Fandom Radio: Monday, September 18

[threeweapons.livejournal.com]

Aly: "Good evening, Fandom from Aly, the brains of this outfit."

Faithful: "That's what she thinks. Good evening Fandom! This is Faithful, the real brains here."

Aly: "All that fish you've eaten has finally sharpened your thought processes, my feline friend?"

Faithful: A long purr. "I've been getting a lot of practice, since no one else around here bothers to think."

Aly: "I don't have the slightest idea what you could possibly be referring to." A pause. "And since that's the case, shall we jump directly into the day's news?"


School. Where school things happen.
Faithful: "That's an idea, yes. Let's see....Dean The Tick makes announcments. The first floor is built, Blair is wanted, and if you get expelled, play checkers."

Aly: "Or, using normal logic, Dean the Tick called Blair to his office and beating The Tick at checkers can prevent you from being expelled. Apparently he's bad at them too."

Faithful: "My logic is superior to your logic."

Aly: "My logic makes sense to our listeners."

Faithful: "A minor detail."

Aly: "Speaking of minor details, Prophecy talked about examples of prophecy in literature. Maia asks Professor Phale if people who see the future are mutants. As you do. And Weiss asks Nadia for advice on dating Jaye. Booze is suggested. Weiss. Listen to Nadia. She sounds like a smart girl."

Faithful: A loud snort. "Especially since it's Jaye. Hmmm...Bel and Bridge are worried about Anders. Is that way they're calling it now? Blair, Phoebe, and Lavender discuss their upcoming project as do Maia, Joxer, and Agnes. Please don't blow up the school when I'm in it."

Aly: "Since it's prophecy class, I'm hoping they'll see that coming. In World History, they determine that the story of Rome is the story of the world. And then play Death to Rome on the computer. Wow, so they basically learned how to destroy the world today? I love this place."

Faithful: "Not when I'm on it! Wait until I'm gone! Then destroy away! Ahem. Moving on...Media Studies talks about color symbolism. Fascinating. Mac and Jake talk. How...riveting, really. Jaye hisses at her purse. I'm not in it, so I have no idea why she's hissing at it. Aly?"

Aly: "Maybe you're not unique anymore?"

Faithful: "That, or Jaye has gone completely off of the deep end. Okay, I have no idea what any of this means but Sam tells Dean that he's getting thet Metallicar. Don't blow up the school! And finally, the class shows their paintings to their guest, Joshua. Dean's painting kills someone." Silence. "Dean? What did I say about homicide?"

Aly: "He listened to you perfectly. Death by painting isn't illegal. Homicide is. Good job, Dean. I approve. In lighter news, Pop Culture discusses dating then practices asking each other out.The sound of giggling is heard. "Really, you just walk up to someone and bat your eyelashes. How hard is that?

Faithful: "If you're certain people? Extremely."

Aly: "If there's a redhead out there who needs help? I can give you pointers. Lavender, on the other hand, is more concerned if they're setting up real dates. Lavender's a girl after my heart."

Faithful: Snickering can be heard. "I'll pay to see that conversation. Ahem. Interstellar Relations goes over something that sounds boring and then they discuss it. Awesome. And finally, Cross Species Communications discusses dolphins. Shockingly? I like dolphins. And for dinner. Gasp, shock, the horror. The students disappear. And then they come back. No more classes for today?

Aly: "Nope. All other learning was outside the classroom. My favourite kind."

Faithful: "Too many jokes, not enough time. But there are still some school related news."

Aly: "There is?"

Faithful: "Yes. Like office hours. Like Yondaime's, El Mariachi's, and Dean Tick's. I'd like to say that El is a very odd first name. But by Fandom standards? Totally normal." Snort.

Aly: "And responding to Dean The Tick's call, Blair stopped by his office hours. As Zuko did to Professor Gilmore-Danes'. And if we want to talk about odd names, I think Zuko's a good one here. Ellie has office hours. And the actual office is open. It's a Monday, folks."

Faithful: "More office hours. Joy. River visits Mary Poppin's. And everyone and their fourth cousin visits Aziraphale's. Why didn't you have office hours?"

Aly: "Because mine are on Wednesdays and Fridays. Should I change to Monday so you can report it? Thursday - Thursday? Seriously? has office hours. Vice Principal Pierce is in HIS office and the library is open and unvisited."

Faithful: "Woe. Poor library. And that's the end for boring school stuff. Hm...does the club fair count as school or not?"

Aly: "It's in that grey area really. Let's talk about it now. All you students were supposed to sign up for clubs today. Evie told Billy about the Archaeology Club and Bel talked to Phoebe, Lana, Cute Sam - is he really?, Dean W, and Marie about the Demon Support group. Then the English Pony - and again I find myself saying SERIOUSLY? - interested Door, Zuko, Sakurazaki, Billy, and Lyra in Fencing. I expected another name there, but I suppose she didn't have to be interested in it."

Faithful: "She signed up and didn't bother talking to English Pony. Who in the world is English Pony and what were his parents thinking? Can and Luke offer to help Aeryn with Flight Club. Cam. Cam, not can. Billy is also interested. Seely and Billy talk to Parker about Gun Club. Billy? You don't have to sign up for every single club in existance, really. All the boys want to be fat." Long silence. "Okay then. Alanna talks to Layla and Door about Self-Defense - let me guess, her advice was to punch them? - and John Connor is weird. And rude. And going to lose a lot of blood next time I see him."

Aly: "What'd he do? Call you a dog?"

Faithful: "No. He called me a girl and wouldn't believe me when I corrected him."

Aly: "Okay, people. When the TALKING CAT tells you something? Listen to him. He does carrying weapons."

Faithful: "Mrowr!"

Dorms. Where people live.
Aly: "Early this morning in the 4th Floor Common Room, Mac wrapped up in blankets and watched cartoons."

Faithful: "And in a reversal of heat, River makes popcorn and feeds Berthold ice cream. I want milk. Lavender and River talk about withces. That witches with a w. Blair and River make a date for Wednesday. Okay, that gets an honest aw out of me. Bel is a demon. Water is wet. Next! Lavender and Bel try to figure out how to bottle Blair. And to end the insanity in that room...Bily gets hit by flying popcorn. Did he have to go the clinic?"

Aly: Sound of notes being flipped through. "I don't see anything about that. Apparently the gym was hopping this afternoon. Peter Pevensie - the notes say this is English Pony - discussed drunken monkeys, pirates and Guy Fawkes Day with Conner. Well obviously. Then he and Jamie made a plan to attack the Common Rooms before a possible Stickbug council was discussed with Tyler. Jack confronts Alec about the Jaye situation - there's a Jaye situation? Bad luck, Weiss. And Alec and Tyler are surprised to see each other in the gym. That kinda a bad sign, you know?"

Faithful: "Depends, did anyone check into the clinic? Oh, more dorms. Pete Hutter tries to watch television. Tries? You either watch it or you don't. I don't get humans. Gwynn and Pete try to free the people inside the TV. Please, please, I beg you, don't! Mac has a reponse very much like mine to Pete. Agnes informes Pete that she's a witch."

Aly: "Back on the 5th Floor for those keeping track of the Common Room popularity score, Evie is watching movies and eating popcorn. She tells Elizabeth that she likes the movie because she recognises the clothes. Elizabeth and English Peter talk about New York City. Sounds fascinating."

Faithful: "Setsuna and Evie are blushy around each other. Aw. Fandom's next couple? I'm rolling my eyes, just on the record. Bel and Setsuna are awkward around each other. When did those two sleep together? Peter and Evie talk about ... oh who cares? Bel and Evie talk about good vs bad demons. To recap: Angel and Bel good, everyone else? Bad."

Aly: "What he said, right. Anders had a weird dream last night." Sound of looking through the notes. "Okay, how did they know that? Sakurazaki is upset about her posters, and Matilda leaves a note for the twins. Jack was apparently a sweetheart and brought Cedric a book, and Door wrote in her journal. Her very secret journal now that it's on the radio."

Faithful: "But not literally. John makes Aeryn pancakes. If I say aw, will she stab me? Parker says hi to Eric. I'm so honored to have gotten to deliver this very important piece of news, really. Eric tells Nadia about his cunning plan. And now half the student population has an early enough warning to stop him. Rory is sad. In the woods. Rory? Psychiatrist. Please. For your sake and the sake of the trees."

Aly: "But then Bridge stopped by to try to cheer her up. I hear he's good at that. Naomi and Jude had lunch together in the cafeteria. Billy ate lunch too."

Town. Where town people live.
Faithful: "Okay, now I'm very curious? Did anyone wind up in the clinic?" A loud thud can be heard. "Ow. Okay, let's see... nope and no."

Aly: "I really am going to have to keep reminding you that curiosity killed the cat, aren't I. Just keep it in mind. I'll give you shrimp next week if you remember. In Caritas Isabel promises to give Jarod Twinkies. And I have to ask...euphemism? That question keeps on coming when Chad and his plastic dinosaur stop by."

Faithful: "Pfft! That's just a rumor! The curiousity thing, not Chad and his plastic dinosaur nor the Twinkie thing."

Aly: "No shrimp for you then."

Faithful: "Hmph! Fine then, random people listening to us? Bring me shrimp."

Aly: "Make him tell you about the curiosity thing first. Really. It's for his own good."

Faithful: "I'm ignoring you now. Not you. Her. Er...my tail is pointed at the blonde to my left. What else happened in town? Hikaru was in Sparky Repairs. I read that as Snarky first and considered applying for a position. Braca ponders Halloween costumes. The first person to show up as a cat is donating blood. Jack asks Lana at Giles's shop about Jim. Chad opens Empire Records. Yawn. And that's ... oh wait. Um....There's a fight between the radio squirrels and the emo ducks. Seriously people, I don't make stuff like this up."

Aly: Sound of pages being flipped "No, I couldn't make stuff like this up. Have you noticed that this section of the notes is just filled with insults about Clark and that duck? Wow. I didn't know that was anatomically possible even."

Faithful: "Mrowr? Mrowr! I didn't want to know that was anatomically possible! Yuck! Just when I thought this school couldn't get weirder."

Aly: "And in other news of the strange, Sister Rosette guards her church against zombie cats. Somehow I don't think that was because of the ducks, but my notes say it is. And finally, Jack and Cedric are absolutely adorable on their Ching Tai date. They ate Peking Duck."


Faithful: Snort. "Fandom High: Weirdness is our motto. Did we miss anything?"

Aly: "Student Council elections are on Wednesday. Everyone be sure to vote for the man, woman, or sentient being of your preference."

Faithful: "And Seniors? Vote for Alanna. Even though there's only two other people running against her. Still. Vote. See? I can do the whole loyal pet thing."

Aly: "For that? I'll give you shrimp. Good night Fandom!"

Faithful: "Good night Fandom! Stay sober!"