fandom_radio | Fandom Radio, Sunday Morning 5/29

Reno: Yo, Fandom! It’s another beautiful day in the soggiest big city I ever saw, an’ here I am, inside, drinkin’ rum and enjoyin’ the skyline, yo. Pretty, ain’t it?

Deadpool: You only say that because you’re secretly Japanese and love that crap.

Reno: Last I checked, I wasn’t. But it does kinda remind me of home sweet home anyhow, yo. Mmm, smog.

Deadpool: It’s a secret Japanese.

Reno: See, where we come from, we call that ‘Wutai.’

Deadpool: Secret. Japanese.

Reno: Sure, man. Sure. But if you ask me, Japan is Fake-Wutai, yo. Yesterday was Saturday, yo. Which means mostly that all that School stuff pretty much boiled down to Bod bein' in a good mood in the library, and then Jack MacAllister comin' in to whine about the weather. What's wrong with the weather? So it's a bit soggy, man. Soggy never hurt anyone, did it?

Deadpool: Ooooover in the dorms, Faramir was brooding like a broody brooder who broods in the rain. While taking care of his horse. Still broody. Peter who was not a masked crime fighter was making cereal and toast for everyone. Because he's either just nice like that or planning to poison you all. Just sayin'. Topher who was not a symbiote possessed douche was all 'Yay, food!' and then they talked about parents shipping them here. Deal with it. Effy and Topher decided to throw a party the next time it rained food from the heavens and then party like it's Biblical times. Ohhhh yeeeeah. Kate was pleased to see Peter being social because of something called third floor pride. Which sounds like a rash. Effy did that amused and so into Peter thing where she pretends to not be, but totally is. Maybe. I got bored mid-read. Alexander showed up to make Peter look bad by making eggs for everyone too. Oh, buuuuurn. And then Dave stopped by to talk about where they are in the timeline. Just don't realize you're Peter's great great grandpa or some crap, okay?

Reno: I’m tryin’ to figure out if that’d be awkward, or just hilarious, yo.

Deadpool: I dunno. AU!Nate once macked on Nate’s real mom who is the clone of AU!Nate’s mom. It was just awkward for everyone involved.

Reno: People from your corner of the multiverse really like keepin’ it in the family, don’t you?

Deadpool: And then there was this time I had my shape shifter girlfriend impersonate Nate’s girlfriend and she fell in love with him. And now I live with the guy.

Reno: … Man, I can’t even touch that. Where I come from is weird, but that’s just somethin’ magical, yo.

Deadpool: Isn’t it just? The lobby today had a group of kids return from an excursion to Japan that did not end well for them. Toby--STOP IT WITH THE SPIDER-MAN NAMES, PEOPLE--Toby lost a shoe and is demanding that Stan replace it after a robo-geisha something something. But Butters was more concerned about the fact that Toby ended up with a tattoo on his chest. Yeah, that means 'radish', man. Way to be. Jim and Toby discussed the high probability of the Japanese people being cannibals and if a Pop Tart can be one too. The answer is yes. Jim and Stan talked about those damn Pop Tarts again and then Stan tried to make Jim swear. Yess, yessss. Overthrow the Disney overlord. Doooo iiiiit.

Reno: Are we incitin’ anarchy in our students through dirty words again?

Deadpool: It’s healthy!

Reno: It’s real liberatin’!

Deadpool: DO IT, JIM. Jim and Butters discussed a flying cat that crapped rainbows during their time in Japan. Oh, LSD. Not good for you kids, mmmkay? Stan and Butters talked about someone wearing a kitten maid outfit. Well. That's a new one. Sam and Stan are glad to have survived and certain the next time they do something, it'll be way less weird. Really. That's like thinking a nice trip out by the Avengers won't end in a super-villain attack. Sam and Jim compared and contrasted skateboards that fly and... don't fly. Very scientific. Richards was involved and everything. And, finally, Toby mocked Sam for his glittery eyepatch and Sam mocked Toby for his tattoo. And then they made out.

Reno: It’s Fandom. It’s glitter. I’m surprised they don’t warn these kids about this shit when they show up, no more.

Deadpool: Until the squirrels make flags, I think those kids are safe.

Reno: How much rum you suppose I gotta bribe the squirrels with to get ‘em to do that?

Deadpool: At least a bottle.

Reno: I’ll make it two. In Town, we had Bo over at the Devil's Nest bein' all happy, yo. You know, one day I'll actually stop by there an' check that place out? I think I'm just too loyal to Caritas after years of not bein' carded as a student to make the swap, though. Anyhow, Isabela came in an' Bo introduced herself as the dorky guy from last weekend. Didn't stop Isabela from gettin' a drink and flirtin' more once she got her head around that one. Dick wanted to know what kinda specials there were, and Jack Priest slid down askin' the same. Neither of them had any clue, so they just talked about the weird shit that Fandom's pulled on 'em both. Bo offered Dick an appletini, which Dick turned down on the grounds that he might go a little nuts if he starts on those. I ain't sure if he was snarkin' there, or if the guy's just a total lightweight. I'm gonna assume the second, because it's way more fun to mock people on the air about shit like that, yo.

Deadpool: Plus, it implies he has experience with appletinis. Which, as we all know, is a chick drink.

Reno: Does that mean we can call him ‘Chick Dick’ from now on?

Deadpool: I’m almost sure I saw that on the internet once.

Reno: Almost? If you ain’t, you ain’t been on the internet long enough.

Deadpool: Reno, you kinky bastard.

Reno: I ain’t even gonna deny it, man. It was free. Jack, the not-smelly, not-a-student one, same in and ordered a soda with lime water before introducin' himself to Bo. Because nobody actually drinks booze in the bars on this island no more. I'm disappointed in all of you, yo. Eric was havin' a drink in his usual spot when Dick came over to apologize for that whole 'clown thing.' I dunno what that is, but that sounds like about as much fun to nib about on radio as the appletini thing.

Deadpool: KILL HIM WITH FIRE, ERIC.

Reno: For the clown thing? Or just because he’s a pansy ass who can’t hold a chick drink?

Deadpool: Clowns are the worst thing on the planet. They must be destroyed!

Reno Fire it is, then! Simon was out enjoyin' the weather with a jog yesterday, when Nathan not-the-mayor started to smack him around and call him names an' shit. And I just wanna say that he didn't learn that kinda behavior in my class, yo. He was a pro before I taught the kids how to be total jerkoffs. Over at the T&C, Jane was lookin' at books, and then down at the barn, Dani was keepin' an eye on the horses, includin' the one that was outside runnin' in the rain.

Deadpool: And that’s our show, folks! I hope we’ve made you laugh, made you cry, made you really think about yourselves...

Reno: Made you laugh at Dick...

Deadpool: It’s okay, everyone likes a lil’ Dick, but not all the time.

Reno: Best enjoyed with appletinis, I hear.

Deadpool: Remember, folks! Keep Dick safe! Don’t let him go overboard on those appletinis!