Fandom Radio :: Tuesday, October 23rd.

[stocksgrrl.livejournal.com]

Jeff: Can we just get this done? I want to go home. I've got a film off tomorrow.

Turtle: Oh, what, so your film off is suddenly more important than your duty to the population of Fandom?

Jeff: Who cares about duty? It's not like it matters anymore.

Turtle: Jeff! You love radio....I mean, you love radio, right?

Jeff: It's not fair. Nothing is fair.

Turtle: *sounds of thunking* *muttering* Let's just get this done...



SCHOOL...NOT THAT IT MATTERS!

Turtle: Break is over, so that means we're back in school. Joy. In U.S. Government, Professor Lyman talked, probably a lot, about the Cabinet. Which, for all you ignorant fools, is not in the kitchen. Unless they're hungry. Andros took notes, in a Lyman class, which means his hand is probably killing him tonight,
and Lana and Anathema had questions to answer the question. When Lana does her TA thing, Professor Lyman chatted her up a little, to make sure she's not emoing all over the place; they talk parent's weekend and new boyfriends. Apparently, according to the notes, Professor Lyman's got one. Sam. And this, my friends, is what I call the blonde squirrel getting a taste of her own medicine.

Jeff: Swallow it, squirrel.

Turtle: Shop class had their midterm, ugh. A.J. was oddly giggly, and then word has it that everyone did mostly well, and then Naomi had her TA duties.

Turtle: Prophecy-mancy class talked about Chosen Ones.....mancy. Lana and Andrew discussed once when she was possessed by an evil witch. I used to want to be a witch, you know, but then I took magic classes here and realized I sucked at it. It was lame. The realizing I sucked, not the magic. Magic is still cool. Anyway, Andrew made Lana cry...

...Maybe Jeff is a bit right about Andrew. Andrew, stop being inconsistent! Chris was all Shifty McNervousson, and Annette kind of babbled. Lana and Chria, Andrew who makes girls cry, and Annette worked on some Tai Ching thing, and now I want Chinese food. The TAs where there and chatted with each other as usual, about Chris' totally normal, really, family life. Ahem.

Jeff: Please don't speak to me about family. Mad Science battles zombies. Zombies aren't that bad. They make for good films. I like zombies. Zombies don't have mothers. They just have earth. Earth isn't bad for you, it's all natural, it never hurt anyone. Except for landslides, but you don't have landslides all the time, most of the time the earth is very benign. There were supplies and attacks and everything. TAs and a teacher and what does it really matter? I won't make it past my next birthday.

Turtle:...when is your next birthday, Jeff?

Jeff: Next month. Fifteen Ways practices bodyguarding which is useless, they always get past you don't they? There's some talk of films and humming and everything, students got partners without do-si-do, whatever that might mean, TAs and helpful Aly and I don't want to do this tonight, Turtle. There's leopards in my head.

Turtle: Jeff, the weekend's over; you should be celebrating. If it wasn't so vile, I'd suggest you hit the rum like I did that one time.

Jeff: It's not over. She just wants me to believe it's over.

Turtle: *the very distinct sound of a facepalm* Oh, geez...

Jeff: Anemone opens the library where Adah glares at her a lot and there's more mistaken identity issues, which is horrible, isn't it? Students had a revolution at the Chef's or apparently not. Really. I don't know.

Turtle: ....Jeeeeeeeff. No emo on my radio, got it? Miss Kerrigan had her office hours today and Billy stopped by so they could talk about his crazy, crazy foster parents. And then she received a small bowling trophy, which I actually think is a real, honest-to-goodness note and not the blonde squirrel being...the blonde squirrel. Especially since Doctor Wilson received one in his office, too. I WANT ONE. *ahem* Constable Fraser did not receive one, but I think he should get a trophy for moose kicking, Mister Skywalker didn't get one, either, but he did get a call from either Aeryn or those annoying Jedi Master Monthly telemarketers. Mister Stinson joins the trophy-less bunch, but Constable Fraser stops by to discuss how Canadian he is (he kicks mooses and has a cool hat! Come on!) and Jim stops by to discuss pranks.

DORMS...OH, GOD, WHO CARES?

Turtle: So, not a lot happened in the dorms today. A.J. and Beauty had a painting project, but they didn't seem to get very far.
Those kids need to learn better productivity. They end up smooching on the bed instead. Karal and Altra...I think that's his cat....are doing absolutely nothing in the hayloft of the stable. The stable has a hayloft? Why do I feel this is cool? And then Hoshi is in the gym, brushing up on her...ai...ki...do...aikido. I think. Adam stops by and they talk training and parents weekend. That's all. That's kind of crazy.

Jeff: Everything is crazy. Nothing is crazy. Crazy is all things. My breakfast was crazy. There were beans.

TOWN: WE LIKE IT BLACK, JUST LIKE OUR SOULS

Turtle: I know what the notes for the Arms Hotel are not true because the blonde squirrel is a word for another animal that rhymes with the word witch. It says dirty things happened between Jeff and his dog, which I know aren't true, because Jeff hates his dog. And I know that what really happened is that Andrew stopped in with cookies, which were edible, as I proceeded to check them when I came to check Jeff out...I mean, check on Jeff. Um...anyway, Blackheart's working at Pixie Dust where Miss Bell shows up to annoy him, and two very normal guys with not normal names like 'Jean-Pierre' and 'Lester' (clearly psuedinyms) are at OrangeShoeSevenAide, vowing to never stop taking meds as they close up the shop. Which means less competition for me. YAY. Errr, I mean, we'll miss you 'Jean-Pierre' and 'Lester.' Though I doubt those are your real names! Nothing happens at the Post Office, as usual.

Jeff: They should be grateful.

Turtle: Miss Valentine's a little emo at Groovy Tunes, but Peter of the Petrelli variety manages to wrangle a date out of her after learning that drummers are a lot like psychics only noisier. I don't....get that.

Jeff: It's all the banging.

Turtle: I...I guess drummers do get to bang a lot, don't they? At the Mauvaise Chance Apartments, Xander-my-name-is-cool-'cause-it-has-an-X sends out some IMs, our drunken blonde floozy squirrel mentions an ostrich because she thinks it's last week, and Isabel brings doughnuts and an apology for not warning him about his mother or something. Mel reaps the benefits of Isabel's gift as Xander-my-name-is-cool-'cause-it-has-an-X offers her some of the doughnuts, and she sheepishly thanks Xander-my-name-is...you get the point.

Turtle: Ino was laaaate to work at the Wellspring Arms & Meditation Center, where she's hugging a pillow and, Jeff! If you weren't at work today, I'd be upset that you weren't there to give your little sister support. Thankfully, Mister Cable was there to....I think the blonde squirrel strikes again, as she's telling me there were underwear pillow fights and we are not talking about that again this week! And then nothing happened at Turtle & Canary today. That makes me very, very sad, people. Do you realize what sort of value you're missing out on by not shopping Turtle & Canary? DO YOU? And then Robin-the-not-frog had her radio show. It's Swarley Day! I have no idea what that means, because I was working. But I'll have to remember to have the radio tuned in next Tuesday. Collie and Katara meet at the Perk to draw either gross things or animals or probably both, or none, I can't tell, because the blonde squirrel is full of evil.

Jeff: ...Blonde squirrel says Adah was dancing the flamenco in the Perk. I don't trust this information. Evie is 'all eek'. Whatever that means. Jack Burton is moping at Photo Hut. He plays Dirty Battleship with Leo. Giles is brooding at the Magic Box. George Michael is at the bananer stand. I don't know why anyone would even care, the apocalypse is happening, might as well sit at home with tinfoil over our heads. Apparently Mary comes over and there's talk of kissing and everything. Kissing's nice. We should stick to that instead of opening things, it seems like a more time-efficient method of working up to the end of all things.

Turtle: Jeff, the world is not going to end; stop that.

Jeff: Yes, it is. And if it isn't, it should.

Turtle: Why?

Jeff: Because otherwise my mother will return.

Turtle: ....oh brother...

Jeff: And then Rikku picks up the 'Retarded Kitten Oracle' at OrangeShoeSevenAide. Kittens. Kittens are good. They're better than Saint Bernards, they are, they aren't big enough to block off your doors and they don't fall asleep in useless places when your mother comes to visit. I wonder if we could refine kittens into a weapon? She and Valentine name it Cuban Pete which must be horrible when the kitten goes to high school. Namine opens Cafe Fina and Cass is there being all quiet-like. Except when she's speaking. And no scary animals at Wonders of the World, which is possibly a good thing, I don't know.

Jeff: Apparently the Partridge Family was in town today, and they all had three or four names. Luke Skywalker Keith Patridge, Reuben Johnny Fever, Anakin Skywalker Shirley Patridge - that must've been awful as a child - and Josh Lyman Laurie Patridge. Their parents still aren't as bad as mine. Artoo was there too but he's only got the one name. And there were some chairs. That's always the way, isn't it? Josh is flipping his hair at rehearsal and Artoo is making an awful racket about it. Must be excellent hair. Like Turtle's. Peter Parker's representing the press and has Josh flirt with him for it, which must be better than a squirrel at least. Keith thinks Aly is the president of his fan club. That was fast. Gavin admires Luke's velvet clothes (isn't that uncomfortable?) and get a hug from Anakin which must've been nice. The Sheriff compliments Anakin on his own uncomfortable velvet pantsuit. Is velvet really that popular in this time? It seems a little... off. Luke hits on Molly and Melody dances happily a lot. That's nice. Robin the Frog cheers and John from Sheppard compliments Luke a lot. Is this about the pantsuit again? That velvet must do a lot for people. Dawn finds out Luke's not much of a ladies man but gets introduced regardless and apparently she's in awe of the costumes, too. I feel as if I'm missing something.

Turtle: ...I feel bad for saying this with you so mopey, Jeff, but I will never speak to you again if you get a velvet pantsuit. I'm sorry, but...I just....no.

Jeff: I'm not planning on it, it sounds awfully uncomfortable. Zoe dies laughing. That's a good way to go, I think. I would like that. You don't need to worry as much about your hair. Jaina doesn't want an autograph which is sort of a mean thing to go about telling people. Luke tells Jo about Artoo's discipline or art problems, I don't know, I'm not some sort of... problemologist. Although this squirrel informs me that he did so smarmily, but it's the blonde one so I'm not certain how reliable this information is. Anathema is allowed to take pictures and Isabel asks for an autograph, unlike Jaina who's just evil. Then there's a concert and Gavin asks for 'Sweet Transvestite' and Luke talks Anakin into it. That sounds interesting. Then they play their greatest hit but the harmony's a bit off. Oh, you're a music critic now, squirrel? Robin gets help. That's a good thing. I'm certain. People are always telling me I need it. Molly gets a song dedicated and then apparently it all stops.

Turtle: ....just like that?

Jeff: Just like that.

Turtle: ....Awww, that's too bad. That all sounds like a riot.

Jeff: Wyatt orders flowers at the clinic which seems very unhygienic. Other doctors are also there so hopefully they sterilized. Dick feels funky sick at Caritas which sounds awful. Nobody's there but Annette and her tales of colleges and does she think we'll live that long? I find that awfully optimistic. At least there's free drinks at the Devil's Nest. Sounds a slight bit more sensible to me.



Turtle: There, Jeff. No more notes. Happy?

Jeff: No.