http://bluth-illusions.livejournal.com/ (![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png)
bluth-illusions.livejournal.com) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandom_radio2011-05-08 11:00 am
bluth-illusions.livejournal.com) wrote in fandom_radio2011-05-08 11:00 am
Entry tags:
Fandom Radio, Sunday, May 8th
*The broadcast begins with the opening to The Final Countdown. After a minute of introduction, a voice finally comes over the airwaves.*
Female Voice: And now, coming to you on WTFH Radio, a Reporter Named GOB!
GOB: Okay, here's your extra fifty bucks, get out of here.
Hello, Fandom! I got a bunch of notes faxed over with a note saying that the guy who was doing the Sunday broadcasts was gone, so they needed a pinch hitter to call in and do the show from home. And if there's one thing I love doing, it's stepping in and having a bunch of people listen to me, so I'm doing it.
So let's get right to it, because there's a lot of notes here with a lot of names I don't recognize and won't remember.
We'll get to the huge ass picnic in a bit, so let's get started with a little bit of Dorms news!
*the opening to The Final Countdown starts again for about 15 seconds*
Late at night in the fourth floor common room, some chick named Sam was making frustrated noises at the TV. I'll probably never meet her, so I'm going to say she's a caveman and modern technology confuses and frightens her. A new guy named Jack came in and they talked about all the weird stuff they've seen and heard today, including police armor, vikings, and aliens that have the same name as their planet. You think that's weird? Just wait until you get some hookers in town again and see what they'll do for a few bucks more.
*phone ringing* *chitters*
Sorry, apparently that was offensive. It's a family broadcast. Just wait until you get some hookers in town again and see what they'll do for some more candy.
Scully came by and told Sam she wasn't from space, so Sam told her she's here because dumped a smoothie on a cop's head. Ha! And then Seifer.... Sigh-fur? Sea-fir? That guy was the last man in the room and he whined about his ex hooking up with some guy he hates and something about roasting his weenie with some magic. Seriously? I can't make a joke about hookers - and it's not even a joke, it's true! - but you force me to talk about...
*phone ringing* *chitters*
Oh. Hot dogs. Well how was I supposed to know that?
Anyway, let's do some Town news!
*the opening to The Final Countdown starts again for about 10 seconds*
Mary was at the Arms Hotel just in case anyone needed a room or a job. Maybe next time I'm in town--
*phone ringing*
Oh, COME ON! I didn't even say anything yet. Maybe it was going to be offering services as a bellhop. In fact--
*phone ringing*
Fine. I don't even know how the damn squirrels got my number....
Bo Jones got some training by Tiny at the Devil's Nest on her first day, and that place is open again? That town's just falling apart without me.
And a confused guy named Columbus showed up at the causeway and started yelling out the names of cities. I guess he should have made that right turn at Albuquerque.
And now the big one. Welcome Picnic news!
That's right, yesterday was the first welcome picnic of the summer. New people came by and met, old people met new people, and some people were probably topless and male, which I think is unfair in a world of gender equality.
*phone ringing* *chitters*
No, I wasn't talking about the underage girls. Female teachers, come on!
Or recent graduates.
Come on.
Let's start with people meeting their siblings. Jim Hawkings met George, who was down on herself about being a sibling, but she told him all about Fandom's crap anyway. Annie met Faramir, who told her that all of the weird stuff wasn't a prank. Stan met Chuck, but they ended up being nerds at each other for a bit. Kate Daniels found Caroline thanks to Caroline's huge sign, and she figured out that this wasn't her world when nothing she said made sense to anyone. Freddie found Wesley and vikings, so he knew things were a little weird. Topher had Elphaba, and that's somehow enough to show off that Fandom's weird. What, is she part unicorn or something? I don't know this crap, I'm not there.
Same deal with Jocelyn meeting Warren, but that's because he has wings. And is probably not part unicorn or something. Anyway, he home is weird too, so BFD about the wings. Mercedes didn't believe anything Tony was telling her because it's weird. Peter Wiggin - Ha, "Wiggin." - had Karla, who knows a Peter Wiggin and hates him, which just confused Peter. Simon has Sookie - Ha, "Sookie." I guess we're just doing names that I laugh at right now. - and Sookie, ha, had cookies to bribe him into not being weirded out by her explanations. But apparently he's a weirdo too, so it's not a problem. He got free cookies for nothing.
Sigh... Sea... That guy found Alexander because Alexander had a sign - but it was smaller than Caroline's - and that guy was still freaked out by it. Richie had Ariel. Dave had Ramona, who gave him a bingo card. Billy wasn't freaked out by Dolf because he already knows Deadpool. Butters... Really? He had Jack McCallister. Toby had Claudia, who pegged him as a foster kid. Alex Aaron who I'm going to call Double A for fun had Bobby Drake and was a big nerd about it. Boy Sam had Bobby McCallister, who told him about all the cool things in Fandom, not including hookers since you don't have them there. And even if you did, he's probably too young to go to hookers. You know, if anyone can ever really be too young for a hooker.
*ringing phone*
I'm not answering that. I'm sticking to my principles there. Just remember, you get what you pay for, so save up!
*ringing phone continues*
Hold on, it's going to voicemail....
*ringing phone stops*
Okay, let's keep going. Surreal met Raven, who talked about how cool the teachers are. Damian met Rilla and he rejected her cookies and offer of siblinghood. Jack Carter met Rinoa, who took joy in wrecking his brain. Angelica was nervous and had a comforting Stephanie. Girl Sam met Spock, who was direct about all of the weirdness and the fact that he's an alien. Marshall had confusion about the year his chick roommate and he wanted answers from Scully.
And now let's go to the roommate finding portion of the day. Jim and Peter were both sent to Fandom against their will, so they bonded. Stan and Toby bonded over threats of fire. Wesley got creeped out by Double A. Dave and Topher bonded over being normal. Ramona got a new roommate in Simon and she told him about the other students and the school. Boy Sam told Butters to call him Sam, but I'm telling Butters to call him Boy Sam. Do it, Butters!
S....that guy found out that his roommate George is a chick who doesn't mind that her roommate is a good-looking guy. Annie and Jack Carter bonded over the fact that co-ed rooms are the least weird thing about Fandom. Freddie and Richie are roomies and promised privacy.
Look, these notes are *phone static*ing long. You have to let me have some fun.
Jocelyn and Marshall are looking to wuss out of their co-ed room. I bet they're doing it by the end of the month. Billy and Mercedes are at least going to try rooming and not telling their parents. Two weeks until they're banging. Elphaba impressed Angelica by telling her how great Fandom is. If they didn't do it last night, I'll be disappointed. And Girl Sam couldn't get over the fact that her roommate is named Goose. They'll never have sex. His name is Goose. He needs to find someone named Gander, come on!
Damian doesn't hate Kate as much as he hates the idea of sharing. And Surreal was happy to be rooming with Cally.
But that's not all! We also have new teachers! Some of who should be topless women. I'm sure the students agree with me. Get it on the next Student Council ballot or something.
That guy asked Deadpool if he should be allowed around children... and I think that guy makes a good point. Reno found the new librarian, Belle, and let her know that the kids are weird. She was excited anyway. That guy also found Reno and bugged him about if he should be a teacher, too. If he does that to one more teacher, I say we start a pool.
Jane found Reed to welcome him to Fandom and then talked to Belle, which is giving me flashbacks to an amusement park for some reason. Shuns...wooey brought Columbus some sake. And Deadpool tried to shun-swooey Columbus over to the students, not realizing he was a teacher. Chuck Bass found Teacher Sam and they talked about Chuck's recovery and their living situation this summer. That guy talked to Teacher Sam, too, but apparently didn't question his qualifications. Damn. No pool. Steve found Teacher Sam and offered whatever help he needed to become a real teacher and not just a student pretending that he knows stuff. And Raven talked to Teacher Sam too because apparently he's Mister Popular Teacher this time. I never had that many people talk to me at picnics when I taught for a couple summers. But no, I'm not bitter. Come on.
Deadpool mocked Dick for his mullet instead of his name. Or he could have said he was a dick because of the mullet. Mullethead tried to pass it off as a ponytail. Damian wanted Dick to take him home, but Dick decided his name was too provocative and didn't want to get arrested. Also, he's not the Dick that Damian knows. And he--
*phone ringing*
COME ON! Fine, I'll stop it with the Dick jokes because the squirrels are being Mulletheads about it. Roy ran into Dick and they had that weird "I know a different you" thing, but at least they were both ready for it.
Deadpool tried to shun-sooey Hermione over to the students, too, but apparently she got older and is a teacher and his employee. Zoe was a better employer than Deadpool and told Hermione about Iceland. Well, that seems like a random topic of conver... Oh, the island's in Iceland? How the hell did that happen?
Anakin was happy about not having more family stop by, but Deadpool teased him about Wiggins. Seriously, that name. It's like something you'd name a little, fluffy puppy. I should get a Wiggins for my act and pull him out of a hat. People will expect a rabbit, but instead they'll get a Wiggins dog.... Hold on, I'm writing this down. Dick talked to Anakin since he took Ethics when he was a student and Anakin remembered him. Good for him. And Anders and Stark talked about geography as they returned to teach. Just so you know, you're in Iceland. Get the memo. Come on.
And then people just started talking to each other with no structure.
Tony had food. Jack Carter bugged him to see if he was related to a different, evil Stark, but Tony said no. Which is just what an evil liar would do. Stephanie shared food with Tony and they flirted and brought up Ender, probably to talk him into a threesome or something. Topher had a lot of food and Mercy mocked him for his food choices. Old Kate gave Topher chocolate and a reality check because there's somebody who looks just like him. Stan and Nathan had a chat about *phone static* and *phone static* and *phone static*ing your *phone static* and last but not least *****s o m u c h p h o n e s t a t i c*****.
Jim didn't care about the food and told Ariel that inanimate food sucks. Marshall helped Jim pick food and heard Jim explain that he doesn't know what the hell Canada is. Jim's my favorite student. Old Kate also welcomed Jim. Jacob ate some food and talked to New Kate about magic and crap, which isn't nearly as great as illusion. Jacob also had weirdness as Mercy talked to him about being a shifter and didn't look him in the eye and stuff like that. Then Claudia came by to see if he'd get more boys shirtless but refused to go topless herself, which is just being a tea--
*phone ringing*
Right, underage. A tea-drinking... proper young lady. Not a tease. Because me telling underage girls to take their tops off is 'wrong.'
*phone ringing* *chitters*
What do you mean you could hear the finger quotes?
Scully asked if Jacob had a new sib, so he told her about how he stole his last sibling's girlfriend and punched him when he called the girl a bad name, so no, he didn't. Caroline talked to Jacob about shirtlessness. Wiggins was smarmy according to the squirrels who defend their right to call him that. Just like I defend my right to call him "Wiggins." Tony kicked off confusion by asking if Wiggins was Ender, so Wiggins called him a drunk. Old Kate talked to Wiggins about crazy people. Nathan was smoking when Ramona came by to talk about shirtlessness and beds and stuff like that. Simon and Nathan had a very nice conversation about the old days before Nathan finally admitted that he had no clue who Simon was. Nice try, though!
Percy and Double A talked about Greek stuff. Jason and Nico talked about sibs and nakedness and people who looked like Jason. Ramona had coffee and a visit from Jacob. They talked about shirtlessness and haircuts. Topher failed to flirt with Ramona and she failed to tell him about the weird crap because it was funnier that way. Good call.
Luke was eating when Percy bugged him to see if they were related to anyone new and then they flirted and stole food. Double A talked to Luke about New York and superheroes and how Double A being a god was better than Luke being a demi-god. Well, they just talked about what they were. I'm ranking them.
Sookie - ha - talked to Mercy about crowds and awesome people. That guy talked to Sookie about Rinoa and Squall and Quistis and other names that the squirrels have to be making up.
Seriously, I think I ate Quistis cereal when I was a kid. I got the decoder ring from the box. That was Quistis, right?
*phone ringing* *chitters*
Okay, I'll move on. But I swear there was a Quistis cereal!
Roy was offended by Puck's shirtliness and monogamy until Puck explained that his girlfriend was really hot. Toby stared at the food and Bod told him that food was a big thing in Fandom. Unlike hookers. And topless adult women. That's my commentary, don't bother calling. Old Kate gave Dave chocolate and he promised to be nice. Boy Sam and Mercy talked about why they're in Fandom. That guy and Raven caught up because apparently they know each other from a world with more people with names the squirrels make up. Jocelyn talked to Faramir and they bonded over being from weird worlds that aren't normal and her tattoos. Carolyn made Jocelyn mad by thinking tattoos were tattoos, then freaked out by telling her she was a vampire. And Wesley figured out how to ask about the tattoos without making her mad. Now I'm wondering what they look like. There's probably a dragon on there. Maybe holding a heart with "Mom" written on it.
Caroline told Mercy more about Fandom. Claudia and Jack realized they had a friend in common and that friend banged her in some future and she got a visit from the kid that came from that the last time that happened in Fandom. Old Kate gave Jack chocolate, too.
Karla thought she knew That guy. Rinoa did know That guy. And Squall hates that guy. FIght. Fight. Fight.
*phone ringing* *chitters*
Oh, right, in the past.
Bobby D told Angelica about how great Fandom is because she looked lost. Faramir told her that everyone's friendly and helpful. Jocelyn suggested to Angelica that the vikings were a prank. And Billy and Angelica tried to figure out what reality is.
Caroline convinced Bobby McC to stop eating and take off his shirt. Wiggins charmed Annie and told her not to sweat the weird stuff. Boy Sam and Annie compared stories about the weirdness they've heard about. And Old Kate tracked Annie down to give her chocolate.
Billy and Boy Sam talked about food and superheroes and scary crap. Tony told Billy about Iceland and the radio. Hi, Billy. Just so you know, I'm probably not your dad. But I could be. Say hi to your mom from GOB!
*phone ringing* *chitters*
Fine. The squirrels want me to announce that I don't know who the hell Billy's mom is and she's from a different universe than me and I've never slept with her so I'm definitely not his dad.
....
But if any of it is true, it's between me and Billy's mom.
*phone ringing*
Let's just let that go to voicemail too.... And okay. Billy and Bobby D were foodies. Bobby McC tried to convince Jason that there was a girl who looked like them, which is the weirdest prank I've heard in a while. Lindsay and Topher talked about how this isn't a normal prep school. Double A talked to Tony about Captain America and the future.
Jocelyn and Boy Sam talked about the stories they'd heard and powers. Freddie was convinced Lion-o was a Furry. Ramona and Nathan had a little spat about him leaving in a few days. Old Kate and Bod talked about the third floor. Karla and Surreal bonded over being from the same world. And Old Kate gave Surreal chocolate.
Puck went with the classy jacket on, shirt off look, and found an admirer in Girl Sam.
*phone ringing* *chitters*
I'm not mocking him! I use that look in my act sometimes. Sometimes I still wear a tie, too. Angelica was really awkward at Puck because of the shirtlessnes. And Surreal had the opposite problem and whistled at him. Rinoa found Sookie, ha, and told her that she broke up with Squall. Karla talked to Raven about Jono leaving Fandom without warning and her new sibling, Surreal. Bobby McC talked to Old Kate about his new sibling, but she was a little too focused on the fact that Caroline made him take his shirt off. Karla caught Jocelyn and was confused because she looks like someone else I've never met, but they said hi and everything. Rinoa and Squall looked at each other but didn't talk. Caroline tried to get Jack McC to take his shirt off by telling him that she got his little brother's shirt off, which doesn't work when I try it with sisters and it didn't work for Caroline. And Toby didn't feel good, so he ended up with Karla trying to make him feel better. With her top on.
That's it. Goodbye, Fandom! I'm going to go get a few shots in me before a Mother's Day brunch. Happy Mother's Day to any mothers out there except for mine.
*music starts again as GOB hangs up*
We're leaving together
But still it's farewell
And maybe we'll come back
To earth, who can tell?
I guess there is no one to blame
We're leaving ground
Will things ever be the same again?
It's the final countdown
The final countdown
Female Voice: And now, coming to you on WTFH Radio, a Reporter Named GOB!
GOB: Okay, here's your extra fifty bucks, get out of here.
Hello, Fandom! I got a bunch of notes faxed over with a note saying that the guy who was doing the Sunday broadcasts was gone, so they needed a pinch hitter to call in and do the show from home. And if there's one thing I love doing, it's stepping in and having a bunch of people listen to me, so I'm doing it.
So let's get right to it, because there's a lot of notes here with a lot of names I don't recognize and won't remember.
We'll get to the huge ass picnic in a bit, so let's get started with a little bit of Dorms news!
*the opening to The Final Countdown starts again for about 15 seconds*
Late at night in the fourth floor common room, some chick named Sam was making frustrated noises at the TV. I'll probably never meet her, so I'm going to say she's a caveman and modern technology confuses and frightens her. A new guy named Jack came in and they talked about all the weird stuff they've seen and heard today, including police armor, vikings, and aliens that have the same name as their planet. You think that's weird? Just wait until you get some hookers in town again and see what they'll do for a few bucks more.
*phone ringing* *chitters*
Sorry, apparently that was offensive. It's a family broadcast. Just wait until you get some hookers in town again and see what they'll do for some more candy.
Scully came by and told Sam she wasn't from space, so Sam told her she's here because dumped a smoothie on a cop's head. Ha! And then Seifer.... Sigh-fur? Sea-fir? That guy was the last man in the room and he whined about his ex hooking up with some guy he hates and something about roasting his weenie with some magic. Seriously? I can't make a joke about hookers - and it's not even a joke, it's true! - but you force me to talk about...
*phone ringing* *chitters*
Oh. Hot dogs. Well how was I supposed to know that?
Anyway, let's do some Town news!
*the opening to The Final Countdown starts again for about 10 seconds*
Mary was at the Arms Hotel just in case anyone needed a room or a job. Maybe next time I'm in town--
*phone ringing*
Oh, COME ON! I didn't even say anything yet. Maybe it was going to be offering services as a bellhop. In fact--
*phone ringing*
Fine. I don't even know how the damn squirrels got my number....
Bo Jones got some training by Tiny at the Devil's Nest on her first day, and that place is open again? That town's just falling apart without me.
And a confused guy named Columbus showed up at the causeway and started yelling out the names of cities. I guess he should have made that right turn at Albuquerque.
And now the big one. Welcome Picnic news!
That's right, yesterday was the first welcome picnic of the summer. New people came by and met, old people met new people, and some people were probably topless and male, which I think is unfair in a world of gender equality.
*phone ringing* *chitters*
No, I wasn't talking about the underage girls. Female teachers, come on!
Or recent graduates.
Come on.
Let's start with people meeting their siblings. Jim Hawkings met George, who was down on herself about being a sibling, but she told him all about Fandom's crap anyway. Annie met Faramir, who told her that all of the weird stuff wasn't a prank. Stan met Chuck, but they ended up being nerds at each other for a bit. Kate Daniels found Caroline thanks to Caroline's huge sign, and she figured out that this wasn't her world when nothing she said made sense to anyone. Freddie found Wesley and vikings, so he knew things were a little weird. Topher had Elphaba, and that's somehow enough to show off that Fandom's weird. What, is she part unicorn or something? I don't know this crap, I'm not there.
Same deal with Jocelyn meeting Warren, but that's because he has wings. And is probably not part unicorn or something. Anyway, he home is weird too, so BFD about the wings. Mercedes didn't believe anything Tony was telling her because it's weird. Peter Wiggin - Ha, "Wiggin." - had Karla, who knows a Peter Wiggin and hates him, which just confused Peter. Simon has Sookie - Ha, "Sookie." I guess we're just doing names that I laugh at right now. - and Sookie, ha, had cookies to bribe him into not being weirded out by her explanations. But apparently he's a weirdo too, so it's not a problem. He got free cookies for nothing.
Sigh... Sea... That guy found Alexander because Alexander had a sign - but it was smaller than Caroline's - and that guy was still freaked out by it. Richie had Ariel. Dave had Ramona, who gave him a bingo card. Billy wasn't freaked out by Dolf because he already knows Deadpool. Butters... Really? He had Jack McCallister. Toby had Claudia, who pegged him as a foster kid. Alex Aaron who I'm going to call Double A for fun had Bobby Drake and was a big nerd about it. Boy Sam had Bobby McCallister, who told him about all the cool things in Fandom, not including hookers since you don't have them there. And even if you did, he's probably too young to go to hookers. You know, if anyone can ever really be too young for a hooker.
*ringing phone*
I'm not answering that. I'm sticking to my principles there. Just remember, you get what you pay for, so save up!
*ringing phone continues*
Hold on, it's going to voicemail....
*ringing phone stops*
Okay, let's keep going. Surreal met Raven, who talked about how cool the teachers are. Damian met Rilla and he rejected her cookies and offer of siblinghood. Jack Carter met Rinoa, who took joy in wrecking his brain. Angelica was nervous and had a comforting Stephanie. Girl Sam met Spock, who was direct about all of the weirdness and the fact that he's an alien. Marshall had confusion about the year his chick roommate and he wanted answers from Scully.
And now let's go to the roommate finding portion of the day. Jim and Peter were both sent to Fandom against their will, so they bonded. Stan and Toby bonded over threats of fire. Wesley got creeped out by Double A. Dave and Topher bonded over being normal. Ramona got a new roommate in Simon and she told him about the other students and the school. Boy Sam told Butters to call him Sam, but I'm telling Butters to call him Boy Sam. Do it, Butters!
S....that guy found out that his roommate George is a chick who doesn't mind that her roommate is a good-looking guy. Annie and Jack Carter bonded over the fact that co-ed rooms are the least weird thing about Fandom. Freddie and Richie are roomies and promised privacy.
Look, these notes are *phone static*ing long. You have to let me have some fun.
Jocelyn and Marshall are looking to wuss out of their co-ed room. I bet they're doing it by the end of the month. Billy and Mercedes are at least going to try rooming and not telling their parents. Two weeks until they're banging. Elphaba impressed Angelica by telling her how great Fandom is. If they didn't do it last night, I'll be disappointed. And Girl Sam couldn't get over the fact that her roommate is named Goose. They'll never have sex. His name is Goose. He needs to find someone named Gander, come on!
Damian doesn't hate Kate as much as he hates the idea of sharing. And Surreal was happy to be rooming with Cally.
But that's not all! We also have new teachers! Some of who should be topless women. I'm sure the students agree with me. Get it on the next Student Council ballot or something.
That guy asked Deadpool if he should be allowed around children... and I think that guy makes a good point. Reno found the new librarian, Belle, and let her know that the kids are weird. She was excited anyway. That guy also found Reno and bugged him about if he should be a teacher, too. If he does that to one more teacher, I say we start a pool.
Jane found Reed to welcome him to Fandom and then talked to Belle, which is giving me flashbacks to an amusement park for some reason. Shuns...wooey brought Columbus some sake. And Deadpool tried to shun-swooey Columbus over to the students, not realizing he was a teacher. Chuck Bass found Teacher Sam and they talked about Chuck's recovery and their living situation this summer. That guy talked to Teacher Sam, too, but apparently didn't question his qualifications. Damn. No pool. Steve found Teacher Sam and offered whatever help he needed to become a real teacher and not just a student pretending that he knows stuff. And Raven talked to Teacher Sam too because apparently he's Mister Popular Teacher this time. I never had that many people talk to me at picnics when I taught for a couple summers. But no, I'm not bitter. Come on.
Deadpool mocked Dick for his mullet instead of his name. Or he could have said he was a dick because of the mullet. Mullethead tried to pass it off as a ponytail. Damian wanted Dick to take him home, but Dick decided his name was too provocative and didn't want to get arrested. Also, he's not the Dick that Damian knows. And he--
*phone ringing*
COME ON! Fine, I'll stop it with the Dick jokes because the squirrels are being Mulletheads about it. Roy ran into Dick and they had that weird "I know a different you" thing, but at least they were both ready for it.
Deadpool tried to shun-sooey Hermione over to the students, too, but apparently she got older and is a teacher and his employee. Zoe was a better employer than Deadpool and told Hermione about Iceland. Well, that seems like a random topic of conver... Oh, the island's in Iceland? How the hell did that happen?
Anakin was happy about not having more family stop by, but Deadpool teased him about Wiggins. Seriously, that name. It's like something you'd name a little, fluffy puppy. I should get a Wiggins for my act and pull him out of a hat. People will expect a rabbit, but instead they'll get a Wiggins dog.... Hold on, I'm writing this down. Dick talked to Anakin since he took Ethics when he was a student and Anakin remembered him. Good for him. And Anders and Stark talked about geography as they returned to teach. Just so you know, you're in Iceland. Get the memo. Come on.
And then people just started talking to each other with no structure.
Tony had food. Jack Carter bugged him to see if he was related to a different, evil Stark, but Tony said no. Which is just what an evil liar would do. Stephanie shared food with Tony and they flirted and brought up Ender, probably to talk him into a threesome or something. Topher had a lot of food and Mercy mocked him for his food choices. Old Kate gave Topher chocolate and a reality check because there's somebody who looks just like him. Stan and Nathan had a chat about *phone static* and *phone static* and *phone static*ing your *phone static* and last but not least *****s o m u c h p h o n e s t a t i c*****.
Jim didn't care about the food and told Ariel that inanimate food sucks. Marshall helped Jim pick food and heard Jim explain that he doesn't know what the hell Canada is. Jim's my favorite student. Old Kate also welcomed Jim. Jacob ate some food and talked to New Kate about magic and crap, which isn't nearly as great as illusion. Jacob also had weirdness as Mercy talked to him about being a shifter and didn't look him in the eye and stuff like that. Then Claudia came by to see if he'd get more boys shirtless but refused to go topless herself, which is just being a tea--
*phone ringing*
Right, underage. A tea-drinking... proper young lady. Not a tease. Because me telling underage girls to take their tops off is 'wrong.'
*phone ringing* *chitters*
What do you mean you could hear the finger quotes?
Scully asked if Jacob had a new sib, so he told her about how he stole his last sibling's girlfriend and punched him when he called the girl a bad name, so no, he didn't. Caroline talked to Jacob about shirtlessness. Wiggins was smarmy according to the squirrels who defend their right to call him that. Just like I defend my right to call him "Wiggins." Tony kicked off confusion by asking if Wiggins was Ender, so Wiggins called him a drunk. Old Kate talked to Wiggins about crazy people. Nathan was smoking when Ramona came by to talk about shirtlessness and beds and stuff like that. Simon and Nathan had a very nice conversation about the old days before Nathan finally admitted that he had no clue who Simon was. Nice try, though!
Percy and Double A talked about Greek stuff. Jason and Nico talked about sibs and nakedness and people who looked like Jason. Ramona had coffee and a visit from Jacob. They talked about shirtlessness and haircuts. Topher failed to flirt with Ramona and she failed to tell him about the weird crap because it was funnier that way. Good call.
Luke was eating when Percy bugged him to see if they were related to anyone new and then they flirted and stole food. Double A talked to Luke about New York and superheroes and how Double A being a god was better than Luke being a demi-god. Well, they just talked about what they were. I'm ranking them.
Sookie - ha - talked to Mercy about crowds and awesome people. That guy talked to Sookie about Rinoa and Squall and Quistis and other names that the squirrels have to be making up.
Seriously, I think I ate Quistis cereal when I was a kid. I got the decoder ring from the box. That was Quistis, right?
*phone ringing* *chitters*
Okay, I'll move on. But I swear there was a Quistis cereal!
Roy was offended by Puck's shirtliness and monogamy until Puck explained that his girlfriend was really hot. Toby stared at the food and Bod told him that food was a big thing in Fandom. Unlike hookers. And topless adult women. That's my commentary, don't bother calling. Old Kate gave Dave chocolate and he promised to be nice. Boy Sam and Mercy talked about why they're in Fandom. That guy and Raven caught up because apparently they know each other from a world with more people with names the squirrels make up. Jocelyn talked to Faramir and they bonded over being from weird worlds that aren't normal and her tattoos. Carolyn made Jocelyn mad by thinking tattoos were tattoos, then freaked out by telling her she was a vampire. And Wesley figured out how to ask about the tattoos without making her mad. Now I'm wondering what they look like. There's probably a dragon on there. Maybe holding a heart with "Mom" written on it.
Caroline told Mercy more about Fandom. Claudia and Jack realized they had a friend in common and that friend banged her in some future and she got a visit from the kid that came from that the last time that happened in Fandom. Old Kate gave Jack chocolate, too.
Karla thought she knew That guy. Rinoa did know That guy. And Squall hates that guy. FIght. Fight. Fight.
*phone ringing* *chitters*
Oh, right, in the past.
Bobby D told Angelica about how great Fandom is because she looked lost. Faramir told her that everyone's friendly and helpful. Jocelyn suggested to Angelica that the vikings were a prank. And Billy and Angelica tried to figure out what reality is.
Caroline convinced Bobby McC to stop eating and take off his shirt. Wiggins charmed Annie and told her not to sweat the weird stuff. Boy Sam and Annie compared stories about the weirdness they've heard about. And Old Kate tracked Annie down to give her chocolate.
Billy and Boy Sam talked about food and superheroes and scary crap. Tony told Billy about Iceland and the radio. Hi, Billy. Just so you know, I'm probably not your dad. But I could be. Say hi to your mom from GOB!
*phone ringing* *chitters*
Fine. The squirrels want me to announce that I don't know who the hell Billy's mom is and she's from a different universe than me and I've never slept with her so I'm definitely not his dad.
....
But if any of it is true, it's between me and Billy's mom.
*phone ringing*
Let's just let that go to voicemail too.... And okay. Billy and Bobby D were foodies. Bobby McC tried to convince Jason that there was a girl who looked like them, which is the weirdest prank I've heard in a while. Lindsay and Topher talked about how this isn't a normal prep school. Double A talked to Tony about Captain America and the future.
Jocelyn and Boy Sam talked about the stories they'd heard and powers. Freddie was convinced Lion-o was a Furry. Ramona and Nathan had a little spat about him leaving in a few days. Old Kate and Bod talked about the third floor. Karla and Surreal bonded over being from the same world. And Old Kate gave Surreal chocolate.
Puck went with the classy jacket on, shirt off look, and found an admirer in Girl Sam.
*phone ringing* *chitters*
I'm not mocking him! I use that look in my act sometimes. Sometimes I still wear a tie, too. Angelica was really awkward at Puck because of the shirtlessnes. And Surreal had the opposite problem and whistled at him. Rinoa found Sookie, ha, and told her that she broke up with Squall. Karla talked to Raven about Jono leaving Fandom without warning and her new sibling, Surreal. Bobby McC talked to Old Kate about his new sibling, but she was a little too focused on the fact that Caroline made him take his shirt off. Karla caught Jocelyn and was confused because she looks like someone else I've never met, but they said hi and everything. Rinoa and Squall looked at each other but didn't talk. Caroline tried to get Jack McC to take his shirt off by telling him that she got his little brother's shirt off, which doesn't work when I try it with sisters and it didn't work for Caroline. And Toby didn't feel good, so he ended up with Karla trying to make him feel better. With her top on.
That's it. Goodbye, Fandom! I'm going to go get a few shots in me before a Mother's Day brunch. Happy Mother's Day to any mothers out there except for mine.
*music starts again as GOB hangs up*
We're leaving together
But still it's farewell
And maybe we'll come back
To earth, who can tell?
I guess there is no one to blame
We're leaving ground
Will things ever be the same again?
It's the final countdown
The final countdown
no subject
[<3!]
no subject