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fandom_radio2009-01-07 10:28 pm
laceycantlie.livejournal.com) wrote in fandom_radio2009-01-07 10:28 pm
Fandom Radio, January 7
LACEY: -- that you guys want me on the radio after that whole thing with the traps and the anti-squirrel posters and the --
*chittering of an unmistakably smug variety*
LACEY: We're on the air?
*squirrelly laughter*
LACEY: . . . oh. Of course. Hi, Fandom! Lacey Burrows here, with all the news that's fit to --
*squeak and slam of a door opening and closing*
KATCHOO: You're on the radio, genius. Stop smiling so hard; they can't see how nuts you are anyway.
LACEY: Oh, it's you.
KATCHOO: Nice to see you too. And here I was hoping it'd be forever. This is supposed to be my gig. Go away.
LACEY: Oh, please. Who'd want to listen to you instead of me?
*beep beep bzzt!*
KATCHOO: Go play with the squirrels or somethin'.
LACEY: . . . what is that?
KATCHOO: Never mind. Put those notes where I can see 'em, will ya?
School, Where You Do That Academic Thing . . . In Theory
LACEY: Okay. What was going on today? Leadership did introductions and had to decide who's really in charge of the class. That's a trick question, isn't it?
KATCHOO: Depends. Is it working on you?
LACEY: Excuse me, what do you take me for?
KATCHOO: You really wanna know?
LACEY: . . . Heroing met for the first time, too, and got lectured -- loudly -- about how awesome Captain Hammer is. Captain Hammer? Is that a stage name?
KATCHOO: No, you ditz, it's a hero name. Like they had to come up with, and make up a symbol to stick on their shirts, too. What the frikkin' --
*bzzt beep BOOOOOOOOOOOP!*
LACEY: Captain Hammer showed off his super strength for Sokka -- is that a clock?
KATCHOO: Sadly. Its superpower is annoying the crap out of me. Annoying alarm.
LACEY: Oooh, that's alliterative.
KATCHOO: No, it's assonant.
LACEY: Excuse you. It's still kind of like Anthropomorphic Anatomy, where they did introductions and Chris scored the TA job.
KATCHOO: No word on how.
LACEY: Okay, ew. Sam got banana bread in the library today -- oooh, I should make some soon -- and got a visit from Dean, who told him about how Captain Hammer looks like the principal's best friend.
KATCHOO: Just in case any more of you new kids hadn't had it sink in yet, that happens around here, comprende? Peter was there to give Sam some sugar, and I'm not just talkin' about the coffee and donuts. Different kind of breakfast food for Dr. Jones the librarian, who had his office overrun with bananas. Note to newbies: yeah, that was probably literal. Like Minsc trying to work transformation magic on his syllabus. Deal.
LACEY: Aww, I love the first week of classes. It's so exciting.
KATCHOO: Yeah? You wanna take mine, then?
LACEY: Please. You probably take classes in how to be an insufferable little -- *beep beep bzzt beeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEp!* You're taking her side?
KATCHOO: It just wants to avoid getting kicked tomorrow.
Dorms, Where Katchoo's Alarm Clocks Go to Die. Except This One.
KATCHOO: Savannah was setting up the gym for cheerleading practice today -- aw geez, my cohost is doing the idiot grin again, she thinks it's neat. She would. People did the warming up thing, except Joan and Kaylee. Okay, maybe they were warming up and doing the kumbaya getting to know each other thing at the same time, I don't know. There was practicing. During practice. Imagine that. And cheerleading business, while Coach Ronon -- not Irish -- and the audience watched. Ah, voyeurism.
LACEY: You make it sound so unattractive.
KATCHOO: You are warped in the head.
*bweeeeeeeeeeeep!*
LACEY: Aw, thanks, clock. I'm so glad you're on my side. Oh! My new employee's in this next set of notes! Priestly was making steak and cheese subs in the second floor common room today, and awww. He's practicing for work! I like dedicated employees. They're neat. Angela got a sandwich and figured out who Priestly was based on hearsay, then talked to him about conspiracy theories. Don't listen to the dishwasher tomorrow, Priestly! Speaking of conspiracy theories, Prince Edward thought Priestly had something to do with the hag who stole Giselle away, not that it stopped him from talking to Priestly about true love.
KATCHOO: Guys. What are you gonna do?
LACEY: Jack discussed moldy cheese with Priestly -- there is no moldy cheese in the fridge at Luke's. I swear.
KATCHOO: Say it a little louder, why don't ya? Just in case anybody else was still tempted to believe it -- ow! Frikkin' clock!
*beeeeep-thbphhhhhhhhhhhht*
*chittering*
LACEY: Your alarm clock just tried to chest-bump a squirrel. Now I've seen it all. K-Mart and Priestly remembered each other's names, and K-Mart got a sandwich. You know, Priestly, I've got this idea for a theme sandwich . . . I should run it by you sometime.
KATCHOO: What, is your diner Disneyland? Spare me. Ben was floating in the pool fully clothed --
LACEY: Triela wondered if he fell in, but hey, whatever floats your boat.
KATCHOO: Oh my god. Dumb*feedback*.
*BWEEEEOOP!*
KATCHOO: All right, geez! Ender hung out poolside with him, and . . . I think the squirrel cried on these notes. They're all blotchy.
LACEY: But apparently the conversation was heartbreaking.
KATCHOO: Keep up your sniffly commentary, there's gonna be fingerbreaking, I'm just saying.
LACEY: You wouldn't.
KATCHOO: You wanna try me?
LACEY: . . . moving on. To the second floor common room, where Tony was watching the new episode Darkest Night, featuring Mold Man. I just know Hank is watching this show back in Dog River, somehow. Jack asked him how it was going and how his classes were, Peyton caught up with Tony about Andrew leaving and about Deeeeeeeeeean. I'm just reading it the way it's written here, folks. Fr --
KATCHOO: Hey, give me that! Francine was trying to get people to eat her cookies, and Dinah, Tony, Merlin, and Blysse all stepped up to help and that better not be dirty and . . . okay. She told Jack they were just attacking her with calories. Okay. Did the cookies come alive? Are they made of people?
*bzzt-beep!*
LACEY: Oh, it's too bad you guys can't see her chasing the clock around the studio. Awww, Merlin and Dinah were happy to see each other, and she explained bad TV to him. That's so sweet . . . Tony explained the show to Dinah, who was trying to guess who the bad guy was, and told Merlin that Darkest Night isn't great television, but yes, that was the TV.
*CRASH*
KATCHOO: OW, SONOFA--
LACEY: I love karma. Blysse and Blind Seer dropped in to talk to Tony about classes and watch the episode, and Blysse promised Merlin that the wolf in the common room wouldn't bite. She asked Jack how he was doing, and blew Dinah's mind a little when she explained that Blind Seer's not a dog. Wow, that's a lot of talking going on during a TV show.
KATCHOO (wheezing): Pssht. There's more commercial breaks than actual show these days, or do you just watch that stupid Yule Log on tape all year?
LACEY: I don't have to answer that.
KATCHOO: Oh, you just did. Ha. Emmett ran into Sookie on the way back from a walk in the preserve. Yeah, getting out of the dorms is always a good idea.
LACEY: I'm sure everybody else thanks you for leaving when you do. Cal was listening to music and otherwise doing absolutely nothing, as opposed to Johnny and Savannah, who were . . . oh. Oh. I feel like as his boss I shouldn't know these things about his personal life.
KATCHOO: Prude. Blair gave Adora a crash course in language and Blackberries. Yeah, nothing like priorities. *snort* Chad talked to his cat about getting a new cat -- augh, cats -- and Teddy dropped in, but struck out on a chance to meet Chad's new roommate. Molly was browsing the web and listening to punk rock, and that's more like it.
LACEY: Why am I not surprised at you?
KATCHOO: You're not? Huh. Must be losing my touch.
Town, Which Katchoo Feels Sorry For Because Lacey's There
LACEY: Naomi was in at Stark Industries, Ichigo was bored over at Coyote Medicine, and my ever so pleasant cohost and her adorable clock were at work at Strokes of Genius -- obviously hiring her wasn't living up to the name.
KATCHOO: HEY!
*mingled sounds of electronic and squirrelly mirth*
KATCHOO: And no, Harper, there wasn't a frikkin' hidden remote for this thing.
LACEY: You know, you are really rude and unpleasant. At least Liir was in a good mood at Cafe Fina. It'll take all the good moods in the world to balance you out, crankypants.
KATCHOO: Ooooh, "crankypants." Where'd you learn that, last year in third grade?
LACEY: I blame you. And the miserable fog of doom that follows you around, which is different from the fog that Dale was staring into at the police station, that Daisy thought made Fandom seem more like home.
KATCHOO: Miserable fog of doom? What the hell do you take me for, that guy from Dashboard Confessional or something?
LACEY: Oh, you make him look like a ray of sunshine.
*chittering*
KATCHOO: Yeah, yeah, on with the notes, I know, I know. Ino was studying at Wellspring Arms, and got lunch from Liir. Do you always bring people food, Liir? Claire was making sure all the board games had all their pieces at Things Reborn. My cohost here? One Boardwalk card short of a Monopoly deck, I'm telling ya.
LACEY: I like the railroads better anyway. Sarah was drying off at the Android's Dungeon after getting soaked in the rain on her way over, and Loki wanted to know how she wasn't dying of heatstroke. Better than getting a cold, and the soup that Daisy brought Sarah ought to help with that too.
KATCHOO: Never underestimate the healing properties of soup brought to you by beautiful girls. In unrelated news, Amber had a Spamtastic display at Turtle and Canary, where she broke Claudia with a huge frikkin' infodump about Fandom weirdness. Huh. She has an evil side. I might almost be impressed. Jack was drawn to the Spam like moths to a flame or something like that.
LACEY: I have nightmares about Spam. All . . . glistening and pink and . . .
KATCHOO: Gettin' real dirty real fast there. Unlike Toby. Who was wearing a sweater hoodie at Pixie Dust. The squirrels look kinda worried about that. OH HEY, LACEY, YOUR DINER WAS ON FIRE.
LACEY: WHAT?!?
KATCHOO: Oh, sorry, no, it was just Johnny, who got a visit from Savannah that led to plans for things you don't want to know about.
LACEY: Lalalalalalala . . .
KATCHOO: It's so pathetic it's awesome. Jeff rearranged the Arms Hotel fruit bowl and . . . put . . . breasts on special. Don't blame Turtle for wanting to know why. Guys. Geez.
*bweeeeOOP!*
KATCHOO: . . . my alarm clock would think it's a guy. Of course it would. Of course.
LACEY: Sarah spent the night at Tony's, while Deadpool dropped by Cable's for Top Chef and told him about J. Jonah Jameson and his hair, and was way too excited about getting to drive the shuttle last weekend.
KATCHOO: Amazingly nobody ended up in the clinic after that. Lucky Martha, doing inventory to keep herself busy.
LACEY: There's actually a fine art to doing inventory, you know.
KATCHOO: Whatever. Oh hey, it was Elvis night at Caritas. Elvis night with dancing zombies. Dancing zombies with dislocated hips. Note to newbies: also not an exaggeration. Penelope was in a good mood but pretty drunk, as G'Kar and Hurley found out.
LACEY: Romeo and Reno talked about winter break trips and baby . . . chocobos? I have no idea what those are but they sound cute. Penelope was a little slow getting Romeo's drink, but he got it, and Reno was way too excited about getting a drink that'd make him see double. With a cocktail umbrella in it.
KATCHOO: Sometimes you just need a little --
LACEY: Oh, don't say it --
KATCHOO: . . . splash of color.
LACEY: You're evil.
KATCHOO: I try.
*beep bzzt beep boop!*
KATCHOO: Look, you're an alarm clock, not my mother, and I don't listen to her either.
LACEY: One way or another, we're out of news. And the squirrels are trying to give your clock rum.
KATCHOO: Aw, crap!
*clatter of a chair falling over, footsteps, and a long electronic 'squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!' before the door slams shut*
LACEY: Anyway, that's all for tonight, and thanks for putting up with . . . you know, I still don't know her name, but I really appreciate your st --
*click*
*chittering of an unmistakably smug variety*
LACEY: We're on the air?
*squirrelly laughter*
LACEY: . . . oh. Of course. Hi, Fandom! Lacey Burrows here, with all the news that's fit to --
*squeak and slam of a door opening and closing*
KATCHOO: You're on the radio, genius. Stop smiling so hard; they can't see how nuts you are anyway.
LACEY: Oh, it's you.
KATCHOO: Nice to see you too. And here I was hoping it'd be forever. This is supposed to be my gig. Go away.
LACEY: Oh, please. Who'd want to listen to you instead of me?
*beep beep bzzt!*
KATCHOO: Go play with the squirrels or somethin'.
LACEY: . . . what is that?
KATCHOO: Never mind. Put those notes where I can see 'em, will ya?
School, Where You Do That Academic Thing . . . In Theory
LACEY: Okay. What was going on today? Leadership did introductions and had to decide who's really in charge of the class. That's a trick question, isn't it?
KATCHOO: Depends. Is it working on you?
LACEY: Excuse me, what do you take me for?
KATCHOO: You really wanna know?
LACEY: . . . Heroing met for the first time, too, and got lectured -- loudly -- about how awesome Captain Hammer is. Captain Hammer? Is that a stage name?
KATCHOO: No, you ditz, it's a hero name. Like they had to come up with, and make up a symbol to stick on their shirts, too. What the frikkin' --
*bzzt beep BOOOOOOOOOOOP!*
LACEY: Captain Hammer showed off his super strength for Sokka -- is that a clock?
KATCHOO: Sadly. Its superpower is annoying the crap out of me. Annoying alarm.
LACEY: Oooh, that's alliterative.
KATCHOO: No, it's assonant.
LACEY: Excuse you. It's still kind of like Anthropomorphic Anatomy, where they did introductions and Chris scored the TA job.
KATCHOO: No word on how.
LACEY: Okay, ew. Sam got banana bread in the library today -- oooh, I should make some soon -- and got a visit from Dean, who told him about how Captain Hammer looks like the principal's best friend.
KATCHOO: Just in case any more of you new kids hadn't had it sink in yet, that happens around here, comprende? Peter was there to give Sam some sugar, and I'm not just talkin' about the coffee and donuts. Different kind of breakfast food for Dr. Jones the librarian, who had his office overrun with bananas. Note to newbies: yeah, that was probably literal. Like Minsc trying to work transformation magic on his syllabus. Deal.
LACEY: Aww, I love the first week of classes. It's so exciting.
KATCHOO: Yeah? You wanna take mine, then?
LACEY: Please. You probably take classes in how to be an insufferable little -- *beep beep bzzt beeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEp!* You're taking her side?
KATCHOO: It just wants to avoid getting kicked tomorrow.
Dorms, Where Katchoo's Alarm Clocks Go to Die. Except This One.
KATCHOO: Savannah was setting up the gym for cheerleading practice today -- aw geez, my cohost is doing the idiot grin again, she thinks it's neat. She would. People did the warming up thing, except Joan and Kaylee. Okay, maybe they were warming up and doing the kumbaya getting to know each other thing at the same time, I don't know. There was practicing. During practice. Imagine that. And cheerleading business, while Coach Ronon -- not Irish -- and the audience watched. Ah, voyeurism.
LACEY: You make it sound so unattractive.
KATCHOO: You are warped in the head.
*bweeeeeeeeeeeep!*
LACEY: Aw, thanks, clock. I'm so glad you're on my side. Oh! My new employee's in this next set of notes! Priestly was making steak and cheese subs in the second floor common room today, and awww. He's practicing for work! I like dedicated employees. They're neat. Angela got a sandwich and figured out who Priestly was based on hearsay, then talked to him about conspiracy theories. Don't listen to the dishwasher tomorrow, Priestly! Speaking of conspiracy theories, Prince Edward thought Priestly had something to do with the hag who stole Giselle away, not that it stopped him from talking to Priestly about true love.
KATCHOO: Guys. What are you gonna do?
LACEY: Jack discussed moldy cheese with Priestly -- there is no moldy cheese in the fridge at Luke's. I swear.
KATCHOO: Say it a little louder, why don't ya? Just in case anybody else was still tempted to believe it -- ow! Frikkin' clock!
*beeeeep-thbphhhhhhhhhhhht*
*chittering*
LACEY: Your alarm clock just tried to chest-bump a squirrel. Now I've seen it all. K-Mart and Priestly remembered each other's names, and K-Mart got a sandwich. You know, Priestly, I've got this idea for a theme sandwich . . . I should run it by you sometime.
KATCHOO: What, is your diner Disneyland? Spare me. Ben was floating in the pool fully clothed --
LACEY: Triela wondered if he fell in, but hey, whatever floats your boat.
KATCHOO: Oh my god. Dumb*feedback*.
*BWEEEEOOP!*
KATCHOO: All right, geez! Ender hung out poolside with him, and . . . I think the squirrel cried on these notes. They're all blotchy.
LACEY: But apparently the conversation was heartbreaking.
KATCHOO: Keep up your sniffly commentary, there's gonna be fingerbreaking, I'm just saying.
LACEY: You wouldn't.
KATCHOO: You wanna try me?
LACEY: . . . moving on. To the second floor common room, where Tony was watching the new episode Darkest Night, featuring Mold Man. I just know Hank is watching this show back in Dog River, somehow. Jack asked him how it was going and how his classes were, Peyton caught up with Tony about Andrew leaving and about Deeeeeeeeeean. I'm just reading it the way it's written here, folks. Fr --
KATCHOO: Hey, give me that! Francine was trying to get people to eat her cookies, and Dinah, Tony, Merlin, and Blysse all stepped up to help and that better not be dirty and . . . okay. She told Jack they were just attacking her with calories. Okay. Did the cookies come alive? Are they made of people?
*bzzt-beep!*
LACEY: Oh, it's too bad you guys can't see her chasing the clock around the studio. Awww, Merlin and Dinah were happy to see each other, and she explained bad TV to him. That's so sweet . . . Tony explained the show to Dinah, who was trying to guess who the bad guy was, and told Merlin that Darkest Night isn't great television, but yes, that was the TV.
*CRASH*
KATCHOO: OW, SONOFA--
LACEY: I love karma. Blysse and Blind Seer dropped in to talk to Tony about classes and watch the episode, and Blysse promised Merlin that the wolf in the common room wouldn't bite. She asked Jack how he was doing, and blew Dinah's mind a little when she explained that Blind Seer's not a dog. Wow, that's a lot of talking going on during a TV show.
KATCHOO (wheezing): Pssht. There's more commercial breaks than actual show these days, or do you just watch that stupid Yule Log on tape all year?
LACEY: I don't have to answer that.
KATCHOO: Oh, you just did. Ha. Emmett ran into Sookie on the way back from a walk in the preserve. Yeah, getting out of the dorms is always a good idea.
LACEY: I'm sure everybody else thanks you for leaving when you do. Cal was listening to music and otherwise doing absolutely nothing, as opposed to Johnny and Savannah, who were . . . oh. Oh. I feel like as his boss I shouldn't know these things about his personal life.
KATCHOO: Prude. Blair gave Adora a crash course in language and Blackberries. Yeah, nothing like priorities. *snort* Chad talked to his cat about getting a new cat -- augh, cats -- and Teddy dropped in, but struck out on a chance to meet Chad's new roommate. Molly was browsing the web and listening to punk rock, and that's more like it.
LACEY: Why am I not surprised at you?
KATCHOO: You're not? Huh. Must be losing my touch.
Town, Which Katchoo Feels Sorry For Because Lacey's There
LACEY: Naomi was in at Stark Industries, Ichigo was bored over at Coyote Medicine, and my ever so pleasant cohost and her adorable clock were at work at Strokes of Genius -- obviously hiring her wasn't living up to the name.
KATCHOO: HEY!
*mingled sounds of electronic and squirrelly mirth*
KATCHOO: And no, Harper, there wasn't a frikkin' hidden remote for this thing.
LACEY: You know, you are really rude and unpleasant. At least Liir was in a good mood at Cafe Fina. It'll take all the good moods in the world to balance you out, crankypants.
KATCHOO: Ooooh, "crankypants." Where'd you learn that, last year in third grade?
LACEY: I blame you. And the miserable fog of doom that follows you around, which is different from the fog that Dale was staring into at the police station, that Daisy thought made Fandom seem more like home.
KATCHOO: Miserable fog of doom? What the hell do you take me for, that guy from Dashboard Confessional or something?
LACEY: Oh, you make him look like a ray of sunshine.
*chittering*
KATCHOO: Yeah, yeah, on with the notes, I know, I know. Ino was studying at Wellspring Arms, and got lunch from Liir. Do you always bring people food, Liir? Claire was making sure all the board games had all their pieces at Things Reborn. My cohost here? One Boardwalk card short of a Monopoly deck, I'm telling ya.
LACEY: I like the railroads better anyway. Sarah was drying off at the Android's Dungeon after getting soaked in the rain on her way over, and Loki wanted to know how she wasn't dying of heatstroke. Better than getting a cold, and the soup that Daisy brought Sarah ought to help with that too.
KATCHOO: Never underestimate the healing properties of soup brought to you by beautiful girls. In unrelated news, Amber had a Spamtastic display at Turtle and Canary, where she broke Claudia with a huge frikkin' infodump about Fandom weirdness. Huh. She has an evil side. I might almost be impressed. Jack was drawn to the Spam like moths to a flame or something like that.
LACEY: I have nightmares about Spam. All . . . glistening and pink and . . .
KATCHOO: Gettin' real dirty real fast there. Unlike Toby. Who was wearing a sweater hoodie at Pixie Dust. The squirrels look kinda worried about that. OH HEY, LACEY, YOUR DINER WAS ON FIRE.
LACEY: WHAT?!?
KATCHOO: Oh, sorry, no, it was just Johnny, who got a visit from Savannah that led to plans for things you don't want to know about.
LACEY: Lalalalalalala . . .
KATCHOO: It's so pathetic it's awesome. Jeff rearranged the Arms Hotel fruit bowl and . . . put . . . breasts on special. Don't blame Turtle for wanting to know why. Guys. Geez.
*bweeeeOOP!*
KATCHOO: . . . my alarm clock would think it's a guy. Of course it would. Of course.
LACEY: Sarah spent the night at Tony's, while Deadpool dropped by Cable's for Top Chef and told him about J. Jonah Jameson and his hair, and was way too excited about getting to drive the shuttle last weekend.
KATCHOO: Amazingly nobody ended up in the clinic after that. Lucky Martha, doing inventory to keep herself busy.
LACEY: There's actually a fine art to doing inventory, you know.
KATCHOO: Whatever. Oh hey, it was Elvis night at Caritas. Elvis night with dancing zombies. Dancing zombies with dislocated hips. Note to newbies: also not an exaggeration. Penelope was in a good mood but pretty drunk, as G'Kar and Hurley found out.
LACEY: Romeo and Reno talked about winter break trips and baby . . . chocobos? I have no idea what those are but they sound cute. Penelope was a little slow getting Romeo's drink, but he got it, and Reno was way too excited about getting a drink that'd make him see double. With a cocktail umbrella in it.
KATCHOO: Sometimes you just need a little --
LACEY: Oh, don't say it --
KATCHOO: . . . splash of color.
LACEY: You're evil.
KATCHOO: I try.
*beep bzzt beep boop!*
KATCHOO: Look, you're an alarm clock, not my mother, and I don't listen to her either.
LACEY: One way or another, we're out of news. And the squirrels are trying to give your clock rum.
KATCHOO: Aw, crap!
*clatter of a chair falling over, footsteps, and a long electronic 'squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!' before the door slams shut*
LACEY: Anyway, that's all for tonight, and thanks for putting up with . . . you know, I still don't know her name, but I really appreciate your st --
*click*
no subject
[*ded of giggles*]
no subject
Francine was slightly disturbed that she was happy to hear that the clock was making friends.
The whole following Katchoo everywhere and getting drunk with squirrels thing had definitely not been listed on the package. At least not in the English text.