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fandom_radio2009-01-15 03:32 am
inthereflexes.livejournal.com) wrote in fandom_radio2009-01-15 03:32 am
Fandom Radio, Wednesday, January 15
Fandom Radio, Wednesday, January 14, 2009.
Hello everyone out in Fandom! This is Jack Burton with the radio news for today. Which is Wednesday. Wednesday the 14th, in 2009, if you haven't heard for those of you who aren't from around here. Or around when. Around wren. Welcome! you should go out and meet people. I met someone today, so should you!
*chittering*
This... is... not... Seriously, where did you guys learn to write? And get those fedora hats? And the--ow! Okay, I'll read the notes! Just stop throwing things.
School
Where hopefully there aren't any rodents throwing nuts at you. Hey! Ow! I'm reading! I'm reading! Let's see...
The Hero class learned about sounding heroic. And shouted catchphrases at each other after grivking at the lecture. No, that's what it says. Oh. Gawk. That makes more sense. And there was a door No? Dora? The Dora? Oh. Adora. Right. Who names their kid Door, that'd be a---oh, there is? Uh, nevermind. Adora who is not named anything silly is the TA. And there was shouting that included my Big Brother and my roommate. But not at each other. Hi, Robin!
Leadership class learned about different types of leads. Leaders. Hey! Stop throwing those-- *sounds of a struggle and some microphone feedback* Okay. I'm back on the Burton News Express talking about leadership. And people paired off and discussed what worked. And apparently Itchy-Go threatened Lee and his manly manly arms with--uh...I'm not reading the rest of that. But my Little Brother bossed Lee around.
Anthro...pornorfic... uh... Anthro.... the Anatomy class talked about teeth and discussed if putting chemicals in the water to make the teeth stronger is a good thing. I'm not sure the solution to teeth in the water is to make the teeth stronger. That sounds like it'll clog up the pipes and make a mess.
Sam opened up the Library and talked with Dean over fried foods about Alec and Bobby and then Peter came in with chocolate covered coffee beans and who cares what they talked about because now I want some chocolate covered coffee beans. Ow! Stop throwing things! Like you don't want chocolate covered coffee beans.
*silence*
No, that's a bad idea. Back to the news so I can get that idea out of my head. Professor Dana--hey, I'm in her class--was watching Sports Night in her office. Also with office hours were Minsksk and Boo who were trying to fight squirrels--I know what you mean--hey! Ow! Don't make me start a betting pool. I don't know who this Boo is but I would bet five dollars...that...the squirrel would win and I don't even want to know where you got that tiny lead pipe but you can stop waving it around.
Dorms
Well, that washing machine strike is still on. And the bathroom stalls, and the coffee maker. What's next? NO, THAT WASN'T A THREAT. Oh, great. *headdeskTHUNK* Let's get this over with before the lights on the island start demanding concessions in Morse Code or something.
First off is the best common room, the Second Floor Common Room which had Tony and Blysse and Blind Seer and they watched Darkest Night and--where was I? That's a great show! Tahiri and Francine were there, and they all discussed laundry issues. I hear you. I'm down to my only clean shirt. And Francine asked if the vampires on TV were shirtless yet, and then Francine, Tahiri, and Tony discuss their clothing problems.
Elsewhere, in common rooms that are less cool, such as the Fifth Floor, there is a Turtle in pajamas. Hurley came in, not happy about the laundry machines--no kidding, who is, right?--and then Marco showed up in only underwear. Wait. No, boxers and a Hawaiian shirt. I think I've had that nightmare, and it's the day of the test, and I can't read Greek. And then Hurley and Marco talk about vending services and to make sure Marco is no longer a vendor. Must have a business.
There was Cheerleader practice earlier today, which included stretching and warmups. Hannibal asked Angela about her date and .... and the squirrels are holding up signs. I don't even want to know why they're misspelling "top". Possibly "pot" because I think I'm getting a contact buzz or something just being here. Squirrels. Here.Right. Moving along, more news. Let's see. There were more discussions about Dean who is not Priestly and Priestly who is not Dean and how some Big Siblings are very protective and then art. *squeak* Sorry, Art. *squeak* ART! And then the cheerleaders got down to business--sorry, BUSINESS and then there was a COACH and the AUDIENCE named NED.
And in other places around the DORMS were other STUDENTS. WHY AM I YELLING? Dor--seriously? Am I missing something here? Do we have someone named Windw or Flor? Aflora? Cuz there's a Dor and an Adora and....You're kidding me, they're roommates? That's awesome! Not as awesome as my roommate, but...yeah. Back to the notes. Adorador talked about a Crackberry and shoe trees. And then Prince Edward is shirtless and then Dinah brings him hot pants. I...do not want to know. Some of the squirrels are looking kinda mad. Dinah, watch out. Or Prince Edward. Maybe both. I'm just going to move on from that.
*rustling papers* ...and here's something about Hoshi--Hi Hoshi!---and...good, nothing about Porthos. I swear, that dog is out to get me worse than the squirrels. Ow! Hey! Keep your nuts out of my face! Stop throwing things! So. News. Amber showed up and Hoshi was in her underwear...and Amber talked about being flirty. I'll say. And a double date. And her boyfriend. Amber has a boyfriend? Hurley visited as well and asked Hoshi to not be so mean to Penelope. Why? Was she in her underwear as well? *rustles papers* I don't see anything in here. Moving on.
Town
Hoo, boy. There is a stack of papers here you gotta see to believe. Except you can't, because this is radio, not television, which I know the difference of because I'm in a class on it. Television. Not the differences of...and I'm going to move on into the part where I talk about what happened in town today.
First off, there was an exhibit at the York Galleries and Tully is early and volunteers to help. Angela and Cal talk about how awesome Greek stuff is, Tully and Daisy talked about how cold the exhibit looked, about decorating his boat, and about crocodiles. Wait. Crocodiles? That's part of the exhibit? Mary and Charlotte talked about spinning ice and tea. And... why are you holding up a "tea, dammit!" sign? That doesn't make any sense. And look at me, talking to myself, talking about talking squirrels that talk and take notes and spy on everyone like some sort of rodent reporter crew and I'm going to talk about cold things some more, okay? Like Cal and Claire talking about Michigan. I've been there. It's cold. Really cold. And really messed up. You can't turn left on any road. Against the law. I don't know how you can drive in a place that has the largest town called the Motor City and not make any lefts. But they have igloos. And Claire in a used sweater. At the exhibit, not in Michigan.
Elsewhere, Ino opened up the gun store that doesn't sell guns. They also sell meditation there, but I don't think it works, either. Someone wearing shabby chick gave a fruit basket...that's what it says. You wrote it, that's what it says. "Shabby Chic". Sheik? Well, then, learn to spell! Why is it pronounced Sheik when it's spelled Chick? Anyways, Cable came down later to get his fruitbasket from the sheik. *squeaks and rustles* There's a magazine on Shabby Chic? Lemme see that. *flips pages* This... people pay for this? Fo-ox antique? Distressed? Hang on, I'm writing this down. I could be making money every trash day by picking up coffee tables and calling it vintage distressed tablewear. Gimme a pen. Okay, this'll work. *SQUEAK* Okay, okay, I'll just write it on the back. *SQUEAK* Fine! I'll read the notes on the front. Quickly.
Johnny opened up the diner--they have good burgers--and didn't get involved as the staff fought.
Amber opened Turtle and Canary while in a bad mood, Dinah came in and bought some underwear and talked with Priestly and then bought the hot pants that I talked about earlier--see, I remember this stuff--and no one brought me a Squishy. That's the important part.
Lessee...Liir opened up Cafe Fina, Abby Irene was at juhgob, and--THAT'S HOW IT'S SPELLED--and someone opened up the Strokes of Genius and I'd like to tell you who but this is all written in scribbly writing like someone was in a hurry. Or scared. At the Perk, there was Missus Harker who talked to me and seems like a nice lady and also talked with Tully. Priestly went to Everything Butt Monkey and--what? That's what it says. Evytng Butt Munky. What? That's a "the" in there? Well, that changes things. Everything But The Monkey. I want a monkey. Why can't I have a monkey? I bet they have a monkey there but it's like a mascot or something. They have a flying squirrel--really? Is that how you guys tell what's happening? You can fly? No? Oh. Well, Priestly has one and Dinah is happy for him. And Itchygo has a rat at the Coyote place but no notes if he was happy about it. Edmund opened up The Gig. Huh. Okay. That's done. Now. About this Shabby Chic thing...
...there's more? That stack wasn't here a minute ago! *chittering* Fine!
Caritas. *pause....and then angry chittering* ...yeah. *Jack spoke rapidly* Penelope opened Caritas and people were singing about afternoon delights and the Humpty Dumpty dance and the YMCA and the--no, I don't want to play Charades--and about holding on and institutions. Followed by drinking! Drinking is good. I think I'm going to do that when I leave here. Loki was at the bar learning new words, as was Sarah. No notes on what the new words are. Claudia was wearing a pants suit and apparently did it wrong and right. Huh? And... there's a sketch.... and... it's really colorful. There's another note that says it looks crazy but on Claudia it looks good. I think. I think that squirrel is drunk. Which is what I need to be right about now. But back at Caritas, Claudia talked with Penelope and with Priestly and then Penelope and Priestly talked about swearing. Cussing. Oh. Cursing. Really? She doesn't seem the type to swear. Huh. Angela talked to Penelope, and talked about the engagement. Angela's engaged? *Chitter* Penelope? *more chitter* Wait. They're engaged to each other? *Jack's next statement was cut short by angry chatter and sound of nuts flying at Jack's head. Again.* I'm not talking about any more engagements! Cuz *paper scrabbly sounds* someone lost a bet to Loki and had to sing. See? Reading the news. News reading. Back to business. I'm a broadcaster and a professional and I can handle this. Wait. I do get paid, right? Right? No? Aw, crap. I'm reading more news.
The toilet at the Android's Dungeon had a talking-to by Sarah. Claire opened the thrift shop and that's probably where she got that sweater. Naomi opened Stark Industries and had a visitor in the shape of me. Dale at the stationhouse was taking complaints about bathroom stalls, Ray kicked a toilet and got all washed up and Daisy said things weren't dull. That's true. And...*papershuffle* Jeff was in a closet at the hotel. The squirrels are making gestures. I'm not touching whatever that is. They look vicious.
Martha opened up the Clinic--that's where Missus Harker works!--and the guy who owns the shop that doesn't do anything was wearing Spandex and had a visitor talking about ust and Liefield icons, so--not sure what that means, but the squirrels are shaking their heads. I...don't want to know.
Lindsay kicked her washer--yeah!--and then Tyler kicked the washer. It's nice they take turns. Nothing written if the washer kicked back.
Murdock has a special evening planned at the lighthouse for Abby Irene. Aww.
Robin-not-the-roommate started to cook and ordered pizza--good choice, I can hear my stomach rumbling--and Fraser came over in pain. That's not good. Perhaps you need to go to the clinic? They have two doctors. Jones and Tam. That's what I've heard.
That's it? That's it! Well, thanks for listening to the Fandom News with your host, Jack Burton.
*sound of chair squeaking and paper rustling. Jack's voice was getting quieter as he walked away*
That wasn't so bad. And all this time I thought you all hated me--ow! Hey! Stop! ow! That hit me in the face! Leggo my hair!
*rapidly retreating footsteps*
Hello everyone out in Fandom! This is Jack Burton with the radio news for today. Which is Wednesday. Wednesday the 14th, in 2009, if you haven't heard for those of you who aren't from around here. Or around when. Around wren. Welcome! you should go out and meet people. I met someone today, so should you!
*chittering*
This... is... not... Seriously, where did you guys learn to write? And get those fedora hats? And the--ow! Okay, I'll read the notes! Just stop throwing things.
School
Where hopefully there aren't any rodents throwing nuts at you. Hey! Ow! I'm reading! I'm reading! Let's see...
The Hero class learned about sounding heroic. And shouted catchphrases at each other after grivking at the lecture. No, that's what it says. Oh. Gawk. That makes more sense. And there was a door No? Dora? The Dora? Oh. Adora. Right. Who names their kid Door, that'd be a---oh, there is? Uh, nevermind. Adora who is not named anything silly is the TA. And there was shouting that included my Big Brother and my roommate. But not at each other. Hi, Robin!
Leadership class learned about different types of leads. Leaders. Hey! Stop throwing those-- *sounds of a struggle and some microphone feedback* Okay. I'm back on the Burton News Express talking about leadership. And people paired off and discussed what worked. And apparently Itchy-Go threatened Lee and his manly manly arms with--uh...I'm not reading the rest of that. But my Little Brother bossed Lee around.
Anthro...pornorfic... uh... Anthro.... the Anatomy class talked about teeth and discussed if putting chemicals in the water to make the teeth stronger is a good thing. I'm not sure the solution to teeth in the water is to make the teeth stronger. That sounds like it'll clog up the pipes and make a mess.
Sam opened up the Library and talked with Dean over fried foods about Alec and Bobby and then Peter came in with chocolate covered coffee beans and who cares what they talked about because now I want some chocolate covered coffee beans. Ow! Stop throwing things! Like you don't want chocolate covered coffee beans.
*silence*
No, that's a bad idea. Back to the news so I can get that idea out of my head. Professor Dana--hey, I'm in her class--was watching Sports Night in her office. Also with office hours were Minsksk and Boo who were trying to fight squirrels--I know what you mean--hey! Ow! Don't make me start a betting pool. I don't know who this Boo is but I would bet five dollars...that...the squirrel would win and I don't even want to know where you got that tiny lead pipe but you can stop waving it around.
Dorms
Well, that washing machine strike is still on. And the bathroom stalls, and the coffee maker. What's next? NO, THAT WASN'T A THREAT. Oh, great. *headdeskTHUNK* Let's get this over with before the lights on the island start demanding concessions in Morse Code or something.
First off is the best common room, the Second Floor Common Room which had Tony and Blysse and Blind Seer and they watched Darkest Night and--where was I? That's a great show! Tahiri and Francine were there, and they all discussed laundry issues. I hear you. I'm down to my only clean shirt. And Francine asked if the vampires on TV were shirtless yet, and then Francine, Tahiri, and Tony discuss their clothing problems.
Elsewhere, in common rooms that are less cool, such as the Fifth Floor, there is a Turtle in pajamas. Hurley came in, not happy about the laundry machines--no kidding, who is, right?--and then Marco showed up in only underwear. Wait. No, boxers and a Hawaiian shirt. I think I've had that nightmare, and it's the day of the test, and I can't read Greek. And then Hurley and Marco talk about vending services and to make sure Marco is no longer a vendor. Must have a business.
There was Cheerleader practice earlier today, which included stretching and warmups. Hannibal asked Angela about her date and .... and the squirrels are holding up signs. I don't even want to know why they're misspelling "top". Possibly "pot" because I think I'm getting a contact buzz or something just being here. Squirrels. Here.Right. Moving along, more news. Let's see. There were more discussions about Dean who is not Priestly and Priestly who is not Dean and how some Big Siblings are very protective and then art. *squeak* Sorry, Art. *squeak* ART! And then the cheerleaders got down to business--sorry, BUSINESS and then there was a COACH and the AUDIENCE named NED.
And in other places around the DORMS were other STUDENTS. WHY AM I YELLING? Dor--seriously? Am I missing something here? Do we have someone named Windw or Flor? Aflora? Cuz there's a Dor and an Adora and....You're kidding me, they're roommates? That's awesome! Not as awesome as my roommate, but...yeah. Back to the notes. Adorador talked about a Crackberry and shoe trees. And then Prince Edward is shirtless and then Dinah brings him hot pants. I...do not want to know. Some of the squirrels are looking kinda mad. Dinah, watch out. Or Prince Edward. Maybe both. I'm just going to move on from that.
*rustling papers* ...and here's something about Hoshi--Hi Hoshi!---and...good, nothing about Porthos. I swear, that dog is out to get me worse than the squirrels. Ow! Hey! Keep your nuts out of my face! Stop throwing things! So. News. Amber showed up and Hoshi was in her underwear...and Amber talked about being flirty. I'll say. And a double date. And her boyfriend. Amber has a boyfriend? Hurley visited as well and asked Hoshi to not be so mean to Penelope. Why? Was she in her underwear as well? *rustles papers* I don't see anything in here. Moving on.
Town
Hoo, boy. There is a stack of papers here you gotta see to believe. Except you can't, because this is radio, not television, which I know the difference of because I'm in a class on it. Television. Not the differences of...and I'm going to move on into the part where I talk about what happened in town today.
First off, there was an exhibit at the York Galleries and Tully is early and volunteers to help. Angela and Cal talk about how awesome Greek stuff is, Tully and Daisy talked about how cold the exhibit looked, about decorating his boat, and about crocodiles. Wait. Crocodiles? That's part of the exhibit? Mary and Charlotte talked about spinning ice and tea. And... why are you holding up a "tea, dammit!" sign? That doesn't make any sense. And look at me, talking to myself, talking about talking squirrels that talk and take notes and spy on everyone like some sort of rodent reporter crew and I'm going to talk about cold things some more, okay? Like Cal and Claire talking about Michigan. I've been there. It's cold. Really cold. And really messed up. You can't turn left on any road. Against the law. I don't know how you can drive in a place that has the largest town called the Motor City and not make any lefts. But they have igloos. And Claire in a used sweater. At the exhibit, not in Michigan.
Elsewhere, Ino opened up the gun store that doesn't sell guns. They also sell meditation there, but I don't think it works, either. Someone wearing shabby chick gave a fruit basket...that's what it says. You wrote it, that's what it says. "Shabby Chic". Sheik? Well, then, learn to spell! Why is it pronounced Sheik when it's spelled Chick? Anyways, Cable came down later to get his fruitbasket from the sheik. *squeaks and rustles* There's a magazine on Shabby Chic? Lemme see that. *flips pages* This... people pay for this? Fo-ox antique? Distressed? Hang on, I'm writing this down. I could be making money every trash day by picking up coffee tables and calling it vintage distressed tablewear. Gimme a pen. Okay, this'll work. *SQUEAK* Okay, okay, I'll just write it on the back. *SQUEAK* Fine! I'll read the notes on the front. Quickly.
Johnny opened up the diner--they have good burgers--and didn't get involved as the staff fought.
Amber opened Turtle and Canary while in a bad mood, Dinah came in and bought some underwear and talked with Priestly and then bought the hot pants that I talked about earlier--see, I remember this stuff--and no one brought me a Squishy. That's the important part.
Lessee...Liir opened up Cafe Fina, Abby Irene was at juhgob, and--THAT'S HOW IT'S SPELLED--and someone opened up the Strokes of Genius and I'd like to tell you who but this is all written in scribbly writing like someone was in a hurry. Or scared. At the Perk, there was Missus Harker who talked to me and seems like a nice lady and also talked with Tully. Priestly went to Everything Butt Monkey and--what? That's what it says. Evytng Butt Munky. What? That's a "the" in there? Well, that changes things. Everything But The Monkey. I want a monkey. Why can't I have a monkey? I bet they have a monkey there but it's like a mascot or something. They have a flying squirrel--really? Is that how you guys tell what's happening? You can fly? No? Oh. Well, Priestly has one and Dinah is happy for him. And Itchygo has a rat at the Coyote place but no notes if he was happy about it. Edmund opened up The Gig. Huh. Okay. That's done. Now. About this Shabby Chic thing...
...there's more? That stack wasn't here a minute ago! *chittering* Fine!
Caritas. *pause....and then angry chittering* ...yeah. *Jack spoke rapidly* Penelope opened Caritas and people were singing about afternoon delights and the Humpty Dumpty dance and the YMCA and the--no, I don't want to play Charades--and about holding on and institutions. Followed by drinking! Drinking is good. I think I'm going to do that when I leave here. Loki was at the bar learning new words, as was Sarah. No notes on what the new words are. Claudia was wearing a pants suit and apparently did it wrong and right. Huh? And... there's a sketch.... and... it's really colorful. There's another note that says it looks crazy but on Claudia it looks good. I think. I think that squirrel is drunk. Which is what I need to be right about now. But back at Caritas, Claudia talked with Penelope and with Priestly and then Penelope and Priestly talked about swearing. Cussing. Oh. Cursing. Really? She doesn't seem the type to swear. Huh. Angela talked to Penelope, and talked about the engagement. Angela's engaged? *Chitter* Penelope? *more chitter* Wait. They're engaged to each other? *Jack's next statement was cut short by angry chatter and sound of nuts flying at Jack's head. Again.* I'm not talking about any more engagements! Cuz *paper scrabbly sounds* someone lost a bet to Loki and had to sing. See? Reading the news. News reading. Back to business. I'm a broadcaster and a professional and I can handle this. Wait. I do get paid, right? Right? No? Aw, crap. I'm reading more news.
The toilet at the Android's Dungeon had a talking-to by Sarah. Claire opened the thrift shop and that's probably where she got that sweater. Naomi opened Stark Industries and had a visitor in the shape of me. Dale at the stationhouse was taking complaints about bathroom stalls, Ray kicked a toilet and got all washed up and Daisy said things weren't dull. That's true. And...*papershuffle* Jeff was in a closet at the hotel. The squirrels are making gestures. I'm not touching whatever that is. They look vicious.
Martha opened up the Clinic--that's where Missus Harker works!--and the guy who owns the shop that doesn't do anything was wearing Spandex and had a visitor talking about ust and Liefield icons, so--not sure what that means, but the squirrels are shaking their heads. I...don't want to know.
Lindsay kicked her washer--yeah!--and then Tyler kicked the washer. It's nice they take turns. Nothing written if the washer kicked back.
Murdock has a special evening planned at the lighthouse for Abby Irene. Aww.
Robin-not-the-roommate started to cook and ordered pizza--good choice, I can hear my stomach rumbling--and Fraser came over in pain. That's not good. Perhaps you need to go to the clinic? They have two doctors. Jones and Tam. That's what I've heard.
That's it? That's it! Well, thanks for listening to the Fandom News with your host, Jack Burton.
*sound of chair squeaking and paper rustling. Jack's voice was getting quieter as he walked away*
That wasn't so bad. And all this time I thought you all hated me--ow! Hey! Stop! ow! That hit me in the face! Leggo my hair!
*rapidly retreating footsteps*