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fandom_radio2009-12-07 12:48 am
eternalstud.livejournal.com) wrote in fandom_radio2009-12-07 12:48 am
Fandom Radio; Sunday; December 6th, 2009
Damon: I've always wanted to be a radio star.
Stefan the puppet who is really Damon with a lower voice: That's not true. There were a few years where you didn't even know what a radio was.
Damon: Must you be so literal all the time, Stefan?
Stefan: I'm just stating fact.
Damon: Yeah, whatever. Don't eat the squirrels. It's disgusting.
School
Damon: There's nothing. School's lame anyways.
Stefan: That's not true! I believe a good education is a diving board for a happy life.
Damon: My god, what episode of Sesame Street did you get that from? I swear, if it weren't for your broody dark looks...
Dorms
Stefan: Kate was comatose. Oh no! That's terrible! A mean girl named Dierdre used Kate's coma to stash things in her room and Yakko turned it to use the Wheel of Morality. Let's hope it morally helps Kate out of a coma! Hannibal tried to bite Kate but ended up fleeing.
Damon: What a wuss.
Stefan: No, Damon, he did the right thing! He must be as tortured as I am. Jean came by to talk about her possibly baby daddies. Wow. I don't want to say anything bad about a lady but...you're a whore. Beka shocked Hayley with her return, Lion-o is locked in a closet, Ender spazzed out to Triela about Ben and Clark woke up in labor. Isn't Clark a boy's name?
Damon: That one chick from Top Model was named Clark.
Stefan: ...
Damon: Yeah, I watch. Shut up. On the roof, Leda was being mysterious. Join the club. Jacques is ominous and flirty with her. 'Kay. Behind the dorms today, Jono was giving a shirtless concert. Like you do. There was mingling and the actual concert. Apparently Jono develops something called the Legacy Virus mid-show. I have no idea what that is.
Stefan: If it means your soul is dying a little day by day because of the guilt over the horrific things you and your brother have done over the past hundred years then I too have the Legacy virus!
Damon: Stefan! Stop speaking of such things! I don't know what I'd do if I lost you.
Stefan: *sniff* I'm so sorry, Damon.
Damon: That's better. Beka had a confrontation with Jono because he's apparently an old ex. Oh I know how that is. Jean tells Jono that not only is she dying, but she's pregnant with his baby. I don't know how that is. Jono could see Jaye's ghost because she's apparently his one true love. She ends up passing from this world.
Stefan: Oh that's so sad! It's just like that show with Jennifer Love Hewitt!
Damon: ...
Stefan: If you get Top Model, then I'm allowed to have this.
Damon: Fair enough. Deirdre takes the news of Jono dying as a sign that they should have a child. Apparently right that second. Wow. Tomoko offers to be a roadie for Jono but points out she's deaf. Ah. Elena wants to know if Jono lives up to his hype, which leads to some bow chicka wow wow.
Stefan: But, Damon, he's already impregnated Jean and is planning to impregnate Deirdre! That's surely too many women!
Damon: Too many for you, maybe. There was a clinic on the first floor, which is good considering all the pregnancies. Dr. Lily was on call and apparently GOB requested her specifically. Because he has seasonal allergies. Griff brought Alex cookies and showed him a burn on his hand, which is an emergency these days, because they go to an exam room. Martin demands to know why his wife is in a coma and Alex points out that assaulting her attending physician probably won't help anything. Ben needed a doctor who didn't kill patients and lists off his symptoms of nose cancer. Gross! Ellie tries and fails to find her babydaddy and Hoshi comes in for a pregnancy test. It's too late for a pregnancy test for Clark because he came in with his assbaby, fresh from the toilet...
Stefan: Did you say assbaby?
Damon: It's right here in the notes. Assbaby. Baby of the ass. A buttinfant, if you will.
Stefan: Oh dear lord. Thankfully for Clark and the assbaby, there were exam rooms where these things could be taken care of privately. Well not so privately since I'm about to share all the details on air. Jean was crying about both her brain injury and her pregnancy. Mirax has amnesia but apparently knows about herself to know it's okay to make out with a doctor. Angela Chase was still in an emocoma and got checked on by both doctors and her husband, Martin.Sokka and Robin both have brain issues, and I mean that in a totally non-insulting way. Griff is gay! Alex is bi! They confessed their love for each other and made out.
Damon: *sighs*
Stefan: Damon, no! It's wrong!
Damon: Father Ned said it was okay if the two people loved each other!
Stefan: I refuse to listen to you speak of this any longer! I swear I'll leave!
Damon: Stefan, no! Come back! I'm sorry, I won't mention it again.
Stefan: Very well. I will continue with my note reading. GOB has ovarian cysts and Dr. Lily only gave him a short time frame to live. At least you can die! Clark was in an exam room with Alex and Clark's, um, assbaby.
Damon: That will never be right.
Stefan: For once we agree. Dr. Lily came in to check in on the assbaby's heart and Meg, the babymomma--sorry, babydaddy--came in to check up on Clark and to name the assbaby Picklesteak Mambazo. Okay then. And Hoshi is not only pregnant, but hearing voices too. Man, I'm glad we're relatively normal. I mean, normal for us.
Damon: Seriously.
Town
Stefan: In what I will call the Arms Hotel drama, Gwynn comforts her girlfriend Eve over Savannah's condition. Johnny begs Savannah to wake up, and when she doesn't, he has sexual relations with Sean. And then Savannah wakes up.
Damon: Whoops!
Stefan: That's more than a whoops, Damon. Savannah goes to Eve and Dahlia for revenge. Sean is confronted by both Annja and Eve, who are not pleased about his cheating. They shouldn't be! Cheating is wrong! Relationships get destroyed that way!
Damon: Yeah, he's speaking from experience. You jerk.
Stefan: Damon, not on air. Annja ran into Hope, who tries to kill her. That's not nice! Sean had a bad reunion with his daughter, Chloe, and Eve tries to kill Johnny, but Savannah stops her because she's pregnant.
Damon: I say kill him anyway. In other news, Kyle Reese was chased through the preserve by a polar bear. That's intense, man. At the MCA, Fraser is imprisoned and chained to a wall. Huh. That sounds familiar, doesn't it, Stefan?
Stefan: Well what's the point of having a basement dungeon if you're not going to keep your brother down there sometimes?
Damon: Fair point. Kyle Katarn is locked in the closet at the Arms. I don't know if that's literally or figuratively. Ramon and Leonaela were set to be married by Captain Jack Sparrow when they discover they both used to be the opposite sex of what they are now. But they get married anyway and Leonaela dies in Ramon's arms. Man. That is an event filled wedding. Wish I had been there. John met Gavin on the beach and ends up almost getting dirtytime but it quickly turned into "getting buried alive time" and Gavin took both his scarf and his identity. Penelope was ready to jump off a cliff because of her failed wedding but Hurley stops her, assuring her that he didn't cheat. She makes him promise to be faithful. At the park, an John-identity-stealing Gavin confronts Charles Stark-Bass. They end up fighting and Charles ends up getting a sword through his chest and dies.
Stefan: That is wrong!
Damon: Thanks, Captain Morality. Earlier today, there was a wedding at Town Hall. The wedding of Tyler and Tony. There were guests, of course, because there was free booze. The ceremony started off well but a pre-death Charles objected at the right moment because Tyler has no taste and Tony is technically still married to his mother, who is really a sex-changed Mayor Summers.
Stefan: It's probably a good thing that kid is dead because he probably needed an astounding amount of therapy coming from a family like that.
Damon: True. Steve also objected to the wedding, because he was still in love with Tony. But Tony is still married to the mayor. People freaked out over this, somebody actually died, and there was still an after-reception concert. That's classy.
Stefan: Leto was enjoying a perfectly normal morning at the Perk. Good for you. He chatted with a bad-accented Triela and a perfectly normal Momoko. The latter tried to speak to Triela too, but just got confused. Father Jack Priest did a sermon at the church and then married Emma and Rose. The two girls got married, I mean. And he was the officiator.
Damon: Hot. That's hot.
Stefan: Damon, please. Castiel apparently didn't like Jack butting in on his whole church thing. Hannibal was in the park and told off Daniel. Then he ran into Wade and there would have been a fight, but sunlight saves his life. Huh. Irony, right there. Hank was working on a freeze ray at the Freelance HQ. A woman with amnesia wants to help and Max wants to try out the freeze ray. Hank eventually gets defeated by his twin brother, Kyle. That's how it should end. Brother versus brother.
Damon: I agree. I'll rip your throat out one day, little brother.
Stefan: Can't wait to see you try and fail.
Damon: We have fun, don't we? Biff was at the Wellspring Arms and got company in the form of Jim and someone by the name of Mountain Dew. I bet that name was hard to grow up with. Jaina was on the docks and made out with Charles while Gavin lurked on. Brooke tells Jaina that she's not really her mother and then they make out. Again, hot.
Stefan: Damon...
Damon: Am I making you jealous? Sorry. Luke was eating bear claws at J,GOB. Easy on those, buddy. Mortals can get fat. John gave Luke crap about Grace Winchester and being the DA. Romeo literally ran into Luke's table discuss throwing Jeff in jail because he ruins hair. Janice ho'd it up with Luke, Jaina dramatically caught up with him and Mountain Dew amused Luke with her antics. Claire was wandering the streets and she had a very important question for Jack O'Neill.
Stefan: Dr. Lance Sweets was at the Perk, and Mary broke down and told him about his past as a hotel owner named Casey. Another amnesia case, I see. Must be something in the water. An emo Yomoko got comforted by Jamie, Mountain Dew attempted to order people around and Jack O'Neill died. Again. Priestly was on his way to Ink n' Holes to pierce and tattoo himself.
Damon: Don't get a gay little rose tattoo like Stefan has.
Stefan: It's a cool tattoo! It's touching. You don't know what you're talking about. Mirax wanted to know if Priestly knew her. He didn't but they made out anyway. Jeez. What a slut. Dinah was confused because she thought Priestly was Dean at first. And then...Priestly got in a conversation with himself.
Damon: Well that's weird.
Stefan: Seriously. Ben was doing graffiti art outside by the rocky bits. That's probably illegal. Jason was burning off angst with a paintball gun. That's not very healthy. Momoko tried to get him to stop and somehow handcuffs don't equal dirty here. That's a miracle. And then Jason killed Jack O'Neill. Rude.
Damon: Buffy was whoring herself out on a corner. Well. Everybody's gotta make money somehow. Barney picked her up, nice going, and Tara offered to give Buffy a sweater but she wasn't having it. Biff's evil twin haggled with Buffy over price and Jack O'Neill told her to join the Air Force. Whoring seems a lot easier.
Stefan: Damon. Whoring is wrong.
Damon: Of course you would think that. Aurora opened up Caritas this evening and she was making out with Tino. Ew. She also hit on Adrian and they went off to do dirty things. Adrian asked after Jim's sanity and hit on Naomi. Jaina was drinking away her cares and Dimitri offered her company but gets slapped-slash-made out with. Seems to be a trend today. Veronica Mars-Casablancas met Francine Duquette and re-discovered her long-lost sister, Elle. So what, I end up re-meeting Stefan every few decades.
Stefan: You are the one who always ends up finding me.
Damon: Like it matters who finds who? The point is, it's not that big of a deal. Hannibal wrestles with Adora's different personalities and then tried his luck with Mistress Raven. Both GOB and Maureen had conversations with Mistress Raven as well. Mistress Raven sounds like someone I might like.
Breaking News
Stefan: Arthur has Merlin tied up in his room. Not dirty. But not for lack of Merlin trying. George was brooding on the roof and was reunited with his beloved Jean. Mistress Raven got a customer in the form of GOB. Oh, and Joan discovered Raven's secret life. That's what you get for keeping secrets in the first place. Chris' double life was exposed by Summer, Jack O'Neill died in the J,GOB and Rikku announced Luke might be her babydaddy.
Damon: In dead people news, Anakin was shot dead by Priestly, when he was trying to shoot himself. Who in the hell misses when they're trying to shoot themselves? Elena was shot dead as well.
Stefan: For some reason that saddens me.
Damon: What doesn't sadden you, you emo brat?
Stefan: My soul is in pain, Damon, I have plenty of reasons to be emo.
Damon: For the love of god, let's just end this already.
Stefan: Not on air, Damon!
Damon: *sigh* I meant end the broadcast, not the UST.
Stefan: Oh. Of course. Okay. We're done. Goodnight.
Damon: What he said!
Stefan the puppet who is really Damon with a lower voice: That's not true. There were a few years where you didn't even know what a radio was.
Damon: Must you be so literal all the time, Stefan?
Stefan: I'm just stating fact.
Damon: Yeah, whatever. Don't eat the squirrels. It's disgusting.
School
Damon: There's nothing. School's lame anyways.
Stefan: That's not true! I believe a good education is a diving board for a happy life.
Damon: My god, what episode of Sesame Street did you get that from? I swear, if it weren't for your broody dark looks...
Dorms
Stefan: Kate was comatose. Oh no! That's terrible! A mean girl named Dierdre used Kate's coma to stash things in her room and Yakko turned it to use the Wheel of Morality. Let's hope it morally helps Kate out of a coma! Hannibal tried to bite Kate but ended up fleeing.
Damon: What a wuss.
Stefan: No, Damon, he did the right thing! He must be as tortured as I am. Jean came by to talk about her possibly baby daddies. Wow. I don't want to say anything bad about a lady but...you're a whore. Beka shocked Hayley with her return, Lion-o is locked in a closet, Ender spazzed out to Triela about Ben and Clark woke up in labor. Isn't Clark a boy's name?
Damon: That one chick from Top Model was named Clark.
Stefan: ...
Damon: Yeah, I watch. Shut up. On the roof, Leda was being mysterious. Join the club. Jacques is ominous and flirty with her. 'Kay. Behind the dorms today, Jono was giving a shirtless concert. Like you do. There was mingling and the actual concert. Apparently Jono develops something called the Legacy Virus mid-show. I have no idea what that is.
Stefan: If it means your soul is dying a little day by day because of the guilt over the horrific things you and your brother have done over the past hundred years then I too have the Legacy virus!
Damon: Stefan! Stop speaking of such things! I don't know what I'd do if I lost you.
Stefan: *sniff* I'm so sorry, Damon.
Damon: That's better. Beka had a confrontation with Jono because he's apparently an old ex. Oh I know how that is. Jean tells Jono that not only is she dying, but she's pregnant with his baby. I don't know how that is. Jono could see Jaye's ghost because she's apparently his one true love. She ends up passing from this world.
Stefan: Oh that's so sad! It's just like that show with Jennifer Love Hewitt!
Damon: ...
Stefan: If you get Top Model, then I'm allowed to have this.
Damon: Fair enough. Deirdre takes the news of Jono dying as a sign that they should have a child. Apparently right that second. Wow. Tomoko offers to be a roadie for Jono but points out she's deaf. Ah. Elena wants to know if Jono lives up to his hype, which leads to some bow chicka wow wow.
Stefan: But, Damon, he's already impregnated Jean and is planning to impregnate Deirdre! That's surely too many women!
Damon: Too many for you, maybe. There was a clinic on the first floor, which is good considering all the pregnancies. Dr. Lily was on call and apparently GOB requested her specifically. Because he has seasonal allergies. Griff brought Alex cookies and showed him a burn on his hand, which is an emergency these days, because they go to an exam room. Martin demands to know why his wife is in a coma and Alex points out that assaulting her attending physician probably won't help anything. Ben needed a doctor who didn't kill patients and lists off his symptoms of nose cancer. Gross! Ellie tries and fails to find her babydaddy and Hoshi comes in for a pregnancy test. It's too late for a pregnancy test for Clark because he came in with his assbaby, fresh from the toilet...
Stefan: Did you say assbaby?
Damon: It's right here in the notes. Assbaby. Baby of the ass. A buttinfant, if you will.
Stefan: Oh dear lord. Thankfully for Clark and the assbaby, there were exam rooms where these things could be taken care of privately. Well not so privately since I'm about to share all the details on air. Jean was crying about both her brain injury and her pregnancy. Mirax has amnesia but apparently knows about herself to know it's okay to make out with a doctor. Angela Chase was still in an emocoma and got checked on by both doctors and her husband, Martin.Sokka and Robin both have brain issues, and I mean that in a totally non-insulting way. Griff is gay! Alex is bi! They confessed their love for each other and made out.
Damon: *sighs*
Stefan: Damon, no! It's wrong!
Damon: Father Ned said it was okay if the two people loved each other!
Stefan: I refuse to listen to you speak of this any longer! I swear I'll leave!
Damon: Stefan, no! Come back! I'm sorry, I won't mention it again.
Stefan: Very well. I will continue with my note reading. GOB has ovarian cysts and Dr. Lily only gave him a short time frame to live. At least you can die! Clark was in an exam room with Alex and Clark's, um, assbaby.
Damon: That will never be right.
Stefan: For once we agree. Dr. Lily came in to check in on the assbaby's heart and Meg, the babymomma--sorry, babydaddy--came in to check up on Clark and to name the assbaby Picklesteak Mambazo. Okay then. And Hoshi is not only pregnant, but hearing voices too. Man, I'm glad we're relatively normal. I mean, normal for us.
Damon: Seriously.
Town
Stefan: In what I will call the Arms Hotel drama, Gwynn comforts her girlfriend Eve over Savannah's condition. Johnny begs Savannah to wake up, and when she doesn't, he has sexual relations with Sean. And then Savannah wakes up.
Damon: Whoops!
Stefan: That's more than a whoops, Damon. Savannah goes to Eve and Dahlia for revenge. Sean is confronted by both Annja and Eve, who are not pleased about his cheating. They shouldn't be! Cheating is wrong! Relationships get destroyed that way!
Damon: Yeah, he's speaking from experience. You jerk.
Stefan: Damon, not on air. Annja ran into Hope, who tries to kill her. That's not nice! Sean had a bad reunion with his daughter, Chloe, and Eve tries to kill Johnny, but Savannah stops her because she's pregnant.
Damon: I say kill him anyway. In other news, Kyle Reese was chased through the preserve by a polar bear. That's intense, man. At the MCA, Fraser is imprisoned and chained to a wall. Huh. That sounds familiar, doesn't it, Stefan?
Stefan: Well what's the point of having a basement dungeon if you're not going to keep your brother down there sometimes?
Damon: Fair point. Kyle Katarn is locked in the closet at the Arms. I don't know if that's literally or figuratively. Ramon and Leonaela were set to be married by Captain Jack Sparrow when they discover they both used to be the opposite sex of what they are now. But they get married anyway and Leonaela dies in Ramon's arms. Man. That is an event filled wedding. Wish I had been there. John met Gavin on the beach and ends up almost getting dirtytime but it quickly turned into "getting buried alive time" and Gavin took both his scarf and his identity. Penelope was ready to jump off a cliff because of her failed wedding but Hurley stops her, assuring her that he didn't cheat. She makes him promise to be faithful. At the park, an John-identity-stealing Gavin confronts Charles Stark-Bass. They end up fighting and Charles ends up getting a sword through his chest and dies.
Stefan: That is wrong!
Damon: Thanks, Captain Morality. Earlier today, there was a wedding at Town Hall. The wedding of Tyler and Tony. There were guests, of course, because there was free booze. The ceremony started off well but a pre-death Charles objected at the right moment because Tyler has no taste and Tony is technically still married to his mother, who is really a sex-changed Mayor Summers.
Stefan: It's probably a good thing that kid is dead because he probably needed an astounding amount of therapy coming from a family like that.
Damon: True. Steve also objected to the wedding, because he was still in love with Tony. But Tony is still married to the mayor. People freaked out over this, somebody actually died, and there was still an after-reception concert. That's classy.
Stefan: Leto was enjoying a perfectly normal morning at the Perk. Good for you. He chatted with a bad-accented Triela and a perfectly normal Momoko. The latter tried to speak to Triela too, but just got confused. Father Jack Priest did a sermon at the church and then married Emma and Rose. The two girls got married, I mean. And he was the officiator.
Damon: Hot. That's hot.
Stefan: Damon, please. Castiel apparently didn't like Jack butting in on his whole church thing. Hannibal was in the park and told off Daniel. Then he ran into Wade and there would have been a fight, but sunlight saves his life. Huh. Irony, right there. Hank was working on a freeze ray at the Freelance HQ. A woman with amnesia wants to help and Max wants to try out the freeze ray. Hank eventually gets defeated by his twin brother, Kyle. That's how it should end. Brother versus brother.
Damon: I agree. I'll rip your throat out one day, little brother.
Stefan: Can't wait to see you try and fail.
Damon: We have fun, don't we? Biff was at the Wellspring Arms and got company in the form of Jim and someone by the name of Mountain Dew. I bet that name was hard to grow up with. Jaina was on the docks and made out with Charles while Gavin lurked on. Brooke tells Jaina that she's not really her mother and then they make out. Again, hot.
Stefan: Damon...
Damon: Am I making you jealous? Sorry. Luke was eating bear claws at J,GOB. Easy on those, buddy. Mortals can get fat. John gave Luke crap about Grace Winchester and being the DA. Romeo literally ran into Luke's table discuss throwing Jeff in jail because he ruins hair. Janice ho'd it up with Luke, Jaina dramatically caught up with him and Mountain Dew amused Luke with her antics. Claire was wandering the streets and she had a very important question for Jack O'Neill.
Stefan: Dr. Lance Sweets was at the Perk, and Mary broke down and told him about his past as a hotel owner named Casey. Another amnesia case, I see. Must be something in the water. An emo Yomoko got comforted by Jamie, Mountain Dew attempted to order people around and Jack O'Neill died. Again. Priestly was on his way to Ink n' Holes to pierce and tattoo himself.
Damon: Don't get a gay little rose tattoo like Stefan has.
Stefan: It's a cool tattoo! It's touching. You don't know what you're talking about. Mirax wanted to know if Priestly knew her. He didn't but they made out anyway. Jeez. What a slut. Dinah was confused because she thought Priestly was Dean at first. And then...Priestly got in a conversation with himself.
Damon: Well that's weird.
Stefan: Seriously. Ben was doing graffiti art outside by the rocky bits. That's probably illegal. Jason was burning off angst with a paintball gun. That's not very healthy. Momoko tried to get him to stop and somehow handcuffs don't equal dirty here. That's a miracle. And then Jason killed Jack O'Neill. Rude.
Damon: Buffy was whoring herself out on a corner. Well. Everybody's gotta make money somehow. Barney picked her up, nice going, and Tara offered to give Buffy a sweater but she wasn't having it. Biff's evil twin haggled with Buffy over price and Jack O'Neill told her to join the Air Force. Whoring seems a lot easier.
Stefan: Damon. Whoring is wrong.
Damon: Of course you would think that. Aurora opened up Caritas this evening and she was making out with Tino. Ew. She also hit on Adrian and they went off to do dirty things. Adrian asked after Jim's sanity and hit on Naomi. Jaina was drinking away her cares and Dimitri offered her company but gets slapped-slash-made out with. Seems to be a trend today. Veronica Mars-Casablancas met Francine Duquette and re-discovered her long-lost sister, Elle. So what, I end up re-meeting Stefan every few decades.
Stefan: You are the one who always ends up finding me.
Damon: Like it matters who finds who? The point is, it's not that big of a deal. Hannibal wrestles with Adora's different personalities and then tried his luck with Mistress Raven. Both GOB and Maureen had conversations with Mistress Raven as well. Mistress Raven sounds like someone I might like.
Breaking News
Stefan: Arthur has Merlin tied up in his room. Not dirty. But not for lack of Merlin trying. George was brooding on the roof and was reunited with his beloved Jean. Mistress Raven got a customer in the form of GOB. Oh, and Joan discovered Raven's secret life. That's what you get for keeping secrets in the first place. Chris' double life was exposed by Summer, Jack O'Neill died in the J,GOB and Rikku announced Luke might be her babydaddy.
Damon: In dead people news, Anakin was shot dead by Priestly, when he was trying to shoot himself. Who in the hell misses when they're trying to shoot themselves? Elena was shot dead as well.
Stefan: For some reason that saddens me.
Damon: What doesn't sadden you, you emo brat?
Stefan: My soul is in pain, Damon, I have plenty of reasons to be emo.
Damon: For the love of god, let's just end this already.
Stefan: Not on air, Damon!
Damon: *sigh* I meant end the broadcast, not the UST.
Stefan: Oh. Of course. Okay. We're done. Goodnight.
Damon: What he said!
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