Fandom Radio - Monday 9/3024

[the_best_sister]

Good morning, islanders. This is Yelena, bringing you the news—expertly written by alcoholic squirrels and... a depressed—what even are you? A bird? You look like a penguin had a one night stand with a potato.

(Sad porg noises)

Anyway, in town—

(Chittering and porg screeches)

Nope, not saying it. So, Logan was at the Ink Spot being the least helpful employee. Don’t blame me, Logan, it’s the squirrels doing the commentary, not me.

(More chittering)

Shut up. Meanwhile, Rey was at Stark Industries, where she was tortured by the entire AC/DC catalog. You might want to check on those gremlins at Starbucks. They're being sneaky again. Real shocker.

Over at Midnight Manor, Harley was doing laundry, which apparently involved kicking the dryer. Marc showed up, and Harley asked if she could kick her ex off the island. Little extreme, don’t you think, Harley? Wait, who’s her ex?

(Chittering)

I don’t speak squirrel! Write it out for me—oh, okay. Damn. Moving on!

And finally, Pam was outside Pick Your Poison, drinking coffee and- Okay, Leroy. She’s new, so let’s let her have her moment, okay?

(Chittering in disapproval)

Too bad, it’s happening. That’s all for now. I’m Yelena and I really need to find better things to do on a Monday morning.