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fandom_radio2006-02-11 03:46 am
imanaturalblond.livejournal.com) wrote in fandom_radio2006-02-11 03:46 am
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Fandom Radio, Friday, February 10, 2006
"Good evening, boys and girls. Professor Ms. Rita Skeeter here. And yes, I'm perfectly aware it's not Monday. Sometimes things happen that you don't expect. Sometimes your marriage falls apart. Sometimes you find out you have a fascinatingly well-known student in a class.
And sometimes your journalism professor appears on the radio on a night other than her regularly scheduled one. And you DEAL WITH IT.
Anyway.
Classes, which were not horrible, since I taught today!
The library? Not so busy today. It seems Angela is excited about seeing her ex. I know how this story ends. Poor, sweet, twelve year-old Angela. Sam and Janet talk. How fascinating. Except not. Then Mr. Menagerie and Ms. Backtalky chat about the lovely detention they'll be sharing tomorrow. I hope you have fun, children. I truly hope you do.
In Music, the bloke whose hair I purpled is still absent, which makes me sad as I don't know where to find those delightful yellow spongecakes he always has on hand at home. And Cameron tells John that he - Cameron, that is - came to see me in my office hours yesterday. Which forces me to reach the conclusion that they either truly are separate people, or else John Crichton is a schizophrenic. You be the judge.
In Forensics, they watch a film called, of all things, 'Arson Gang Busters.' Evidently the Speech classes are watching films as well. It seems Celtic Studies is having a party or something, the children in Math class get a break, Driver's Education talks about their driving experiences, and US Government learns about the role of the President. Who, I must note, I managed to watch on the television recently, and I must say, even our Minister of Magic isn't that ridiculous-looking. And the man wears a bowler.
And then there were my classes. In Journalistic Integrity, you all conducted some darling interviews with me, and Logan Echolls lied to his teacher. Naughty boy. And in Journalism 101 and 201, I gave out cameras. Boys and girls of Fandom, I'd be on your guard in public until next Wednesday, as they're under assignment to photograph something interesting. And heaven only knows what these bra - I mean, sweet children...might find interesting enough to catch on film.
In the clinic, Dr. Pevensie sees John Crichton's apparent twin, Ivanova, and Professor Cregg. And then Janet and Dr. Lambert simply show up for work.
In office hours, Xander went to see Professor Calendar, a multitude of women go to see Professor Pierson - with little surprise over here - Dean Washburn goes unvisted, and Dean Zordon is visited by Mac.
Student Council meets. We're having a dance next Friday. I'm sure you all knew that already though, your little hearts all a-flutter with wondering who to ask and what you'll wear and blah blah.
In the assistants' lounge, many girls and two boys talk to Belthazor. According to my notes, Phoebe and Belthazor aren't together. Whatever. Is this the Phoebe Halliwell who plans to protect my students from being turned into animals by me, by use of some sort of charm? Good luck with that. Really. Cameron (who could just be a crazed John Crichton) talks to Belthazor about family and vampire hunting. Then Angela and Belthazor talk about relationships, and again, I don't know that either of you needs to be talk about that particular topic now. Then Belthazor and Allie do homework, of all things. Mr. Crichton-who-might-be-insane and Belthazor talk about kimonos, and Isabel dispenses Valentine's Day advice.
In the cafeteria, Walter gives Nadia money, and Ed and Anders talk about food. What a shock. Discussion of food? In a cafeteria? Surely you jest!
And in announcements, it seems poor Nadia won the detention lottery. I'd feel worse for you if I had the slightest idea who you are.
In the dorms, where all good girls and boys should be asleep, but NO.
Mac and Paige discuss hair, uninterestingly, and...han asks Lana to marry him? Oh. Oh dear. Ms. Lang, you seemed so...sane. Don't do it! You'll regret it! Maybe not now. But the first time you try to set him on fire to get his attention, and nothing happens? You'll begin to wonder what happened to your life. Mark my words.
On the second floor, children are bored and unproductive. Said children apparently talk about me and possible ways I could relieve their boredom. I'm more than happy to turn Mr. Crichton into any animal any day, but I'm not available for your amusement all the time, boys and girls. I'm not your entertainment. I do have a life. Yes, really. Anyway, this leads, somehow, to what I can only conclude is some sort of enormous mating ritual in, shock of shocks, Rory Gilmore's room. Perhaps everyone in the room has decided to take up Ms. Gilmore on her promiscuity one by one as the others look on. Or perhaps it's simply an orgy. Whatever it may be, I'm glad I don't live anywhere near you lot.
In other dorm-related news, Parker is informative about Darla and her soul, Allie and Piper talk marriage and demons and good lord why are you people discussing marriage? You're babies! And it depresses me and I simply don't have enough firewhiskey on hand to deal with it, so just shut up. All of you.
And also there are people golfing in the lobby, and I am confused as well as depressed. I hate you all.
Elsewhere, Blair is still in pursuit of a ladyfriend, Lyta gets a package, Angela got a phone call from that ex of hers - again, poor dear - and Parker and Jack have a very, very loud morning after. I don't want to know how bad the sex was, really.
Furthermore, Marty is no longer weird, apparently, Xander is sick of junk food, and Han and Victor go away for the weekend. Though, presumably not together. I don't imagine Han's fiancée would like that.
Speaking of which, Maia goes and cries all over the future Mrs. Solo. Possibly over her friend's lost sanity. Also, Pip advises Blair on masculine wiles or something, schizophrenic John meditates, and Anders smells bad.
...once again, failing to see how this is newsworthy.
Out and about in the town of very minimal excitement
Jaye is sleepy. So, naturally, John Crichton throws glitter on her. Because that's what he does. He kicks people when they're down. What a horrid little boy. You ought to go antagonize poor Deb and Carl who are dealing with the latter's recent discovery of illness.
Or possibly Darla, who is taken into custody and then kept in a cell. And in Luke's, Angela is...stood up. Poor, poor Angela. Poor thing. Really sad, that. Also, Veronica and Logan have an adorable date whilst they complain about someone. I can't imagine who.
But it's not a completely sad day in Fandom. There is waterballooning afoot once again, and as long as I'm not getting drenched, I'm content to laugh at everyone who is. Anders pokes through the junkyard, where he is approached by Quark and Pippi. Batou and Ferdinand meet in the park, where Peter seems to be getting a head start on his homework for my class. Well done, Mr. Parker. Though, in Jeff, God of Biscuits earlier, he seemed to be plotting something with GOB. Or maybe that's just how that horrible man always acts. You know, sneakily. Irritatingly.
In Cafe Fina, Ferdinand has lunch all alone. Meanwhile, in Caritas, Phoebe has rum - not only a foolish young witch but a lush, too? - while Mrs. Soon-to-be-Solo has Coke. And that awful man does something with a birdcage.
And finally, there was a party. Two blokes want free food, whereas Agatha and Artie, as well as Belthazor and Phoebe, who are NOT together, all simply show up for the company. And Lucas has 'special' brownies. I wonder what makes them special.
And that's it from me, boys and girls. Steer clear of Gilmore's room unless you want an indiscreet disease, apparently, and don't get stood up by your exes. Love and kisses!"
And sometimes your journalism professor appears on the radio on a night other than her regularly scheduled one. And you DEAL WITH IT.
Anyway.
Classes, which were not horrible, since I taught today!
The library? Not so busy today. It seems Angela is excited about seeing her ex. I know how this story ends. Poor, sweet, twelve year-old Angela. Sam and Janet talk. How fascinating. Except not. Then Mr. Menagerie and Ms. Backtalky chat about the lovely detention they'll be sharing tomorrow. I hope you have fun, children. I truly hope you do.
In Music, the bloke whose hair I purpled is still absent, which makes me sad as I don't know where to find those delightful yellow spongecakes he always has on hand at home. And Cameron tells John that he - Cameron, that is - came to see me in my office hours yesterday. Which forces me to reach the conclusion that they either truly are separate people, or else John Crichton is a schizophrenic. You be the judge.
In Forensics, they watch a film called, of all things, 'Arson Gang Busters.' Evidently the Speech classes are watching films as well. It seems Celtic Studies is having a party or something, the children in Math class get a break, Driver's Education talks about their driving experiences, and US Government learns about the role of the President. Who, I must note, I managed to watch on the television recently, and I must say, even our Minister of Magic isn't that ridiculous-looking. And the man wears a bowler.
And then there were my classes. In Journalistic Integrity, you all conducted some darling interviews with me, and Logan Echolls lied to his teacher. Naughty boy. And in Journalism 101 and 201, I gave out cameras. Boys and girls of Fandom, I'd be on your guard in public until next Wednesday, as they're under assignment to photograph something interesting. And heaven only knows what these bra - I mean, sweet children...might find interesting enough to catch on film.
In the clinic, Dr. Pevensie sees John Crichton's apparent twin, Ivanova, and Professor Cregg. And then Janet and Dr. Lambert simply show up for work.
In office hours, Xander went to see Professor Calendar, a multitude of women go to see Professor Pierson - with little surprise over here - Dean Washburn goes unvisted, and Dean Zordon is visited by Mac.
Student Council meets. We're having a dance next Friday. I'm sure you all knew that already though, your little hearts all a-flutter with wondering who to ask and what you'll wear and blah blah.
In the assistants' lounge, many girls and two boys talk to Belthazor. According to my notes, Phoebe and Belthazor aren't together. Whatever. Is this the Phoebe Halliwell who plans to protect my students from being turned into animals by me, by use of some sort of charm? Good luck with that. Really. Cameron (who could just be a crazed John Crichton) talks to Belthazor about family and vampire hunting. Then Angela and Belthazor talk about relationships, and again, I don't know that either of you needs to be talk about that particular topic now. Then Belthazor and Allie do homework, of all things. Mr. Crichton-who-might-be-insane and Belthazor talk about kimonos, and Isabel dispenses Valentine's Day advice.
In the cafeteria, Walter gives Nadia money, and Ed and Anders talk about food. What a shock. Discussion of food? In a cafeteria? Surely you jest!
And in announcements, it seems poor Nadia won the detention lottery. I'd feel worse for you if I had the slightest idea who you are.
In the dorms, where all good girls and boys should be asleep, but NO.
Mac and Paige discuss hair, uninterestingly, and...han asks Lana to marry him? Oh. Oh dear. Ms. Lang, you seemed so...sane. Don't do it! You'll regret it! Maybe not now. But the first time you try to set him on fire to get his attention, and nothing happens? You'll begin to wonder what happened to your life. Mark my words.
On the second floor, children are bored and unproductive. Said children apparently talk about me and possible ways I could relieve their boredom. I'm more than happy to turn Mr. Crichton into any animal any day, but I'm not available for your amusement all the time, boys and girls. I'm not your entertainment. I do have a life. Yes, really. Anyway, this leads, somehow, to what I can only conclude is some sort of enormous mating ritual in, shock of shocks, Rory Gilmore's room. Perhaps everyone in the room has decided to take up Ms. Gilmore on her promiscuity one by one as the others look on. Or perhaps it's simply an orgy. Whatever it may be, I'm glad I don't live anywhere near you lot.
In other dorm-related news, Parker is informative about Darla and her soul, Allie and Piper talk marriage and demons and good lord why are you people discussing marriage? You're babies! And it depresses me and I simply don't have enough firewhiskey on hand to deal with it, so just shut up. All of you.
And also there are people golfing in the lobby, and I am confused as well as depressed. I hate you all.
Elsewhere, Blair is still in pursuit of a ladyfriend, Lyta gets a package, Angela got a phone call from that ex of hers - again, poor dear - and Parker and Jack have a very, very loud morning after. I don't want to know how bad the sex was, really.
Furthermore, Marty is no longer weird, apparently, Xander is sick of junk food, and Han and Victor go away for the weekend. Though, presumably not together. I don't imagine Han's fiancée would like that.
Speaking of which, Maia goes and cries all over the future Mrs. Solo. Possibly over her friend's lost sanity. Also, Pip advises Blair on masculine wiles or something, schizophrenic John meditates, and Anders smells bad.
...once again, failing to see how this is newsworthy.
Out and about in the town of very minimal excitement
Jaye is sleepy. So, naturally, John Crichton throws glitter on her. Because that's what he does. He kicks people when they're down. What a horrid little boy. You ought to go antagonize poor Deb and Carl who are dealing with the latter's recent discovery of illness.
Or possibly Darla, who is taken into custody and then kept in a cell. And in Luke's, Angela is...stood up. Poor, poor Angela. Poor thing. Really sad, that. Also, Veronica and Logan have an adorable date whilst they complain about someone. I can't imagine who.
But it's not a completely sad day in Fandom. There is waterballooning afoot once again, and as long as I'm not getting drenched, I'm content to laugh at everyone who is. Anders pokes through the junkyard, where he is approached by Quark and Pippi. Batou and Ferdinand meet in the park, where Peter seems to be getting a head start on his homework for my class. Well done, Mr. Parker. Though, in Jeff, God of Biscuits earlier, he seemed to be plotting something with GOB. Or maybe that's just how that horrible man always acts. You know, sneakily. Irritatingly.
In Cafe Fina, Ferdinand has lunch all alone. Meanwhile, in Caritas, Phoebe has rum - not only a foolish young witch but a lush, too? - while Mrs. Soon-to-be-Solo has Coke. And that awful man does something with a birdcage.
And finally, there was a party. Two blokes want free food, whereas Agatha and Artie, as well as Belthazor and Phoebe, who are NOT together, all simply show up for the company. And Lucas has 'special' brownies. I wonder what makes them special.
And that's it from me, boys and girls. Steer clear of Gilmore's room unless you want an indiscreet disease, apparently, and don't get stood up by your exes. Love and kisses!"
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Just as soon as he figured out who the heck she was.
And how she knew what he'd been doing.
And . . . then he passed out.
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honorreputationskills!"Hey!"
*ring ring ring*
She tries to call the radio station.
*ring ring ring.
And doesn't get an answer. Just the machine.
"Stupid pirate radio."
Oh, Crichton is *so* getting help on taking down this one now. Yup.
[*mwah* for the recaps and the pinch-hitting! hee.]
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But he'd be objecting that no way does he smell bad, not any more. He did, sure, but a lot of bath products died to take care of that problem.
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Fire bombs. Definitely fire bombs.
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And grins.
For once, he wasn't mentioned more then once. score.
*stumbles into room to pass out, again
and camululs so didnt spend the night he should be called a sex god, nit the celtic god...