Fandom Radio :: Monday, November 26th.

[stocksgrrl.livejournal.com]

Jeff: So Turtle wanted to switch radio dates 'cos she got tired of Blonde Squirrel flirting with me and my hair after that whole incident two weeks ago.

Turtle: Oh, don't you even start thinking of putting this all on my. You're just as eager to get away from Blonde Squirrel as I am. *pause* ....Right?

Jeff: The way she stares at my hair is mildly disconcerting, yes. I think she may be looking for a nest.

Turtle: .....eeeewwww. Let's just get on with the news, Jeff. On Mondays! Yay Monday, suddenly the most awesome day of the week because it's our new radio day!



SCHOOL

Turtle: The regular office was open, as usual, and so was Mister Deadpool's office, and Constable Fraser came in and tackled him and sat on him and...whut? I don't know if I'm allowed to read this. Impressionable young minion and moose kicker and everything. And then Mister Squall showed up and made Mister Deadpool fall with the sheer force of his snark. Impressive. Two new teachers also had office hours today. A Doctor Suresh and a Miss Atreides. I hope I pronounced those right. No one showed up, though. Too early to start sucking up.

Jeff: Timing is important.

Turtle: In Comparative Religions, they talked about the difference between a religion and a cult. Cults usually make more money, but then lose it all a lot faster, too. Lana, Karal, and Z all took careful notes, but not Adah. She was too busy trying to be all avoid-y at Luke or something. Karal and Luke discussed, and Sam TA'd.

Turtle: In Art Class, they talked about mixed media, and evvvvveryone was all "YAY!" about a field trip to a museum or something. I think museums are boring, but you have to go to them because they make you look important. Not eevvvveryone was happy about the looming reminder of a grade. It's school! What did you expect? Sora and Naminé discuss the project and how Sora wants to use lots of photographs. And then Naminé TA'd. Wheeeee.

Turtle: And then Turtle Wexler discovered a problem with reporting on Mondays because it means she has to report on her own Sex Ed class in front of her boyfriend, which is NOT AWKWARD AT ALL, NO. WehadalectureonsextoysandthenhadtowriteaboutourfavoritesandRikkuTA'dandsetupanappointmentwithMissLuLu, and hey, Jeff, how about that next class in the notes, huh?

Jeff: ...You're in Sex Class? Excellent! *sound of someone, not Jeff, facepalming* ...But this is more important. Keeping Your Wits is about surviving the holidays, which I feel is the first truly practical lesson we've been taught all term. The holidays are really really dangerous, like, what if your mother buys you some socks, or you end up in a mall with a lot of women, or there's some sort of slippage incident... Which I'm hoping was covered in the lecture. Wyatt wants to know if Lana and his brother did the squelchy together. Normally I would encourage this, but really, this is an important subject. It takes priority. Lana, on the other hand, discusses with Chris how they should've had this lesson the previous week, which I can only greatly approve of. There's no end to the sort of disaster that can happen in this time period and it's good to have a run-in. Isabel and Wyatt also discuss matters about holidays and Fandom weirdness. Game plans are made! Remember to improvise. You never expect a badly placed sock until it happens to you and then you're accidentally naked. I could teach this class.

They watch fashion shows in Top Model! That's excellent. Those have a lot of women in them. Sometimes I record them and fast-forward over the uninteresting bits. Which obviously you can't do in real time, but the students watched regardless. I hope you got to the interesting bits often. Peter and Isabel discuss their Thanksgiving. I don't want to talk about my Thanksgiving, you know, people really need to specify what species they're referring to, just throwing anatomy at me while I'm not expecting it is really evil.

Sam opened the library and got lunch from Dean. People should bring me lunch at work, I don't trust Gunther's cooking, I think he might be trying to poison me. Apparently it's flirtary time again 'cos Peter's there and everything and this squirrel is really quite excited about it. Coffee and invisibility, apparently. The squirrel is less excited about there being no one at lunch. Perhaps they all got lunches from other people.

DORMS


Turtle: John of the Sheppard variety makes a few phone calls before he heads out for the evening. I'm sure there will be more on that later, and Andros unpacks after returning from a trip home, which I hope was better than my recent trip home... Inara has her tea-reading and book-sipping....errrrr, scratch that. Reverse it. Tea-sipping. Book-reading. Interrupted by Gavin, who talks with her about Karal and her current roommatelessness. I've been roommateless for a while now, and it's niiiiiiice. Not that Miley wasn't awesome, of course! I just like having a room that's bigger than a closet all to myself for a change...

Jeff: It's important to avoid closets at all costs. You wouldn't want to end up stuck again.

Turtle: I still haven't gotten stuck, you know. That's your thing. Meg was channel surfing in her room and she catches up with her roommate Cassandra on how they're doing and that they're good and that's good and everything is good. Good! Isabel? Also watching TV, as well as shopping online. Multitasking! I approve! And Ino needs to take out some aggression on someone after talking to Annette, and seeks her target in Kabuto. Oh, that sounds like a healthy relationship. Although I don't blame anyone for feeling all grrrrr after talking to Annette. Ooof.

Jeff: Summer and Chris discuss the amount of sex he and Lan-- can I keep this note?

*chittering*

Jeff: Blonde squirrel would let me keep the note!

*more chittering*

Jeff: But there's people having sex out there and I know about it! *twock* OW! I miss my old squirrels, Turtle.

Turtle: ...I...I don't even know where to begin to comment on that. Just...keep reading, Jeff.

Jeff: Fine. Mel and Katara talk about reunion weekend, is that where I got the socks? Molly pops 'round bearing pie and emo which seems like an odd sort of combination. Liz unpacks, good idea, Union River's all curled up in bed, and Annette tells Ino about things that happened at home and makes my little sister unhappy and I'd go talk to her, but she's sort of a woman and everything, still, I don't like it when people make Ino upset, it's very siblingly. Dick takes over talking to Annette duties in the end, so hopefully Ino got a bit better about it.

Turtle: And, over at stables tonight, Karal watches his horse play in the rain. I wish I had a horse. Better if it's a pony. Better even more if it's a unicorn.

Jeff: I don't know. It seems to me like unicorns might be a bit of a stabbing hazard.

Turtle: ...not for the pure and innocent. So, clearly, I'll be safe. You... will just have to stay out of the stable, Jeff.

TOWN

Jeff: There is vandalism being done in a drunken capacity by Naked Rikku, John Sheppard who was going to hide my girlfriend at Parents' Weekend, thanks even if that didn't quite work out, and Molly the Telephone Vanquisher. Unfortunately, their combined might can't stop the tide of their ...being caught. And I was really rooting over these notes, too! That's really unfair.

Turtle:....was it the Sheriff or Agent Cooper who caught them?

Jeff: I think it was Agent Cooper.

Turtle: Then I'm not surprised at all. He's good at catching things.

Jeff: We've got a new mayor! His name is D'Argo! That sounds like he could really handle a problem, you know. I don't mean like invasions or nothing, I mean real problems, like socks. I've been thinking about socks a lot since last week, and they're really sort of an issue, aren't they?

Turtle: No, Jeff, you pronounced it wrong. It's D'Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgo. Mayor D'Arrrrrrrrrrrrgo now, I guess, which is awesome. Best. Mayor-name. Ever.

Jeff: Ami opened the Magic Box, George Michael got the banana stand, Tink did her shop, Annette... you know I didn't mean the frog thing or anything, right? I'm having this sort of memory renaissance right now and I think that means it's time to make good, 'cos it was my birthday yesterday and everything and you don't want to go into the first day of your new year with all sorts of amphibian lungs. Oh! She opened the Post Office. Right. Where there's Billy and they talk about unimportant things like shooting and punching.

Breasts open the Arms Hotel, and my big brother opens his music store. Chad! Chad! Thanks! You've got to thank your siblings properly, it's the way of things, otherwise the universe might conspire. Robin a frog shows up and I hope he thanks his siblings frequently.

Turtle: I was my usual, productive self at the best store with the best values in town, Turtle & Canary. Marco stopped by, sans his usual ninja routine, which is good, because I wasn't really paying that much attention anyway, and I should be. Mister Gabriel played his trumpet over at the church. I thought they had organs for that? Naomi opened Sparky's and Miss Millie opened Book Haven and, ugh, this is so weird doing this on Monday instead of Tuesday now. All the wrong people are opening places! Like Mister Cable opening the Wellspring Arms and Meditiation Center instead of...uh, was it Ino on Wednesday? Definitely Ino. Anyway. She didn't open, but Ino did stop by and they talk about how anything can be used as a weapon. Like words. Ino asks about textbooks. A book is not a weapon! Or I guess it could be. Papercuts. Sokka is there to check out the shooting range, Sheriff Mustang showed up, too, and talked with Mister Cable about how Mister Cable's from the same world, reality, whatever place as Mister Deadpool, which makes it a pretty awesome world, reality, whatever place, and then they discuss "the Mary situation." ....what the heck is "the Mary situation"?

Jeff: It's the breasts.

Turtle: It's always the breasts. They're inseparable from Mary. There has to be something more...

Jeff: *offended* More than breasts?!

Turtle: *loooong pause* Mister Deadpool, I hope you're failing this guy in your class. Yes, more than breasts! A woman is a lot more than breasts, Jeff! If that weren't the case, I'd be up the river without a paddle, that's for sure...

Jeff: Well, obviously. There's bottoms.

Turtle: *muttering* And, lemme guess. Eyes?

Jeff: Obviously, eyes are vital. You've got the best ones.

Turtle: ....And don't you forget it.

Jeff: That would be sort of hard, you're right here. Jolee is snoring at Caritas and leaving all the work to Tino. John Sheppard got a beer and then meets up with-- I know how this story ends 'cos I reported on it earlier, he and Molly the Telephone Vanquisher and Naked Rikku drink a lot and decide to vandalise things instead of drunk dial and I wish I hadn't spoiled myself 'cos now I'm sort of depressed, really. Then they sing some songs, like 'Stronger' and 'Good and Broken' and 'Violet', I think some of these were in the catch-up package Chad got me.

Turtle: I just hope his taste in music is better than his taste in shirts. Or cats.

Jeff: There's nothing wrong with his taste in shirts. Is there something wrong with his taste in shirts?



Turtle: Of course not. Notes are over, though. Say good night, Jeff.

Jeff: Good night, Jeff! Can I go sleep now? I really need to get away from these squirrels.

Turtle: Don't we all, Jeff? Don't. We. All.

*click*