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fandom_radio2008-08-14 11:05 pm
laceycantlie.livejournal.com) wrote in fandom_radio2008-08-14 11:05 pm
Fandom Radio, Thursday (August 14)
*bossy chittering, and the sound of a microphone dragged across the desk by squirrels*
LACEY: Hey, hey, hey! Excuse me, I think I know what I'm doing, okay? I have done this before, you know.
*the most scornful chittering you quite possibly ever heard*
LACEY: Hello! Manners! There is such a thing as decorum, you kn -- *thunk* Ow!
*sound of the door slamming, then a hoarse voice*
KATCHOO: What the *bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep*? I thought I was the only one who got conned into this gig.
LACEY: Excuse me, who are you? And what do you mean, conned? It's really an honor to get to serve your community this way. You know. Like by doing your bit to try and make the airwaves a little more pleasant.
KATCHOO: None of your *bleep*-in' business who I am. Aw, spare me the civics lesson, you airhead Barbara Walters wannabe. Somebody's gotta break it to you, but nobody can see you on the air. Stop with that perky smile, it's creepy and you look like a frikkin' moron. *chorus of squirrel cheers, and a bottle scraping across the desk* Oh, good. There's the booze I got promised for this crap.
LACEY: Yeah? Well, you smell like a barbecue disaster.
School: A Valuable Learning Experience or a Nuisance?
KATCHOO: You want a disaster, I'll give you a disaster. *warning chitters* Aw, fine, fine, geez, I'll earn the stupid booze! Escape Artistry had to get away from natives wearing homespun -- what the *bleep*? -- with their lives, using fancy vests and paintball guns.
LACEY: Yeah, because that's such a useful life skill.
KATCHOO: You wanna find out right now just how useful it can be?
*a chorus of the squirrelly equivalent of "Oooooooooooo!"*
LACEY: Oh, 'cause that's mature. Helen was making herself useful as the TA, at least, and since Ronan gave Friday and Teyla advice, he was obviously fulfilling his teacherly duty of nurturing young minds.
KATCHOO: God, spare me before I hurl.
LACEY: If you absolutely have to, use the trash can over there? I know that's a tough concept for uncivilized people -- like you, not like Jaina who at least had the decency to apologize for missing class last week -- to grasp.
KATCHOO: I'm gonna be grasping your neck in a minute if you keep that up. You oughta consider hiding. The stakes'd be a lot higher than they were in the Hide-and-Go-Seek game they played in Childhood Games today. Hey, Francine's in that class. Bet they were better at hiding than you'd be.
LACEY: You think I can't hide? I could show you just how well I can hide.
KATCHOO: And yet, you're not. Sadly.
LACEY: I am not rising to your bait, you little brat. Just to prove that I'm the better person here, I'm simply going to inform everyone that Jeff brought Turtle, who is a turtle right now, and -- it's like a theme week -- Alice brought Anemone, who's a butterfly, to explain to Lily why they're missing class. Boy, that beats 'the dog ate my homework' any day, huh? *giggling*
KATCHOO: God, that was lame.
LACEY: Your mom is lame.
KATCHOO: You have no idea. Now who's immature?
LACEY: . . . yeah, well . . . Networking to Success put together charity events. Oh, those are fun.
KATCHOO: Those are a joke.
LACEY: I'm not letting your pessimism drag me down. Can't you just look for the fun in things? Like the office did, having a pyjama day?
KATCHOO: What are you, twelve?
LACEY: I don't have to answer that.
KATCHOO: Just keep backin' yourself into a corner, toots. I gotta have some entertainment.
*faint squirrel cheering*
Cabins: Possessed of a Certain Rustic Charm, or A Royal Pain in the )(*&@#$?
LACEY: You're really not a well-adjusted child, are you? If you just got out a little more and socialized, you might be a much more pleasant person.
KATCHOO: You really think you're funny, don't you? It's sad. I'm gonna leave that socializing crap to people like River, because you couldn't pay me to sing and be cheerful at the campfire while I'm barbecuing sandwiches -- what the . . .? -- and apples and crap. Irish came by to swipe marshmallows and plan for 'em to have a dance together at Bridge and Xander's wedding this weekend.
LACEY (wistfully): Awww. I love weddings . . .
KATCHOO: So go get married.
LACEY: Right, because I can do that all by myself.
KATCHOO: Hell, go marry one of the ducks in the pond for all I care, if it'll get you to go away.
LACEY: Feeling sorry for you would be a waste of my energy, so I'm going to feel sorry for poor Bumblebee, out at the main campfire this afternoon with "WASH ME" written on his windshield. And Teddy, who ended up at the campfire by accident and got confused by the . . . car. The car was talking to him.
KATCHOO: Damn shame this is Fandom and I can't tell you to lay off the drugs, innit?
LACEY: I'm being held hostage by squirrels in the radio booth and subject to your verbal abuse. I almost almost wish I had some to lay off.
KATCHOO: Only almost almost? I'm losing my touch. Oh, give me those stupid notes. You're all twitchy. Huh. Liir was hanging out in the shadows and talking to Teddy about the whole annoying crap where we're tryin' to go to the bathroom and end up in the library or whatever. Yeah, I'd *bleep* about that too. He met Bumblebee too, and if you've never heard of cars before, I guess learning about 'em from one's about the best introduction you can get.
*crumpling sounds, like someone snatching a piece of paper*
LACEY: At least Viki was nice enough to tell poor Bumblebee someone came by and wrote on him. Aw, poor thing, he got lost too, that's why he was out by the campfire. Well, there are worse places to end up.
KATCHOO: Mph.
LACEY: Ohohohohohohohoh.
KATCHOO: Shut up. Or just tell people what was going on in the cabins today.
LACEY: Gladly. John was a bunny, and snuggling with Jaina, and then not a bunny any more, and that's in Adorable Panda cabin and awwww. And lemme tell you, Fandom, it was so worth it to say that just to see the look on her face, whoever she is. Poor Karal in Precocious Ponies, though -- he was talking to Evey, but she's still a deer. Oh --
KATCHOO: Finish that pun and I will hurt you.
LACEY: People with no sense of humor are a pain in the -- anyway. In Odd Duck, Romeo was looking for cat food under Dojima's bed, and Ender was studying or drawing or something in Wee Gremlin.
KATCHOO: That's it. Give me the frikkin' bottle. *scolding chitters* Aw, geez!
LACEY: You really could stand to learn a lesson or two from your classmates. Like how to apologize, like Karal did to Jaina on the way to the flight shed. It says here that she sort of accepted, which is more than I'd expect of you.
KATCHOO: Don't hold your breath expecting anything from me.
LACEY: Oh, get lost. *gigglesnorting of supreme dorkiness* Get lost. Oh, I crack myself up.
KATCHOO: Yeah, you're cracked all right.
Town: Community or Just a Bunch of People?
LACEY: No, that's your voice.
KATCHOO: That the best you can do? Don't quit your day job.
LACEY: Yes, well, my day job qualifies me much more than it does you to talk about town stuff.
KATCHOO: You do that then. I'm gonna shake down these squirrels for the *bleep bleep bleeeeeeeeeeeep* rum.
*sounds of a chair scraping against the floor, then panicked chittering and footsteps*
LACEY (loudly, above the racket): Cable was busy with his phone and laptop at Wellspring Arms, and normally I'd say going out and actually meeting people is better, but this week that'll probably backfire on you, like it did for Hoshi on her way to the Arms. Gabriel was grumbling to the cat at the church, but Millie was much more cheerful at Book Haven. That's the spirit, Millie!
*thankfully muffled swearing, a squirrelly screech, and a crash*
LACEY: Oh, I better get finished with this. I don't want to be responsible for the damage.
KATCHOO (yelling in the background): Oh, I'll give you damage, you -- come back here, you little . . . !
LACEY: Anyway. Cable was on the beach with his phone and thought he saw something in the water, but it was Murdock -- hi, Murdock! -- on the beach with his dog and talking to Cable about this week's brand of weirdness. Jamie opened Turtle and Canary, and from these notes I'm going to guess he could have stood to be a little less slovenly.
*more muffled yelling*
*squealing*
*CRASH*
LACEY: Oh boy. Moving on really really quickly, the Doctor came back to the park in the TARDIS, and when you squirrels are done forcing potty-mouth there to appreciate track and field, can you make a note to get more specific with details for these reports? Seriously. Bond was researching the Bermuda Triangle in his office hours, and Murdock was in his office complaining to his dog about getting lost. Luckily, with all this getting hurt, nobody ended up in the clinic, since the nurses had a quiet morning and then got scared off by Igor and his lumpy, moving bag in the evening.
. . . ew.
*yelling in the background, crescendoing into the longest, most desperately bleepy bleep ever*
KATCHOO: HA! Take that, you *bleep bleep bleep*!
LACEY: Well, you got your booze. I hope you're happy now.
KATCHOO: I will be once I get away from you. Aw, screw this, Fandom, I'm outta here.
*footsteps, then the door slamming*
LACEY: Finally. Ladies and gentlemen, I"m just going to take the liberty of speaking for my, er, cohost tonight and hope you all have a wonderful, pleasant, f --
*annoyed chitter*
*CLICK*
*dead air*
[OOC: Yeah, this is what you get when I arrange my entire sleep schedule around the Olympics. Ahem.]
LACEY: Hey, hey, hey! Excuse me, I think I know what I'm doing, okay? I have done this before, you know.
*the most scornful chittering you quite possibly ever heard*
LACEY: Hello! Manners! There is such a thing as decorum, you kn -- *thunk* Ow!
*sound of the door slamming, then a hoarse voice*
KATCHOO: What the *bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep*? I thought I was the only one who got conned into this gig.
LACEY: Excuse me, who are you? And what do you mean, conned? It's really an honor to get to serve your community this way. You know. Like by doing your bit to try and make the airwaves a little more pleasant.
KATCHOO: None of your *bleep*-in' business who I am. Aw, spare me the civics lesson, you airhead Barbara Walters wannabe. Somebody's gotta break it to you, but nobody can see you on the air. Stop with that perky smile, it's creepy and you look like a frikkin' moron. *chorus of squirrel cheers, and a bottle scraping across the desk* Oh, good. There's the booze I got promised for this crap.
LACEY: Yeah? Well, you smell like a barbecue disaster.
School: A Valuable Learning Experience or a Nuisance?
KATCHOO: You want a disaster, I'll give you a disaster. *warning chitters* Aw, fine, fine, geez, I'll earn the stupid booze! Escape Artistry had to get away from natives wearing homespun -- what the *bleep*? -- with their lives, using fancy vests and paintball guns.
LACEY: Yeah, because that's such a useful life skill.
KATCHOO: You wanna find out right now just how useful it can be?
*a chorus of the squirrelly equivalent of "Oooooooooooo!"*
LACEY: Oh, 'cause that's mature. Helen was making herself useful as the TA, at least, and since Ronan gave Friday and Teyla advice, he was obviously fulfilling his teacherly duty of nurturing young minds.
KATCHOO: God, spare me before I hurl.
LACEY: If you absolutely have to, use the trash can over there? I know that's a tough concept for uncivilized people -- like you, not like Jaina who at least had the decency to apologize for missing class last week -- to grasp.
KATCHOO: I'm gonna be grasping your neck in a minute if you keep that up. You oughta consider hiding. The stakes'd be a lot higher than they were in the Hide-and-Go-Seek game they played in Childhood Games today. Hey, Francine's in that class. Bet they were better at hiding than you'd be.
LACEY: You think I can't hide? I could show you just how well I can hide.
KATCHOO: And yet, you're not. Sadly.
LACEY: I am not rising to your bait, you little brat. Just to prove that I'm the better person here, I'm simply going to inform everyone that Jeff brought Turtle, who is a turtle right now, and -- it's like a theme week -- Alice brought Anemone, who's a butterfly, to explain to Lily why they're missing class. Boy, that beats 'the dog ate my homework' any day, huh? *giggling*
KATCHOO: God, that was lame.
LACEY: Your mom is lame.
KATCHOO: You have no idea. Now who's immature?
LACEY: . . . yeah, well . . . Networking to Success put together charity events. Oh, those are fun.
KATCHOO: Those are a joke.
LACEY: I'm not letting your pessimism drag me down. Can't you just look for the fun in things? Like the office did, having a pyjama day?
KATCHOO: What are you, twelve?
LACEY: I don't have to answer that.
KATCHOO: Just keep backin' yourself into a corner, toots. I gotta have some entertainment.
*faint squirrel cheering*
Cabins: Possessed of a Certain Rustic Charm, or A Royal Pain in the )(*&@#$?
LACEY: You're really not a well-adjusted child, are you? If you just got out a little more and socialized, you might be a much more pleasant person.
KATCHOO: You really think you're funny, don't you? It's sad. I'm gonna leave that socializing crap to people like River, because you couldn't pay me to sing and be cheerful at the campfire while I'm barbecuing sandwiches -- what the . . .? -- and apples and crap. Irish came by to swipe marshmallows and plan for 'em to have a dance together at Bridge and Xander's wedding this weekend.
LACEY (wistfully): Awww. I love weddings . . .
KATCHOO: So go get married.
LACEY: Right, because I can do that all by myself.
KATCHOO: Hell, go marry one of the ducks in the pond for all I care, if it'll get you to go away.
LACEY: Feeling sorry for you would be a waste of my energy, so I'm going to feel sorry for poor Bumblebee, out at the main campfire this afternoon with "WASH ME" written on his windshield. And Teddy, who ended up at the campfire by accident and got confused by the . . . car. The car was talking to him.
KATCHOO: Damn shame this is Fandom and I can't tell you to lay off the drugs, innit?
LACEY: I'm being held hostage by squirrels in the radio booth and subject to your verbal abuse. I almost almost wish I had some to lay off.
KATCHOO: Only almost almost? I'm losing my touch. Oh, give me those stupid notes. You're all twitchy. Huh. Liir was hanging out in the shadows and talking to Teddy about the whole annoying crap where we're tryin' to go to the bathroom and end up in the library or whatever. Yeah, I'd *bleep* about that too. He met Bumblebee too, and if you've never heard of cars before, I guess learning about 'em from one's about the best introduction you can get.
*crumpling sounds, like someone snatching a piece of paper*
LACEY: At least Viki was nice enough to tell poor Bumblebee someone came by and wrote on him. Aw, poor thing, he got lost too, that's why he was out by the campfire. Well, there are worse places to end up.
KATCHOO: Mph.
LACEY: Ohohohohohohohoh.
KATCHOO: Shut up. Or just tell people what was going on in the cabins today.
LACEY: Gladly. John was a bunny, and snuggling with Jaina, and then not a bunny any more, and that's in Adorable Panda cabin and awwww. And lemme tell you, Fandom, it was so worth it to say that just to see the look on her face, whoever she is. Poor Karal in Precocious Ponies, though -- he was talking to Evey, but she's still a deer. Oh --
KATCHOO: Finish that pun and I will hurt you.
LACEY: People with no sense of humor are a pain in the -- anyway. In Odd Duck, Romeo was looking for cat food under Dojima's bed, and Ender was studying or drawing or something in Wee Gremlin.
KATCHOO: That's it. Give me the frikkin' bottle. *scolding chitters* Aw, geez!
LACEY: You really could stand to learn a lesson or two from your classmates. Like how to apologize, like Karal did to Jaina on the way to the flight shed. It says here that she sort of accepted, which is more than I'd expect of you.
KATCHOO: Don't hold your breath expecting anything from me.
LACEY: Oh, get lost. *gigglesnorting of supreme dorkiness* Get lost. Oh, I crack myself up.
KATCHOO: Yeah, you're cracked all right.
Town: Community or Just a Bunch of People?
LACEY: No, that's your voice.
KATCHOO: That the best you can do? Don't quit your day job.
LACEY: Yes, well, my day job qualifies me much more than it does you to talk about town stuff.
KATCHOO: You do that then. I'm gonna shake down these squirrels for the *bleep bleep bleeeeeeeeeeeep* rum.
*sounds of a chair scraping against the floor, then panicked chittering and footsteps*
LACEY (loudly, above the racket): Cable was busy with his phone and laptop at Wellspring Arms, and normally I'd say going out and actually meeting people is better, but this week that'll probably backfire on you, like it did for Hoshi on her way to the Arms. Gabriel was grumbling to the cat at the church, but Millie was much more cheerful at Book Haven. That's the spirit, Millie!
*thankfully muffled swearing, a squirrelly screech, and a crash*
LACEY: Oh, I better get finished with this. I don't want to be responsible for the damage.
KATCHOO (yelling in the background): Oh, I'll give you damage, you -- come back here, you little . . . !
LACEY: Anyway. Cable was on the beach with his phone and thought he saw something in the water, but it was Murdock -- hi, Murdock! -- on the beach with his dog and talking to Cable about this week's brand of weirdness. Jamie opened Turtle and Canary, and from these notes I'm going to guess he could have stood to be a little less slovenly.
*more muffled yelling*
*squealing*
*CRASH*
LACEY: Oh boy. Moving on really really quickly, the Doctor came back to the park in the TARDIS, and when you squirrels are done forcing potty-mouth there to appreciate track and field, can you make a note to get more specific with details for these reports? Seriously. Bond was researching the Bermuda Triangle in his office hours, and Murdock was in his office complaining to his dog about getting lost. Luckily, with all this getting hurt, nobody ended up in the clinic, since the nurses had a quiet morning and then got scared off by Igor and his lumpy, moving bag in the evening.
. . . ew.
*yelling in the background, crescendoing into the longest, most desperately bleepy bleep ever*
KATCHOO: HA! Take that, you *bleep bleep bleep*!
LACEY: Well, you got your booze. I hope you're happy now.
KATCHOO: I will be once I get away from you. Aw, screw this, Fandom, I'm outta here.
*footsteps, then the door slamming*
LACEY: Finally. Ladies and gentlemen, I"m just going to take the liberty of speaking for my, er, cohost tonight and hope you all have a wonderful, pleasant, f --
*annoyed chitter*
*CLICK*
*dead air*
[OOC: Yeah, this is what you get when I arrange my entire sleep schedule around the Olympics. Ahem.]
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