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fandom_radio2007-09-12 12:05 am
mouthy-merc.livejournal.com) wrote in fandom_radio2007-09-12 12:05 am
Fandom Radio, Tuesday, September 11
Deadpool: "Ow sonnova! Stop throwing nuts at me!"
Wilson: "Listen, you're nice squirrels, really you are but don't you thin ... okay okay okay! Put down the nuts!! Geeze, bloodthirsty little rodents. Wait, Deadpool? Why are you here? Where's Aziraphale?"
Deadpool: "...is this some weird squirrel driven attempt at a threesome, because I am going to have to decline and I don't care how many nuts you throw at me!" *pause* "That came out wrong."
Wilson: "Or right, depending upon their intentions." *pause and the sound of fabric rustling* "Okay guys, what's the deal here? Usually you kidnap matched sets."
Chitter!, chitter chitter chitter!
Wilson: "What? You heard W&Ws were a classic combination of candy coated chocolaty goodness and you wanted some?"
CHITTER! chitter chitter rustle rustle rustle Chitter!
Wilson: "....uh, guys. This is an M&M wrapper." *pause, sound of scampering little feet and the thud of a body falling back* "OW! Listen, it's not my fault they're Ms not Ws, hey, stop stop that! DEADPOOL don't just stand there looking at the wrapper darn it!"
Deadpool: "Shh, Squirrel Girl might be around. Trust me, you don't want to piss her off. End up in your boxers and tied up and feeling very violated AND I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT."
Wilson: *Looonnngggg moment of what can best be termed as stunned silence.* "Ah, you know neitherdoI."
Chitter! *Sound of pages rustling and some quiet secretive chittering.*
Wilson: "Huh, news? Oh! Uh, gotcha. Um, hey Deadpool, why don't we talk about the day's happenings instead? Nice safe topic that has nothing to do with bon...err, squirrel girls and M&Ms?"
School
Deadpool: "That is a very good idea and one that will not force me to have horrible flashbacks and cry like a small girl, which is just awkward for myself, you, the squirrels. Well, maybe not the squirrels. Evil lil' buggers."
*angry chittering*
Deadpool: "STOP THROWING NUTS AT ME! I apologize! Okay? Damn squirrels. In classes today, Prophecy in Theory and Practice met up and-- I'm sorry, we have a class on prophecies? For real ones? Like, world savey 'Poccy kinda stuff?"
Wilson: "Pocky? You mean like that tasty Japanese treat? I didn't know Aziraphale had any tentacle monsters in his class. Love? I think we need to talk tomorrow when you get home."
Deadpool: "No, no, no. While 'Poccy might be crunchy on the inside, I think he might rip out my spine." *pause* "Well I think a chocolate covered Apocalypse would be hilarious and stop facepalming at me! Any way, those kids there turned in homework, which is bull because what kind of homework can they have? 'You will die a horible death' for everyone? I could've predicted that! They pulled items from a basket for some reason, maybe it was maaaaagical items, who knows, and meditated in pairs. Annette, the student who seems to want my finely shaped behind and Andrew passed notes in class. For shame children, for shame! The TAs were lazy and useless, eating food instead of helping keep order in class. Maybe Annette and Andrew wouldn't pass notes if they did their job, hmmm? Also, there was an unnamed teacher there for questioning. Ooo! Who is it? Is it that flowy haired Anakin? That new chick Lulu and her... huge tracts of land? Inquiring minds want to know!"
Wilson: *Dryly* "Mind?"
Deadpool: "Yes, minds. Plural. I'm sure others are curious like me! Mad Science also had class to today. Great, now I have Oingo Boingo stuck in my head."
Wilson: %"It's a dead man's paaarrrttyyyy% What? %Walking with a dead man, all dressed up with no where to go"% Honestly, Wade what's that pout for, you seem sensitive about something."
Deadpool: "I hate that band! Johnny and Victor took notes, like good students should. Nothing sinister there. Then the students... fired death lasers at dummies. Huh. Spoke too soon, huh? And again it seems I spoke to soon as they started firingat each other next?! What kind of class is this?! Oooooh, I get it now. Creepy McNinja was made TA. It all makes sense again. Cher, the student, not the singer... I hope... was worried that she might cause blindness with a laser and her dad would sue. Kid, lasers are the LEAST of your worries in this town.
From my heart and from my hand, won't people understand my intentions... Ooo! Weird science!
Oh, goddamn it. Stupid catchy song making me want to watch Molly Ringwald movies."
Wilson: "Are you feeling Pretty in ... okay okay forget I said anything."
Deadpool: "Already did! US Government also met and thankfully there was no scandal about any of the students doing naughty things in the bathroom. Instead, Lana, Anamamamathema and Henry all took notes. And they discussed the foundations of democracy. Ahh, a few hundred men in tiny leather speedos, fighting in a pretty way. Gotta love them ancient Greeks."
Wilson: "Leather speedos? Gottah wonder how they dealt with that small chafing problem."
Deadpool: "Baby powder. *cough* Not that I'm interested in a bunch of guys with abs you could grate cheese off in speedos. Don't think I don't see that smirk Nate! Anyway! Lana, who I kinda want as a TA now, brought Josh some pastries and coffee. STOP HOGGING THE GOOD TA'S, JOSH! Josh, the bastard, drank coffee and waited for questions and what is wrong with this squirrel?! Josh, I might hate you for having an awesome TA, but word to the wise, keep an eye out for a squirrel that wants you naked. Interspecies love meets Fatal Attraction there."
Wilson: *This time the facepalming can be heard across the mics*
Deadpool: "What? It's true! Shop Class was completely uneventful, as opposed to the class of weeeeird science!. The kiddies took notes and facepalmed for some reason. Then fixed some lamps and had an unspecified activity involving the dimmer switche. Oooo-kay.
Over in the class of the tricksy spy, 15 Ways to Protect Yourself and Others, which mostly involves running far, far away from dangerous things. Like Weasel does! Aly, you should have Weaz show up for your class. He's survived hanging out with me for... well a long time. Anyway, the kiddies took notes and then paired up to discuss their experience. Running away. Zulia the TA and Ponytail made faces at each other, very mature there boys. Aaaaand, the tricksy spy was also around. Most likely being tricksy.
Anemone, which I was under the impression was an aquatic creature of some sort, opened the library today. And my lil' minion enjoyed the ice cream over in the cafeteria. You didn't bring me any?! This saddens me, Rikku. Like a sad panda."
Wilson: "Are pandas usually sad? They seem sort of happy to me, eating bambo and getting encouraged to have baby pandas. There were office hours. Really this constitutes news? I'd think the making of baby pandas would..."
*BONK!*
"OW! Iknowarecipeforsquirrel. Fine. As I was saying, there were office hours for Kerrigan who I have not met yet, Aziraphale who I have met and I even had a conversation with him in my office hours. Fascinating stuff for you all to hear about, I'm sure.
In more interesting office type news, it seems that Deadpool talked to a voice in his head and then he spoke with Emma about the voice in his head."
*Pause*
"And as I say those words, might I remind you all that I'm trapped in a very small radio studio with this man and the rum seems to be gone."
Deadpool: "It's just Nate! And he's an actual person! Just... stuck in my brain. And watching my every move."
Wilson: "Did he pay full price for that movie, cause it seems the matinee would have been more cost effective. It appears -from these notes at least- that Rikku stopped by and my partner in the really small booth with no rum also spoke to her about the voices in his head. Is this what you meant about the threesome tonight, Wade?"
Deadpool: "Shut UP Nate! And for the last time people, there is nothing going on between myself and one Nathan Christopher Summers!"
Wilson: "Then stop calling out his name while you're with me! Office hours were also held by Silent Bob who wouldn't let his heterosexual life mate Jay go to his class and I'm not sure why that is news worthy but I am sure, I don't care to know either and Hoshi stopped by to speak with Barney during his office hours.
Barney? Like the giant purple dinosaur? Isn't he the teacher of Love something or other?
Now that that disturbing image is in my head, also holding office hours was Anakin, who had a call from Rory as well as a visit from Rose and Deadpool stopped by looking for alcohol. Did you find any? If so, why aren't you sharing?"
Deadpool: "Well, if I had any left..."
Wilson: "Drat."
Dorms
Wilson: "Up on the Second Floor Common Room, someone named Meg is watching Blue Planet in her pajamas which seems an educational thing to do and speaking of educational, it seems Johnny Storm was busy studying Meg while he popped popcorn in his hand. It says here that Johnny has a girlfriend but that he is a guy and he has eyes. Just in case anyone had any questions about Johnny being a guy ... or having eyes.
Deadpool: "Personally, I'd be worried if he was eye-less. No one needs an eye-less superhero who sets himself on fire. That's just an accident waiting to happen. More so than god cloning."
Wilson: "I think Johnny might be more concerned about his 'guyness' but I'll leave that for you two to work out some time. Joining the Blue Planet geek out party was Isabel, who also talked with Meg about documentaries and how space in Fandom seems to expand to accommodate crowds, and speaking of accommodating crowds, it seems that Johnny Storm and honestly for a guy with a girlfriend, he's making a lot of time with other girls but where was I ... oh, right he was accommodating Isabel who was teasing him with threats of ravishment and there's a note here about exposed assets, not really sure what they mean there, squirrels have really bad handwriting.
Adah makes for the fridge, grabs an apple, and gets invited by Meg to join in the documentary-watching and does anyone care to guess who waves at Adah? Anyone? Point to those who said Johnny Storm but this time when he invited her over to his room to meet his girlfriend ... mmm, uh well, Adah didn't seem to impressed and we'll just move right along to the next note shall we?
Bridge rambles at Adah, which kind of intimidated her a little but Isabel seems to have the knack and introduced herself to Adah without the pressure of inviting her to a potential threesome.
Isabel is and always has been a very proper young lady, after all.
Bridge, ever a gentleman, reassured his little sister Meg that she is not a dork for liking coral reefs as he loves them also and Isabel and Bridge discussed fish and a road trip to Florida, which would be a good place to find fish.
Speaking of fish, Anemone is lured in by shiny fishies and tells Meg she's named for the flower, not the aquatic animal, err in which case just disregard the first part of that sentence. Isabel continues with her polite introduction and also learns about the flower, not sea creature origin of Anemone's name.
Deadpool: "Discovery Channel, you lied to me!"
Wilson: "Well ... duh! You're talking about the people who produce Meerkat Manor and if that isn't a case of false advertising ... err, where was I? Abigail comes in. Meg is far too excited about this coral reef thing as she greets her but perhaps Abigail likes that sort of thing? It seems that Charlie is also happy to see Blue Planet, after all though there is a note here about some sort of confusion over Meg being Meg or possibly being Jo and that popcorn, Johnny and Rodney are somehow also thrown into the mix.
Bridge is happy to see Charlie, even after she tells him she's got a cold and Meg introduces herself which probably made Charlie glad she didn't say anything about Jo. Though that still leaves Johnny, Rodney and the popcorn but we'll just let those three have some private time.
Deadpool: "...what is with you and threesomes?"
Wilson: "My boyfriends are canoodling, it's kinda on my mind as well as in my mind an oh dear HIM I just admitted to having voices in my head, Wade ... your crazy is rubbing off on me.
Deadpool: *in a dry, completely un-Deadpool-like voice* "Yes, he does have a tendency to do that."
Wilson: *Pause, you can almost hear the mental 'Buh?'* "Uh, as I was saying, Isabel continues to be a social butterfly as she and Charlie catch up about classes and Charlie's cold, meanwhile Anders finds a corner to flop in from which he mistakes Meg for Jo and gets set straight, much to Bel's dismay I'm sure. Or perhaps it's Johnny's dismay as the note says here that the meeting between Johnny and Anders was slightly awkward and I imagine it would be what with the popcorn and Rodney somehow in the mix.
Bridge is now my new best friend for wanting to install an espresso bar .... and I just have to stop there because I'm currently in my happy place."
*Pause ... sound of another BONK!*
"Huh, what? It's an espresso machine dang it! Oh .. uh ... HI WE HAVE FISHIES! Well, that's what the note says that Anemone says and now I'm confused because I thought she was a flower? There is some sort of discussion regarding the loss of a pranking opportunity from this summer but as it involves a person I refuse to name on air, least she appear in a mirror behind me ... and Hoshi dropped in and Meg -not Jo- says hello.
Hoshi then spent some quality time with her roommate and met Anders as well as discussed Coral reefs with Meg -not Jo- and the non ownership of common rooms with Charlie.
Least we forget the fertile emo ground, known as the Roof, it seems that Annette settled up there with two bottles of tequilaand some emo of doom. However, I wonder if she factored in Savannah's hugging abilities?
Perhaps she did, cause the next note says that Jack Burton came upon a severely snockered Annette who was stuck on bottle number 89 of 99 bottles of beer on the wall and when he introduced himself, she introduced him to tequila.
Now that's going to be awkward at some point in the morning."
Deadpool: "Tequila is always a good idea. Huh, you'd think the dorms would be more exciting. Karal was doing paperwork in his room, not even with flair. Bor~ring! Hiding in her and slightly more interesting was Annette. Aaaaand Madrox was e-mailing in a bad mood and had a visit from Z! Heh. Hello lil' Madrox. A general announcement! Anyone who brings me a tape of Jamie here on that kid's show making out with himself will get an A even if I have to threaten another teacher to get it.
Z also visited Luke and they discussed how to decorate his side of the room. Ooh! Call While You Were Out! That carpenter is dreamy. ...the girl one! The girl carpenter!
Wilson: "You are just asking to get killed in your sleep tonight, aren't you?"
Deadpool: "...I miss boobs. Cassandra met Luke and Artoo and then traded runaway stories with Z. ...are you guys like those adorable Pride kids? Are you? Best selling and everything? Luke continues to be popular with the ladies with Dawn stopping by with demands of chocolate and stories and then music draws in Jaina.
Andrew ran into John Sheppard's room to pat him on the head. ...kinda weird, but whatever floats your boat I guess. Then Rodney stopped by for a friendly game of chess. Riiiiiight. Inara and Gavin have a Serious Talk. Note the caps there people. And there wasn't a break up, yaaay? Strange little shipper squirrels. Meanwhile, Troy and AJ fight over kissyface with Annette. Whoa there! How many guys does she have?
Harry intterupts Hermione's studying and is surprised the school didn't throw him down the stairs fro being in her room? What the hell? And Ron, the hater of Bea Arthur, wondered if she was reading Hogwarts: A History again. Which she apparently has memorized. Well, I guess it's better than having a Grisham novel memorized."
Town
Wilson: "Okay, let's see. Here in town, it says that 'Dick opens up Caritas already drunk' and I'm going to assume that this means Dick was already drunk, not Caritas since Caritas is a building ... but this is Fandom and you just never know." *Pointed pause*
Deadpool: "Oh flesh and blooood, I do not know! I do not knooow! Hmmm? Did you say something?"
Wilson: "... Uh yes but really, let's just pretend I didn't annnnnd moving right along, it seems that while in the building, that was not drunk, Dick and Annette engaged in a drunken and emoey conversation about their relationship. Trust me you two, it's much better to have drunken, emoey sex and save the conversation part of things for when you're sober. Meanwhile, elsewhere in the not drunk building it seems that Billy approved of Dick's drunkinating plan."
*Pause*
"Drunkinating? Is that like symbolibolca...symbolica...symboli...darn it, I still can't say that word. Moving along, Aziraphale -good evening my lovely buttercups!- had the Nest open tonight and he had some sort of beach them going. Excellent idea, love. I hope you had at least one sex on the beach ... or you know, just sex on the beach. And finally the Clinic was opened today but Dr. Troy in the morning along with Stanley holding his office hours
and Wyatt in the evening. Aww and it says here Wyatt used his time to study, isn't that studently of him. Unless he was studying Dr. Troy's special anatomy books in which case .." *Adult like throat clearing*
Deadpool: "That's just code for porn, right?"
Wilson: "I plead the Fifth. Aly stopped by Roy's with cookies and chess which seems like a nice combination and Stanley cooked and drank alone.
Deadpool: "Huh. Aly never brought me cookies."
Wilson: "Did you ever bring her cookies? We pause now for a moment of emo silence ... no, we don't. Stanley, don't eat and drink alone! Go down to Caritas and get to drunkinating. It's healthier ... plus I just love saying that word 'drunkinating, drunkinating, roly poly drunkinating'.
I'm also being informed that 'Sanity has left the building'. Yeeaahhh, I think that was a given."
Deadpool: "Xander of the eyepatch was over at Mauvaise Chance's office, watching Spooky Things. Was it the episode with the Kansas music video? I LOVE THAT EPISODE! Makes me all misty and thinking of the ending of a great series even though it wasn't...
Huh. Why do I feel like something is ending out there? Like a million voices all cried out atJoe Quesada once and were crushed by some great travesty? Fabian? I'm scared... hold me!
Mel, the destroyer of cars, stopped by to ask Xander if she could stake her pretend-vampire stalker and barring that if she should pretend to be a mime for a day to get him to stop. Uh, does anyone else see something off about that? Just me?"
Wilson: "Personally, I'd stake the mime and tell the vampire stalker to stop but mimes are strange that way"
Deadpool: "Mimes. Almost as bad as clowns. I hate clowns. Isabel stopped by to warn Eyepatchy about Blackheart. Wow, that is one edgy name. Does he also wear spikes and brood about killing a town on accident?
Turtle, my other favorite minion, opened up Turtle & Canary and was bored. I suggest a hobby. Maybe stamp collecting?"
Wilson: *Sound of a choked off snort.*
Deadpool: "What? It's a perfectly respectable hobby! Oh! But then customers arrived and all was well with the world again. First, Robin came in, asking for DVDs of his Uncle Kermit and they discuddes Sulley and his job as resident tall person at the store. Niiiice. Turtle tried to sell Mary a nice loose fitting sweater, but thankfully she only wanted cookie supplies. Turtle! We do not cover up pretty women's--you know, I'mma stop here before Arashi kills me in my sleep.
Chad was totally working over at Groovy Tunes. Yeah, we believe that. And Leo was at the Photo Hut. No word on whether or not he was working too.
River, Jeff, and Hoshi staged a revolution at the hotel, locking up Gunther, and replacing the specials board. Did they bring out the guillotine or take an oath in a tennis court?
And there's that image of an ax coming down on me again. Weird. Is the 4th wall crashing again?
Then, during this bloody and terrifying revolution, River did the unthinkable and cooked. Irulan was a brave lil' toaster and managed to eat River's lovely sandwich of strawberries and sardines. Mmm, like mom used to make. Jack Burton, came in and ordered nachos with sprinkles, only to get dessert. Mmm, sprinkles.
Using cruel and unusual punishment, Hoshi tried various languages to get Gunther to stop talking. I suggest knives. Can't misinterrpret that language! A gushing squirrel that I might have to hunt down, loves that Jeff and Irulan talked about naked television watching and covering up of burns. Let's just put that out of mind for now. A list of demands is placed up by Jeff, and it sure as hell better include taxation of the first and second estates.
With a much less edgy name now that it's known he works at Pixie Dust, Blackheart opened the store for business. Aaaaand was annoyed by Isabel with whom he talks about hell. FUN TIMES! Also? Andrew stops by. No word of talking about hell.
Liz, who you'll remember as the kid who set me on fire that one time, Nate, opened the post office. And over at the church, an angry Gabriel tried to tape up a broken window. Was it those darn hooligans and their stick ball that did it? Annette stopped by to confess and insist that, no, she can not fix the window. Because she hates God. And baby Jesus. And baby Nate.
With the phlegmy name, Yitzhak opened up Luke's. Why doesn't he go by Luke? It's a much less throat clearing name.
There is also a, and I quote, "frozen bananer stand". I want some frozen bananers. Stopping by to discuss the utter unfairness of a nuts surcharge-
*chittering*
-well some people have allergies! It's not pretty, all puffy and fat Oprah looking when they should look like skinny Oprah."
Wilson: "Oprah has never been skinny, she's only been less fat."
Deadpool: "...true. But still not good all around. And there are people with chocolate allergies? Those poor deprived folks. Never knowing the joy of the cocoa. Anyway! After this discussion, Willow left with a double dipped bananer. Not dirty. I hope. God, I hope."
Wilson: *There might have been the sound of face palming, once more* "I'd fear Willow if I were you."
Deadpool: "I don't fear trees! Naminé with that nifty little accent mark opened up Café Fina, also with that nifty accent mark, and offered free dessert if people brought in art to decorate the walls. Leo took her up on that offer with some photographs. Cassandra stopped by to make sure the plates and dishes were on the level... Yeah. I think they are, but you never know. The French, you know. Just ask Jean-Paul. Or not, because he'll just swear at you in French. Last, Steve stopped by to let her know that most of his recent work is war drawings and not for the walls of a adorable little café.
And again that feeling of cancellation. What is up with that?"
Wilson: "We're out of notes and it's the end of the broadcast, so we should say that this has been Wilson and Wilson, who are not M&Ms, reporting to you about the days misadventures on WTFH radio, thank you and goodnight!"
Deadpool: "G'night Fandom! Remember to tip your waitresses!
Wilson: "Listen, you're nice squirrels, really you are but don't you thin ... okay okay okay! Put down the nuts!! Geeze, bloodthirsty little rodents. Wait, Deadpool? Why are you here? Where's Aziraphale?"
Deadpool: "...is this some weird squirrel driven attempt at a threesome, because I am going to have to decline and I don't care how many nuts you throw at me!" *pause* "That came out wrong."
Wilson: "Or right, depending upon their intentions." *pause and the sound of fabric rustling* "Okay guys, what's the deal here? Usually you kidnap matched sets."
Chitter!, chitter chitter chitter!
Wilson: "What? You heard W&Ws were a classic combination of candy coated chocolaty goodness and you wanted some?"
CHITTER! chitter chitter rustle rustle rustle Chitter!
Wilson: "....uh, guys. This is an M&M wrapper." *pause, sound of scampering little feet and the thud of a body falling back* "OW! Listen, it's not my fault they're Ms not Ws, hey, stop stop that! DEADPOOL don't just stand there looking at the wrapper darn it!"
Deadpool: "Shh, Squirrel Girl might be around. Trust me, you don't want to piss her off. End up in your boxers and tied up and feeling very violated AND I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT."
Wilson: *Looonnngggg moment of what can best be termed as stunned silence.* "Ah, you know neitherdoI."
Chitter! *Sound of pages rustling and some quiet secretive chittering.*
Wilson: "Huh, news? Oh! Uh, gotcha. Um, hey Deadpool, why don't we talk about the day's happenings instead? Nice safe topic that has nothing to do with bon...err, squirrel girls and M&Ms?"
School
Deadpool: "That is a very good idea and one that will not force me to have horrible flashbacks and cry like a small girl, which is just awkward for myself, you, the squirrels. Well, maybe not the squirrels. Evil lil' buggers."
*angry chittering*
Deadpool: "STOP THROWING NUTS AT ME! I apologize! Okay? Damn squirrels. In classes today, Prophecy in Theory and Practice met up and-- I'm sorry, we have a class on prophecies? For real ones? Like, world savey 'Poccy kinda stuff?"
Wilson: "Pocky? You mean like that tasty Japanese treat? I didn't know Aziraphale had any tentacle monsters in his class. Love? I think we need to talk tomorrow when you get home."
Deadpool: "No, no, no. While 'Poccy might be crunchy on the inside, I think he might rip out my spine." *pause* "Well I think a chocolate covered Apocalypse would be hilarious and stop facepalming at me! Any way, those kids there turned in homework, which is bull because what kind of homework can they have? 'You will die a horible death' for everyone? I could've predicted that! They pulled items from a basket for some reason, maybe it was maaaaagical items, who knows, and meditated in pairs. Annette, the student who seems to want my finely shaped behind and Andrew passed notes in class. For shame children, for shame! The TAs were lazy and useless, eating food instead of helping keep order in class. Maybe Annette and Andrew wouldn't pass notes if they did their job, hmmm? Also, there was an unnamed teacher there for questioning. Ooo! Who is it? Is it that flowy haired Anakin? That new chick Lulu and her... huge tracts of land? Inquiring minds want to know!"
Wilson: *Dryly* "Mind?"
Deadpool: "Yes, minds. Plural. I'm sure others are curious like me! Mad Science also had class to today. Great, now I have Oingo Boingo stuck in my head."
Wilson: %"It's a dead man's paaarrrttyyyy% What? %Walking with a dead man, all dressed up with no where to go"% Honestly, Wade what's that pout for, you seem sensitive about something."
Deadpool: "I hate that band! Johnny and Victor took notes, like good students should. Nothing sinister there. Then the students... fired death lasers at dummies. Huh. Spoke too soon, huh? And again it seems I spoke to soon as they started firingat each other next?! What kind of class is this?! Oooooh, I get it now. Creepy McNinja was made TA. It all makes sense again. Cher, the student, not the singer... I hope... was worried that she might cause blindness with a laser and her dad would sue. Kid, lasers are the LEAST of your worries in this town.
From my heart and from my hand, won't people understand my intentions... Ooo! Weird science!
Oh, goddamn it. Stupid catchy song making me want to watch Molly Ringwald movies."
Wilson: "Are you feeling Pretty in ... okay okay forget I said anything."
Deadpool: "Already did! US Government also met and thankfully there was no scandal about any of the students doing naughty things in the bathroom. Instead, Lana, Anamamamathema and Henry all took notes. And they discussed the foundations of democracy. Ahh, a few hundred men in tiny leather speedos, fighting in a pretty way. Gotta love them ancient Greeks."
Wilson: "Leather speedos? Gottah wonder how they dealt with that small chafing problem."
Deadpool: "Baby powder. *cough* Not that I'm interested in a bunch of guys with abs you could grate cheese off in speedos. Don't think I don't see that smirk Nate! Anyway! Lana, who I kinda want as a TA now, brought Josh some pastries and coffee. STOP HOGGING THE GOOD TA'S, JOSH! Josh, the bastard, drank coffee and waited for questions and what is wrong with this squirrel?! Josh, I might hate you for having an awesome TA, but word to the wise, keep an eye out for a squirrel that wants you naked. Interspecies love meets Fatal Attraction there."
Wilson: *This time the facepalming can be heard across the mics*
Deadpool: "What? It's true! Shop Class was completely uneventful, as opposed to the class of weeeeird science!. The kiddies took notes and facepalmed for some reason. Then fixed some lamps and had an unspecified activity involving the dimmer switche. Oooo-kay.
Over in the class of the tricksy spy, 15 Ways to Protect Yourself and Others, which mostly involves running far, far away from dangerous things. Like Weasel does! Aly, you should have Weaz show up for your class. He's survived hanging out with me for... well a long time. Anyway, the kiddies took notes and then paired up to discuss their experience. Running away. Zulia the TA and Ponytail made faces at each other, very mature there boys. Aaaaand, the tricksy spy was also around. Most likely being tricksy.
Anemone, which I was under the impression was an aquatic creature of some sort, opened the library today. And my lil' minion enjoyed the ice cream over in the cafeteria. You didn't bring me any?! This saddens me, Rikku. Like a sad panda."
Wilson: "Are pandas usually sad? They seem sort of happy to me, eating bambo and getting encouraged to have baby pandas. There were office hours. Really this constitutes news? I'd think the making of baby pandas would..."
*BONK!*
"OW! Iknowarecipeforsquirrel. Fine. As I was saying, there were office hours for Kerrigan who I have not met yet, Aziraphale who I have met and I even had a conversation with him in my office hours. Fascinating stuff for you all to hear about, I'm sure.
In more interesting office type news, it seems that Deadpool talked to a voice in his head and then he spoke with Emma about the voice in his head."
*Pause*
"And as I say those words, might I remind you all that I'm trapped in a very small radio studio with this man and the rum seems to be gone."
Deadpool: "It's just Nate! And he's an actual person! Just... stuck in my brain. And watching my every move."
Wilson: "Did he pay full price for that movie, cause it seems the matinee would have been more cost effective. It appears -from these notes at least- that Rikku stopped by and my partner in the really small booth with no rum also spoke to her about the voices in his head. Is this what you meant about the threesome tonight, Wade?"
Deadpool: "Shut UP Nate! And for the last time people, there is nothing going on between myself and one Nathan Christopher Summers!"
Wilson: "Then stop calling out his name while you're with me! Office hours were also held by Silent Bob who wouldn't let his heterosexual life mate Jay go to his class and I'm not sure why that is news worthy but I am sure, I don't care to know either and Hoshi stopped by to speak with Barney during his office hours.
Barney? Like the giant purple dinosaur? Isn't he the teacher of Love something or other?
Now that that disturbing image is in my head, also holding office hours was Anakin, who had a call from Rory as well as a visit from Rose and Deadpool stopped by looking for alcohol. Did you find any? If so, why aren't you sharing?"
Deadpool: "Well, if I had any left..."
Wilson: "Drat."
Dorms
Wilson: "Up on the Second Floor Common Room, someone named Meg is watching Blue Planet in her pajamas which seems an educational thing to do and speaking of educational, it seems Johnny Storm was busy studying Meg while he popped popcorn in his hand. It says here that Johnny has a girlfriend but that he is a guy and he has eyes. Just in case anyone had any questions about Johnny being a guy ... or having eyes.
Deadpool: "Personally, I'd be worried if he was eye-less. No one needs an eye-less superhero who sets himself on fire. That's just an accident waiting to happen. More so than god cloning."
Wilson: "I think Johnny might be more concerned about his 'guyness' but I'll leave that for you two to work out some time. Joining the Blue Planet geek out party was Isabel, who also talked with Meg about documentaries and how space in Fandom seems to expand to accommodate crowds, and speaking of accommodating crowds, it seems that Johnny Storm and honestly for a guy with a girlfriend, he's making a lot of time with other girls but where was I ... oh, right he was accommodating Isabel who was teasing him with threats of ravishment and there's a note here about exposed assets, not really sure what they mean there, squirrels have really bad handwriting.
Adah makes for the fridge, grabs an apple, and gets invited by Meg to join in the documentary-watching and does anyone care to guess who waves at Adah? Anyone? Point to those who said Johnny Storm but this time when he invited her over to his room to meet his girlfriend ... mmm, uh well, Adah didn't seem to impressed and we'll just move right along to the next note shall we?
Bridge rambles at Adah, which kind of intimidated her a little but Isabel seems to have the knack and introduced herself to Adah without the pressure of inviting her to a potential threesome.
Isabel is and always has been a very proper young lady, after all.
Bridge, ever a gentleman, reassured his little sister Meg that she is not a dork for liking coral reefs as he loves them also and Isabel and Bridge discussed fish and a road trip to Florida, which would be a good place to find fish.
Speaking of fish, Anemone is lured in by shiny fishies and tells Meg she's named for the flower, not the aquatic animal, err in which case just disregard the first part of that sentence. Isabel continues with her polite introduction and also learns about the flower, not sea creature origin of Anemone's name.
Deadpool: "Discovery Channel, you lied to me!"
Wilson: "Well ... duh! You're talking about the people who produce Meerkat Manor and if that isn't a case of false advertising ... err, where was I? Abigail comes in. Meg is far too excited about this coral reef thing as she greets her but perhaps Abigail likes that sort of thing? It seems that Charlie is also happy to see Blue Planet, after all though there is a note here about some sort of confusion over Meg being Meg or possibly being Jo and that popcorn, Johnny and Rodney are somehow also thrown into the mix.
Bridge is happy to see Charlie, even after she tells him she's got a cold and Meg introduces herself which probably made Charlie glad she didn't say anything about Jo. Though that still leaves Johnny, Rodney and the popcorn but we'll just let those three have some private time.
Deadpool: "...what is with you and threesomes?"
Wilson: "My boyfriends are canoodling, it's kinda on my mind as well as in my mind an oh dear HIM I just admitted to having voices in my head, Wade ... your crazy is rubbing off on me.
Deadpool: *in a dry, completely un-Deadpool-like voice* "Yes, he does have a tendency to do that."
Wilson: *Pause, you can almost hear the mental 'Buh?'* "Uh, as I was saying, Isabel continues to be a social butterfly as she and Charlie catch up about classes and Charlie's cold, meanwhile Anders finds a corner to flop in from which he mistakes Meg for Jo and gets set straight, much to Bel's dismay I'm sure. Or perhaps it's Johnny's dismay as the note says here that the meeting between Johnny and Anders was slightly awkward and I imagine it would be what with the popcorn and Rodney somehow in the mix.
Bridge is now my new best friend for wanting to install an espresso bar .... and I just have to stop there because I'm currently in my happy place."
*Pause ... sound of another BONK!*
"Huh, what? It's an espresso machine dang it! Oh .. uh ... HI WE HAVE FISHIES! Well, that's what the note says that Anemone says and now I'm confused because I thought she was a flower? There is some sort of discussion regarding the loss of a pranking opportunity from this summer but as it involves a person I refuse to name on air, least she appear in a mirror behind me ... and Hoshi dropped in and Meg -not Jo- says hello.
Hoshi then spent some quality time with her roommate and met Anders as well as discussed Coral reefs with Meg -not Jo- and the non ownership of common rooms with Charlie.
Least we forget the fertile emo ground, known as the Roof, it seems that Annette settled up there with two bottles of tequilaand some emo of doom. However, I wonder if she factored in Savannah's hugging abilities?
Perhaps she did, cause the next note says that Jack Burton came upon a severely snockered Annette who was stuck on bottle number 89 of 99 bottles of beer on the wall and when he introduced himself, she introduced him to tequila.
Now that's going to be awkward at some point in the morning."
Deadpool: "Tequila is always a good idea. Huh, you'd think the dorms would be more exciting. Karal was doing paperwork in his room, not even with flair. Bor~ring! Hiding in her and slightly more interesting was Annette. Aaaaand Madrox was e-mailing in a bad mood and had a visit from Z! Heh. Hello lil' Madrox. A general announcement! Anyone who brings me a tape of Jamie here on that kid's show making out with himself will get an A even if I have to threaten another teacher to get it.
Z also visited Luke and they discussed how to decorate his side of the room. Ooh! Call While You Were Out! That carpenter is dreamy. ...the girl one! The girl carpenter!
Wilson: "You are just asking to get killed in your sleep tonight, aren't you?"
Deadpool: "...I miss boobs. Cassandra met Luke and Artoo and then traded runaway stories with Z. ...are you guys like those adorable Pride kids? Are you? Best selling and everything? Luke continues to be popular with the ladies with Dawn stopping by with demands of chocolate and stories and then music draws in Jaina.
Andrew ran into John Sheppard's room to pat him on the head. ...kinda weird, but whatever floats your boat I guess. Then Rodney stopped by for a friendly game of chess. Riiiiiight. Inara and Gavin have a Serious Talk. Note the caps there people. And there wasn't a break up, yaaay? Strange little shipper squirrels. Meanwhile, Troy and AJ fight over kissyface with Annette. Whoa there! How many guys does she have?
Harry intterupts Hermione's studying and is surprised the school didn't throw him down the stairs fro being in her room? What the hell? And Ron, the hater of Bea Arthur, wondered if she was reading Hogwarts: A History again. Which she apparently has memorized. Well, I guess it's better than having a Grisham novel memorized."
Town
Wilson: "Okay, let's see. Here in town, it says that 'Dick opens up Caritas already drunk' and I'm going to assume that this means Dick was already drunk, not Caritas since Caritas is a building ... but this is Fandom and you just never know." *Pointed pause*
Deadpool: "Oh flesh and blooood, I do not know! I do not knooow! Hmmm? Did you say something?"
Wilson: "... Uh yes but really, let's just pretend I didn't annnnnd moving right along, it seems that while in the building, that was not drunk, Dick and Annette engaged in a drunken and emoey conversation about their relationship. Trust me you two, it's much better to have drunken, emoey sex and save the conversation part of things for when you're sober. Meanwhile, elsewhere in the not drunk building it seems that Billy approved of Dick's drunkinating plan."
*Pause*
"Drunkinating? Is that like symbolibolca...symbolica...symboli...darn it, I still can't say that word. Moving along, Aziraphale -good evening my lovely buttercups!- had the Nest open tonight and he had some sort of beach them going. Excellent idea, love. I hope you had at least one sex on the beach ... or you know, just sex on the beach. And finally the Clinic was opened today but Dr. Troy in the morning along with Stanley holding his office hours
and Wyatt in the evening. Aww and it says here Wyatt used his time to study, isn't that studently of him. Unless he was studying Dr. Troy's special anatomy books in which case .." *Adult like throat clearing*
Deadpool: "That's just code for porn, right?"
Wilson: "I plead the Fifth. Aly stopped by Roy's with cookies and chess which seems like a nice combination and Stanley cooked and drank alone.
Deadpool: "Huh. Aly never brought me cookies."
Wilson: "Did you ever bring her cookies? We pause now for a moment of emo silence ... no, we don't. Stanley, don't eat and drink alone! Go down to Caritas and get to drunkinating. It's healthier ... plus I just love saying that word 'drunkinating, drunkinating, roly poly drunkinating'.
I'm also being informed that 'Sanity has left the building'. Yeeaahhh, I think that was a given."
Deadpool: "Xander of the eyepatch was over at Mauvaise Chance's office, watching Spooky Things. Was it the episode with the Kansas music video? I LOVE THAT EPISODE! Makes me all misty and thinking of the ending of a great series even though it wasn't...
Huh. Why do I feel like something is ending out there? Like a million voices all cried out at
Mel, the destroyer of cars, stopped by to ask Xander if she could stake her pretend-vampire stalker and barring that if she should pretend to be a mime for a day to get him to stop. Uh, does anyone else see something off about that? Just me?"
Wilson: "Personally, I'd stake the mime and tell the vampire stalker to stop but mimes are strange that way"
Deadpool: "Mimes. Almost as bad as clowns. I hate clowns. Isabel stopped by to warn Eyepatchy about Blackheart. Wow, that is one edgy name. Does he also wear spikes and brood about killing a town on accident?
Turtle, my other favorite minion, opened up Turtle & Canary and was bored. I suggest a hobby. Maybe stamp collecting?"
Wilson: *Sound of a choked off snort.*
Deadpool: "What? It's a perfectly respectable hobby! Oh! But then customers arrived and all was well with the world again. First, Robin came in, asking for DVDs of his Uncle Kermit and they discuddes Sulley and his job as resident tall person at the store. Niiiice. Turtle tried to sell Mary a nice loose fitting sweater, but thankfully she only wanted cookie supplies. Turtle! We do not cover up pretty women's--you know, I'mma stop here before Arashi kills me in my sleep.
Chad was totally working over at Groovy Tunes. Yeah, we believe that. And Leo was at the Photo Hut. No word on whether or not he was working too.
River, Jeff, and Hoshi staged a revolution at the hotel, locking up Gunther, and replacing the specials board. Did they bring out the guillotine or take an oath in a tennis court?
And there's that image of an ax coming down on me again. Weird. Is the 4th wall crashing again?
Then, during this bloody and terrifying revolution, River did the unthinkable and cooked. Irulan was a brave lil' toaster and managed to eat River's lovely sandwich of strawberries and sardines. Mmm, like mom used to make. Jack Burton, came in and ordered nachos with sprinkles, only to get dessert. Mmm, sprinkles.
Using cruel and unusual punishment, Hoshi tried various languages to get Gunther to stop talking. I suggest knives. Can't misinterrpret that language! A gushing squirrel that I might have to hunt down, loves that Jeff and Irulan talked about naked television watching and covering up of burns. Let's just put that out of mind for now. A list of demands is placed up by Jeff, and it sure as hell better include taxation of the first and second estates.
With a much less edgy name now that it's known he works at Pixie Dust, Blackheart opened the store for business. Aaaaand was annoyed by Isabel with whom he talks about hell. FUN TIMES! Also? Andrew stops by. No word of talking about hell.
Liz, who you'll remember as the kid who set me on fire that one time, Nate, opened the post office. And over at the church, an angry Gabriel tried to tape up a broken window. Was it those darn hooligans and their stick ball that did it? Annette stopped by to confess and insist that, no, she can not fix the window. Because she hates God. And baby Jesus. And baby Nate.
With the phlegmy name, Yitzhak opened up Luke's. Why doesn't he go by Luke? It's a much less throat clearing name.
There is also a, and I quote, "frozen bananer stand". I want some frozen bananers. Stopping by to discuss the utter unfairness of a nuts surcharge-
*chittering*
-well some people have allergies! It's not pretty, all puffy and fat Oprah looking when they should look like skinny Oprah."
Wilson: "Oprah has never been skinny, she's only been less fat."
Deadpool: "...true. But still not good all around. And there are people with chocolate allergies? Those poor deprived folks. Never knowing the joy of the cocoa. Anyway! After this discussion, Willow left with a double dipped bananer. Not dirty. I hope. God, I hope."
Wilson: *There might have been the sound of face palming, once more* "I'd fear Willow if I were you."
Deadpool: "I don't fear trees! Naminé with that nifty little accent mark opened up Café Fina, also with that nifty accent mark, and offered free dessert if people brought in art to decorate the walls. Leo took her up on that offer with some photographs. Cassandra stopped by to make sure the plates and dishes were on the level... Yeah. I think they are, but you never know. The French, you know. Just ask Jean-Paul. Or not, because he'll just swear at you in French. Last, Steve stopped by to let her know that most of his recent work is war drawings and not for the walls of a adorable little café.
And again that feeling of cancellation. What is up with that?"
Wilson: "We're out of notes and it's the end of the broadcast, so we should say that this has been Wilson and Wilson, who are not M&Ms, reporting to you about the days misadventures on WTFH radio, thank you and goodnight!"
Deadpool: "G'night Fandom! Remember to tip your waitresses!
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"Buttercups?!"
[ooc: *DIES* So much awesomeness, guys!]
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Awww, she missed Deadpool on the radio.
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If he'd been more awake he'd have wondered how they hadn't managed to kill each other. Or possibly headdesk a lot more.
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"It's still an edgy name."
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"Let's just hope the couch is booby enough for him."
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[zomg Wilson & Wilson FTW]
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This might be a good thing.
(omg, you two are made of win! *died laughing*!)
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Johnny thought he should probably lay low for awhile anyhow, just in case Savannah wanted a piece of him. Unless it was a good piece. He could go for a good piece... of her, not him.
Umm.