Fandom Radio, Tuesday, August 5th

[raspberryturk]

Reno: First squirrel that writes "Wark" at me gets their head held in a bottle of rum until they stop strugglin'. Just sayin'-- Oh, we on the air? Dammit. Uh. Yo, Fandom!

Jenny: I've missed something hilarious again, haven't I?

*Squirrel chittering!*

Reno: .... No. No you didn't. We, uh, got notes? We do, right? [[Censor beep]], I need some ru-- Jenny. There's a freaky little tusked thing swimmin' in our bottle tonight. I'm gonna need more rum, now.

Jenny: It'll pass out soon. Just drink around it.

Reno: Ain't half as bad as a mezcal worm, I guess. But at least the worms are dead and pickled. We got notes?

Jenny: We do indeed have notes! You start, I'll try to get the thingy out of our rum.

Reno: Good luck with that, yo.

School, Where People Learn Stuff

Reno: In the Right Tools, they talked about rifles today, yo. So many freakin' awesome classes this semester, so few available class slots on my daily schedule, yo. There was note takin' and people looked over a Goliath, which probably pleased everyone but River, who wasn't a happy TA today, yo. And then Lee talked at Kerrigan about how the radio made him her bi[[Censor beep]]. Radio did that? Yo, Jenny. We got power! In that other class I really wish I freakin' signed up for, Robin talked about pot. The students had mixed reactions before they all acted like stoners. Rikku and Doji passed notes about bongs- always an interestin' topic for passin' notes on, yo. And Brooke was there to act like a TA. Talkin' about substance abuse, how's that rum comin' along, Jenny?

Jenny: It's definitely drunk. I just can't quite get it out of there. Anyway. How Not to Get Killed class learned about the uses of an ordinary cardboard box, which I believe would be 'to hold things.' Not sure how it will keep you from getting killed. They listened, then discussed the usefulness of the box, and then had to make it to another door while in a box without getting killed. Weird. Basic Auto Mechanics first listened to their professor talk about changing spark plugs, and then actually did so. Underwater Basketweaving combined swimming and holding their breaths. Yeah, just a tip? The other way doesn't work so well. They first listened to a lecture, presumably on how the other way doesn't work so well, then paired up to swim. And their teachers, Lulu and Juli--wait, are they teachers or strip--

*chitter*

Jenny: The squirrels don't think I should finish that sentence. Anyway, they were there if anyone wanted to talk to them.

Reno: In the library, Aminimmy and Worf were talkin' about dangerous books. Books can't possibly be anything as dangerous as finned tusky things swimmin' in the booze, I don't think. In office hours, it was time for a water fight because the water cooler is fixed. I'm makin' a mental note to keep that in mind for the water cooler at my own work in the future, yo. Nathan was workin' on class plans for the next semester, and Ghanima was hearin' voices. Really? Were they sayin' anything good? Lilly and Marshall were talkin' about bunyips- is that what the freakish bottle-beast is? And cockameese-mice-mouses-whatever. And then Marshall turned into a pineapple. ... Better him than me, yo.

Cabins, Where People Camp and Stuff

Jenny: I don't know, I think you'd make a good pineapple. All spiky-like. Lana came to get Ino to go on the bridge climb. Lois probably wishes she was climbing a bridge. Instead she's stuck in Locker 327. Meg turned into a Barbie doll and Chuck turned into a kitten, and Amber went to see Cal but the squirrel got distracted and doesn't know what was said. That's no fun. At Tiniest Penguin tonight Kaylee experimented with toasting fresh fruit over the campfire. I'm thinking this will end in tears and burnt fruit, but that could just be me. Chad and his horrorshow cat came by and Kaylee Doubleyou-Tee-Effed at it. What does--oh, what the [[censor beep]], couldn't you have just written that out? Silly squirrels. Ronan greeted Chad and they talked about how Teddy apparently has his own cat now. Hannibal came over to check out the fruit, and Flaming Irish--I'm sorry, Ronan--talked to Kaylee about the roasting properties of different fruits. Fascinating topic, I'm sure. And then Hannibal and Ronan met. At Curious Chicklet, Katchoo had a sketchbook and a large cloud of smoke. Ned asked her if she needed a fire extinguisher and she was kind of a [[censor beep]] to him. This sounds like my kind of girl!

Reno: Nobody gets between a smoker and their cloud. The end.

Town, Where People Work and Stuff

Reno: Jack was sleepin' at Photo Hut today, which proves just how excitin' his job is, yo. At Café Fina, Fai was bein' all repressy an' crap. At T&C, G'kar had critters in the back room. Dirty? Yanno what, I don't wanna know. Liir came in with a list that included a soccer ball and some food... things. Murdock pushed himself for the sake of a sparring session at the Atlas Gym, where Amber came in to spar and tease him about bein' all little over the weekend. Man. The things you miss when- hey, more notes.... NO. NO, we're not readin' that one. We ain't. S'cuse me, I'm grabbin' my lighter, I'll be a moment.

Jenny: I'll read it. Wuss. Romeo found a bunyip in the toilets at Pixie Dust--oh is that what they are? They're called bunyips, people! Google it!--and Yurika came in carrying Reno, who was a bird, looking for tiny bird clothes for him to wear. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA. Ahem. Liir set up some sort of game in the park, ew sport, and Johnny joined him for a game. A newt--why am I reporting on newts?--a newt was sleeping on the beach when it was harassed by a bunyip. And then it turned into a naked Warren, who made a mad dash back to the dorms while the squirrels watched and gave scores. I retract my complaint about having to report on a newt.

Reno: *Mumblegrumbleumbletinybirdclothesmy-* SO. At the Groovy Tunes, Alice stepped away from the Alphabet and spent the day listenin' to some group called Radiohead, yo. Mary was late to work at the Arms because she had a nightmare about bein' on the Iron Chef. I was on that show once. I blame Ron, and someday he shall suffer for that. And Lana was all on time and stuff at Book Haven. At the best bar on the planet, Donut was behind the bar. Amber stopped in for a drink after the play- the play is still on? You're kiddin' me. - And she got mashed up Skittles in vodka. Sounds sweet. Huh. Charlotte stopped in for a Cosmo, and apologized to Amber for not goin' to see the play yet. You know, you had ample time to do it, yo. It's been runnin' since, like, last week. Unless you turned into a slug or somethin'. Then maybe you got an excuse.

Jenny: Right, I meant to see that this weekend. Instead I got drunk, it was fab. And it looks like I'm not going to get to see the play, because tonight was the final performance! Oops. Turtle, Hoshi, Hinata, and Andrew picked up their tickets at the box office, and Hoshi and Turtle chatted about trying out for the next play. It may already be casting. We may still be casting this one. I don't even know. People found seats, including Hinata. Turtle came over to chat with her, and Hinata told her the play didn't have a happy ending. No [[censor beep]], it's Titus Andronicus! Professors Murdock and Garrett sat together. Teacher romance? You be the judge. Backstage, Geoffrey was relieved no one was twelve, until Amber threw her lipstick at the mirror. Then he was less relieved.

Reno: G'kar gave Geoffrey back his coat, and Geoffrey was all happy an' stuff to have one of his adult actors back. Which leads to me to wonder if he's prejudiced against child actors or somethin'. A word of warnin' to you students out there. Geoffrey hates kids. Just sayin'. Cal had himself some backstage jitters, which probably weren't helped much with Amber starin' at him like she was. At least the kid-hater checked on him because he looked like hell the last show. Also backstage, Naomi prepared for the show an' stuff. The play went on, of course, and then Geoffrey gave notes... Seriously? Run's, like, over or whatever, and there are still notes? Kid-hater's almost as much of a nitpick as my boss, yo. And then the show was over! And Amber was outside tellin' Andrew about how she saw Liir in the nude. Huh. Murdock introduced that Garrett person to Amber, too. And then Hoshi and G'kar talked about the show and learnin' Narn. You go, guys.

Jenny: I do not believe Narn is actually a language. I think you made that up.

Reno: I think it's just fun to say. I bet we could spend all night comin' up with things that word could actually mean. If we were more drunk. Is that thing still swimmin' in the rum? If it wasn't a bunyip, we could call that a Narn, yo.

Jenny: Hee. Bunyip is kind of a funny word, too. And it's still in the bottle. [[Censor beep]]ing Australia.

Reno: See, where I come from, we kinda equate "down under" with dark and kinda smelly? It's brighter here. And less slummy. But c'mon, keep your freakin' bunyips outta my booze.

Jenny: I still vote we drink around it.

Reno: ... You know. When I stopped bein' a bird today, I was naked and wearin' women's jewelry. I'm about ready to drink around the freakin' tusky thing.

Jenny: There you go. Sometimes you have to say screw it and drink from the bottle with the bunyip. Also I am never going to stop laughing at you.

Reno: I hate you. Give me the marinated critter booze. Good night, Fandom. I'm gettin' drunk on bunyip.


[And once again, huge kudos to the_merriest, who saved me from serious coding fail tonight and she deserves pie. Give her pie, I say.]

Comments

[suit-of-sables.livejournal.com]

Geoffrey staaaared at the radio.

"Final performance? FINAL PERFORMANCE?"

He nearly grabbed the poor thing and shook it but held off just in time.

"It's not the final performance. We've got two more shows! Where did it say final performance! What?!"

Oh this wasn't going to be a good week.