fandom_radio | Fandom Radio, Sunday Morning

Jono: Dear lord. It looks like a normal Sunday. You know you live on Fandom Island when this sort of thing is the odd happenstance.

Deadpool: Aaaaand you’ved doomed us all. Thanks.

Jono: Oh, come on. It isn't as though the odds aren't already stacked against us.

Deadpool: Yeah, but you can’t just say it. That’s tempting fate.

Jono: And what if you don't particularly believe in fate, exactly?

Deadpool: Then you’ve still damned us. At the school, Cassidy was being stalked by books in the library. Which shouldn't be hard, since it's a library and all. Ender showed up to chat about his wild adventures in Rio. Possibly involving feathers.

Jono: Rub in Rio a little more, people of the island. I'm finally getting over my bitterness.

Deadpool: I ate sooooo much meat.

Jono: I had to do radio with a judgey bloke and his horrible moustache.

Deadpool: You did radio with Burt Reynolds?!

Jono: … I'm pretty certain it was a Stark, but I'm going to tell people that, now. And here you missed out by being in Brazil.

Deadpool: In the dorms, Peter 'UST Free' Wiggin was reading his email when Ben stopped by. And they made out. Look, you don't tell me what happened, I make crap up. Jacob and Caroline discussed talking to her mom while eating pizza. Mmmm. Pizza. Raven and Cassidy ended up drinking some boozey tea and going to Caritas for jello shots. As one does when drunk. The goddamn Bruce Wayne was busy in the gym, beating a punching bag like it owed him money when Kate showed up to extol the virtues of hitting things. I like this kid!

Jono: And really, around here? Knowing how to hit things cannot possibly go amiss.

Deadpool: Especially when it comes to the faculty!

Jono: Though, really, we here at the radio do not necessarily condone hitting the faculty. Probably. In town, I was working in the office at the Boards when Cable stopped by to visit. We spoke about plans for the theatre over coffee. I don't suppose there's any interest out there for a weekly jam session at the Boards? Saturday evenings, perhaps?

Deadpool: Oh god, he’s turned his weird hippie powers on you, hasn’t he?

Jono: … No, I was always a musician. Though the optimism is new, I'll grant.

Deadpool: Just run before he asks you to meditate or talk about your feelings.

Jono: I'm afraid I'm already doomed, then. At Stark Industries, Topher was hard at work as usual, watching movie trailers with the sound cranked up loudly enough to probably cause permanent hearing damage. Seifer was doing paperwork at the Groovy Tunes, and at Cafe Luke's, Zinzi was content to let the kitchen staff argue amongst themselves. Moving on to the Devil's Nest, Bo was bartending in the dark. The power troubles didn't seem to stop the place from being especially busy, however, as several people stopped in, including Raven and Cassidy, who mistook it for Caritas at first, but didn't have any luck getting served. Toby stopped in and spoke with Bo about Kenzi, and Guy was a bit on the glowy-and-floaty side when Bo explained that the power outage was a result of gremlins. Jake Doyle stopped in as well, and had his Canadian dialect ruthlessly mocked by Bo. As is only right.

Deadpool: Go on by!

Jono: … Is that the one that builds the boat?

Deadpool: Maybe. My Newfie is rusty.

Jono: And mine is nonexistent. Which I'll take as a blessing. Bruce Banner asked about the lighting trouble over an order of Guarana, and got himself an explanation of Fandom strangeness from Bo, before Deadpool here mistook him for Professor Durden and they had a chat about common acquaintances and how exactly a mercenary gets hired on as vice-principal, anyhow. You know, I always wondered that, myself.

Deadpool: Because I was amazing. And haven’t left yet. So...

Jono: And there you have it, folks. The key to a good position on the island is to just insinuate yourself here and refuse to go anywhere. Ever again.

Deadpool: How else to people get hired?

Jono: I'd say something about a resume and good references, but neither of those really holds true around here in the first place, I've found. Deadpool then spoke to Bo about, and I quote, "how he's a hotass." And how he's a... a DILF?

Deadpool: Yup.

Jono: And does that mean what I'm afraid it means?

Deadpool: I’d say it, but those squirrels look bleep happy over there.

Jono: Furry little *BLEEP*s. And in the VIP area, Eric found himself accosted by two drunken teenaged girls, has Raven introduce him to Cassidy, and then... I think they call him nice repeatedly and then say something about how he has lovely teeth. Er. I have some family history with Dracula that demands I state otherwise.

Deadpool: And he doesn’t sparkle, girls. So his borderline emotional abuse isn’t cool.

Jono: Raven and Cassidy moved along to Caritas with their drunken antics, where Kitty was doing paperwork and leaving Tino to deal with the madness. Wise move, Kitty. Though it does mean you missed the rainbow of jellow shots. And the karaoke. And all the drunk-dialling they did. By the way, that charming rendition of Benny and the Jets was my fault. You're welcome.

Deadpool: You have cruel things deep down in your heart. I like it.

Jono: I'm a truly corrupt soul, it's true.

Deadpool: Awww, you have a chance of making it in this cruel, cruel world.

Jono: So people keep telling me. I suppose I'll believe it when it happens.

Deadpool: It could be worse. You could be a teacher.

Jono: I've done enough TA work here and for the X-Men that I'm fairly certain I'm doing everyone a favour by not being one, now.

Deadpool: Exactly. Have a good day, Fandom!