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fandom_radio2008-05-14 10:55 pm
laceycantlie.livejournal.com) wrote in fandom_radio2008-05-14 10:55 pm
Fandom Radio, Wednesday, May 14
*a chorus of smug chittering that doesn't quite drown out the sound of Squirrels being played at high volume*
*shuffling, squeaked protests, and a thud like someone being pushed into a chair*
Okay, okay! Get your unsanitary little paws off me, you twerps! I've done this sort of thing before. It's not like I don't know what I'm -- *FEEDBACK* Ow! Well, it got you to back off for a second, didn't it? I know what I'm doing, I told you!
*derisive chittering*
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now pay attention: this is how you do it. *clearing throat* Hi, Fandom! This is Lacey Burrows on WT -- seriously? -- WTFH. Wow, I thought that was just a joke but it's really the call letters and -- *whistling sound, like an acorn flying by the mic* You're lucky your aim is off. Oh, wow, I'm on the radio! This is so exciting. *more derisive chittering* What are you laughing at? It's always exciting, okay?
Workshops: Is There One On How to Build a Better Squirrel Trap?
You know, education never takes a holiday. I once wrote an essay on the -- *thunk of acorn against skull* Ow! Well, you probably don't need to know about that anyway. Networking For Success, with Lana on hand to TA for Mr. Petrelli, learned about how to introduce themselves to each other while shaking hands, which is actually a lot more difficult than it sounds. Honestly. Ever tried to introduce yourself to a farmer? Boy, let me tell you, you need to be on your toes for that. If they've been mucking out the stables and you don't know it . . .
*rather rude squirrel sounds*
Okay, there's really no need for the demonstration. No, really. Please?
Mad Kings and Queens did introductions too, and -- aww, Alice didn't know what a TA is, although Reno obviously did, since he wanted to know if there were perks involved, and Savannah entered the TA lottery too.
No word on whether Adah had to win a lottery for the TA job for Paranoia and First Aid, which learned about . . . paranoia, go figure. Squirrels work the news beat, the island travels around the world, and we have summer camp workshops on mental disorders. I'm never complaining that Saskatchewan is boring, ever again. Kind of makes you wonder if they introduced themselves by claiming everybody was out to get them, but at least they tried to figure out if there's an upper limit on paranoia.
*chittering*
Why didn't you go hang around outside that class some more and find out the answer there, instead of sitting there staring at me like that? You won't get any answers out of me!
Galactic Vacationing went to London and got shot at by mannequins and what kind of classes do you people have here?!? Everybody got a chance to look around, even though Gwen and Jenny are from around there and weren't so impressed, so it would be like me going to see the SkyDome or something.
*chittering*
Give it up. I'm not calling it the Rogers Centre. Toby and Kevin were confused but pretty -- boy, you squirrels have a weird sense of priority when it comes to getting the important details -- and then most of the class ran from the evil mannequins. I cannot believe I just said that with a straight face. Not that you can see me on the radio, which is good because there's this really awfully spelled note about having to stop evil Santa Clauses and if you saw the face I was making right now . . . well, anyway. Nobody got hurt, since the Doctor stopped the scenario and told them the class is about surviving. Surviving vacation? Remind me not to use that travel agent. Or accept any free prize vacations ever again. Jenny wanted to know if running away from someone with a gun is wise, Marco wanted to know if he could wear less clothes to class next time, Seely asked the Doctor about his fight with Harriet Jones, Michael wanted to know if he'd ever be able to get home, and when Liir asked if this is a typical occurrence all over the universe, the Doctor said 'sort of, but not exactly.' I could be paraphrasing. I don't know how accurate these -- *thunk* Ow!
Cabins, Which Could Really Use A Few Interior Decorating Touches
And now we're moving on to what everybody was doing in the cabins, and wow, squirrels, that's kind of creepy and did anyone ever tell you about personal boundaries?
*wee squirrelly laughter*
. . . of course not. Cal was in the gym -- oh, hi, Cal! -- and it got awkward when Cassandra tried to sneak in and he noticed. See, the thing about being sneaky is --
*chittering not at all unlike heckling*
When I want your opinion I'll ask for it. Actually what I'm asking you to do is take spelling lessons. Ino was sprawled out by the Caelum campfire and talked to Cassandra about why she's been busy.
Inara wasn't having much luck with the Little Dipper campfire, but Kaylee helped her out and they talked about being from different parts of the same galaxy and now I know the squirrels are going way overboard with the creative license here. Jaina wanted to know if Inara was having fun yet, and maybe when Inara threatened to braid her hair while she was sleeping it was code, and she's really on to you nosy little rodents. *thunk* Ow! Kaylee and Jaina met and talked about how weird the island is, and that's a conversation that could go on forever. Worf, which I'm sure is a slaughtering of someone's name but it's all I have to work with, told Jaina she could stay even though she's not in that cabin. Wow, Worf's like the campfire police. The Dog River PD could use a lesson or two, but don't tell them I said that. Worf also suggested more firewood to Inara, who wanted a blowtorch. I'm beginning to think you're all a little bit terrifying.
. . . oh, look, a little normalcy in the Ursa Major cabin, where Meg was all set up for the Top Model finale and was unimpressed by the American Idol judges with Isabel. Canadian Idol's better. Not that I watch it. Really. Wyatt thought Whitney looked the least breakable, and talked to Isabel about why she was their favorite model. Anders had no luck trying to get Isabel or Meg to change the channel to a baseball game even if he did try to bribe them with cupcakes. Try something a little more fancy next time, will you? We've got some nice dessert options down at L --
*thunk*
Have you never heard of a commercial break? Sheesh! And Lana cheered on the plus-size model.
Turtle emailed her employees about a meeting on Saturday, and Jeff wanted to know if he could sleep in her bed at some point that might be now, but I feel like I missed it just now.
Town, Where There's -- Actually a Lot Going On
Savannah was out at Serenity Cove talking to my newest employee, Johnny, about the difference between madness and ambition. Things might have been a little of both down at the York Gallery, where Charlotte had Dale checking in about the new exhibit and talking to Renee about Charlotte, and I can see how gossip is a really risky thing in this town, no thanks to certain acorn-hoarding -- *thunk*
Ow.
Murdock checked in to see how opening day was going, and Cal, Isabel, Adah, and Hinata stopped in too. Amber and Caldiscussed art and Nathan and Charlotte discussed Greece, but Renee told Charlotte the artwork was very nude, and I'm going to guess she's not a professional art critic. Mary told Charlotte it was an eyebrow raiser. I don't think you missed your true calling as an art critic either, Mary. George Michael and Mary talked about . . . eloping with Gunther? Boy, that could get complicated. Wait, no. Squirrels? I'm suggesting penmanship lessons too. Amber stuck to the refreshments, which . . . could have been complicated.
Wellspring Arms was pretty busy for Ino today, too, with Cable told her that he named the baby Jan. Baby? Do I have to start putting together gift baskets? Lana and Ino caught up on things and talked about the new kids, Hoshi told Ino about exploring with a nice Greek boy last week and used the meditation room. Worf -- I'm really sorry if I'm butchering your name! It's not my fault! asked about the meditation room and then promised the plants he wouldn't disturb them.
. . . I'm sure that's not as weird as it sounds. I talk to my plants all the time.
*chittering*
No, I'm not repeating that, I don't care if you've heard me!
Dale was on duty at the Trooper Station, and . . . people! Things were really quiet for Teyla at Groovy Tunes, Johnny at the Photo Hut, or George Michael . . . wait, really? At the banana stand. Is that any way to support your local businesses? Maybe we should do something to build community spirit.
Like this! This is better. At Cafe Fina, Liir got a visit from Andrew, except that . . . Liir curled up in a ball on the floor and Andrew ran away. Liir came to apologize to Andrew at the Magic Box later, though, so that's . . . not exactly what I had in mind by better? Mary asked Stanley about airline tickets to Vegas at the Arms. That's a little more like it. Gee-Kar checked up on Amber at Turtle and Canary, and I like seeing people take an interest in how their local hardworking . . . workers are doing.
Faith was behind the bar at Caritas tonight, and if they have wine in actual bottles instead of boxes I may have to stop there soon. It's been a while, okay? Marshall talked to her about being new in town, and Tony agreed with her about liking things nice and easy and I'm . . . not touching that one. Renee told Faith she stopped drinking, but at this rate I'm going to have to take up her slack. It might be the only way I can get to sleep without seeing hundreds of beady eyes and bushy tails staring at me. Logan was there, sniffing Stark which I'm going to assume for my own sanity is a squirrel figure of speech and -- ordering a Canadian beer! Even if we're Greece at the moment. So much better than American beer. Z ordered a Coke and did not use a fake ID even if Logan was a horrible role model who ought to be ashamed of himself for thinking she should. Luckily, it looks like Z is secure enough not to cave in to peer pressure, since she didn't take Faith up on the offer of something stronger. Way to go, Z. Or whatever your name really is, because I bet the squirrels are just trying to spite me.
Over at the Mauvaise Chance Apartments, Xander and Willow were practicing sign language at each other, and Mike and Gee-Kar watched basketball. Elsewhere, Cable and Deadpool, who sound like a Vegas stage magic act, introduced the baby to America's Next Top Model.
*sounds of scribbling* Right. Note to self: Include copy of Nutrition Is Fun! in theoretical gift basket.
*rustling of papers*
And while, yes, I did open the diner today, hire Johnny, and serve Murdock a whole lot of food, there is absolutely no truth to the rumor that there were squirrels protesting outside, is there, you little --
*five seconds of "Squirrels" playing really loudly, then a brief scuffle before the music stops*
No. Truth. At. All. Jim got a visit from Juli during his office hours today, and River talked to Kerrigan about being at her funeral -- you squirrels reeeeeeeeeeeeeally think I'm gullible, don't you?
*chittering*
Don't answer that. Bond brought her scotch, and Roy brought ice cream. Why don't you guys bring me ice cream?
*chittering, and the thunk of a bottle*
. . . is that rum? Give me that.
*chorus of loud, angry chitters*
Hey! I did all the talking here! I deserve a drink! Oh, no! Get away from that microphone! Don't you even touch that until I do a proper si --
*increasingly loud chittering and scuffling, a click, then dead air*
*shuffling, squeaked protests, and a thud like someone being pushed into a chair*
Okay, okay! Get your unsanitary little paws off me, you twerps! I've done this sort of thing before. It's not like I don't know what I'm -- *FEEDBACK* Ow! Well, it got you to back off for a second, didn't it? I know what I'm doing, I told you!
*derisive chittering*
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now pay attention: this is how you do it. *clearing throat* Hi, Fandom! This is Lacey Burrows on WT -- seriously? -- WTFH. Wow, I thought that was just a joke but it's really the call letters and -- *whistling sound, like an acorn flying by the mic* You're lucky your aim is off. Oh, wow, I'm on the radio! This is so exciting. *more derisive chittering* What are you laughing at? It's always exciting, okay?
Workshops: Is There One On How to Build a Better Squirrel Trap?
You know, education never takes a holiday. I once wrote an essay on the -- *thunk of acorn against skull* Ow! Well, you probably don't need to know about that anyway. Networking For Success, with Lana on hand to TA for Mr. Petrelli, learned about how to introduce themselves to each other while shaking hands, which is actually a lot more difficult than it sounds. Honestly. Ever tried to introduce yourself to a farmer? Boy, let me tell you, you need to be on your toes for that. If they've been mucking out the stables and you don't know it . . .
*rather rude squirrel sounds*
Okay, there's really no need for the demonstration. No, really. Please?
Mad Kings and Queens did introductions too, and -- aww, Alice didn't know what a TA is, although Reno obviously did, since he wanted to know if there were perks involved, and Savannah entered the TA lottery too.
No word on whether Adah had to win a lottery for the TA job for Paranoia and First Aid, which learned about . . . paranoia, go figure. Squirrels work the news beat, the island travels around the world, and we have summer camp workshops on mental disorders. I'm never complaining that Saskatchewan is boring, ever again. Kind of makes you wonder if they introduced themselves by claiming everybody was out to get them, but at least they tried to figure out if there's an upper limit on paranoia.
*chittering*
Why didn't you go hang around outside that class some more and find out the answer there, instead of sitting there staring at me like that? You won't get any answers out of me!
Galactic Vacationing went to London and got shot at by mannequins and what kind of classes do you people have here?!? Everybody got a chance to look around, even though Gwen and Jenny are from around there and weren't so impressed, so it would be like me going to see the SkyDome or something.
*chittering*
Give it up. I'm not calling it the Rogers Centre. Toby and Kevin were confused but pretty -- boy, you squirrels have a weird sense of priority when it comes to getting the important details -- and then most of the class ran from the evil mannequins. I cannot believe I just said that with a straight face. Not that you can see me on the radio, which is good because there's this really awfully spelled note about having to stop evil Santa Clauses and if you saw the face I was making right now . . . well, anyway. Nobody got hurt, since the Doctor stopped the scenario and told them the class is about surviving. Surviving vacation? Remind me not to use that travel agent. Or accept any free prize vacations ever again. Jenny wanted to know if running away from someone with a gun is wise, Marco wanted to know if he could wear less clothes to class next time, Seely asked the Doctor about his fight with Harriet Jones, Michael wanted to know if he'd ever be able to get home, and when Liir asked if this is a typical occurrence all over the universe, the Doctor said 'sort of, but not exactly.' I could be paraphrasing. I don't know how accurate these -- *thunk* Ow!
Cabins, Which Could Really Use A Few Interior Decorating Touches
And now we're moving on to what everybody was doing in the cabins, and wow, squirrels, that's kind of creepy and did anyone ever tell you about personal boundaries?
*wee squirrelly laughter*
. . . of course not. Cal was in the gym -- oh, hi, Cal! -- and it got awkward when Cassandra tried to sneak in and he noticed. See, the thing about being sneaky is --
*chittering not at all unlike heckling*
When I want your opinion I'll ask for it. Actually what I'm asking you to do is take spelling lessons. Ino was sprawled out by the Caelum campfire and talked to Cassandra about why she's been busy.
Inara wasn't having much luck with the Little Dipper campfire, but Kaylee helped her out and they talked about being from different parts of the same galaxy and now I know the squirrels are going way overboard with the creative license here. Jaina wanted to know if Inara was having fun yet, and maybe when Inara threatened to braid her hair while she was sleeping it was code, and she's really on to you nosy little rodents. *thunk* Ow! Kaylee and Jaina met and talked about how weird the island is, and that's a conversation that could go on forever. Worf, which I'm sure is a slaughtering of someone's name but it's all I have to work with, told Jaina she could stay even though she's not in that cabin. Wow, Worf's like the campfire police. The Dog River PD could use a lesson or two, but don't tell them I said that. Worf also suggested more firewood to Inara, who wanted a blowtorch. I'm beginning to think you're all a little bit terrifying.
. . . oh, look, a little normalcy in the Ursa Major cabin, where Meg was all set up for the Top Model finale and was unimpressed by the American Idol judges with Isabel. Canadian Idol's better. Not that I watch it. Really. Wyatt thought Whitney looked the least breakable, and talked to Isabel about why she was their favorite model. Anders had no luck trying to get Isabel or Meg to change the channel to a baseball game even if he did try to bribe them with cupcakes. Try something a little more fancy next time, will you? We've got some nice dessert options down at L --
*thunk*
Have you never heard of a commercial break? Sheesh! And Lana cheered on the plus-size model.
Turtle emailed her employees about a meeting on Saturday, and Jeff wanted to know if he could sleep in her bed at some point that might be now, but I feel like I missed it just now.
Town, Where There's -- Actually a Lot Going On
Savannah was out at Serenity Cove talking to my newest employee, Johnny, about the difference between madness and ambition. Things might have been a little of both down at the York Gallery, where Charlotte had Dale checking in about the new exhibit and talking to Renee about Charlotte, and I can see how gossip is a really risky thing in this town, no thanks to certain acorn-hoarding -- *thunk*
Ow.
Murdock checked in to see how opening day was going, and Cal, Isabel, Adah, and Hinata stopped in too. Amber and Caldiscussed art and Nathan and Charlotte discussed Greece, but Renee told Charlotte the artwork was very nude, and I'm going to guess she's not a professional art critic. Mary told Charlotte it was an eyebrow raiser. I don't think you missed your true calling as an art critic either, Mary. George Michael and Mary talked about . . . eloping with Gunther? Boy, that could get complicated. Wait, no. Squirrels? I'm suggesting penmanship lessons too. Amber stuck to the refreshments, which . . . could have been complicated.
Wellspring Arms was pretty busy for Ino today, too, with Cable told her that he named the baby Jan. Baby? Do I have to start putting together gift baskets? Lana and Ino caught up on things and talked about the new kids, Hoshi told Ino about exploring with a nice Greek boy last week and used the meditation room. Worf -- I'm really sorry if I'm butchering your name! It's not my fault! asked about the meditation room and then promised the plants he wouldn't disturb them.
. . . I'm sure that's not as weird as it sounds. I talk to my plants all the time.
*chittering*
No, I'm not repeating that, I don't care if you've heard me!
Dale was on duty at the Trooper Station, and . . . people! Things were really quiet for Teyla at Groovy Tunes, Johnny at the Photo Hut, or George Michael . . . wait, really? At the banana stand. Is that any way to support your local businesses? Maybe we should do something to build community spirit.
Like this! This is better. At Cafe Fina, Liir got a visit from Andrew, except that . . . Liir curled up in a ball on the floor and Andrew ran away. Liir came to apologize to Andrew at the Magic Box later, though, so that's . . . not exactly what I had in mind by better? Mary asked Stanley about airline tickets to Vegas at the Arms. That's a little more like it. Gee-Kar checked up on Amber at Turtle and Canary, and I like seeing people take an interest in how their local hardworking . . . workers are doing.
Faith was behind the bar at Caritas tonight, and if they have wine in actual bottles instead of boxes I may have to stop there soon. It's been a while, okay? Marshall talked to her about being new in town, and Tony agreed with her about liking things nice and easy and I'm . . . not touching that one. Renee told Faith she stopped drinking, but at this rate I'm going to have to take up her slack. It might be the only way I can get to sleep without seeing hundreds of beady eyes and bushy tails staring at me. Logan was there, sniffing Stark which I'm going to assume for my own sanity is a squirrel figure of speech and -- ordering a Canadian beer! Even if we're Greece at the moment. So much better than American beer. Z ordered a Coke and did not use a fake ID even if Logan was a horrible role model who ought to be ashamed of himself for thinking she should. Luckily, it looks like Z is secure enough not to cave in to peer pressure, since she didn't take Faith up on the offer of something stronger. Way to go, Z. Or whatever your name really is, because I bet the squirrels are just trying to spite me.
Over at the Mauvaise Chance Apartments, Xander and Willow were practicing sign language at each other, and Mike and Gee-Kar watched basketball. Elsewhere, Cable and Deadpool, who sound like a Vegas stage magic act, introduced the baby to America's Next Top Model.
*sounds of scribbling* Right. Note to self: Include copy of Nutrition Is Fun! in theoretical gift basket.
*rustling of papers*
And while, yes, I did open the diner today, hire Johnny, and serve Murdock a whole lot of food, there is absolutely no truth to the rumor that there were squirrels protesting outside, is there, you little --
*five seconds of "Squirrels" playing really loudly, then a brief scuffle before the music stops*
No. Truth. At. All. Jim got a visit from Juli during his office hours today, and River talked to Kerrigan about being at her funeral -- you squirrels reeeeeeeeeeeeeally think I'm gullible, don't you?
*chittering*
Don't answer that. Bond brought her scotch, and Roy brought ice cream. Why don't you guys bring me ice cream?
*chittering, and the thunk of a bottle*
. . . is that rum? Give me that.
*chorus of loud, angry chitters*
Hey! I did all the talking here! I deserve a drink! Oh, no! Get away from that microphone! Don't you even touch that until I do a proper si --
*increasingly loud chittering and scuffling, a click, then dead air*
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