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fandom_radio2010-01-16 12:40 am
suit-of-awesome.livejournal.com) wrote in fandom_radio2010-01-16 12:40 am
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Fandom Radio [Friday, January 15, 2010]
Lily: Oh my god. Oh my god, I wanted to see if you'd actually do it, but you actually did it. The squirrels are wearing tiny little suits. I'm both impressed and terrified.
Barney: They're professionals. Also, I tip well.
Lily: Where do you even find suits for squirrels?
Barney: I cannot divulge that information on penalty of death.
Lily: ...You know there might be such a thing as being too hardcore about style, right?
Barney: Please, tell that to your Jimmy Choo's.
Lily: Hey. These shoes are hot.
Barney: Like I said.
SCHOOL
Barney: You know what's great, Lily? (girly voice) What Barney? I'm so glad you asked! Being the most Awesome Dean of Students and getting to report on how my minions are educating the special snowflakes of Fandom.
Lily: I don't sound like that. And can you not call them minions? I just got shivers when you said that.
Barney: I could, but it'd be less fun. Battles that Changed History lived up to its name, talking about how luck played a role in battles that tweed-wearers deem important. The lecture was enough to break the brains of even students like Mat and Claudia who decided they were familiar enough with luck and getting lucky. Oh yeah! And TAs Arthur and Mat talked about...oh God, no one caaaaares about generals screwing around unless there are hot chicks involved! Get back to the part about getting lucky! It doesn't get better when Steve-o started explaining to the German kid how a shield was deadly. Deadly boring.
Lily: Business class learned all about how to humor your boss. This is a skill that will come in handy, kids, I hope you listened close. To help them all out, Jim gave his students a list of things that are important to him, so they can better kiss his ass. Aww, that's nice of him. They talked about how sucking up mercilessly has helped them in the past, and if it hasn't happened yet, it will. Bobby was around for TA duties, while Angela Martin took time to whine at the camera, and Jim was around if anyone wanted to talk to him.
Barney: Which no one did.
Lily: Ziva led Law and Order class on how to stake out suspects sneakily.
Gibbs corrected some of her phrasing, while Max demonstrated being sneaky with him. Ooh, that sounded unintentionally dirty. The students got assignments to stalk a fellow classmate this week, which got Ben and Dinah talking. Roy was just worried about why Dinah was so banged up, and he wasn't so happy that she was training without a spotter. That sounds like gym class to me. Beka brought doughnuts as part of her TA duties, and that does not sound like gym class at all.
Barney: Mr. Dreads who actually used to teach the gym class was failing at life over in study hall with a block of cheese for company. Yes, cheese. For all her bitching earlier, Angela and also Emma had nothing better to do with their lives and chose to read or something. Dan had the internet to keep him company at the library and we'll give him points if he was looking at things the boss wouldn't approve of.
Lily: Barney, don't tell them that. If he's using a school computer, the firewall might keep all the good stuff blocked.
Barney: True, obviously this means the kid is in need of some special DVDs for the slow times. Kinda like how Tyler was playing 'video games' in his office. Uh huh. While the name 'Cindy' makes me think of tiny blondes with curls, a lisp, and an abnormal fascination with Holly Hobby, she sounds hot and it's sinful that no one stopped into this chick's office hours.
DORMS
Lily: I feel a little weird talking about students' private lives, but the suited-up squirrels have provided the notes, and better me than Barney. Kate was having emo over a boy. Poor thing. Do yourself a favor and head to the common room, get a pint of Ben and Jerry's, and that right there will start the healing process. Ben saved Jaina from a night of playing with her phone in order to ask about nailing furniture to a ceiling.
...This school is a little strange.
Barney: You sure she wasn't just playing with the silent setting?
Lily: Okay, you're not allowed to do this entire section of notes.
Barney: Hey, not my fault the girl's got an unhealthy obsession with her phone. We should direct her to Triple D's for something more appropriate. It's the Christian thing to do. Just like Support Group baking activities, even if they decided against the actual baking part of cookie construction.
Lily: There's something to be said for putting the work into something that's really really good. I'll throw a recipe your way, guys. You won't be able to match my talent, but that's okay. As long as you know that up front, it'll be fine. People showed up to mingle and not-bake, and the reserve leaders were there, probably in case anyone had questions, or not-burned themselves. Dinah asked Francine about the fuzzy bunny she was watching, and told her about her training accident. Which I now know was because there was no spotter. See, you can learn things from radio. Jacob took the time to tell Morgana she's wonderful, but it's unknown whether his opinion of her was ruined by the fact that she doesn't like marshmallows. I would really hope that wouldn't come in the way of your friendship, but I don't know your lives.
Barney: Up on the fifth floor, Bod, who sounds like some creepy stalker going on names alone, is chowing down on the Chinese food and arguing with Jen Walters about the difference between American Chinese and English Chinese. People, stop. It's all the same. Weird meat, funny music, side of rice.
Lily: It makes me miss my bachelorette pad.
Barney: You did have some really killer egg rolls.
TOWN
Barney: Okay, where are the rest of these notes?
Lily: You might want to ask your squirrel henchmen.
Barney: Guys, guys, guys, there is no slacking on the job! Especially not when you've suited up for the occasion! Bad form! *dramatical sighing*
Lily: Wow. I have never before seen a squirrel look disappointed in himself. Or herself.
Barney: Himself. The chick squirrels have the tiny little bowties.
Lily: Oh! That's a surprisingly chic look for a squirrel.
Barney: It should be for what I paid. Now, let's see, Jenny Sparks got her bookkeeping look on at Pixie Dust. Hmm. I'm hoping for glasses, bun, and really tight skirt.
Lily: She's a student.
Barney: Ooh! I think she was in my class! Hot. But I'm getting the impression the mannequins down at Things Reborn were far less hot after Harper got through with them. Meanwhile, Kris gave the horses a treat, if you know what I mean, down at the Gig.
Lily: Ewwwww. Trying to class up this broadcast a little bit, Mary was running specials at the Arms because of some golden eggs they'd received, and did you know squirrels- in addition to wearing suits- could pun? You learn something new every day. Hurley had a quiet day at the flower shop... Well, yeah. Something tells me the flowers don't get too chatty.
Barney: Reading was keeping John Price from selling guns at Wellspring Arms until Ino stopped in to share tales of how not to sell guns. They should get with Biff on this one. He's a real pro. Like Marshall's wife here, who created a new definition of chaos at Strokes of Genius. Is this a cry for help, Lily?
Lily: It was gravity's fault, not mine! Even if it did give me something to do all day and any damaged supplies miiiight not have been sellable due to this tragic act of God.
Barney: Or was it a very well-designed and elaborate sign that you should be painting portraits?
Lily: Then that's what I'll do during my shift next week and see if anything explodes. Nothing better, explode, Fandom. Over at
Coyote Medicine, Arya was organizing the store, while Mina went for the computer games at the clinic, and Damon made Tino tape up the zombie drummer at Caritas. Poor Tino. He's going to catch something doing that all the time.
Barney: We'll call him Tino, taper of zombies. Bet he gets more action than Halpert.
Lily: Maybe, but he's taping up zombies. There might be something to say about the quality of that action, and none of it good.
Barney: This from Tino's BFF's wife. You heard it here first, Fandom.
Lily: I'm probably going to have to make sure it's Marshall and not Tino serving me my drinks for a while, huh?
Barney: Only if you want swords, umbrellas, and chunks of fruit destroying perfectly good alcohol.
Lily: I think I can live with that. So does this mean we're done and the squirrels can be released from their suit-wearing duties?
Barney: So long as you don't start good night-ing each squirrel like we're the Waltons.
Lily: Let's take that as a yes. Night, listening audience!
Barney: They're professionals. Also, I tip well.
Lily: Where do you even find suits for squirrels?
Barney: I cannot divulge that information on penalty of death.
Lily: ...You know there might be such a thing as being too hardcore about style, right?
Barney: Please, tell that to your Jimmy Choo's.
Lily: Hey. These shoes are hot.
Barney: Like I said.
SCHOOL
Barney: You know what's great, Lily? (girly voice) What Barney? I'm so glad you asked! Being the most Awesome Dean of Students and getting to report on how my minions are educating the special snowflakes of Fandom.
Lily: I don't sound like that. And can you not call them minions? I just got shivers when you said that.
Barney: I could, but it'd be less fun. Battles that Changed History lived up to its name, talking about how luck played a role in battles that tweed-wearers deem important. The lecture was enough to break the brains of even students like Mat and Claudia who decided they were familiar enough with luck and getting lucky. Oh yeah! And TAs Arthur and Mat talked about...oh God, no one caaaaares about generals screwing around unless there are hot chicks involved! Get back to the part about getting lucky! It doesn't get better when Steve-o started explaining to the German kid how a shield was deadly. Deadly boring.
Lily: Business class learned all about how to humor your boss. This is a skill that will come in handy, kids, I hope you listened close. To help them all out, Jim gave his students a list of things that are important to him, so they can better kiss his ass. Aww, that's nice of him. They talked about how sucking up mercilessly has helped them in the past, and if it hasn't happened yet, it will. Bobby was around for TA duties, while Angela Martin took time to whine at the camera, and Jim was around if anyone wanted to talk to him.
Barney: Which no one did.
Lily: Ziva led Law and Order class on how to stake out suspects sneakily.
Gibbs corrected some of her phrasing, while Max demonstrated being sneaky with him. Ooh, that sounded unintentionally dirty. The students got assignments to stalk a fellow classmate this week, which got Ben and Dinah talking. Roy was just worried about why Dinah was so banged up, and he wasn't so happy that she was training without a spotter. That sounds like gym class to me. Beka brought doughnuts as part of her TA duties, and that does not sound like gym class at all.
Barney: Mr. Dreads who actually used to teach the gym class was failing at life over in study hall with a block of cheese for company. Yes, cheese. For all her bitching earlier, Angela and also Emma had nothing better to do with their lives and chose to read or something. Dan had the internet to keep him company at the library and we'll give him points if he was looking at things the boss wouldn't approve of.
Lily: Barney, don't tell them that. If he's using a school computer, the firewall might keep all the good stuff blocked.
Barney: True, obviously this means the kid is in need of some special DVDs for the slow times. Kinda like how Tyler was playing 'video games' in his office. Uh huh. While the name 'Cindy' makes me think of tiny blondes with curls, a lisp, and an abnormal fascination with Holly Hobby, she sounds hot and it's sinful that no one stopped into this chick's office hours.
DORMS
Lily: I feel a little weird talking about students' private lives, but the suited-up squirrels have provided the notes, and better me than Barney. Kate was having emo over a boy. Poor thing. Do yourself a favor and head to the common room, get a pint of Ben and Jerry's, and that right there will start the healing process. Ben saved Jaina from a night of playing with her phone in order to ask about nailing furniture to a ceiling.
...This school is a little strange.
Barney: You sure she wasn't just playing with the silent setting?
Lily: Okay, you're not allowed to do this entire section of notes.
Barney: Hey, not my fault the girl's got an unhealthy obsession with her phone. We should direct her to Triple D's for something more appropriate. It's the Christian thing to do. Just like Support Group baking activities, even if they decided against the actual baking part of cookie construction.
Lily: There's something to be said for putting the work into something that's really really good. I'll throw a recipe your way, guys. You won't be able to match my talent, but that's okay. As long as you know that up front, it'll be fine. People showed up to mingle and not-bake, and the reserve leaders were there, probably in case anyone had questions, or not-burned themselves. Dinah asked Francine about the fuzzy bunny she was watching, and told her about her training accident. Which I now know was because there was no spotter. See, you can learn things from radio. Jacob took the time to tell Morgana she's wonderful, but it's unknown whether his opinion of her was ruined by the fact that she doesn't like marshmallows. I would really hope that wouldn't come in the way of your friendship, but I don't know your lives.
Barney: Up on the fifth floor, Bod, who sounds like some creepy stalker going on names alone, is chowing down on the Chinese food and arguing with Jen Walters about the difference between American Chinese and English Chinese. People, stop. It's all the same. Weird meat, funny music, side of rice.
Lily: It makes me miss my bachelorette pad.
Barney: You did have some really killer egg rolls.
TOWN
Barney: Okay, where are the rest of these notes?
Lily: You might want to ask your squirrel henchmen.
Barney: Guys, guys, guys, there is no slacking on the job! Especially not when you've suited up for the occasion! Bad form! *dramatical sighing*
Lily: Wow. I have never before seen a squirrel look disappointed in himself. Or herself.
Barney: Himself. The chick squirrels have the tiny little bowties.
Lily: Oh! That's a surprisingly chic look for a squirrel.
Barney: It should be for what I paid. Now, let's see, Jenny Sparks got her bookkeeping look on at Pixie Dust. Hmm. I'm hoping for glasses, bun, and really tight skirt.
Lily: She's a student.
Barney: Ooh! I think she was in my class! Hot. But I'm getting the impression the mannequins down at Things Reborn were far less hot after Harper got through with them. Meanwhile, Kris gave the horses a treat, if you know what I mean, down at the Gig.
Lily: Ewwwww. Trying to class up this broadcast a little bit, Mary was running specials at the Arms because of some golden eggs they'd received, and did you know squirrels- in addition to wearing suits- could pun? You learn something new every day. Hurley had a quiet day at the flower shop... Well, yeah. Something tells me the flowers don't get too chatty.
Barney: Reading was keeping John Price from selling guns at Wellspring Arms until Ino stopped in to share tales of how not to sell guns. They should get with Biff on this one. He's a real pro. Like Marshall's wife here, who created a new definition of chaos at Strokes of Genius. Is this a cry for help, Lily?
Lily: It was gravity's fault, not mine! Even if it did give me something to do all day and any damaged supplies miiiight not have been sellable due to this tragic act of God.
Barney: Or was it a very well-designed and elaborate sign that you should be painting portraits?
Lily: Then that's what I'll do during my shift next week and see if anything explodes. Nothing better, explode, Fandom. Over at
Coyote Medicine, Arya was organizing the store, while Mina went for the computer games at the clinic, and Damon made Tino tape up the zombie drummer at Caritas. Poor Tino. He's going to catch something doing that all the time.
Barney: We'll call him Tino, taper of zombies. Bet he gets more action than Halpert.
Lily: Maybe, but he's taping up zombies. There might be something to say about the quality of that action, and none of it good.
Barney: This from Tino's BFF's wife. You heard it here first, Fandom.
Lily: I'm probably going to have to make sure it's Marshall and not Tino serving me my drinks for a while, huh?
Barney: Only if you want swords, umbrellas, and chunks of fruit destroying perfectly good alcohol.
Lily: I think I can live with that. So does this mean we're done and the squirrels can be released from their suit-wearing duties?
Barney: So long as you don't start good night-ing each squirrel like we're the Waltons.
Lily: Let's take that as a yes. Night, listening audience!