Fandom Radio :: Monday, February 11th.

[stocksgrrl.livejournal.com]

Jeff: Hello everyone. It's radio day! And I'm here!

Turtle: And, so am I! Although, unlike my hapless cohost and boyfriend, that's quite the norm, isn't it?

Jeff: I really enjoy being here. Vastly. For one thing, there's no chocolate, and Karal isn't yelling at me.

Turtle: ...now would be a bad time to mention that I brought some of the candies I pick up at the store earlier, then, wouldn't it?

Jeff: ...Candies? I don't think I can look at candies again, Turtle, all I can hear is the bleating.

Turtle: Uh-huh. Chocolates. 'Cause we've got lots at the store. At very reasonable prices, for all your Valentine's Day needs.

Jeff: ...those poor sheep...

Turtle: ......What do shee-- Uhhh, never mind. Let's just get to the news, shall we?



SCHOOL

Jeff: Sam's at the flirtary as usual and Dean brings lunch as usual and like my girlfriend does and then Peter has a flirt and a go-to-the-Valentine's-dance urging. And then Maths class was about taxes! I don't know why the squirrel's shuddering, it's important. Like Leer knows 'cos he asks Mister Beaubier about tax forms in other dimensions and then I apologised to the professor for missing class last week 'cos of the whole falling into a locker and getting chased by transvestites thing. He says it could happen to anyone.

Turtle: Which is a terrifying thought.

Jeff: World Mythology talks about Korean myths! Union Hoshi asks Michael to the dance, which I'm not certain is actually Korean, but he agreed. Which really was sort of a given considering she's a woman. And then they talked about Heesick and Daaaaahl Soon.

Turtle: Is Daaaaaaaaaahl Soon a distant relative of G'kaaaaaahr and D'Aaaaaaargo? In Criminal Justice today, Mister Deadpool and Constable Fraser demonstrated with handcuffs, and, I don't care, I'm taking that for what it is because I don't want to damage my poor, poor brain. There was a lot of headtilting, smirking, and shock over the demonstration, which I can't understand what for, because it was nothing but a very vital and important thing to learn. They then partnered up to practice what they learned. Best Employee Ever Sora and Reasonably Okay Roommate of my Boyfriend Peter were there for their TA duties (and I think it would have been funny if they had to be handcuffed to each other), and Michael offers to help Constable Fraser next time, because, ooh, look at him, he can open locks. So can just about half this school. Big whoop-de-do. Plus, Constable Fraser can totally take care of himself. Because he's pretty much made of awesome. Even if his hat is kinda silly. He can't help that, though. He's Canadian.

Jeff: You shouldn't discriminate other people for their cultural bits. That's unfair. He really can't help wearing a hat.

Turtle: I'm not discriminating! I'm sympathizing! The Inventrowhosowhatsits students got to work on their sketches for their inventrowhosowhatsits and compare. Jaina seemed a little on the edge before snarking at Victor about his invention, which, really, isn't very nice. That's my little brother there, you know. And Andrew and Liir are all cute at each other. Ew, in class? They talk about going to the dance and training and doing stuff instead of, you know, DOING THEIR CLASSWORK. Liir then had questions about his material components for Miss TA Willow, probably because he doesn't PAY ATTENTION IN CLASS, and then he bugs Mister Glitch, too, and I hope he was all, "Well, Liir, if you paid attention in class instead of being all cute with your boyfriend, blah blah blah." Victor also asked for help, probably because Jaina was distracting him in class, so at least it's not his fault.

Jeff: Victor makes me a bit nervous.

Turtle: Psh. That just means his Big Sis trained him well. Choose your Own Government talks about crime and punishment within governments. This does not sit well with Gwynn or Evey, but they are calmed and comforted a bit by Eve (without the Y) and Karal, respectively. And then they have to get stuck in a cell, figure out what they did to get there, and then figure out how to get out. Evey (with the Y) is there for TA duty, and Karal explained why he's been missing class, part of which we are all putting well, well behind us, right, Jeff?

Jeff: I would very much appreciate any sort of behind-putting anyone would be willing to do. I get a bit tense about the whole thing. And then Mister Suresh, Mister Cannon and Mister Bond all have their office hours, but no one comes by.

Turtle: In the faculty lounge, someone set up bribes of doughnuts and pastries to get the crazy adults to chaperon the Valentine's Day Masquerade. Mwa ha ha. Miss Atreides brought in some leftover food to share. And the ofyce es sryk wyt a splling veros....wait. What? I don't know. I blame the moose.

Jeff: Don't you kick moose?

Turtle: I most certainly do.

Jeff: You should offer your services.

Turtle: No, not yet. I'm still just a Junior Moose Kicker. Woe.

DORMS

Jeff: So Liz is in her room, staring at the-- were you careful with that? It's better to leave those at a distance. Trust me. You don't want to be around when your mother phones. They're dangerous. And then Michael who I still have to explain a few things to writes a letter. Annette-with-the-lungs had some slight breakdown issues - don't get near women when they're emotional - and Evey meets Karal and his horse. Again. Be careful around Karal and horses. And sheep.

Jeff: Amber is trying on a dress. That's nice. And Lana has tea. I wish I had tea.

Turtle: At least it's not coffee.

Jeff: I like tea. It's very refreshing and tends to settle issues.

Turtle: And you're British. You can't help it.

Jeff: It's not like a hat, you know.

Turtle: That's what they all say. Some signs and posters went up around the dorms today, some by Billy in the form of martial arts club cancellation notices and some by Peter of the British Persuasion heralding the WONDERFUL Valentine's Day Masquerade Dance this Friday, brought to you by all of your incredible, amazing Student Council representatives, such as myself. Valentine, who, imagine that, already has his masquerade mask!, Liir, and Adam are excited! Are you? Jack's just worried about getting a date. I'm not! Right, Jeff?

Turtle: Meg is in the lobby, selling tickets for said dance. Tomorrow's the day to get them, though. That's when I'm selling! You can also order Valentine's Day flowers *cough* at the ticket table *cough*. Isn't that a good idea, Jeff? *cough cough*

Jeff: Do you need a drink of water? Turtle?

Turtle: No, no. I'm quite fine. I just wanted to make sure that everyone realized how *cough* important Valentine's Day flowers are. Y'see? So, anyway, Johnny gets a ticket and some cupcakes and chats with Meg about Savannah's gremlin bite and I guess Dean's thing for goats....I don't know... Bridge approves muchly of the cupcakes and gets himself some tickets, as well. Well, himself and Xander, I imagine. Not just himself himself. You know what I mean.

Jeff: Bridge's got more than one?

Turtle: No, that would mean he's Jamie. Anyway, Mar-- errr, there's a chimpanzee in the Third Floor Common Room, throwing popcorn at the TV. As chimpanzees are wont to do. He is joined, as only seems appropriate, by a turtle. Not the Turtle, of course. This chimpanzee isn't lucky enough, and he's too annoying on Saturdays anyway. Michaelangelo 'talks' to the monkey and then they order pizza. Lucas comes in, only to be assaulted by the popcorn-throwing monkey, but, really, as far as what monkeys can throw, you're getting off pretty good, Lucas. The chimp poses for Amber, because, ugh, roll my eyes and gag me with a spoon, Amber's blonde and cute and this monkey is a total dorkface. Amber, me and you might need to have a little talk about certain monkeys. I say this only because I care about my employees, deeply. Lucas is all "WTF is up with this monkey, Amber, huh?" Everything, Lucas. Trust me. Everything. Meanwhile, Liir positively refuses point-blank to clean up after the monkey. Excuse me a moment while I fall out of my chair laughing my butt off.

Jeff: ...Are you all right? Do I need to catch you when you do that?

Turtle: .....if you really want to.

Jeff: Just say when.

Turtle: Hoshi's in her room, going through her closet, and Jack stops in to hear her gush about going to the dance with Michael. Aww, yay, Hoshi! And it's apparently news that Savannah crashes for sleepy-byes right after her classes. Adam and Eve discuss their Valentine's Day plans and, I'm sorry, but you two, together, will never make me stop giggling. And Valentine...the juggler, not the day....juggles in his room, much to Naminé's approval and they talk about the whole mask thing for the masquerade. He approves, and I sure as heck hope he would! He doesn't even have to do anything to get ready! And Sokka really likes Valentine's balls.

....errr....

...Can I please just forget I said that?

Jeff: No. ... It never goes away.

Turtle: ...Arrrg. Anyway, in news that isn't about Valentine's balls, classtime apparently wasn't enough, since Andrew has more couple-time with Liir, but it did come about because Liir was flying outside Andrew's window and he was threatening not to let him in, which is actually kind of cute, even I have to admit. And Karal visited Andrew, too, to be all blushy-cute about Evey (with the Y). Geez-o-petes, you people are a blushy lot, aren't you?

Jeff: Karal does that. Sometimes I wonder if he'll have enough blood when he finally does the squelchy with someone.

Turtle: Jeff, I don't need to be thinking about anyone doing the squelchy with anyone, let alone Karal who steals pants from midgets.

Jeff: To be totally fair, the sheep was involved, too.

TOWN

Jeff: Annette who has perfectly ordinary lungs is at the beach. Then there's a bunch of shops being opened like the sports shop and the magic shop and Chad's music shop and the banana shop and the church, which is still an odd thing to be opened. And then breasts opens too, and Chad comes by to talk about the Valentine's special which he plans 'round his work 'cos he's good like that. What are we doing for Valentine's?

Turtle: I can't tell you yet. It's a surprise.

Jeff: Okay. And Eve asks about the Valentine's special, too. Then Detective Montoya opens the Trooper Station and tells Agent Cooper about someone visiting from somewhere called Gotham. Then Faith visits Cooper and Detective Montoya tells her all about the fight. I hope she's all right.

Turtle: Pixie Dust is annoyingly busy for Romeo's day, although, I suppose, if people want overpriced clothes for the Valentine's Day Masquerade, that would be the place to go. River stops in to ask about how Romeo has set up the mannequins, I hope that's not dirty, before picking out a gift. Liir brings lunch and talks with Romeo about the dance, and I do hope they're both going, and, if they haven't bought tickets yet, I hope to see them both tomorrow! Dōjima comes in wanting something pretty and possibly looking for Miss Bell's secret stash of booze. Reno and Romeo then rabble about Rikku, and that, my friends, is a lot of R's. R's, not Arrrrrrrg's, although that would be appropriate for Pirate Radio, now, wouldn't it?

Jeff: It makes me feel sort of sad there's no news about G'Kaaaaaaahrrrrrr or D'Aaarrrrrgo today.

Turtle: I completely agree. Michael's down over at Selkie Cove, and isn't it kind of cold for all these people at the beach? It's even colder than that one time Jude and me jumped into the ocean and then I had a cold for about, like, a month, no joke. Anyway, Ino showed up, but there was no jumping into the water in their underwear, there was just a lot of short, snappish bickering. And soup. Over at the Post Office, A.J. and Annette were bickering, too, but it was anything but short and snappish. And it lacked soup. Naomi opened up Sparky's Repairs and Michael stops in to meet her. I think this is probably before the snappy soup fight on the beach, but I'm not sure. Notes are all out of order, or something. Jack was also there, at Sparky's, with a burger for Liz. I'm not sure if Ino's visit to Mister Cable at the Wellspring Arms and Meditation Center is pre- or post-soup bickering, either, but they talk about a friend of Ino's who has powers. Which narrows it down to about, oh, I don't know, most of the island. Triela is also there, to probably pick up more icky gun-like weapons.

Jeff: There are nurses at the clinic. ...Nurses. And Mister Bindo opens the bar late! Just in time to be asked after his age and that whole kidnapping incident by Jaina.

Turtle: Tsk, tsk, Mister Bindo. Bad form. And, at the best store on the island, Turtle & Canary, we learn that Jamie has a long way to go before making it to Employee of the Month, but he did pinky-swear to me that he'll be better. And he did help clean up the store after a certain Disaster that Shall Not Be Mentioned, so he's good, I just wish he'd practice his bowling at the bowling alley. Also, and this is news you might all be particularly interested in especially in light of the approaching holiday, but Sora brought in something very unique from his homeworld. Paopu fruit! Looking for a great alternative to the usual chocolate and teddy bears? Paopu fruit might be just for you! This star-shaped, delicious fruit is exclusive to Turtle & Canary and has the amazing ability to intertwine the fates of those who share it together. Romantic, unique, and reasonably priced, you'll definitely want to look into it for you and yours this Valentine's Day!




Turtle: And that's that! Notes are done! That broadcast was shockingly pretty light on the brain breaky and the flailing. I'm pretty impressed.

Jeff: I'm still a bit worried about the sheep.

Turtle: I'm just trying to forget that the sheep ever happened. G'nite, Fandom!