Fandom High Radio, Friday, February 26th

[bitchprince]

Ender: So ice cream attracts squirrels. Who'd have known?

Ben: Maybe it's just here. I've never had a problem back in Fandom. Ow! No hitting, squirrel! I'll take the kriffing notes. How did you even get the radio equipment down--you know, I don't want to know. Let's just get this done fast, okay?

Ender: In Fandom, the radio broadcasters aren't generally in Wales... uh. Good evening, everyone. Looks like Ben and I have been drafted to bring you the news again.


Fandom!

Ben: Back in Fandom, where the day wasn't spent getting tan or eating ice cream, poor you, John Price was cleaning his weapon at the Wellspring Arms, which seems like a sensible place to do that sort of thing, Lily was doing an inventory check at Strokes of Genius, and Kris dealt with chickens and horses at the Gig. There are chickens at the Gig now? Can you ride them?

Ender: Probably not, unless one of the students imported one. Don't get your hopes up.

Ben:Well, maybe if we all shrink down in size. Squishing regular sized chickens would just be cruel. Anyway, Arya was working on a new display at Coyote Medicine, and Tino was all alone at Caritas. Dimitri wasn't alone at Fast Eddie's, though. I think most of the people who were still on the island tonight stopped by to say hello and interrupt his hockey watching and pool playing. I normally just bowl there. Aren't you fascinated to learn that?

Ender: I think this is where I say 'no, not in the slightest'.

Ben:Adrian stopped by because Dimitri had invited him, even though he's never played pool, and Tully and Dimitri introduced themselves. Shelley warned Dimitri that she was going to wipe the floor with him at pool, but at least she wasn't getting paid off by Adrian like Kyle Katarn was to do it? Shelley met Tully--hey, that almost rhymes!--and Adrian, which doesn't. Fred wasn't surprised to learn that Dimitri is a natural at pool, but was surprised to learn that Tully is still working on renovations to the lighthouse. Fred and Adrian also exchange nods, which is a nice, short, taciturn form of greeting. Kyle Katarn--sorry, I can't say his name any other way--was at Fast Eddie's for the arcade games, but changed his mind when he saw everyone else was playing pool. He finds out that Tully's greatest enemy has been gremlin bit. I didn't think Granddad knew Tully. Wonder which bite he saw...

Ender: Be careful. You're going to prompt the squirrels to keep up a list.

Ben: Bet it'd be a loooooong one. After a bit of verbal jousting about hockey in Canada and Russia, Alysha and Dimitri talk about what Dimitri's duties toward Adrian entail. I'm pretty sure I don't want to spend too much time thinking about this, and since I don't know any of these people, let's just move on. Alysha talks about curling--that sport I know! Bobby tried to explain it. It sounds like watching paint dry!--with Tully, and then flirts with Adrian. I bet that doesn't fall into Dimitri's duties.

Ender: That would be sexual intimidation.

The Bahamas

Ender: Moving on to Bahamas news... Kennedy left a present behind for Tara, while Jack Priest abused the hotel's amenities as much as humanely possible. Which is a pretty human response, considering where we are. Alex's the first in line down on the beach today, and the squirrel insists I mention 'with his painted nails'. Emma decided to ask after Kennedy's mood by throwing things at her - something I assume didn't improve it. Despite her mood, though, Kennedy did tell Sookie she was hoping to sweet talk somebody into staying.

I'm not sure it works that way. I'm also not sure we'd be able to do that without Ben finally eating his weight in ice cream.

Ben: HEY.

Ender: You're denying that now? Emmett and Didi talked about the book Emmett was reading down at the beach. Sookie followed the many by sunbathing. Alex made fun of Emma reading on the beach - which is a perfectly ordinary hobby. Especially during vacations.

Ben: I think it depends on what you're reading. I've seen a lot of spy novels and romances, and not a lot of military treatises.

Ender: We have a pretty wide range here, though. Karla slept off an ice cream hangover on the beach until Leto showed up. See, that's what you get. Leto joined the sunbathing masses, while Puck abused our bikini-clad masses by making pictures. Be careful around Puck. Ino and Liir kept each other distracted from the sunbathing by having a conversation, Rose and Jaina abused the spa facilities. Hope you guys had fun. And then Ben decided to try and see if he could overfeed Tahiri, Karla and me and maybe give us an ice cream headache...

Ben: The Vermonster was astral, don't try to deny it.

Ender: I'm denying it loud and clear, Skywalker.

For the more adventurous among us...

Ender: A few made it down to Dolphin Cay to pal around with the dolphins. Helen and Hinata discussed dolphin language, while Mat and Aravis took the creative approach by trying to buy themselves a sea lion. I'm not sure that worked. Robin, too, wanted to know about dolphin language and talked to Hoshi about it. Elsewhere, Summer had a SNUBA lesson, although I haven't tried that one out myself. I can't tell you much.

Ben: SNUBA is a word? Really?

Ender: Says so right here.

Ben: But it was written by a squirrel. Ow! Stop that!

Ender: Insulting the squirrels is never going to help your cause. The marine habitat also got a lot of visitors, such as Kate and Bod who talked about snakes, and Morgana and Jacob who fed the stingrays. Finally, Kate, Hannibal and Ellie went down to the water park, and presumably had fun.

Ben: It's a water park. It's kind of hard not to have fun.

Ender: Hence how I've used the word 'presumably'.

Ben: Plus, it probably would've been noted if one of them had gotten eaten or something.

Ender: You never know. Moving on.

At night..

Ender: Tara and Kennedy had a quiet night alone with each other. Aura Nightclub brought in some visitors, although Harper wasn't allowed past the bouncer. Rose and Emma didn't have that problem. I wonder why... My roommate managed to score a phone number and a drink all over him. I'm sure I'll hear about it later.

Ben: Tough break, Zayne.

Ender: Cain at the Cove was available for the adults. Hannibal threw himself at the drinks. He talked to Puck about how easy the Fandom classes are.

You have no idea.

Ben: If you start speaking in half-sentences and superior looks, Karla will never stop hitting you. Fair warning.

Ender: If I did that, it wouldn't exactly get my point across with either of you. Which would be a waste of my time and yours.

Ben: Plus make for a really useless radio broadcast.

Ender: So I'll stick with clarity for now. Robin the adult was there as well, and Ellie, and Dinah - our adult student population. Barney and Biff swapped conquest stories, building up to our own Professor Stinson claiming to have slept with a mermaid. I think we should have that fact-checked. Alex was up at the point, and I think that's pretty much it.

Ben: I have notes here that say Kate and Leto are having some private time in his room, which isn't that private now, and my grandfather and his wife are contemplating stealing a yacht for my baby aunt. What is wrong with you?

Ender: I'm pretty sure they weren't that serious. ... I'd like to think so, at least.

Ben: You teach ethics, Granddad.

Ender: Which means we're undermining your authority by reporting on that. Sorry, Anakin.

Ben: Maybe it's some elaborate midterm exam set-up. My Granddad is weird.

Ender: So be glad you're not taking Ethics. Thanks for listening, everyone. We're going to go grab some food by the beach now.

Ben: Not ice cream. I do eat other stuff too, okay?

Ender: If that's what you need to sleep at night...

*sound of Ben about to voice an indignant reply--*

*CLICK*