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fandom_radio2006-10-01 01:24 am
willbedone.livejournal.com) wrote in fandom_radio2006-10-01 01:24 am
Entry tags:
Fandom Rademo, Saturday, September 30
Hello, Fandom. Willow Rosenberg here, reporting the news as though that's going to somehow matter in the face of the meaninglessness of life, the universe, and the fact that I can't finish writing this poem because I don't know what rhymes with razor blades.
Sure, I suppose in the end someone could point out that I don't have it so bad. My parents pull in five figures a year. I go to an exclusive private school. My boyfriend is really, seriously hot. But then again isn't having everything just another way to have nothing? I tried to express all these feelings in a painting but for some reason the store was completely out of black. I tried using a really dark pink but it just wasn't the same.
Sigh.
Anyway...
School: Where We Don't Learn How Many of Us It Takes to Change a Lightbulb Because We Prefer Crying in The Dark
The detention announcement today featured Agnes and Blair. Too overcome with depression to kick Seely Booth in the crotch, they instead gave him a makeover involving skinny pants and moving his hair at a three-fifths angle across his face. I'm sure they didn't bother to use a protractor. Nobody understands us math geeks.
Gun club met. They shot at things, though not themselves, and chatted amongst each other and to Parker about whether this was close enough to count as having sucidal tendencies without A) making them look like posers or B) having any sort of confusion with the band of the same name. There's no word if there was an answer to this debate, which is fine because nobody cares enough about me to tell me things anyway. Well, besides the squirrels who give me these notes but right now they're busy with something else.
Dorms: The Best Place Possible to Watch Your Napoleon Dynamite DVDs
This morning in the gym Jack symbolically recreated humanity's fruitless struggle to find purpose in the world. He and Cedric make plans to update their Myspaces about the result and Sam teaches them a move that involves the words "Down, not across."
In the Fifth Floor Common Room River shows pancakes that being food is no reason to avoid suffering and Lyra bravely eats some of the results even though this increases the risk that she won't be able to pretend she has an eating disorder. Unlike Elizabeth over in the Second Floor Common Room who has no problems binging on bagels and muffins with Pippi, because having bulemia totally counts even if you forget to purge.
In the Fourth Floor Common Room Mac has impressively locked herself deep within catatonia, scaring Lavender in the process and thus earning her a very good entry for her Livejournal today. Jack and Cedric immediately label her a poser and update their Myspaces accordingly.
Outside the dorms this afternoon Billy sits in a tree and beats the snot out of anyone who dares to suggest this might incline him towards sports in some fashion. As there are no challengers, he does get to continue to claim that he was always picked last for every team, as was everyone here at school. Even every single member of the basketball team where, if you think about it, that's not actually possible. But this is Fandom High and anything can happen, especially if it adds to our oppression.
Also outside the dorms Old Man, Pup, and Mr. Neilson play with sticks. The sticks, in turn, update their Vox accounts to complain about how tired they are of being ignored unless someone wants to throw them.
Moving our attention to the various spots around the dorms where we hide ourselves away from the cold, cruel light of judgement plus those flourescents in the bathroom that make that annoying buzzing sound, Jude has angst, Dean all but buckles under the pressure of all the wrongs in the world, the twins are twice as depressed as everyone else, and Ranma realizes that horn-rimmed glasses and vintage T-shirts are just not androgynous enough for Homecoming. Not that any of us care about Homecoming since Homecoming, like everyone else in the world, doesn't care about us.
Up on the roof Nadia, who is drunk and therefore in deep, deep trouble at the next sXe meeting, somehow manages to find strength enough to play music, possibly about the torment going on deep in her soul but my notes don't specify. Walter keeps her company, Evie is pounced upon by those who would have all of us know that they are far, far too depressed for acutal pouncing, and Jake is simply too cool for all of this while Pip points out that if Nadia absolutely has to sing about fluffy little kitty cats she is only allowed to do so ironically.
Conner cries manly tears, Pete can't find Dashboard Confessional on his radio, Stark tries on various kinds of hoodies, Summer and Shawn try to find icons that involve the word "Pain" written over and over in a tiny font, and Walter is upset that![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
i_cry_to_much is not only taken as a username but also misspelled.
Billy writes a letter lit by nothing but unnatural light, Jack sobs where none can hear him, Teddy and Will consider smoking clove cigarettes, Lana wears a trucker cap while talking to Chad about how Jim doesn't understand her, Parker's emotional pain is so strong she sticks an ice pick into her skull, Tyler listens to Panic at the Disco, Bel searches maps to find if there are any nearby cliffs he can jump off of, Jack and Cedric debate whether or not boykissy counts as gay if you're only doing it to make girls squeal, and Cally updates her blog with her Quizzilla "What self-injury am I?" results. (Hint: Not burning!)
Also Hikaru and Setsuna and Marie and Jamie do stuff but it's not deep so nobody cares.
In the evening, the Third Floor Common Room was the place to be if you wanted to try to avoid dealing with your problems like the emotional coward that you are. Of course that doesn't keep Buffy from thinking that getting ice cream is the same as getting love or Ray who self-medicates with television and dog porn. Dawn warns Alec that Buffy is so depressed she might drive a car right into a tree, or a busload of orphans, or a busload of orphans who are carrying baby trees. But Buffy distracts Alec from this by using her breasts to get people's attention. To which Alec responds by trying to get Ray to die in his place and - Alec, really, one of these days you're going to have to realize that you can't solve your problems by putting the solution onto other people.
Dean tries to help Alec by showing him humor as a defense mechanism, he also tells Dawn that he, too, has a car that can be used for introverted homicides. Buffy is immediately all over that action but Dawn spreads the word of Buffy's intervention to Sam, which results in Sam being threatened by Buffy with the object she uses to bring her love-replacement to herself, and really I think we can all draw our own conclusions from there.
Finally, Dean continues to believe that fixating on a car will somehow help him drive away from his feelings, Aeryn wishes that she could use animals for suicide attempts, and Dean finally admits that, like Buffy and the ice cream, he uses automobiles in place of family.
Town: Where The Perk's Coffee is As Black As Our Hearts and Pizza Planet's Pizza Thoughtfully Cuts Itself
Thursday Next makes a breakfast out of her blood and tears... or possibly coffee and donuts. I don't actually have notes that specify. Logan stops by and ponders whether someone who is horrendously overwrought with inner torment is allowed to have hobbies. Mr. Winchester and Thursday talk about what an adjustment it is to realize that nobody understands you, and Dean stops by. Presumably to borrow the car so he could try to paint it blacker.
Clark and my Dance teacher are so sad they're wandering the streets. Parker stops by at Jarod's to ask him to stop wearing her jeans. River brings Jane a circular treat of death and despair - or possibly chocolate chips.
Dr. Wilson and Dr. Pevensie one-up Nadia's lack of straight edginess by crying into their coffee instead of their beer. Bel stops by to sigh and stare at nothing in particular, and Dr. Wilson talks to Abby about his inner demons.
Setsuna pays the price for trying to talk to someone about her agony, Cafe Fina can't summon the inner strength to open, Darth Vader is in mourning when he realizes his wardrobe is more of a goth thing, and Rosette is depressed at how nobody realizes that her proper name is "Fleurchon."
The clinic is quiet for Alanna and Dr. Troy. And there's something in the park but I don't see how that's important.
Over at Caritas there was the first performance of Teal Dear. Jarod was so upset about this that Greg had to point out that, though he may feel like one, he is not actually a worm. Jarod gets into an argument with Jack about how Jack totally defriended him on Livejournal without asking. Z and Greg wonder why they can't get their drinks to be any darker. Artie is trying to stalk something, possibly an ex-girlfriend who broke his heart and said she loved him but didn't really mean it and ended up dating some jock even though she swore she loved guys only for their souls. Or maybe an ex-boyfriend. I don't assume Artie's sexuality. Point being, he's dedicated to whatever he's following.
Isabel and Greg talk about how excited they are about Homecoming but while their lips say yes, their eyes say that clearly it's not actually possible for them to be bestirred to this level of enthusiasm about anything that doesn't somehow involve pretending you don't like dealing with other people. Eric and Jaye talk about coconut bras. Coconut bras immediately post a friends-locked entry to their Livejournals in which they reveal they never liked Eric and Jaye anyway. Logan pretends to be a fan of the band when you know he's only acting that way because he thinks its cool. And Aziraphale bonds with origami ducks, who immediately give themselves papercuts.
Teal Dear arrives. Jack and Rory are roupies, which is when roadies and groupies are being shipped together. And then the big moment! The band performs.
In the audience Walter, Z, Teddy, and Pip express their enjoyment by showing no movement whatsoever except nodding their heads. Angela, Isabel, Rory, and my boyfriend do them one better by not not even looking at the stage because if you look at the stage of the band you came to see you are a loser and everyone knows it. This is also why Sam just stands there and folds her arms, Peter Parker merely stares, Mac and Cally aren't even in the same part of the club, and a shadowy figure flees the bar, possibly while muttering under his or her breath that they used to like Teal Dear before everyone else did and therefore the band started to suck.
And that's all the news I have for Fandom. Not that my reporting the news matters. Nobody listens, I'm not interesting enough to pay attention to anyway, and I should just go lock myself in my room and never come out again. Also maybe I should be vegan. Of course that might be hard since I sometimes bend the rules on being Kosher, but it seems like a thing to do. Maybe I could be semi-vegan and that way still enjoy a pizza without having to put up with soy cheese.
Anyway, I leave you with these final words from the squirrels, who've been spending my broadcast writing poetry:
"Life is meaningless
Today saw no boykissy
We demand more nuts."
I think their haiku speaks for all of us. Good night, Fandom.
Sure, I suppose in the end someone could point out that I don't have it so bad. My parents pull in five figures a year. I go to an exclusive private school. My boyfriend is really, seriously hot. But then again isn't having everything just another way to have nothing? I tried to express all these feelings in a painting but for some reason the store was completely out of black. I tried using a really dark pink but it just wasn't the same.
Sigh.
Anyway...
School: Where We Don't Learn How Many of Us It Takes to Change a Lightbulb Because We Prefer Crying in The Dark
The detention announcement today featured Agnes and Blair. Too overcome with depression to kick Seely Booth in the crotch, they instead gave him a makeover involving skinny pants and moving his hair at a three-fifths angle across his face. I'm sure they didn't bother to use a protractor. Nobody understands us math geeks.
Gun club met. They shot at things, though not themselves, and chatted amongst each other and to Parker about whether this was close enough to count as having sucidal tendencies without A) making them look like posers or B) having any sort of confusion with the band of the same name. There's no word if there was an answer to this debate, which is fine because nobody cares enough about me to tell me things anyway. Well, besides the squirrels who give me these notes but right now they're busy with something else.
Dorms: The Best Place Possible to Watch Your Napoleon Dynamite DVDs
This morning in the gym Jack symbolically recreated humanity's fruitless struggle to find purpose in the world. He and Cedric make plans to update their Myspaces about the result and Sam teaches them a move that involves the words "Down, not across."
In the Fifth Floor Common Room River shows pancakes that being food is no reason to avoid suffering and Lyra bravely eats some of the results even though this increases the risk that she won't be able to pretend she has an eating disorder. Unlike Elizabeth over in the Second Floor Common Room who has no problems binging on bagels and muffins with Pippi, because having bulemia totally counts even if you forget to purge.
In the Fourth Floor Common Room Mac has impressively locked herself deep within catatonia, scaring Lavender in the process and thus earning her a very good entry for her Livejournal today. Jack and Cedric immediately label her a poser and update their Myspaces accordingly.
Outside the dorms this afternoon Billy sits in a tree and beats the snot out of anyone who dares to suggest this might incline him towards sports in some fashion. As there are no challengers, he does get to continue to claim that he was always picked last for every team, as was everyone here at school. Even every single member of the basketball team where, if you think about it, that's not actually possible. But this is Fandom High and anything can happen, especially if it adds to our oppression.
Also outside the dorms Old Man, Pup, and Mr. Neilson play with sticks. The sticks, in turn, update their Vox accounts to complain about how tired they are of being ignored unless someone wants to throw them.
Moving our attention to the various spots around the dorms where we hide ourselves away from the cold, cruel light of judgement plus those flourescents in the bathroom that make that annoying buzzing sound, Jude has angst, Dean all but buckles under the pressure of all the wrongs in the world, the twins are twice as depressed as everyone else, and Ranma realizes that horn-rimmed glasses and vintage T-shirts are just not androgynous enough for Homecoming. Not that any of us care about Homecoming since Homecoming, like everyone else in the world, doesn't care about us.
Up on the roof Nadia, who is drunk and therefore in deep, deep trouble at the next sXe meeting, somehow manages to find strength enough to play music, possibly about the torment going on deep in her soul but my notes don't specify. Walter keeps her company, Evie is pounced upon by those who would have all of us know that they are far, far too depressed for acutal pouncing, and Jake is simply too cool for all of this while Pip points out that if Nadia absolutely has to sing about fluffy little kitty cats she is only allowed to do so ironically.
Conner cries manly tears, Pete can't find Dashboard Confessional on his radio, Stark tries on various kinds of hoodies, Summer and Shawn try to find icons that involve the word "Pain" written over and over in a tiny font, and Walter is upset that
i_cry_to_much is not only taken as a username but also misspelled. Billy writes a letter lit by nothing but unnatural light, Jack sobs where none can hear him, Teddy and Will consider smoking clove cigarettes, Lana wears a trucker cap while talking to Chad about how Jim doesn't understand her, Parker's emotional pain is so strong she sticks an ice pick into her skull, Tyler listens to Panic at the Disco, Bel searches maps to find if there are any nearby cliffs he can jump off of, Jack and Cedric debate whether or not boykissy counts as gay if you're only doing it to make girls squeal, and Cally updates her blog with her Quizzilla "What self-injury am I?" results. (Hint: Not burning!)
Also Hikaru and Setsuna and Marie and Jamie do stuff but it's not deep so nobody cares.
In the evening, the Third Floor Common Room was the place to be if you wanted to try to avoid dealing with your problems like the emotional coward that you are. Of course that doesn't keep Buffy from thinking that getting ice cream is the same as getting love or Ray who self-medicates with television and dog porn. Dawn warns Alec that Buffy is so depressed she might drive a car right into a tree, or a busload of orphans, or a busload of orphans who are carrying baby trees. But Buffy distracts Alec from this by using her breasts to get people's attention. To which Alec responds by trying to get Ray to die in his place and - Alec, really, one of these days you're going to have to realize that you can't solve your problems by putting the solution onto other people.
Dean tries to help Alec by showing him humor as a defense mechanism, he also tells Dawn that he, too, has a car that can be used for introverted homicides. Buffy is immediately all over that action but Dawn spreads the word of Buffy's intervention to Sam, which results in Sam being threatened by Buffy with the object she uses to bring her love-replacement to herself, and really I think we can all draw our own conclusions from there.
Finally, Dean continues to believe that fixating on a car will somehow help him drive away from his feelings, Aeryn wishes that she could use animals for suicide attempts, and Dean finally admits that, like Buffy and the ice cream, he uses automobiles in place of family.
Town: Where The Perk's Coffee is As Black As Our Hearts and Pizza Planet's Pizza Thoughtfully Cuts Itself
Thursday Next makes a breakfast out of her blood and tears... or possibly coffee and donuts. I don't actually have notes that specify. Logan stops by and ponders whether someone who is horrendously overwrought with inner torment is allowed to have hobbies. Mr. Winchester and Thursday talk about what an adjustment it is to realize that nobody understands you, and Dean stops by. Presumably to borrow the car so he could try to paint it blacker.
Clark and my Dance teacher are so sad they're wandering the streets. Parker stops by at Jarod's to ask him to stop wearing her jeans. River brings Jane a circular treat of death and despair - or possibly chocolate chips.
Dr. Wilson and Dr. Pevensie one-up Nadia's lack of straight edginess by crying into their coffee instead of their beer. Bel stops by to sigh and stare at nothing in particular, and Dr. Wilson talks to Abby about his inner demons.
Setsuna pays the price for trying to talk to someone about her agony, Cafe Fina can't summon the inner strength to open, Darth Vader is in mourning when he realizes his wardrobe is more of a goth thing, and Rosette is depressed at how nobody realizes that her proper name is "Fleurchon."
The clinic is quiet for Alanna and Dr. Troy. And there's something in the park but I don't see how that's important.
Over at Caritas there was the first performance of Teal Dear. Jarod was so upset about this that Greg had to point out that, though he may feel like one, he is not actually a worm. Jarod gets into an argument with Jack about how Jack totally defriended him on Livejournal without asking. Z and Greg wonder why they can't get their drinks to be any darker. Artie is trying to stalk something, possibly an ex-girlfriend who broke his heart and said she loved him but didn't really mean it and ended up dating some jock even though she swore she loved guys only for their souls. Or maybe an ex-boyfriend. I don't assume Artie's sexuality. Point being, he's dedicated to whatever he's following.
Isabel and Greg talk about how excited they are about Homecoming but while their lips say yes, their eyes say that clearly it's not actually possible for them to be bestirred to this level of enthusiasm about anything that doesn't somehow involve pretending you don't like dealing with other people. Eric and Jaye talk about coconut bras. Coconut bras immediately post a friends-locked entry to their Livejournals in which they reveal they never liked Eric and Jaye anyway. Logan pretends to be a fan of the band when you know he's only acting that way because he thinks its cool. And Aziraphale bonds with origami ducks, who immediately give themselves papercuts.
Teal Dear arrives. Jack and Rory are roupies, which is when roadies and groupies are being shipped together. And then the big moment! The band performs.
In the audience Walter, Z, Teddy, and Pip express their enjoyment by showing no movement whatsoever except nodding their heads. Angela, Isabel, Rory, and my boyfriend do them one better by not not even looking at the stage because if you look at the stage of the band you came to see you are a loser and everyone knows it. This is also why Sam just stands there and folds her arms, Peter Parker merely stares, Mac and Cally aren't even in the same part of the club, and a shadowy figure flees the bar, possibly while muttering under his or her breath that they used to like Teal Dear before everyone else did and therefore the band started to suck.
And that's all the news I have for Fandom. Not that my reporting the news matters. Nobody listens, I'm not interesting enough to pay attention to anyway, and I should just go lock myself in my room and never come out again. Also maybe I should be vegan. Of course that might be hard since I sometimes bend the rules on being Kosher, but it seems like a thing to do. Maybe I could be semi-vegan and that way still enjoy a pizza without having to put up with soy cheese.
Anyway, I leave you with these final words from the squirrels, who've been spending my broadcast writing poetry:
"Life is meaningless
Today saw no boykissy
We demand more nuts."
I think their haiku speaks for all of us. Good night, Fandom.
no subject
no subject
no subject
(with entirely inappropriate icon)
no subject
no subject
while her mun continues to bounce, flail, and glee over all the amazing emo and especially the fleurchons.no subject
no subject