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fandom_radio2008-01-08 12:15 am
stocksgrrl.livejournal.com) wrote in fandom_radio2008-01-08 12:15 am
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Fandom Radio :: Monday, January 07.
Jeff: Hello everybody! It's Radio Try-Out time again! Which is really a lot like ordinary radio if you think about it, except with far more ludicrous pressure to be something worthy of a radio broadcaster, which means it's really not quite like ordinary radio at all, and oh my god, what if I end up naked on the air and everyone who's paying attention 'cos they need to pick radio broadcasters will think about it--
Turtle: I knew I shouldn't let you start us out! No one would know if you were naked on air because they can't see you, Jeff. But, to be on the safe side, we're not going to mention 'naked' anymore throughout the entire broadcast, right? Because we really don't need that ruining our continued streak of glory.
Jeff: But that's the issue! They could be able to hear me! Rustling about!
Turtle: *very pointedly rustling papers* There. Rustling papers. Now they won't be able to hear other rustling; not that it matters because you're not naked, anyway.
Jeff: But the potential is there!
Turtle: ....ugh, let's just read the notes? Please?
SCHOOL
Turtle: Start with...school. We actually have notes to report on with regards to school, too, 'cause classes are back in session. Can't you just hear the excitement in my voice?
Jeff: ...No. Should I?
Turtle: No. Applied Inven...Inventio...Invention-whosa-whatsits met today and everyone kindly listened to Mister Glitch's lecture before introducing themselves. They worked on brainstorming, which worked well for some, but not for others, like A.J., who got reassurance that he didn't need to think of something necessarily that day. After class, Liir showed Mister Glitch his broom....good Lord, I hope that means that Liir is looking into a career in sweeping...Willow compliments Mister Glitch on the excellent class before volunteering for the good ol' TA-ship, and Adah swing by to-- holy crap, she talks.
Jeff: Talking's not always a very good idea, you know, being quiet works very well to avoid certain incidents.
Turtle: Lord help us if the reason she doesn't talk is because she's really like you, Jeff. One of you is enough....Today's also the day for Criminal Justice with the fabulous Mister Deadpool. They answer the age old question of "What the heck are you doing taking this class?" I have a feeling that the answer is "Bea Arthur." Just a guess, though. Miss Aly stops by afterwards to chat with Mister Deadpool to see if he survived his first class. Obviously, he did, but just barely, because he called Miss Aly old. Mister French-Name's Maths for Real Life class pulled a shocking move by having introductions today; Michael and Liir are passing notes, tsk tsk, and Michael and Adah are trying to be all secretive in scoping each other out. Robin and Troy are good, though, and actually pay attention. And in Miss Mal Doran's Choose Your Own Government class, they...GASP! had introductions! Way to push the envelope on the first day, Miss Mal Doran! Actually, she did make the class do some work, by getting in groups and talking about what your government can do for you!, but I can't say as much interesting things about that as I can talking about how all everyone does on the first day is introductions, so there you have it.
Jeff: Miss Ghanima introduces an introduction to everything to the students! Anders and Isabel are passing notes, a bit like these notes, but miss Ghanima isn't appreciative of note-passing. I hope she never does radio. Michael watches Wyatt and Isabel flirting-- it's one of those flirting days, isn't it? Of course, it's a Monday, which means there's a flirtary and everything. It affects things on a global scale. The Harlot's Girlfriend and Anders are happy to see each other, much like The Harlot's Girlfriend and the Harlot, no doubt, but then many people seem to be happy to see the Harlot. Then they decide what a myth is and talk about them. And then Billy goes for the TA position...
Turtle: Uh, Jeff? I've actually said we'd stop calling him that. So if we could, y'know...tone down the Harlotness a bit. To maybe, once or twice in a broadcast, that'd be good.
Jeff: But he is what he is, isn't he?
Turtle: He's actually lessened his harlotry significantly. I think.
Jeff: I don't trust his sudden 'lack' of harlotry. Constable Fraser's in the Study Hall and discusses Christmases with miss Aly. Hello! And two new people called Romeo and Amber are talking about where they're from and things like that, which really doesn't matter, 'cos you're in Fandom now! We're all the children of Fandom.
Turtle: Okay, and that's not at all a creepy thought or anything. There was a moose on the loose in the office. If I'd have known that, I'd have gone down and kicked it. Constable Fraser, I really hope you're not disappointed in me. I promise to be a better Moose Kicking Minion in the future!
Jeff: See it as an opportunity to practice your Moose Kicking skills.
Turtle: Mister Skywalker had abnormally happy office hours; Luke stops by for a chat that starts with him thinking is father is possessed, and then feeling awkward about his father's engagement, and then making his father feel awkward because there's a new student who looks like Luke's mom. God, this stuff is better than TV, I tell ya. Ferris stops in to introduce himself and right off the bat, Mister Skywalker warns him against painting his office pink and Jamie. Jaina also pops by to mention that, hey, Mister Skywalker's smiling. And he's all, 'hey, you have hair.' And then the engagement comes up. And then the looks.
Jeff: Was the Captain involved?
Turtle: Captain Morgan?
Jeff: No, The Captain. This new teacher called mister Bond has his office hours and somehow it feels as if I should be saying his first name, too, but that may be a bit rude. Someone else I don't know called Ferris pops 'round to introduce himself. Mister Suresh - I still miss Miss Next - has his office hours, where Ferris who I don't know comes by, as does Mister Cannon, who also meets Ferris who I don't know, and Lulu and then some bloke whose name I can't pronounce -- Leer? That's worse than Jeff! Do people insist on using you as a verb all the time? 'Cos I can sort of see where that may cause some issues down the line.
Turtle: It's Liir, not Leer, Jeff. There's totally a big difference there.
Jeff: It says Leer! And Ferris who I don't know comes by too, again, to ask her about her teaching qualifications. ...Teaching qualifications.
Jeff: The flirtary is open again 'cos Sam's there! And Peter of the Steve determination! Flirting! As does Dawn. Flirt, I mean, and also be there. Can I save this note, too? And Dean bringing lunch! I still don't have anyone bring me anything to eat at the hotel, except for that one time That Weird Bloke Andrew brought me some cookies and Turtle got all cross about it.
Turtle: Lies! Slanderous lies! I did no such thing! But there was a teacher's lounge thingy, too, overseen by the good ol' Moose-Kicking Mountie. Miss Aly was there. She got a preeeeesent.
DORMS
Turtle: Max -- new kid -- crashed in the second floor common room, which, being my common room, is the best, and she watched some TV. Anders, who is still cuter than Marco, shows up and Max thinks he's on crack because he tries to tell her that, um, hello, Fandom isn't exactly normal. It always can be kind of hard for the newbies. I wonder if I was like that. I've been fully assimilated, so I can't really remember. I doubt Jeff had a problem, considering his whole brain is on crack.
Jeff: I've never had crack. My hair just does that.
Turtle: It's very nice hair. *sound of slight hair ruffling*
Jeff: ... ... I love you.
Turtle: I know. Meanwhile, Cassandra is lucky I'm doing radio tonight because the squirrels totally caught her secret about marshmallows, but I'll keep it too, Cassandra, don't worry. She shared them with Max and they talk about how Fandom's a good place to start over. Or, in my case, get started. And then Max gawks at Robin. Because he's a talking frog. He's probably used to it by now. Oh. And I love you, too, Jeff.
Turtle: And then, later, in the fifth floor common room, Seregil --new kid-- discovers that magic that is ANTM. Annette comes in and introduces him to herself and ice cream and they go through the usual getting-to-know-the-newbie drill. Willow comes in and does pretty much the same thing, only without the ice cream, but with an invitation to go dancing.
Jeff: What sort of dancing? Can I go talk to them?
Turtle: I doubt it's that kind of dancing, Jeff. And Michaelangelo is in the fourth floor common room, with a lot of pizza and a big giant turtle costume. Yes. A Turtle...I'm sorry, the Turtle is reporting about a turtle dressed as a turtle. My head hurts. Adam is very impressed, and gets his awe rewarded with a serenade from Mikey. Brooke --new kid-- stares. Because she's a new kid. You'll get used to it, I promise. Needless to say, when Adam waves to Brooke, she's a wee bit on the reluctant, oh-em-gee-double-u-tee-eff side in waving back. Hoshi is there for some food. Just like that. Nevermind the turtle. Yup. A true child of Fandom. Same with Demyx, on a quest for free food! Rikku there, too, and is all, "OMG MIKEY, YAYZ." Yes. With a Z. ...errr, not that Z, the letter Z.
Jeff: Luke's fiddling with electronics and such - I hope you were careful, really, never do that near a television - and John comes by to talk about the new people. And then Gavin stops by to get told how incredibly fine it is that Luke's father is getting remarried, which seems to be getting a lot of emphasis in this. I think Captain Subtext may be speaking to Luke right now. You should be careful about that, he always knows what you're saying and if you're lying... I don't want to talk about it.
Turtle: Capta-- nevermind. Just...nevermind. Continue.
Jeff: Okay. Michael the person I still don't know also comes by to speak about Fandom school versus normal school and Fandom school is really a lot better, isn't it? Except for the fact my mother still chooses most of my classes, but at least I got one of my own in this time. Then Alex hears music and Luke is a bit popular today, isn't he? Maybe they all heard Captain Subtext milling about and gathered like vultures? 'Cos that's really not very nice. 'Cos Dawn comes by to talk about how fine he is, too. And Rikku! Oh god, does that mean I'm going to have to start wearing my protective underwear again? Even Jaina's sharing the Captain's attention today and how has that room not exploded of the subtextual excitement yet?
Turtle: ...Why do I even let you read notes? I'm going to have to start screening them before giving them to you. But, anyway... Ferris -- new kid -- talks to himself as he settles into his room. I've heard of stranger. Adam and Billy play with Sara and talk about soccer-slash-football. Sky --new kid-- comes by for a visit, too; he talks with Billy about villains and normalcy...I'm not sure if that means that they both feel villains are normal or if they're two seperate discussion topics. Sky and Adam also discuss the soccer-slash-football thing, and classes, and Sky says he likes dogs, Jeff. I think we should introduce Sky to Nana.
Jeff: Nana'll put anyone off dogs-- Kabuto stood up my little sister without apologising?! Do I need to come by and help you yell at him, Ino? 'Cos I will! That's what big brothers do! I'm not sure about hitting, but I could throw things, I've gotten very good at throwing things, and I've got a dog...
Turtle: Yell at him, and then send Chad to beat him up. But I'll place my money on Chad failing to do so. Isabel is in her room with biscotti, which Anders, who is cuter than Marco, stops by to share in. She tells him about Michael -- new kid-- and asks that he's nice to him. Is he so bad that you need to tell people to be nice to him? Especially Anders? Who is cuter than Marco? Eesh. Dean gets the same request, with an added incentive to keep an eye on the kid. Man. Am I sure glad none of my family lives here, too, let me tell ya.
TOWN
Jeff: So Sean who isn't actually a new person, which is really sort of a relief when you think of it, you know, new people, they occupy a lot of space, don't they? He opens his sporting goods store! And is visited by the harlot's girlfriend! That poor woman. Chad opens his music store and I hope he's spoken to the new siblings yet. Perhaps next family holiday we should all get together? I think we could make for a reasonable dinner party. I'll bring films.
Turtle: ...I think that sounds even more frightening than one of my family reunions.
Jeff: It'll be excellent! Breasts who I'm not allowed to call Mary anymore-- I mean, Mary who I'm not allowed to call breasts anymore and I really didn't do that on purpose, Turtle, she opens the Arms Hotel! And Joanna who's still really sort of scary is opening up the karting and minigolf store. Range. Wonders of the World! She gets visited by Constable Fraser who wants to talk about horses and riding. What sort of riding?
Turtle: Moose riding.
Jeff: Nice mooses?
Turtle: For the sake of their shins, they better be.
Jeff: You opened Turtle & Canary as is the proper order of things, and-- JAMIE TAKES THE MONDAY SHIFT?! TURTLE, ARE YOU FEELING ALL RIGHT?! Do you need to go to hospital? Is there something the matter? Have you fallen ill?
Turtle: I'm feeling fine! The Monday shift worked better for him, so I'm just going to handle Saturday now.
Jeff: Are you absolutely certain about this? The planets might go out of alignment! Perhaps it's mental? What if you don't know about it?
Turtle: *siiigh* Would it help, Jeff, if I told you that I'll still probably be going into the store on Monday to do paperwork?
Jeff: I'm not certain that lines things up, but I suppose it sort of compensates. And you told Sky about Bob, which is also important and may even things up a bit. ...Though are you certain promising Sokka free Squishies was a good idea?
Turtle: *miserably* No.
Jeff: I'm sorry. Should I handle it? I could handle it.
Turtle: Handle what?
Jeff: Sokka and the Squishies!
Turtle: ...how would you do tha-- Wait. Do I want an answer to that question?
Jeff: Probably not.
Turtle: That's what I thought. So. Mister Cable opened up the Wellspring Arms and Meditation Center, as he is wont to do, and Ino stops in, as she is wont to do. He asks about her plants, and she tells him about the students she's been training. Mister Deadpool stopped by too, something he is also wont to do. They chat about houseplants and pets! I'm....going to remain silent on my thoughts of Mister Deadpool with a pet.
Turtle: George Michael opened his Naner Stand; Miss Stayton stops by and George Michael thinks she's drunk; she says she isn't, she just wants a banana, dang it. Mister Cannon stops by, too. He's interested in a banana and a background check, but not nuts. Oh, but wait until you get to the background check on any of the Bluths, Mister Cannon. Hi-LAR-ious. I should know; I've checked. Annette opened the Post Office, Naomi opened Sparky's, and Alex -- new kid-- opens the Magic Box. Nothing particularly eventful happened at either. Millie's shift at Book Haven would have gone about the same lines if Makato -- new kid -- hadn't come in for a job. In other news, Mary apparently slept through dinner, which had George Michael all worried, but she insists that, while she's not feeling too good, it's probably nothing...And I'm desperately trying to forget Mary's last visit to the store right now like you have no idea.
Jeff: Jolee's opening Caritas and enjoying it, working Tino and all-- Tino's a nice bloke, you should take care. And there's... nurses... at... the clinic...
Turtle: And that's all the notes we have for tonight, Fandom! Remember, a vote for Turtle and Jeff is a vote for the good of all! Err, well...sort of.
Jeff: Well, you're really excellent, so really it's not just a vote for good, it's a vote for excellence.
Turtle: You heard the man, folks. A vote for Turtle.....and Jeff...is a vote for excellence! Good night, and have a prosperous day!
Turtle: I knew I shouldn't let you start us out! No one would know if you were naked on air because they can't see you, Jeff. But, to be on the safe side, we're not going to mention 'naked' anymore throughout the entire broadcast, right? Because we really don't need that ruining our continued streak of glory.
Jeff: But that's the issue! They could be able to hear me! Rustling about!
Turtle: *very pointedly rustling papers* There. Rustling papers. Now they won't be able to hear other rustling; not that it matters because you're not naked, anyway.
Jeff: But the potential is there!
Turtle: ....ugh, let's just read the notes? Please?
SCHOOL
Turtle: Start with...school. We actually have notes to report on with regards to school, too, 'cause classes are back in session. Can't you just hear the excitement in my voice?
Jeff: ...No. Should I?
Turtle: No. Applied Inven...Inventio...Invention-whosa-whatsits met today and everyone kindly listened to Mister Glitch's lecture before introducing themselves. They worked on brainstorming, which worked well for some, but not for others, like A.J., who got reassurance that he didn't need to think of something necessarily that day. After class, Liir showed Mister Glitch his broom....good Lord, I hope that means that Liir is looking into a career in sweeping...Willow compliments Mister Glitch on the excellent class before volunteering for the good ol' TA-ship, and Adah swing by to-- holy crap, she talks.
Jeff: Talking's not always a very good idea, you know, being quiet works very well to avoid certain incidents.
Turtle: Lord help us if the reason she doesn't talk is because she's really like you, Jeff. One of you is enough....Today's also the day for Criminal Justice with the fabulous Mister Deadpool. They answer the age old question of "What the heck are you doing taking this class?" I have a feeling that the answer is "Bea Arthur." Just a guess, though. Miss Aly stops by afterwards to chat with Mister Deadpool to see if he survived his first class. Obviously, he did, but just barely, because he called Miss Aly old. Mister French-Name's Maths for Real Life class pulled a shocking move by having introductions today; Michael and Liir are passing notes, tsk tsk, and Michael and Adah are trying to be all secretive in scoping each other out. Robin and Troy are good, though, and actually pay attention. And in Miss Mal Doran's Choose Your Own Government class, they...GASP! had introductions! Way to push the envelope on the first day, Miss Mal Doran! Actually, she did make the class do some work, by getting in groups and talking about what your government can do for you!, but I can't say as much interesting things about that as I can talking about how all everyone does on the first day is introductions, so there you have it.
Jeff: Miss Ghanima introduces an introduction to everything to the students! Anders and Isabel are passing notes, a bit like these notes, but miss Ghanima isn't appreciative of note-passing. I hope she never does radio. Michael watches Wyatt and Isabel flirting-- it's one of those flirting days, isn't it? Of course, it's a Monday, which means there's a flirtary and everything. It affects things on a global scale. The Harlot's Girlfriend and Anders are happy to see each other, much like The Harlot's Girlfriend and the Harlot, no doubt, but then many people seem to be happy to see the Harlot. Then they decide what a myth is and talk about them. And then Billy goes for the TA position...
Turtle: Uh, Jeff? I've actually said we'd stop calling him that. So if we could, y'know...tone down the Harlotness a bit. To maybe, once or twice in a broadcast, that'd be good.
Jeff: But he is what he is, isn't he?
Turtle: He's actually lessened his harlotry significantly. I think.
Jeff: I don't trust his sudden 'lack' of harlotry. Constable Fraser's in the Study Hall and discusses Christmases with miss Aly. Hello! And two new people called Romeo and Amber are talking about where they're from and things like that, which really doesn't matter, 'cos you're in Fandom now! We're all the children of Fandom.
Turtle: Okay, and that's not at all a creepy thought or anything. There was a moose on the loose in the office. If I'd have known that, I'd have gone down and kicked it. Constable Fraser, I really hope you're not disappointed in me. I promise to be a better Moose Kicking Minion in the future!
Jeff: See it as an opportunity to practice your Moose Kicking skills.
Turtle: Mister Skywalker had abnormally happy office hours; Luke stops by for a chat that starts with him thinking is father is possessed, and then feeling awkward about his father's engagement, and then making his father feel awkward because there's a new student who looks like Luke's mom. God, this stuff is better than TV, I tell ya. Ferris stops in to introduce himself and right off the bat, Mister Skywalker warns him against painting his office pink and Jamie. Jaina also pops by to mention that, hey, Mister Skywalker's smiling. And he's all, 'hey, you have hair.' And then the engagement comes up. And then the looks.
Jeff: Was the Captain involved?
Turtle: Captain Morgan?
Jeff: No, The Captain. This new teacher called mister Bond has his office hours and somehow it feels as if I should be saying his first name, too, but that may be a bit rude. Someone else I don't know called Ferris pops 'round to introduce himself. Mister Suresh - I still miss Miss Next - has his office hours, where Ferris who I don't know comes by, as does Mister Cannon, who also meets Ferris who I don't know, and Lulu and then some bloke whose name I can't pronounce -- Leer? That's worse than Jeff! Do people insist on using you as a verb all the time? 'Cos I can sort of see where that may cause some issues down the line.
Turtle: It's Liir, not Leer, Jeff. There's totally a big difference there.
Jeff: It says Leer! And Ferris who I don't know comes by too, again, to ask her about her teaching qualifications. ...Teaching qualifications.
Jeff: The flirtary is open again 'cos Sam's there! And Peter of the Steve determination! Flirting! As does Dawn. Flirt, I mean, and also be there. Can I save this note, too? And Dean bringing lunch! I still don't have anyone bring me anything to eat at the hotel, except for that one time That Weird Bloke Andrew brought me some cookies and Turtle got all cross about it.
Turtle: Lies! Slanderous lies! I did no such thing! But there was a teacher's lounge thingy, too, overseen by the good ol' Moose-Kicking Mountie. Miss Aly was there. She got a preeeeesent.
DORMS
Turtle: Max -- new kid -- crashed in the second floor common room, which, being my common room, is the best, and she watched some TV. Anders, who is still cuter than Marco, shows up and Max thinks he's on crack because he tries to tell her that, um, hello, Fandom isn't exactly normal. It always can be kind of hard for the newbies. I wonder if I was like that. I've been fully assimilated, so I can't really remember. I doubt Jeff had a problem, considering his whole brain is on crack.
Jeff: I've never had crack. My hair just does that.
Turtle: It's very nice hair. *sound of slight hair ruffling*
Jeff: ... ... I love you.
Turtle: I know. Meanwhile, Cassandra is lucky I'm doing radio tonight because the squirrels totally caught her secret about marshmallows, but I'll keep it too, Cassandra, don't worry. She shared them with Max and they talk about how Fandom's a good place to start over. Or, in my case, get started. And then Max gawks at Robin. Because he's a talking frog. He's probably used to it by now. Oh. And I love you, too, Jeff.
Turtle: And then, later, in the fifth floor common room, Seregil --new kid-- discovers that magic that is ANTM. Annette comes in and introduces him to herself and ice cream and they go through the usual getting-to-know-the-newbie drill. Willow comes in and does pretty much the same thing, only without the ice cream, but with an invitation to go dancing.
Jeff: What sort of dancing? Can I go talk to them?
Turtle: I doubt it's that kind of dancing, Jeff. And Michaelangelo is in the fourth floor common room, with a lot of pizza and a big giant turtle costume. Yes. A Turtle...I'm sorry, the Turtle is reporting about a turtle dressed as a turtle. My head hurts. Adam is very impressed, and gets his awe rewarded with a serenade from Mikey. Brooke --new kid-- stares. Because she's a new kid. You'll get used to it, I promise. Needless to say, when Adam waves to Brooke, she's a wee bit on the reluctant, oh-em-gee-double-u-tee-eff side in waving back. Hoshi is there for some food. Just like that. Nevermind the turtle. Yup. A true child of Fandom. Same with Demyx, on a quest for free food! Rikku there, too, and is all, "OMG MIKEY, YAYZ." Yes. With a Z. ...errr, not that Z, the letter Z.
Jeff: Luke's fiddling with electronics and such - I hope you were careful, really, never do that near a television - and John comes by to talk about the new people. And then Gavin stops by to get told how incredibly fine it is that Luke's father is getting remarried, which seems to be getting a lot of emphasis in this. I think Captain Subtext may be speaking to Luke right now. You should be careful about that, he always knows what you're saying and if you're lying... I don't want to talk about it.
Turtle: Capta-- nevermind. Just...nevermind. Continue.
Jeff: Okay. Michael the person I still don't know also comes by to speak about Fandom school versus normal school and Fandom school is really a lot better, isn't it? Except for the fact my mother still chooses most of my classes, but at least I got one of my own in this time. Then Alex hears music and Luke is a bit popular today, isn't he? Maybe they all heard Captain Subtext milling about and gathered like vultures? 'Cos that's really not very nice. 'Cos Dawn comes by to talk about how fine he is, too. And Rikku! Oh god, does that mean I'm going to have to start wearing my protective underwear again? Even Jaina's sharing the Captain's attention today and how has that room not exploded of the subtextual excitement yet?
Turtle: ...Why do I even let you read notes? I'm going to have to start screening them before giving them to you. But, anyway... Ferris -- new kid -- talks to himself as he settles into his room. I've heard of stranger. Adam and Billy play with Sara and talk about soccer-slash-football. Sky --new kid-- comes by for a visit, too; he talks with Billy about villains and normalcy...I'm not sure if that means that they both feel villains are normal or if they're two seperate discussion topics. Sky and Adam also discuss the soccer-slash-football thing, and classes, and Sky says he likes dogs, Jeff. I think we should introduce Sky to Nana.
Jeff: Nana'll put anyone off dogs-- Kabuto stood up my little sister without apologising?! Do I need to come by and help you yell at him, Ino? 'Cos I will! That's what big brothers do! I'm not sure about hitting, but I could throw things, I've gotten very good at throwing things, and I've got a dog...
Turtle: Yell at him, and then send Chad to beat him up. But I'll place my money on Chad failing to do so. Isabel is in her room with biscotti, which Anders, who is cuter than Marco, stops by to share in. She tells him about Michael -- new kid-- and asks that he's nice to him. Is he so bad that you need to tell people to be nice to him? Especially Anders? Who is cuter than Marco? Eesh. Dean gets the same request, with an added incentive to keep an eye on the kid. Man. Am I sure glad none of my family lives here, too, let me tell ya.
TOWN
Jeff: So Sean who isn't actually a new person, which is really sort of a relief when you think of it, you know, new people, they occupy a lot of space, don't they? He opens his sporting goods store! And is visited by the harlot's girlfriend! That poor woman. Chad opens his music store and I hope he's spoken to the new siblings yet. Perhaps next family holiday we should all get together? I think we could make for a reasonable dinner party. I'll bring films.
Turtle: ...I think that sounds even more frightening than one of my family reunions.
Jeff: It'll be excellent! Breasts who I'm not allowed to call Mary anymore-- I mean, Mary who I'm not allowed to call breasts anymore and I really didn't do that on purpose, Turtle, she opens the Arms Hotel! And Joanna who's still really sort of scary is opening up the karting and minigolf store. Range. Wonders of the World! She gets visited by Constable Fraser who wants to talk about horses and riding. What sort of riding?
Turtle: Moose riding.
Jeff: Nice mooses?
Turtle: For the sake of their shins, they better be.
Jeff: You opened Turtle & Canary as is the proper order of things, and-- JAMIE TAKES THE MONDAY SHIFT?! TURTLE, ARE YOU FEELING ALL RIGHT?! Do you need to go to hospital? Is there something the matter? Have you fallen ill?
Turtle: I'm feeling fine! The Monday shift worked better for him, so I'm just going to handle Saturday now.
Jeff: Are you absolutely certain about this? The planets might go out of alignment! Perhaps it's mental? What if you don't know about it?
Turtle: *siiigh* Would it help, Jeff, if I told you that I'll still probably be going into the store on Monday to do paperwork?
Jeff: I'm not certain that lines things up, but I suppose it sort of compensates. And you told Sky about Bob, which is also important and may even things up a bit. ...Though are you certain promising Sokka free Squishies was a good idea?
Turtle: *miserably* No.
Jeff: I'm sorry. Should I handle it? I could handle it.
Turtle: Handle what?
Jeff: Sokka and the Squishies!
Turtle: ...how would you do tha-- Wait. Do I want an answer to that question?
Jeff: Probably not.
Turtle: That's what I thought. So. Mister Cable opened up the Wellspring Arms and Meditation Center, as he is wont to do, and Ino stops in, as she is wont to do. He asks about her plants, and she tells him about the students she's been training. Mister Deadpool stopped by too, something he is also wont to do. They chat about houseplants and pets! I'm....going to remain silent on my thoughts of Mister Deadpool with a pet.
Turtle: George Michael opened his Naner Stand; Miss Stayton stops by and George Michael thinks she's drunk; she says she isn't, she just wants a banana, dang it. Mister Cannon stops by, too. He's interested in a banana and a background check, but not nuts. Oh, but wait until you get to the background check on any of the Bluths, Mister Cannon. Hi-LAR-ious. I should know; I've checked. Annette opened the Post Office, Naomi opened Sparky's, and Alex -- new kid-- opens the Magic Box. Nothing particularly eventful happened at either. Millie's shift at Book Haven would have gone about the same lines if Makato -- new kid -- hadn't come in for a job. In other news, Mary apparently slept through dinner, which had George Michael all worried, but she insists that, while she's not feeling too good, it's probably nothing...And I'm desperately trying to forget Mary's last visit to the store right now like you have no idea.
Jeff: Jolee's opening Caritas and enjoying it, working Tino and all-- Tino's a nice bloke, you should take care. And there's... nurses... at... the clinic...
Turtle: And that's all the notes we have for tonight, Fandom! Remember, a vote for Turtle and Jeff is a vote for the good of all! Err, well...sort of.
Jeff: Well, you're really excellent, so really it's not just a vote for good, it's a vote for excellence.
Turtle: You heard the man, folks. A vote for Turtle.....and Jeff...is a vote for excellence! Good night, and have a prosperous day!
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