Fandom Radio, Sunday Morning

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

Jono: … And while everybody else is sleeping off the post-graduation hangovers, I'm in the radio station, diligently... scraping paint. There is no way that this was all from us.

Deadpool: I might have gotten bored yesterday and shot at it some more. My bad.

Jono: … Fair enough. Though it leaves me disappointed that I didn't come in here with a litre of paint to throw about.

Deadpool: What's a litre? Speak english!

Jono: I speak better English than you. I refuse to speak American. … And aren't you Canadian, mate?

Deadpool: I am? Curse these Canadian roots! Urge to apologize... rising...

Jono: I rest my case. In any case, we've got notes?

Deadpool: Notes it is!

Jono: Excellent. Today we'll begin with what went on in the Dorms, then, and leave the graduation ceremonies for last, since there are so many bloody notes about them. Caroline and Jake celebrated graduation with pizza and action movies. Ben, meanwhile, took his father into his room to talk about his plans to go with Ender rather than going home. Luke was disappointed, but the notes here say that he handled it well in the end, thank goodness. And Elphaba was in her room writing a letter to her sister when Hanna came by to check up on her. Up on the fifth floor, there was more pizza, as Bruce threw a post-graduation celebration. And yes, that is a mouthful.

Deadpool: Maybe if there was more alliteration in it...

Jono: There are only so many other 'ation' words that I can work into that sentence, and most of them aren't suitable for radio, mate.

Deadpool: You're sassy today.

Jono: I have been scraping paint for a week. I've earned this sass. Bruce got compliments from Petra for the skillful way he took out those bears, and he pointed out that he had known something was going to happen at the ceremony. Britta, meanwhile, needed Bruce to clarify that the bears and dolls hadn't been a hallucination, and Annie stopped by to squeal at Bruce because she was so very excited to be... all graduated, and such. They then discussed summer plans. This summer, I plan on being utterly insufferable. I'm certain you're all surprised.

Deadpool: I am just glad I was sitting down for the news.

Jono: The shock to your system might've been the end of you.

Deadpool: I'm having a heart attack! Wait... wait... no, just heartburn.

Jono: Right, then. Carrying on in Town. Guy and Sarah were on the Causeway today, returning from a date on the mainland that left them a bit rumpled, but looking satisfied all the same. Samus was doing damage control at the Turtle & Canary when Valentine Wiggin stopped in to see if they carried duct tape. Hank also stopped by to be horrifed at the Squishy flavours of the day, which included 'magna cum laude.' Oh, Hank.

Deadpool: Clearly he doesn't watch enough Cinemax after dark.

Jono: Ender and Val went to JGoB for coffee, and snarked about obligations like teaching and colonies, and then Petra and Suriyawong stopped by to give Ender a difficult time about his not visiting. At the Boards, I was scraping paint. Story of my life. Dean McCoppin purchased the junk yard in town, though he doesn't seem entirely certain as to what to do about the fact that it seems to be doubling as a parking lot for spaceships these days. Ben and Jaina went out for ice cream, and talk about how the Chilly Boulder should name something after him. A table, or an ice cream flavour. I'm with the squirrel on this one, though. I don't know that I'd trust eating a Skywalker ice cream. And at the Sushi Station, Warren, Karla, and some of their friends from Kaeleer celebrated Warren and Karla's shared birthday with what appears to be an awkward sushi dinner.

Deadpool: Oh, and Raven was busy with some chick who looked like Karla but wasn't and then ran into some guys. And shit got real.

Jono: I am going to assume that you are speaking in Deadpoolese again. And then I am going to shake down these squirrels for their rum.

Deadpool: I am as transperant as glass! So, over at the school, you crazy kids were busy with your graduation. With mingling and talking to people. I don't trust it, though. And oh god, how many people talked? Why did you all talk? STOP TALKING.

Jono: I'd campaign to cut out all their tongues, but I think they might get upset about that.

Deadpool: I second the motion!

Jono: Well, then get on that.

Deadpool: There was some other Peter--hey, remember when we had a million Peters on island? Good times, good times--anyway, Kenzi randomly blew bubbles at him. I'm almost sure that's not a euphamism. Topher attempted to latch onto Peter as well, asking him questions for five whole minutes. Karla checked in with Petra--okay, seriously? Peter and Petra? That's terrible. I'm putting my foot down here, Orson Scott Card. Give Stark all the inoperable brain tumors you want, but this crosses the line of believability.

Jono: … Sometimes you make me worry that I'm really missing out on something here.

Deadpool: The best things, it's true.

Jono: So I should attempt to be a little more Deadpool-like in my day-to-day?

Deadpool: Start with a stabbing! Valentine had to tell Topher which sibling she was there for and how she ditched Peter for space. Well, it's space. Space is awesome. She also met Stark where there was discussion about how he used to employ her brother. No, that was Robert Downey Jr, kids. Topher had a jealousy fit when he learned that Peter told Natalie stuff as well. Because that's a normal reaction. Natalie attempted to say hi to Peter and was almost stopped by bodyguards had it not been for Petra. STOP IT, OSC.

Jono: … What he said? I think?

Deadpool: Damn right! Leto and his kid say hi to Kate who informs him about her future plans with Bod. And that's a soap opera in the making there. Richard and Kahlan decided that this thing won't be violent enough for Cara. I'm inclined to agree with that one. Jeremy and Juliet talked about how they're seniors now and should go to college together. Hopefully they're not written by Orson Scott Card. Who is my joke of the day. Aren't you all glad? Karla was surprised Worthington's dad showed up and then there was talk of dinner later. Meanwhile, Kenzi and Momoko were busy blowing bubbles. What's with the bubbles? I don't get it.

Jono: Easier to clean than confetti, I assume.

Deadpool: But what about bird seed? I'm sure birds like that.

Jono: I'd be worried about the sort of birds that they might attract around here.

Deadpool: ...point. Zayne and Jaina caught up and there was something called a holocron mentioned. I bet it's dirty. Starsmore here got frowny--different from usual? I think not--with Karla about folks graduating. Because we want folks to stay forever. Waaaaait a minute. No we don't! Stark told Scotty all about a penguin sanctuary he bought with Drake--seriously? And Ryan and Hanna were all surprised by the number of people here.

Jono: … Really? This is a small graduating class compared to most schools.

Deadpool: Shhh. Maybe they're from small towns. Kate and Toby discussed how they need a popcorn cart next year. Oh, it will be done, kids. It will be done. Both Stark and Topher meet Ben's Luke. As opposed to all the other Lukes out there. And some chick named Vestara was mean to Topher. Look, it's in the notes! Aaaand Kenzi tossed popcorn at him. Where did she get popcorn? Francine was there and promptly attacked by Kate Gregson, Karla, Momoko, and Dinah. Dinah also said hey to Sam Winchester to talk about college and being old. Ooooold. Leto and Alice decided that the graduation should be nice and exciting for the baby. Well, if she's anything like Jan... Karla asked to hold the kid, while Dinah did that weird chick cooing thing, and Ghanima said that Leto was no better than the kid about putting things in his mouth. Well, duh. Kids do that. Jan once tried to teethe on the TV remote.

Jono: Dora forever?

Deadpool: Worse. Fox News.

Jono: Dear God.

Deadpool: Rube and his horrible name told Mason to stop twitching. Because they were in public or something. Momoko invited Karla off to Baltimore and then they discussed birthdays. As you do. Momoko also caught Kit-Kat Bar trying to get into trouble. I may have read that wrong, but I stand by it. Oh, and Hoshi caught up with Kennedy.

Deadpool: Laguna Loire and General Caraway--okay, am I being punked? Am I?--they talked about looking more excited about something. Stark and Stephanie also decided on popcorn and how it was amazing he remembered to show up. Oh, too soon for alcoholism jokes. Dinah said hi to Khary and Aaron and mentioned how Karla and Warren share a birthday. Well... that's weird. Dinah also told Lucivar that he should enjoy the ceremony. Or something like that. Holy crap, how many more notes are there? Tahiri warned Anakin 2.0 what to expect here, and then caught up with Jaina.

Jono: Graduates got to march to their seats in pairs in the procession, demonstrating just how much esteem we all hold in little square hats. Cara was none too thrilled about her gown, but Bruce distraced her from that concern by promising that something would attack. Alice Cullen shared with Ender just how surreal this graduation thing felt. Tara asked Sam LaCriox if tripping and falling on her face would cost her the status of valedictorian, but I think we can all agree that she did an excellent job yesterday, if I might say so myself. Bod and Quinn congratulated one another for making it this far, and then they talked about where they're going from here. Warren and Wesley, meanwhile, figure that moving to Africa is a viable post-graduation option. Interesting. Rinoa and Raven talked about dancing down the aisle, which would have made for an intersting procession, and Ben told Annie that she ought to get behind him if anything attacked. Bobby didn't seem terribly thrilled that Blind Seer walked the procession with Blysse, but good luck telling a wolf not to walk with a member of his pack, mate. K-Mart teased Claudia about how excited she was, and Gabrielle and George talked about how strange it was to be finished high school.

Deadpool: And then onto more school. You never really escape.

Jono: I … I can't even say that I escaped. Even if they won't take me back at Empire State.

Deadpool: And then... gainful employment.

Jono: Poor bastards. There were speeches. So, so many speeches, including one from Zoe, a particularly... unique one by Deadpool, one by Anakin that more or less amounted to 'don't die like idiots,' and rather more inspiring ones by Tara, Quinn and Annie before the graduates all stepped up to get their diplomas.

Deadpool: Do we have to clap again?

Jono: I hope not. My hands are raw after yesterday.

Deadpool: Thank god.

Jono: And then came the part of the ceremony that all Fandom alumni look forward to with bated breath. The inevitable moment where it all goes to hell. In this case, Ingvar Islet decided to help our ceremony along by vomiting creepy children's playthings and drop bears down on our graduates, to the dismay of the people in the crowd. Such as Kenzi, who needed my casual reassurances that the graduates would be fine. Which, I think after so many years on this island, really is a given, innit? Bo and Zoe did a bit of drinking, noting that at least it wasn't like that time that the school blew up.

...

This place really is more like Xavier's than I thought.

Deadpool: Hey now! We're not run by a small, hairy man!

Jono: Not at the moment.

Deadpool: I'm telling Winchester you said that about her.

Jono: And I'm certain that she'll hold that against me. Warren's father was breathing down Bo's throat about putting this to an end, and Rinoa's father was having a bit of a fit before Laguna and I attempted to calm him down. Aaron, meanwhile, was more concerned about protecting Cassidy while Khardeen attempted the same for Karla, and I pity the both of them. Karla did, at least, manage to explain to Warren's father that the graduates were going to be fine. Because, really, with this lot, there shouldn't be any doubt. They fought, some hid, and then Fandom herself gave Ingvar a smack on the behind and sent him soundly to bed. Or... something like that. They're islands, I might be personifying them a little too much.

Deadpool: Or not enough.

Jono: After all the excitement, K-Mart assured Miley that the madness had passed, while Ender informed Ben that, while that chaos was predictable, Ben had certainly earned his diploma. Claudia and Jacob, meanwhile, took the opportunity to do some catching up. Lucivar and Momoko both had congratulations and gifts for Warren, while his father only had some freaking out to do, to Warren's chagrin. And Alfred brought Bruce some post-calamity lemonade. As is tradition for those rich types, I suppose.

Deadpool: I want a butler. Think I could kidnap Jarvis for it?

Jono: I would pay money to see you try.

Deadpool: You're on!

Jono: This ought to be interesting. Ben's father met Ender's brother, not to be confused with the Luke and Peter who went to school here, as well as Petra, and they spoke about typical Fandom graduations and travel times. Luke caught Valentine attempting to listen in and they spoke about Ben and Ender. Valentine then made certain if Ben was okay before they spoke about Shakespeare, which I am assuming is not the dead man who wrote plays. Jeremy gave George roses, which is adorable, and Rube told her how proud of her she is. As am I, George. As am I. Alice and Esme hugged, as did Dinah and Raven, and Karla and Raven pondered whether or not that demonstration meant that Lucivar would ease off on his insisting that Raven learn to fight. Hoshi and Raven spoke about what it was like being a graduate, and Tahiri informed Ben that he had too much fun before consecrating his newfound adulthood with ticking. Naturally.

Deadpool: Well, that sounds legit.

Jono: I'm thankful nobody gave Jubilee that idea when I graduated. It could've been disastrous.

Deadpool: Razzle dazzle?

Jono: And fire. Lots of fire.

Deadpool: That's all, folks!