Fandom Radio [Thursday, September 18]

[canadianpopstar.livejournal.com]

Robin: I can't believe you followed me here. This is my job.

Victoria: If you'd just let me explain, I --

Robin: Save it, I'm not interested. Now shut up, we're on the air. Hi, Fandom, you're listening to Robin Scherbatsky once again, bringing you all the news of weird and annoying things happening all throughout the island. And this radio station.

Victoria: He --

Robin: SSH I'M REPORTING.



School, where the tiny children go to learn and crap

Robin: Now, you stay quiet while I report. So anyway, there was school today. Leadership talked about visions, presumably not the psychic kind, and people paid attention until they were put in groups to work out those visions. And of course, there was a TA and a teacher.

*pause*

Here, be useful. *sound of paper rustling*

Victoria: So, I just read this?

Robin: Yes. Moron

Victoria: ...so anyway, Literature class, they talked about fairy tales. There was a lecture, and then discussions on fables versus fairy tales, morals, and folklore. Reno had a word with Miss Bennet, who brought some poems for her TA, Friday. Like that?

Robin: What, do you want a gold star or something? In Aviation, there was a dog in class, and then Murdock talked about how flight works. As you might expect, in an aviation class. In the library, Dean brought Sam lunch and questioned him about his sex life, and speaking of, Peter came in so they could make out.

Victoria: Awww, that sounds like my high school!

Robin: No one cares. Keep reading.

Victoria: The Doctor -- Doctor who?

Robin: Um, this broadcast is not open for your questions.

Victoria: Anyway, he tinkered during his office hours. Anakin had a bad feeling in his, and got visits from Tyler, Jaina, Ben, Inara, and Sam Carter, and he made a phone call to Luke. Also in their offices were Mr. Bond and Mr. Cullen. This is supposed to be news?

Robin: Shut up, your job is making cupcakes.

Dorms, where the children live and stuff

Robin: Liir turned into a cat, and this is getting old, people. Ben left for the weekend, Chad chilled while Ichigo napped, Karal crashed with Evey, Jack played with a ball in his room -- gross -- and Teyla talked to Romeo about this tournament thing and the other island. Yeah, what's up with that?

Victoria: Yeah, I don't know.

Robin: No one asked you.

Victoria: ...do you want me to keep reading?

Robin: *SIGH* If you must.

Victoria: I can stop?

Robin: Look, you're eating up my airtime. Read or get off the pot, or whatever.

Victoria: ...there were posters for Dor running for student council, and Turtle whined at him and made him do some kind of crazy magic so the posters talked. Ino and Dojima got in some shooting practice, which included some chatting about boys and stuff. God, girls that old with guns?

Robin: YOU ARE ON NOTICE, MISSY.

Victoria: Wha --?

Robin: SHUT UP AND GIVE ME THE NOTES. Turtle was campaigning all over, and she ran into Marco, Ella, Ned and Amber, all of whom got some sort of campaign memorbilia or promises. Jeff was eating chips and also campaigning for Turtle, who came in and said campaigning is hard. Duh. Harvey put up his posters, too, which involve a platform of shirtlessness. Romeo talked to him about wet shirts for the girls -- nice try, guys, Turtle figured out he wasn't competition, Amber introduced herself, and Toby was all pissy because his idea got stolen!

Victoria: Yeah, like he invented shirtlessness.

Robin: MAYBE HE DID. YOU DON'T KNOW.

Victoria: ...okay, maybe he did. And finally, Myn attempted to cook tonight, until Tahiri insulted him.

Town, which is all of this island that I've actually seen

Victoria: Gabriel, who I never met, obviously, left. Dale got an unpleasant phone call, Chad and Ichigo left the island, and Jolee got a young, blond visitor. Oooooh.

Robin: ...gross, that's my boss.

Victoria: Sorry. Worf was paranoid out in the woods, and Wendy got her ass kicked by...herself. Weird. Over at Town Hall, Cable and Zoe met with our mayor and principal, and then there was a meeting.

Robin: I'm covering that. You're the enemy, lame though you might be. Concerned citizens arrived to see what was up, and then everyone listened and chatted. My boyfriend, Benton, who you may not steal talked to Roy about patrols, and then to Cable, who went on to talk to Roy about that freaky tournament thing. Zoe met Indiana Jones, who's going to help out, and then Roy checked in with her before heading back to the station.

Victoria: Robin, I'm not going to steal your boyfriend. If anyone stole anyone's boyfriend, y--

Robin: Finish that sentence and so help me you will wake up hanging from a lightpost by your ankles.

Victoria: ...that was weirdly descriptive.

Robin: I've had time to think about how much I dislike you.

Victoria: ...um. I'll just keep reading, then! Jamie played paper football by himself in Turtle and Canary, and got a visit from a Grape Judas-craving Jack. Peyton was gloomy at Groovy Tunes, and an olive-catching Cal got visits from Ino and Amber over in Luke's, and the latter put up posters for Turtle and Harvey on the bulletin board. Katina was filling up her sketchbooks at Stroke of Genius, and at the Magic Box, Ami helped her new boss learn about phones and Google. Important things.

Robin: Stop being sarcastic, it's unattractive on you. Hoshi had a bad feeling over at the Arms, but that didn't stop her from getting Cal the stripper pole suite for tomorrow night. At the gallery, Eve had a book, which is a lot more boring than what happened there earlier, with Charlotte and Dale. I hope you're okay, Charlotte!

Victoria: Aww, you do have a heart.

Robin: Die in a fire. Murdock walked his three dogs, or rather two dogs plus his girlfriend. Tony worked at the theater, and put Robin-who-isn't-me to work, and Edward was out in the preserve, doing whatever it is that Edward does.

Victoria: Over in the clinic, Igor was feeling uneasy, and Molly came in for stitches, while the nurses were on duty in the evening. At Caritas --

Robin: NUH UH. You don't get to recap that. Mine.

Victoria: Huh?

Robin: Give me that. My bar shift, my recap. *papers rustling* Cupcakes McRainbows over here came in and we 'caught up' --

Victoria: Nice air quotes there.

Robin: -- and apparently her mother never told her it's rude to interrupt people. Chuck, who just skyrocketed to the top of my favorite kids list, offered to sleep with her to get her to go away.

Victoria: I -- wha --

Robin: It's okay, I told him how you're a total blue-balling prude. Dan stupidly tried to pick a fight with Chuck, but then got transported out of the bar when he tried to punch him in the face. Barbossa was sad because of the rum shortage due to some other random pirate, and Barney made me physically ill. Oh my god, I need to brush my teeth. Vesper -- good god, and I thought my name sucked -- looks like that bitchy short girl. My boyfriend who you still can't seduce away, bee-yotch and I had...some words. *cough*

Victoria: Did you just call me bee-yotch? I don't think you can pull that off.

Robin: Then 'bitch' will have to do. Shut up, bitch. Barbossa hit on Bitchy over here -- ha! -- and she didn't successfully seduce Benton away with her cute shoes and pianos and shiny hair and cleavagey dresses and Germany and cupcakes. Darkonda and Jack both got drinks, and...another Victoria came in and looked around before taking off. God, how many of you are there? And over in the lounge, we had Dolores and Lestat.


Victoria: And that's it!

Robin: Thank god. Now I'm going home to try to see if Benton'll talk to me, or if you've messed up another relationship of mine.

Victoria: You and Ted weren't --

Robin: Whatever. Say goodnight.

Victoria: Um. Goodnight!