Arden Finch (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
afraid_of_marshmallows) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandom_radio2024-01-09 08:48 am
afraid_of_marshmallows) wrote in fandom_radio2024-01-09 08:48 am
Fandom Radio, January 9th
*the sound of birdcalls*
Whoa! Um. What? Why are there squirrels here? Wait, is this the radio station?
*nonchalant bird noises*
I've still got my sleep wrap on! And my slippers! I thought someone was in trouble! I thought this was some weird 'Timmy fell down the well!' thing! Did you really get me up to read the notes for your fuh--uhhh...furry? Friends?
*disapproving chitters and judgey bird noises*
I was gonna say furry the whole time! You can't prove otherwise! Ugh, just give me the notes. Sure, I'll read-- Wait, how am I even understanding you right now?
Oooookay, Arden. Just breathe. You can do this. You've listened to radio a bunch of times already. Just do what they do. You can do this. Just read the notes. Be normal. Not normal for you, just nor--
*chittering*
What? We're already broadcasting?!? How long?! Since I came in? What? Why would you do that?!
*more chittering and apologetic bird noises*
Oh my goddess, BLEEP my whole BLEEPing LIFE right now. Errr, I mean, hello! Good morning, this is Arden Finch, coming at you live from the radio station. Or probably not actually live, because it's stupid early out there, I was dragged here against my will by a buncha BLEEPing birds--
*defensive bird calls*
--I might've already been awake, but I wasn't out of bed yet! Ugh! Anyway, uh, yeah, I'm Arden Finch - wait, bleep, I said that - look, sorry everyone I'm super unprepared, it's the wildlife's fault, anyway here's the news. Also, um, apologies in advance for anything I report on. Sorry, new people, we live in a surveillance state, but instead of cops, it's squirrels. But, uh, okay, anyway, over in School, yesterday was the first day of classes. It's Introduction Week, and that's what everybody did. Um, Introduction to Paleobiology had Professors Temple and Cutter explaining what paleobiology is and asking folks what they're looking to get out of the class. Science course credit would be my answer. Then over in Let's Plan A Heist! teachers Flamingo Buffet and Holly Display first read a statement about how everything that was happening in class was for fun and pretend and no actual heists were being planned, and then had everybody give fake names for their introduction. Which...probably means that this is a fake Captain Rogers in class. Or maybe it's the real Captain Rogers and he just wasn't comfortable lying. There's not really clarity here about which it is. Err, over to Learn to Have Fun!, where Professor Sims - wait, he's teaching this class? Errr...I mean. I didn't mean it like that! Sorry, professor! But, uh, yeah, I guess it's a class devoted to having fun by, um...petting cats and visiting aquariums.
*skeptical chittering*
Well that isn't very ni--
*emphatic chittering*
Uh, the squirrels say they're looking forward to watching Professor Sims teach this class. Apparently it will be a 'learning experience' for everybody and that he already learned what 'flang' is. I don't know what flang is and the squirrels aren't saying. Ooookaaaaaay. Yeah, we're gonna just keep moving on I think, over to Creative Writing--So Simple Even You Can Do It! (Probably). Lot of classes with exclamation points in the names on Monday. Uh, so the teacher was late, I guess, leaving Steven - oh! Hi Steven! - and Gonzo - hi, Gonzo! - to talk about Steven's plans for his book about a construction worker cat and what bow ties wear when they're being fancy. I...honestly don't know whether that's real, a weird take on their actual conversation, or if the squirrels are just drunk.
*indignant chittering*
Graham was feeling industrious and got the jump on the creative writing, and eventually Professor - oh, Doctor? - excuse me, Dr. Navaan showed up to talk about how names are really important make everybody choose a pen name fitting their chosen genre. Gonzo had some questions about the lecture, but apparently it was mostly about the movie The Duchess Approves, so...okay then.
Oh! But that's my last note about classes, so I think we're onto Dorms! Um...anything from them dorms?
*tiny, sad porg trilling*
Oh my goddess, that's what the intern porg looks like? So cute! Oh lookit your little faaaace! Ohmigosh, can I hug you? Oh yeah, c'mere little guy. It's okay, folks will do more stuff in the dorms soon.
Students, oh wow, you have to start doing more stuff in the dorms. I can't with his sad face. He's just a little guy, you guys! Ahhh, my heart!
*Annoyed chittering*
Okay, okay, moving onto town, buncha heartless BLEEPing squirrels up here, goddess. Uh, so Professor Vess was dozing off at The Infinite Consortium, when Professor Scientia stopped by with coffee and buns--
*squirrely snickering*
--I'M JUST READING WHAT YOU JERKS WROTE! Ahem, he stopped by to ask her about her first day of classes. Apparently, she's looking forward to playing with dinosaur skeletons in Paleobiology and yeah, okay, now I'm concerned. Moving quickly away from that natural disaster, the Argentums returned home from their weekend getaway, with Professor Argentum talking to their daughter all about her weekend with her uncles and Mrs. Argentum taking pictures of how cute they were together. It was National Bubble Bath Day at Turtle and Canary, which meant resulted in Mr. Nahasapeemapetilon taking a bubble bath right in the store, which Professor Smith was horrified by. You know, I was thinking of maybe applying for a job there, but, uh, on second thought, never mind. I think I'm good. Detective Diaz was deleting emails at Diaz& Ass - how do you squirrels get so close, that's so weird - and then someone called on the phone...but there's no details on that? Y'all were so close you could read her screen but you missed a wholeass phone call?
*panicked chittering*
Oh, no, you heard it, you just aren't sure if she wants you to say, so you're playing it safe? Yeah, okay, that's pretty smart actually. Over at The Magpie Emporium - okay, I get why Graham says things the way he does now - Vi was tidying up and prepping for the new semester and cruelly ignoring Saffron, who, it says right here, has never been pet in her life. Y'all heard it here, folks. Poor ignored cat. Might even be able to see the bottom of her bowl in one spot. The tragedy. Over at the Fire Station, Mr. Diaz found out he'd been signed up for a cooking class without his knowledge, and over at the Trooper Station, Officer McGarrett was tidying desks and throwing away snack food stashes. So, uh, Detective Watts, you might wanna check on yours when you go in next. Now that I'm done snitching on the cops, which sure is a weird feel, Mr. Waugh was dusting The Magic Box when Professor Sims showed up and tried to comfort Mr. Waugh through what sounds like a serious case of the SADs. Have you considered one of those sun lamps? They're supposed to help a lot with that. And then Mr. Northman was back at The Devil's Nest trying to explain that Shreveport and New Orleans weren't the same place and I am obligated by Southerner pride to be offended on his behalf.
Ms. Ingram left her shift at Covent Gardens to head back to her house to finish up the handmade mugs she made for her usual Monday night guests. She talked to Professor Amicitia about maybe selling bath bombs and stuff at her store - maybe as some kind of collab with Pick Your Poison? - before he asked if he could move in with her. Which I've now read over the radio. Like a creeper. Okay. Sorry about your privacy and congratulations on that step? Oh goddess why? And also, now I'm covered in glitter. Anyway, Professor Amicitia compared Professor Vess to a fairy princess and she showed him a picture of a slab of beef like 'this u?' and this is just a very normal conversation. Professor Scientia showed up with more rolls and thanked Ms. Ingram for her help babysitting Noctra over the weekend, then Professor Vess offered him a suggestion about his roll recipe which I guess is just how they flirt, because there's a kissy face and more glitter on these notes and these are my professors you guys, come on!
*squirrely cackling*
Professor Vess was pleased by her mug and teased Ms. Ingram about being a domestic wood sprite which is very cute and probably the least intrusive note I have about this gathering.
Let's finish up with the Clinic where Mr. Stark - the one in the mask, not the one on the tower - discovered the crab was drinking as well as smoking in some kind of anti-resolution thing, but fortunately had no patients, so I don't accidentally break any HIPAA regulations by reporting on people's private medical business!
Umm, that's everything, so I think I'm gonna just--
*chittering*
What?
*more chittering*
The last Tuesday person played music? So I've got to?
*firm chittering*
Sure! Okay! Why not! Here! Straight from my Spotify playlist, start your day off right with a little bit of rhythm to move dem hips to. Arden Finch, signing off to the tune of Sway With Me, by GALXARA.
*door slamming as music starts to play*
Whoa! Um. What? Why are there squirrels here? Wait, is this the radio station?
*nonchalant bird noises*
I've still got my sleep wrap on! And my slippers! I thought someone was in trouble! I thought this was some weird 'Timmy fell down the well!' thing! Did you really get me up to read the notes for your fuh--uhhh...furry? Friends?
*disapproving chitters and judgey bird noises*
I was gonna say furry the whole time! You can't prove otherwise! Ugh, just give me the notes. Sure, I'll read-- Wait, how am I even understanding you right now?
Oooookay, Arden. Just breathe. You can do this. You've listened to radio a bunch of times already. Just do what they do. You can do this. Just read the notes. Be normal. Not normal for you, just nor--
*chittering*
What? We're already broadcasting?!? How long?! Since I came in? What? Why would you do that?!
*more chittering and apologetic bird noises*
Oh my goddess, BLEEP my whole BLEEPing LIFE right now. Errr, I mean, hello! Good morning, this is Arden Finch, coming at you live from the radio station. Or probably not actually live, because it's stupid early out there, I was dragged here against my will by a buncha BLEEPing birds--
*defensive bird calls*
--I might've already been awake, but I wasn't out of bed yet! Ugh! Anyway, uh, yeah, I'm Arden Finch - wait, bleep, I said that - look, sorry everyone I'm super unprepared, it's the wildlife's fault, anyway here's the news. Also, um, apologies in advance for anything I report on. Sorry, new people, we live in a surveillance state, but instead of cops, it's squirrels. But, uh, okay, anyway, over in School, yesterday was the first day of classes. It's Introduction Week, and that's what everybody did. Um, Introduction to Paleobiology had Professors Temple and Cutter explaining what paleobiology is and asking folks what they're looking to get out of the class. Science course credit would be my answer. Then over in Let's Plan A Heist! teachers Flamingo Buffet and Holly Display first read a statement about how everything that was happening in class was for fun and pretend and no actual heists were being planned, and then had everybody give fake names for their introduction. Which...probably means that this is a fake Captain Rogers in class. Or maybe it's the real Captain Rogers and he just wasn't comfortable lying. There's not really clarity here about which it is. Err, over to Learn to Have Fun!, where Professor Sims - wait, he's teaching this class? Errr...I mean. I didn't mean it like that! Sorry, professor! But, uh, yeah, I guess it's a class devoted to having fun by, um...petting cats and visiting aquariums.
*skeptical chittering*
Well that isn't very ni--
*emphatic chittering*
Uh, the squirrels say they're looking forward to watching Professor Sims teach this class. Apparently it will be a 'learning experience' for everybody and that he already learned what 'flang' is. I don't know what flang is and the squirrels aren't saying. Ooookaaaaaay. Yeah, we're gonna just keep moving on I think, over to Creative Writing--So Simple Even You Can Do It! (Probably). Lot of classes with exclamation points in the names on Monday. Uh, so the teacher was late, I guess, leaving Steven - oh! Hi Steven! - and Gonzo - hi, Gonzo! - to talk about Steven's plans for his book about a construction worker cat and what bow ties wear when they're being fancy. I...honestly don't know whether that's real, a weird take on their actual conversation, or if the squirrels are just drunk.
*indignant chittering*
Graham was feeling industrious and got the jump on the creative writing, and eventually Professor - oh, Doctor? - excuse me, Dr. Navaan showed up to talk about how names are really important make everybody choose a pen name fitting their chosen genre. Gonzo had some questions about the lecture, but apparently it was mostly about the movie The Duchess Approves, so...okay then.
Oh! But that's my last note about classes, so I think we're onto Dorms! Um...anything from them dorms?
*tiny, sad porg trilling*
Oh my goddess, that's what the intern porg looks like? So cute! Oh lookit your little faaaace! Ohmigosh, can I hug you? Oh yeah, c'mere little guy. It's okay, folks will do more stuff in the dorms soon.
Students, oh wow, you have to start doing more stuff in the dorms. I can't with his sad face. He's just a little guy, you guys! Ahhh, my heart!
*Annoyed chittering*
Okay, okay, moving onto town, buncha heartless BLEEPing squirrels up here, goddess. Uh, so Professor Vess was dozing off at The Infinite Consortium, when Professor Scientia stopped by with coffee and buns--
*squirrely snickering*
--I'M JUST READING WHAT YOU JERKS WROTE! Ahem, he stopped by to ask her about her first day of classes. Apparently, she's looking forward to playing with dinosaur skeletons in Paleobiology and yeah, okay, now I'm concerned. Moving quickly away from that natural disaster, the Argentums returned home from their weekend getaway, with Professor Argentum talking to their daughter all about her weekend with her uncles and Mrs. Argentum taking pictures of how cute they were together. It was National Bubble Bath Day at Turtle and Canary, which meant resulted in Mr. Nahasapeemapetilon taking a bubble bath right in the store, which Professor Smith was horrified by. You know, I was thinking of maybe applying for a job there, but, uh, on second thought, never mind. I think I'm good. Detective Diaz was deleting emails at Diaz& Ass - how do you squirrels get so close, that's so weird - and then someone called on the phone...but there's no details on that? Y'all were so close you could read her screen but you missed a wholeass phone call?
*panicked chittering*
Oh, no, you heard it, you just aren't sure if she wants you to say, so you're playing it safe? Yeah, okay, that's pretty smart actually. Over at The Magpie Emporium - okay, I get why Graham says things the way he does now - Vi was tidying up and prepping for the new semester and cruelly ignoring Saffron, who, it says right here, has never been pet in her life. Y'all heard it here, folks. Poor ignored cat. Might even be able to see the bottom of her bowl in one spot. The tragedy. Over at the Fire Station, Mr. Diaz found out he'd been signed up for a cooking class without his knowledge, and over at the Trooper Station, Officer McGarrett was tidying desks and throwing away snack food stashes. So, uh, Detective Watts, you might wanna check on yours when you go in next. Now that I'm done snitching on the cops, which sure is a weird feel, Mr. Waugh was dusting The Magic Box when Professor Sims showed up and tried to comfort Mr. Waugh through what sounds like a serious case of the SADs. Have you considered one of those sun lamps? They're supposed to help a lot with that. And then Mr. Northman was back at The Devil's Nest trying to explain that Shreveport and New Orleans weren't the same place and I am obligated by Southerner pride to be offended on his behalf.
Ms. Ingram left her shift at Covent Gardens to head back to her house to finish up the handmade mugs she made for her usual Monday night guests. She talked to Professor Amicitia about maybe selling bath bombs and stuff at her store - maybe as some kind of collab with Pick Your Poison? - before he asked if he could move in with her. Which I've now read over the radio. Like a creeper. Okay. Sorry about your privacy and congratulations on that step? Oh goddess why? And also, now I'm covered in glitter. Anyway, Professor Amicitia compared Professor Vess to a fairy princess and she showed him a picture of a slab of beef like 'this u?' and this is just a very normal conversation. Professor Scientia showed up with more rolls and thanked Ms. Ingram for her help babysitting Noctra over the weekend, then Professor Vess offered him a suggestion about his roll recipe which I guess is just how they flirt, because there's a kissy face and more glitter on these notes and these are my professors you guys, come on!
*squirrely cackling*
Professor Vess was pleased by her mug and teased Ms. Ingram about being a domestic wood sprite which is very cute and probably the least intrusive note I have about this gathering.
Let's finish up with the Clinic where Mr. Stark - the one in the mask, not the one on the tower - discovered the crab was drinking as well as smoking in some kind of anti-resolution thing, but fortunately had no patients, so I don't accidentally break any HIPAA regulations by reporting on people's private medical business!
Umm, that's everything, so I think I'm gonna just--
*chittering*
What?
*more chittering*
The last Tuesday person played music? So I've got to?
*firm chittering*
Sure! Okay! Why not! Here! Straight from my Spotify playlist, start your day off right with a little bit of rhythm to move dem hips to. Arden Finch, signing off to the tune of Sway With Me, by GALXARA.
*door slamming as music starts to play*
no subject