Radio: [Friday, March 13th]

[multi-madrox.livejournal.com]

Hello Fandom! Tonight on the news I feel like shaking things up, so everything is going to be in multiple choice and short essay questions.

That's right. Today's news is a test. Kind of like something you'd find in Cosmopolitan magazine but with less chances of getting laid. Please sharpen your number two pencils and get your papers ready. Questions will not be repeated and there's no potty breaks.

School!

Question #1: Today's Gym Class activity involved:
A. Pedicures
B. Uniforms
C. Bowling
D. The TA whining at the teacher for having to do his job.
E. Everything but A with a side order of fries.

Mmm. Fries.

Question #2: Today's Movie Appreciation class involved:
A. Disaster Movies
B. Proof that Dreadlocks has no soul
C. Floating Popcorn
D. The TA and Teacher getting away with showing movies and calling it a class.
E. All of the above

Question #3: In Care of Magical Creatures:
A. People were offered the chance to be transformed into animals
B: The TA's were somber party poopers
C. Harpy Story Time
D. A hamster named Boo lightly sauteed in butter, covered in cream sauce and served with broiled radishes.
E. All but D.

Question #4: Our library today featured:
A. Buffy suntanning in a bikini
B. Buffy suntanning in the buff.
C. Buffy having crabs
D. Buffy kicking my ass after the show.

Question #5:Over at the office there was:
A. A parade of pygmy pirates pondering polygamy
B. A ton of transexual typists tinkering with timebombs
c. Edible exercise equipment with epidermal excesses
D. Office workers running around the office trying to catch inspiration in bread baskets.

Question #6: Anakin had office hours today and
A. Was alone. All alone. Cast adrift among the universe with only his emo to keep him company.
B. Peter Petrelli showed up in a French Maid's uniform for some light housekeeping.
C. Peter Petrelli got an apology for Anakin being in DC last week.
D. Peter Petrelli showed up dressed like Cher and demanded that Anakin be his "Sonny".

Dorms!

Question #7: In Room 303:
A. Leto played with his set of balls for Alice
B. Leto played his baliset for Alice
C. *porno music plays* Awwwww, yeeeeeeah.
D. THERE IS NO "D"

Question #8: In Room 316
A. Amber and Liir had a romantic evening
B. Amber beat the pants off of Liir in a game of Crisco Twister
C. Makejoy the cat kicked Amber and Liir out of the room so it could be emo and listen to Radiohead.
D. Hottentots invaded and reduced the dorm to bits and pieces of rubble.

Question #9: In the Gym:
A. With the help of some Italian plumbers, Hoshi saved Princess Mushroom from her evil kidnappers
B. Hoshi practiced her Yoga
C. The pygmy pirates appeared and proposed to Hoshi
D. Dinah showed up to work out and they talked about a club.
E. B&D but I really wish B&C actually happened.

Question #10: In the computer lab:
A. Robin was surfing porn
B. Robin was posting on YouTube
C. Robin hacked into a giant supercomputer thinking it was a computer game and almost starting WWIII and raising the DEFCON level to Two before finding the original creator of the computer system made the supercomputer play tic-tac-toe by itself and then teaching us all a lesson that no one wins in a nuclear war.
D. Robin was surfing lots of porn

Question #11: In Room 304:
A. Zayne was wondering why he needs to have a "y" in his name.
B. Zayne was "playing with his lightsaber" if you know what I mean
C. Zayne was alone. Cast adrift in a sea of... Oh, wait. I did that already
D. Zayne. Paper wads. Trash Can. Nothing but net.

Question #12: In the Fifth Floor Common Room
A. Seregil was sketching sketches in his sketchy sketchbook.
B. Tony and Seregil discussed Harpy prevention tactics
C. Dinah searched for food.
D. Turtle was somewhat charmed by Seregil's company
E. All of the above. Plus a wish that everyone turned into a kitten. That might be just me though.

Town!

Question #13: Over at Pizza Planet Jen was:
A. Having issues with the jar of pepper flakes again
B. Making out with random men
C. Watching Kiddie shows with teenagers in spandex
D. He was the prince and she was the princess. It's a love story, baby just say yes.

Question #14: Over at the Police Station
A. Ray was staring at a telephone
B. Daisy was teasing Ray for staring at the telephone
C. Dinah came by with coffee and doughnuts
D. Pepper came by with coffee.
E. Don't you think the police department has enough coffee and doughnuts? Do people really need to bringing in MORE?
F. All of the above.

Question #15: Over at the Perk Tyler Durden was:
A. Making soap
B. Killing Bees
C. Basking in the glow of a burned husk of a building once known as the Perk.
D. Drinking coffee.

Question #16: Today at Groovy Tunes:
A. Chad did the Macarena in his tiger thong to Teddy's delight
B. Teddy did the Macarena in his tiger thong to Chad's delight
C. Both Chad and Teddy did the Macarena in their respective tiger thongs much to Prince Oscar Pedro's apathy.
D. Chad cleaned harpy poo off the building. There was no Teddy. There were no Tiger thongs. There was no Los del Río. Prince Oscar Pedro was probably still filled with apathy.

*chittering*

You're right. That does call for a music break. ONE MINUTE DANCE PARTY!

Dale a tu cuerpo alegria Macarena
Que tu cuerpo es pa' darle alegria y cosa buena
Dale a tu cuerpo alegria, Macarena
Heeeeey Macarena
AAAhAA!

Dale a tu cuerpo alegria Macarena
Que tu cuerpo es pa' darle alegria y cosa buena
Dale a tu cuerpo alegria, Macarena
Heeeeey Macarena
AAAhAA!

Macarena tiene un novio que se llama
Que se llama de apellido Vitorino,
Que en la jura de bandera el muchacho
Se la dio con dos amigos

Macarena, Macarena, Macarena
Que le gusta los veranos de Marbella
Macarena, Macarena, Macarena
Que le gusta la movida guerrilera

Macarena sueña con El Corte Ingles
Que se compra los modelos mas modernos
Le gustaria vivir en Nueva York
Y ligar un novio nuevo
AAAAhAA!!

Yes. I know you hate me for earworming you I now have druken squirrels on video doing the Macarena. It was adorable. You'll thank me later.

Question #17: Back to the questions! At Strokes of Genius
A. The paint brushes came to life and attacked any clients coming into the store in pastel colors
B. The entire staff played twister
C. The twister game ate the entire staff
D. Viki was pensive.

Question #18: At Luke's Diner
A. Cal butchered the corpses of harpies and made a delightful breakfast hash
B. Cal butchered the corpses of harpies and made a harpy carpaccio with olives and a virgin olive oil
C. The harpies butchered Cal and made him into a wonderful human flavored gyro with freshly baked pitas and creamy cucumber sauce
D. Cal baked a birthday cake for Claire.

Question #19: Over at Android's Dungeon
A. Dor was boring
B. Dor was boring
C. Dor was boring
D. All of the above.

Question #20: At the Book Haven today:
A. Liir opened the store.
B. Liir met with and became a Jehovah's Witness
C. Liir met with and beat the crap out a Jehovah's Witness
D. Liir won a scorching game of Crisco Twister with a Jehovah's Witness

Question #21: Then at Things Reborn:
A. The mannequins came to life and Meshach Taylor snapped his fingers a lot
B. There was a talking head sitting in a giant petri dish calling people a bunch of bastards
C. George Romero showed up looking for real Zombies
D. Harper got a letter from her Dad and seemed to be quite anxious.

Question #22: Over at Coyote Medicine:
A. A bunch of skankily clad women jumped on the bar, danced provocatively and sang out of tune
B. A giant shipment of ACME products appeared and then caused an explosion after a bird ran by.
C. A pack of wolves came in for their annual distemper shot
D. Arya opened the store

Question #23: Over at Covent Garden Flowers:
A. Hurley opened the store
B. A giant plant from outer space ate Hurley
C. Hurley gathered all the poppies in the store and changed the business model to feature freshly made opium.
D. Hurley ate the flowers mistaking them all for a salad.

Question #24: At the Arms Hotel
A. Mary played with her boobs
B. Mary played with her giant red dog named Clifford
C. Mary played with her pen
D. Gunther poisoned the staff and ran off with Mary to live happily ever after somewhere in the Caribbean.

Question #25: In The Clinic today:
A. Mina discovered a new drug that will wipe out all disease, hair loss, impotence and make your skin look shiny and new
B. Mina was bored
C. Mina buffed the floor with her petticoat to give it that extra glossy look
D. Mina raised an army of undead creatures that will rise up and get that damn TV show with Howie Mandel off the air.

Question #26: At Wellspring Arms and Meditation
A. Cable dressed in a frilly skirt and performed his own rendition of Swan Lake. With hand grenades
B. Rikku and Reno debated the finer points of Ranch Dressing and Whipped Cream.
C. Wade came by to teach little baby Janice the lyrics to "Smack My Bitch Up"
D. Miley Cyrus and the Jonas brothers came by to give a free concert. Cable shot them all and buried them in the preserve.

Question #27: Over at Burrito Loco
A. Claire and Cal ordered the Harpy Thyme Surprise Burrito.
B. Claire and Cal celebrated Cal's Birthday
C. Claire and Cal defended the restaurant from an uprising of crazy flour tortillas
D. Claire threated to kill Cal with a spoon if a mariachi band showed up.

Question #28: In MHA #10, Ben was:
A. feeling so alone. I keep waiting for you but you never come. Is this in my head? I don't know what to think. He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring
B. Forever with you. Forever in me. Ever the same.
C. On tonight. You know his hips don't lie. He's starting to feel it's right. All the attraction. The tension. Don't you see baby, this is perfection.
D. contemplating the giant hole in his wall.

Question #29: Over in Caritas
A. Loki took up whoever was slacking and tended the bar.
B. Loki told Mina that she looked hot in leather.
C. Daisy noticed that Tino had Loki's phone.
D. Mina apologized for breaking Daisy's window.
E. Romeo ordered a girly drink and was justifiably mocked.
F. Minsc ordered a drink very loudly and had to be told about using his "indoor voice".
G. Minsc and Mina maintained a moderate monologue on the murdering of the monsters from the other day.
H. Minsc explained to Jonah that Boo was a mean drunk.
I. Jonah bribed Loki with a cigar. But not in a Bill Clinton way because OH MY GOD MY BRAIN!!!
J. All of the above.

And for those of you keeping score at home the answers were: E,E,E,D,D,C,B,A,E,B,D,E,C,F,D,D,D,D,D,A,D,D,A,C,B,B,D,D,J

If you scored 0-10 You weren't paying attention. I'll be by later to dope slap the back of your head
If you scored 11-20 You still weren't paying enough attention. Stop playing video games and listen damn you!
If you scored 21-28 Then you were paying attention but you're not living up to your fullest potential.

And if you scored a 29 then you are either a dirty liar/cheater or Layla Miller. You get no cookie.

That's it for tonight folks. Your assignment for next week's news is a short essay on random subject that you can copy and paste out of Wikipedia and then pass off as your own. Don't forget to change the verb tense if necessary.