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fandom_radio2007-11-20 02:04 am
stocksgrrl.livejournal.com) wrote in fandom_radio2007-11-20 02:04 am
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Fandom Radio :: Monday, November 19th.
Jeff: Even this radio station's still the same! This is really weird, Turtle!
T.R.: Well, it's kind of complicated, Murdock. See, while some of us...most of us, have aged twenty years and think we're ba-- Oh, never mind. I've probably already confused you, haven't I?
Jeff: To be fair, I think I was already sort of confused before I got here.
T.R.: A-yup. But, anyway, it's Monday, and we're here to do radio on Monday like we always have. Except for when we did it on Tuesdays. And, before that, just me, on Wednesdays, but it's kind of hard to imagine a point in time where Murdock technically didn't exist in the world scope. Think on that one.
SCHOOL: WHICH WE DON'T GO TO ANYMORE
Jeff: Comparative Religions is still going? It's even still being taught by my old Opposite Sex teacher. Hi, Professor Mal Doran! There's a lecture and handouts, Luke discusses the 'reunion mess' - I thought it was a nice mess, I mean reunion, honestly - with Karal who also tries to speak to Professor Mal Doran, and then the notes move on to Sex Ed -- this schedule sounds oddly familiar. It has another one of those lectures like I haven't in years, I should've been guest speaking in this class, I've got a lot of theories that might help. Do the students know about the Sock Gap? It's very important to plan out your sock-removal during foreplay, you don't want to know where you might end up otherwise. ...Well, you'll likely end up a naked man in socks, and really, no self-respecting women would get near that. I hope everyone learned this at the Q&A.
T.R.:....you're not really naked if you're wearing socks, though. How many times have I tried explaining that?
Jeff: I'm sorry, but we'll just have to disagree on that. You've never tried to do the squelchy in socks before. Lulu and Rikku catch up, and Jean-Paul the old maths professor asks her about the past week. Oh, and Sokka asks her out! He fails, though. Did you mention breasts? It's better if you don't mention the breasts to their faces, I've found. Unless they speak another language, then it's all right.
T.R.: But, you know, with Lulu, it's hard. Her breasts practically are her face...
Jeff: It's photography day in Art Class. I'm undecided about photography, honestly, you never know what's going to happen. Another lecture and then the class plays with cameras. Afterwards, Professor Steve and Namine discuss the weirdness, and honestly, it's Fandom, you'd think people would start discussing more important things. Like underwear and lesbians. Jamie apologises for things he hasn't done yet which I think is a bit over the top, Professor Steve's a bloke, he'll understand. After he punches you around a bit.
T.R.: Yeah, but it's Madrox. I say that's just good planning on his part. In that Top Model class, they talked about the future of fashion. Wasn't that actually one of the themes for ANTM a few hundred gazillion times? Hello, copyright infringement. Everyone mostly listened, except for Isabel and Peter Petrelli, who talked about being normal and healthy. Relatively speaking, I'm sure. Lee was still shirtless. Evie and the squirrels agree that this is a good thing.
Jeff: Couldn't someone else have been shirtless, too? It doesn't seem very equal opportunity, you know, I'm certain Mister Deadpool would agree.
T.R.: I'm not taking off my shirt, Murdock.
*significant silence*
T.R.: ....A-HEM. Keeping your Wits class jumps off moving trains. Seriously. I hope you all really realize how amazing our alma mater here is. There's a lecture, and then train jumping. And then Lana talked to Wilson and gets out of train jumping. Why would you want to? Then again, I suppose not everyone's insurance covers that...
Jeff: ...Sometimes it's a very necessary skill.
T.R.: Rikku is singing in the cafeteria. Yup. And Sam relives the good old days in the library. He's still tall, as Thursday reveals, having no trouble recognizing him at all. Meg doesn't have much trouble either. Evelyn marvels at the unchanging *ahem* Fandom library, and other things don't change, like Dean bring Sam lunch and Sam and Peter being flirty. Twenty years, and more flirting still goes on in that library than studying, I'll bet. You're all nerds.
Jeff: It's not really a library as much as a flirtary, really. The office is still open and Anakin still has hours. He's still here? That's sort of impressive, that. Formerly Union River comes by. Hello, River! Remember when we took over the hotel and you trapped Gunther in that room? I mean the third time we did it, not the second time, obviously, there was no pie involved that time. Jaina makes sure he's the proper age, which is a little tactless, isn't it? Then there's Bill and John who wants to know if Anakin still hates him. Perhaps you shouldn't ask him that directly. It seems a little... suicidal. And Luke! He helped me in class once when I was accidentally naked, which was really nice.
T.R.: You were accidentally naked a lot, Murdock. You're.....still accidentally naked a lot.
Jeff: I'm a hermit now, it's allowed. Mister Deadpool cleans by watching models on the television, and Turtle. is there to show off. Eve wants to know why he hasn't blown up a planet or overthrown a government yet and apparently someone named Nate is to blame for not taking anything over yet. I don't think I've ever met anyone named Nate, is he local? Sokka wants a rematch, and Rikku wants a tackleglomp - that all seems a bit violent, doesn't it? Kabuto is creepy, apparently, and Haku is a woman. Except for where he's not. I was almost a woman once, you know, but then I ran into some poultry.
T.R.: Thank God for poultry. Tomoe is jet-lagged in his office...ugh. Jet-lag is awful! Aly had some office hours today, and Teddy stopped in to catch up with the old spy teacher and thank her for her guidance through the years. Aw. Ronan is also very grateful for her tutelage. I would also thank Aly for something she taught my younger, impressionable fourteen year old self, but....no. And she knows why. Zuko stops by without realizing that not everyone's in the same timeline at the moment. I know. Crazy. It worries me that I'm as used to it as I am. Madrox? Also flaily, because Aly's not wee like he's used to, and there's more Fandom Time Crap there than I want to bother touching. Rikku stops in and gets recognized because who else would talk that fast? Peter Parker and Billy also make appearances, more time talk there, too, I bet. As does Aravis. Who is knocked up. God, I shouldn't laugh, but I really can't help it....I know, I know, almost everyone is popping out kids now, but....I don't know. The fact that I'll never have to go through that just fills me with GLEE. Haku wants to know Aly's secret to looking so young and fresh. The answer, clearly, is Fandom. Either way, Seely approves. Sora and Squall have a little pow-wow at the latter's office hours, and, apparently, people are still stupid enough to go to Stinson for love advice because Hoshi's telling him about her man-juggling.
Jeff: That sounds slightly painful.
DORMS: BUT WE STILL LIVE HERE. WEIRD.
T.R.: So, I'm not sure if I'm getting this right, but I'll try. Ino and Kabuto have an early morning fling, although I think the Kabuto that Ino is married to is not this Kabuto. WOOOOW. That's impressive. Also, the awkwardness between Johnny and Savannah only got worse once she revealed that he's her baby's daddy. Man, I miss reporting on all you crazy kids. This is better than a soap opera. And, thanks to Lee and River talking and drinking, there's emo even, too! What more could a girl want, except maybe a margarita in one hand and cell phone in the other, closing out a multi-million dollar buyout? Andrew....I wonder if we can still call him 'that weird bloke'? Anyway, he gets visited by Neil, who's one of those "still twenty years behind" people, and was apparently kind of a jerk. So I guess we can call him that Mean Bloke Andrew, if we wanted. This leads to Neil being emo in his room. So we can call him That Really Mean Bloke Andrew. But, you know, every soap opera needs a villain...
Jeff: I thought he was doing better, but apparently he's evil after all. That happens a lot. At least he hasn't blown up the school yet, that would really be disappointing, you know, I think I've still got some videos here.
T.R.: Yup, I guess you were actually right about something, there. Good job, Murdock. In more baby-daddy news, Eve got to deal with a weepy Savannah as she tries to get comfort over the fact that Johnny didn't take the news well. Also weepy is Lana, which just means some things never cha--
*chittering*
What? She was still a teenager? Oh. Some things never change. Including, apparently, Lana's age.
Jeff: Annette gets bad news over the phone. Phones do get a bit better with time, but phoning is still often bad news, so I sympathise a lot. Apparently her son got kidnapped, which isn't good. Obviously. Johnny who is probably still a harlot - you should speak to Patrick - then phones his daughter and Eve's upset with him and then there's something about a bloke named Maury. Then he speaks to Haku about, you know, the sort of things people speak about at reunions. ...Be careful. Savannah returns drunk which might lead to some incidents, you better watch out for that, you don't want to end up in your best friend's bedroom stealing his girlfriend's-- actually, returning drunk to places seems to have worked out for me a bit. Then she chats with Anders a bit. Rikku's on the net, hi Rikku, remember that time I phoned you and you were naked? And Hoshi's reunion was really busy, and Ronan and the harlot do something I don't particularly want to mention.
T.R.:....something harlot-y?
Jeff: It's in the definition.
T.R.: Indeed it is. In my old common room, and, therefor, clearly, the best, Valentine is watching soap operas, and, Valentine, just go out and talk to your fellow alumnus. Same thing. Oh! I wonder if he still wears that mask? Or is he still a teenager? Notes don't say. Squirrels are too busy reporting on important stuff that actually matters, I guess. Like Rikku poking him. Oh! And here it says he is still eighteen. Which also answers my mask question, but doesn't seem as fulfilling. Valentine, you're like the empty carbs of reunions, my friend. I...don't know what that really means. I'm sorry. Jack remembers Valentine's juggling and Sokka uses Fandom Chicken as a memory jogging tool for Valentine. Awwww, I miss that film! Valentine's happy to see Cassandra looking so young and fresh and that sounded dirtier in my ears than it did in my head, while he's not happy to see Sora looking so old. Yeah, way to cause a complex, Valentine. It's people like you that keep my jerk-off brother-in-law in business. Sora's complex is sure to continue as Kou freaks out at him and being generally confused...was he at least wearing pants? I remember only one thing about Kou and that's a distinct lack of pants.
Jeff: ...He should've gotten a set of emergency ones, it's the only way to prepare for these kind of situations, they happen more often than you'd think.
Ronan's attempting to be thoughtful on the emo roof. But then Johnny shows up to use the roof appropriately, much like Neil, and then River smiles a lot to break the emo streak. Jack and Ronan meet up for the first time, took you some time, but Jenny's just there to share cigarettes. Some things don't change, do they? Cass tries to figure Ronan out but apparently fails and dances with Anemone instead which seems like it's far more exciting. Would you like to see my sketches? Su always loved my sketches... I really need to go talk to her.
T.R.: ...I've seen your sketches. I do not need to see them again. Su probably doesn't need to either. Also, you need to stop leaving them where Alice can find them when you visit, Murdock, or else Angela is never going to let her near me if you're even on the same side of the pond.
Jeff: I'm just helping inspire a new generation! Adam's working out at the gym, and then Bill shows up and fills him in on how things have been, which must be a running theme right now. Personally, I prefer sharing theories instead. What's the point of all of this life experience if you can't share pointers? There's a lot of danger out there. Karal daydreams on the lawn and I think I can hear Nana spazzing here where it mentions the horse. Funny, that, 'cos that dog is indestructable. He discusses that old plague thing that I missed back in the day with Jaina. And Cassandra really likes the horse, unlike my dog who I thought was dead except she's not.
T.R.: Blaze taints the roof with horrible music....
~Why do birds!....suddenly appear~
...What the...?
~ev-very time!...you are ne-ear!~
NO! Bad squirrel! Bad squirrel! We do not do that here! Give...me...that! ANYWAY. Pam and....Collie! I mean Collie! Oh, wow. It's been a while, what can I say? So, Collie and Jim are down by the pool. Considering how little things change around here, I'm guessing they're either being, quote, 'OMG ADORABLE' or plotting a prank.
GOOD OL' TOWN
Jeff: Detective Montoya's in at the Trooper Station. Does she still do that thing where she just stands around and people tell her things? 'Cos that was really sort of excellent. Agent Cooper's there - I'm certain he brought doughnuts. I haven't had any of those in years. Xander is in at Mauvaise Chance with Robin and my old Communication professor. I miss my other old Communication professor. She had really nice breasts. Oh, and Dawn brings doughnuts!
Chad was at Groovy Tunes, which I remember 'cos I was there, hiding and everything. As is Evie, except she isn't hiding, she just feels Chad is 'hot'. Has he got the same gift as Patrick? 'Cos that would explain a lot. Then he tells my little sister he's a concubine to an alien emperor, which I think is something Patrick would really disagree with. On the other hand, I've never been entirely certain about Sally, so perhaps that happened to him, too. ...Sally's an alien! Now I understand it! I've been wondering all these years how that could happen... oh god, do you think she's got him under mind control?
T.R.: Only in so far as any good woman has any man under mind control.
Jeff: You've met Patrick. You know it's odd. I never thought it would happen to him, you know, he was some sort of-- superhero.
And then Robin and Haku are there, and Turtle is at the old shop with Jamie who's all 'I WANT TO CALL YOU THAT TOO', and really, it's been T.R. for a long time now, you'd think people would catch up, wouldn't you, Turtle? Then Sora gets recognised, I really like it when people recognise me, it doesn't happen all that often. Oh, and Bill again! With the eye patch!
That scary woman is pregnant at J,GOB, and I am really happy I wasn't there, last time I saw a pregnant person it was Steve's Susan and she was... I don't want to talk about it. *laughs nervously* No wonder he went mad and thought my Susan was a lesbian cow! ...I'm still not talking to him. Often. Gavin teases her about it which is just playing with your life, honestly, haven't you learned anything? Millie was at Book Haven, and George Michael was at the banana stand. ...That all sounds oddly familiar. Joanna was there making banana innuendo, and honestly, you could do better than bananas, bananas are sort of frightening, you know, they make me tense. Like apples! Or perhaps it's just that I'm tense normally and bananas are very easy to blame.
Annette is at the Post Office! It's really just like old times. She meets my little sister - why haven't I met my little sister? Ino! Phone me! I'll be in Narnia, though, so I hope you've got good long distance. And that weird artist bloke who needed all that help and hopefully got it arrives. At the Post Office, I mean, it's not the sort of place one would generally arrive at, except for when you go there, but sometimes it can't be helped.
Naomi celebrates old times at Sparky's with Bill, who must've dropped a letter or so since the last time I saw him, it seems a little short.
T.R.: Leo is paranoid at the Photo Hut, which I'm sure has nothing to do with Mary Jane. Charlie, meanwhile, seems to still occasonally likes to make "sandcastles" down at the beach, and she meets up with Robin, the frog, because I've got a feeling that they're both still here, frog-Robin and not-frog-Robin.
Jeff: It's always been important to differentiate your Robins here. Sometimes I forget and do that at home.
T.R.: Never forget to differentiate your Robins. It's one of my keys to success. Ghanima Atreides arrived today, and, yes, I'm very proud of the fact that I think I pronounced that right. Cassandra, who is still endearingly young, because Fandom is like that, opened Cafe Fina. Speaking of Fandom and its wibbly wobbly, timey wimey-ness, Renee stops in, knows Cassandra, but Cassandra doesn't know her, so she meets her while Renee re-meets her. And then, hopefully, amid all of that, Renee got her dinner, because I assume that's what she came into Cafe Fina for. And then Billy stops in to discuss what I just mentioned. Fandom. Wibbly wobbly. Timey Wimey. I would trademark that if someone else already hadn't. And then Jack catches up with Cassandra, too. None of these notes mention actual dinner eating, which mildly bothers me.
Jeff: I was eating dinner. *laughs* It fell in shape and everything. It's like if you're on this bus and there's these cheerleaders...
T.R.:....what?....wait, never mind. Everyone's least favorite chef, Gunther, is probably being annoying at The Arms Hotel. Murdock here stopped in to tell Mary all about his fantastic, but disappointing, adventures on the isle of Lesbos. Tell me, Murdock. How often did Mary's breasts factor into the conversation?
Jeff: I'd say it was about a seven, breast-factor wise.
T.R.: Anyway, River stopped in to catch up with Mary. I'm sick of that phrase, 'catch up.' Especially since Mary and Hoshi do it, too. Leo wonders what Turducken is and Mary turns him over to Gunther. It's delicious, that's what it is. Really! Ghanima Atreides, which, really, is just a good name. It's different and noticeable. Anyway, she picked up a room. Cable is working at The Wellspring Arms and Meditation Center, and Ino comes in, but, apparently, this squirrel doesn't speak Cable. They talk about things that change, things that haven't. Wibbly wobbly.... Teddy came in to flaunt his royal status, and Cable asks how the empire's doing. Too many of you have been successful enough in politics to make me almost feel like a slacker. Stop that. Sokka comes in hankering for cryptic wisdom and shooting time. Rikku also stopped in to talk about time and destiny and, really, there's quite a focus on the same thing at Wellspring Arms, isn't there?
Jeff: Some people just tend to focus differently, I suppose. Personally, I prefer busoms. Well, and bottoms. You can't fault people if their cleavage happens to face another way.
T.R.: ....oh, wow, that one actually caused physical pain in my brain. Well done, Murdock. Savannah stops by to visit Sean and tell him about how her life has been *cough*babydaddy*cough*. And George Michael confesses to Mary that he's a pimp. I'm glad I decided to leave that whole Bluth trap alone after all.
Jeff: I did tell you the bananas were a sign of depravity.
T.R.: That you did. There was a reunion party in the park that I, for some reason, missed, which is just a bunch of networking opprotunities right down the drain. Eve, Murdock here, Annette, Hoshi, Zuko, Savannah, Billy, Robin, Jack, Andros, Naomi, Kabuto, Teddy, Sora, and whoever the heck Blaze is all arrived. Congratulations. You didn't die in twenty years. Katara and Haku caught up and Robin waved at Haku. There was, of course, the usual dosage of networkin--errr, I mean, mingling. Annette and Savannah caught up with things they do and then Annette tortured Billy by showing him pictures of her kids. I hate when people do that, but you still have to look at their ugly offspring and say nice things, or else there's no way you'll get the deal. Annette and Kabuto talked about how things haven't really changed....do they mean around Fandom, or just in general? Robin and Hoshi caught up and talked to one of Hoshi's friends on her telecom thingy. There was also, of course, food, where mingling could go hand in hand with eating. Very streamlined, that method. Haku and Teddy took advantaged of the combined benefits while eating and catching up.
T.R.: The nurse opened the clinic for the day, and apparently, Adah's there, with a visit from River. And she's still there when Katara swings by later for the evening. But at least that's all that happened? No one's brain broke too much!
...My insurance covers that, too, you know.
Jeff: Jolee makes Tino open the bar. Tino's still alive? I mean, I knew Jolee was going to live forever, but Tino comes as a bit of a shock. I thought he would have had some sort of aneurysm by now. Dean and Meg talk, and both Charlie and Robin - which Robin? I've been gone for twenty years and even I know to specify my Robins still! ... oh, I haven't got the time for this argument, I've got places to be.
T.R.: Places to be? Like where?
Jeff: Haven't got the time to explain! I have to catch Peter's closet before he leaves! And bring flowers! And a stereo! And... things!
T.R.: Peter's clos-- Oh! The Susan thing?
Jeff: Yes! The Susan thing! *sounds of scrambling* I've got to move! There may still be time! She may still be less emotional!
T.R.: Yes! I do believe you have a......oh, at least a half hour period of time to catch her before another emotional swell (although after what you did to her, the emotional scarring will always be there...); go! Quick! Or you'll be too late! Go, go, go!
Jeff: I didn't do anything! It was all Steve's fault! She's not actually an emotional lesbian cow! Which I told her quite-- *door slamming*
T.R.: *pleased sigh* God, that never gets old. G'nite, Fandom! And have a prosperous twenty more years.
*click*
T.R.: Well, it's kind of complicated, Murdock. See, while some of us...most of us, have aged twenty years and think we're ba-- Oh, never mind. I've probably already confused you, haven't I?
Jeff: To be fair, I think I was already sort of confused before I got here.
T.R.: A-yup. But, anyway, it's Monday, and we're here to do radio on Monday like we always have. Except for when we did it on Tuesdays. And, before that, just me, on Wednesdays, but it's kind of hard to imagine a point in time where Murdock technically didn't exist in the world scope. Think on that one.
SCHOOL: WHICH WE DON'T GO TO ANYMORE
Jeff: Comparative Religions is still going? It's even still being taught by my old Opposite Sex teacher. Hi, Professor Mal Doran! There's a lecture and handouts, Luke discusses the 'reunion mess' - I thought it was a nice mess, I mean reunion, honestly - with Karal who also tries to speak to Professor Mal Doran, and then the notes move on to Sex Ed -- this schedule sounds oddly familiar. It has another one of those lectures like I haven't in years, I should've been guest speaking in this class, I've got a lot of theories that might help. Do the students know about the Sock Gap? It's very important to plan out your sock-removal during foreplay, you don't want to know where you might end up otherwise. ...Well, you'll likely end up a naked man in socks, and really, no self-respecting women would get near that. I hope everyone learned this at the Q&A.
T.R.:....you're not really naked if you're wearing socks, though. How many times have I tried explaining that?
Jeff: I'm sorry, but we'll just have to disagree on that. You've never tried to do the squelchy in socks before. Lulu and Rikku catch up, and Jean-Paul the old maths professor asks her about the past week. Oh, and Sokka asks her out! He fails, though. Did you mention breasts? It's better if you don't mention the breasts to their faces, I've found. Unless they speak another language, then it's all right.
T.R.: But, you know, with Lulu, it's hard. Her breasts practically are her face...
Jeff: It's photography day in Art Class. I'm undecided about photography, honestly, you never know what's going to happen. Another lecture and then the class plays with cameras. Afterwards, Professor Steve and Namine discuss the weirdness, and honestly, it's Fandom, you'd think people would start discussing more important things. Like underwear and lesbians. Jamie apologises for things he hasn't done yet which I think is a bit over the top, Professor Steve's a bloke, he'll understand. After he punches you around a bit.
T.R.: Yeah, but it's Madrox. I say that's just good planning on his part. In that Top Model class, they talked about the future of fashion. Wasn't that actually one of the themes for ANTM a few hundred gazillion times? Hello, copyright infringement. Everyone mostly listened, except for Isabel and Peter Petrelli, who talked about being normal and healthy. Relatively speaking, I'm sure. Lee was still shirtless. Evie and the squirrels agree that this is a good thing.
Jeff: Couldn't someone else have been shirtless, too? It doesn't seem very equal opportunity, you know, I'm certain Mister Deadpool would agree.
T.R.: I'm not taking off my shirt, Murdock.
*significant silence*
T.R.: ....A-HEM. Keeping your Wits class jumps off moving trains. Seriously. I hope you all really realize how amazing our alma mater here is. There's a lecture, and then train jumping. And then Lana talked to Wilson and gets out of train jumping. Why would you want to? Then again, I suppose not everyone's insurance covers that...
Jeff: ...Sometimes it's a very necessary skill.
T.R.: Rikku is singing in the cafeteria. Yup. And Sam relives the good old days in the library. He's still tall, as Thursday reveals, having no trouble recognizing him at all. Meg doesn't have much trouble either. Evelyn marvels at the unchanging *ahem* Fandom library, and other things don't change, like Dean bring Sam lunch and Sam and Peter being flirty. Twenty years, and more flirting still goes on in that library than studying, I'll bet. You're all nerds.
Jeff: It's not really a library as much as a flirtary, really. The office is still open and Anakin still has hours. He's still here? That's sort of impressive, that. Formerly Union River comes by. Hello, River! Remember when we took over the hotel and you trapped Gunther in that room? I mean the third time we did it, not the second time, obviously, there was no pie involved that time. Jaina makes sure he's the proper age, which is a little tactless, isn't it? Then there's Bill and John who wants to know if Anakin still hates him. Perhaps you shouldn't ask him that directly. It seems a little... suicidal. And Luke! He helped me in class once when I was accidentally naked, which was really nice.
T.R.: You were accidentally naked a lot, Murdock. You're.....still accidentally naked a lot.
Jeff: I'm a hermit now, it's allowed. Mister Deadpool cleans by watching models on the television, and Turtle. is there to show off. Eve wants to know why he hasn't blown up a planet or overthrown a government yet and apparently someone named Nate is to blame for not taking anything over yet. I don't think I've ever met anyone named Nate, is he local? Sokka wants a rematch, and Rikku wants a tackleglomp - that all seems a bit violent, doesn't it? Kabuto is creepy, apparently, and Haku is a woman. Except for where he's not. I was almost a woman once, you know, but then I ran into some poultry.
T.R.: Thank God for poultry. Tomoe is jet-lagged in his office...ugh. Jet-lag is awful! Aly had some office hours today, and Teddy stopped in to catch up with the old spy teacher and thank her for her guidance through the years. Aw. Ronan is also very grateful for her tutelage. I would also thank Aly for something she taught my younger, impressionable fourteen year old self, but....no. And she knows why. Zuko stops by without realizing that not everyone's in the same timeline at the moment. I know. Crazy. It worries me that I'm as used to it as I am. Madrox? Also flaily, because Aly's not wee like he's used to, and there's more Fandom Time Crap there than I want to bother touching. Rikku stops in and gets recognized because who else would talk that fast? Peter Parker and Billy also make appearances, more time talk there, too, I bet. As does Aravis. Who is knocked up. God, I shouldn't laugh, but I really can't help it....I know, I know, almost everyone is popping out kids now, but....I don't know. The fact that I'll never have to go through that just fills me with GLEE. Haku wants to know Aly's secret to looking so young and fresh. The answer, clearly, is Fandom. Either way, Seely approves. Sora and Squall have a little pow-wow at the latter's office hours, and, apparently, people are still stupid enough to go to Stinson for love advice because Hoshi's telling him about her man-juggling.
Jeff: That sounds slightly painful.
DORMS: BUT WE STILL LIVE HERE. WEIRD.
T.R.: So, I'm not sure if I'm getting this right, but I'll try. Ino and Kabuto have an early morning fling, although I think the Kabuto that Ino is married to is not this Kabuto. WOOOOW. That's impressive. Also, the awkwardness between Johnny and Savannah only got worse once she revealed that he's her baby's daddy. Man, I miss reporting on all you crazy kids. This is better than a soap opera. And, thanks to Lee and River talking and drinking, there's emo even, too! What more could a girl want, except maybe a margarita in one hand and cell phone in the other, closing out a multi-million dollar buyout? Andrew....I wonder if we can still call him 'that weird bloke'? Anyway, he gets visited by Neil, who's one of those "still twenty years behind" people, and was apparently kind of a jerk. So I guess we can call him that Mean Bloke Andrew, if we wanted. This leads to Neil being emo in his room. So we can call him That Really Mean Bloke Andrew. But, you know, every soap opera needs a villain...
Jeff: I thought he was doing better, but apparently he's evil after all. That happens a lot. At least he hasn't blown up the school yet, that would really be disappointing, you know, I think I've still got some videos here.
T.R.: Yup, I guess you were actually right about something, there. Good job, Murdock. In more baby-daddy news, Eve got to deal with a weepy Savannah as she tries to get comfort over the fact that Johnny didn't take the news well. Also weepy is Lana, which just means some things never cha--
*chittering*
What? She was still a teenager? Oh. Some things never change. Including, apparently, Lana's age.
Jeff: Annette gets bad news over the phone. Phones do get a bit better with time, but phoning is still often bad news, so I sympathise a lot. Apparently her son got kidnapped, which isn't good. Obviously. Johnny who is probably still a harlot - you should speak to Patrick - then phones his daughter and Eve's upset with him and then there's something about a bloke named Maury. Then he speaks to Haku about, you know, the sort of things people speak about at reunions. ...Be careful. Savannah returns drunk which might lead to some incidents, you better watch out for that, you don't want to end up in your best friend's bedroom stealing his girlfriend's-- actually, returning drunk to places seems to have worked out for me a bit. Then she chats with Anders a bit. Rikku's on the net, hi Rikku, remember that time I phoned you and you were naked? And Hoshi's reunion was really busy, and Ronan and the harlot do something I don't particularly want to mention.
T.R.:....something harlot-y?
Jeff: It's in the definition.
T.R.: Indeed it is. In my old common room, and, therefor, clearly, the best, Valentine is watching soap operas, and, Valentine, just go out and talk to your fellow alumnus. Same thing. Oh! I wonder if he still wears that mask? Or is he still a teenager? Notes don't say. Squirrels are too busy reporting on important stuff that actually matters, I guess. Like Rikku poking him. Oh! And here it says he is still eighteen. Which also answers my mask question, but doesn't seem as fulfilling. Valentine, you're like the empty carbs of reunions, my friend. I...don't know what that really means. I'm sorry. Jack remembers Valentine's juggling and Sokka uses Fandom Chicken as a memory jogging tool for Valentine. Awwww, I miss that film! Valentine's happy to see Cassandra looking so young and fresh and that sounded dirtier in my ears than it did in my head, while he's not happy to see Sora looking so old. Yeah, way to cause a complex, Valentine. It's people like you that keep my jerk-off brother-in-law in business. Sora's complex is sure to continue as Kou freaks out at him and being generally confused...was he at least wearing pants? I remember only one thing about Kou and that's a distinct lack of pants.
Jeff: ...He should've gotten a set of emergency ones, it's the only way to prepare for these kind of situations, they happen more often than you'd think.
Ronan's attempting to be thoughtful on the emo roof. But then Johnny shows up to use the roof appropriately, much like Neil, and then River smiles a lot to break the emo streak. Jack and Ronan meet up for the first time, took you some time, but Jenny's just there to share cigarettes. Some things don't change, do they? Cass tries to figure Ronan out but apparently fails and dances with Anemone instead which seems like it's far more exciting. Would you like to see my sketches? Su always loved my sketches... I really need to go talk to her.
T.R.: ...I've seen your sketches. I do not need to see them again. Su probably doesn't need to either. Also, you need to stop leaving them where Alice can find them when you visit, Murdock, or else Angela is never going to let her near me if you're even on the same side of the pond.
Jeff: I'm just helping inspire a new generation! Adam's working out at the gym, and then Bill shows up and fills him in on how things have been, which must be a running theme right now. Personally, I prefer sharing theories instead. What's the point of all of this life experience if you can't share pointers? There's a lot of danger out there. Karal daydreams on the lawn and I think I can hear Nana spazzing here where it mentions the horse. Funny, that, 'cos that dog is indestructable. He discusses that old plague thing that I missed back in the day with Jaina. And Cassandra really likes the horse, unlike my dog who I thought was dead except she's not.
T.R.: Blaze taints the roof with horrible music....
~Why do birds!....suddenly appear~
...What the...?
~ev-very time!...you are ne-ear!~
NO! Bad squirrel! Bad squirrel! We do not do that here! Give...me...that! ANYWAY. Pam and....Collie! I mean Collie! Oh, wow. It's been a while, what can I say? So, Collie and Jim are down by the pool. Considering how little things change around here, I'm guessing they're either being, quote, 'OMG ADORABLE' or plotting a prank.
GOOD OL' TOWN
Jeff: Detective Montoya's in at the Trooper Station. Does she still do that thing where she just stands around and people tell her things? 'Cos that was really sort of excellent. Agent Cooper's there - I'm certain he brought doughnuts. I haven't had any of those in years. Xander is in at Mauvaise Chance with Robin and my old Communication professor. I miss my other old Communication professor. She had really nice breasts. Oh, and Dawn brings doughnuts!
Chad was at Groovy Tunes, which I remember 'cos I was there, hiding and everything. As is Evie, except she isn't hiding, she just feels Chad is 'hot'. Has he got the same gift as Patrick? 'Cos that would explain a lot. Then he tells my little sister he's a concubine to an alien emperor, which I think is something Patrick would really disagree with. On the other hand, I've never been entirely certain about Sally, so perhaps that happened to him, too. ...Sally's an alien! Now I understand it! I've been wondering all these years how that could happen... oh god, do you think she's got him under mind control?
T.R.: Only in so far as any good woman has any man under mind control.
Jeff: You've met Patrick. You know it's odd. I never thought it would happen to him, you know, he was some sort of-- superhero.
And then Robin and Haku are there, and Turtle is at the old shop with Jamie who's all 'I WANT TO CALL YOU THAT TOO', and really, it's been T.R. for a long time now, you'd think people would catch up, wouldn't you, Turtle? Then Sora gets recognised, I really like it when people recognise me, it doesn't happen all that often. Oh, and Bill again! With the eye patch!
That scary woman is pregnant at J,GOB, and I am really happy I wasn't there, last time I saw a pregnant person it was Steve's Susan and she was... I don't want to talk about it. *laughs nervously* No wonder he went mad and thought my Susan was a lesbian cow! ...I'm still not talking to him. Often. Gavin teases her about it which is just playing with your life, honestly, haven't you learned anything? Millie was at Book Haven, and George Michael was at the banana stand. ...That all sounds oddly familiar. Joanna was there making banana innuendo, and honestly, you could do better than bananas, bananas are sort of frightening, you know, they make me tense. Like apples! Or perhaps it's just that I'm tense normally and bananas are very easy to blame.
Annette is at the Post Office! It's really just like old times. She meets my little sister - why haven't I met my little sister? Ino! Phone me! I'll be in Narnia, though, so I hope you've got good long distance. And that weird artist bloke who needed all that help and hopefully got it arrives. At the Post Office, I mean, it's not the sort of place one would generally arrive at, except for when you go there, but sometimes it can't be helped.
Naomi celebrates old times at Sparky's with Bill, who must've dropped a letter or so since the last time I saw him, it seems a little short.
T.R.: Leo is paranoid at the Photo Hut, which I'm sure has nothing to do with Mary Jane. Charlie, meanwhile, seems to still occasonally likes to make "sandcastles" down at the beach, and she meets up with Robin, the frog, because I've got a feeling that they're both still here, frog-Robin and not-frog-Robin.
Jeff: It's always been important to differentiate your Robins here. Sometimes I forget and do that at home.
T.R.: Never forget to differentiate your Robins. It's one of my keys to success. Ghanima Atreides arrived today, and, yes, I'm very proud of the fact that I think I pronounced that right. Cassandra, who is still endearingly young, because Fandom is like that, opened Cafe Fina. Speaking of Fandom and its wibbly wobbly, timey wimey-ness, Renee stops in, knows Cassandra, but Cassandra doesn't know her, so she meets her while Renee re-meets her. And then, hopefully, amid all of that, Renee got her dinner, because I assume that's what she came into Cafe Fina for. And then Billy stops in to discuss what I just mentioned. Fandom. Wibbly wobbly. Timey Wimey. I would trademark that if someone else already hadn't. And then Jack catches up with Cassandra, too. None of these notes mention actual dinner eating, which mildly bothers me.
Jeff: I was eating dinner. *laughs* It fell in shape and everything. It's like if you're on this bus and there's these cheerleaders...
T.R.:....what?....wait, never mind. Everyone's least favorite chef, Gunther, is probably being annoying at The Arms Hotel. Murdock here stopped in to tell Mary all about his fantastic, but disappointing, adventures on the isle of Lesbos. Tell me, Murdock. How often did Mary's breasts factor into the conversation?
Jeff: I'd say it was about a seven, breast-factor wise.
T.R.: Anyway, River stopped in to catch up with Mary. I'm sick of that phrase, 'catch up.' Especially since Mary and Hoshi do it, too. Leo wonders what Turducken is and Mary turns him over to Gunther. It's delicious, that's what it is. Really! Ghanima Atreides, which, really, is just a good name. It's different and noticeable. Anyway, she picked up a room. Cable is working at The Wellspring Arms and Meditation Center, and Ino comes in, but, apparently, this squirrel doesn't speak Cable. They talk about things that change, things that haven't. Wibbly wobbly.... Teddy came in to flaunt his royal status, and Cable asks how the empire's doing. Too many of you have been successful enough in politics to make me almost feel like a slacker. Stop that. Sokka comes in hankering for cryptic wisdom and shooting time. Rikku also stopped in to talk about time and destiny and, really, there's quite a focus on the same thing at Wellspring Arms, isn't there?
Jeff: Some people just tend to focus differently, I suppose. Personally, I prefer busoms. Well, and bottoms. You can't fault people if their cleavage happens to face another way.
T.R.: ....oh, wow, that one actually caused physical pain in my brain. Well done, Murdock. Savannah stops by to visit Sean and tell him about how her life has been *cough*babydaddy*cough*. And George Michael confesses to Mary that he's a pimp. I'm glad I decided to leave that whole Bluth trap alone after all.
Jeff: I did tell you the bananas were a sign of depravity.
T.R.: That you did. There was a reunion party in the park that I, for some reason, missed, which is just a bunch of networking opprotunities right down the drain. Eve, Murdock here, Annette, Hoshi, Zuko, Savannah, Billy, Robin, Jack, Andros, Naomi, Kabuto, Teddy, Sora, and whoever the heck Blaze is all arrived. Congratulations. You didn't die in twenty years. Katara and Haku caught up and Robin waved at Haku. There was, of course, the usual dosage of networkin--errr, I mean, mingling. Annette and Savannah caught up with things they do and then Annette tortured Billy by showing him pictures of her kids. I hate when people do that, but you still have to look at their ugly offspring and say nice things, or else there's no way you'll get the deal. Annette and Kabuto talked about how things haven't really changed....do they mean around Fandom, or just in general? Robin and Hoshi caught up and talked to one of Hoshi's friends on her telecom thingy. There was also, of course, food, where mingling could go hand in hand with eating. Very streamlined, that method. Haku and Teddy took advantaged of the combined benefits while eating and catching up.
T.R.: The nurse opened the clinic for the day, and apparently, Adah's there, with a visit from River. And she's still there when Katara swings by later for the evening. But at least that's all that happened? No one's brain broke too much!
...My insurance covers that, too, you know.
Jeff: Jolee makes Tino open the bar. Tino's still alive? I mean, I knew Jolee was going to live forever, but Tino comes as a bit of a shock. I thought he would have had some sort of aneurysm by now. Dean and Meg talk, and both Charlie and Robin - which Robin? I've been gone for twenty years and even I know to specify my Robins still! ... oh, I haven't got the time for this argument, I've got places to be.
T.R.: Places to be? Like where?
Jeff: Haven't got the time to explain! I have to catch Peter's closet before he leaves! And bring flowers! And a stereo! And... things!
T.R.: Peter's clos-- Oh! The Susan thing?
Jeff: Yes! The Susan thing! *sounds of scrambling* I've got to move! There may still be time! She may still be less emotional!
T.R.: Yes! I do believe you have a......oh, at least a half hour period of time to catch her before another emotional swell (although after what you did to her, the emotional scarring will always be there...); go! Quick! Or you'll be too late! Go, go, go!
Jeff: I didn't do anything! It was all Steve's fault! She's not actually an emotional lesbian cow! Which I told her quite-- *door slamming*
T.R.: *pleased sigh* God, that never gets old. G'nite, Fandom! And have a prosperous twenty more years.
*click*
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