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fandom_radio2012-06-01 02:22 am
boobs-and-evil.livejournal.com) wrote in fandom_radio2012-06-01 02:22 am
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Fandom Radio, Friday, June 1st
Okay, you did win the bet, but -- that quarter is probably as big as your entire stomach.
*chittering*
No, no, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't impressed. I just hope you don't have trouble passing that later.
Good morning, Fandom. It's Callie Maggotbone and those are your news squirrels, one of whom is going to be very sick later on. But he or she also won a bet, the terms of which will be honored after I read out these notes. None of which are as interesting as quarter-swallowing rodents, I'd imagine.
SCHOOL
In Childcare and/or Sex Ed, everyone paired off to take their fake children on a fake road trip. Only the emotional scarring is real! Neither Susan nor Rilla actually know how to drive, but that's okay. Susan picks 'learning how to drive' over 'dealing with a cranky toddler,' thus proving she's the quicker of the two. Topher and Sparkle gag their fake child, making them more efficient than Susan or Rilla. Sparkle's only stolen a car once before, so I'm not sure if either of them know how to drive, either, but it's not that hard. They let most humans do it, and, well, you take my point.
Crypto-Long-Name class today talked about Mesmers and how they can control humans like puppets. So, what, they're good in bed? Class discussion is how to save a friend and then how you'd abuse the power yourself. Toby and Sparkle would use it defensively, but Loki would use it as a weapon. Thus surprising no one who has ever heard the name 'Loki' before. Trick and Sparkle argue about whether hurting people who would hurt other people is moral or not. Oh, humans. So caught up in your silly 'morals.' Thomasina thinks that mind control is okay since it's kind of like jail. I'd say you could use that argument backwards and get some hippies against jail. Fun class experiment for anyone who likes chaos and gets bored.
Adventures with a Crazy Pony learned about when Discord ruled the Land of Talking Ponies. Chocolate rain, huge apples, and missized animals all feature prominently. And then students have to talk the crazy out of Ponyland. Talking to crazy never works, kids. Oh, hang on, Aunt Callie has some life advice, so get a pen: don't try talking sense with crazy. It never works. And as a corollary: never sleep with crazy. You'll think that it's fine, he doesn't have my real name, she doesn't know where I live? Ha. Crazy will find you. Crazy sex is great and all but it's not worth --
*chittering*
These are valuable life lessons. I'm saving lives, here. Or at least preventing some.
DORMS
Nothing. I have no notes for this. Whatever mischief all of you got up to, it seems like you locked your doors. Good for blackmail prevention, so I approve.
TOWN
At the Magic Box, Tara was working on bookkeeping. You'd think there would be a spell for that. William is working on a lie detector at Stark Industries. Now I want to volunteer to play guinea pig. Tinny's playing Facebook games at the Trooper Station -- my current favorite is Guess How Low Facebook Stock Will Be Today? And Kenzi's making Jell-O shots at Caritas.
Lastly, Ronan turns on the red light at 33 Apocalypse Avenue. We have a red light district? This island sucks a little less every week. Emma thinks the zombie lawn gnomes look creepy. That would definitely kill the red-light vibe. Unless those are the clientele Ronan has attracted thus far.
All right, Auntie Callie is out of notes, and she has to buy a case of rum for a squirrel that may or may not need to go to the hospital later. Sayonara.
(My niece, Chloe, actually did swallow a quarter -- two weeks ago. It seems to be stuck. So she's going to the hospital this morning to have it removed. Don't worry, she's fine -- she thinks it's hilarious, in fact -- but I couldn't help but put a shout-out in here.)
*chittering*
No, no, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't impressed. I just hope you don't have trouble passing that later.
Good morning, Fandom. It's Callie Maggotbone and those are your news squirrels, one of whom is going to be very sick later on. But he or she also won a bet, the terms of which will be honored after I read out these notes. None of which are as interesting as quarter-swallowing rodents, I'd imagine.
SCHOOL
In Childcare and/or Sex Ed, everyone paired off to take their fake children on a fake road trip. Only the emotional scarring is real! Neither Susan nor Rilla actually know how to drive, but that's okay. Susan picks 'learning how to drive' over 'dealing with a cranky toddler,' thus proving she's the quicker of the two. Topher and Sparkle gag their fake child, making them more efficient than Susan or Rilla. Sparkle's only stolen a car once before, so I'm not sure if either of them know how to drive, either, but it's not that hard. They let most humans do it, and, well, you take my point.
Crypto-Long-Name class today talked about Mesmers and how they can control humans like puppets. So, what, they're good in bed? Class discussion is how to save a friend and then how you'd abuse the power yourself. Toby and Sparkle would use it defensively, but Loki would use it as a weapon. Thus surprising no one who has ever heard the name 'Loki' before. Trick and Sparkle argue about whether hurting people who would hurt other people is moral or not. Oh, humans. So caught up in your silly 'morals.' Thomasina thinks that mind control is okay since it's kind of like jail. I'd say you could use that argument backwards and get some hippies against jail. Fun class experiment for anyone who likes chaos and gets bored.
Adventures with a Crazy Pony learned about when Discord ruled the Land of Talking Ponies. Chocolate rain, huge apples, and missized animals all feature prominently. And then students have to talk the crazy out of Ponyland. Talking to crazy never works, kids. Oh, hang on, Aunt Callie has some life advice, so get a pen: don't try talking sense with crazy. It never works. And as a corollary: never sleep with crazy. You'll think that it's fine, he doesn't have my real name, she doesn't know where I live? Ha. Crazy will find you. Crazy sex is great and all but it's not worth --
*chittering*
These are valuable life lessons. I'm saving lives, here. Or at least preventing some.
DORMS
Nothing. I have no notes for this. Whatever mischief all of you got up to, it seems like you locked your doors. Good for blackmail prevention, so I approve.
TOWN
At the Magic Box, Tara was working on bookkeeping. You'd think there would be a spell for that. William is working on a lie detector at Stark Industries. Now I want to volunteer to play guinea pig. Tinny's playing Facebook games at the Trooper Station -- my current favorite is Guess How Low Facebook Stock Will Be Today? And Kenzi's making Jell-O shots at Caritas.
Lastly, Ronan turns on the red light at 33 Apocalypse Avenue. We have a red light district? This island sucks a little less every week. Emma thinks the zombie lawn gnomes look creepy. That would definitely kill the red-light vibe. Unless those are the clientele Ronan has attracted thus far.
All right, Auntie Callie is out of notes, and she has to buy a case of rum for a squirrel that may or may not need to go to the hospital later. Sayonara.
(My niece, Chloe, actually did swallow a quarter -- two weeks ago. It seems to be stuck. So she's going to the hospital this morning to have it removed. Don't worry, she's fine -- she thinks it's hilarious, in fact -- but I couldn't help but put a shout-out in here.)