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fandom_radio2009-09-05 10:44 pm
formermayqueen.livejournal.com) wrote in fandom_radio2009-09-05 10:44 pm
Fandom Radio - September 5th
ERIC: Woah, hey, why am I being kidnapped by squirrels? If you wanted me to play with you, all you had to do was ask. Oh, hey, a radio station! Is there a party going on here tonight or something?
CORDY: Or something. The little freaks kidnapped me and keep telling me that I have to read their notes. And don't ask me how I know what they're saying, because the last time I checked, I didn't speak squirrel.
*chittering*
CORDY: No, I don't speak it. You're magic squirrels or something, and you're making me understand you that way, that's what I think.
ERIC: Magic is real. I met a witch the other day and she was cute. No warts or anything.
CORDY: I know a witch too. And a Slayer. Well, two slayers, but one of them got killed by this psycho vampire ho.
*chittering*
CORDY: Do you mind? We're talking here.
ERIC: Slayer is a pretty decent band. I've never heard of Psychic Vampire Ho though.
*chittering*
ERIC: Okay, okay, we'll talk after we read the notes, geez.
School
ERIC: Uh, nothing, because it's Saturday. Duh.
CORDY: Thank god. Could you imagine a worse hell than going to school on Saturday? Oh, I wonder if there is a Hell where you have to go to school on weekends? *pages rustling* Moving on to...
Dorms
CORDY: Okay, um, Chuck woke up to a confetti shower and then found his closet full of flowers. Valentine smelled roses, looked in, and earned a bouquet of flowers for her jokes about Valentine's Day. You know, Chuck, you could share the wealth with the rest of us girls too. And wait, how did all of this get on the notes? Did Chuck or Valentine tell someone about this?
ERIC: No clue, but that must be Chuck who isn't my roommate because we didn't have flowers in our room this morning. Just streamers.
*chittering*
CORDY: I had balloons, and I just figured it was my roommate's fault. Anyway, Cal woke up to streamers and balloons, and started typing on his typewriter... Really? Cal? A typewriter? That is so ancient. We have these things now, called computers. You should get with the century. Okay, he had a visitor in Arthur who was looking for Merlin, but bitched about the state of the room, Cal and Cal's hair. Which, is wrong because Cal has great hair, which he flipped at Arthur before Arthur stomped off. Why do Arthur and Merlin sound familiar?
*chittering*
CORDY: He's a prince? Like, money and castles and servants type of prince? I'm going to have to meet him. Okay, then Francine showed up to thank Merlin for the flowers in her room, but found out that she's not the only one Merlin has been giving flowers too. Wait, so Merlin is to thank for the balloons? He's spreading himself a bit thin, isn't he? Liir and Joan woke up together, and wow, the things I did not want to know about my classmates. I mean, really. And then this afternoon, Didi woke up and found her room decorated as well.
ERIC: Woah, how do you squirrels know that they woke up together? That's pretty creepy. It's not so creepy that you know about Beka arguing with her cat about cat food in the Fourth Floor Common Room. Must have been a pretty one-sided argument there. Jonas showed up and he and Beka talked about adjusting to a new time. Huh? You guys aren't used to being up in the morning or something? And then Jonas offered her a flower from his pants. That's smooth, dude. Let me know how that line worked for you.
CORDY: Ew. Please tell me it was one he had put there after finding in his room, and not one that had actually grown in his pants.
ERIC: This note says they 'sprung from his pants.' In other weird news, some chick and her wolf were in the common room. The wolf and the cat sized each other up. I'm gonna guess the wolf is bigger than the cat. Unless the cat is, like, a lion or something. Jonas was freaked out by the wolf, which makes sense to me, but Blysse told him that Blind Seer wouldn't hurt anyone. Well, I guess a blind wolf wouldn't be as dangerous as one that can see.
CORDY: Well, they do have a great sense of smell. Or at least that's what someone told me, and he should know since he's a werewolf.
ERIC: Like, a real werewolf?
CORDY: Totally real. We had to lock him up in the library's book cage during the full moon. Apparently, there was a party on the deck today, which I totally missed, Dinah was very excited about it though. She tried to make Jak with no C and super tall hair... wait, that's really his name?
*chittering*
CORDY: Oh, how many Jacks are there that you have to tell them apart like that? Anyway, Dinah tried to make Jak of the Tall Hair wear a hat, but he wasn't for it and then they got into a jumping contest. Leda asked Jak of the Tall Hair if he was an elf. Like, a cookie elf or a shoe elf? Because if he's a shoe elf, I broke a heel last night and need it fixed. Then Claire and Dinah couldn't figure out what the party was for, so they decided it was a 'My Classes Are Awesome' party, which I agree with, and over food decided Deadpool is crazy, which I also agree with. Leda asked Claire where Claire's boytoy is, and got told that he's busy, but Claire is going to make him get out more often. Aren't guys always busy when you need them? And usually with a mirror. Back to Dinah, who also talked with Mat and they decided it was 'Happy Spontaneous Fun Day'. Wait, didn't she decide it was 'My Classes Are Awesome' day with Claire? Make up your mind, Dinah! Of course, Helen told Mat that anything is better than syrup rain, which is totally true. I ruined a perfectly good pair of heels in that yesterday. Azula agreed with this and told Mat so, and mentioned that they have a class together.
ERIC: I liked the syrup. And there were waffles in the cafeteria! Did you know that putting one in a computer will break it?
CORDY: ...you put a waffle in a computer?
ERIC: I was only fifteen; I didn't know any better. Anyway, Cal was all smooth and gave Dinah one of the flowers that's been popping up everywhere. What's wrong with that? I gave Harper some of them on our date too. Of course, Cal sounds like a creepy dude, since they talked about ways to make sure he has a good dramatic death. Helen wondered about the party but Dinah decided it didn't matter and was better than syrup rain and demonstrated her tele... tele something by making a hat dance which leads to a discussion of powers. Wait? You guys are witches too? I'll have to ask little dude when I get back to the dorms, because Chuck who is my roomie met Dinah and got cupcakes and found out Dinah is kind of our neighbor.
CORDY: Telekinesis. And you don't have to be a witch to have those kinds of powers. You could be a Slayer, but only if you're a girl, or part demon.
ERIC: Ha! Like demons are real. Anyway, Leda asked my roomie if anything weird has happened to him yet and he told her just the syrup rain. Oh and then my roomie's hot sister showed up and met Dinah and they talked about clubs. I decided to join the fraternity. Dinah does something called a cupcake bend to give Azula a cupcake and that sounds like some weird chick thing. They talk about food and going to Ching Tai. I'd be happy to escort one or both of you ladies on a dinner date. Oh, and apparently Dinah changed her mind again about what the party was for, telling Leda it's for the Great Purple People Eater.
CORDY: Demons are real. Like that Great Purple People Eater, it's real. Only, it eats babies. ...a lot of demons eat babies.
ERIC: You know, for a hot chick, you sound kinda crazy.
CORDY: If you don't believe me, ask around. I'm sure someone here could tell you where to find a demon or a vampire. Like, Layla Who Knows Stuff. Wait, what does she know?
*chittering*
CORDY: Just stuff? Could you maybe vague that up a bit more? Layla decided to have an anti-emo party on the roof, or at least that is what she told Rose, who warned her that the smokers' might riot. Ew, smoking is such a nasty habit. They made with the introductions, and Layla told Rose about knowing stuff. Zayne mentioned that it was a good night for a party, and Rose said that not even a blizzard was a bad night for a party. I guess she's never heard of the Donner Party. He was then confused by Layla who told him to get his dance on and talked about knowing stuff. Emma threatened to revoke Layla's minion status due to poor music choices, which is always a good reason for revocation, and how Layla should stay on Emma's good side. Rose agreed with Emma's dislike of the music and they discussed Emma's happiness with a housebroken minion, high maintenence and royalty.
ERIC: Woah, so the school bully here is a girl? Cause the only people at my old school with minions were the bullies. My geeky little brother got mixed up with them.
CORDY: Oh, no. Usually the popular girls in school have minions who are less popular, but definitely more popular than the freaks. Zayne wondered what was wrong with the music and Emma educated him on it, and then they talked about glitter in the blood and boykissing and how it hasn't been proven to Emma yet. Priestly gets told by Layla to make her a sandwich, and he did after making her say please. Then Priestly and Zayne tried to figure out why there was a party. Just don't ask Dinah, boys. She can't make up her mind. Rose told Priestly not to stick out his tongue unless he planned to use it, which he did for eating his sandwich. Layla avoided a discussion on the island providing food by getting herself a mocktail, and then Emma bitched to Valentine about them not having any classes together and the fact that she's in Ethics. Valentine hoped that Emma survived cooking class. You know, I would probably care a whole lot more if I knew any of these people.
ERIC: We've only been here a week. You can meet more people and then next time the squirrels kidnap us, you can mock them better.
CORDY: Very true. Mocking is an art and works best when you actually know the mockee.
ERIC: Most definitely. Okay, now the squirrels are giving me notes for...
Town
ERIC: Gha... ga... oh, let's call her Lady Gaga was hanging posters around town about something called Fight Club. Sounds violent. Biff, whose name is much easier to say, was celebrating International Bacon Day. Maybe that's what the party stuff was for. Or maybe it was for Jan's birthday since Jean stopped by Wellspring Arms with a present for her. She also wanted to know if Nate would train her friends. For some reason, the squirrels are very amused by this. Wee!Kyle and, dude, that sucks as a nickname, worked hard at Turtle and Canary. Meanwhile, his boss, Turtle, had what she called a business dinner with Leto at Pizza Planet, but the notes say the squirrels think it was a daaaate. Yes, with all those extra a's. Dinah of the deck party met Daisy at The Perk to talk about being a PI. Hoshi was overcome with flowers at The Arms. Well why didn't she just put them down so her arms wouldn't be overwhelmed?
CORDY: ...Your SAT score was in the single digits, wasn't it?
ERIC: No, I got a 920. But that wasn't good enough apparently. Haley with one Y was shaking her groove thing at Guilty as Charged. That's a weird name for a night club. Didn't stop Jim Halpert from dropping by and dancing with her. Though apparently he wanted to buy a bike. And you thought I was dumb? Why would you try to buy a bike at a night club? Blonde Rachel decided that the flowers in the MCA Lobby were from a secret admirer. Maybe that Merlin dude. He seems to get around. Summer was relaxing at the beach and met Minsc, who was trying to convince Boo to learn how to swim. Over at Atlas Gym, Merlin met up with Lady Gaga and she got to hear about his recent trip and see how his eyes are gold now. See? Dude gets around. Because later in the evening, he and Francine had a picnic on the beach. With sunscreen. Even I know you don't need sunscreen at night. Or sunglasses, no matter what that cheesy song says.
CORDY: Uh-huh. At Caritas, Alex was drafted as the bartender, and Effy showed up so they could be all bitchy at each other. You Ess Tee anyone? And Dite's sex shop was not only full of confetti and balloons, but she also has a new kitten. ...that could be taken in so many wrong ways.
ERIC: There's a sex shop? Woah. In more family friendly news, Iru... lan thought the decorations were festive at the hat shop. Robin the Frog, who also has a weird nickname, rearranged the decorations at Android's Dungeon. That kind of sounds like the name of a sex shop, doesn't it?
CORDY: Let me see that. *pages rustling* Only if the sex shop is full of superheroes. It's probably one of those geeky comic shops.
ERIC: I went on a date with Harper at Luke's Diner. The squirrels seem to approve of the flowers and compliments I gave her. Thanks little furry dudes. And Ino was in a good mood at the clinic.
ERIC: Is that all the notes?
*chittering*
ERIC: Guess so.
CORDY: Do we get paid for this?
*chittering, glasses clinking*
CORDY: Rum? Is that even legal? No! I didn't say I didn't want it, I just asked if it was legal.
ERIC: We get paid in booze? That's pretty awesome.
*chittering*
CORDY: Oh, sign off? Well, I'm the fabulous Cordelia Chase, and this other guy is Eric Matthews, and goodnight Fandom.
CORDY: Or something. The little freaks kidnapped me and keep telling me that I have to read their notes. And don't ask me how I know what they're saying, because the last time I checked, I didn't speak squirrel.
*chittering*
CORDY: No, I don't speak it. You're magic squirrels or something, and you're making me understand you that way, that's what I think.
ERIC: Magic is real. I met a witch the other day and she was cute. No warts or anything.
CORDY: I know a witch too. And a Slayer. Well, two slayers, but one of them got killed by this psycho vampire ho.
*chittering*
CORDY: Do you mind? We're talking here.
ERIC: Slayer is a pretty decent band. I've never heard of Psychic Vampire Ho though.
*chittering*
ERIC: Okay, okay, we'll talk after we read the notes, geez.
School
ERIC: Uh, nothing, because it's Saturday. Duh.
CORDY: Thank god. Could you imagine a worse hell than going to school on Saturday? Oh, I wonder if there is a Hell where you have to go to school on weekends? *pages rustling* Moving on to...
Dorms
CORDY: Okay, um, Chuck woke up to a confetti shower and then found his closet full of flowers. Valentine smelled roses, looked in, and earned a bouquet of flowers for her jokes about Valentine's Day. You know, Chuck, you could share the wealth with the rest of us girls too. And wait, how did all of this get on the notes? Did Chuck or Valentine tell someone about this?
ERIC: No clue, but that must be Chuck who isn't my roommate because we didn't have flowers in our room this morning. Just streamers.
*chittering*
CORDY: I had balloons, and I just figured it was my roommate's fault. Anyway, Cal woke up to streamers and balloons, and started typing on his typewriter... Really? Cal? A typewriter? That is so ancient. We have these things now, called computers. You should get with the century. Okay, he had a visitor in Arthur who was looking for Merlin, but bitched about the state of the room, Cal and Cal's hair. Which, is wrong because Cal has great hair, which he flipped at Arthur before Arthur stomped off. Why do Arthur and Merlin sound familiar?
*chittering*
CORDY: He's a prince? Like, money and castles and servants type of prince? I'm going to have to meet him. Okay, then Francine showed up to thank Merlin for the flowers in her room, but found out that she's not the only one Merlin has been giving flowers too. Wait, so Merlin is to thank for the balloons? He's spreading himself a bit thin, isn't he? Liir and Joan woke up together, and wow, the things I did not want to know about my classmates. I mean, really. And then this afternoon, Didi woke up and found her room decorated as well.
ERIC: Woah, how do you squirrels know that they woke up together? That's pretty creepy. It's not so creepy that you know about Beka arguing with her cat about cat food in the Fourth Floor Common Room. Must have been a pretty one-sided argument there. Jonas showed up and he and Beka talked about adjusting to a new time. Huh? You guys aren't used to being up in the morning or something? And then Jonas offered her a flower from his pants. That's smooth, dude. Let me know how that line worked for you.
CORDY: Ew. Please tell me it was one he had put there after finding in his room, and not one that had actually grown in his pants.
ERIC: This note says they 'sprung from his pants.' In other weird news, some chick and her wolf were in the common room. The wolf and the cat sized each other up. I'm gonna guess the wolf is bigger than the cat. Unless the cat is, like, a lion or something. Jonas was freaked out by the wolf, which makes sense to me, but Blysse told him that Blind Seer wouldn't hurt anyone. Well, I guess a blind wolf wouldn't be as dangerous as one that can see.
CORDY: Well, they do have a great sense of smell. Or at least that's what someone told me, and he should know since he's a werewolf.
ERIC: Like, a real werewolf?
CORDY: Totally real. We had to lock him up in the library's book cage during the full moon. Apparently, there was a party on the deck today, which I totally missed, Dinah was very excited about it though. She tried to make Jak with no C and super tall hair... wait, that's really his name?
*chittering*
CORDY: Oh, how many Jacks are there that you have to tell them apart like that? Anyway, Dinah tried to make Jak of the Tall Hair wear a hat, but he wasn't for it and then they got into a jumping contest. Leda asked Jak of the Tall Hair if he was an elf. Like, a cookie elf or a shoe elf? Because if he's a shoe elf, I broke a heel last night and need it fixed. Then Claire and Dinah couldn't figure out what the party was for, so they decided it was a 'My Classes Are Awesome' party, which I agree with, and over food decided Deadpool is crazy, which I also agree with. Leda asked Claire where Claire's boytoy is, and got told that he's busy, but Claire is going to make him get out more often. Aren't guys always busy when you need them? And usually with a mirror. Back to Dinah, who also talked with Mat and they decided it was 'Happy Spontaneous Fun Day'. Wait, didn't she decide it was 'My Classes Are Awesome' day with Claire? Make up your mind, Dinah! Of course, Helen told Mat that anything is better than syrup rain, which is totally true. I ruined a perfectly good pair of heels in that yesterday. Azula agreed with this and told Mat so, and mentioned that they have a class together.
ERIC: I liked the syrup. And there were waffles in the cafeteria! Did you know that putting one in a computer will break it?
CORDY: ...you put a waffle in a computer?
ERIC: I was only fifteen; I didn't know any better. Anyway, Cal was all smooth and gave Dinah one of the flowers that's been popping up everywhere. What's wrong with that? I gave Harper some of them on our date too. Of course, Cal sounds like a creepy dude, since they talked about ways to make sure he has a good dramatic death. Helen wondered about the party but Dinah decided it didn't matter and was better than syrup rain and demonstrated her tele... tele something by making a hat dance which leads to a discussion of powers. Wait? You guys are witches too? I'll have to ask little dude when I get back to the dorms, because Chuck who is my roomie met Dinah and got cupcakes and found out Dinah is kind of our neighbor.
CORDY: Telekinesis. And you don't have to be a witch to have those kinds of powers. You could be a Slayer, but only if you're a girl, or part demon.
ERIC: Ha! Like demons are real. Anyway, Leda asked my roomie if anything weird has happened to him yet and he told her just the syrup rain. Oh and then my roomie's hot sister showed up and met Dinah and they talked about clubs. I decided to join the fraternity. Dinah does something called a cupcake bend to give Azula a cupcake and that sounds like some weird chick thing. They talk about food and going to Ching Tai. I'd be happy to escort one or both of you ladies on a dinner date. Oh, and apparently Dinah changed her mind again about what the party was for, telling Leda it's for the Great Purple People Eater.
CORDY: Demons are real. Like that Great Purple People Eater, it's real. Only, it eats babies. ...a lot of demons eat babies.
ERIC: You know, for a hot chick, you sound kinda crazy.
CORDY: If you don't believe me, ask around. I'm sure someone here could tell you where to find a demon or a vampire. Like, Layla Who Knows Stuff. Wait, what does she know?
*chittering*
CORDY: Just stuff? Could you maybe vague that up a bit more? Layla decided to have an anti-emo party on the roof, or at least that is what she told Rose, who warned her that the smokers' might riot. Ew, smoking is such a nasty habit. They made with the introductions, and Layla told Rose about knowing stuff. Zayne mentioned that it was a good night for a party, and Rose said that not even a blizzard was a bad night for a party. I guess she's never heard of the Donner Party. He was then confused by Layla who told him to get his dance on and talked about knowing stuff. Emma threatened to revoke Layla's minion status due to poor music choices, which is always a good reason for revocation, and how Layla should stay on Emma's good side. Rose agreed with Emma's dislike of the music and they discussed Emma's happiness with a housebroken minion, high maintenence and royalty.
ERIC: Woah, so the school bully here is a girl? Cause the only people at my old school with minions were the bullies. My geeky little brother got mixed up with them.
CORDY: Oh, no. Usually the popular girls in school have minions who are less popular, but definitely more popular than the freaks. Zayne wondered what was wrong with the music and Emma educated him on it, and then they talked about glitter in the blood and boykissing and how it hasn't been proven to Emma yet. Priestly gets told by Layla to make her a sandwich, and he did after making her say please. Then Priestly and Zayne tried to figure out why there was a party. Just don't ask Dinah, boys. She can't make up her mind. Rose told Priestly not to stick out his tongue unless he planned to use it, which he did for eating his sandwich. Layla avoided a discussion on the island providing food by getting herself a mocktail, and then Emma bitched to Valentine about them not having any classes together and the fact that she's in Ethics. Valentine hoped that Emma survived cooking class. You know, I would probably care a whole lot more if I knew any of these people.
ERIC: We've only been here a week. You can meet more people and then next time the squirrels kidnap us, you can mock them better.
CORDY: Very true. Mocking is an art and works best when you actually know the mockee.
ERIC: Most definitely. Okay, now the squirrels are giving me notes for...
Town
ERIC: Gha... ga... oh, let's call her Lady Gaga was hanging posters around town about something called Fight Club. Sounds violent. Biff, whose name is much easier to say, was celebrating International Bacon Day. Maybe that's what the party stuff was for. Or maybe it was for Jan's birthday since Jean stopped by Wellspring Arms with a present for her. She also wanted to know if Nate would train her friends. For some reason, the squirrels are very amused by this. Wee!Kyle and, dude, that sucks as a nickname, worked hard at Turtle and Canary. Meanwhile, his boss, Turtle, had what she called a business dinner with Leto at Pizza Planet, but the notes say the squirrels think it was a daaaate. Yes, with all those extra a's. Dinah of the deck party met Daisy at The Perk to talk about being a PI. Hoshi was overcome with flowers at The Arms. Well why didn't she just put them down so her arms wouldn't be overwhelmed?
CORDY: ...Your SAT score was in the single digits, wasn't it?
ERIC: No, I got a 920. But that wasn't good enough apparently. Haley with one Y was shaking her groove thing at Guilty as Charged. That's a weird name for a night club. Didn't stop Jim Halpert from dropping by and dancing with her. Though apparently he wanted to buy a bike. And you thought I was dumb? Why would you try to buy a bike at a night club? Blonde Rachel decided that the flowers in the MCA Lobby were from a secret admirer. Maybe that Merlin dude. He seems to get around. Summer was relaxing at the beach and met Minsc, who was trying to convince Boo to learn how to swim. Over at Atlas Gym, Merlin met up with Lady Gaga and she got to hear about his recent trip and see how his eyes are gold now. See? Dude gets around. Because later in the evening, he and Francine had a picnic on the beach. With sunscreen. Even I know you don't need sunscreen at night. Or sunglasses, no matter what that cheesy song says.
CORDY: Uh-huh. At Caritas, Alex was drafted as the bartender, and Effy showed up so they could be all bitchy at each other. You Ess Tee anyone? And Dite's sex shop was not only full of confetti and balloons, but she also has a new kitten. ...that could be taken in so many wrong ways.
ERIC: There's a sex shop? Woah. In more family friendly news, Iru... lan thought the decorations were festive at the hat shop. Robin the Frog, who also has a weird nickname, rearranged the decorations at Android's Dungeon. That kind of sounds like the name of a sex shop, doesn't it?
CORDY: Let me see that. *pages rustling* Only if the sex shop is full of superheroes. It's probably one of those geeky comic shops.
ERIC: I went on a date with Harper at Luke's Diner. The squirrels seem to approve of the flowers and compliments I gave her. Thanks little furry dudes. And Ino was in a good mood at the clinic.
ERIC: Is that all the notes?
*chittering*
ERIC: Guess so.
CORDY: Do we get paid for this?
*chittering, glasses clinking*
CORDY: Rum? Is that even legal? No! I didn't say I didn't want it, I just asked if it was legal.
ERIC: We get paid in booze? That's pretty awesome.
*chittering*
CORDY: Oh, sign off? Well, I'm the fabulous Cordelia Chase, and this other guy is Eric Matthews, and goodnight Fandom.
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