Fandom Radio, Monday, September 21

[likethegun]

Sam: Good evening, Fandom. It seems like you and I make a good team.

Andy: Can't argue with that. But that just goes to show you -- don't follow a stoned gremlin around if you don't want to end up with a new job.

Sam: Avoiding stoned gremlins altogether might be an even better idea.

Andy: Aw, Gus wasn't that bad.

Sam: The first time you get bitten, I'm sorry, but I'm gonna laugh really hard.

Andy: Oh, I'm not going to get bitten. Gus and I already discussed that.

Sam: Riiight. Well, I hope he holds up his end of that deal, for your sake.

Andy: Really, you don't have to worry about it.

Sam: All right, if you say so. Here, look these over while I get started.


School News

Sam: Applied Science learned about the basics of aerodynamics by making paper airplanes. Of course, knowing the students here, they were probably more like paper fighter jets.

Hubris from Revelation discussed Eid, which is the Muslim holiday that marks the end of Ramadan. There was a ton of food for everyone to eat as they discussed the day's assignment - to pay Zakat al-fitr by giving food to others. Oh, which reminds me, I have a muffin for you.

Andy: Yeah? Is it a magic muffin?

Sam: No, it's just a blueberry muffin.

Andy: Well, blueberries are good too. Thanks.

Sam: You're very welcome. Physical Films combined running and movie watching today. After changing into their oh-so-embarrassing uniforms, everyone hopped onto some treadmills to watch the German film Go Leda Go. Because running and subtitles are a great combination.

Care for Magical Creatures covered the different parts of faeries today. They talked about symbols and what faeries might use them to try to convey, looked at pressed faeries - ew, if that's what that sounds like - and then celebrated Over Hill and Dale Day by playing leapfrog.

And Sex Ed covered, um, oral sex today, by watching a movie that I hope wasn't mortifying for any of them.

Andy: There's movies about that? That aren't pornos, I mean?

Sam: For educational purposes, yeah. Not that you couldn't use porn for the same thing, I suppose.

Andy: Have you ever tried that as an excuse to watch porn?

Sam: Of course not! That would imply that I actually watch porn too, which I would never do. Cal was in the library with his new haircut, which he explained to a very amused Hayley was the result of getting bubblegum in his hair.

The fencing club gathered, mingled, and then worked on defense drills and general sparring under the watchful eye of Mr. Algren. And Robin and Naomi met and tried to come up with a name for the band.


Dorm News

Andy: Over in the dorms, Layla was playing music and going through George's clothes. While Aravis was trying on dresses. I'm assuming the dresses weren't George's.

My roommate Jack brought Tony Foster a cookie and they talked about Castiel and working on the play.

Didi was in the third floor girls' bathroom this morning, discovering the monthly joys of womanhood. Um, wow, these squirrels are thorough, but I gotta wonder, do we really need to know that?

Sam: No, but we've got to talk about it anyway if it's here.

Andy: Still doesn't seem right. Rachel mistakenly thought Didi might be pregnant, while Leda had a stomach bug and introduced herself to Didi between bathroom stalls.

Jean offered Didi Midol to help take off the edge, while Didi told Elena she had taken Tylenol for her cramps -- and I really don't think we should be talking about this, especially on the radio.

Sam: Seriously, I'm sorry Didi. Bad squirrels, no muffin bits for you.

Andy: Hayley and Didi talked about how Hayley was doing great because she didn't get punched at Fight Club last night, and Jill offered Didi her choice of chocolate or peanut butter.

Arthur was doing intensive drills in the salle this morning. Oh thank god, something to talk about other than that thing we were just talking about.

Arthur asked Merlin who was polishing armor if he talked to "her" yet. You guys couldn't get more details, like say, a name?

*squirrels chitter at length*

I really have serious doubts to your news gathering priorities.

Dinah caught up with Merlin on what she missed at the Magic Reserves, and wondered if Arthur had had fun sparring with Deadpool. And Francine texted Merlin which made him frown and sigh.

In the third floor common room this afternoon, Kate was flipping through a gossip magazine while waiting for her muffin to bake. *pause* Not dirty. But was it a magic muffin?

Sam: I can pretty much guarantee that 99% of the things baked here are not magical, unless you use questionable ingredients from the kitchens.

Andy: I'll bake you some magic brownies sometime if you want. It's really not that difficult.

Sam: As long as you tell me what they are before you give them to me, I guess that would be all right.

Andy: Cool! Kate and Hurley discussed the potential of using muffins for bribing teachers. Jack asked what he could do to help and was told to eat muffins. Still not dirty. I think. And Jaime decided that the muffins were another reason why the third floor was the best.

And this evening up on the fourth floor, Cal was making Greek food in the common room while not watching Rumor Gal Likely story. Worf was rewarded for his astute observation that Cal's hair is short by getting a nice stick of Cal's meat.

Uh, is that something we should be talking about on the radio?

Sam: *laughing* Yes, always.

Andy: *mutters* Seriously questioning your news priorities. Rose was totally impressed with how good Cal's cooking smelled, so he offered her his meat stick as well. And Jaina was desperate to know if Cal was sharing his meat, but she was told not unless she begs for it. Okay, now, really, guys, that's more information than we need to know. I don't care if they're in the common room. Orgies don't need to be broadcast on the radio.

Sam: It's times like this that I'm glad the notes don't come with pictures.


Town News

Sam: Ender was hard at work at Stark Industries and got a visit from Fiona asking about how his reading was going, in addition to his usual visit from Ben.

Turtle was having fun doing inventory at Turtle and Canary, and Elena stopped in to buy a whole bunch of groceries.

Ms. Day was doing her usual radio transcription at the Trooper Station, and Liz organized the desk over at the Arms Hotel. Rachel did some redecorating at MCA, and Dr. Sweets was one of the first ones to admire her handiwork.

Vince was singing along to the Rolling Stones at The Gig, and Claire was reading an advance preview at Android's Dungeon. Sounds like she's been properly assimilated into comic geekdom.

Andy: Does it say what the preview is of?

Sam: Uh...nope.

Andy: Figures. Really, the calibre of newsgathering here leaves a lot to be desired.

Sam: Well, it's better than nothing. Elle was manning - or womaning? - the phones at Cabot and Associates, and Oz was celebrating International Peace Day at the Holiday Grove. Joan was taking good care of the plants at Covent Garden Flowers, and Irulan got bitten by the writing bug at Imperial Brim. Not literally bitten, I'm assuming.

Aphrodite was having some kitten trouble at Dite's Decadent Delights, and good job squirrels on not going for the dirtier P-word on that note. Mina stopped in, presumably to do some shopping, and Max just came in to flirt with Aphrodite.

Chuck got a free cupcake at JGoB because the people there thought it was his birthday. Dude, it better not really be your birthday, or I'm going to be pissed that you didn't say anything.

The very awesome cast list for the next play went up at the Boards, so congrats to everyone who got cast!

Lacey had a headache at Luke's Diner because she made the mistake of looking up fanfiction on the internet. I only know a little bit about that, but it's enough to know that you don't do that if you want to stay sane. Ms. Tatou stopped by the diner to investigate it and the food, and she and Lacey got to talking about cooking. The Weetiny Boys Club of George, Kyle, and Bobby decided not to talk about Sex Ed or the girls in the class, but ended up talking about the class anyway.

And Dinah made some calls and had the cast of the play join her at the diner to celebrate. She talked to Tony about how she hadn't expected to get a lead role, which definitely makes two of us.

Andy: You got a lead role?

Sam: Yeah, I'm one of the lovers. It's crazy, but I'm excited.

Andy: Congratulatons, man! I'm sure you're going to break a leg. Only, y'know, not literally.

Sam: I'm all for metaphorical-only leg breaking. Priestly called Dinah a star before getting congratulated by Tony. He also talked to Triela about how crazy Dinah is - the good kind of crazy, of course - and got more congratulations from Karla and Jack Priest.

Triela came by to offer moral support to everyone, and to bring gifts to Dinah. Jack asked her if she's part of the cast, and she explained that no, she was just there for Dinah, and Emma and Triela talked about the gun club.

Karla called Dinah a painted maypole, which I'm assuming is a compliment. Karla and Triela talked about private shooting lessons, and Karla and Jack talked about their roles while flirting. Tony congratulated Karla and Emma teased her about being the star of the show.

Dinah and Jack joked about carrying on a fake love affair like their characters, and Jack told Tony all about Andy and the fun they had with that gremlin. You sound like you've made a good roommate impression.

Andy: I guess I'm kinda likable, yeah.

Sam: Yeah, I'd say that about you too. Emma congratulated Jack on his role, complete with teasing and flirting, and Blysse and Dinah got gleeful at each other while they ate. Blysse also got congratulations from Emma before they talked about Blind Seer acting, and Emma and Dinah teased each other about their roles.

Tino was all alone tonight at Caritas, except for Mr. Dukes who, for some reason, seemed to think that his Fight Club-induced headache would go away if he drank. Obviously, he would have been a lot better off going to the clinic, where Millie was in an extraordinarily good mood.

Andy: That seems to be all the notes the squirrels have made.

Sam: Yeah, that's all of them. That wasn't so bad, was it?

Andy: Eh. Could've done without all the womanly cramps and orgies.

Sam: You'll get used to it after a little while, I promise. Do you want to say goodnight?

Andy: Good night.

Sam: And be safe, especially with those orgies.