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fandom_radio2007-01-22 08:24 pm
socksofcool.livejournal.com) wrote in fandom_radio2007-01-22 08:24 pm
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Fandom Radio, Sunday, January 21
Nadia: Hello Fandom! This is Nadia Santos, once again on Pirate Radio, and joined by a bit of a strange crew to bring you the news this evening.
Brian: Greetings Fandom! This is Brian Slade and I've been kidnapped by a crazed fan. (Help!)
Nadia: *smacking sound* You have not. And you didn't seem to be complaining last night.
Brian: Ow! I said I'm not like that!
Liam: Get off me you little demon rats! *sounds of chittering* Demon squirrels then!
Wilson: I was enjoying a walk in the park you little fur brained rodents! *sound of chittering* No my Hippocratic Oath does not cover emergency broadcasting for the ... oh forget it, where's the rum?
Salem: Rum? This job comes with rum, let's me see what everyone is doing, and make of fun of them for it?
Nadia: It's the best job ever. And I'm guessing you're not Faithful, since he's done it before. We're sharing that rum, right?
Salem: Faithful? What kind of a pathetic name is that? I'm Salem Saberhagen.
Liam: The cat is talking! I'm surrounded by demon beasts.
Brian: The cat is talking? Did you put something in my drink, Nadia?
Wilson: Try teaching classes here, Irish.
Salem: Of course the cat talks. Mortals. Oooh, tuna.
Nadia: Give me that bottle. Are we going to talk about the news, or are we going to sit here and double-u tee eff about the talking cat all night?
Liam: A talking demon cat is news, lass!
Brian: Unless it's just a bit of pharmacology, and then it's old hat. Fun. But old hat.
Nadia: The cat talks, it's not a demon, it's not that weird for Fandom, and I don't think I want to share my rum with you two any more. Dr. Wilson, would it be unethical to drug them all and just do this radio broadcast by ourselves?
Wilson: Probably and besides, this is Fandom, we don't need recreational pharmacology, we generate our own quite nicely. Are these the notes for tonight? *Sound of rustling paper* And these....and these...and...oh dear Lord.
Salem: Unethical? Nah. But then there'd be a lot less emberrassment tomorrow morning. Let's get to it!
Nadia: Right-o, then. *sound of rustling paper* This morning in the third floor common room there was death. Wait, now, that's not right. This morning in the third floor common room, Dawn made oatmeal and did research. Cally tells Dawn about her broken jaw, Mac makes evil oatmeal smoothies (maybe that's where the death comes in?), Annette promises to help and talks about lions, which is totally helpful, I'm sure, and Dawn threatens to beat Captain Crichton with a stick. Fun times.
Liam: Sounds like a feisty lass. After the threatening, Zero would be interveiwing Commander Crichton, who's not pleased at the spirit the girl shows. Dean updates Dawn on Tom's condition, which they be debating, then he questions Cally about her attack. Sadly, the girl don't be remembering much. Nefertiti...*manly giggling*...Nefertiti admires Dean's shirtless state and Annette waves to him.
Brian: Waldo has oatmeal. Why do we care? Honestly. They don't even report when I have oatmeal and I'm a household name. Mr. Demon Sunshine Pants? Oh, Belthazor - he kisses well - offers Dean a hug. He does that. Then tells Dean that vampires aren't evil, but Phoebe is. Is she? Then Bel tells Dawn about his mission to bring joy and love to the masses. He should have shown you Dawn. Don't just take my word for it. Ah, and offers to demonstrate for Lana, but she... turns him down. I'm going to think better of her for her offer to get naked dancing boys for Nefertiti. I'd like an invitation to that party, Lana.
Nadia: I will put a leash on you, Brian, I swear I will.
Brian: If you do, you're going to have to do that one thing you did last night. You know the one I'm talking about. And I want photos. My wife will love them.
Nadia: That can be arranged.
Wilson: And now to help scrub that bit of TMI from your innocent brains... it doesn't sound as if Bel needs a leash for Alec any longer as Bel seems quite pleased with the progress that Alec has shown in changing his ways. If Alec is a typical teenage male I hope he changes his underwear just as often.
Moving on... I think the squirrel's paws must have been cramping, this note says Annette hid behind her hand on the way to get coffee. I'm just going to hope this doesn't mean she was locked naked out of her room and hand to hide behind her hands on her way to get coffee. Elsewhere, it says that Zero interviewed Bel who spread light and love that not only made Zero's day but also helped out her documentary. I'm not sure how those two go together, honestly I'm still stuck back on Bel spreading light and love. Then Tori and Dawn were seen talking about taking up a collection so that they could post Bridge's bail.
Wait, post his bail, does it say what he's in jail for? *Sound of paper rustling...rustle rustle* Oh.. OH...ah right...that's very kind of you girls, I'm sure he'll appreciate it...along with a ticket to another planet. It appears that Tori was quite the social butterfly this morning as she also talked with Dean about the Whiskey Tango Foxtrot nature of Fandom. Let me reassure you Tori...it's fairly damn high and no, you never get entirely immune to it.
Salem: I would like to start off by saying that everyone here has weird names. Katara and Tori worry over Zuko. Tori and Anette compare stories about the Boy Wonder. Dean meets a walking pig. There was a walking pig? Yum. Dawn tells the talking pig about the crazy lions. And of course, someone thinks she's insane. Which she probably is.
Wilson: Because demons are all about the playing fair, Nadia.
Brian: Can you point this Alec out to me, Nadia?
More not-about-me not-news saying that Tori frowned at Alec. So? Alec and vamp Lana go off to do things the squirrels didn't want to write about.
Squirrels...
Definitely drugs. Dawn finds out that Alec is a seed-sowing gardener.... and Alec is picky and decides Cally won't do for him. And Billy double takes at Lana. You've never seen a girl before, Billy? How about a boy? Tell me you've seen one or the other. Such straight kids we have here.
Liam: A crazy drooling Jamie is dragged off by guys in robes, I wonder if they're wanting to be having the mansex with him, Dean objects to this, as does Jamie, who flees and leads his amorous friends on a merry chase. Neil tells Tori he's still himself. He then finds out about Sam's cookies, which believe me are the finest thing about a woman, and turns down Lana. Are you insane, Neil, my lad? You never turn down a willing lass.
Wilson: Dean Winchester did a good deed and he fed Justin but then he broke Justin's brain by explaining that he'd replaced Ted. Were there at least pancakes involved? And the Justin brain break continues when he talks to Cally and each mistake the other for being who they are but aren't. Though Cally still is so she's not mistaken only Justin. Confused yet? My work here is done. But wait! There's more when Mac tells Justin he missed the arm eating... Did I just read that right? Arm eating? Uh, anyway, then she finds out that Justin isn't who she thought he was and she'd just discussed arm eating with a complete stranger. Talk about the awk-ward. The Awk-ward which only continued when Chad and Justin ran in to each other. Really, I don't think I need to add anything here now do I? And I just keep getting the doozies here. Someone named Lonnie put the moves on Free Light and Loving Bel but before anything happened, Dawn smacked em both with a heavy book. Was it a romance novel? Cause, you know that would have just been irony for you.
Salem: Lonnie and Alec make plans for later tonight. Just make sure there won't be any need for plans nine months from now. John Connor stops in and picks up his award for most boring evening ever. In order to prove that they're both sad, sad human beings, Cally and Chad do a personality check. Mac joins the land of the weird when she asks Chad not to kiss her. Zero is smart and points out the amusement factor of this weekend to Chad
Nadia: Katara let's Chad know that she and Zuko are going to fix things. Waste of time. It'll all be over by Monday. It always was before.
And if it isn't, there will be hell to pay.
Billy and Katara are both in the common room, which I think we've already established. Her--Hermin--Her-my-ninny turns Crichton into a kiwi fruit. Wait, bird. Kiwi bird. The other would be funnier, since odds are good Professor Rita turned him into any number of birds last year. Though a kiwi is definitely much cuter than the Most Horrifying Creature That Ever Lived. Then She-is-my-ninny tells Dawn that books are bad. Only in the special collections.
Brian: Zero interviews No-Name Girl but can't understand what she's saying any more than I can pronounce her name. Dean double-you tee effs at No-Name Girl.
Dean and Annette are happy they're still them, which shows a definite lack of vision. And Dawn makes sure Alec is still Alec... why? Because of all the snogging Alec seems to be doing? And she checks on Buffy.
Liam: Dean and Alec be talking about tying up Sam, kinky, Alec meets Alec, before one of them checks up on Cally, who then tells Neferboobythere be no naked serving boys. Neferbosom, lass, I'll be willing to serve you nakedly, if you'll just say the word. Neferbust tries to get Dean naked, gotta love a lass with initiative, then gets hit on by Alec. Whichever Alec that was, you don't go hitting a lady.
Nadia: If you say "boobs" or any variation of that one more time, I swear I'm going to beat you with this microphone.
Liam: Aww, lass, it's no reflection on your glorious pair, if that's what you're thinking.
Nadia: *smacking noise*
Liam: Feisty.
Nadia: I seriously hope that Willow was right about every single detention this semester.
Wilson: Flirt later children
Wilson: Nefertiri -cause there is no way in HELL I'm getting in the middle of this- Nefertiri confides in Dawn that she was not pleased with Conner's muffins. *Chitter chitter!!* What? Oh! Sorry. She was not pleased with Conner leaving the middle of a sparing match to get muffins...which...nope doesn't make much more sense than what I originally said. Hopefully Nefertiri's interview with Zero made more sense. And moving down to the Second Floor Common room, where people were not quite so OMG chatty! Cassie sat and worried about the 3rd floor caving in on her, not an entirely unreasonable concern today. Balithier joined Cassie in her concern, which is probably why he didn't notice his keys being pilfered. And Waldo watered a plant. Wait...the plant didn't
Wilson: try to eat him or proposition him? That's just...downright anticlimatic.
Salem: In a climatic move, Zero has a camera. Lonnie complains about the lack of sex on the island. She's in the wrong places then. Rita talks about rubber nipples. Mufassa has been watching too much television and goes off on a gremlin hunt. And then he gets bitten by one
Nadia: James Earl Jones, who is apparently a lion, and wouldn't Hollywood love to hear about that one, had a chat with Salem, and ignored an interview with Zero. Good to know his star ego is well and truly in place. Weiss stopped to have a chat with our new resident actor/lion, then ran away, and Waldo climbed a tree. And in further animal news, a turtle was in the hallway.
Brian: Zero films a turtle. Cam talks to the turtle. People are starved for art, since Jaye also takes a picture of the turtle. In case it's Crichton?
In the fifth floor common room Polexia is watching music videos and snacking. Cameron greets Marie and tells her about the live music scene, which has definitely improved since my arrival. Polexia isn't impressed, which proves she hasn't much taste in music.
Wilson: Elsewhere Peter and Street express dismay at the lack of business. Given what I read in the notes earlier about why Bridge needed bail, I think that when all is said and done someone(s) are going to be quite happy of this fact. And the conversation between Peter and Bel just defies all common logic and I'm just not going any further than that because at least one of these gentlemen is my student. Weiss probably does the smart thing in all of this and expresses proper dismay at Bel's peddling of free love. This earns him a hug...but buck up Weiss, at least it was free? Bel then continues to spread the love and offers to make Alec day better. I'll leave it to your own fertile little imaginations as to just how that works out.
Salem: The unfortunately named Street and Polexia ponder how to make Fandom better. Easy. Make me dictator. Street thinks uniforms should cost extra. And along those lines, Bel offers to make Street's night better. Polexia offers to help Conner with lack of a meteor. Can she get me a country to rule over as well? Conner also turns Street down for more personal services.
Brian: Waldo makes popcorn, and you'd think that the popping would help Conner find him, but no. Simba-
*sound of angry chittering, some cursing in Spanish, and a loud BONK*
Brian: This just in, a squirrel has knocked Nadia out with a very large acorn. Is she alright down there? I was just starting to like her.
Right. Simba scampers around the grounds. Frederic and Kowalski and others sing. Waldo, Zero, and Darth Mufasa Earl Jones watch the singing.
And down in the gym, Edward Hyde destroys a punching bag. Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent, Edward.
Liam: Cassie, understandably, finds this quite uncanny, Edward proves he is no gentleman by insulting the lass, and they fight, later being joined by Tyler who feels the need to protect Cassie's honour. Annette spies on them, shocking Billy.
Liam: In other news, there be a great beastie singing and brooding on the roof.
Wilson: I'm up? Ah, let me take a look here. Okay the notes say that Simba stalks the Beast and as I take a moment to make sure I read that right, there is an extra note here that claims this was the CUTEST THING EVER and given what just happened to Nadia, I'll take the squirrels' word for that. Obvious it was cute enough for Jaye to take pictures of Simba. Nefertiri is fascinated by the Beast and while this is prime material for beastiality jokes I'll refrain due to FCC regulations. But it must be said that this Beast is getting around as it seems he and Lonnie got catty at each other which seems strange since I would have thought they would have been after completely different prey. And the last note on this page says that the Beast was stalking Irulan's hat. See, totally different prey.
Brian: Jaye is quite the shutterbug, and Waldo (again) is climbing a building. Setsuna takes Josh on a shirtless and leashed - what is it with the girls around here and leashes? - walk around the dorms. Lucky boy. But it makes Ranma... angry and screamy.
D is sneaky, another shutterbug, setting a trap for wild game - or students. By turning off the lights and making coffee? Oooh, fun pictures. And Jason enters and gets his hand stuck in....
*helpless laughter*
...stuck in pie.
Liam: What's wrong with pie? Setsuna and the leashed Josh stop in. Bathlier joins Jason in the pie, that Waldo fellow comes by for coffee, and Tannim tries to set fire to the room before giving up and watching something called a movie.
Cally be wearing a sailor girl outfit, making smoothies, and dancing in the Fourth Floor Common Room, I don't know what a smoothie is, but I think I'm wanting one.
Wilson: Cally also finds it necessary to announce to CJ that she's Veronica Halliwell and that she wrestled an alligator. Another Halliwell? We're going to have a family reunion soon. Then we have CJ going and blowing her whistle (not!Dirty) at Mac and grilling her about wearing sunscreen. No honestly, I couldn't resist...stop looking at me like that, I couldn't! And that leads to Cally and Mac sharing a milkshake which is as it should be in it's cuteness. My next note just says that Waldo comes in. That's it? Really? Well, I guess given his last apperance in my notes, that might be high excitement for Waldo. Cally is a dear and gives Kabuto a smoothie while he's busy taking notes, which is nice of her. Unless it was an algae smoothie with kelp...in which case, not so nice. But maybe it had anchovies in it because the smoothie sharing caused Salem to stop and oogle at Cally.
Brian: Lonnie is pissed (these squirrels have some mouths) to wake up to find a Beast on her floor. Phoebe goes out to have some fun. Good thinking, Phoebe. See, she's not evil after all. Sam tends to the Beast's wound? Lonnie must have been very pissed. While Waldo inspects her lock, which sounds like it could be quite an interesting thing to do, depending upon the lock.
Setsuna and Josh make out. Before or after the leash, Josh? And Cedric Diggory starts his day in a sea of rainbows and puffy clouds. Not really.
Liam: Eric and Rita wake up together, Eric you lucky dog, you. Molly be reading comics in her room, like any well bred lass would, when Katara comes in to share news about a fine lad named Zuko, Dawn be bringing Molly food and talk of weirdness in the town, and Hermione be asking her to go shopping.
Wilson: Moving on from Molly's room the next note...oh my...the next note says that Jason and Shinn wake up together. I hope that is as it's supposed to be or some more with the awk-ward. Zero sent an e-mail. In between the interviews and the picture taking I've got to be impressed with her multi-tasking skills. And lastly it says here that Dean has Tom tied up and brings him food and questions him. Somehow I think we could have stopped at tied up and guessed that the next family meeting is going to be a tad strained. Tyler brings Nefertiti hot chocolate. now that's a way to make a new friend and lastly Alec and Lana get interrupted by Josiah which I'm guessing might not be a good way to make a new friend.
Brian: Leoben is in his room. The Girl-Whose-Name-I'm-Not-Bothering-With tells Leoben that he loves her. Run Leoben. Run. Six talks about their plans. Whose plans, I cannot say, the squirrels, which are glaring at me, didn't write that down. Molly goes to look for Ray and finds out that Leoben, and most of the island, have been spreading God's love all weekend.
And Zuko and Katara are... schmoopy? You might want to shower after that.
Liam: Sokka seems to be of the same opinion, as he interupted them. Unless he be wanting Katara for himself, maybe? Hermione gets a phone call, what's that? Phoebe and Lana be making out, I'd be liking to know if I can watch, and the Beast be wanting Sam Carter's fine, fine cookies.
Tori and Conner, fine name that, even if it is misspelt, be exploring the town and looking for a meteor, and Waldo be joining them in the sewers.
Wilson: *Sound of notes rustling* Uh, no.. I am not reporting that...it's not pertinant to anyone but myself. *More rustling* Okay, moving right along, JJ got lucky with Six. Can I just take a moment to reflect on the level of flailing that will ensue in the aftermath of this?
*.......*
*Sound of a nut bonking off a skull*
Wilson: Ow! All right, all right you little slave drivers. Clark showers and Rose comes over. Really, that's all I've got about that. The next item up is Xander breaking into an apartment early this morning. Really I do hope it turned out to be his own because if I have to label one more thing 'awk-ward' the karma is going to be out to get me. Which I think it already is as I am being forced at nut point to report that Katara skipped through the park. And then tried to sled on Kowalski the penguin and finally Tess draws in the junkyard and Waldo is there...Oh dear God...okay, now that Nadia is unconscious can we get back into the rum?
Brian: Jo listens to the radio podcast at the Perk. Is this in English? I don't think so, since the next item is that Chris and Wyatt are "skeevy" at Jo. Then Jo is preached at by Leoben, and I'm a little surprised to see that the squirrels are sympathetic. Bond quizzes Nadia (that's where she got to) about the letter M. It starts words like "mallet," Mr. Bond. Lana goes man-hunting. I wish you bon appetit, Lana.
Liam: Tannim gets coffee and that Waldo fellow inspects the ceiling tiles, is it just me or is he everywhere today?
Over in the Park, Pheobe be camping out, Lana be discussing her sexual frustration with Pheobe, which I happen to be knowing the perfect cure for, and JJ, well, he be giving his card to the lovely ladies.
Wilson: Next to report from the Park is....uh huh...well it seems that the doppleganger of my other half is wasting no time in being utterly innapropriate as Phoebe and Bond flirt and make a date and that is wrong on so many levels I can't even begin to describe it.
Also to report Waldo hugged a tree which ... continues the disturbing trend of Waldo sightings.
[19:14] Wilson: Phoebe and Casanova flirt and kiss in the park. Shuichi sobs at Phoebe about not being able to speak English at work and Casanova tells Shuici to remember their kiss, which is apparently a bad thing to ask.
Honestly, with the way this weekend has been going, it's amazing the entire island didn't turn into one giant orgy.
Brian: Yuuki is not sympathetic with Shoochi about speaking English at work. Josh and Phoebe make out in the park, which might explain what I was reading about the leash earlier.
Wonka's hosted brunch, where Luna has a problem with Bluntman or Chronic's language. I have no idea what that means.
And Waldo has chocolate milk. If anyone is fool enough to ask "Where's Waldo?" the answer is bloody everywhere.
Liam: Luna meets Aiden, who then speaks to Tommy about whether this place is always weird. I'm thinking yes. Mary tells Luna about her travels, then hopes that John Connor's day is better, Luna tries to help by showing him a candy rodeo.
I have no idea what that is.
Wilson: Bluntman and Chronic see Mufasa and wonder how high they are. Can I answer that one? Please? No...damn, pass the rum. Luna totally serves Mufasa and I'm not going any further with that one. On the flip side of keeping the lion happy, Tommy wants to know if Mufasa speaks Spanish too. Gonna go out on a limb here and guess...no.Jaye goes looking for pixie stix, and picture-taking opportunities, though hopefully not at the same time, because how would you get the camera past the pixie stix?
And the twins open Sparky Repairs.
Brian: Josiah holds his own service at church. Why not? Let each man act on his own conscience. Someone named Deadpool went looking for Rosette and ended up playing with Josiah instead.
I like this place more and more.
Juliet, who is a charming young woman (call me,) is at the church looking for a priest. Tess is in the junkyard and Bond goes to the pool.
This town talks about the inane and sex. It's an interesting mix.
Liam: Annette seems to be quite pleased by Bond's attentions, the English cad procedes to flirt shamelessly with Aly, Mistress Frizzle is confused, and after dealing with the English I can't blame her. Waldo, in a truly shocking turn of events, is there, and does not jump off the diving board, and Rita makes a drink date with Bond. Oh, Rita lass, everyone knows the English can't drink.
Wilson: I was totally at the park loving the snow, however I did not realize that Waldo was checking it out and...wait, just who did John Connor takes a picture of?? Mr. Connor!
Armand walks the streets, but the squirrels want it made clear that he is not hustler looking for a john. Glad we kept that straight...or not straight, however you want to see it. John Connor gets invited into the poker game, As does Sandy, who was lost. How the hell do you get lost on Fandom...it's an island people!
In other news...wait...this is news? Who the heck decides... *sound of a nut hitting a skull* OW! Fine. Naruto wants to know if Armand ate all his Ramen which the squirrels swear is news worthy.
Brian: Tommy meets Armand. Waldo is in the sewer. Of course he is. Rita waits outside the bank and talks to Annette. Waldo... *sighs* Waldo is there using the aye tee em.
Mary is at the Perk and she and Billy say hi to each other. Joy.
Liam: Oh, hey, here's that bloody Waldo again, getting himself addicted to caffiene, while Mary and Cassanova be flirting and dating at the Perk.
Suchi be starting work at the Devil's Nest, which be sounding like a most cheery place for Rita and the English Pigdog to be having their drinks. Yuki and Cassanova be checking in on Suchi.
Brian: Rita tries to rob the bank, and because we're reporting it here, no one will be surprised to hear that she was taken to jail for it. At the jail, Weiss and Zero vist Rita. Which must have been a downer for Weiss because he ends up at Caritas wishing for things to go back to normal. Also at Caritas, George Sr. insults Greg's hair, and if that's the balding man behind the bar, I think he should find a good wig before he starts throwing insults.
Then JJ tells Six about himself and that must have been a real turnon for him/her because they leave together.
Liam: Pheobe and Lana decide to solve their men troubles by kissing. While Josiah watches. You're a lucky man Josiah. Greg be talking with Lonnie, who gets a drink the old fashioned way, by showing people her boobies. Sadly, I wasn't one of them. Winnie who be a prude with no appreciation for art, gets Sasparilla and icecream, Lonnie then chats up Cedric Diggory
Wilson: Cedric must be a popular young man as it is being reported that Tino has a crush on Cedric Diggory. Err...that's sweet...I think...well, at least it might mean free booze right? Caritas is just the place for everyone to bump in to ... every thing. Such as Liam meets Winnie. I'm not sure who Winnie is but I'm sharing a bottle of rum with Liam...Bettina had to bribe George Sr. again and then she met Ares.
And will you look at that... Waldo was in the lounge.
Oh this sort of is right up my ally...at the clinic, Doogie is there for his very first shift. and when I'm more awake I'll probably wonder who the hell is Doogie but for now I'll just note that the shift was quite, as was Stark's evening shift except for....oh dear God... Waldo.
*Sound of drinking...heavy drinking.*
Brian: Good night Fandom. This was Brian Slade gracing your radio waves and I'm going to lock the door now, because I expect Waldo along at any moment.
Liam: Good nig- *chittering* what do you want wee squirrel demons? Oh, another page of notes? All right then, according to this Stephen Colbert be setting something up somewhere called the dangershop, and the office be open. Waldo...was not there?
Right now, you wee demon beasts, is that it?
*more chittering*
Liam: Oh thank the Lord. I could kiss each and every one of you.
*alarmed chittering*
*sound of something heavy hitting a thick Irish skull*
*drunken Irish snores until the radio cuts out*
[I crawl off to die now. Much, much, love to my fellow radioers![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
dr_jwilsonmd, nadiathesaint, threeweapons, and walter_n_wires]
Brian: Greetings Fandom! This is Brian Slade and I've been kidnapped by a crazed fan. (Help!)
Nadia: *smacking sound* You have not. And you didn't seem to be complaining last night.
Brian: Ow! I said I'm not like that!
Liam: Get off me you little demon rats! *sounds of chittering* Demon squirrels then!
Wilson: I was enjoying a walk in the park you little fur brained rodents! *sound of chittering* No my Hippocratic Oath does not cover emergency broadcasting for the ... oh forget it, where's the rum?
Salem: Rum? This job comes with rum, let's me see what everyone is doing, and make of fun of them for it?
Nadia: It's the best job ever. And I'm guessing you're not Faithful, since he's done it before. We're sharing that rum, right?
Salem: Faithful? What kind of a pathetic name is that? I'm Salem Saberhagen.
Liam: The cat is talking! I'm surrounded by demon beasts.
Brian: The cat is talking? Did you put something in my drink, Nadia?
Wilson: Try teaching classes here, Irish.
Salem: Of course the cat talks. Mortals. Oooh, tuna.
Nadia: Give me that bottle. Are we going to talk about the news, or are we going to sit here and double-u tee eff about the talking cat all night?
Liam: A talking demon cat is news, lass!
Brian: Unless it's just a bit of pharmacology, and then it's old hat. Fun. But old hat.
Nadia: The cat talks, it's not a demon, it's not that weird for Fandom, and I don't think I want to share my rum with you two any more. Dr. Wilson, would it be unethical to drug them all and just do this radio broadcast by ourselves?
Wilson: Probably and besides, this is Fandom, we don't need recreational pharmacology, we generate our own quite nicely. Are these the notes for tonight? *Sound of rustling paper* And these....and these...and...oh dear Lord.
Salem: Unethical? Nah. But then there'd be a lot less emberrassment tomorrow morning. Let's get to it!
Nadia: Right-o, then. *sound of rustling paper* This morning in the third floor common room there was death. Wait, now, that's not right. This morning in the third floor common room, Dawn made oatmeal and did research. Cally tells Dawn about her broken jaw, Mac makes evil oatmeal smoothies (maybe that's where the death comes in?), Annette promises to help and talks about lions, which is totally helpful, I'm sure, and Dawn threatens to beat Captain Crichton with a stick. Fun times.
Liam: Sounds like a feisty lass. After the threatening, Zero would be interveiwing Commander Crichton, who's not pleased at the spirit the girl shows. Dean updates Dawn on Tom's condition, which they be debating, then he questions Cally about her attack. Sadly, the girl don't be remembering much. Nefertiti...*manly giggling*...Nefertiti admires Dean's shirtless state and Annette waves to him.
Brian: Waldo has oatmeal. Why do we care? Honestly. They don't even report when I have oatmeal and I'm a household name. Mr. Demon Sunshine Pants? Oh, Belthazor - he kisses well - offers Dean a hug. He does that. Then tells Dean that vampires aren't evil, but Phoebe is. Is she? Then Bel tells Dawn about his mission to bring joy and love to the masses. He should have shown you Dawn. Don't just take my word for it. Ah, and offers to demonstrate for Lana, but she... turns him down. I'm going to think better of her for her offer to get naked dancing boys for Nefertiti. I'd like an invitation to that party, Lana.
Nadia: I will put a leash on you, Brian, I swear I will.
Brian: If you do, you're going to have to do that one thing you did last night. You know the one I'm talking about. And I want photos. My wife will love them.
Nadia: That can be arranged.
Wilson: And now to help scrub that bit of TMI from your innocent brains... it doesn't sound as if Bel needs a leash for Alec any longer as Bel seems quite pleased with the progress that Alec has shown in changing his ways. If Alec is a typical teenage male I hope he changes his underwear just as often.
Moving on... I think the squirrel's paws must have been cramping, this note says Annette hid behind her hand on the way to get coffee. I'm just going to hope this doesn't mean she was locked naked out of her room and hand to hide behind her hands on her way to get coffee. Elsewhere, it says that Zero interviewed Bel who spread light and love that not only made Zero's day but also helped out her documentary. I'm not sure how those two go together, honestly I'm still stuck back on Bel spreading light and love. Then Tori and Dawn were seen talking about taking up a collection so that they could post Bridge's bail.
Wait, post his bail, does it say what he's in jail for? *Sound of paper rustling...rustle rustle* Oh.. OH...ah right...that's very kind of you girls, I'm sure he'll appreciate it...along with a ticket to another planet. It appears that Tori was quite the social butterfly this morning as she also talked with Dean about the Whiskey Tango Foxtrot nature of Fandom. Let me reassure you Tori...it's fairly damn high and no, you never get entirely immune to it.
Salem: I would like to start off by saying that everyone here has weird names. Katara and Tori worry over Zuko. Tori and Anette compare stories about the Boy Wonder. Dean meets a walking pig. There was a walking pig? Yum. Dawn tells the talking pig about the crazy lions. And of course, someone thinks she's insane. Which she probably is.
Wilson: Because demons are all about the playing fair, Nadia.
Brian: Can you point this Alec out to me, Nadia?
More not-about-me not-news saying that Tori frowned at Alec. So? Alec and vamp Lana go off to do things the squirrels didn't want to write about.
Squirrels...
Definitely drugs. Dawn finds out that Alec is a seed-sowing gardener.... and Alec is picky and decides Cally won't do for him. And Billy double takes at Lana. You've never seen a girl before, Billy? How about a boy? Tell me you've seen one or the other. Such straight kids we have here.
Liam: A crazy drooling Jamie is dragged off by guys in robes, I wonder if they're wanting to be having the mansex with him, Dean objects to this, as does Jamie, who flees and leads his amorous friends on a merry chase. Neil tells Tori he's still himself. He then finds out about Sam's cookies, which believe me are the finest thing about a woman, and turns down Lana. Are you insane, Neil, my lad? You never turn down a willing lass.
Wilson: Dean Winchester did a good deed and he fed Justin but then he broke Justin's brain by explaining that he'd replaced Ted. Were there at least pancakes involved? And the Justin brain break continues when he talks to Cally and each mistake the other for being who they are but aren't. Though Cally still is so she's not mistaken only Justin. Confused yet? My work here is done. But wait! There's more when Mac tells Justin he missed the arm eating... Did I just read that right? Arm eating? Uh, anyway, then she finds out that Justin isn't who she thought he was and she'd just discussed arm eating with a complete stranger. Talk about the awk-ward. The Awk-ward which only continued when Chad and Justin ran in to each other. Really, I don't think I need to add anything here now do I? And I just keep getting the doozies here. Someone named Lonnie put the moves on Free Light and Loving Bel but before anything happened, Dawn smacked em both with a heavy book. Was it a romance novel? Cause, you know that would have just been irony for you.
Salem: Lonnie and Alec make plans for later tonight. Just make sure there won't be any need for plans nine months from now. John Connor stops in and picks up his award for most boring evening ever. In order to prove that they're both sad, sad human beings, Cally and Chad do a personality check. Mac joins the land of the weird when she asks Chad not to kiss her. Zero is smart and points out the amusement factor of this weekend to Chad
Nadia: Katara let's Chad know that she and Zuko are going to fix things. Waste of time. It'll all be over by Monday. It always was before.
And if it isn't, there will be hell to pay.
Billy and Katara are both in the common room, which I think we've already established. Her--Hermin--Her-my-ninny turns Crichton into a kiwi fruit. Wait, bird. Kiwi bird. The other would be funnier, since odds are good Professor Rita turned him into any number of birds last year. Though a kiwi is definitely much cuter than the Most Horrifying Creature That Ever Lived. Then She-is-my-ninny tells Dawn that books are bad. Only in the special collections.
Brian: Zero interviews No-Name Girl but can't understand what she's saying any more than I can pronounce her name. Dean double-you tee effs at No-Name Girl.
Dean and Annette are happy they're still them, which shows a definite lack of vision. And Dawn makes sure Alec is still Alec... why? Because of all the snogging Alec seems to be doing? And she checks on Buffy.
Liam: Dean and Alec be talking about tying up Sam, kinky, Alec meets Alec, before one of them checks up on Cally, who then tells Neferboobythere be no naked serving boys. Neferbosom, lass, I'll be willing to serve you nakedly, if you'll just say the word. Neferbust tries to get Dean naked, gotta love a lass with initiative, then gets hit on by Alec. Whichever Alec that was, you don't go hitting a lady.
Nadia: If you say "boobs" or any variation of that one more time, I swear I'm going to beat you with this microphone.
Liam: Aww, lass, it's no reflection on your glorious pair, if that's what you're thinking.
Nadia: *smacking noise*
Liam: Feisty.
Nadia: I seriously hope that Willow was right about every single detention this semester.
Wilson: Flirt later children
Wilson: Nefertiri -cause there is no way in HELL I'm getting in the middle of this- Nefertiri confides in Dawn that she was not pleased with Conner's muffins. *Chitter chitter!!* What? Oh! Sorry. She was not pleased with Conner leaving the middle of a sparing match to get muffins...which...nope doesn't make much more sense than what I originally said. Hopefully Nefertiri's interview with Zero made more sense. And moving down to the Second Floor Common room, where people were not quite so OMG chatty! Cassie sat and worried about the 3rd floor caving in on her, not an entirely unreasonable concern today. Balithier joined Cassie in her concern, which is probably why he didn't notice his keys being pilfered. And Waldo watered a plant. Wait...the plant didn't
Wilson: try to eat him or proposition him? That's just...downright anticlimatic.
Salem: In a climatic move, Zero has a camera. Lonnie complains about the lack of sex on the island. She's in the wrong places then. Rita talks about rubber nipples. Mufassa has been watching too much television and goes off on a gremlin hunt. And then he gets bitten by one
Nadia: James Earl Jones, who is apparently a lion, and wouldn't Hollywood love to hear about that one, had a chat with Salem, and ignored an interview with Zero. Good to know his star ego is well and truly in place. Weiss stopped to have a chat with our new resident actor/lion, then ran away, and Waldo climbed a tree. And in further animal news, a turtle was in the hallway.
Brian: Zero films a turtle. Cam talks to the turtle. People are starved for art, since Jaye also takes a picture of the turtle. In case it's Crichton?
In the fifth floor common room Polexia is watching music videos and snacking. Cameron greets Marie and tells her about the live music scene, which has definitely improved since my arrival. Polexia isn't impressed, which proves she hasn't much taste in music.
Wilson: Elsewhere Peter and Street express dismay at the lack of business. Given what I read in the notes earlier about why Bridge needed bail, I think that when all is said and done someone(s) are going to be quite happy of this fact. And the conversation between Peter and Bel just defies all common logic and I'm just not going any further than that because at least one of these gentlemen is my student. Weiss probably does the smart thing in all of this and expresses proper dismay at Bel's peddling of free love. This earns him a hug...but buck up Weiss, at least it was free? Bel then continues to spread the love and offers to make Alec day better. I'll leave it to your own fertile little imaginations as to just how that works out.
Salem: The unfortunately named Street and Polexia ponder how to make Fandom better. Easy. Make me dictator. Street thinks uniforms should cost extra. And along those lines, Bel offers to make Street's night better. Polexia offers to help Conner with lack of a meteor. Can she get me a country to rule over as well? Conner also turns Street down for more personal services.
Brian: Waldo makes popcorn, and you'd think that the popping would help Conner find him, but no. Simba-
*sound of angry chittering, some cursing in Spanish, and a loud BONK*
Brian: This just in, a squirrel has knocked Nadia out with a very large acorn. Is she alright down there? I was just starting to like her.
Right. Simba scampers around the grounds. Frederic and Kowalski and others sing. Waldo, Zero, and Darth Mufasa Earl Jones watch the singing.
And down in the gym, Edward Hyde destroys a punching bag. Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent, Edward.
Liam: Cassie, understandably, finds this quite uncanny, Edward proves he is no gentleman by insulting the lass, and they fight, later being joined by Tyler who feels the need to protect Cassie's honour. Annette spies on them, shocking Billy.
Liam: In other news, there be a great beastie singing and brooding on the roof.
Wilson: I'm up? Ah, let me take a look here. Okay the notes say that Simba stalks the Beast and as I take a moment to make sure I read that right, there is an extra note here that claims this was the CUTEST THING EVER and given what just happened to Nadia, I'll take the squirrels' word for that. Obvious it was cute enough for Jaye to take pictures of Simba. Nefertiri is fascinated by the Beast and while this is prime material for beastiality jokes I'll refrain due to FCC regulations. But it must be said that this Beast is getting around as it seems he and Lonnie got catty at each other which seems strange since I would have thought they would have been after completely different prey. And the last note on this page says that the Beast was stalking Irulan's hat. See, totally different prey.
Brian: Jaye is quite the shutterbug, and Waldo (again) is climbing a building. Setsuna takes Josh on a shirtless and leashed - what is it with the girls around here and leashes? - walk around the dorms. Lucky boy. But it makes Ranma... angry and screamy.
D is sneaky, another shutterbug, setting a trap for wild game - or students. By turning off the lights and making coffee? Oooh, fun pictures. And Jason enters and gets his hand stuck in....
*helpless laughter*
...stuck in pie.
Liam: What's wrong with pie? Setsuna and the leashed Josh stop in. Bathlier joins Jason in the pie, that Waldo fellow comes by for coffee, and Tannim tries to set fire to the room before giving up and watching something called a movie.
Cally be wearing a sailor girl outfit, making smoothies, and dancing in the Fourth Floor Common Room, I don't know what a smoothie is, but I think I'm wanting one.
Wilson: Cally also finds it necessary to announce to CJ that she's Veronica Halliwell and that she wrestled an alligator. Another Halliwell? We're going to have a family reunion soon. Then we have CJ going and blowing her whistle (not!Dirty) at Mac and grilling her about wearing sunscreen. No honestly, I couldn't resist...stop looking at me like that, I couldn't! And that leads to Cally and Mac sharing a milkshake which is as it should be in it's cuteness. My next note just says that Waldo comes in. That's it? Really? Well, I guess given his last apperance in my notes, that might be high excitement for Waldo. Cally is a dear and gives Kabuto a smoothie while he's busy taking notes, which is nice of her. Unless it was an algae smoothie with kelp...in which case, not so nice. But maybe it had anchovies in it because the smoothie sharing caused Salem to stop and oogle at Cally.
Brian: Lonnie is pissed (these squirrels have some mouths) to wake up to find a Beast on her floor. Phoebe goes out to have some fun. Good thinking, Phoebe. See, she's not evil after all. Sam tends to the Beast's wound? Lonnie must have been very pissed. While Waldo inspects her lock, which sounds like it could be quite an interesting thing to do, depending upon the lock.
Setsuna and Josh make out. Before or after the leash, Josh? And Cedric Diggory starts his day in a sea of rainbows and puffy clouds. Not really.
Liam: Eric and Rita wake up together, Eric you lucky dog, you. Molly be reading comics in her room, like any well bred lass would, when Katara comes in to share news about a fine lad named Zuko, Dawn be bringing Molly food and talk of weirdness in the town, and Hermione be asking her to go shopping.
Wilson: Moving on from Molly's room the next note...oh my...the next note says that Jason and Shinn wake up together. I hope that is as it's supposed to be or some more with the awk-ward. Zero sent an e-mail. In between the interviews and the picture taking I've got to be impressed with her multi-tasking skills. And lastly it says here that Dean has Tom tied up and brings him food and questions him. Somehow I think we could have stopped at tied up and guessed that the next family meeting is going to be a tad strained. Tyler brings Nefertiti hot chocolate. now that's a way to make a new friend and lastly Alec and Lana get interrupted by Josiah which I'm guessing might not be a good way to make a new friend.
Brian: Leoben is in his room. The Girl-Whose-Name-I'm-Not-Bothering-With tells Leoben that he loves her. Run Leoben. Run. Six talks about their plans. Whose plans, I cannot say, the squirrels, which are glaring at me, didn't write that down. Molly goes to look for Ray and finds out that Leoben, and most of the island, have been spreading God's love all weekend.
And Zuko and Katara are... schmoopy? You might want to shower after that.
Liam: Sokka seems to be of the same opinion, as he interupted them. Unless he be wanting Katara for himself, maybe? Hermione gets a phone call, what's that? Phoebe and Lana be making out, I'd be liking to know if I can watch, and the Beast be wanting Sam Carter's fine, fine cookies.
Tori and Conner, fine name that, even if it is misspelt, be exploring the town and looking for a meteor, and Waldo be joining them in the sewers.
Wilson: *Sound of notes rustling* Uh, no.. I am not reporting that...it's not pertinant to anyone but myself. *More rustling* Okay, moving right along, JJ got lucky with Six. Can I just take a moment to reflect on the level of flailing that will ensue in the aftermath of this?
*.......*
*Sound of a nut bonking off a skull*
Wilson: Ow! All right, all right you little slave drivers. Clark showers and Rose comes over. Really, that's all I've got about that. The next item up is Xander breaking into an apartment early this morning. Really I do hope it turned out to be his own because if I have to label one more thing 'awk-ward' the karma is going to be out to get me. Which I think it already is as I am being forced at nut point to report that Katara skipped through the park. And then tried to sled on Kowalski the penguin and finally Tess draws in the junkyard and Waldo is there...Oh dear God...okay, now that Nadia is unconscious can we get back into the rum?
Brian: Jo listens to the radio podcast at the Perk. Is this in English? I don't think so, since the next item is that Chris and Wyatt are "skeevy" at Jo. Then Jo is preached at by Leoben, and I'm a little surprised to see that the squirrels are sympathetic. Bond quizzes Nadia (that's where she got to) about the letter M. It starts words like "mallet," Mr. Bond. Lana goes man-hunting. I wish you bon appetit, Lana.
Liam: Tannim gets coffee and that Waldo fellow inspects the ceiling tiles, is it just me or is he everywhere today?
Over in the Park, Pheobe be camping out, Lana be discussing her sexual frustration with Pheobe, which I happen to be knowing the perfect cure for, and JJ, well, he be giving his card to the lovely ladies.
Wilson: Next to report from the Park is....uh huh...well it seems that the doppleganger of my other half is wasting no time in being utterly innapropriate as Phoebe and Bond flirt and make a date and that is wrong on so many levels I can't even begin to describe it.
Also to report Waldo hugged a tree which ... continues the disturbing trend of Waldo sightings.
[19:14] Wilson: Phoebe and Casanova flirt and kiss in the park. Shuichi sobs at Phoebe about not being able to speak English at work and Casanova tells Shuici to remember their kiss, which is apparently a bad thing to ask.
Honestly, with the way this weekend has been going, it's amazing the entire island didn't turn into one giant orgy.
Brian: Yuuki is not sympathetic with Shoochi about speaking English at work. Josh and Phoebe make out in the park, which might explain what I was reading about the leash earlier.
Wonka's hosted brunch, where Luna has a problem with Bluntman or Chronic's language. I have no idea what that means.
And Waldo has chocolate milk. If anyone is fool enough to ask "Where's Waldo?" the answer is bloody everywhere.
Liam: Luna meets Aiden, who then speaks to Tommy about whether this place is always weird. I'm thinking yes. Mary tells Luna about her travels, then hopes that John Connor's day is better, Luna tries to help by showing him a candy rodeo.
I have no idea what that is.
Wilson: Bluntman and Chronic see Mufasa and wonder how high they are. Can I answer that one? Please? No...damn, pass the rum. Luna totally serves Mufasa and I'm not going any further with that one. On the flip side of keeping the lion happy, Tommy wants to know if Mufasa speaks Spanish too. Gonna go out on a limb here and guess...no.Jaye goes looking for pixie stix, and picture-taking opportunities, though hopefully not at the same time, because how would you get the camera past the pixie stix?
And the twins open Sparky Repairs.
Brian: Josiah holds his own service at church. Why not? Let each man act on his own conscience. Someone named Deadpool went looking for Rosette and ended up playing with Josiah instead.
I like this place more and more.
Juliet, who is a charming young woman (call me,) is at the church looking for a priest. Tess is in the junkyard and Bond goes to the pool.
This town talks about the inane and sex. It's an interesting mix.
Liam: Annette seems to be quite pleased by Bond's attentions, the English cad procedes to flirt shamelessly with Aly, Mistress Frizzle is confused, and after dealing with the English I can't blame her. Waldo, in a truly shocking turn of events, is there, and does not jump off the diving board, and Rita makes a drink date with Bond. Oh, Rita lass, everyone knows the English can't drink.
Wilson: I was totally at the park loving the snow, however I did not realize that Waldo was checking it out and...wait, just who did John Connor takes a picture of?? Mr. Connor!
Armand walks the streets, but the squirrels want it made clear that he is not hustler looking for a john. Glad we kept that straight...or not straight, however you want to see it. John Connor gets invited into the poker game, As does Sandy, who was lost. How the hell do you get lost on Fandom...it's an island people!
In other news...wait...this is news? Who the heck decides... *sound of a nut hitting a skull* OW! Fine. Naruto wants to know if Armand ate all his Ramen which the squirrels swear is news worthy.
Brian: Tommy meets Armand. Waldo is in the sewer. Of course he is. Rita waits outside the bank and talks to Annette. Waldo... *sighs* Waldo is there using the aye tee em.
Mary is at the Perk and she and Billy say hi to each other. Joy.
Liam: Oh, hey, here's that bloody Waldo again, getting himself addicted to caffiene, while Mary and Cassanova be flirting and dating at the Perk.
Suchi be starting work at the Devil's Nest, which be sounding like a most cheery place for Rita and the English Pigdog to be having their drinks. Yuki and Cassanova be checking in on Suchi.
Brian: Rita tries to rob the bank, and because we're reporting it here, no one will be surprised to hear that she was taken to jail for it. At the jail, Weiss and Zero vist Rita. Which must have been a downer for Weiss because he ends up at Caritas wishing for things to go back to normal. Also at Caritas, George Sr. insults Greg's hair, and if that's the balding man behind the bar, I think he should find a good wig before he starts throwing insults.
Then JJ tells Six about himself and that must have been a real turnon for him/her because they leave together.
Liam: Pheobe and Lana decide to solve their men troubles by kissing. While Josiah watches. You're a lucky man Josiah. Greg be talking with Lonnie, who gets a drink the old fashioned way, by showing people her boobies. Sadly, I wasn't one of them. Winnie who be a prude with no appreciation for art, gets Sasparilla and icecream, Lonnie then chats up Cedric Diggory
Wilson: Cedric must be a popular young man as it is being reported that Tino has a crush on Cedric Diggory. Err...that's sweet...I think...well, at least it might mean free booze right? Caritas is just the place for everyone to bump in to ... every thing. Such as Liam meets Winnie. I'm not sure who Winnie is but I'm sharing a bottle of rum with Liam...Bettina had to bribe George Sr. again and then she met Ares.
And will you look at that... Waldo was in the lounge.
Oh this sort of is right up my ally...at the clinic, Doogie is there for his very first shift. and when I'm more awake I'll probably wonder who the hell is Doogie but for now I'll just note that the shift was quite, as was Stark's evening shift except for....oh dear God... Waldo.
*Sound of drinking...heavy drinking.*
Brian: Good night Fandom. This was Brian Slade gracing your radio waves and I'm going to lock the door now, because I expect Waldo along at any moment.
Liam: Good nig- *chittering* what do you want wee squirrel demons? Oh, another page of notes? All right then, according to this Stephen Colbert be setting something up somewhere called the dangershop, and the office be open. Waldo...was not there?
Right now, you wee demon beasts, is that it?
*more chittering*
Liam: Oh thank the Lord. I could kiss each and every one of you.
*alarmed chittering*
*sound of something heavy hitting a thick Irish skull*
*drunken Irish snores until the radio cuts out*
[I crawl off to die now. Much, much, love to my fellow radioers
dr_jwilsonmd, nadiathesaint, threeweapons, and walter_n_wires]
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Xander, having finally realized he could check the radio broadcast and downloaded the pod on his phone, slowly beat his head against said phone. "Like I could be that lucky."
[Y'all are insane in the best way. *salutes*]
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Then he went back to thinking up nice secluded vacation spots. Preferably ones that featured dark caves.
[ooc: The mun, on the other hand, did 'listen' to the radio. Bravo, guys!]
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At least her real name wasn't used.
[but I would be so sad if she did-- woot!]
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