Fandom Radio, October20th

[saltandammo.livejournal.com]

Sam: Good evening, Fandom. This is Sam and Dean Winchester with all the news that's fit to report from the squirrels. And I mean all. I think I might hate 98% of the people in this town by the time we're done here.

Dean: That's because you're way too nice and forgiving. I'm fully expecting to hate 100% of the people by the time we're done. *pause* At least the ones I'm not related to.

Sam: Nice save. I can't believe I'm about to say this, but do you know where the rum is stashed? For later.

Dean: I think the squirrels have it hidden so we don't pass out before we're done.

Sam: I don't know if that's brilliant or sadistic.


School, in which everyone who has an office decided to actually use them

Sam: In honor of Parents Weekend, Professor Skywalker had office hours, where he was visited by Alanna, who talked with him about having kids at the school, Simon Tam, who came to talk about River, and Irulan and the Reverend Mother.

He also got snarked at by Mara Jade, and talked with Layla Miller about the future, since she apparently knows stuff. Yoda talked to Anakin about Qui-Gon and a Master Dooku, and somewhere in there, he managed to field a phone call.

Dean: Being a Jedi means you multi-task well?

Sam: I guess so. Either that or he's starting to live in his office.

Dean: *to squirrels* Any sign of a pillow and blankets in Anakin's office?

*chittering*

Sam: Well, stay on the lookout and let us know, 'cause that needs to be stopped before he goes crazy. In Professor Beaubier's office hours, someone named Steve came by with beer for him, and someone named Jeanne-Marie asked him if he was dead. Uh, since he's working here, I'm going to say no?

Professor Kerrigan had office hours, and Simon dropped by there too to ask about River. Lee and Kerrigan both agreed that Lee's dad is a jerk who is hopefully not listening to this broadcast as we speak, and Billy's parents came by to see how he's doing in Tactics class. Elsewhere, our beloved Vice Principal used his office hour time to play with his Wii, and got a visit from someone named Bruce Wayne.

At Aly's office hours, someone named Caroline came by on behalf of Seely, and gave Aly the stamp of approval. Go ahead, take a moment to be absolutely not surprised. Constable Fraser came by and told Aly she can't listen to the radio. I'd joke that someone must have done something they weren't supposed to and it's going to get broadcasted, but that doesn't narrow things down much.

Jamie and Layla stopped by, seemingly for the express purpose of allowing Jamie to laugh at Aly. Dude, did you forget which classes she teaches? She could blow you up in a way that wouldn't leave a trace. Billy's parents also stopped by to check on his progress in class, and Molly's friend Nico came by just to ask about the class in general.

Dean: The class is totally awesome. And I'm not just saying that because I'm the TA.

Sam: No, you're not at all biased. *laughs*

Dean: Damn straight.

Sam: Ares got a visit from Lee's father during his office hours, and Principal Washburn got a visit from Savannah's guardian, who wanted an explanation on why Savannah's living with a boy. Oops? Simon came by to chat, Mrs. Petrelli came to ask about the school's security, and then there was a lost, talking horse.

...okay, for a second there, I thought I accidentally started drinking already. Sorry about that.

Dean: Was the horse named Mr. Ed?

Sam: It doesn't say. That might not be out of the realm of possibility with who's here this weekend though.

Dean: That would be so cool if it was.

Sam: Yeah, and not at all freaky, of course.

Dean: Compared to everything else that goes on? Nope, not at all.

Sam: ...good point. Ms. Harriet Jones, Dean of Students followed the office hours lemmings, and spoke with Lee's dad about Lee's discipline issues. Have I mentioned how nice it is to not have to worry about surprise parental visits? Because it really is.

Dean: Yeah, we have to behave all the time. What? Why are you looking at me like that?

Sam: Because you make it sound like it's a bad thing that we behave.

Dean: And I will bring up which of us has had detention more than the other and it isn't me.

Sam: The lottery hates me!

Dean: Poor baby. I'll buy you a lucky rabbit's foot for Christmas.

Sam: With my luck, the thing would be cursed. Anyway, in a shocking turn of events, Professor Stinson had office hours, complete with a video loop of Principal Mick Jagger outside the door. Someone named Florian stopped by to ask what Professor Stinson's classes are like, and he mentioned Karal's crush on him instead. How very teacherly and not awesome of you, Mr. Stinson.

Someone named Talia stopped by, as did Nico, but Mr. Stinson couldn't remember Molly, so that didn't do much good.

Dad decided to have office hours too, and was visited by Mrs. Petrelli, who warned him that Peter's going to screw up in class at some point. Um, I'm going to assume that's a squirrel transcription error. Claire's dad came by to ask about her schoolwork and her dating status, and I'm really hoping Dad's not well-informed about that second part, and there was a visit by Kermit the Frog.

Professor Tyler's office hours were graced by Liz's guardian, who checked on her progress, and by Kermit as well.

Professor Deadpool got a visit from Turtle's parents, who got a mini-lecture on Bea Arthur in return, and Jeff's mother came in while Deadpool was looking at porn. I don't think I wanted to know that. Like, at all.

It turns out that the talking horse belongs to Aravis - at least, that's what it told Deadpool - and Layla and Deadpool traded "How to Annoy Jamie" stories. One of you might want to share those with Principal Washburn. Just FYI.

Evie's brother was intrigued by the porn, and Kermit was just intrigued by Deadpool. Rikku's cousin Yuna also came by, and thanked Deadpool for looking after Rikku.

Yondaime did what all the other teachers did today, and got a visit from Billy's mother who wanted to make sure he's doing all right in Yondaime's class.

Constable Fraser had office hours, and received a DVD, which Mr. Stinson later informed him is of Robin. Hopefully not the student, because that would just be weird. And Bruce Wayne also stopped by, to ask about security in the town.

Vala...oh, you know what she did, just like Professor Lyman, and Aly stopped by to warn him that her parents want to meet him, and that he should be as occupied as possible to avoid any plans. That's not very nice. It's funny. But not nice.

Dean: Yeah, but like you said, funny. Funny's good when it's not us.

Sam: *laughs* Exactly.


Dorms, where people go when they're trying to hide from their unwanted relatives

Dean: Over in the dorms, Isabel and Wyatt were snuggly in the morning while Chris and Lana woke up after a night of drunken groping. When Wyatt walked in on them, he was less than happy with Lana. Dude, usually you should be happy your brother is getting some.

Johnny and Savannah argued about him hating or not her guardian Paige. Did she make you put a tape line down the center of your room?

Sam: If she did, just humor her until she's gone. Uh, not that Dawn and I did anything like that.

Dean: Of course not. Dork. Annette was upset over radio while Wyatt and Chris told Prue how their parents aren't really dead. Which she already knew it turned out, so wow, anticlimatic.

Karal and Altra were out in the preserve, Billy told Adam he had surprise visitors this weekend, and Mel, Bridge, Dawn, Sam, Xander, Willow and Katara went into the sewers. *pause* Dude, the sewers?

Sam: I don't want to talk about it.

Dean: Okay, yeah, that makes me feel so much better. Not. Come on, spill.

Sam: *sighs* I'll tell you later, all right? When we're not neck deep in papers.

Dean: I'm holding you to that. Bruce surprised Cassandra in her dorm room, and Jack Burton came by to see Cass was busy. Being surprised, one assumes.

Jim and Pam celebrated his birthday at Platypus, and were completely adorable according to the squirrels. I suppose that's a step up from cute.

Corran teased Gavin when they weren't talking X-Wings, and Inara asked to meet Gavin later because she was upset about an earlier meeting. Hopefully not with Gavin. Also she got to meet Corran.

Inara also ran into Mal outside the Perk and he was all offended she doesn't remember her husband. Either she still has a touch of amnesia left over from a few weeks ago or maybe it's another case of wrong Inara? Simon also recognised Inara but she didn't know him either.

The Petrellis talked about their weekend so far and made plans for today. Casidy visted Mac and Peter Petrelli brought Nathan to see his room and meet Mac.

Jessica Drew climbed in Peter Parker's window and they talked about old friends. Gwynn and Eve were bored and talked music, Adam told Eve about his friends visiting, and Annette wrote in her journal.

Harry was all emo until he gained a Ginny. Hagrid arrived outside and yelled for Harry who directed him to the staircase. Dude, haven't you ever heard of a cell phone? Harry also had a Hermione.

Sam: Dirty? Because if he had Hermione and a Ginny...

Dean: Guess it all depends on what a Hagrid is.

Sam: Bonus dirty? I think you've been rubbing off on me.

Dean: I'm so proud. So there was a cheerleading demo in the gym this afternoon. Before the demonstration, River and Claire discussed what their family members would think about cheerleading, and Seely, Savannah, Z, Annette, Sheppard and Chad all stretched. Paige glanced around for Savannah. Naomi sat with Icheb and Janeway, and Johnny Storm sat too. Karal, Talia and Florian watched the cheerleading and chatted about Fandom, and Kat was there to watch too, as are Han and Jaina, who are there to specifically watch Sheppard. Nico found out that Molly's a cheerleader, then found out why and it's all good.

Aly made an introduction before the demo, and then there was much cheering from Molly, Sheppard and Annette and Nico cheered back at Molly. And there was tossing people.Sheppard throwed River while Savannah and Annette waited their turn. Simon was a little confused by it all, but Claire's dad was all proud of her. Except when he was on his cell phone. I'm not sure how a phone can make someone less proud...

Johnny Storm told Simon that River's cool and has friends who don't think she's weird.Simon was still confused.

After the demo, Claire's dad was very proud of her -- apparently he got off his anti-proud cell phone -- and he'd took pictures.

Tonight in the second floor common room, Meg watched All Hallow's Eve. I joined her and was just generally awesome.

Sam: I'm almost positive that the notes do not say you were awesome.

Dean: I totally was. I know, because I was there.

Sam: Your editorial abilities are just astounding, you know that?

Dean: I'm awesome that way too. Ino was brooding on the roof and was found by Chouji and Shikamaru. She was less than thrilled about this and they talked tactics and some failed mission.

Down in her room, Savannah was upset that Paige might take her out of school, and Eve came by to see how she was doing.


Town, where the unwanted relatives roam free

Sam: Over in town, Sheriff Mustang showed his apartment to someone named Riza, and introduced her to Aly. Deadpool made breakfast before going off to his office hours, and got a visit from an Irene Merryweather who wanted to know what was going on. In town? In general? With Deadpool's outfit? Why are my important questions never answered in these notes?

Dean: Becuase you need to bribe the squirrels more?

Sam: I haven't made fun of them or threatened them in a while. Isn't that nice enough?

Dean: Apparently not if you're not getting the answers you want.

Sam: Fine. Maybe I'll share some of the rum with them after the broadcast. Squall got drunk at home, although it doesn't say whether that was because he got unwanted visitors, or didn't get wanted visitors this weekend. Sheriff Mustang doodled in the Trooper's Station, and introduced his friend Riza to Professor Kerrigan.

Sulley tried not to be big and scary while opening Turtle and Canary - something I'm sure many students with certain kinds of parents appreciated - and was visited by Sweetums, as well as Ron and Ginny.

Gabriel had donuts in the church - a friendly gesture? I might die of shock. George Michael accidentally squished his banana at his stand, and I don't care if the notes say that's not dirty, because there's no way that can sound clean.

Dean: That banana stand is just an endless source of dirty.

Sam: I just hope it's the good kind of dirty occasionally. At the hotel, Mary argued with Ed, and Hellboy ordered tea, while Lily was on the phone trying to figure out why someone is in Canada. Paige talked to Savannah about her roommate and having sex. I think they might have a closer guardian/ward relationship than most people. And Faith, who is firmly in the two percent of the population who I can never, ever hate checked in.

Ed tried to intimidate Stanley, and Stanley responded by spilling about Mary's mental health. Uh, isn't that illegal? Just pointing that out there for you. Elsewhere Simon and Mary talked about the Union.

Moist opened the post office, with a sign that says the lack of letters isn't his fault. Irulan and the Reverend Mother talked about spices at the Perk, while Hwin and Florian had a horse-date on the beach. I think I'm officially freaked out by the horses now.

Dean: Aw, I thought every little girl wanted a pony.

Sam: Oh, ha ha. Very funny. Bite me.

Dean: Not if you've been in the sewers. That's just nasty.

Sam: I took a shower when I got back.

Dean: Still nasty.

Sam: Whatever, jerk. River and Simon and Adah met at J,GOB, and everyone got along, much to River's delight. Wow, a happy Parents Weekend note. I didn't think we were going to have many of those.

Giles, following in Gabriel's footsteps, had donuts at the Magic Box. Hellboy stopped by to try to find a fire-proof charm, while Xander's mother went to buy him a "Congratulations for Being Gay" present. I didn't think the Magic Box sold that sort of thing. Dawn's Buffy stopped by as well, and got a big hug for her efforts.

River and Simon took a walk in the park, and Irulan ran into Simon, literally. They also ran into Evie and her brother Jonathan but that was the less painful kind of run-in. Teddy, Chad, Ichigo, and Phylla-Vell went to Pizza Planet, and some people congregated outside of the sewers for absolutely no reason at all.

Dean: Which you're so going to tell me when we're squirrel free.

Sam: I'll tell you, I promise. Just...relax, okay?

Dean: I'm relaxed!

Sam: Oh yeah, you definitely sound relaxed. *sighs* Haku was moping at the beach about someone named Zazuba not coming this weekend, but then it turned out he did come...and immediately proceeded to get into a fight where Haku knocked Zazuba out. Um. Okay. Evie went to find her brother, and was shocked to find him in bed with a woman. As opposed to finding him in bed with a guy, I guess?

Annette had an uncomfortable dinner with her dad at Ching Tai, complete with quizzing about classes and disapproval of class choices. I predict there's going to be some heavy drinking going on come Monday. Jack Burton took a walk in the park, while Hellboy tried to rescue a kitten from one of the trees.

Alanna watched the craziness from safely inside the Perk, and chatted with Isabel about the latest invasions. Dick talked to Alanna about his little brother, and mentioned that she's still really hot. I assume all of his limbs are still attached, but someone might want to go and check.

At the Photo Hut, Leo's brother Charlie tried to convince him to go out and find girls. Paige, Savannah, Johnny, and Sue all went out to dinner at Ching Tai, and ended up getting into a huge fight about Savannah and Johnny's relationship that ended with the two of them storming out. So much drinking on Monday. Caritas employees, be warned.

Aly, Josh, and Aly's parents also went to Ching Tai, but their dinner was much more peaceful. And Ed and Mary had a special dinner, until Ed told Mary about his conversation with Stanley from earlier.

Dean: Speaking of drinking, D'argo opened Caritas. Faith and Dawn -- hi Faith! We so need to hook up while you're here. -- talked about alcohol, Buffy and stuff Dawn did today. Y'know, the stuff Sammy and I are going to talk about as soon as we're off the radio.

Sam: You cannot hook up with Faith while she's here.

Dean: Why not?

Sam: Because you need to keep being "awesome" with Meg, for one thing.

Dean: I'm... not seeing the connection here.

Sam: *sighs* You don't think Meg might have a slight problem with you hooking up with another girl?

Dean: Faith and I have a.... whatachamacallit. Previous existing thing.

Sam: I honestly don't know how you haven't gotten beaten up by more angry girls in your life.

Dean: Girls love me.

Sam: Especially the clearly crazy ones.

Dean: Jealous. Dick and his brother talked and Cassidy mentioned meeting Mac. Andros came in, as did Florian with a long face. He talked to D'argo and was joined by Hwin, Bree, and Trenor and all the horses had drinks. Dude, there were horses in the bar? Drunk horses?

Dale was there getting a drink and got chatted up by Faith. Lucky dude.

Fraser boggled at the horses and wondered if we're being invaded. Yeah, by parents and other relatives. And, apparently horses.

Robin and Fraser talked about "The Video" and Robin Sparkles. Over in the lounge Willow met Lily and immediately checked to see if she was evil Willow. Lily also hung out in the lounge with Ted, Robin and Barney too.

Over at the Devil's Nest, Chris opened the bar. Lana came by to see him and they talked about his parents and also did some kissing.

Wyatt came in with Isabel, who was supporting him and Prue came in to support Chris... Okay this sounds like they're about to declare an election. Either that or are falling down drunk...

Sam: No, guys, wait until the parents leave before getting drunk.

Dean: Course if we followed that advice we'd never be able to get drunk. Prue also met up with her sister Piper, who in turn was there with Leo to talk to their kids and why they left them. Also there was Duma, the angel of silence who communicated with Lucifer. Silently.

Over in the clinic, Dr. Wilson had the evening shift and Angela Petrelli came in.

Vala set up a mixer in the park. With artwork. With pricetags on it. Jaina, Hellboy, Jessica Harris and Nico helped themselves to the food.

Florian and Aly investigated each other but didn't say anything. I'd say that's because one of them is a horse, but that doesn't seem to be slowing down any of the hoove having crowd in conversation.

Jaina and Sheppard congratulated themselves on surviving so far. Which is not so smart. You wait until the weekend is fully over before tempting fate like that.

Sam: Seriously. I fear for you guys tomorrow.

Dean: No kidding. With food and it being a mixer there was incredibly enough eating and mingling. Karal leaned against Florian and Molly joined them. They discussed the weekend and Molly told the horse about her mutant powers. Nico stopped by and declared she loves the school and the teachers and Karal. And she meets the horse.

Arashi and Aly said hi and exchanged visitor stories. Roy said hi to Aly and made sure her dinner with her parents went okay. He was also eating with Riza when Deadpool came up. Roy and Deadpool had tension but Riza liked the guns.

Bruce Wayne pretended to relax. Deadpool wondered if he knew him and Bruce complimented Layla's radio show.

Hellboy sat down gently -- which I suppose is better than sitting down roughly -- and Buffy hung out, Jo relaxed and people watched, Rose was present, and Lee drank in the crowd. Most people prefer drinking in bars.

Arashi people watched until Deadpool glomped him, Rose met Han, and Johnathan startled Irulan in the crowd.

And... Nathan Petrelli vaguely threated Sam. Dude, what the hell?

Sam: It was nothing. We just talked, that's all.

Dean: And he threatened you?

Sam: ...no?

Dean: You don't sound too sure.

Sam: It wasn't threatening. Just clarifying.

Dean: Yeah, I think I'll be doing some clarifying of my own tomorrow. Oh and there was dancing at the park thing too.


Sam: Hey, can we rewind for a moment? You're not going to be doing any clarifying tomorrow, okay? Let's just go and have our drinks and I'll fill you in on what happened this afternoon.

Dean: *grumbles* Not making any promises.

Sam: Yeah, we'll see about that. Good night everyone, and I hope you all have a safe and non-traumatizing rest of the weekend.