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fandom_radio2011-02-13 10:04 am
nosefullofsnot.livejournal.com) wrote in fandom_radio2011-02-13 10:04 am
Fandom Radio, Sunday, February 13th
I don't do kid's movies. Arnold, Vin Diesel, and The Rock can all bite me because I'm not pandering to the kids like they all tried to do. Got that? Good.
Top Story
There was a bigass portal in the park yesterday morning and a bunch of kids came through it. Most of the kids didn't give their names then so the squirrels on the scene had no clue who they were, so I'm going to make names up until later. Binky wanted to explore but her brother, Eduardo, was lame and wanted to sit around in a park until that portal reopened. Way to be anti-fun, kid. Kayla and Jaenelle talked about how the second one was here before and they're in the past and you too, good buzzkill. Take the mystery out of it, why don't you? Kayla talked to Elizabeth about attending high school - way too early for that. And Kayla's brother, let's call him Paddington, wanted cookies and somebody named Henry. A couple winged kids - Hewie and Dewey - met up with a kid on foot, Louise. And also there was a whole crapload of other kids. And then they all went to scare their teenage parents into not having sex for two days or so. The End.
Wait, there's news outside of that, isn't there? Fine.
School
Seriously? Bro. Blackagar. Lay off the weekend library thing. You know what happens when you don't? Medusalith brings you your child. That'll show you. Then Ender spent some time over by Special Collections.
And in Anakin's office, the Skywalker family found a kid named Christopher taking crap apart.
Dorms
Okay, I'm not normally a teamwork kind of guy, unless that team is my stunt team while I'm off in my trailer doing all kinds of things that the kids shouldn't hear about - like drugs, women, crunches, or playing video games that are rated M that they can't play, the little losers - but we're about to bond, me and everyone listening to this. So let's just do it.
Jaime's kid Sophia woke him up demanding pancakes. Ender was doing whatever Enders do and Olhado showed up and was small, probably since he's a kid or something. Ben stopped by to marvel at the thought of Ender marrying some chick when a little girl interrupted them. And then another girl just pounded at the door, being a jerk with no regard for noise limits. Good for her.
Goose had two kids shift the blame for their being there. Wesley tried slumming it in sweatpants, but his daughter with some lawyer chick interrupted to call him a future drunk. His drinking problem probably started today.
Bobby and Sookie were probably basking in the glow of teenage sex - the kind that happens before she eventually crushes his heart forever - when Henry barged in looking for food and, apparently, mental scars that will last a lifetime if he walked in on what I'm saying he walked in on. Then Dahlia showed up to confuse Sookie with her three last names.
Puck and Quinn woke up together and Quinn tried to kick him out of bed before their daughter showed up. That'll show them. Katniss was being quiet in her room and was surprised when her daughter with Wesley ruined her morning by existing even though it was impossible. Then Alex, her son with Luke, showed up to be curious and probably ruin things even more for her. Then Wesley brought his lawyer kid with him to Katniss where and his two daughters didn't hit it off. THey may have hit each other. I don't know for sure. And Firekeeper was a good friend and told Katniss that these things happened.
Ben and Tahiri were interrupted by a little girl. Kennedy and Tara were interrupted by two kids. And Bruce was interrupted by some kid who wasn't even his breaking in instead of just knocking. Then his actual kid, Bruce - creative name there - stopped by and wanted a tour and a girl, Melinda, couldn't understand alternate universes because her dad is a tool who thinks a kid can understand alternate universes.
Jono tried to sleep in, but he was interrupted by his daughter, Elizabeth and her mom, Raven, teleporting into the room. George Lass was confused, then the kid started calling her Aunt George which you gotta admit just sounds weird. And then George had to deal with her daughter with Jono.
Percy and Luke were basking when their little girl, Anna started pounding on the door. Then their sone with Nico, Ethan, teleported in to make them laugh.
Nico woke Jason up by falling on the floor, then their girl, JJ, showed up looking for hugs. Kate and Nathan woke up before being interrupted by Kate and Bod's child, then Nathan left, and Kate called Bod, who still hasn't gone evil as far as I know. Come on, give in to the dark side or whatever. Medusalith had her morning spoiled by the kid she ended up bringing to the library. And Caroline was freaked out by her kid with Nathan who tried convincing her parents that you spell Kiva with a C, O, M, H, and other letters that aren't in the name Kiva.
Karla and Warren woke up together and had three kids show up, but one of them was Ben's and they argued about pizza. Henry stopped by and met the other kids, then Elizabeth stopped by to visit only one of the kids, and then Rook teleported in to find her mom and step-dad and also show off how all the kids can teleport these days. USE THE DOOR. That way I can make sure nobody gets into my house.
Momoko was folding laundry when one kid, Elena, barged in to tell Momoko about other kids, and if would be great if she was just making those other kids up to freak her mom out. Tempest interrupted Squall morning of doing nothing, so Squall took him to see Rinoa, who was sleeping in her room before being interrupted by Sylvie, her daughter. Oh, and hilariously, Tempest isn't Rinoa's kid and Sylvie isn't Squall's. I'm only laughing because I'm evil. Check the trivia section of my IMDb entry if you don't believe it.
Alex and Effy were planning on sleeping in, but their daughter, Adele, kept knocking. Ellie had two kids stop by and one of them was Puck's, who also stopped by. Cassidy had one kid. And while Alexander was making omelettes in the third floor common room, a little girl with the great crappy metal band name of Malaxandra came by to freak her dad out.
Okay, that's all for to... What? There's more? Stupid kids. FINE. Let's keep going.
In the afternoon, K-Mart had two kids in her room. In the evening, Claudia was spending time with her boy, Stanley, who refused to tell her anything about the future. Quinn and Beth stopped in and the kids talked about fish because what else are they going to talk about? Peter stopped by to brag about not having any kids, but Claudia pointed out that he might be shooting blanks and OOOOOOOH somebody needs a trip to the burn ward.
Back to the third floor in the evening, Eloise was beating Wesley at Scrabble. Malaxandra called Eloise a cheater, then they started arguing about narrow heads. Malaxandra and Des wondered if they didn't remember each other because something stole their memories because they're stupid kids. Eloise tried to get Rue to join them at Scrabble, but Rue thought the game was boring. Bobby and Henry showed up to order pizza and have Eloise call pizza undignified because kids don't understand anything good. Henry tried to convince Bobby that they should have popcorn and creamsicles because apparently he wants to be throwing up his dinner, especially after he had coffee earlier.
Des turned out to be Bobby and Kennedy's son. Kennedy came in with her two kids, who argued with Eloise. Henry just kind of rambled on to Kennedy, probably because he was still hopped up on coffee. Malaxandra asked Kennedy about her mother. Des got cookies from Wesley, then got into an argument with Eloise about the pizza monster.
Peter didn't realize what was up with all the children yet, so he got a lesson from Eloise and Wesley. Terry ran in and asked if there was anything interesting going on, so Malaxandra punched him a lot and called him her boyfriend. Just go evil now, kid. Eloise told Terry about everyone in the room. Henry told Terry about the pizza which I'm pretty sure didn't try to eat anyone.
And that's all from... You've got to be shitting me. Fine, let's keep going!
Town
Jaina had something pawing at the door to her apartment. Turns out it was her son named Chak. Sounds like somebody who'd be in the band Malaxandra. Sherlock was a bad parent when his daughter turned up, but she conned John Watson into parenting while Sherlock left.
Cally and her dog were out jogging when she was caught by a couple of kids. Andros was running through the preserve when he found his daughter, Tahlia. Robin and Fraser found their son, BJ, in the kitchen, and he told them about how their other kid had measles at hockey camp so screw him. And Sean woke up to the sound of unexpected chatter, too.
Jane was hungover at Turtle & Canary while Apu was playing with toys. That's how I'm saying it, yeah. Melinda bugged Jane about where she was despite the hangover. Nice going, kid.
Vimes had a baby with him at the Trooper Station and it was a hotbed of lost kids, including Mei, Melinda, and Bobina, whose name doesn't follow the pattern at all.
Robin the Frog had comics at the Android's Dungeon. Claudia was at J,GoB when he dorky kid named Stan flailed his way to her. Kyle was doing some work in the junkyard when his son, John, introduced himself.
Scully was screwing around with her laptop at the park in the afternoon. Her son, William, showed up chasing ducks, then got attacked by a flamingo. Della stopped over to ask Scully for information, which ended up with Scully calling Karla, who teleported in to pick up Della, her daughter. Bruce came by with his two kids and left Melinda with Scully since she was hers.
At the Perk, Emma was drinking coffee without any kids around for the moment. Beren asked Emma for coffee and she gave it to him after finding out who his mom was. Melody came by to insult coffee. Annika surprised Emma by showing up. Brooker was a pain in her ass and told her she was his grandma. Elizabeth asked Emma to teach her telepathy, and then nearly rumbled with Brooker before Cable interrupted and Emma snapped at him. Did they fight next?
Dahlia stopped by to meet another of her moms. Sarah bugged Emma about where her father was, and Brooker stopped by Sarah to talk about her dad. Emma threatened to spank Desmond, then told Henry that coffee would stunt his growth. She also gave William a muffin that I guess ended up with him getting attacked by the flamingo. Leda was brooding in the shop and Jenny was drinking tea until James started crying at her.
That has to be it, right? No? Oh hey, just the bar left. Which reminds me, someone get me some rum!
Caritas. Jaina was there with her son who wanted to play bartender, too. Chak tended bar and agreed to be his mother's Valentine. Brooker ordered from Chak and they talked about the school and aliens. Terry got some chocolate milk from Chak and they compared two groups I've never heard of and don't care about because my team is better than them and our uniforms are way better. Chinstrap beards. Ladies love them. Terry and Brooker started off arguing and ended up almost fighting, but Terry disappeared while throwing the first punch. And Tahiri brought King in to bond with Jaina and Chak.
That's finally it? Great. I'm going to steal some rum, make a few phone calls, and go half-Charlie Sheen in my house while you're all dealing with your kids. Any women out there without kids want to join me, call first so I know you're coming alone. Or at least without kids.
Top Story
There was a bigass portal in the park yesterday morning and a bunch of kids came through it. Most of the kids didn't give their names then so the squirrels on the scene had no clue who they were, so I'm going to make names up until later. Binky wanted to explore but her brother, Eduardo, was lame and wanted to sit around in a park until that portal reopened. Way to be anti-fun, kid. Kayla and Jaenelle talked about how the second one was here before and they're in the past and you too, good buzzkill. Take the mystery out of it, why don't you? Kayla talked to Elizabeth about attending high school - way too early for that. And Kayla's brother, let's call him Paddington, wanted cookies and somebody named Henry. A couple winged kids - Hewie and Dewey - met up with a kid on foot, Louise. And also there was a whole crapload of other kids. And then they all went to scare their teenage parents into not having sex for two days or so. The End.
Wait, there's news outside of that, isn't there? Fine.
School
Seriously? Bro. Blackagar. Lay off the weekend library thing. You know what happens when you don't? Medusalith brings you your child. That'll show you. Then Ender spent some time over by Special Collections.
And in Anakin's office, the Skywalker family found a kid named Christopher taking crap apart.
Dorms
Okay, I'm not normally a teamwork kind of guy, unless that team is my stunt team while I'm off in my trailer doing all kinds of things that the kids shouldn't hear about - like drugs, women, crunches, or playing video games that are rated M that they can't play, the little losers - but we're about to bond, me and everyone listening to this. So let's just do it.
Jaime's kid Sophia woke him up demanding pancakes. Ender was doing whatever Enders do and Olhado showed up and was small, probably since he's a kid or something. Ben stopped by to marvel at the thought of Ender marrying some chick when a little girl interrupted them. And then another girl just pounded at the door, being a jerk with no regard for noise limits. Good for her.
Goose had two kids shift the blame for their being there. Wesley tried slumming it in sweatpants, but his daughter with some lawyer chick interrupted to call him a future drunk. His drinking problem probably started today.
Bobby and Sookie were probably basking in the glow of teenage sex - the kind that happens before she eventually crushes his heart forever - when Henry barged in looking for food and, apparently, mental scars that will last a lifetime if he walked in on what I'm saying he walked in on. Then Dahlia showed up to confuse Sookie with her three last names.
Puck and Quinn woke up together and Quinn tried to kick him out of bed before their daughter showed up. That'll show them. Katniss was being quiet in her room and was surprised when her daughter with Wesley ruined her morning by existing even though it was impossible. Then Alex, her son with Luke, showed up to be curious and probably ruin things even more for her. Then Wesley brought his lawyer kid with him to Katniss where and his two daughters didn't hit it off. THey may have hit each other. I don't know for sure. And Firekeeper was a good friend and told Katniss that these things happened.
Ben and Tahiri were interrupted by a little girl. Kennedy and Tara were interrupted by two kids. And Bruce was interrupted by some kid who wasn't even his breaking in instead of just knocking. Then his actual kid, Bruce - creative name there - stopped by and wanted a tour and a girl, Melinda, couldn't understand alternate universes because her dad is a tool who thinks a kid can understand alternate universes.
Jono tried to sleep in, but he was interrupted by his daughter, Elizabeth and her mom, Raven, teleporting into the room. George Lass was confused, then the kid started calling her Aunt George which you gotta admit just sounds weird. And then George had to deal with her daughter with Jono.
Percy and Luke were basking when their little girl, Anna started pounding on the door. Then their sone with Nico, Ethan, teleported in to make them laugh.
Nico woke Jason up by falling on the floor, then their girl, JJ, showed up looking for hugs. Kate and Nathan woke up before being interrupted by Kate and Bod's child, then Nathan left, and Kate called Bod, who still hasn't gone evil as far as I know. Come on, give in to the dark side or whatever. Medusalith had her morning spoiled by the kid she ended up bringing to the library. And Caroline was freaked out by her kid with Nathan who tried convincing her parents that you spell Kiva with a C, O, M, H, and other letters that aren't in the name Kiva.
Karla and Warren woke up together and had three kids show up, but one of them was Ben's and they argued about pizza. Henry stopped by and met the other kids, then Elizabeth stopped by to visit only one of the kids, and then Rook teleported in to find her mom and step-dad and also show off how all the kids can teleport these days. USE THE DOOR. That way I can make sure nobody gets into my house.
Momoko was folding laundry when one kid, Elena, barged in to tell Momoko about other kids, and if would be great if she was just making those other kids up to freak her mom out. Tempest interrupted Squall morning of doing nothing, so Squall took him to see Rinoa, who was sleeping in her room before being interrupted by Sylvie, her daughter. Oh, and hilariously, Tempest isn't Rinoa's kid and Sylvie isn't Squall's. I'm only laughing because I'm evil. Check the trivia section of my IMDb entry if you don't believe it.
Alex and Effy were planning on sleeping in, but their daughter, Adele, kept knocking. Ellie had two kids stop by and one of them was Puck's, who also stopped by. Cassidy had one kid. And while Alexander was making omelettes in the third floor common room, a little girl with the great crappy metal band name of Malaxandra came by to freak her dad out.
Okay, that's all for to... What? There's more? Stupid kids. FINE. Let's keep going.
In the afternoon, K-Mart had two kids in her room. In the evening, Claudia was spending time with her boy, Stanley, who refused to tell her anything about the future. Quinn and Beth stopped in and the kids talked about fish because what else are they going to talk about? Peter stopped by to brag about not having any kids, but Claudia pointed out that he might be shooting blanks and OOOOOOOH somebody needs a trip to the burn ward.
Back to the third floor in the evening, Eloise was beating Wesley at Scrabble. Malaxandra called Eloise a cheater, then they started arguing about narrow heads. Malaxandra and Des wondered if they didn't remember each other because something stole their memories because they're stupid kids. Eloise tried to get Rue to join them at Scrabble, but Rue thought the game was boring. Bobby and Henry showed up to order pizza and have Eloise call pizza undignified because kids don't understand anything good. Henry tried to convince Bobby that they should have popcorn and creamsicles because apparently he wants to be throwing up his dinner, especially after he had coffee earlier.
Des turned out to be Bobby and Kennedy's son. Kennedy came in with her two kids, who argued with Eloise. Henry just kind of rambled on to Kennedy, probably because he was still hopped up on coffee. Malaxandra asked Kennedy about her mother. Des got cookies from Wesley, then got into an argument with Eloise about the pizza monster.
Peter didn't realize what was up with all the children yet, so he got a lesson from Eloise and Wesley. Terry ran in and asked if there was anything interesting going on, so Malaxandra punched him a lot and called him her boyfriend. Just go evil now, kid. Eloise told Terry about everyone in the room. Henry told Terry about the pizza which I'm pretty sure didn't try to eat anyone.
And that's all from... You've got to be shitting me. Fine, let's keep going!
Town
Jaina had something pawing at the door to her apartment. Turns out it was her son named Chak. Sounds like somebody who'd be in the band Malaxandra. Sherlock was a bad parent when his daughter turned up, but she conned John Watson into parenting while Sherlock left.
Cally and her dog were out jogging when she was caught by a couple of kids. Andros was running through the preserve when he found his daughter, Tahlia. Robin and Fraser found their son, BJ, in the kitchen, and he told them about how their other kid had measles at hockey camp so screw him. And Sean woke up to the sound of unexpected chatter, too.
Jane was hungover at Turtle & Canary while Apu was playing with toys. That's how I'm saying it, yeah. Melinda bugged Jane about where she was despite the hangover. Nice going, kid.
Vimes had a baby with him at the Trooper Station and it was a hotbed of lost kids, including Mei, Melinda, and Bobina, whose name doesn't follow the pattern at all.
Robin the Frog had comics at the Android's Dungeon. Claudia was at J,GoB when he dorky kid named Stan flailed his way to her. Kyle was doing some work in the junkyard when his son, John, introduced himself.
Scully was screwing around with her laptop at the park in the afternoon. Her son, William, showed up chasing ducks, then got attacked by a flamingo. Della stopped over to ask Scully for information, which ended up with Scully calling Karla, who teleported in to pick up Della, her daughter. Bruce came by with his two kids and left Melinda with Scully since she was hers.
At the Perk, Emma was drinking coffee without any kids around for the moment. Beren asked Emma for coffee and she gave it to him after finding out who his mom was. Melody came by to insult coffee. Annika surprised Emma by showing up. Brooker was a pain in her ass and told her she was his grandma. Elizabeth asked Emma to teach her telepathy, and then nearly rumbled with Brooker before Cable interrupted and Emma snapped at him. Did they fight next?
Dahlia stopped by to meet another of her moms. Sarah bugged Emma about where her father was, and Brooker stopped by Sarah to talk about her dad. Emma threatened to spank Desmond, then told Henry that coffee would stunt his growth. She also gave William a muffin that I guess ended up with him getting attacked by the flamingo. Leda was brooding in the shop and Jenny was drinking tea until James started crying at her.
That has to be it, right? No? Oh hey, just the bar left. Which reminds me, someone get me some rum!
Caritas. Jaina was there with her son who wanted to play bartender, too. Chak tended bar and agreed to be his mother's Valentine. Brooker ordered from Chak and they talked about the school and aliens. Terry got some chocolate milk from Chak and they compared two groups I've never heard of and don't care about because my team is better than them and our uniforms are way better. Chinstrap beards. Ladies love them. Terry and Brooker started off arguing and ended up almost fighting, but Terry disappeared while throwing the first punch. And Tahiri brought King in to bond with Jaina and Chak.
That's finally it? Great. I'm going to steal some rum, make a few phone calls, and go half-Charlie Sheen in my house while you're all dealing with your kids. Any women out there without kids want to join me, call first so I know you're coming alone. Or at least without kids.