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fandom_radio2009-05-20 01:00 am
uptheziggurat.livejournal.com) wrote in fandom_radio2009-05-20 01:00 am
Fandom Radio - Tuesday, May 19
What the--
What the smeg am I doing here? what did--
*chittering*
...you goits, you stold my Lightbee! You have no idea the kind of complaints I intend to lodge with the administration about this outrageous breach of personal privacy and this--this assault on my personal-- person.
*chittering*
Shut up.
*squeak*
This is utterly ridiculous, you realize. I don't quite understand what the *ruffling of paper* Oh. Well, I suppose I could. You really want me to-- Hmm. All right. I'll give it the old Space Corps try.
School, though you can hardly tell with the lack of discipline around here.
Hmmm oh good, the staff are working. How glorious. I never would have guessed from looking at this place. There's something here about non-humans-- why do I care?
Apparently, there were sea creatures on shelving books in the library. Oh it's a name? Anemone. Right. Someone named Veronica did her class on preparing for the-- preparing for Saturday? There's a class on preparing for Saturday? Oh, and they've even got a computer game for it. Typical. Absolutely typical. Apparently, some of the students are as confused about this as I am, as Harper and Jennifer doubted people actually talk like-- talk like what? You realize none of this makes any sense at all, don't you?
*chittering*
Fine fine fine, I'll keep going. The rest of this had better be a bit more newsworthy. More newsworthy than Mister Dresden showing up to do his job as teaching assistant.
Professor Brennan discussed the, ahem, hotness of people on a scientific basis in her class today. Well that's pointless. It's the haircut, of course. Short haircuts. And they actually got credit for sitting around looking at pretty pictures in magazines. Disgusting. Absolutely disgusting. Someone, a Karla, was talking in class to Chuck and admitted to-- she admitted to theft right in front of a teacher? What is wrong with this school? Apparently everyone was too busy presenting hotness to notice this abysmal excuse for discipline. Meanwhile, Chuck chattered to someone else about his sister and the TAs showed up. That would be... hmm, Eric and Valentine, according to this.
Professor Jones held Anthropology in the Danger Shop today, my favored stomping grounds, and... paired them up to fight for an artifact? Fighting? We're encouraging fisticuffs now? Among the team ups were Diana and Helen as well as Shiloh and Robin. They went through some manner of obstacles... God, this is rubbish. Wait. They were chased by a rock? This is what passes for education around here? No wonder the natives were angry. Think of what they're paying in taxes for this kind of education system.
...A nazi? Are you making fun of me, because if you think this is a game...
*chittering*
Anyway, they recovered and the TA was conspicuously absent. Hmph. They probably heard about the Nazi.
Blah blah blah Anakin blah blah Flight & Flying blah blah Speeder Bikes-- oh, flying bikes. Wait, no, flying Priests on bikes. Tell me if you see a nun up there, will you? There might have been as there were quite a few people flying in the forest, though of course in typical undisciplined fashion, they stopped to chat as well. Rose introduced herself to Ben, Tahiri teased Zayne about his fetishes.
...that's what it says.
And John TA'd brilliantly as Rose makes ridiculous excuses to her instructor about her absence.
In Beach Play, there was a lecture. What on? I couldn't tell you. The notes could have been better written by a blind deaf mute in subarctic temperatures. Merlin apparently took the time to assure Eleanor that she'd enjoy the class, and then everyone played in the sand. Adora speculated on midget sand castle housing futures to Francine, who I should hope was suitably mortified, while Romeo and Jess did valient duty as TAs.
*deep breath*
Do you all realize that I've been living on a ship in the midst of deep space with the same group of smegheads for five years now, and none of them, including that curry-swilling goit, have matched the level of negative productivity that I see before me now? No? Well, now that I feel better, we can move on.
Logically Speaking got off to a good second class with a bit of weasel cunning. Finally, something useful! Those in my class, pay attention! The students listened to the lecture then paired up to figure out how to lie without actually lying in a way that could get them in trouble. Claire acted as TA.
In the teacher's lounge-- wait. There was a gathering in the teacher's lounge and no one invited me?! Goits. Veronica slacked off shamefully with brownies. I love brownies. Max was entirely unprofessional, Edna demanded coffee, and Tim was the only normal one in the bunch.
Lastly, the smegging freeloader currently infesting my house had his office hours and was visited by Max while Gibbs was the only one doing anything like work in the entire smegging complex.
Dormitories, where the lot of you need to find something productive to do with yourselves.
At the gun range--
*chittering*
Oh you have got to be kidding me. All right, 'at the gun range', Triela showed up out of habit and was visited by both Jack and Agnes.
The defensive group, whatever that could be, met behind the dormitories. People mingled as you all seem wont to do at all times, and-- oh, I've got a whole list here, you should see it.
Tahiri wanted to skip the exercise to go commit larceny, Ino and Fiona got to work on the task at hand, Dinah was stupified by Gabrielle's idiocy (I doubt this was difficult for either of them), and Leto introduced himself to Gabrielle, hopefully to clear up said idiocy. Ino has obviously been nipping at the sweets a bit too often, but Triela seems to have missed them entirely as she snapped at Fiona over-- who cares. Dinah, at least, was glad that Triela showed up and Merlin assured Dinah that the weekend was totally normal. Good. I wish I didn't have to. Diana, whose name shouldn't sound so much like Dinah because it's annoying, found out that this was all a waste of time. Well, at least it's out in the open now. I never would have guessed.
Continuing, Fiona admitted to being a bit smeg to Ben, while Leto asked him about his datapad. Datapad? You're cleared for those? Blysse was terribly helpful at being confused and was a perfect match to Dinah, who giggled. Yes, I'm certainly glad these people are a part of our security. Elspeth and Blysse meet, as do Zack and Leto, while Fiona and Ino blathered on. The organizers of this mess were there if anyone wanted to tell them how absolutely terrible they are at organizing if these notes are any indication, and Ino took the time to ask Arthur about the assignment. Elspeth was crazy, then Arthur was crazy, and apparently I've been using the wrong pronouns as both Arthur and Leto are girls. Fiona and Leto shared some girl-talk, something about being warriors. Hmph. Momoko was excited and Tony made posters, which are less effective against polymorphs than you might expect. And finally Elspeth and Leto talked defensive strategy in what sounds to be the single most productive interaction of the entire meeting.
At the Teddy Roosevelt Campfire, Claudia should have taken a picture and Griff put his life in danger by disposing of a woman's shoes. Leda discusses eating hats, Eowyn was a busy-body, and Diana complained. I wouldn't. It doesn't change anything.
Someone snuck back to the dorms to make a phonecall, FIONA, but I won't say who. I'll just make a note and present it to the principle to see what's to be done about you.
At the Main Campfire, Alex was being a deliquent, which prompted Amber to tell him he's not seen anything yet in regards to oddness. Hmph. Rose promised Amber not to flirt with her boyfriend after introductions--Amber's boyfriend, not Rose's as that would just be silly--but Rose did flirt with Alex. My ever-brilliant teaching assistant immediately acted as welcoming committee to Rose, who had been a bit tardy getting here, and Chie tempted fate with Alex. Rose and Chie talked, Turtle and Chie talked, and Alex was flirty with someone else and I hope both you girls are listening.
Going onward, Alex insists Liir doesn't set his dog on fire which, really, is a perfectly reasonable request, while Rose avoids the animal entirely and Adora proves herself to possess the processing capabilities of a walnut. Morgana gets chummy with Alex as well, but Rose chimed in with offers of marshmallows. Then Turtle is logical at Alex and remind me to tell you a little story about 'magnetism' and terrible wonderful things that come in little red vials.
Town and all it's ridiculousness
In boring news, Mary folded laundry at the Arms and Loki sat around until Daisy dropped by.
Edward tried to learn to fry an egg at Luke's today and failed miserably, while Hinata managed to open the Book Haven without trouble. In fact, Mister Reyes came by and spoke to her and didn't manage to disrupt her day.
Ino opened the flower shop and received a visit from Penelope, while Fiona and Alex managed not to sue themselves over at the law offices.
Showing that this place isn't entirely devoid of culture, the theatre held auditions for their produciton of The Scottish Play. People who wanted to get cast included Glinda, someone named Ender who indulged in some naval-gazing, Jack Burton (who it says here was an abysmal failure), a Miss Sophie who seems to be some sort of professional, another Jack who was not, by all reports, a giant boat of smeg, someone dressed like a disco ball, and Eric. Don't ask. I don't know.
The crew involved Tony, largely, who talked about attractive tea--- no, I think I'll leave that go for the moment. Then they all mingled and Jack who wasn't quite so good as the other Jack had a muffin. Good for you. Gold star.
No, I'm kidding.
*chittering*
No rum either. I'm a hologram.
*chittering*
Yes, yes yes, but I'm a morose drunk. It's really not pretty, I can tell you.
Anyway, Ellie opened the Gig or something, and Dani came by to make sure she did it right. Right. Adam read at the Android's Dungeon, which I assume is some sort of strange post-organic BDSM club and as such, I don't want know what he was reading. Jack reminds me of my old bunkmate from the 'Dwarf by being completely smegging useless at his job in the Photo Hut, while Jack O'Neil put up a sign about boats which earned him a hello from Charlotte.
Tully pondered gift shops at the lighthouse, and cranked his music up at what appears to have been a distress signal. Or maybe an angry duck. Brilliant job, lighthouse.
Also, Jack Sparrow did something. I don't know. I didn't write the note.
Riggins manned the bar for free beer in a gross display of laziness on the part of Marshall, dead people made music, and Riggins.... really liked the bar? Why is this in here twice?
*chittering*
Oh, all right, narrative. Fair enough.
Griff got free beer as well, Helen was relieved at the lack of falling rocks, and Haley got a drink after work.
Thank you, squirrels, if it weren't for you, I'd never have known there was a lounge or a back room to the bar and I think you need to take some classes in journalism if you think that's news.
In other 'news', Martha made sure the clinic was in fine order in case things go pear-shaped, and Alex with the law office came in for something I assume is protected by doctor-patient confidentiality. Well, at least some things are observed around here.
*chittering*
I can go? Finally?
*more chittering*
Well if that's how you want to be about it, fine.
*swoosh* *swivvle swivvle swivvle* *swish swash swoosh*
That was a proper salute, incidentally, and this is Arnold J. Rimmer, B.s.c, S.s.c signing off... and wondering how in the hell anyone gets anything done around here.
[I love you all; Rimmer's just a jerk]
What the smeg am I doing here? what did--
*chittering*
...you goits, you stold my Lightbee! You have no idea the kind of complaints I intend to lodge with the administration about this outrageous breach of personal privacy and this--this assault on my personal-- person.
*chittering*
Shut up.
*squeak*
This is utterly ridiculous, you realize. I don't quite understand what the *ruffling of paper* Oh. Well, I suppose I could. You really want me to-- Hmm. All right. I'll give it the old Space Corps try.
School, though you can hardly tell with the lack of discipline around here.
Hmmm oh good, the staff are working. How glorious. I never would have guessed from looking at this place. There's something here about non-humans-- why do I care?
Apparently, there were sea creatures on shelving books in the library. Oh it's a name? Anemone. Right. Someone named Veronica did her class on preparing for the-- preparing for Saturday? There's a class on preparing for Saturday? Oh, and they've even got a computer game for it. Typical. Absolutely typical. Apparently, some of the students are as confused about this as I am, as Harper and Jennifer doubted people actually talk like-- talk like what? You realize none of this makes any sense at all, don't you?
*chittering*
Fine fine fine, I'll keep going. The rest of this had better be a bit more newsworthy. More newsworthy than Mister Dresden showing up to do his job as teaching assistant.
Professor Brennan discussed the, ahem, hotness of people on a scientific basis in her class today. Well that's pointless. It's the haircut, of course. Short haircuts. And they actually got credit for sitting around looking at pretty pictures in magazines. Disgusting. Absolutely disgusting. Someone, a Karla, was talking in class to Chuck and admitted to-- she admitted to theft right in front of a teacher? What is wrong with this school? Apparently everyone was too busy presenting hotness to notice this abysmal excuse for discipline. Meanwhile, Chuck chattered to someone else about his sister and the TAs showed up. That would be... hmm, Eric and Valentine, according to this.
Professor Jones held Anthropology in the Danger Shop today, my favored stomping grounds, and... paired them up to fight for an artifact? Fighting? We're encouraging fisticuffs now? Among the team ups were Diana and Helen as well as Shiloh and Robin. They went through some manner of obstacles... God, this is rubbish. Wait. They were chased by a rock? This is what passes for education around here? No wonder the natives were angry. Think of what they're paying in taxes for this kind of education system.
...A nazi? Are you making fun of me, because if you think this is a game...
*chittering*
Anyway, they recovered and the TA was conspicuously absent. Hmph. They probably heard about the Nazi.
Blah blah blah Anakin blah blah Flight & Flying blah blah Speeder Bikes-- oh, flying bikes. Wait, no, flying Priests on bikes. Tell me if you see a nun up there, will you? There might have been as there were quite a few people flying in the forest, though of course in typical undisciplined fashion, they stopped to chat as well. Rose introduced herself to Ben, Tahiri teased Zayne about his fetishes.
...that's what it says.
And John TA'd brilliantly as Rose makes ridiculous excuses to her instructor about her absence.
In Beach Play, there was a lecture. What on? I couldn't tell you. The notes could have been better written by a blind deaf mute in subarctic temperatures. Merlin apparently took the time to assure Eleanor that she'd enjoy the class, and then everyone played in the sand. Adora speculated on midget sand castle housing futures to Francine, who I should hope was suitably mortified, while Romeo and Jess did valient duty as TAs.
*deep breath*
Do you all realize that I've been living on a ship in the midst of deep space with the same group of smegheads for five years now, and none of them, including that curry-swilling goit, have matched the level of negative productivity that I see before me now? No? Well, now that I feel better, we can move on.
Logically Speaking got off to a good second class with a bit of weasel cunning. Finally, something useful! Those in my class, pay attention! The students listened to the lecture then paired up to figure out how to lie without actually lying in a way that could get them in trouble. Claire acted as TA.
In the teacher's lounge-- wait. There was a gathering in the teacher's lounge and no one invited me?! Goits. Veronica slacked off shamefully with brownies. I love brownies. Max was entirely unprofessional, Edna demanded coffee, and Tim was the only normal one in the bunch.
Lastly, the smegging freeloader currently infesting my house had his office hours and was visited by Max while Gibbs was the only one doing anything like work in the entire smegging complex.
Dormitories, where the lot of you need to find something productive to do with yourselves.
At the gun range--
*chittering*
Oh you have got to be kidding me. All right, 'at the gun range', Triela showed up out of habit and was visited by both Jack and Agnes.
The defensive group, whatever that could be, met behind the dormitories. People mingled as you all seem wont to do at all times, and-- oh, I've got a whole list here, you should see it.
Tahiri wanted to skip the exercise to go commit larceny, Ino and Fiona got to work on the task at hand, Dinah was stupified by Gabrielle's idiocy (I doubt this was difficult for either of them), and Leto introduced himself to Gabrielle, hopefully to clear up said idiocy. Ino has obviously been nipping at the sweets a bit too often, but Triela seems to have missed them entirely as she snapped at Fiona over-- who cares. Dinah, at least, was glad that Triela showed up and Merlin assured Dinah that the weekend was totally normal. Good. I wish I didn't have to. Diana, whose name shouldn't sound so much like Dinah because it's annoying, found out that this was all a waste of time. Well, at least it's out in the open now. I never would have guessed.
Continuing, Fiona admitted to being a bit smeg to Ben, while Leto asked him about his datapad. Datapad? You're cleared for those? Blysse was terribly helpful at being confused and was a perfect match to Dinah, who giggled. Yes, I'm certainly glad these people are a part of our security. Elspeth and Blysse meet, as do Zack and Leto, while Fiona and Ino blathered on. The organizers of this mess were there if anyone wanted to tell them how absolutely terrible they are at organizing if these notes are any indication, and Ino took the time to ask Arthur about the assignment. Elspeth was crazy, then Arthur was crazy, and apparently I've been using the wrong pronouns as both Arthur and Leto are girls. Fiona and Leto shared some girl-talk, something about being warriors. Hmph. Momoko was excited and Tony made posters, which are less effective against polymorphs than you might expect. And finally Elspeth and Leto talked defensive strategy in what sounds to be the single most productive interaction of the entire meeting.
At the Teddy Roosevelt Campfire, Claudia should have taken a picture and Griff put his life in danger by disposing of a woman's shoes. Leda discusses eating hats, Eowyn was a busy-body, and Diana complained. I wouldn't. It doesn't change anything.
Someone snuck back to the dorms to make a phonecall, FIONA, but I won't say who. I'll just make a note and present it to the principle to see what's to be done about you.
At the Main Campfire, Alex was being a deliquent, which prompted Amber to tell him he's not seen anything yet in regards to oddness. Hmph. Rose promised Amber not to flirt with her boyfriend after introductions--Amber's boyfriend, not Rose's as that would just be silly--but Rose did flirt with Alex. My ever-brilliant teaching assistant immediately acted as welcoming committee to Rose, who had been a bit tardy getting here, and Chie tempted fate with Alex. Rose and Chie talked, Turtle and Chie talked, and Alex was flirty with someone else and I hope both you girls are listening.
Going onward, Alex insists Liir doesn't set his dog on fire which, really, is a perfectly reasonable request, while Rose avoids the animal entirely and Adora proves herself to possess the processing capabilities of a walnut. Morgana gets chummy with Alex as well, but Rose chimed in with offers of marshmallows. Then Turtle is logical at Alex and remind me to tell you a little story about 'magnetism' and terrible wonderful things that come in little red vials.
Town and all it's ridiculousness
In boring news, Mary folded laundry at the Arms and Loki sat around until Daisy dropped by.
Edward tried to learn to fry an egg at Luke's today and failed miserably, while Hinata managed to open the Book Haven without trouble. In fact, Mister Reyes came by and spoke to her and didn't manage to disrupt her day.
Ino opened the flower shop and received a visit from Penelope, while Fiona and Alex managed not to sue themselves over at the law offices.
Showing that this place isn't entirely devoid of culture, the theatre held auditions for their produciton of The Scottish Play. People who wanted to get cast included Glinda, someone named Ender who indulged in some naval-gazing, Jack Burton (who it says here was an abysmal failure), a Miss Sophie who seems to be some sort of professional, another Jack who was not, by all reports, a giant boat of smeg, someone dressed like a disco ball, and Eric. Don't ask. I don't know.
The crew involved Tony, largely, who talked about attractive tea--- no, I think I'll leave that go for the moment. Then they all mingled and Jack who wasn't quite so good as the other Jack had a muffin. Good for you. Gold star.
No, I'm kidding.
*chittering*
No rum either. I'm a hologram.
*chittering*
Yes, yes yes, but I'm a morose drunk. It's really not pretty, I can tell you.
Anyway, Ellie opened the Gig or something, and Dani came by to make sure she did it right. Right. Adam read at the Android's Dungeon, which I assume is some sort of strange post-organic BDSM club and as such, I don't want know what he was reading. Jack reminds me of my old bunkmate from the 'Dwarf by being completely smegging useless at his job in the Photo Hut, while Jack O'Neil put up a sign about boats which earned him a hello from Charlotte.
Tully pondered gift shops at the lighthouse, and cranked his music up at what appears to have been a distress signal. Or maybe an angry duck. Brilliant job, lighthouse.
Also, Jack Sparrow did something. I don't know. I didn't write the note.
Riggins manned the bar for free beer in a gross display of laziness on the part of Marshall, dead people made music, and Riggins.... really liked the bar? Why is this in here twice?
*chittering*
Oh, all right, narrative. Fair enough.
Griff got free beer as well, Helen was relieved at the lack of falling rocks, and Haley got a drink after work.
Thank you, squirrels, if it weren't for you, I'd never have known there was a lounge or a back room to the bar and I think you need to take some classes in journalism if you think that's news.
In other 'news', Martha made sure the clinic was in fine order in case things go pear-shaped, and Alex with the law office came in for something I assume is protected by doctor-patient confidentiality. Well, at least some things are observed around here.
*chittering*
I can go? Finally?
*more chittering*
Well if that's how you want to be about it, fine.
*swoosh* *swivvle swivvle swivvle* *swish swash swoosh*
That was a proper salute, incidentally, and this is Arnold J. Rimmer, B.s.c, S.s.c signing off... and wondering how in the hell anyone gets anything done around here.
[I love you all; Rimmer's just a jerk]
no subject
It would've been a shame if he'd forgotten and put it in the trash, after all.