Fandom Radio, Sunday Morning - 8/7

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

Reno: Yo, Fandom! Welcome to another ‘day after the worst shit ever’ kinda Sunday on the island! The birds are... kinda scared to come out, sure. But the sky is doin’ better, and if I’m here too long and I miss out on all that fancy Disney crap, I’m gonna be irked, yo. I already had to pry my co-host off the ground, here.

Deadpool: I’m surprised the squirrels managed to get any of these notes, to be honest.

Reno: Yeah? I’d be surprised if they didn’t have some kinda special riot gear for collectin’ their dirt on this kinda thing. Little helmets. Flak jackets...

Deadpool: I’m pretty sure I tried to eat one...

Reno: Gets stuck in your teeth, man. Stick with deer next time.

Deadpool: Mmmm, delicious mutated animals. Anyway! Over at the school we only had Belle, hanging out and reading about mutants.

Reno: The nasty gray kind? No offense.

Deadpool: I’m not a mutant. I’m a mutate. It’s totally different back home.

Reno: Oh, yeah? Where I come from, people who are changed by alien forces are just called friggin' ugly. Usually. Unless they got silver hair or blue eyes, and then we just call 'em SOLDIER.

Deadpool: ...I want my own special theme song that consists of just my name.

Reno: No. You don't. In the dorms, demonstratin' their amazing survival skills durin' this time of crisis, Peter an' Kenzi locked themselves away in the bathroom, where they played cards and gambled for weapons while plannin' to get people with superhuman speed to run 'em out of danger. See, I wouldn't mind haulin' you guys around if that's what you're lookin' for, but if I gotta do it while you reek like bathroom, you'll owe me for the save, yo.

Deadpool: Gross. I’m glad I’m not the hero type.

Reno: I ain't either, but I kinda got a soft spot for my students, yo. Little idiot shitheads.

Deadpool: But they’re hiding in a bathroom.

Reno: And you spent all night pinned to the ground by weird-assed little boomerang things. I ain't callin' in any favors for yankin' those out, either.

Deadpool: I will stab you in the eeeeeye.

Reno: Gotta catch me first, smelly. Down in the lobby, Faramir was restin' up after spendin' his morning killin' shit, and contemplatin' his new skin condition. At least he wasn't alone in that, since James was sportin' gray spots of his own when he stopped by. Kenzi was a little bogged down by weapons after her card game with Peter, but that didn't stop her from talkin' with Faramir about how much experience he's got with his sword. Squall had his hands full with Rinoa in his room, too. Apparently she was havin' trouble with the infestation, and figured that kissin' him would be a good idea. Crazy, crazy kids.

Deadpool: I’m sure it was very romantic, though. And that’s what matters most.

Reno: I dunno. Not havin' distended eye sockets has its charms, too.

Deadpool: ...true. In town, we have Dani dealing with the horses over at the gig. Who aren't evil. Over at the campgrounds, we've got that blight thing slowly killing the island. People arrived and got their plan on to get rid of it once and for all.

Well. Slowly, I guess. Still grey here!

Reno: You ain't pickin' your teeth with the wildlife anymore. That's somethin', anyhow.

Deadpool: But they were so delicious then!

Reno: They taste better when you ain't eatin' the fur, too. So I hear.

Deadpool: You lie like a dog! Raven and Karla talked about how to remove the blight from the land and other super dramatic crap. Karla also talked to Surreal about that, but Surreal was all 'Whatever! Whatever! I'll do what I want!' Herc, like all of us, wondered why Icee was all spikey. Until we remembered that he's probably from the 90s and no one liked the costumes from that era. Surreal and Kate talk about how fighting is better than sex. And now I'm pretty sure they're freaky lil' chicks.

Reno: Adrenaline's about the same. Risk of injury varies on your kinks or how well you know your way around a weapon. Org-

*Chittering*

Reno: Maybe I won't go comparin' the two over the radio, yo.

Deadpool: Squirrels hate all joy, I’ve noticed. Damn them.

Reno: Maybe they're just bitter because we claimed all the rum today.

Deadpool: Mmmm. Booze makes this trauma easier. And now it's time to fix this crap! Those magic folks were shoving that blight back into the stone. Like making a sausage. Oh, and then Warren attacked her. Like you do when you're an evil monster. Fun times, man. Fun times.

Reno: Elsewhere, in the same big-assed mess, our science team was there to deal with the rock. So, kudos to guys like William and Vincent, who double-teamed on a rocket-powered catapult. I love this place, yo. Where else do I get to say things like 'rocket-powered catapult,' anyhow?

Deadpool: Do you think they also fire watermelons out of it? Ooo! Or fruitcake?

Reno: I bet if you asked 'em real nice, they'd shoot fruitcake at you, man.

Deadpool: It can be a Christmas special!

Reno: We can put a white beard on you and get you to hand out presents after, since you're already in red and all.

Deadpool: I’m pretty sure I killed Santa once, you know. Might have been just some guy at a mall, but I was totally hired to do it.

Reno: See, now I regret not havin' these stupid Earth holidays back on Gaia, yo. Movin' on, we fighters got to get in there and bloody up our knuckles a bit, too. Cara took on what the squirrels are assurin' me was Principal Washburn, no matter how she looked by that point, yo. Wesley got to experience a bit of an aerial attack by Warren, but he managed to beat the kid off with the butt of his gun. Warren moved on to take on Iceman - I hope your mama didn't give you that name, kid - who distracted Warren with a decoy made out of ice. Hey, if it works... Ramona, armed with a hammer, took on Leia, who didn't have much luck tryin' to take the hammer away. Kate an' her sword took on Bo, and ended up a little bloody in the process. Seifer showed off his style on the battlefield by takin' a monster's jaw off. And then its head. Nice. Nightwing, whose name is about as unfortunate as 'Iceman,' was hidin' out in a tree. Jack Sparrow helpfully pointed out that he was up there, in case Nightwing hadn't noticed. And then, because people with ridiculous names can't hide out in trees all the time, Nightwing came down to dropkick Deadpool, here. In the head.

Deadpool: So not cool, man. I like this head. Now that it’s normal shaped and all.

Reno: Ain't like he could scramble your brain up any more'n it usually is, though.

Deadpool: I still have claws, you know.

Reno: I hear it's difficult to make ham coffee with those things.

Deadpool: Maybe, but I can still stab you with them. Like a member of the Jersey Shore.

Reno: We could sign you on to that show. You'd be famous. Anyhow, after the fightin' and the healin' and the kickin' Deadpool in the head, it was all over. Thank friggin' goodness. The silence around this place was startin' to remind me of Edge, and if I wanted to live in Edge, I'd... move back. Whatever.

Deadpool: Aaaaand at the clinic, Chloe was all surly about having grey spots. Really, Chloe? Really? Zayne who is attempting to overrun us with Jedi showed up to complain about his grey spots too. There were also plenty of other people working there. For the grey folks.

Reno: I should'a swung by there. Brought some chew-toys or whatever.

Deadpool: You’re a giver, Reno. That’s what I like about you.

Reno: It's because I care. Earlier in the day, before all hell broke loose at the campgrounds, people were...you know. Ugly an' weird, yo. Ever interested in keepin' classy, Oz took a time-out to make some tail room in his pants before headin' out to hunt. Always a good idea. Wouldn't wanna go huntin' with no room in your pants, I guess. The park got a decent dose of infection while the nasty crept toward the dorms. Bruce was out there, takin' on some deer, and had his ass bailed out by Nightwing after he got smashed into a tree. Rookie move, Bruce. Calvin was pretendin' to be infected in the hopes that Topher would leave him alone, but that didn't work so well. I think that only works for bears, Calvin. Momoko was teasin' Scully with a squirrel, and now half the population of this radio booth is shuddering. Mm. Nutritious squirrel.

*Chittering!*

*Acorn-pelting sounds*

Reno: Uncle! ... Yeah. So, movin' on, we had Jamie out for a patrol. He was attacked by Momoko, who wasn't really in her right head, I'm thinkin'. Especially since she went and tried to take down an armed Karla while she was at it, yo. Hope you're feelin' less PMS-sy today, Momo. Bo an' Kenzi got in a bit of a scuffle, too. I'm thinkin' it didn't turn out too bad, or we'd be readin' obits on these broadcasts, too.

Deadpool: And I think that’s it. Is that it?

Reno: Better be it. There's a theme park across the water that's callin' my name, yo.

Deadpool: Don’t give into the Disneeeeeeey!

Reno: I can't help it. It's got this siren call that makes me wanna grow my hair out and change my catchphrase, yo.

Deadpool: ...you would.