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fandom_radio2008-06-22 12:33 am
suit-of-awesome.livejournal.com) wrote in fandom_radio2008-06-22 12:33 am
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Fandom Radio [Saturday, June 21 BDE]
I'm not sure why I'm broadcasting tonight given half of you were probably killed by the six-headed monster in the lake, but the squirrels are insisting and holding my Glenury Royal hostage in the meantime. Scrawny rodents. *sound of plinking*
God! Stop hitting me with nuts! Alright already!
School, Where You are Obviously Learning Nothing
So that Mac chick opens the library and some idiots come in to research. What? You want the names of the idiots that should've been fleeing the island while they had the chance? Fine! In the morning there was Friday, G'Kar, Ned, Mike, Francine, and Vala who all came in and had meaningful and deep conversations with Mac. By the way, Vala! Saw you passed out on the lawn last night, hot stuff. This is why you should invite me along when you're hitting the bar. Just sayin.' Apparently there was need for research rather than calling in for some gigantic army tanks equipped with dudes with guns. Said research was accomplished by your very own geek squad, consisting of *deep breath* Chris, Vala, Juli, Ned, Liir, Hoshi, Tony, Mohinder, G'Kar, Summer, and Francine.
OH MY GOD. Listen up, folks - The Cougar was kidnapped by that dude with a blue flame for hair. You researchy types had better find something good, because we gotta get back our Coog! Think of the children!
Dorms, Where You Should Learn to Hide Better
Breasty Jeff wakes up and decides staying in bed with the G-F is the way to go. I couldn't agree more. Sex and snacks beat monsters every time. Isabel wakes up and decides to go after Michael while her much smarter B-F keeps the bed warm. Savannah wakes up and Johnny ties her to the bed...this can't be right. *Sound of shuffling papers* He just left? No sex? No dirty? Waste of zip ties if you ask me. Oh, okay Johnny returns to find Savannah has left, being a witch and capable of magic. Why'd you wait so long to use it then, witchy? In different news, Rikku text messages her friends before stopping by Dawn's room where there is no worry.
In one of those common rooms I can only imagine is like a porno studio, Lion-O is forced to eat his dinner by Snarf. Sure. He's eating his dinner. *cough* Right.
Kids, you know that pond you like to picnic by with your girls and try to get in their pants after dark on cool evenings? Yeah, that pond has a monster with SIX *radio feedback* HEADS! Ino seems to think she can play with the monster but SHOOTING IT DOESN'T MAKE IT DIE! You hear that Scherbatsky? Even your rifle can't save you now! Rikku throws down and Katara gives it brainfreeze and wants her boytoy back. Seriously? NOW IS NOT THE TIME FOR SLURPEES!
Town, Where There's a Six-Headed Monster and it's not Scherbatsky
It seems Tink did the smart thing and got the hell out of dodge while the going was good. What? No room in the portal for one more?
And this is the part where the idiots got kidnapped. Woe is me. Maybe I won't have to write a final exam for them after all. Or maybe it'll be called 'NOT GETTING EATEN BY *FEEDBACK*-ING MONSTERS DURING SUMMER VACAY'!
Let's list the idiots because they're gone and there's really no point in discussing how other than the one chick who apparently did a musical number. So, we have *deep breath* Gwen, Zukko, Isabel who knew better, The Idiot Mountie, Andros who needs a haircut, Gwynn who is not Gwen, Inara who tried logic PLEASE!, Amber who is not stone, Bridge who might be, Lana who bled, Geoffrey not Fraser, John who isn't careful, Sam and Dean who think Wincest will save them, Temari who was seriously headed for the gym *sighs*, Marco who isn't a vending machine and why would people think he was..., Adah who is hot, Fearless Alice, Blair who was trying to flee, Z who is a letter, Evey who had bombs, and Giselle who I am told sang and danced like it was a game.
Okay, again, I feel the need to point out that THERE ARE MONSTERS. WHY THE HELL ARE YOU PEOPLE OPENING STORES? *smacking of head against table* I need better quality drinks for this. *sound of crackling ice* *gulping* Ahh. Okay, idiots opened shit. Like Bridge opened Stark Industries and Steve stopped in to tell him to go home. Smart man. Michael opened the diner, Gunther opened the hotel, Toby opened Pixie Dust, Kevin opened the gallery and shockingly NO ONE CAME BY. Perhaps they were busy elsewhere not dying. Or they were Murdock chatting up Mohinder about the flamey god guy instead of checking on security with Roy at the Trooper Station like Aly. Her BFF in costume tangles with a ghost on his way to the bar.
In really screwed up monster news, Hades summoned his minions and got in his evil chariot and talked way too loud for so early in the morning about making us leave the island before sending his fugly creatures.
Seely sunbathed with a bronze man on the beach while Roy checked out a ghostie on MY STREET? Damnit and also on the AA, Steve saw gryphons overhead. Lulu and her boobs weren't prepared for a chimera and Murdock tangled with a minotaur by the hotel. Possibly Mary's new beau. Jaina of the hot dogs got a piece of a cyclops in the junk yard. Literally, Scherbatsky. LITERALLY. Instead of a J,GOB muffin, Ella got a bite of labia. No, lamia, my bad. The cyclops found Sokka in the preserve. John, and we're going to assume the old one here because the one with silly hair got his ass kidnapped earlier, patrolled and found that pesky chimera. Alec, who the squirrel says is 'hawt lik brrning' and I'll just take his little word for it, found trouble in the form of a Manticore while Gladys got hit on by a Satyr. Jenny from the block fried herself up some Stym-whatever birds. Hope she gathered a few eggs for breakfast since there's no way of knowing if the T&C survived this.
Thank god mini-me isn't working the clinic today, but we get Adah, who we can hope is hot. She told Brooke that Lucas, of Sam and Lucas, isn't going to die and let Brooke sit at his coma-side. Igor traded off patients with Adah who was all talky blah blah who cares there are MONSTERS again which we know because Alec needs treatment, people.
Tino opened our beloved bar, Caritas during the day and a lizard took refuge. Well, at least he didn't get eaten by the Scylla. In the evening, Jaye joined him and was her lovely self. Scherbatsky showed and talked about what was a puppy with Jaye. I vote for baby dogs. It's like tradition or something because Lacey thought the dogs were adorable. Try thinking that when you have to walk them. Naturally, I was there and got either scotch or goodbye sex from Jaye. So close people, so close. Lacey has fear like a normal person and compared notes with Murdock about the monsters before telling Jaye about the armored bears. Murdock just wanted coffee and Jaye was in shock. Savannah drank vodka since we can only hope she dumped Mr. Ties-Me-Up-and-Leaves-Me-Without-A-Bucket for a guy with kinder B-D-S-M habits.
At some point in all the madness, what's left of Fandom's Leadership decides it is IMPERATIVE to get back Dean Cougar and meets at Town Hall. Roy and D'Argo of the Tongue confer with Principal Washburn while Ned called from the library with the necessary information. About time kids, really. How long does it take to Google 'big effing monsters from hell'? Some other idiots volunteered to go off in search of artefacts blah blah blah.
That's it? Sweet, I'm off to find me some end of the world sex! Good luck and good night!
[OOC: This is dedicated to Emily because she said so. Also I RAWK AT DRUNK COKDING BOOYAH!]
God! Stop hitting me with nuts! Alright already!
School, Where You are Obviously Learning Nothing
So that Mac chick opens the library and some idiots come in to research. What? You want the names of the idiots that should've been fleeing the island while they had the chance? Fine! In the morning there was Friday, G'Kar, Ned, Mike, Francine, and Vala who all came in and had meaningful and deep conversations with Mac. By the way, Vala! Saw you passed out on the lawn last night, hot stuff. This is why you should invite me along when you're hitting the bar. Just sayin.' Apparently there was need for research rather than calling in for some gigantic army tanks equipped with dudes with guns. Said research was accomplished by your very own geek squad, consisting of *deep breath* Chris, Vala, Juli, Ned, Liir, Hoshi, Tony, Mohinder, G'Kar, Summer, and Francine.
OH MY GOD. Listen up, folks - The Cougar was kidnapped by that dude with a blue flame for hair. You researchy types had better find something good, because we gotta get back our Coog! Think of the children!
Dorms, Where You Should Learn to Hide Better
Breasty Jeff wakes up and decides staying in bed with the G-F is the way to go. I couldn't agree more. Sex and snacks beat monsters every time. Isabel wakes up and decides to go after Michael while her much smarter B-F keeps the bed warm. Savannah wakes up and Johnny ties her to the bed...this can't be right. *Sound of shuffling papers* He just left? No sex? No dirty? Waste of zip ties if you ask me. Oh, okay Johnny returns to find Savannah has left, being a witch and capable of magic. Why'd you wait so long to use it then, witchy? In different news, Rikku text messages her friends before stopping by Dawn's room where there is no worry.
In one of those common rooms I can only imagine is like a porno studio, Lion-O is forced to eat his dinner by Snarf. Sure. He's eating his dinner. *cough* Right.
Kids, you know that pond you like to picnic by with your girls and try to get in their pants after dark on cool evenings? Yeah, that pond has a monster with SIX *radio feedback* HEADS! Ino seems to think she can play with the monster but SHOOTING IT DOESN'T MAKE IT DIE! You hear that Scherbatsky? Even your rifle can't save you now! Rikku throws down and Katara gives it brainfreeze and wants her boytoy back. Seriously? NOW IS NOT THE TIME FOR SLURPEES!
Town, Where There's a Six-Headed Monster and it's not Scherbatsky
It seems Tink did the smart thing and got the hell out of dodge while the going was good. What? No room in the portal for one more?
And this is the part where the idiots got kidnapped. Woe is me. Maybe I won't have to write a final exam for them after all. Or maybe it'll be called 'NOT GETTING EATEN BY *FEEDBACK*-ING MONSTERS DURING SUMMER VACAY'!
Let's list the idiots because they're gone and there's really no point in discussing how other than the one chick who apparently did a musical number. So, we have *deep breath* Gwen, Zukko, Isabel who knew better, The Idiot Mountie, Andros who needs a haircut, Gwynn who is not Gwen, Inara who tried logic PLEASE!, Amber who is not stone, Bridge who might be, Lana who bled, Geoffrey not Fraser, John who isn't careful, Sam and Dean who think Wincest will save them, Temari who was seriously headed for the gym *sighs*, Marco who isn't a vending machine and why would people think he was..., Adah who is hot, Fearless Alice, Blair who was trying to flee, Z who is a letter, Evey who had bombs, and Giselle who I am told sang and danced like it was a game.
Okay, again, I feel the need to point out that THERE ARE MONSTERS. WHY THE HELL ARE YOU PEOPLE OPENING STORES? *smacking of head against table* I need better quality drinks for this. *sound of crackling ice* *gulping* Ahh. Okay, idiots opened shit. Like Bridge opened Stark Industries and Steve stopped in to tell him to go home. Smart man. Michael opened the diner, Gunther opened the hotel, Toby opened Pixie Dust, Kevin opened the gallery and shockingly NO ONE CAME BY. Perhaps they were busy elsewhere not dying. Or they were Murdock chatting up Mohinder about the flamey god guy instead of checking on security with Roy at the Trooper Station like Aly. Her BFF in costume tangles with a ghost on his way to the bar.
In really screwed up monster news, Hades summoned his minions and got in his evil chariot and talked way too loud for so early in the morning about making us leave the island before sending his fugly creatures.
Seely sunbathed with a bronze man on the beach while Roy checked out a ghostie on MY STREET? Damnit and also on the AA, Steve saw gryphons overhead. Lulu and her boobs weren't prepared for a chimera and Murdock tangled with a minotaur by the hotel. Possibly Mary's new beau. Jaina of the hot dogs got a piece of a cyclops in the junk yard. Literally, Scherbatsky. LITERALLY. Instead of a J,GOB muffin, Ella got a bite of labia. No, lamia, my bad. The cyclops found Sokka in the preserve. John, and we're going to assume the old one here because the one with silly hair got his ass kidnapped earlier, patrolled and found that pesky chimera. Alec, who the squirrel says is 'hawt lik brrning' and I'll just take his little word for it, found trouble in the form of a Manticore while Gladys got hit on by a Satyr. Jenny from the block fried herself up some Stym-whatever birds. Hope she gathered a few eggs for breakfast since there's no way of knowing if the T&C survived this.
Thank god mini-me isn't working the clinic today, but we get Adah, who we can hope is hot. She told Brooke that Lucas, of Sam and Lucas, isn't going to die and let Brooke sit at his coma-side. Igor traded off patients with Adah who was all talky blah blah who cares there are MONSTERS again which we know because Alec needs treatment, people.
Tino opened our beloved bar, Caritas during the day and a lizard took refuge. Well, at least he didn't get eaten by the Scylla. In the evening, Jaye joined him and was her lovely self. Scherbatsky showed and talked about what was a puppy with Jaye. I vote for baby dogs. It's like tradition or something because Lacey thought the dogs were adorable. Try thinking that when you have to walk them. Naturally, I was there and got either scotch or goodbye sex from Jaye. So close people, so close. Lacey has fear like a normal person and compared notes with Murdock about the monsters before telling Jaye about the armored bears. Murdock just wanted coffee and Jaye was in shock. Savannah drank vodka since we can only hope she dumped Mr. Ties-Me-Up-and-Leaves-Me-Without-A-Bucket for a guy with kinder B-D-S-M habits.
At some point in all the madness, what's left of Fandom's Leadership decides it is IMPERATIVE to get back Dean Cougar and meets at Town Hall. Roy and D'Argo of the Tongue confer with Principal Washburn while Ned called from the library with the necessary information. About time kids, really. How long does it take to Google 'big effing monsters from hell'? Some other idiots volunteered to go off in search of artefacts blah blah blah.
That's it? Sweet, I'm off to find me some end of the world sex! Good luck and good night!
[OOC: This is dedicated to Emily because she said so. Also I RAWK AT DRUNK COKDING BOOYAH!]
no subject
As she, you know, loaded her boyfriend's shotgun. Just in case.
no subject
Wow. He wanted to break things. Or faces. Or both.
[Awesome broadcast!]
no subject
He was definitely going to do something about it.
no subject
He wasn't going to just sit around and do nothing. He was going to try and help them. Somehow.
[Loved the broadcast!]