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fandom_radio2005-09-30 01:41 am
names-ash.livejournal.com) wrote in fandom_radio2005-09-30 01:41 am
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Fandom Radio, September 29
You're listening to Fandom High's premiere Pirate Radio Station, and this is DJ Ash, the lord and savior of all you ungrateful snot-nosed punks, ready to make you all hail to the King of the airwaves, knuckleheads!
::sound of elephants trumpeting, followed by an explosion, then a hearty Ash laugh::
Here we go, directly into our first segment...
::sounds of kissing, and some excited shouts of "Yes!"::
"Give Me Sugar, Baby!"
Homecoming Tickets are on sale, so make sure to grab yours ASAP.
Jayne Cobb asked George Lass to homecoming, and she said yes. How nice for them. ::yawn::
Jake Gavin continues to be a girl. And I mean that in the literal has boobs and ovaries sorta way, not the "My name is Daniel Jackson" sorta way. ::laughs:: though that might be the same thing.
John Crichton has been flirting with anything that moves. And don't think I didn't hear you kids comparing this behavior to mine. I'm hurt. This kid didn't even sleep with one girl, and you're raising him to my level? Ha!
Jayne and Han got in a fight over Bagoas. This leads to Jayne making out with Phoebe. Han? If I'm following the logic here, can we just get in a big fight sometime? I need me some sugar...
Jayne also went on a date with Elizabeth Swann today... dear god, what are you doing kid, trainning for the woman triathalon or something?
Elizabeth Swann has a new fake fiancee. His name is Hank, and he is blue and furry. I'm gonna need to pour Drain-o in my ear to get rid of that mental image, kids. Ew.
The Doctor is a giant pervert and shops at Pandora's Box. Just thought I should make that very clear.
Homecoming Campaign News:
Posters for Kawalsky's bid as Homecoming... Queen. Right kid, that's just... crazy.
Death, that's the bony one, not the hot one, made cookies for ...it's Homecoming Queen Campaign
Cally throws a party in support of her Homecoming Queen efforts. Three people show up. ::Wah-Wah Trumpet Noise:: Awww, poor baby gonna cry?
George Lass also has cookies advertising her campaign. But only if you can read Swedish Muppetese.
Kawalsky, Homecoming Queen Candidate, also is making an ass of himself for money. This time the sign is for Shep. Apparently you need to give up on Beka, kid. Go home and cry about it like everyone else does in this school.
Kawalsky is also offering match-making services to anyone who doesn't have a homecoming date. How sweet of him. ::yawn::
Moving on!
::sound of School Bell, followed by snoring::
"Academics and the Suckers Who Actually Go To Class"
The Tick talked about the police today in Criminial Justice. Band Practice failed to even accomplish the simple goal of naming their bands. Prof Quayle can't find enough students to run his classes. Poor baby.
Biology recieved a day off thanks to Ms. Sidle's illness. Couldn't have happened to a more deserving girl.
Criminology covered environmental criminal... stuff. Speech was all about trust today. Apparently CJ trusts her students enough to fall asleep during class, too. Speaking of snoring, I'm sure more than a few kids did so through todays Anthropology. No random kisses this week for Dr. Four-Eyes, the poor bastard.
Martial Arts partnered kids up and actual had some fighting. Home Ec has kittens for mascots, and one has a sword. If anybody brings this up in a weapons ban argument, I will personally headbutt you, screwhead.
History of the Ancient World and East Asian History both had essays due today. Good job working them kids hard, Abe.
Mental Disorders were the topic of the day in Abnormal Psychology. I personally am a big fan of nymphomania, Ha!
Today had the first Independay Study Course meeting. Somebody have a clue what exactly they're studying? Independance? Anyone? Bueller?
Look out, Rory Gilmore. Zaphod's Fashion Class is out to design you a sidekick outfit. Given their previous assignment involved space bondage pirates, I hope you feel comfortable in latex and chains. Ooooh, and a whip too. Hear that kids? The King is giving you real good help for your projects... write it down, knuckleheads!
Blah Blah... Quantum Physics talked about innocent bystanders of Time Travel, and Journalism covered elections. There. That boring crap is done and out of the way.
And now the final part of my broadcast tonight...
::trumpet fanfare, and then loud blender whirring, followed by a squelchy splat::
"I'd Drink That For A Dollar!"
Here it is, our very special section of all the random crap that doesn't fit anywhere else, slammed and blended together for your ease of consumption.
The Swedish Chef continues to cook in the cafeteria, and is now endorsing Draco Malfoy for president.
Julian Sark is Missing, Presumed lost in Special Collections. This news item? Boring, presumed a waste of air time. ::sound of toilet flushing::
Kiki sleeps around... in the common rooms, ha! Had you perverted screwheads fooled for a second, didn't I?
Shep responded to Kawalsky's Sandwich Board announcement. Apparently the knucklehead thinks writing signs on Beka Valentine's door about Cally will get him a date. How thick is this kid?
Speaking of thick, Cameron Mitchell spent some time in the gym with Aeryn Sun. You know, the girl who looks exactly like his girlfriend who's dating the guy who looks exactly like him. Seriously, I'm just gonna tackle you kids some day and tattoo your names on your foreheads.
On the subject of tattoos, a bunch of wusses showed up at Red's Tattoo parlor for some henna tats. Come on, grow a pair and get a real one, honestly.
Well, that's all the news that they saw fit to throw on my desk here... If you did something you thought was so very special and it didn't get announced? Cry about it, knucklehead. The King makes the rules around here, at least on these nights.
Any naked female is welcome in my cabin at the Falcon in ten minutes. This is DJ Ash, signing off...
::whirring beeping sound of Pac-Man Dying::
::sound of elephants trumpeting, followed by an explosion, then a hearty Ash laugh::
Here we go, directly into our first segment...
::sounds of kissing, and some excited shouts of "Yes!"::
"Give Me Sugar, Baby!"
Homecoming Tickets are on sale, so make sure to grab yours ASAP.
Jayne Cobb asked George Lass to homecoming, and she said yes. How nice for them. ::yawn::
Jake Gavin continues to be a girl. And I mean that in the literal has boobs and ovaries sorta way, not the "My name is Daniel Jackson" sorta way. ::laughs:: though that might be the same thing.
John Crichton has been flirting with anything that moves. And don't think I didn't hear you kids comparing this behavior to mine. I'm hurt. This kid didn't even sleep with one girl, and you're raising him to my level? Ha!
Jayne and Han got in a fight over Bagoas. This leads to Jayne making out with Phoebe. Han? If I'm following the logic here, can we just get in a big fight sometime? I need me some sugar...
Jayne also went on a date with Elizabeth Swann today... dear god, what are you doing kid, trainning for the woman triathalon or something?
Elizabeth Swann has a new fake fiancee. His name is Hank, and he is blue and furry. I'm gonna need to pour Drain-o in my ear to get rid of that mental image, kids. Ew.
The Doctor is a giant pervert and shops at Pandora's Box. Just thought I should make that very clear.
Homecoming Campaign News:
Posters for Kawalsky's bid as Homecoming... Queen. Right kid, that's just... crazy.
Death, that's the bony one, not the hot one, made cookies for ...it's Homecoming Queen Campaign
Cally throws a party in support of her Homecoming Queen efforts. Three people show up. ::Wah-Wah Trumpet Noise:: Awww, poor baby gonna cry?
George Lass also has cookies advertising her campaign. But only if you can read Swedish Muppetese.
Kawalsky, Homecoming Queen Candidate, also is making an ass of himself for money. This time the sign is for Shep. Apparently you need to give up on Beka, kid. Go home and cry about it like everyone else does in this school.
Kawalsky is also offering match-making services to anyone who doesn't have a homecoming date. How sweet of him. ::yawn::
Moving on!
::sound of School Bell, followed by snoring::
"Academics and the Suckers Who Actually Go To Class"
The Tick talked about the police today in Criminial Justice. Band Practice failed to even accomplish the simple goal of naming their bands. Prof Quayle can't find enough students to run his classes. Poor baby.
Biology recieved a day off thanks to Ms. Sidle's illness. Couldn't have happened to a more deserving girl.
Criminology covered environmental criminal... stuff. Speech was all about trust today. Apparently CJ trusts her students enough to fall asleep during class, too. Speaking of snoring, I'm sure more than a few kids did so through todays Anthropology. No random kisses this week for Dr. Four-Eyes, the poor bastard.
Martial Arts partnered kids up and actual had some fighting. Home Ec has kittens for mascots, and one has a sword. If anybody brings this up in a weapons ban argument, I will personally headbutt you, screwhead.
History of the Ancient World and East Asian History both had essays due today. Good job working them kids hard, Abe.
Mental Disorders were the topic of the day in Abnormal Psychology. I personally am a big fan of nymphomania, Ha!
Today had the first Independay Study Course meeting. Somebody have a clue what exactly they're studying? Independance? Anyone? Bueller?
Look out, Rory Gilmore. Zaphod's Fashion Class is out to design you a sidekick outfit. Given their previous assignment involved space bondage pirates, I hope you feel comfortable in latex and chains. Ooooh, and a whip too. Hear that kids? The King is giving you real good help for your projects... write it down, knuckleheads!
Blah Blah... Quantum Physics talked about innocent bystanders of Time Travel, and Journalism covered elections. There. That boring crap is done and out of the way.
And now the final part of my broadcast tonight...
::trumpet fanfare, and then loud blender whirring, followed by a squelchy splat::
"I'd Drink That For A Dollar!"
Here it is, our very special section of all the random crap that doesn't fit anywhere else, slammed and blended together for your ease of consumption.
The Swedish Chef continues to cook in the cafeteria, and is now endorsing Draco Malfoy for president.
Julian Sark is Missing, Presumed lost in Special Collections. This news item? Boring, presumed a waste of air time. ::sound of toilet flushing::
Kiki sleeps around... in the common rooms, ha! Had you perverted screwheads fooled for a second, didn't I?
Shep responded to Kawalsky's Sandwich Board announcement. Apparently the knucklehead thinks writing signs on Beka Valentine's door about Cally will get him a date. How thick is this kid?
Speaking of thick, Cameron Mitchell spent some time in the gym with Aeryn Sun. You know, the girl who looks exactly like his girlfriend who's dating the guy who looks exactly like him. Seriously, I'm just gonna tackle you kids some day and tattoo your names on your foreheads.
On the subject of tattoos, a bunch of wusses showed up at Red's Tattoo parlor for some henna tats. Come on, grow a pair and get a real one, honestly.
Well, that's all the news that they saw fit to throw on my desk here... If you did something you thought was so very special and it didn't get announced? Cry about it, knucklehead. The King makes the rules around here, at least on these nights.
Any naked female is welcome in my cabin at the Falcon in ten minutes. This is DJ Ash, signing off...
::whirring beeping sound of Pac-Man Dying::
no subject
[decides against it, seeing as he's the one who's getting laid tonight]
no subject
no subject