jonah: Mmmmrrrfff!!!
Spider-Man: Tsk. Such language. Anyway, Jack and Alex had what I imagine to have been a lovely time, Alice and Prince Edward agreed that it was, in fact, a date, Buffy and Ronan compared stories, and the furniture tried to butt in on Dor and Dinah. That's just rude. Liz and Eowyn met up and I'm betting that their date was made-of-wyn. No? Eh, they can't all be winners.
Hannibal and Toby had a date that could have led to some good times that I'm far too innocent to talk about afterwards. Remember, I'm not just a superhero, I'm also a semi-impressionable semi-young mind, so let's keep it clean, please. Zayne and K-Mart talked about the drawbacks of dating zombies. You know, I don't think it would be that weird. Ask anyone what they look for in a significant other and I bet a lot of them say 'intelligence.' Ask a zombie and they'll say 'brains.' Pretty much the same thing. Ben and Arya had a date that did not involve the coincidentally named German industrial rock band, Dröttningu. But their smash hit, Sie Haben Eine Schöne Milz, would be great on the soundtrack to any romance. Daisy and Biff got into the roleplaying a little early in the evening, deciding to be Violent and Pedro instead. You know, I think I voted for that guy.
Captain Hammer and Sean discussed loudness and, hey, buddies, this is a family show. Well, I assume. We are on pretty late, though, so I could be wrong about that. But I am a family superhero and I don't need to hear about that. Dana and Tully made with the small talk while Loki and Eliza reminisced about their previous meeting in which neither one of them was themself. Minsc and Ghanima talked about adventuring, Nathan and Lindsay talked adjustments, Rusty and Martha talked about themselves, and Tony and Mina talked about dating.
ROUND TWO *ding ding ding* brought us Adora and Liz, Alex and Zayne comparing training, and Worf and Alice discussing dancing bacon, which is what I believe people called Jumping Jonah back in college. I don't know the whole story behind that, but I believe it has something to do with dancing. Possibly bacon, too.
Brooke and The Edward Royally Knows As Prince - that reference isn't too dated, is it? - discussed why he was really there. Buffy and Jack had a weird-off: his name versus his mane. Who will win? I think it's clear that we all win when those two do battle. Dinah and Robin talked animals, the furniture butted into Dor's date with K-Mart, and Eowyn and Hannibal got into the right mood for the evening by flirting so much that the squirrels used three i's in flirty.
And that's nothing compared to the number of i's they used to describe Toby and Ronan's dirty conversation. I'd ask what it was about, but, you know, innocent. More pairings! Arya and Tully, Ben and Lindsay, Hammer and Martha, Abbot and Costello, and Larry and Moe but not Curly. I know. It's weird on so many levels.
Rusty and Daisy were only slightly awkward while Nathan and Dana discussed whether or not it was a bad idea to date your housemate. We polled one hundred squirrels and the number one answer is... YES! Horrible idea. But it makes for entertaining radio, and JJ here needs something to spice up his broadcasts. You know, aside from the random complaints about masked menaces.
I should note that I'm not a menace, I'm a an amateur smart aleck. But I am masked, so he's halfway there.
Minsc and Eliza had a date that was both confusing and amusing and possibly other -usings for her as well. Ghanima and Loki discussed his adorable dimples - yes, I said it. They make you want to pinch his cheeks. The cheeks on his face. Family show, remember? Geez. And Tony Stark used his date with Sean as an excuse to want to drink. Just don't get carried away with that stuff, okay? Okay.
ROUND THREE *ding ding ding* brought us Nathan and Mina talking about hobbies, Adora and Zayne discussing all of her merits as a girlfriend from A to Z, and a lovely date for Alex and Robin. Alex and Jack had a very interesting discussion about what they've been, and the table still had it in for Dor on his date with Brooke.
Hannibal told Buffy - and everyone else about the dancing monkeys on his boxers. If he didn't mind a bar hearing about that, I'm sure he won't mind the rest of Fandom knowing. Dinah and Worf talked about fighting and you know what? I think I'm sensing a trend with this guy. Call me crazy, but it's there. Eowyn and K-Mart had a date and I spared you all a horrible joke about what a certain store could use as a new slogan because I like you all that much. I don't know you guys, but if I did, we'd be like that.
I'm crossing my fingers to indicate how close all of you and I would be. You can't see that because it's radio. Jonah can see it. Strangely enough, we're also like this, aside from all the libel. He rants because he loves. You can't spell 'man with anger issues' without 'thangeri' which I think is Esperanto for 'friendship.' Somebody look it up if you have a chance.
Ronan and Liz talked about the evening so far, Toby and Edward talked about how Toby likes boys, and Arya and Minsc really should have been a hard rock tour. That's a missed opportunity is what it is. Ben and Ghanima talked about a duck who smashed his window. It better not be Howard. I teamed up with that guy one time. It was kind of nuts. Also nuts? The accent Biff used on his date with Lindsay. Daisy and the Captain discussed his name, Dana and Rusty talked about their jobs, and Tully and Eliza talked about the lighthouse. Loki charmed Sean , while Tony and Martha talked about life out of the clinic and how it makes you prettier.
ROUND FOUR *ding ding ding* brought us what was sure to be a lovely date between Adora and Prince Edward, as well as Alex and Dor discussing a magical evening. Okay, they were actually discussing magic. But they did it during the evening, so I say it counts. What do you say, Jonah?
Jonah: MMMMRRRRRRF!
Spider-Man: I think he agrees with me. Alice and Ronan talked about names, Brooke and Hannibal talked about superstars, and Buffy and Worf talked about being warriors. I'm guessing she's Firestar and he's Speedball. That joke is probably lost on many of you. That's okay.
Dinah and Liz talked about dinosaurs, Eowyn and Jack talked about their tours of duty on the island, and K-Mart and Robin discussed his frogliness. Toby and Zayne discussed poetry, Arya and Tony spent time in each others' company, and Ben and Eliza were apparently talking about all kinds of silliness.
Biff and Dana apparently really hit it off because they've already agreed to get together another time. And with that, Three Minute Dates already sounds like a success! Hammer-Man and Mina discussed... well, Captain Hammer. The man wears his logo on a t-shirt. That's the kind of thing you have to discuss.
Daisy and Tully had a date in which it was clear that Daisy was in a better mood than she was last night. Ghanima and Rusty had a conversation about deserts. Loki asked Lindsay about a walk of shame. And Nathan and Sean realized they were better off just being friends.
And if I'm doing my math correctly, that brings us to THE SUDDEN DEATH ROUND: ROUND 5! *DING DING DING DING DING DI*
I think I broke the bell. Sorry, squirrels. Jittery Jonah will get you a new one.
Jonah: MMMMMRRRRFRFRFFFRFFR.
Spider-Man: You're so agreeable tonight!
Let's get some lightning round action going. Pairings: Adora and Hannibal, Alex and Edward, Arya and Nathan, Martha and Ben, Lindsay and Tully.
We're in the home stretch now! Alice and Zayne talked about the alphabet which is appropriate since... wait, I already made an A to Z joke. Zayne. Buddy. Don't date girls with first names beginning with A. It's clearly played out for you. Brooke and Eowyn discussed not being lesbians or ladies of the night and this IS a family show, don't make me remind you again. The table, meanwhile, kept its streak up and interrupted Dor and Buffy's date.
That table is a jerk.
Jack and Dinah were almost two American kids growing up in the Heartland but not quite. K-Mart and Ronan talked about underage drinking - just say no, kids! And Robin and Liz talked about YouTube.
And in the wettest news of the night, Toby threw a drink at Worf. Toby truly has the heart of a warrior. A warrior with a drink.
Ghanima and Biff talked about friends and family, Dana and Cap had a wonderful time with each other, Daisy and Stark didn't exactly have a great time, and I think I know who's at fault for that one (drinky drinky), Eliza and Rusty talked about getting out more often, and, finally, Loki and Mina were intrigued by each other.
And now for the post game. Ben stopped eyeing everyone suspiciously in favor of helping to cheer Daisy up. Arya wound down with some ale, Minsc and Boo had a couple species-appropriate drinks, Alex had a soda, and Jack was happy with his results.
And that just about finishes things up here from WTFH radio. I'm Spider-Man and this is my co-host, Jazzy Jonah Jameson, wishing you and yours a happy and safe night.
[OOC: Please note that Ben uses a slightly different tone while speaking as Spider-Man and that the mask muffles his voice a little, so while the voice might sound familiar, it won't be too recognizable as Ben's. People who know Peter Parker's superhero name are free to wonder what he was doing there. People who suspect that Ben is Peter using a fake name and bad dye job (ahem, Deadpool) are free to use this as they will.
Really, I just couldn't resist.]
Starting off, SCHOOL news.
Mac was in the library, hiding from the big, scary holiday. Get a date next year so library patrons don't have do deal with that, okay?
And now, DORM news.
Arthur and Jenny woke up together... Seriously, kids, I don't want to read about this and you don't want to hear me reading about this. If you're going to get into that kind of crap on a Friday night, have the decency to sneak back to your room before the squirrels wake up, okay? Anyway, Merlin had the joy of walking in on the morning after. You deserve better than that, Funny Name. Maybe not much better, but a little better.
Cal and Claire also woke up together. You know, I think I'm taking a vacation day the Saturday after Prom. I think we'll all be happier for it. If anyone else makes me report on the aftermath of what they did last night, I swear that I'll launch into a lecture about safe sex. Don't think I won't!
Chuck - oh god, here we go - read and watched TV. Alone? Huh. Thank you, Chuck Bass, for sparing both myself and all of my listeners.
Liir and Amber... Fine! Before you go to a high school dance, be sure of three things. First, figure out whether or not you're ready to have sex. Guess what: YOU'RE NOT. You won't be until you're well into your thirties, but that's not going to stop anyone. So second, figure out where to get some condoms. Check local stores. Turtle & Canary might have them, I don't know. I'm suspecting Kwik Stop has them, and you're probably less likely to run into one of your classmates there, so it might be the better place if you're likely to be embarrassed. Third, figure out whether or not you want to be a parent or diseased. If the answer to either of those is 'no,' be sure to either not have sex or use those condoms that you bought, even though that does still give you a chance to be either. That's right, if you have sex, you have the risks even if you are trying to be safe. The only foolproof method is abstinence. Have fun with that information, kids.
Now, to avoid having to go over all that again, I'm going to assume that anyone who woke up together did so after an all night game of Monopoly.
Dinah and Leto had a game of chess... No, really, the notes say that. Momoko woke up to flowers and fortune cookies, Kaylee and Ned woke up to flowers and the realization that Ned landed on Boardwalk with a hotel on it, Claudia spent the afternoon painting, Dean picked Peyton up for a date, and Penelope and Hurley had a bit of a flower exhange. And Katina was painting on the roof before being interrupted by Momoko.
Ben visited Tahiri and was very proud of himself for getting her traditional flowers. Did you hear that last paragraph I read? Everyone else managed to get traditional flowers too. Congratulations, you're just as good as everyone else. Angela had a girl's night in all alone with her flowers, Joan brought Marco chocolate, and my TA, Rikku, and Reno had to decide who got to be the little dog piece before they could play another game.
Dinah had a visit from Merlin, who apparently couldn't stay in his room because somebody had both utilities. Francine had comics - they're crap - and flowers, which were sent by Merlin, who had stopped by to confirm that she got them. She also had a visit from Alice, who heard about Merlin being stranded. So has everyone listening tonight. Don't you love the squirrels?
In the third floor common room, Leto and Alice woke up on the couch, where I assume there was no Monopoly being played since, a) public place, b) the notes state that they were still in their clothes from last night. Good for you, kids! The squirrels also note that the two of you were being cute, which kind of makes me want to vomit. Ender walked in on the nauseating scene and introduced himself to Leto before they talked about the dance. That should only be expected, I suppose.
And now, to TOWN news, which is probably mostly about people on dates while my wife is in New York and I'm here.
John and Jaina had a movie date at Movie Sign Theater - and what kind of crap name is that for a theater? Turtle opened up Grocery Sign Store - see? That naming is horrible - and there were all kinds of flowers and decorations. Fantastic. Jen brought J,GoB cupcakes for the staff at Pizza Planet, Robin opened up the Den of Idolizing Masked Menaces, and John Winchester opened The Magic Box where he planned for something in the near future.
At Groovy Tunes, Hurley was playing songs by guys named Barry. Hopefully not Barry Williams. I can't stand that guy. The Arms Hotel showcased Viki's great work ethic once again. And Loki left presents and notes for everyone at MHA. The entire building is his valentine. The man takes being a landlord to a terrifying new level, but I may be alone in that opinion. And Buffy went out on patrol in the cemetery, which sounds like the aftermath of a successful Valentine's Day.
And finally, Joan delivered flowers all over town, and people couldn't hide their excitement over them.
And then, of course, there was an event for a bunch of single people who had nothing better to do for twenty minutes on Valentine's Day than try desperately to find true love by trusting in a crazed woman with a whistle at Caritas This should be good.
Let's see, before...
*sound of door opening*
What? YOU! What are you-- *a THWIP sound followed by a THWAP very near the microphone* *a few more thwips*
Spider-Man: Sorry for the interruption, but what's a pirate radio station without a hostile takeover every now and then. I'm your friendly, visiting-from-out-of-town Spider-Man, and I can't help but think that anybody - seriously, ANYBODY - would be better to report on the romantic happenings at the bar tonight than my old pal Jolly Jonah here, so, well, I guess it's up to me to do just that.
Let's start with the bar before the event. Tully, Jack, Eliza, Ghanima, and Alice where there to talk, get liquid courage, or, I don't know, just hang around a bit.
In Rou... Wait, is there a bell anywhere? It feels like I need a bell. Oh, hey, little squirrel friend. You're very resourceful. In ROUND 1 *ding ding ding* we start off with THE WARRIORS, Adora and Worf. You know, they say that love is a battlefield and I think that makes these two crazy kids that much better suited for a shot at the big l. Don't you agree, Jonah?
Jonah: Mmmmrf.
Spider-Man: I knew that you were just a crazy old romantic at heart. I hear that the J stands for 'Jinormous Heart.' Can you confirm or deny?
Jonah: Mmmmrrrfff!!!
Spider-Man: Tsk. Such language. Anyway, Jack and Alex had what I imagine to have been a lovely time, Alice and Prince Edward agreed that it was, in fact, a date, Buffy and Ronan compared stories, and the furniture tried to butt in on Dor and Dinah. That's just rude. Liz and Eowyn met up and I'm betting that their date was made-of-wyn. No? Eh, they can't all be winners.
Hannibal and Toby had a date that could have led to some good times that I'm far too innocent to talk about afterwards. Remember, I'm not just a superhero, I'm also a semi-impressionable semi-young mind, so let's keep it clean, please. Zayne and K-Mart talked about the drawbacks of dating zombies. You know, I don't think it would be that weird. Ask anyone what they look for in a significant other and I bet a lot of them say 'intelligence.' Ask a zombie and they'll say 'brains.' Pretty much the same thing. Ben and Arya had a date that did not involve the coincidentally named German industrial rock band, Dröttningu. But their smash hit, Sie Haben Eine Schöne Milz, would be great on the soundtrack to any romance. Daisy and Biff got into the roleplaying a little early in the evening, deciding to be Violent and Pedro instead. You know, I think I voted for that guy.
Captain Hammer and Sean discussed loudness and, hey, buddies, this is a family show. Well, I assume. We are on pretty late, though, so I could be wrong about that. But I am a family superhero and I don't need to hear about that. Dana and Tully made with the small talk while Loki and Eliza reminisced about their previous meeting in which neither one of them was themself. Minsc and Ghanima talked about adventuring, Nathan and Lindsay talked adjustments, Rusty and Martha talked about themselves, and Tony and Mina talked about dating.
ROUND TWO *ding ding ding* brought us Adora and Liz, Alex and Zayne comparing training, and Worf and Alice discussing dancing bacon, which is what I believe people called Jumping Jonah back in college. I don't know the whole story behind that, but I believe it has something to do with dancing. Possibly bacon, too.
Brooke and The Edward Royally Knows As Prince - that reference isn't too dated, is it? - discussed why he was really there. Buffy and Jack had a weird-off: his name versus his mane. Who will win? I think it's clear that we all win when those two do battle. Dinah and Robin talked animals, the furniture butted into Dor's date with K-Mart, and Eowyn and Hannibal got into the right mood for the evening by flirting so much that the squirrels used three i's in flirty.
And that's nothing compared to the number of i's they used to describe Toby and Ronan's dirty conversation. I'd ask what it was about, but, you know, innocent. More pairings! Arya and Tully, Ben and Lindsay, Hammer and Martha, Abbot and Costello, and Larry and Moe but not Curly. I know. It's weird on so many levels.
Rusty and Daisy were only slightly awkward while Nathan and Dana discussed whether or not it was a bad idea to date your housemate. We polled one hundred squirrels and the number one answer is... YES! Horrible idea. But it makes for entertaining radio, and JJ here needs something to spice up his broadcasts. You know, aside from the random complaints about masked menaces.
I should note that I'm not a menace, I'm a an amateur smart aleck. But I am masked, so he's halfway there.
Minsc and Eliza had a date that was both confusing and amusing and possibly other -usings for her as well. Ghanima and Loki discussed his adorable dimples - yes, I said it. They make you want to pinch his cheeks. The cheeks on his face. Family show, remember? Geez. And Tony Stark used his date with Sean as an excuse to want to drink. Just don't get carried away with that stuff, okay? Okay.
ROUND THREE *ding ding ding* brought us Nathan and Mina talking about hobbies, Adora and Zayne discussing all of her merits as a girlfriend from A to Z, and a lovely date for Alex and Robin. Alex and Jack had a very interesting discussion about what they've been, and the table still had it in for Dor on his date with Brooke.
Hannibal told Buffy - and everyone else about the dancing monkeys on his boxers. If he didn't mind a bar hearing about that, I'm sure he won't mind the rest of Fandom knowing. Dinah and Worf talked about fighting and you know what? I think I'm sensing a trend with this guy. Call me crazy, but it's there. Eowyn and K-Mart had a date and I spared you all a horrible joke about what a certain store could use as a new slogan because I like you all that much. I don't know you guys, but if I did, we'd be like that.
I'm crossing my fingers to indicate how close all of you and I would be. You can't see that because it's radio. Jonah can see it. Strangely enough, we're also like this, aside from all the libel. He rants because he loves. You can't spell 'man with anger issues' without 'thangeri' which I think is Esperanto for 'friendship.' Somebody look it up if you have a chance.
Ronan and Liz talked about the evening so far, Toby and Edward talked about how Toby likes boys, and Arya and Minsc really should have been a hard rock tour. That's a missed opportunity is what it is. Ben and Ghanima talked about a duck who smashed his window. It better not be Howard. I teamed up with that guy one time. It was kind of nuts. Also nuts? The accent Biff used on his date with Lindsay. Daisy and the Captain discussed his name, Dana and Rusty talked about their jobs, and Tully and Eliza talked about the lighthouse. Loki charmed Sean , while Tony and Martha talked about life out of the clinic and how it makes you prettier.
ROUND FOUR *ding ding ding* brought us what was sure to be a lovely date between Adora and Prince Edward, as well as Alex and Dor discussing a magical evening. Okay, they were actually discussing magic. But they did it during the evening, so I say it counts. What do you say, Jonah?
Jonah: MMMMRRRRRRF!
Spider-Man: I think he agrees with me. Alice and Ronan talked about names, Brooke and Hannibal talked about superstars, and Buffy and Worf talked about being warriors. I'm guessing she's Firestar and he's Speedball. That joke is probably lost on many of you. That's okay.
Dinah and Liz talked about dinosaurs, Eowyn and Jack talked about their tours of duty on the island, and K-Mart and Robin discussed his frogliness. Toby and Zayne discussed poetry, Arya and Tony spent time in each others' company, and Ben and Eliza were apparently talking about all kinds of silliness.
Biff and Dana apparently really hit it off because they've already agreed to get together another time. And with that, Three Minute Dates already sounds like a success! Hammer-Man and Mina discussed... well, Captain Hammer. The man wears his logo on a t-shirt. That's the kind of thing you have to discuss.
Daisy and Tully had a date in which it was clear that Daisy was in a better mood than she was last night. Ghanima and Rusty had a conversation about deserts. Loki asked Lindsay about a walk of shame. And Nathan and Sean realized they were better off just being friends.
And if I'm doing my math correctly, that brings us to THE SUDDEN DEATH ROUND: ROUND 5! *DING DING DING DING DING DI*
I think I broke the bell. Sorry, squirrels. Jittery Jonah will get you a new one.
Jonah: MMMMMRRRRFRFRFFFRFFR.
Spider-Man: You're so agreeable tonight!
Let's get some lightning round action going. Pairings: Adora and Hannibal, Alex and Edward, Arya and Nathan, Martha and Ben, Lindsay and Tully.
We're in the home stretch now! Alice and Zayne talked about the alphabet which is appropriate since... wait, I already made an A to Z joke. Zayne. Buddy. Don't date girls with first names beginning with A. It's clearly played out for you. Brooke and Eowyn discussed not being lesbians or ladies of the night and this IS a family show, don't make me remind you again. The table, meanwhile, kept its streak up and interrupted Dor and Buffy's date.
That table is a jerk.
Jack and Dinah were almost two American kids growing up in the Heartland but not quite. K-Mart and Ronan talked about underage drinking - just say no, kids! And Robin and Liz talked about YouTube.
And in the wettest news of the night, Toby threw a drink at Worf. Toby truly has the heart of a warrior. A warrior with a drink.
Ghanima and Biff talked about friends and family, Dana and Cap had a wonderful time with each other, Daisy and Stark didn't exactly have a great time, and I think I know who's at fault for that one (drinky drinky), Eliza and Rusty talked about getting out more often, and, finally, Loki and Mina were intrigued by each other.
And now for the post game. Ben stopped eyeing everyone suspiciously in favor of helping to cheer Daisy up. Arya wound down with some ale, Minsc and Boo had a couple species-appropriate drinks, Alex had a soda, and Jack was happy with his results.
And that just about finishes things up here from WTFH radio. I'm Spider-Man and this is my co-host, Jazzy Jonah Jameson, wishing you and yours a happy and safe night.
[OOC: Please note that Ben uses a slightly different tone while speaking as Spider-Man and that the mask muffles his voice a little, so while the voice might sound familiar, it won't be too recognizable as Ben's. People who know Peter Parker's superhero name are free to wonder what he was doing there. People who suspect that Ben is Peter using a fake name and bad dye job (ahem, Deadpool) are free to use this as they will.
Really, I just couldn't resist.]
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[ooc: heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!]
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