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fandom_radio2009-03-12 10:07 pm
laceycantlie.livejournal.com) wrote in fandom_radio2009-03-12 10:07 pm
Fandom Radio, March 12 (Thursday)
KATCHOO: . . . out of my chair, you ditzy . . .
LACEY: Uh uh, no no no, this is my chair. I believe I called dibs on it first?
KATCHOO: You didn't call dibs on crap! You just came in and sat down in MY FRIKKIN' CHAIR!
LACEY: Does it have your name on it? No? Uh huh.
KATCHOO You're gonna have my name on your *feedback* in a minute if you --
LACEY: Oh, look, she's threatening me. Yup, it's Thursday. Hi, everybody, and welcome to WTFH radio with me, your adorable host Lacey Burrows, and my cranky cohost -- oh, never mind.
KATCHOO: Whaddya know. She's capable of learning.
LACEY: Sorry about that, Fandom. Guess not all the harpies left after all.
KATCHOO: HEY! Look in a mirror lately? I'm HALF YOUR AGE, YOU STUPID *feedback*!
School, Which Was Safe From Harpies Anyway
LACEY: I beg your pardon. I am not as old as you think I am, you little whippersnapper. So American History got a lecture on World War I today, which for those of you not from this planet was not fought with harpies. Just in case you were wondering. They did get to fly period planes, though, and Ino talked to Tyler about her mission and Cal about whether she used her ninja-fu on the harpies.
KATCHOO: . . . that's not a word.
LACEY: Neither are half the things that come out of your mouth.
KATCHOO: Hey, just because you're verbally challenged . . .
LACEY: Am not. Neither are the Journalism students, who turned in their homework like good kids, took notes like you do, and discussed the harpies as a sporting event.
KATCHOO: Baseball bats work nice on 'em.
LACEY: Oh, that is so unsophisticated.
KATCHOO: Oh yeah? What were you gonna do? Interior-decorate them to death?
LACEY: Well, I had a curling broom, but . . .
KATCHOO: So basically you hid.
LACEY: . . . yeah.
KATCHOO: Ha. Thaumaturgy talked about dealing with harpies -- that coulda been a more useful lesson last week -- and talked about how they fought 'em. Guys who brag about the fish they caught only wish they could have this kind of conversation. If they did it'd still be pathetic. Miss Bennet was out sick in Literature today, so Agnes had us discussing our favorite books and yakking a little on the side.
LACEY: Ooo, I want the next one, it's about cooking club.
KATCHOO: You would.
LACEY: Hey, just because it happens to be a passion of mine . . .
KATCHOO: Kinda surprised you don't teach a cooking class or something, really.
LACEY: Oh yeah? Why's that? Wait a second, did you just compliment me?
KATCHOO: Naw, you know the saying about "those who can't do?"
LACEY: . . . they had a nice little social time. And made pizza. Which may or may not have had anything to do with the pizza that the newspaper staff had at their meeting tonight, with the usual assignment-getting and chatting time.
KATCHOO: Yeah, chatting time. Some people talk too much. And steal chairs.
LACEY: Right, because you're such a paragon of muteness.
KATCHOO: Comparatively. Teachers had chatty office hours today. Principal Washburn got a visit from Dean to talk about how Sam won't beat up on girls. Oh, that is such a load of sexist crap.
LACEY: And what are you going to do about it? Try and beat him up just to see if he'll fight back?
KATCHOO: Don't tempt me. I get bored easily.
LACEY: PRINCIPAL WASHBURN, I DIDN'T DO IT.
KATCHOO: Please. Like I'd give you that much credit. Anakin had yarn issues in his office hours, and Jaina stopped in to talk about her latest mission. No creepy tiny kid this week though.
LACEY: Honestly, people have names.
KATCHOO: And I have some choice ones for you, but the squirrel with its paw on the censor button is giving me the stink-eye. Deadpool was looking up crocheting -- people's textile obsession is starting to freak me out here -- in his office hours, and Nate and the baby -- um -- dropped in and got to hear about harpy-killing and knitting.
LACEY: Is that appropriate conversation around a small child? Well, it's probably safer than putting a small child within earshot of you.
KATCHOO: Do I need to point out that you're within reach of me? Reno came by with coffee and to find out if he had detention for the rest of his life. Unless you hand-picked that coffee yourself, this morning, roasted it over the burning bones of virgins, and --
LACEY: Oh, stop. Please. Just stop.
KATCHOO: What? All I'm saying is he should've put in some cinnamon rolls to sweeten the deal, too.
LACEY: Oh, okay. That makes sense.
KATCHOO: See?
LACEY: Did we just agree? Oh, gosh, we did. Let's never let that happen again.
KATCHOO: Yeah, let's just keep that between us and EVERYBODY TUNED IN TO THE BROADCAST, why don't we?
LACEY: Mmmmph.
KATCHOO: Now she's quiet. Like the office was. And the library, where Claudia had crabs.
LACEY: Um.
KATCHOO: The kind with claws, you dimwit. Geez, now who has the dirty mind?
LACEY: It's you. And your evil creepy insidious corrupting influence.
Dorms, Where Harpies Feared to Tread
KATCHOO: No, see, to have a corrupting influence on people I'd actually have to give a *feedback*ing *feedback*. Arthur was shooting the crap out of a target with a crossbow on the range today --
LACEY: (singing) Home, home on the --
*shrieks of squirrelly horror*
KATCHOO: SHUT IT. ALL OF YOU. Romeo cleaned his gun and watched Arthur show off, and Dean came down to clean his guns, get in some practice, and talk to Arthur about hunting, and I don't care how literal all of this is, do you see the innate frikkin' maleness at work here? Geez.
LACEY: Filthy mind. See? Jack was there too, doing target practice with a slingshot, and I'm just going to go on here before you get Freudian on me about that. Dinah slept in late and got woken up by a call from home. Aww, that's nice. Getting calls from home. Knowing people care about you. Miss you when you're gone. All of that. It's so sweet.
KATCHOO: You're so sad. Cry me a frikkin' river. Really. Leto was writing a letter home, and got in a fight with Arthur over harpy-killing and crap, and then Arthur stomped off. Heh. Kaylee was installing a new light fixture in her room --
LACEY: Oooh, I was thinking of doing that in the diner!
KATCHOO: -- and fussing over Ned and his harpy injury and oh god, gag me. John watched disaster movies, which sounds more like it, and Jaina came by to get flirty with him. Nothing says romance like imminent lava doom.
LACEY: That sounds a lot like my last relatio -- ahem. Nobody heard that, okay?
KATCHOO: Hey, furballs. You got that on tape, right?
*chittering*
LACEY: Oh, boy.
Town -- Is It Still Covered In Harpy Droppings?
LACEY: Simon< was in at the clinic, where Daisy stopped in to have her harpy wounds looked at. Millie was at Book Haven, Helen calmed the horses down at The Gig, and Peyton was blasting music at Groovy Tunes, where Tony Foster checked in to see how the store was holding up after the big fight yesterday. Sarah was doing paperwork at Android's Dungeon, and Reno came in to talk about security guard discounts and harpies.
KATCHOO: Harpies. Hot conversation topic. Mothers-in-law everywhere only wish they got this much lip service. Lucky for me it was quiet at Strokes of Genius today, except for the music. Good stuff.
LACEY: I'm sure that had nothing to do with your stellar customer service skills. Murdock was shooting paper balls at the trash can at the Freelance Police HQ, and Eliza was in at Covent Garden Flowers when Tully brought the shiny new store sign by. Priestly was explaining to my staff at Luke's why he was late today -- it's okay, Priestly, you're not in trouble, promise! Hurley came in for a sandwich, and Priestly told him why he doesn't like fight club. Wait, you named a sandwich that?
KATCHOO: Does it ever hurt to be that clueless, Lacey? I have to wonder. Dinah, who's living proof that hyper is a superpower, came in after boomerang practice on the beach with Sokka --
LACEY: -- where Tully stopped to talk harpy attacks with her --
KATCHOO: DO YOU MIND? I'M TALKING HERE! And Claudia thought the harpies were worse than the talking frog. Yeah, anything that flings crap has the natural edge in that contest.
LACEY: Can you stop bringing that up? I just had dinner.
KATCHOO: Stop bringing what up? The harpies or the crap-flinging? Because they were getting some pretty impressive range with the --
LACEY: Okay, ew. Also ew, Gunther's apparently in love, so Hoshi was rolling her eyes a lot at the Arms Hotel. Let's hope that wasn't literal. Jack stopped in to tell her about yesterday's fighting.
KATCHOO: It would've been gross if it was literal, because if he came in and stepped on --
LACEY: Moving on, thank you very much. In much less revolting news, Johnny and Savannah had a date on the boardwalk. Tony was working on lights at The Boards, and Mac stopped by to help and got a tour for it.
KATCHOO: Innit marvy how art brings people together? Robin was tending the bar at Caritas tonight, and Deadpool came in to talk about how this week is better than last week. Uh, yeah, maybe if you get real drunk and squint . . . or maybe it's just me. She told Fraser she wasn't serving him water, which I guess sucks for him if he was dehydrated. Mary came in for a club soda, and Robin told her about the cruise and getting kidnapped and geez, I wish that sentence actually sounded weird to me. I -- I'm not reading that. Here.
LACEY: Oooooooookay. Claudia was in a bradigan -- a what? -- much to Robin's delight. I don't get it.
KATCHOO: Par for the course with you. Even with a handicap. Ben Reilly came in for a beer. Woo. And that's it.
LACEY: That's it? That's all you're going to say is that's it?
KATCHOO: I could say more, but you'd just *feedback* and *feedback* and *feedback* about anything else I came up with and I'm not in the mood to put up with that tonight.
LACEY: Or, you know, ever.
KATCHOO: Or that. Besides, why should I bother when you keep taking over to do your saccharine cutesy thing?
LACEY: It's not . . . *sigh* And that's all for tonight, folks. Thanks so much for tuning in! On behalf of Little Miss Enigmatic Crankypants, this is Lacey Burrows wishing you all a lovely evening. Good night!
KATCHOO: *exaggerated retching sounds*
LACEY: Oh, grow up, you great big --
*click*
LACEY: Uh uh, no no no, this is my chair. I believe I called dibs on it first?
KATCHOO: You didn't call dibs on crap! You just came in and sat down in MY FRIKKIN' CHAIR!
LACEY: Does it have your name on it? No? Uh huh.
KATCHOO You're gonna have my name on your *feedback* in a minute if you --
LACEY: Oh, look, she's threatening me. Yup, it's Thursday. Hi, everybody, and welcome to WTFH radio with me, your adorable host Lacey Burrows, and my cranky cohost -- oh, never mind.
KATCHOO: Whaddya know. She's capable of learning.
LACEY: Sorry about that, Fandom. Guess not all the harpies left after all.
KATCHOO: HEY! Look in a mirror lately? I'm HALF YOUR AGE, YOU STUPID *feedback*!
School, Which Was Safe From Harpies Anyway
LACEY: I beg your pardon. I am not as old as you think I am, you little whippersnapper. So American History got a lecture on World War I today, which for those of you not from this planet was not fought with harpies. Just in case you were wondering. They did get to fly period planes, though, and Ino talked to Tyler about her mission and Cal about whether she used her ninja-fu on the harpies.
KATCHOO: . . . that's not a word.
LACEY: Neither are half the things that come out of your mouth.
KATCHOO: Hey, just because you're verbally challenged . . .
LACEY: Am not. Neither are the Journalism students, who turned in their homework like good kids, took notes like you do, and discussed the harpies as a sporting event.
KATCHOO: Baseball bats work nice on 'em.
LACEY: Oh, that is so unsophisticated.
KATCHOO: Oh yeah? What were you gonna do? Interior-decorate them to death?
LACEY: Well, I had a curling broom, but . . .
KATCHOO: So basically you hid.
LACEY: . . . yeah.
KATCHOO: Ha. Thaumaturgy talked about dealing with harpies -- that coulda been a more useful lesson last week -- and talked about how they fought 'em. Guys who brag about the fish they caught only wish they could have this kind of conversation. If they did it'd still be pathetic. Miss Bennet was out sick in Literature today, so Agnes had us discussing our favorite books and yakking a little on the side.
LACEY: Ooo, I want the next one, it's about cooking club.
KATCHOO: You would.
LACEY: Hey, just because it happens to be a passion of mine . . .
KATCHOO: Kinda surprised you don't teach a cooking class or something, really.
LACEY: Oh yeah? Why's that? Wait a second, did you just compliment me?
KATCHOO: Naw, you know the saying about "those who can't do?"
LACEY: . . . they had a nice little social time. And made pizza. Which may or may not have had anything to do with the pizza that the newspaper staff had at their meeting tonight, with the usual assignment-getting and chatting time.
KATCHOO: Yeah, chatting time. Some people talk too much. And steal chairs.
LACEY: Right, because you're such a paragon of muteness.
KATCHOO: Comparatively. Teachers had chatty office hours today. Principal Washburn got a visit from Dean to talk about how Sam won't beat up on girls. Oh, that is such a load of sexist crap.
LACEY: And what are you going to do about it? Try and beat him up just to see if he'll fight back?
KATCHOO: Don't tempt me. I get bored easily.
LACEY: PRINCIPAL WASHBURN, I DIDN'T DO IT.
KATCHOO: Please. Like I'd give you that much credit. Anakin had yarn issues in his office hours, and Jaina stopped in to talk about her latest mission. No creepy tiny kid this week though.
LACEY: Honestly, people have names.
KATCHOO: And I have some choice ones for you, but the squirrel with its paw on the censor button is giving me the stink-eye. Deadpool was looking up crocheting -- people's textile obsession is starting to freak me out here -- in his office hours, and Nate and the baby -- um -- dropped in and got to hear about harpy-killing and knitting.
LACEY: Is that appropriate conversation around a small child? Well, it's probably safer than putting a small child within earshot of you.
KATCHOO: Do I need to point out that you're within reach of me? Reno came by with coffee and to find out if he had detention for the rest of his life. Unless you hand-picked that coffee yourself, this morning, roasted it over the burning bones of virgins, and --
LACEY: Oh, stop. Please. Just stop.
KATCHOO: What? All I'm saying is he should've put in some cinnamon rolls to sweeten the deal, too.
LACEY: Oh, okay. That makes sense.
KATCHOO: See?
LACEY: Did we just agree? Oh, gosh, we did. Let's never let that happen again.
KATCHOO: Yeah, let's just keep that between us and EVERYBODY TUNED IN TO THE BROADCAST, why don't we?
LACEY: Mmmmph.
KATCHOO: Now she's quiet. Like the office was. And the library, where Claudia had crabs.
LACEY: Um.
KATCHOO: The kind with claws, you dimwit. Geez, now who has the dirty mind?
LACEY: It's you. And your evil creepy insidious corrupting influence.
Dorms, Where Harpies Feared to Tread
KATCHOO: No, see, to have a corrupting influence on people I'd actually have to give a *feedback*ing *feedback*. Arthur was shooting the crap out of a target with a crossbow on the range today --
LACEY: (singing) Home, home on the --
*shrieks of squirrelly horror*
KATCHOO: SHUT IT. ALL OF YOU. Romeo cleaned his gun and watched Arthur show off, and Dean came down to clean his guns, get in some practice, and talk to Arthur about hunting, and I don't care how literal all of this is, do you see the innate frikkin' maleness at work here? Geez.
LACEY: Filthy mind. See? Jack was there too, doing target practice with a slingshot, and I'm just going to go on here before you get Freudian on me about that. Dinah slept in late and got woken up by a call from home. Aww, that's nice. Getting calls from home. Knowing people care about you. Miss you when you're gone. All of that. It's so sweet.
KATCHOO: You're so sad. Cry me a frikkin' river. Really. Leto was writing a letter home, and got in a fight with Arthur over harpy-killing and crap, and then Arthur stomped off. Heh. Kaylee was installing a new light fixture in her room --
LACEY: Oooh, I was thinking of doing that in the diner!
KATCHOO: -- and fussing over Ned and his harpy injury and oh god, gag me. John watched disaster movies, which sounds more like it, and Jaina came by to get flirty with him. Nothing says romance like imminent lava doom.
LACEY: That sounds a lot like my last relatio -- ahem. Nobody heard that, okay?
KATCHOO: Hey, furballs. You got that on tape, right?
*chittering*
LACEY: Oh, boy.
Town -- Is It Still Covered In Harpy Droppings?
LACEY: Simon< was in at the clinic, where Daisy stopped in to have her harpy wounds looked at. Millie was at Book Haven, Helen calmed the horses down at The Gig, and Peyton was blasting music at Groovy Tunes, where Tony Foster checked in to see how the store was holding up after the big fight yesterday. Sarah was doing paperwork at Android's Dungeon, and Reno came in to talk about security guard discounts and harpies.
KATCHOO: Harpies. Hot conversation topic. Mothers-in-law everywhere only wish they got this much lip service. Lucky for me it was quiet at Strokes of Genius today, except for the music. Good stuff.
LACEY: I'm sure that had nothing to do with your stellar customer service skills. Murdock was shooting paper balls at the trash can at the Freelance Police HQ, and Eliza was in at Covent Garden Flowers when Tully brought the shiny new store sign by. Priestly was explaining to my staff at Luke's why he was late today -- it's okay, Priestly, you're not in trouble, promise! Hurley came in for a sandwich, and Priestly told him why he doesn't like fight club. Wait, you named a sandwich that?
KATCHOO: Does it ever hurt to be that clueless, Lacey? I have to wonder. Dinah, who's living proof that hyper is a superpower, came in after boomerang practice on the beach with Sokka --
LACEY: -- where Tully stopped to talk harpy attacks with her --
KATCHOO: DO YOU MIND? I'M TALKING HERE! And Claudia thought the harpies were worse than the talking frog. Yeah, anything that flings crap has the natural edge in that contest.
LACEY: Can you stop bringing that up? I just had dinner.
KATCHOO: Stop bringing what up? The harpies or the crap-flinging? Because they were getting some pretty impressive range with the --
LACEY: Okay, ew. Also ew, Gunther's apparently in love, so Hoshi was rolling her eyes a lot at the Arms Hotel. Let's hope that wasn't literal. Jack stopped in to tell her about yesterday's fighting.
KATCHOO: It would've been gross if it was literal, because if he came in and stepped on --
LACEY: Moving on, thank you very much. In much less revolting news, Johnny and Savannah had a date on the boardwalk. Tony was working on lights at The Boards, and Mac stopped by to help and got a tour for it.
KATCHOO: Innit marvy how art brings people together? Robin was tending the bar at Caritas tonight, and Deadpool came in to talk about how this week is better than last week. Uh, yeah, maybe if you get real drunk and squint . . . or maybe it's just me. She told Fraser she wasn't serving him water, which I guess sucks for him if he was dehydrated. Mary came in for a club soda, and Robin told her about the cruise and getting kidnapped and geez, I wish that sentence actually sounded weird to me. I -- I'm not reading that. Here.
LACEY: Oooooooookay. Claudia was in a bradigan -- a what? -- much to Robin's delight. I don't get it.
KATCHOO: Par for the course with you. Even with a handicap. Ben Reilly came in for a beer. Woo. And that's it.
LACEY: That's it? That's all you're going to say is that's it?
KATCHOO: I could say more, but you'd just *feedback* and *feedback* and *feedback* about anything else I came up with and I'm not in the mood to put up with that tonight.
LACEY: Or, you know, ever.
KATCHOO: Or that. Besides, why should I bother when you keep taking over to do your saccharine cutesy thing?
LACEY: It's not . . . *sigh* And that's all for tonight, folks. Thanks so much for tuning in! On behalf of Little Miss Enigmatic Crankypants, this is Lacey Burrows wishing you all a lovely evening. Good night!
KATCHOO: *exaggerated retching sounds*
LACEY: Oh, grow up, you great big --
*click*