Spidey: GOOD EVENIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING FANDOM! Welcome to the Zombie and Spidey show. I'm Spidey...

Jonah: Braaaaiiiiins.

Spidey: And that's J. Jonah Jameson. The J stands for Zombie. As it turns out, zombies aren't good spellers, who knew?

Jonah: Rrraargh.

Spidey: Well, of course you knew, Jonah. You are a zombie. And because of that, it was decided that he can't really do the news his normal way tonight since the written and spoken word escape him at the moment. So pretend that this is one of those wacky political talk shows where one host speaks for the good people who are just trying to survive in a world gone cuckoo and the other is an undead monster who's committed unspeakable actions and smells. I'll leave it to the listeners to decide which one is which party.

Jonah: GRRAARGH!

Spidey: Well said, Jonah. Okay, let's get on with the news. Our lead story tonight just in case you weren't listening to the special radio broadcast earlier, I Can't Believe He's Vice Principal Deadpool reported that things are looking up in the war against the zombie plague.

Jonah: NEEEEARGH!

Spidey: Don't get angry, Picklepuss. Get cured somehow.

( Spider-Man's used to villains who wanna eat his brains, you know. )